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I feel you, bro. Once you go through a certain point, there is no going back. Metaphysical realizations tend to be scary at first, all you need to do is do your best to integrate it. Practice presence, like you, are in the center of a hurricane. Doesn't matter what happens, just practice presence, acceptance, and love. I am also in a place where Reality became so fluid it is scary like i am perpetually in a microdose of shrooms or something. It is hard to ground myself in such a fluid context but what can i do besides continue to try? It is not like you have a choice like it was said to you: you are falling, groundless, you can scream in despair or you can bliss out in pure acceptance. Think like this: how would a Master Zen or Buddha deal with this situation? Have you ever thought about the perspective of a spiritual master? Do you think he lives in a groundless reality or a material one? He is probably experiencing a constant mindblowing Reality but keeping his shit together by flowing with it as a non-stop meditation practice.

Depressing dark nihilism, I experienced earlier today. Similar to the dark night of the soul that I had experienced 5 years ago. When I look back at my life, all the physical troubles that I went through pale in comparison to the psychological troubles. I've had my share of both kinds but believe it or not, physical suffering is nothing compared to the psychological. Even though it may seem like quite the opposite. When you talk about it; words don't do justice to either of them. When I talk about physical suffering, people think it's terrible, catastrophic, and unbearable, when that would actually be an exaggeration. It isn't really horrible as it sounds. On the other hand, psychological suffering is really, really, really terrible. I can't stress that enough. It's always underestimated, and sometimes it's literal hell, no kidding. Because most people don't experience the most extreme levels of psychological suffering, such as the dark night of the soul, people tend to assume that physical suffering is the worst thing that can happen. Physical suffering is much easier because it's affected by your beliefs about it. You can endure hardships if you have certain beliefs about reality. You can make physical sacrifices. You can even enjoy the pain sometimes. Think about ISIS soldiers and how they live in the worst physical conditions there is as a form of Jihad. They don't feel bad about it. They actually believe that they will be rewarded in the afterlife, and that makes all the suffering disappear. I've been a Muslim and I know how beliefs work. However, psychological suffering is very different. When your beliefs about reality break apart. When your whole world comes crashing down. When your mind becomes your worst enemy. Even if you have everything and all the money and power in the world, you will not be able to buy your way out of it. The mind won't take bribes. The slave becomes the master. It will torture you. It will humiliate you. It will make you submit against your will. You won't even know what's happening, and you cannot avoid it. For me, it was brutal. On top of all my physical suffering and several years of depression, a hearbreak, a realization of no free will, and an internal conflict between theism and atheism, an existential crisis took place. That was the worst thing I have ever experienced. I don't remember how long it was, but I do remember that I wouldn't wish it to my worst enemies. Endless suffering with no one there to help me out. I would wake up at night and cry sometimes with a terrifying fear of death (there were no lights most of the times due to the electrical damage caused by the war). I would wander in the streets, and look at the moon and the stars and wonder in pain: Why the fuck?! What do you want from me?! Why did you create me if you're gonna torture me?! I was never suicidal, but I wished that I never existed, and sometimes that I would die to get rid of the suffering. Until I discovered meditation. (I'm out of words now; when you taste bliss you forget all the suffering, and vice-versa).

Thanks serpent for giving us the fruit so that we can say stuff or creation is bad or badly. Otherwise we would have thought everything's good. Think how annoying this bliss would be.

Thanks for everyone replies! I am already about a week into NoFap. I don't even want to call it NoFap or anything, I was originally just practice letting go, but I guess I'll let go fapping for real. What I have seen is that it is less waste of a time. And also,, my dick feels new lmao. As far as the 'not fapping while i can' thing goes, I think I can achieve same (even greater ofc) bliss thorugh meditation and all that spiritual work. How I know this? Cuz I have been there done that before. It's better than sexual orgasm, so maybe I should just quit being such a slave to survival (always am, but I want to atleats quit some gross manifestation of that survival insitinct). I'll stop counting from now on, counting will only keep my focus on it.

@Lyubov Nah, Sadhguru is all about spreading mainstream appeal to spirituality. I don't think he's actually trying to teach everyone how to become liberated. I've heard him say openly that he isn't, but that he's giving everyone a way to slowly get there and not regress in spiritual progress they've made. He used some analogy that most people are playing a game of snakes and ladders, with enlightenment being the goal at the end. And he seems himself as giving teachings which remove the snakes. But it's up to you how quickly you reach the last square, he doesn't see himself as teaching you how to get there. Since he's hindu, I'm presuming he thinks you'll get another lifetime or something to carry over your progress in this lifetime. I'm not sure I believe that You know, psychedelics aside, sadhguru might unironically be quite close to Leo in his view of things. Sadhguru is always talking about chemistry, the "science of bliss" , getting the correct neurochemistry, all that. ____________________________________________ (idk how to delete boxes on mobile)

Collision with the Infinite by Suzanne Segal Honestly, one of the best books on enlightenment for me. Not a typical airy-fairy book about bliss and happiness and rainbows. Rather, she describes that enlightenment can be a brutal process without a proper context and groundwork.

The ego/self would believe there to be an incredible firework show where all the secrets of the universe are revealed and instant bliss attained. Everyone has a different experience. Here it could be summed up as ordinary and extraordinary simultaneously. But to answer your question better, yes gradual awakening is often the case. A slow gradual understanding of the mechanisms that create suffering. Like the fog or veil slowly lifting to reveal what was always true. The mind is accustomed to gaining knowledge. Awakening goes the opposite direction, its a falling away or a deprogramming, a disentangling from the socially conditioned mind matrix or self centered egoic agenda. ❤

Amazing book about 5-MeO-DMT-experience and more. Here some of my notes / marks: One of the most difficult things about the tryptamine experience is that the more you believe in the veracity of your own experience, the more difficult so-called normal reality becomes. It seems to me that DMT and 5-MeO-DMT—and to a lesser extent mushrooms, peyote, and San Pedro—can open you up to a natural place that is closer to the true center of existence. In contrast, the synthetic analogues that human beings have invented—LSD, DIPT, DOM, ketamine, and so on—can only reveal a crueler mirror-world of that reality—a place where ultimately our human frailties betray us. A friend offered the description that you are “a drop, which returns to the ocean” on 5-MeO-DMT —an excellent metaphor in my opinion. These ideas, which in truth have circulated in Hindu and Buddhist philosophies for centuries, have their modern origin in theories proposed by Aldous Huxley, Peter Russell, and most lately, Bernard Haisch, regarding the idea that our consciousness is essentially a filter of a far greater universal consciousness. The esoteric traditions tell us that creation by subtraction is one of the fundamental truths underlying reality. It may be that we develop more and more advanced consciousness filters through a series of births and rebirths. Perhaps some of us have undergone far more rebirths into this dimension, while others are like children at the beginning of their explorations in this earthly paradise of matter, with a long, discovery-filled path of many reincarnations ahead of them. To use the analogy of a rocket escaping the pull of Earth’s gravity, it is as if DMT is only powerful enough (at regular doses) to send you out of the atmosphere, but then the gravity of your ego pulls you back in. 5-MeO-DMT, on the other hand, is an interstellar vessel—it blasts you out of the atmosphere before you can even put the pipe down, and if you can learn to use it right, it can take you straight back to the Mind of G/d. This pure self-awareness of the “unfiltered” light is our ultimate consciousness, a state of peace and bliss—an awareness that the pure consciousness one experiences is but a concentrated point within a single universal consciousness. The quantum model proposes that the universe exists as an interconnected web of relationships, forever indivisible, since nothing has any meaning by itself!

Productivity entry 4 Goal: 8 hours of math - just keep it simple. no fancy philosophical ideas. Just collect and polish associas 2 hours Check emails + figure out when report readings are yes, 10:50 am, not all emails meditate 2 times - no fancy bullshit, like yesterday. Just do it. yes, and more! 1. Morning routine I'm currently wasting time scrolling the forum. I'm afraid of what's going to come. I guess this is better than youtube. What am I going to do about this? All I need to do now is meditate. I'm so deeply afraid of owning up to my mistakes by checking those emails. Right now I simply can't see myself getting my ass to stay on schedule..? This is a recurring problem and I feel that having public journal can really revolutionize the discipline aspect of my life because I have access to it in the middle of a mindless rut - like a stick to grab onto amidst drowning in quicksand. I'm done reading about Leo's relationship drama on the thread. I'm ready to meditate Meditated. Since starting the journal, I'm much better at it. 30 minutes passes by like a few seconds in the really good sessions. 2. Golf visualization + visualize opening the emails + bad habits visualization (applied to this situation). Do for about 2 hours. I always get really distracted when I do the golf visualization. In particular I have this weird fear regarding the nature of what a visualization is, having to do with its ill defined-ness - I would really like to dig out exactly what this fear is. For the time being let's just do it. Did it. Went so well, because I acknowledged the existence of this strange fear. I feel so fortunate. And this made me want to golf again lol. I used to visualize my goals early in this work, but I have stopped since then. I realized that I better get my ass on that train again - have forgotten how powerful it is. I think what it was was that I started to learn about enlightenment, which made me kind of devalue a lot of the normal self help. I now realize how backwards this is, and am currently reorienting myself. Here is a recorded negative visualization of not shying away from fixing my mistakes (too long to post) 3. Check the goddamn emails, focusing on the angry Victor ones for 10 min. Figure out when report readings are. done. I checked some of the emails and the report reading is at 10:50 am. I am absolutely terrified right now, but peaceful at the same time. So I am going to take a short tamed break - tea, jerk off, eat, walk benny in 1: 45 min, then get on with math. 4. Go for a walk with 5 minutes or running and 20 pushups done. Meditated 2nd time. I'm going to visualize for 15 min on collecting 10 associas, and the process will be spending 10 minutes on my own tryin to do it, then excavating an associa, so I don't dissolve into reading solutions. Again, you have this weird fear/resistance to visualizing, so, Scotty, I grant you permission to not feel that fear this one time ( and times to come). I visualized and then entered into this state of pure meditative bliss where I was letting all the "gifts of the ego" go. God was that sweet. Can't say I've experienced that before, though I have been in altered states. The difference with this one was that I was just letting every single thing go, and I knew how to do it. 5. Collect associas for geodesic and hyperbolic geometry + Get like 10 in total with moderate generality. Get a notebook of these things. I'm changing my strategy a little bit. I'll proceed like so Spend ten minutes finding until you get stuck from the notes, excavate an associa - this doesn't have to have the found stuckness state as its head. The situation is a bit more nuanced than that write down the head and the tail of the associa, clearly denoted and know that there could have been many (slightly different) others. Embrace the arbitrariness. spend 2 minutes consolidating it in your head. Again, you have this weird fear relating to visualizations and you're free not to feel it. Do 6 of these. Incomplete. I did three of them. Now I will drink some tea, jerk, meditate + visualize, then head to bed. Wake up early (say 9 am) for report reading. Day review: Quite impressed that I checked emails. It was terrifying. The math session was short but sweet. Tomorrow I can fully focus on this part of the day - cut right to the chase. Then tomorrow, we can collect a bunch more associas, and maybe start to put them together in clever ways - like proof deconstruction, scouting out problems to apply them to and recording the effects, scouting out technical errors, or starting to solve actual problems. But don't be too fancy!

Leo, we all know that god, all there is is unconditional love. thats no secret around here. but this duality we are currently in allows for many to experience the (illusory) absence of love. and this absence of love, this seperation from god can make it, that souls fall so far from light, that they get stuck and cant return to it even if they wanted. this seperation from source caused by their own free will, means eternal agony for them! this is true hell! to have trapped yourself in the darkest place possible where you feel only pain and can only cause more pain to others.. now you can imagine why there are souls that simply want to destroy everything out of pure anger.. its a very very sad thing! hose who arent able to step into the light in the end will have to be taken into the galactic central sun for their souls to be completely transmuted. now imagine, this is something we all could have fallen to! or imagine, you once knew a soul, that once like you was enjoying the love and bliss of the higher realms, but then took the path of darkness and got so lost that only their utter annihilation can "save" them. sure, in the end, its still all love.. but holy crap, if this is not a reason to end duality for good now, i dont know what is... it seems strangely that your worldview allows for an worringly amout of suffering to be part of the game.. but instead of allowing it, we are fucking ought to stop it!! we also have the power to stop it!! thats why i am here, thats what i am constantly rambling about! to see reality as it is and to change it! we are conditioned to believe its all part of the game, but this is the crucial error! when we realise this, we can claim back our true sovereignity as beings of light and follow our calling to transmute all dark here on earth. we have to become aware of how and why there is so much suffering here on earth and that in no way it has to be that way! the third density reality is indeed the darkest "place" in this universe! (BEWARE:GRAPHIC!: I mean they systematically torturerape children and make them eat their own babies in order to create fragmented personalities and minds to control - does it get any more horrid than this?). ... bullshit like this is the reason why i think every decent being should have some interest in ending duality. to end duality is possible and we are actually in the process of it happening right now, if ou are aware of it or not. but every single one of us counts. the sooner the collective consciousness is ready, the sooner we will be freeing ourselves all together from this perpetual cycle of suffering.

I developed a really bad rash yesterday. Felt extremely sick. I had work to do on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday and... I did literally nothing throughout each of those days. Absolutely no work. When I touched the keyboard to type, I felt like I was developing a fever and I was about to vomit. My body was severely resisting working. I had been very unproductive for the past 3-5 months on all fronts, from spirituality, to my career to my relationships to my friendships and to spending time with my family. And I was feeling extremely disappointed in myself for allowing that to happen. So to make up for the work I missed, I decided to do work on Saturday... but Saturday was the day I developed an extremely bad rash, went to the doctors and they said it was a stress rash and that I had to rest. I have a bunch of good psychedelic friends that I hang out with occasionally and I went with them for a picnic on Sunday to try and destress. Hanging out with them really inspires my dreamboard. Living with a community like them is the sort of people I'd love to have as neighbors, work with, have relationships with and hang out with. Deeply generous, deeply open minded and accepting to who you are, sees the significance in getting along, cooperating, not fighting, respecting and working with everyones' views, deeply generous. They gathered in a sunset close to a lake within a Royal Botanical Park(forest reserve), one of the guys is a deeply wise psychonaut whose been at psychedelics for the past 30-40 years, lived and worked with people in the amazon, etc. He brought over psychedelics plants for us to take home and grow ourselves. Another one has lots of experience in chemistry and gave us some books to borrow about extractions and cultivation techniques. Another one is deeply into shamanism and was demonstrating and teaching us different ways of evoking spirit animals and using it for healing. Another is a deeply motivated magick practitioner around the same age as me (23) who quit uni himself and started his own company just doing magick and making a living off it. And there are a few others who also have really cool characters. The experienced psychonaut brought rape over with an excited grin because rape always makes people scrunch their faces in weird ways when ingesting it. The first was the magick practitioner who was taking it for the first time. The experienced psychonaut blew a huge dose up his nose with a mischievous, playful look. The magick practitioner looked like he was about turn into the hulk but eventually settled down. The others all had a go of it and had similar expressions, just a basket of scrunched up, hulk turning faces. Then as I watched them all, the experienced psychonaut proudly popped in front of me and strongly insisted to give this thing a go. I hesitantly agreed, and then the rape was blowing up my brains in a matter of seconds, and my fate of scrunching up my face like I was turning into the hulk had met itself like the others. The magick guy got up and ran straight for the lake to check it out with his new visuals and buzzing state. Another one lied down in the ground in ecstasy as the buzzing kicked in, and the others sat around talking about how cool their experience was, and how beautiful the day was. A several of them are into spirituality and wanted my advice for adviata vedanta because they wanted to know what truth is. I sat with them and helped them question their beliefs as they were on rape which is always fun for me because I love arguing about this stuff. They always seem super fascinated about what its like to go deep on the spiritual path and get lots of epiphanies in real time which I love seeing. I went over to the psychonaut expert to talk about trichos because I love his cactuses. He puts so much care into growing them and always gives us some when we meet him. His trichos have these beautiful wavy patterns on them, you can trip just by looking at them. His trichos are bright green, and have a vibrant aura to them. You can feel its personality. And he constructed a family tree that traces each tricho back to the amazon so that he knows which part of the amazon it comes from. Its truly beautiful to see all the history. The rape kicked mildly intensely. For me, somehow no matter what psychedelic I take, they are all the same flavour, same style. Mescaline/trichos = ayahuasca = LSD = rape. The rape deepened the Oneness and increased the bliss felt throughout the day. And in that instant, the rape's message kicked in too. At the forefront of experience is movement to expand consciousness, change our careers to make it more fulfilling, achieve dating and relationship goals, its just movement, movement, so much so that ironically, while you may think you're moving forward and changing and growing, you're actually just stuck in movement. Just constantly in a sea of change, yet never appreciated or respected what the result of that sea of change is. Is that what your life on your deathbed will amount to? Just a sea of movement, from birth to death, and missing all of the beauty inbetween, which was the point of the movement anyway. There's a need to change careers, learn relationship techniques, learn new meditation protocols. Yet if you just move, without just sitting and appreciating and doing the opposite of movement. How will you appreciate and love the pearls and roses that arose on the journey that you took. You might think that the road has a holy grail of an ending, but really the holy grail was all the little gems that you saw and appreciated in awe as the journey unfolded and changed. Its the experience of being there through the journey that gives you the holy grail. When you're moving without appreciating, its like you're going through the levels of mario without picking up the coins. You end the game with nothing. Even though you thought the end of the game itself was everything. There's literally no hell, the rape said. Its all just love. The worst stuff like poverty and robbery and murder is just love, and yet you're still pushing towards some goal. Where are you going? I'm just in the movement out of habit. It can't get any better then just love everywhere. Every goal I have promises love. And love is now. Its a goal that leads back to where it started. Movement can also be stagnation. Movement can also be stuckness. Movement can also be going nowhere or being stuck in a rut. Its not just not doing anything that can be those things, its also doing stuff constantly without relief or appreciation or gratefulness. The attitude of being hardcore and always achieving stuff and "doing the work" is great, yet limited when "doing the work" misses "appreciating the work's end". Because if you don't do that, then you're arriving at the exact same cul de sac that no work and being lazy ends up with. And what are you really achieving if you're stuck in movement? The end goal is love, are you really getting love by just immersing yourself in movement constantly? What if there was a counter intuitive truth that movement without appreciation and relief achieved as much as no movement? You got no closer to what you wanted then doing nothing. The group I was with really honed in this "insight". I was wanting to change my life and make it better, yet I already was involved with the exact community I was seeking. I already had it. Here they were. I dont need to chase after such a community, because they are already here. The whole reason why I even got this insight in the first place is because I already had the community I wanted. Ironically I then got heaps of business insights on how I could change my career to make it more in align with what I wanted - just by accepting and appreciating I already had what I was seeking. And the girl I liked there liked me back, and what's the go with all this movement to achieve pickup goals when the girl you like is already in the community you wanted? This was a very counter intuitive lesson on how LOA works. I didn't realize LOA required appreciating what it had already given you, and that once you did that, it goes into overdrive on showing you what you need to do. Appreciation isn't just something you do to feel good or to adhere to values of respect. Appreciation and gratitude is actually a necessary element of living life. Its a mechanism for allowing you to see what's truly there. Appreciation is looking at the truth head on. Its a pause from looking at the dream, a moment to look at the pure absolute. Without appreciation you cannot know the truth. Because without appreciation you're not looking at it. And without looking at the truth, LOA cannot work its magic to align your wants with the truth, because you're just feeding LOA movement which isn't truth and therefore LOA wont manifest for you more alignment with truth. Overall the rape was a great experience, and I'd recommend rape to anyone whose ok with a covid swab style administration.

Investigate what you are made of in a literal sense. Look into science, quantum mechanics. It’s much more about realizing and releasing misunderstanding, misinterpretation of reality & misidentification of self, than it is acquiring ideas & beliefs and trying to remember them. In learning about reality, namely QM’s, it begins to be realized there is not a separate object, ‘you’ , which has or does not have control over ‘reality’, as in ‘other separate things’. The word nonduality points to ‘not two’. For example, look for the separation between things seen, the seeing, and the awareness of the seeing. Similarly, look for any actuality of the ‘layers’ you mentioned. Be incredibly open minded, such that you consider it might not be that you don’t have control, but that control is a concept rather than an actuality. A thought, basically. Inspect thoughts, notice each thought seems to have meaning, only by referencing what it is not. Such as up loses meaning when you take away down, and down has no meaning without the subtle indirect reference to up. How do you know control is not the illusion? To have ‘control over your illusion’ is already to believe you are separate. spect, rather than assume. Inspect beliefs, such as “I was born”. Let assumptions go, and inquire into the actuality, or direct experience. Did you actually experience being born, or is it a belief? Again, this requires incredible open mindedness, which in large part means when thoughts arise in regard to what you’re sure you know to be true, you relax and let such thoughts come & go, rather than continuing to belief them. Inspect for what is actual. Notice subtle assumptions. Is your thought about nothing from direct experience, or an assumption. Is perception actually ‘yours’. Does ‘power’ even actually exist. What is it. How is it such that ‘you’, could have ‘it’. What does qm’s reveal about ‘parts’. How do you know those hindsight thoughts aren’t a facade, such that there is only the belief you’re doing any of that. What if it’s happening, and in believing the thoughts, you’re believing you’re doing, making decisions, etc. How are you separate of the universe. What is a universe. What is control, beyond a thought / idea. If thoughts freely come & go, without attachment / believing them, how is it known you are the person, the “I” which can’t jump 10 ft, which eats or does not. How would you prove you are the body, rather than the gravity, the million dollars, the bank account. Without beliefs, what is an identity. Ever seen or heard an identity. What does what you are have to do with God or anyone else. What is an ‘ego’, ‘living’, a ‘person’, ‘survival’, a ‘saint’. Sort assumption from direct experience. What is bliss. What is being. What is divine love. What is the evidence you are not.

Several months? Don't stress man, no one realizes god that fast. If you inspect closely enough, a materialist world is not only unproveable, as you cannot test something outside of consciousness, but actually inconceivable. I think you need to stop looking at all the things that seem to not be in your control, and realize what is in your control. What is reality? Mind. Perspective. What is the point of all of this work? Mastering your mind. You can only 'control' the mind by letting go of the need to control it. What does the fact that you can't control things like you are Jesus have to do with anything anyway? Are you open minded enough to consider that this 'rigid' reality where you seem to have no control IS exactly what you, consciousness ( because that is all YOU are ), intended it to be? How are you separate from universe? Have you considered why such a saint is feeling pure bliss? If you truly want the truth, be more sceptical of scepticism.

Instant Full Body Orgasm Super easy to do and grows with practice Tools used, Visualization, Anchoring(Hypnosis), Ask any guru and they say only the advanced practitioner can visualize with their eye open, they are idiots. Daydreaming is self hypnosis visualization with eyes open and you were able to do that before you ever heard about visualization. This is how you do it, visualize yourself having an orgasm if you don't know what it's like pretend you know. I will tell you what it's like now how I know is watching action movies with my dad, there is always a scene of romance, arch your back like shoulder blades touching each other, tilt head back, tongue touching roof of mouth bite lower lip, squint eyes, slowly slide hand from neck down to belly button, doing the fire breathe. So now you see yourself experiencing this orgasm, now put your finger center chest below collar bone, press hard, then double the excitement, slide finger down half inch, at peak level press hard again, double the bliss, slide finger down, press hard at peak level, do the same over and over again doubling pleasures, intensity, glory, joy, wonder, anticipation, fascination. All the way to the belly button. Then test it slide your finger down your chest using the same amount of pressure. If the feelings arn't there just act like they are, pretend, imagine, do like I say above arch back, shoulder blades together, tilt head back, nibble on your lower lip, everything and be sure to do the fire breath. Keep doing and you'll see incredible results Limiting beliefs will prevent you from succeeding, eliminate the limiting belief and you'll succeed Imagine the belief as a piece of paper and light it on fire Poof Gone Just like that, it's very simple

@Eren Eeager I don't understand your question clearly. It depends on what do you define this bliss you're talking about as. It's definitely not the human emotion. Since only humans can experience human emotions. A rock doesn't experience bliss In Hinduism they talk about the ultimate reality as sat-chit-ananda. Being consciousness bliss. But they don't mean bliss as an emotional state. They mean the state of being unconditional and free.

@CultivateLove that's the events that happen in the course of love. But love in its experiential form isn't hurtful. For example if your mom is giving you affection right now and loving you, it's not hurtful. If you're loving a pet right now it's not hurtful. The process of love is not hurtful And if your mom said something that is hurtful then it's the words and her actions that are hurtful. But the love that she has for you is not hurtful. Similarly if someone dies, the death or loss is hurtful. Love is eternal and love is pure bliss. Whatever happens, the lover has no control over it. But in their intent to love you, it's pure love in the moment.

Well, love can hurt like hell too. Accepting love is bliss isn't always so easy if you're experiencing the rough side of it.

@Eren Eeager you're right with your insight. It is pure bliss. How can it not?

I ended up freaking out as always, oh my freaking OCD. But I think I got it, it cannot be but Bliss, how could God be able to be itself as the driving force for all existence without bliss?

that's some non duality happening right there. (that wasnt me who posted that). I didn't realise Connor was into tantra sex now. He always gave me sinister/showoff/arrogant vibes so I never really watched his content. But if he's into this tantra sex stuff now, maybe my judgements are seriously deluding me. Maybe I should start watching his content. Recently I've been really applying a rethink of how relationships work within myself (just through my own derivations from contemplation), where relationships are more of a scaffolding for reaching the infinite, rather than something to get attached to. There's lots of toxicity in how relationships work in society (and even among personal dev junkies like on here) that is just a distraction and waste of time. Getting attached to someone else is just an absurd thing to do when breaking up is largely inevitable and necessary for growth for most people. The archetypes for males and females are largely toxic and outdated (even though normalised). And what both men and women want is to override these archetypes, attachments and to see the divine that sparkles through relationships, so why not go in that direction? If instead of viewing relationships as a way to get sex, or a way to get happiness through a human form (the other person), what if you viewed relationships as a way of exploring the consciousness that you are. A way of knowing Thyself with greater intensity. Every interaction with a women is an opportunity to explore how your body and mind interacts with the opposite sex, how our chakra and energetic systems mingle, and what they actually do and want. What if its an opportunity to explore and release traumas, an opportunity to explore bliss and joy and happiness not from the vantage point of it all coming from the opposite sex, but from it coming from within. When seeing a women on the street, you're not seeing someone to have sex with, you're seeing a library of information about your traumas, chakra system, energy system, different states of consciousness you've never explored before. And approaching her means the opportunity to open that library and see what YOU are made of, actually. And every woman is not just an opporunity for you to explore what You're made of, but to help her explore what she's actually made of. You can literally transform a human being through a relationship. Instead of making relationships about maintaining titillation through a binding contract for what the other person must serve you, and how how long (short or long term relationship) see the relationship as a course or journey of transformation of your own being. In other words, it doesn't matter if you break up, because it never was about staying together, it was always about transforming yourself and the other. And choosing to stay together is only about whether that helps both of your journeys. I've been experimenting with this mindset in pickup, and it seems to be working, given the right techniques and processes used when doing pickup.

it’s kind of silly to argue for distinction in a nonduality forum, I don’t know what to say. But boredom is not a response to a threat and neither is irritation, and that’s what fear is. A response to threat. A lack of engagement or satisfaction is not a threat to the ego. I suspect you’d argue it is, tho, which is why I don’t really want to argue. I guess I have tho, lol. You know, I could see my incentive to disagree comes from fear. And that makes me want to double down on my position. Fear is not present for me when I’m bored. Irritation and boredom are sisters, a response to dissatisfaction. A claim that fear is dissatisfaction would be a bastardizing off what fear is. But again this feels silly in a nonduality forum. Distinction is an illusion, in the end. Might as well say love is fear. Edit: boredom is like the incentive to play. boredom is a sister to playfulness, that’s not fear. Now that I’ve had my say, I’m curious rather than afraid. it’s additive. I’m afraid you’ll tell me I’m wrong, and I’m curious what your response will be. two different emotions. Edit2: ultimately I’m saying my desire to awaken stems from curiosity Edit3: one thing Leo said in another thread (I wrote it down) is this - “one thing you can bank on is this - all fear is illusion and falsehood “ and honestly this applies to emotions in general. Emotions are driving when we’re identified with them, and when we practice mindfulness emotions become fleeting and illusory. Perhaps the desire for enlightenment comes from suffering. You had that in your initial analysis. Ultimately suffering is the bigger picture of emotional experiences. There is suffering and there is bliss, two halves to the same coin. Practiced meditation leads to bliss and ego transcending. And an unpracticed mind is rife with emotion.

@arlin the secret to everlasting happiness has been found thousands of years ago by great sages - that secret is that happiness can only be found within. The truth is, you are being a bit overdramatic and can't see yourself as a beautiful divine creature. We are sad and angry at the world because people don't see us in our infinite divine nature and beauty. The world is cruel. We can't live with an open heart. We can no longer love. But it's our own fault of rejecting the love of God. The ego has inferiority complex, it was created by the social system in order to satisfy and please others. The truth is that you are NOT the ego. The real self has NOTHING to do with the body, with gender or past. The question of who you really are is a very intimate one. God loves everyone and he sees everyone as beautiful. There is no favoritism. To find out who you really are, you need to abide in the heart of your being, which means that you have nothing to do. It's our center deep within, the core full of divine love, the secret to unending bliss. We crave attention and love from others because we see God in it. And if it's not women but money then it's still love/happiness/bliss. Why not go in for God's love directly ? It's like rejecting someone giving you billions of dollars for free (without any malice).

swadishtana - sacral centre or navel centre manipuraka - solar plexus chakra In my experience with this practice, and many others these become actual physical points of bliss, but that's with chakras in general.

What you can really do is that you can re-experience those events in emotional layer to relive yourself of thek which will make the interraction like 90% easier foward. You sit with yourself, close your eyes and then remember the event in the past exactly as it happened. So now let it get to you emotionally, remember how the event felt, example. I was being gaslit by my neighbour. He is personally insulting me, creating fear in me, he said this and that and did this and that. Now after describing that in more detail, i notice that i am feeling bad. So now you write down how you feel - he made you feel powerless, angry, upset, envious, inferior, sad, depressed, shocked, e.c.t. and now you stop the mental argument and purely focus on the emotions experienced in emotional layer. Like feel that powerlesness as it is with no mental arguing or proving some point in your head but experience it like the feeling got to you, really and be aware of it. And keep tgat intensity of emotion. Experience it as Preety with that mindset that identity at that time and place, not as now with new information. That also works good especially with childhood traumas. Now after a while what you will experience is feeling relieved. There will be bliss in your swadishtana and manipuraka. Energy from depth will reach your body. If you do this consistently then you will see there will be even lesser subconscious reaction to the next encounters. Or use it to become more fit and improve your eating habits, exercise routine, health, and mental fortitude with this technique. I tend to respond with more action when I am treathened. Just like Obama said: "Our enemies keep us on our feet." Good luck! I might start a journal based on this technique, it is called the completion process or samskara dahana kriya or smth like that.

Yes, that's the point. Doesn't matter how that realization comes about. Cessation is not necessary, it's just one way -- and sometimes rather than providing the realization, cessation just becomes a nice toy that one can use to experience the bliss wave that comes after it.