Search the Community

Remembers are thoughts and are the ego, so it impossible that you remember anything before the ego. The question is, what is you without ego? It's the awakening I think Let's see, for now I have to agree, I had realizations but not a true awakening. When I realized the nothingness, was only nothingness, but many people had very different experience. I think 5 meo could be the tool, but not smoked like I use, too short

If you never learn that what is a thought, body, universe, life, existence, yourself or awakening, what would you be? Answer is you would be already yourself. Anything you have learned is an illusion, even the word of “illusion” is an illusion. So where were you before the birth? Answer is you were already yourself thats why you don’t remember. Because “remember” is something that you have learned. Unfortunately, imo, psychedelics cant help you to awaken, you can experience nothingness, but you wont be able to grasp awakening. Because when you consume psychedelics you are considering the thought that you have a body and you are inside of it. You will be nothing rapidly and come back the egoic self.

If your mind stops, nothingness manifests. it's pretty obvious right? With your mental "movement" you are creating this reality, space, time (or re-creating, it doesn't means that there only exist in your mind, but for you it is). So when your mind stops you perceive that all space-time reality is an illusion. nothing magical for now, simple mechanics. the question is how that nothing has the potential to produce that thought. You say that it is not the nothingness, is me ... ah yes, but it happens that I am nothing, as I came from the nothingnes, then? As leo is not around here, I am going to say what he would say: kill yourself with 30 mg of 5meo in your nose or in your ass . For me it's a good advice, maybe for you too

During my psychedelic experiences I had similar feelings and visions,. Mine was mostly seeing a lot of fractals and some distortions. I suffered derealizations and felt like I was leaving my own body through my extremities. The body felt like a prison and reality felt like a mask placed on a matrix. Life looked infinite, there was no presence of time and people looked one, a single entity being divided into so many units.. At some point there was fear, at some point it was blissful like the cosmos is all nothingness. It felt like liberation but it wouldn't last long.

Nothingness is not doing something or creating thoughts. So called you creating them with so called thinking. But, you, thinking, perceiving, illusions are just thoughts. Additionally, even thought is not a thought it is so called thought. It has no name, because it is nothing. Everything is so called exist because “you” named and labeled it as naming and labeling your labeling yourself as “you” , thoughts as “thoughts”. Nothing is happening. Actually even word of “nothing” is something, therefore it has no name, but it is you.

I chewed and swallowed 1 gram of Magic Mushroom at 4:30 am. Then I sat on a Chair and started Meditation in my room. It was not deep meditation. I was just switching between meditation and open eyes so I can notice if there are any changes in my experience. After almost 20 minutes suddenly I started to Hear a Clear Sound of Silence (Beep with 528 Hz Frequency) like when we go higher on Mountains or airplanes. And the sounds of my surroundings became secondary. I became more present and started to feel distortion in my body particularly in the face. I was feeling confused and was not sure if these experiences are my misunderstandings or I am actually feeling all this in reality as a psychedelic experience. Now as my feeling was getting intense I started to get a feeling of fear as well. At 05:00 am I thought that what if I fell from the Chair I should go to my bed. So I turned on Meditation Music on speakers and went to bed and sat down there. Colors became more vibrant. I started to see blood veins in my hand. After a few minutes, I thought that this music was distracting me so I asked my Trip Sitter to turn off the music. And I felt that I should lie down at 05:15 am so I lay down. I was feeling that I am drowning in nothingness or void but I felt really scared so I was trying to resist this also and trying to remain in reality with my body. The reason for Fear was that it was my 1st Psychedelic/Spiritual Experience. There was dim yellow light in the room and I started to feel really congested. Negatively, like I am having difficulty breathing, I got an inner call that said go outside into nature so you can feel better and have different experiences with nature. By 05:45 am I asked my Trip sitter to help me to go to the terrace. I was able to concentrate and Focus on things and at the same time, I was confused also. When I came outside everything was very Fresh, Color Full, Vibrant, Bird's sound was really amazing, Echoes at the same time I was feeling like I am in High Fever, I was feeling High Temperature. I could See Clouds really clearly with different layers of clouds, I was able to see and focus in sharp, small details like Hand pores, etc.., Was feeling a little bit of distortion in objects, I was getting an inner call that let’s leave the steering of this body-mind and let me drive but I was scared to leave the control. At the same time, I was in the Happy, Giggling, and Laughing Mode. I was getting laughs and jokes on every worldly thing. I was laughing at everything like I am watching a real comedy movie. The whole universe was looking like a comedy and a dream as well. My language was also like a funny thing to me. The funniest thing was “Time”. I do not want to think or talk about time because it was the funniest thing in this universe. Because at that time here and now was the only thing that matters and I was sure that the Future and the past did not exist. I was getting inner calls that now don’t focus on this body and world because this world is a Funny Dream. Focusing on the world will cause you only laughter and nothing else. Leave this World, body, and mind and become 1 with nature or consciousness. But I had a feeling of fear and was trying to hold this Dreamworld. I was feeling Morphing in my body. Around 06:10 am my feeling of fear dissolved and I got an inner call that now I should get serious if I want to learn something new I was ready to go with the flow and was serious to learn, understand. Around 06:16 am I was feeling intense Joy, Calmness, Amazing, Freedom. I was feeling very trapped in the body like I am trapped in a very small thing and there is no oxygen and I wanted to come out of this world and body. I felt like birds were talking to me. I had a lot of compassion toward every being. There was a whole Universe or infinite Well or infinity in each cell, or atom, grain of sand, in everything. Focus on each object was sucking me into the infinity of that spec. There was infinity in each pore of my skin. Now I was looking at my body and all other things in a 3rd Person. Like VR Game Experience. My whole body was melting away. It felt like I have left everything but I am stuck at the back of my head. I was in total presence, I didn't want to hold on to thoughts and memories, and everything in each moment was perfect. There was Blind and infinite well in each thing, object or thoughts. In which well I was focusing on I was getting sucked into that thought or thing. I was not able to identify which sound is coming from where. I was getting aware of everything but was losing my sense of My Words and body. Everything was dissolving into nothingness. Everything was flowing like Air or River. Nothing was staying. Each moment was unique. I don’t want to talk about the previous moment. I was feeling distortion in Heartbeats also. Whenever I was laughing I felt like my mouth would morph into an infinite wide open. This body was feeling like a prison. Then my 2-year-old daughter woke up and came to me. I was amazed to see her. It was like I was looking at her for the first time. And she was looking cutest. There was a whole universe inside her eyes. I wanted to drown in the infinity of her eyes. For some time I enjoyed her cuteness and company and Now I want solitude so I can understand things more deeply. Sometimes my hands were looking like baby hands and sometimes it was looking like monster hands. Then I decided to go inside to enjoy a few things from the computer and for Meditation. I asked my Trip sitter to help me to go inside. And When I stood up I felt so amazed. It was like I am wearing VR Glasses and watching my body arms in the third person. My body was looking very small. But I was able to control my body and walk. When I came inside it was like I was looking at my home from inside the 1st time. The entry door of my room looked very small. I sat on my computer chair and started watching a few nature Pictures and I was getting sucked into those pictures. Then I Started to Watch the Documentary “Moving Art” on Netflix (Nature Documentary) and after just 5 minutes. I started to cry through my heart and there were tears in my eyes and while crying my feelings and thought was that I or He (God) is alone and has no one for the company to enjoy and these World objects, World Nature, etc..are the only Imaginations I have for my company. I or He (God) has nothing other than this dream and I had intense compassion and self-pity at that time. At that time I felt that Surah Ikhlas (Verses of Quran) is not just a surah it is a His Sad Story as well... Everything on the computer was looking very clear and sharp. Wisdom & Insights I got during this Trip: He is just exploring himself. He is infinite. Everything is him. He is happy and enjoying everything and wants us to just explore and enjoy. Enjoy the dream. Don’t take anything seriously. Then I thought I was wasting my time on the computer so I shut down the computer and came back to my bed and started Meditation. I closed my eyes and there were a few blurred and faded patterns. It was like there were infinite doors and He (God) was asking which door do you want to enter. Then I felt like laying so I get laid on the bed. Now I feel that my psychedelic experience is going to end so I thought now I should spend some time with my family. I came to my family room enjoyed the cuteness of my daughter for a bit more time than I thought I should watch myself in the Mirror so I got up and went in front of the mirror and I got really disappointed I was looking really bad and unhealthy and felt self-pity and asked myself that what have you done with this body which was a temporary gift to you. At 08:00 am I was back home from my trip.

This is the point. You (and me) can't perceive how the nothingness create a thought. The nothingness is doing something. Not something, everything. Only thoughts , illusions, but exist. I can't understand how this duality exist, I saw the nothing and the illusion many times ( there is not I, etc, yes I know but still you perceived). Anyone who went deeper is going to say that there is not duality, nothing=everything, but I can't understand. So more visits to the nothing, more time, more deep, are needed.

There is no you there, because you are exist as a thought and because of your monkey mind chanting to you. If that stops you become that nothingness because when your monkey mind stops how can you say “me”? When you say there is no me there, thats the monkey mind. There is no you because you are already that absence. Your monkey mind or thought process makes you separate than nothingness. Yes, unfortunately ego can not accept and face with it. Terrifying for ego. Ego hates surrendering, nothingness is completely surrendering. Whatever makes you happy brother! Have fun!

I think there is truth in what you say. If I do 5meo in a more or less high dose, I come to nothingness and it seems to me that I am on the ground of reality, but although it seems that there is no me there, there is a rejection of nothing. horror. even so when I return I perceive that in that nothing is the key, but I don't see where or how. I cannot accept it, it is absence, zero, death. I have to go back to that nothing until I can be that, it's something really scary

Because nothing is absolute. Definitely. ?Therefore i am saying that awakening is the must. Because no one can comprehend that nothing is nothing therefore absolute. Everyone needs a direct experience of nothingness to get out process of thoughts , which is pure consciousness. All is one, one is all. Yes, you are right. So it is impossible to explain to others that what is nothingness. Definitely is so beautiful. Thats what we are. We are all nothing, therefore identical. Therefore unconditional love❤️

I think I understand what you want to expressing, but why you use the name or adjective nothingness? It's not adaquate. Nothingness is a zero, being is something. Not material , or visible, but different than nothing

@James123 yes papaji said that, nothing, zero, absence of anything. But observe yourself. Are you nothing? Even the smallest thought is not nothingness. You didn't remember nothing before your birth because there are not remembers before. There was no time so nothing happens, no space so no shape. Seems like nothing. But the nothing is, if not , how a thought is being creating?

You can experience nothingness with psychedelics, but i dont think you can be awaken with psychedelics. I didn’t use psychedelics in my awakening and used 10 gram shrooms 2 years ago. There is so many steps to go after psychedelics. Yes i am sure. There is no coming back. Coming, going, ego, psychedelics, me, you are just thoughts. Of course i am an illusion as a separate self. These all sentences are identical, they are me and you. Because it is nothing, and nothing is absolute. Your entire life and duality is just a process of thoughts. When you get out of it, you will realize that whatever you have learned is something, but you are nothing, you can never be learned, can just be. Thats why you don’t remember before birth. These sentences are not explanations, they are you. If you consider them as explanations, yes they are illusions. All sentences are identical, because it nothing. Nothing has never happened. Because all there is nothing and all happening is nothing. ?? ☀️

Are you sure? Maybe you are stuck in that nothingness that you perceived with those 10 grs of mushroom. I had similar experience a couple of times but I think there is another step to do. When you come back to the illusion and the ego, how it is possible? Your explanation is that all is illusion, so it nothing, itsnt it? But it isn't, nothingness is nothingness, void, zero. No illusion, ego, nothing

Love how he turned our "nothingness" into a concrete matterr (nothingness because every other opinion is just bs... no superiority or anything. No hierarchy, therefore nothingness, universality. At least what I took from it...) I remember his latest two spiral dynamics videos to be excellent too (lots of awesome info there that I enjoyed, similar to the conscious politics series, with all its models and lists of ideas... grunt work that payed off beautiful haha.)

@Moksha Just nothingness.

Attempting to stop thoughts is attempting to re-condition the mind to stop itself from carrying out its function. You can try it, but notice the conflict created and never resolved. It pits the mind against itself, which is a battle, in the end, it will lose. What may be more advantageous is to bring into greater awareness the profound subtleties of mind, which include cerebral thought and emotional feeling. You could do a little research to understand the mechanisms and functions of these basic two aspects (i.e., cerebral brain versus hormonal brain) and how they interact as the mind-body organism and psychological self. It gets interesting. The "nothingness" you speak of is more likely the mind trying to "project nothingness" as a means of attaining something, when in fact, that's just a mind game. Mind is movement within the Nothingness that one already is, the Void (as Zenners call it). Mind wants nothing to do with that; it wants to maintain control, so it is very likely happy to assume that it understands this "nothingness", when in Truth, it can't.

No. Actually it's the contrary in my experience, since with a silent mind, your awareness for all occurring sensations is heightened. Oh but there's no difference between the breeze and nothing If the breeze is, then focus on the breeze. Try not to get too hung up on whatever it is that you call "nothingness".

Does the practice of shutting the mind ("think nothing" technique) mean you silence also your feelings and sensations? Let's say, for example, you are meditating outside when you start feeling a gentle breeze. Should you keep the focus on nothingness or move it to the breeze feelings?

Good, this helps me innerstand you a little more and appreciate your present state. Thanks for sharing. In the OP, you mentioned the following: "I have learned some valuable lessons all this years but some times i feel like is just to much for me. I completely understand why I am imaginary, why everything is just layers and layers and layers of imagination. I “understand” the nature of nothingness ( I grasp it with my whole being ), I understand why reality is nothing but perspective. I see myself most of the time in other people ( their voice, emotions, eyes, expressions, words they choose...) . I understand what love is ( it cured me). I have advanced levels of darkness, if I could call it like that , which have turned into a great artistic hunger?. I have embodied all this stuff. But sometimes I get some sort of backclash / fear about everything, a general terror about everything, dealing with day to day life could be fucking harsh, and everything could go away in an instant..." This leads me to believe you have done quite a bit of introspection, have been involved in a major shift of perspective (perhaps even attempted using a more disruptive approach), and now you want to start using music, a true lifelong love of yours, as a vehicle. Does that sound about right? Music can be used as an outward expression of an inner journey, and journeys are, typically, always about seeking. What you may be seeking could be considered the melody that weaves through the body of your work. That melody, in turn, might work to further harmonize the various aspects of a life you are examining, and making such a life worth living (thank you, Socrates). Some of what you are seeking can be "assumed" from what you have shared, but perhaps it is better if you express that in your own words. I sense that is why you have posted, and that's great. Maybe it's what you "understand" about nature of nothingness, and/or the attempt to grasp it with "your whole being"... not sure. So, here, please clarify.

So basically I want to share my crazy story with u guys, and hopefully you could guide me and give me some advice. I’m a 23 years old guy and I have gone through A LOT of changes in the last 5 years, from being a “successful” musician to a junky with some serious mental health issues, and now a student. I got into Leo’s videos about 2 years ago and since then I followed some of his advice (which of course helped me a lot). My “downfall” began about 4 years ago when I started to go to university (music university) and moved to a big city in my country. I started smoking pot which really was a transition drug for me ( ? classic story) and smoked daily for about 3 years, in about just 1 month after moving I tried for the first time LSD with some friends and I fell in love so hard with this substance ( I had about 10 trips in 2 months after that so I got a little bit experienced right from the start ?), obviously I was more attracted to substances than going to school so I dropped out in the first semester. After that I got ‘addicted’ to MDMA which I think has ruined my brain chemistry for a long time, I have done it consistently for 2 years. Just to mention That I had 0 knowledge and about this substances when I first moved ( my bad? ). After dropping school I started working shitty jobs and i worked till march 2020, but all I was doing in the beginning was paying my rent and buying drugs, it got worse in 2018 / 2019 because I was doing all kinds of dirty stuff to get some more money from my jobs just to buy drugs. I would go fucked up at work and work 12 h shifts 4/5 days a week. In the summer of 2018 the whole situation was killing me, my girlfriend have left to USA the whole summer and my depression got worse, in august I dropped out of my job just to take a brake but all I was doing was getting highly intoxicated. In that month I had about 5 trips of lsd and shrooms and a lot other things like MDMA, amphetamines.. but nothing could changed the way I felt (deeeeeply unsatisfied with myself and very paranoic). The last thing I did was a tab of Nbome ( sold as lsd ) which fucked me up forever, the strongest experience of my life (20+ hours tripping, I ll make a separate post about that) Which have resulted in a violent psychosis that lasted about one year ( I still feel like that sometimes ?). The good thing is that was exactly what I needed, after that I stopped doing anything ( weed, psychedelics, alcohol...) and I was sent completely into my mind, It felt very spiritual everything (although I had a very severe form of psychosis, thinking that I could read other people minds and they could read mine, telepathy, voices inside my head, suicidal tendencies) BUT THE THING THAT SHOOKS ME is that in this whole time I felt like I was guided by some force (obviously me) to save my life. This whole time I felt like I was 2 persons. I was completely down for almost a year and half, but I kept going to work, I started to go to university in October 2019 ( Digital Media ) and started playing again music and composing ( I have a fucking story to tell ??). In m march I moved back with my parents because school is online and I can say I healed a bit, ( I have never gone to therapy because I didn’t want to accept the fact that they would give me drugs beacuse of other drugs I took ? ). I’m pretty stable right now, I have some nice relationships with some very good musicians, I started teaching guitar to make some money and planning on moving again with my girlfriend. I want to mention that this is the first time I share my story with anyone so I’m a little bit nervous. I have learned some valuable lessons all this years but some times i feel like is just to much for me. I completely understand why I am imaginary, why everything is just layers and layers and layers of imagination. I “understand” the nature of nothingness ( I grasp it with my whole being ), I understand why reality is nothing but perspective. I see myself most of the time in other people ( their voice, emotions, eyes, expressions, words they choose...) . I understand what love is ( it cured me). I have advanced levels of darkness, if I could call it like that , which have turned into a great artistic hunger?. I have embodied all this stuff. But sometimes I get some sort of backclash / fear about everything, a general terror about everything, dealing with day to day life could be fucking harsh, and everything could go away in an instant... I have somked weed and had 2 little doses of shrooms recently but I was not feeling ok... maybe the doses were to small. I would fucking love to do some LSD but I feel my mind is still to scattered, and it could turn bad. My biggest ‘fear’ is that I would not go schizophrenic, but it s more an irrational fear because I don’t have symptoms. Thank you guys and Leo!

@Corpus thanks for all good info and advice. very helpful. Yeah.. tell me about.. 5 years ago accidentally overdoes 2cb. I Didn't even know what I was about to snort and asked for the big fat line Experienced the scariest and traumatic experience followed by ego death and merging into the black void. The total piece, nothingness. Completely transformed my life. Not sure if this life-time will be enough to actualise! However, I'm very careful about my trips now. I do them thoughtfully and loveingly.

What is reality like? God, consciousness, awareness, You, are the infinitesimally thin film, with colours constantly shifting around. The bubble show started from nothingness itself; one uniform colour with no structure, that is non-duality, that is nothingness.

I wanted to post a status update for you all. I'm doing a little better. Actually I'm doing pretty well compared to how I was these past couple of days. I decided to watch this youtube video (attached at the bottom; let me know if that's against the rules or something). Summarizing in my own words: it claims you don't exist and that finding nothingness will free you from your thought/ego/suffering. And for whatever reason, its resonating with me. I'm just sitting here doing my best to defocus on nothingness, and my mind / sense of self is quieting. And all my suffering is slowly fading. That being said, the more I think and type the worse I feel. So I think I'm going to take a step back from this forum for a bit and just focus on this new path. I am still curious to hear what you all have to say, so feel free to respond and I'll come back when I'm ready. But until then, I wish the absolute best for all of you. And I mean that, I really do. Lastly I want to let you all know that I had very little faith that this community would help me. I imagined you all being these super high conciousness ego beings who wouldn't give two shits about my sob story. But instead I was shown compassion and support that literally brougt me to tears (and I didn't cry at the end of Toy Story 3). Thank you so very much each and every one of you, I love you, and good night.

He says that realizing God is yet just another stage of awakening, and that we shouldn't stop there and try to go beyond. He says next state is after realizing you are everything and God, you work on realizing you are nothing. Not even nothing. And then dissolve into reality. Then he says even beyond is realizing that reality is beyond being and non-being, beyond perception and non-perception. edit: tho i'd say you if you can do the nothingness thing then you will simultaneously be conscious that you are everything and also nothing. I think he said that in the video as well.