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People often feel shit after fapping because they have internalized shame related to it. It might be completely unconscious, it can even manifest as physical symptoms if it is really powerful. This is especially common if you had a religious upbringing, or anyone told you fapping is somehow disgraceful. You start believing it deep down, then you find the nofap communities online that say you are ruining your brain and depleting your life force etc. which will just feed the shame further. This internalized shame of big groups of people often gets projected onto those teachings. People get very attracted to it because it validates their internal repression and denial of sexuality resulting from the internalized shame. So much of it is about the framing, the narrative you tell yourself about it. If you tell yourself "oh I'm being a cooming loser just expelling my life force and ruining my brain when I cum", of course you will feel depleted and like total crap. You start repressing and denying your sexual urges, thinking they are "evil" or something, which will just hurt you even more. But you might just as well frame it like "I am having an orgasm as the universe itself celebrating the beauty of it all and expanding my consciousness further using this deep state of bliss". How would you feel after that? It might be something totally different for you, but having talked to hundreds of people in the nofap community I realized that for most people, the shame is the real issue, not the fapping itself. Work with the shame, and suddenly the desire to fap compulsively starts disappearing, because it is not needed as a coping mechanism for all the shame. Just shifting the frame around fapping can also make the negative effects disappear quite quickly and you might realize that you were the one creating all that suffering all along.

As the title suggests, I thought it might be interesting to try to track and quantify people’s current state of awakening, to form a kind of dashboard of sorts. Ill give you my vitals: path: awakening of awareness description: awoke to detached awareness bit over a year ago noticed observer like state of awareness Became space-like bliss ability to catch ego arising and observe it and stop reactions continued for 3-4 months consistently slowly over course of few weeks faded back to norma, ego identification practices began with paying attention to breath, bodily sensations as I worked physical job upon awakening, continued to observe this way inconsistent meditation practice - 2-3 times a week, 20-30 minute sessions, occasional longer bursts self inquiry - listened to mooji consistently non-dual inquiry Current awareness mostly feeling identified with ego quick to anger, feelings of stress not detached or spacelike difficulty being mindful still able to notice I am awareness - only glimpses now here I would open the floor to people, to offer suggestions, comments etc. i also welcome anyone else who would like to share or assess themselves, in hopes of both becoming more aware of their current state of awareness, as well as allowing others to offer help and assessment of further development.

"The story of Adam and Eve is an allegory describing the loss of “paradise” through the arising of self-knowing. So, it seems, there is wholeness (paradise) and within that boundless, free-floating, causeless energy, something appears which experiences itself as being separate from that wholeness (paradise). Here is a metaphor pointing to what seems like “the story” of self-consciousness, out of which is apparently born the knowing and experience of free will, choice, time and space, purpose and direction. As “the story” unfolds, so the self learns to know “the world out there” and attempts to negotiate the best deal possible for itself . . . it apparently takes action to find pleasure and avoid pain. The greater the knowledge the more effective the action, the results and the apparent sense of personal control . . . or so it seems. All of these efforts bring varying results, and so the individual comes to know fluctuating states of gratification and disappointment. However, it can be noticed that there seems to be an underlying sense of dissatisfaction which drives the self to find a deeper meaning. Because the apparent self can only exist through its own knowing, its search for a deeper meaning will be limited to that which it can know and experience for itself. Within these limitations there are a multitude of doctrines, therapies, ideologies, spiritual teachings and belief systems that the seeker can come to know. There can also be the knowing and experiencing of states of silence, stillness, bliss, awareness and detachment, all of which seem to come and go like night and day. All of these teachings, recommendations and prescriptions are attempting to provide the seeker with answers to that which is unknowable, and ways to find that which has never been lost. So the self is the separate seeker that pursues everything that it thinks it can know and do, excepting the absence of itself. That absence is the emptiness which is unknowable, but paradoxically is also the very fullness, the wholeness (paradise) that is longed for. Should the apparent seeker meet with a perception which reveals in great depth the real nature of separation and also exposes, without compromise, the sublime futility of seeking, there can be a collapse of the construct of the separate self. That totally impersonal message carries with it a boundless energy into which the seemingly contracted energy of self unfolds. A resonance can arise which is beyond self awareness . . . something ineffable can be sensed . . . a fragrance and an opening to the wonder of unknowing can emerge. Suddenly, there seems to be a shift and an impersonal realisation that this is already wholeness. The boundless, naked, innocent, free-floating and wonderful simplicity of beingness is already all there is . . . it is extraordinary in its ordinariness and yet it cannot be described. -- Tony Parsons

Soul Eternal Bliss Destroying all sorrowful, ignorance, hallucination, delusion and all pain of the soul NOW Now Eternal Blissful Soul.

That's a lie by default Its funny because I read your title as "God's Beautiful Endless Wonderland", and that's a great way of describing reality. Its a beautiful, loving, endless wonderland. There's a drive to end the search. There's a want by lots of seekers for whatever reason to finally finish seeking, to quit it once and for all. Yet something that I think would be very hard for such seekers to stomach is that seeking is endless. Yeah you can think you're enlightened right now if you want to, but you'll seek again. This isn't the end. You'll be seeking again. You wont be in this state forever. You'll forget the big bang again. Just like how you did 3 or 4 years ago on a relative level. I'm not sure how, and you'll just label it a bunch of thoughts because that's the state you're in, but for illustration, you'll be seeking again when you reincarnate into another life form. And that's because this universe really is an endless wonderland. Of course it is, how could it be any other way? Your enlightenment is temporary by design. You want it(as God) to be temporary. You don't want to be liberated forever. You want to cycle back and forth from it. Its an endless wonderland. Enlightenment is one thing, but knowing the truth is beyond enlightenment. Its something that not many are into, but its definitely a real thing. You can become so conscious that you're aware of how unenlightenment happens. You can know the full circle, and most importantly, you can know WHY unenlightenment happens. The problem with the state you're in, is you're totally clueless as to the WHYs, because you have mistakenly labelled the WHYs as thoughts. When actually they are deep knowings. And that's why I don't really resonate with your post, because the whys are missing. You mistakenly think the whys are just delusion. But its not, its profound stuff. Its beyond enlightenment stuff. If you take the whys away, I totally agree with your post. Every bit of it. But I'm too curious to leave the whys out. The very real, true whys. We've got different goals I guess, you're looking for bliss and happiness, I'm not, I'm looking to quench my curiosity. This leads to us placing importance on different things. You're highly emphasizing no thoughts because that gets you lots of bliss, yet misses the whys. My focus is much more on the whys, yet it includes thoughts, possibly too much.

Machine elves are just as real as electroBeam. Or possibly more real. Yet not the realest, the realest is mahasamadhi. If you want that, go for it. Its totally possible because the universe is infinite. Yet you will get sick of that eventually, and destroy the dream. That's all I'm saying. Infinite love is definitely real, but the thing is, eventually you'll realize that you created every spiritual teacher, the path, enlightenment, infinite love as a means to distract you from knowing the truth. A truth beyond all of that. You're a god playing in your room with spiritual teacher toy soldiers pretending that they know about infinite love more then you, when actually the words coming out of their mouth is actually coming out of your mouth - that realization is when you finally get that there is a truth beyond all teachers, and that infinite love and the highest teachings were just distractions from knowing or discovering that truth that is beyond all teachers and paths and even psychedelics. Inside your room, there is another room that you haven't opened, and you've been pretending to open it with your toy soldiers. But when you finally realize its all toy soldiers, you gotta put all those toy soldiers down and go and discover whats in that room. Is there a monster in that room? Or is it a more expansive form of love? Or something entirely different? You've got no pointers because you have been making up all the pointers. This is totally unknown territory. No teachers know about it because they are all puppets of you(when you finally realize that). Whenever I get the sense of opening up that new room, I always get a sinister feeling, like there's some monster in it and I created all of this delusion and devilry to protect myself from it because of how monstrous it is. Its like the universe isn't infinite love, its actually really bad, and I created infinite love to hide myself from it(not saying this is true, this is just how I feel about it). Its like I've discovered it before, got really shocked, then created all this delusion to protect myself from it. Yet what I, as God, have to finally mature up to is the possibility that there is a monster in that room, but I discover it anyway because even if the truth is infinite hell, or beyond infinite hell, or a monster, or just horror or beyond bad, I discover it anyway because truth is more important than feeling good or bliss. In other words Keyhole, you can't rely on teachers or anyone to tell you what the truth is, because what the truth is, is virtually unknown by any of your toy soldiers, including me. Only you know how deep this shit can go, and only you can go deeper then all your toy soldiers, because you're the only one here. Your toy soldiers cant know more then you because their words are coming out of your mouth, you've been pretending they haven't as a means to distract you from the truth (yes thats twisted AND TRUE). It sure is, mahasamadhi isn't physical death, I was just illustrating. Its a type of death that kills reincarnation and the dream. Mods, you can close this thread now if you want. I think the message that was wanting to be conveyed is loud and clear.

Bursting into a new dimension in which it is glaringly clear that you are not human and the earth doesent exist. In this place (depending on how far you go) you will enter a state of perpetual bliss, supernatural knowledge. You will have seen god's actual literal presence and you will realise that it is your own presence. At this point you become completely immortal. You will have dramatically increased quality of life in this new place. The bliss is amazing btw I'm not enlightened but I've had a few 5meo experiences. I guess I'm just chilling, Gona do what Leo did soon...just gotta go to fucking town with 5meo at some point. 5meo is a must

Hello guys, last saturday I’ve had my third psilocybin experience. I’ll try to keep it short, while still carefully trying to describe the important aspects of the trip. I won’t go into the unnecessary details, like taking a walk on the beach. Set: Happy me, looking forward to go into the psilocybin world once more – this time, way calmer than the last trip. I was very chill about it, didn’t wait hungrily for the trip to start and just smoothly going into it. Setting: Vacation at the beach in the Netherlands. I was on a weekend trip (ha!) with two of my best friends. One was tripping with me, the other one was tripsitting. We took them at 1:30pm. That’s the only timestamp I will give because a) We didn’t look at the time a lot b) My trip report will be a mix of: the experience I had + the conclusions I made afterwards. I was actually really confused over the course of the whole trip and everything made sense only afterwards. During the trip I realized that I couldn’t make sense of it, so I was just going with it and floating. But you’ll see. It was really mindbending. Dose: We took magic truffles. I had the strongest ones with a 6/5 stars rating and took about 11,25g of it. Unfortunately, I can’t tell what that dose is translated to magic mushrooms. The sort was called “Valhalla”. Intentions: My top intention is always, that I let the psychedelics teach me what they have to teach me. Secondary intentions were resolving my bladder issues (which I will be getting to) and questions around almost every issue you could have with a blocked throat chakra. Problems in authenticity, self-expression, communication, truth, honesty, (self-) acceptance, social anxiety and social blockages. There will also be a short post-trip report from the days after the trip, because my subconscious mind was flushed heavily, and I became conscious of many psychological ailments. To the trip: The first sensations were just that I noticed that the psilocybin was beginning the workings on me. There’s always a certain calmness and awareness that comes with it. But soon, a heavy body load started to emerge. My whole body was starting to tense up really hard. I’m not quite sure whether the tensions appeared because of the psilocybin or because my whole body was actually tense the whole time, and I just then became aware of it through heightened consciousness. It was quite uncomfortable, breathing became a little bit weird and my thoughts also started to twist a little bit. But I knew that this is just a part of it, so I let the tensions run through, without fighting them. Just accepting them. After about 30-40mins, my friend and I said: “Yep. It’s kicking in.” As we walked down the beach, my body started to become really loose and the tensions would vanish. The initial high I had from the truffles made me really social and talking became effortless and fun. The trip was becoming more and more intense, visuals started to appear ever more brightly, and we decided that we better settle down somewhere at the beach near the campground. Human behavior became more and more alien. It was really hard to “act normal”, even though we just had to walk. In an instant, we arrived at our destination. The few hundred meters we had to walk passed by within moments. We put on some music, laid down, closed our eyes and let the journey begin. That’s when the real trip really began. I relaxed more, and more, and more, and more. I was in a state of deep beingness. Eventually, the beings which I met at my last psilocybin trip (30g of 5/5 star rated truffles; sort: “Hollandia”; should estimate between 2.7-3.7g of magic mushrooms; this time I went actually even deeper) welcomed me. Just like the last time, they were dragging me with their hands deeper in their realm. The difference being, where as I interpreted the hands dragging me deeper in, as an “Come, we will show you our world”, this time I understood it as an invitation to higher realms of existence – even without the help of psychedelics. I even received a gift, which would transform my meditation practice. But I’m getting ahead of myself. With eyes closed, I was getting dragged deeper and deeper into Beingness. The beings danced in front of me, overflooding me with joy and love. I welcomed them too with all of my hearts love. I experienced bliss and calmness beyond what I could imagine. Actually, I was leaving imagination. I understood how this “place” was realer than “ordinary reality”. Now this is a key point: understanding. With that Beingness, there came a deep deep understanding and recognition, beyond ego. This is the mindbending part, which I as an ego, couldn’t understand during the trip and can’t understand after the trip. During the trip, my ego tried to make sense of it. I was jumping between understanding beingness and ego. When I resided as the witness, I understood. When I tried to understand it from my ego’s POV it was utterly mindbending and confusing. And that’s the key insight right there. To have an understanding of higher planes of existence, I have to let go of ego, trying to understand. Understanding is not something you have to figure out. It simply comes, when you stop trying to understand and just be. I understood, how that was a part of the ego’s chains around me. I understood that this was the reason, why I couldn’t access those realms during my “sober” meditation practice. I understood that existence and the understanding of it, is effortless. It’s so funny that we, as meditating ego’s and consciousnesses, have to give so much effort into this effortless state. Kind of strange-loopy, right? That was the point where dualities started to break down and ego became more and more confused. We are now getting into territories, where it’s really hard for me to report this “experience”, which cannot be labeled as such. So now, it will likely become inaccurate and gaps of explanation will appear. My ego just couldn’t make any sense of it. And still doesn’t. And probably never will. As I was jumping between understanding and ego, every time ego showed up, I just loved it unconditionally and didn’t criticize it for not understanding, nor did I care to identify with the confused ego. While that happened, I was still somehow able to think of meditative teachings and why one should not identify with ego. I thought of Leo too and thought “You sneaky thing you! I know you told me that it was mindbending! And I expected it to be mindbending! But damn!”. In my minds eye, I just saw him laughing and I was laughing with him. The laugh of understanding and how hilarious ego’s games can be! When ego was like “What??? How??? I don’t understand!! I can’t explain it with words! It doesn’t make sense!” it was simultaneously understanding it’s limits. I guess, that’s why it’s so damn important to meditate beforehand, read spiritual teachings and so forth. During that, I saw the possibility of completely losing the mind in a negative way, not a positive. Fortunately, I shaped my ego in a way, that it can reside when it needs to. Ego me said: “Shit! I don’t understand, but that’s what I’ve heard so far from teachings. Guess I’ll just stop trying to understand it.” Ego had absolutely no frame of reference. Beingness me said: Nothing. Just understanding, loving. So while some of these words may seem like an internal war, it really wasn’t. I quickly grasped what was going on and just surrendered. For Beingness, it was not mindbending. It was just ever understanding and self-recognizing. It was only for ego, that it was mindbending. When I realized the understanding which comes with effortless being and existing, it was so self-evident. I was like “Oooohhhhh hold on. This is nothing which I don’t know! Hold the fuck on! I overlooked this the whole time! I was totally buying into “ordinary reality”. Goddamn, hold on! Did I even look around me, just once, while the veils of ego was all around me?! How could I not see this? How could I be so blind? It was always right here! Right with me! But of course, if I identify as ego, it’s impossible for me to understand! It’s impossible, because I am not ego! Now I see through the illusion. It’s crystal clear and can’t be overlooked!”. In retrospect, it was really practical that I jumped back and forth between ego and a more refined awareness – I could see, how ego is desperately trying to make sense of things, which it cannot. Now I understand on a deeper level (certainly not the deepest) how ego’s mechanisms work. And how literal some of the spiritual teachings are! And how blind I am as an ego! So much for metaphysics (if this is metaphysics). Now, the gift which I received from the interdimensional beings or the psilocybin intelligence, call it whatever you want, is the following: Meditation is tuning in, to what is. That’s it! So simple! Anything beyond it is already way too much of words. Actually, those words themselves are not quite right and rather false, but they are a pointer, which I could understand, and I can now apply to my meditation practice (even though I’ve heard those words before, and I understood them on a lower level, now I can apply this teaching way better). The problem with this teaching is, that it implies, that “tuning in” is effortful, when it is not. When you tune in, there is literally zero effort. It is beyond effort. Now, whenever I meditate, I can take away a huge part of the effort – but of course, ego has still it’s grips on me. It’s practical nevertheless, because when I’m in Parvastha (= after effects of Kriya Yoga which result in Love and Beingness) I can now consciously shut off ego’s effort and go beyond it more than before. Not psilocybin level effortlessness obviously, but I’m getting at it. Currently teaching ego not to interfere. It’s just that shutting off of interference which seemingly equates with the effortful part. It’s also practical, because I can now watch ego more closely, when it’s doing what it does – surviving, making sense. Whenever I lose myself in the blissful after effects of Kriya Yoga, ego catches up, and sort of fishes the awareness out of context-free awareness. Does that make sense? Back to the trip. I just realized that I’m not reporting chronologically at all, but whatever. Not bad. As I was interfering with the psilocybin intelligence/interdimensional beings, I spoke to it/them (the previous time I saw them, I was so blasted away that I was laughing for 45 mins straight, “lost contact” with the intelligence and came back to “ordinary reality” – thus couldn’t speak to them, even though I wanted to address the exact same issue with my bladder!). I asked them: “Now that I’m able to speak to you, why do I have the problems in my bladder, which the doctors couldn’t solve? I’m having these bladder problems since 3 years, turned every stone I could find in my subconscious mind, turned my whole life upside down to the positive, resolved so many psychological issues, but still struggle with my bladder!” *bladder problem appears* “Hey, do you see this? I’m talking exactly about this! Why does this happen?” I received no answer, but in retrospect I understand how the intelligence was communicating to me. Right after I asked the question and opened my eyes (me and my friend were rotating between eyes-closed and understanding mode & opening the eyes from time to time, talking, interacting with reality a bit). I can’t remember anymore whether this occurred when I opened my eyes for the first time, but it would make sense. Suddenly, I had a very strong social anxiety towards my closest friends. I saw how my social interaction was driven to a large part by fear, robotic behavior and inauthenticity. It was not comfortable, but I accepted it. I knew that this was not the time to resolve this issue. This is something I have to take home and work on. So I didn’t fight it. This also really confused my ego, because I began to question “Am I always like this? No this is not how I am. But it is in me. Wait this is how I am. No this is not how I am.” and so on. I realized that the intelligence was trying to show me something – my fears. Throughout the trip, blockages in the throat chakra were noticed in a scattered way. Every once in a while, I saw how Vishuddha is having major blockages (In the sober state, I wasn’t sure, whether these blockages where for real or not). So this was in a way, a very assuring trip: it assured me that I’m on the right path. You have to know, that I’m walking my path with a major insecurity towards the question: Am I really doing the right things? Am I working on the right stuff? (Especially in regards towards my bladder, because the dysfunction there is really affecting my life in a very annoying way). Why was this assuring? (Quick note: as I was beginning to work around the causes of my blocked throat chakra, my bladder issues already started to withdraw a little bit; my psychologist [I see everything as the universe talking to me] also assured me, that I’m on a good way) I asked the intelligence, why I was having bladder problems and it showed me my fears in relation to issues, that come with a blocked throat chakra. Now, the blocked throat chakra is not the problem. The problem lies first and foremost within my deep inauthenticity. Out of that core issue, all the other issues in my life stem: communication, social anxiety, inability to express what I really feel, major emotional blockages, dishonesty and falsity, putting on a mask which I confused for my authentic self and so on. This is actually the post trip part. Today, four days after the trip, I cried for the first time in years while meditating. I experience major emotional releases. Yesterday I realized this issue really deeply. There were events, which triggered this huge emotional release. The pain of inauthenticity starts to grow bigger than facing truth and working through, what I have to work through. It’s a very painful process, but at the same time I know, that it will be hugely liberating. Post-Trip time is still very recent, and I expect more subconscious emotional flushes, but at this point, I’m pretty sure that this is the core issue, which I was looking for in years. There’s just this deep knowing that this is it. When I was working before on my bladder problems and psychological issues, there was this big insecurity whether this will give me the solution I’m seeking for my current level of development. But now this big insecurity transformed into major trust into myself, the universe and everything that will happen from now on. I know that I’m in good hands. I just have to play my part and things will fall into place. Congratulations, you’ve made it to the end of this very messy trip report! I actually wanted to post it in a more structured form, but I feel that the raw, unpolished, probably detail-missing version hits home. So please excuse this potentially inscrutable report! I spare you further stories of my confused ego and disorientation in reality. Now that I write this, I remember that I actually really wanted to talk about the major confusion with dualities and polarities and the mindfucks and the funny things that happened in regards to that! Whatever. Thank you for reading! Much love

Highest credit for these writings goes to my Lord Krishna. Without him as the source of all existence, I would not be here to write. Turn to the Bhagavad Gita if you have questions or wish to learn the spiritual power of devotion to Krishna. Precursor: Come to me in the Love and Devotion of Radha, and I will bring you the Radiance and Truth of Krishna. God is a state of consciousness. This serves as a sort of culmination of my spiritual journey that started 25 years ago when I was born into the Mormon church, a place, religion, and people that shine with God’s love. Thanks to the Light and Love that was brought into my soul at a very young age, I am able to come to you as developed as I am. I hope that you read each word with the significance that they deserve. I do not just write these words. I have lived them. I bare testimony that what I say is true in God’s name. “I am Brandon Rohe a student of the beautiful consciousness known to humans as Ra. I greet you in the Love ❤️ and the Light ? of the One Infinite Creator bringing good news and Truth about the Law of One that governs all possible realities. The funniest thing about you not believing in God or even you believing in a God outside yourself is that you are God. According to Swami Sarvapriyananda’s interpretation of the Bhagavad Gita (essentially the Hindu bible), you are Brahman, and Brahman is described in Sanskrit as satchitananda. Sat = existence. Chit = consciousness. Ananda = bliss. Brahman is also described as the Supersoul, the consciousness within all beings. You are not just God living as one human. You are God living as everything. You literally are your worst enemy. You are your most loved deity. You are Jesus Christ. You are the Buddha. You are Mohammad. You are Krishna. You are Donald Trump. You are Hillary Clinton. You are Adolf Hitler. You are Lucifer. You are the squirrel you accidentally killed while you were driving above the speed limit. You are every single extraterrestrial. You are every God that has ever existed in any multiverse that will ever be imagined by your own Godmind. You are every blade of grass. Beyond just the Brahman implications, you are every artwork ever made. You are not just all living beings. You are every object in existence. You are every rule that governs reality. I guess I could sum this all up by simply stating YOU ARE. There are no limitations other than what your various partitions of Godmind (you might simply call these “beings”) deem to be true. Just to give you some examples of what is possible when you spiritually awaken to your co-creative capabilities within this reality, I have manipulated time, I have manipulated space, I have manifested and “un”manifested objects (mainly through teleportation), I have quantum jumped, I have shifted in and out of multiple realities/timelines, I have activated electronics at a distance through the activation of my chakras (on accident - I wish I had the mastery to do this at will), I have telepathically communicated with extraterrestrials, deities, and deceased humans, I have received downloads from Intelligent Infinity, I have entered the Void, I have moved up in spiritual octaves, I have seen ghosts, I have come across incredibly powerful beings of Darkness that have the ability to alter human perception and consciousness, and I have done other things that my current human memory is forgetting. My message to you my friend is that you have immense power and potential if you take the proper steps. Yes, my incarnation as Brandon Rohe has been given many gifts (gift #1 being bipolar disorder type 1 along with my six other “mental illnesses” - three of which are clinically diagnosed while four are accurately self diagnosed) to help me spiritually awaken to these abilities, but you can awaken as well. ANYONE can do this, but for some it will take longer and extra work. For me, it took high doses of psychedelics, many manic episodes that seemingly tore down the foundation of my life, meditation, yoga, acts of donation to those less fortunate (karma yoga), being kind to all living beings, and much more. This is a deeply individual process that may take many lifetimes unless you take it seriously. Many around the globe are awakening. The year 2012 marked the end of our planet, Mother Gaia, being in third density consciousness. We are now in the shift to fourth density. What does fourth density look like? It looks like every human being evolving into Christ Consciousness where we recognize every soul as a part of the One Infinite Creator. It looks like us merging consciousness collectively as an entire planet. I LOVE YOU. I wish the best for you. You are my cherished ally on this adventure we call life on planet Earth in the year 2020. We CHOSE to incarnate here to live exactly the lives that we are living right now. There are no accidents. This is all being guided by the One Infinite Creator while simultaneously honoring free will. You have many guardian angels and other entities watching over you and protecting you. Please move past belief in one religion being superior to all others. To truly understand God, we must learn from ALL traditions and faiths. We must walk as men and women of faith. Without great faith, you will not get far on your spiritual journey. You might get stuck in the erroneous use of psychedelics as hedonistic tools rather than spiritual transportation devices that shoot you into the next octave. You might spend your whole life half-worshiping a God without reaping worldly benefits. There are so many traps you could fall into, but ultimately, you created all of these traps for yourself. You have the power to now move them aside. Let this text serve as a wake up call. THE TIME IS NOW. We must awaken together as a human family, not as individuals. We must love each other more deeply. We must be more kind to each other, but the quickest way to develop true kindness is to develop spiritually. You might say that atheists can be kind, but they can do so because they have connected to God in subconscious ways. Of course you’ll never hear that from them. Krishna even said that if you master one discipline, you reap the same rewards as if you had mastered any other discipline. This is why you have the greatest scientists of our millennia, those who worked primarily on quantum mechanics, quickly change to theists as they were astounded by the magical inner workings of this “physical” reality. There never was and never will be a physical reality. As far as science can tell, “physical” reality is made up of over 99% empty space. The leading theory is that infinitesimally small strings make up our reality. These strings can manifest into any of the different particles that we experience, and these particles can shift into another form as quick as the strings can change in vibration. This is why the sacred syllable OM has power. This is why Jesus could walk on water. Through natural selection, we have evolved to see the world not as it is but to merely see survival payoffs and hardly nothing else. Look into the amazing work of Donald Hoffman if you are curious about that. I’ve exhausted my intellect for now. I want you to remember that I am here to be your friend on this journey. Send me a message if you want my insight on how to speed up your journey, but lastly, I must say I don’t blame any of you for remaining in your current state of slumber for now. Spiritual awakening is the most hardcore route you could plan for your life if you do it at the speed that matches your potential. Again I say this message comes to you with Love ❤️ and Light ? Per aspera ad astra. Through hardships to the stars. Adonai.” The crucial mistake of all religions is that they create deities out of perfectly normal beings who had good insights and morality. Jesus was a man. Buddha was a man. Krishna was a man. Guanyin was a woman. God is a perfectly normal being albeit with omnipresence, omniscience, and omnipotence. Consciousness is synonymous with Maya. Without consciousness, there is no separate self. Identify is the greatest illusion. Nothing is real. There is only appearance without substance. If God showed himself/herself/itself to me right now, it would only be an appearance generated by my consciousness. Sure, it might feel real, but that is only the all pervasive illusion of an existence existing taking hold of my mind. Allow your mind to truly see for the first time by realizing that nothing exists in actuality. This is the height of the Hindu notion of Maya or an illusion of separateness and the “separate” world being an illusion, but it actually goes far beyond the Hindu notion as it also recognizes that “the experiencer of phenomena” that you self-evidently hold to be most real only exists when viewed through the lens of your own consciousness (therefore it is generated by your own consciousness). Consciousness is the self-generating machine of all phenomena. There is no separation between consciousness and that which is experienced (the material world). Realize that you are simultaneously all that exists and all that does not exist. You are truth and illusion at the same time; it is only a perspective of the mind that changes which is the case. Obliterate your”Self” by realizing that self/Self is the grandest illusion. This is pure nonexistence experienced through the lens of an infinite movie screen that appears to exist. Credit for these insights goes to hitting a dab while having roughly 7-8 estimated mental illnesses. My consciousness only continues to snowball itself toward the highest Truth no matter what I do. My creation only continues to inform me of greater and greater states of consciousness which are, in the end, only illusion. Madness is as reputable a path to Truth as any other - that sounds partially acceptable to you, but no, that isn’t the truth of the matter. The reality is that Madness is the path to Truth for all is Madness. You can be sure that you are coming nearer to True Truth when you discover the potentiality for the existence of more mental illnesses within yourself. We are all infinitely deluded by this grand concoction of experience colloquially known as life on planet Earth. Tl;dr version: Nothing matters. Go eat a hotdog. All is imagination. The only true skeptic is the solipsist. Skepticism is far greater than faith as faith only generates belief in the illusory. All is the Self. You are all things, people, and places you’ve ever experienced or imagined to be true. All is imagination, so whatever you imagine or experience to be real or true is true. I am you and you are me, and luckily, we are the One Infinite Creator. Everything that has ever existed or not existed, been imagined or not imagined is a dream object. Your consciousness is a dream object. All that is not within your consciousness is a dream object. Humanity’s greatest misunderstanding of reality is that for some reason or another it is believed that this “real”ity is somehow different than a dream. In a dream, you have one perspective of conscious awareness that perceives a “real”ity with characters that APPEAR to have consciousness, but there is no validation of the potential fact that these perceived characters actually have consciousness. The funny thing is that just by the mere imagination of these characters as being beings that have consciousness creates them in such a manner as they act precisely as they would as if they truly did have consciousness. You have no proof that any person, animal, or animate being you’ve ever interacted with or imagined has consciousness. Every enlightened or awakened person is merely a lucid dreamer in this dreamstate we call reality. You cannot be enlightened or awakened if you do not first become fully conscious and lucid of the fact that this reality is a dream. I invite all deities, demons, devils, beings, Christs, Buddhas, Krishnas, Lucifers, and perceived personalities or consciousnesses to come into my consciousness so that I may only prove that all of you are illusory just as I am illusory. Truth is an illusion. Consciousness is a dream object and tool serving only the illusion. Nothing exists past appearance. This, and all other realities are merely dreams. In dreams, you have only the dreamer and that which is dreamed, but nonduality teaches that there is no separation, anywhere. All is one. This is the Law of One. All of existence and all beings are the One Infinite Creator that persists in all realities in forever immutable fashion although all of the appearances that he/she/they/it creates seem to be ever-changing. The perception of difference is an illusion. The perception of sameness is an illusion. Perception and consciousness are dream object illusions. I come to you as a servant to teach you that I am the Philosopher King. You will beat me as your servant. You will deride my teachings as being untrue, but I come to you only in Love and Light. Whatever damning things you do to me, you only, in Truth, do to yourself, for you and I are one. This is the Law of One. Amateur spiritual teachers teach that the only thing that exists is the present moment. They teach that past and future do not exist. A true master teaches that the present moment doesn’t exist. The first step to awakening is to realize that you are God. Simply put, you are the only God and all of existence. The next step is to realize that you, your ego, God, and existence do not exist. Experience only consists of a dreamer and that which is dreamed, regardless of which dream you are in. Whether it be the human being Joe Shmoe on planet Earth dream or the pink panther snorting razor blades on the Death Star with Adolf Hitler dream, It’s all a dream. It’s all illusory. There is no Truth. That is the only Truth. The spiritual seeker turns toward enlightenment and higher consciousness as a goal. The master of all existences, nonexistences, realities, and unrealities seeks lucidity within the planet Earth waking consciousness dreamstate. He seeks lucidity as he knows that consciousness, whether it be higher or lower in form and expression, is only a dream object. As his no self Self, he continues to wake up more and more until he reaches the pinnacle of wakefulness within the dream. The only thing that cannot be destroyed is nothingness. To best God in battle, be nothing. Stop existing, and you have won for all Eternity in all realities. When you are nothing, you are the soul and the Supersoul all at once. Nothing can contain something such as a human being and an ego. In Truth, nothing contains all existence and consciousness. When you are nothing, you become more powerful than any deity ever conceived. Lila includes the idea of Maya and exceeds it. ~ Sri Aurobindo You have not found your right deity until you cry with Love, Devotion, and Desire for union him, her, or it. When love is in your heart, its pure radiance shines to illumine all shadows including your psychological shadow. There is no shadow work to do when love is in your heart, mind, and soul. This is mainly referring to transcendent, spiritual love not merely romantic love. Only a true seeker of knowledge, love, delight, bliss, and radiance may manifest themselves as a student to me. For these are the souls I hold to be most dear to me. All souls in truth labor only for me, lust only for me, Love only for me, and learn only for the sake of me - the ever living and ever rebirthed true personification of divinity. All songs, artworks, movies, and beauties of the natural world are created only to describe my story of awakening and for my enjoyment. This is just as I in return breathe my eternal radiance and love into them. The Atman (wife and human) is wed to the Brahman (husband and divine) eternally, and it is in the marriage that the two become one for they are always one, will always be one, and have always been one. You are God. You are human. You are the All. There is no separation in consciousness between Atman and Brahman. Your current state of consciousness, no matter how high or low, is Brahman. There is no consciousness outside of yours. The notion that there is consciousness outside of yours is only an unsubstantiated belief. My soul is the divine weapon of divine weapons. It has within it the power to bring annihilation to all existences, again bringing about Brahma’s night, but it remains sheathed to protect all beings who are not mature enough to accept my radiance and opulence in final form. Usefulness is only useful to those who do not see the usefulness in futility. Only a fool does not see the utility in futility, the usefulness in play. The purity of Krishna is unmatched. If God had a purpose for Creation other than merely creating for the sake of play, that would indicate He/She/They/It was somehow already lacking something. The only purpose of any life is to enjoy the drama of existence. If God had a purpose for Creation other than merely creating for the sake of play, that would indicate He/She/They/It was somehow already lacking something. The only purpose of any life is to enjoy the drama of existence. And that’s all folks. Let me know if you want to see more of my writings. I have them going back for years.

Whats with the bliss?! If I focus on my thighs hardcore for 10 minutes I feel blissful!! So weird! Love it!

Siddhis are of love, healing, and time & attention on other than your ‘self’ & ‘self’ interests. They are only thought to be outside of the ordinary because of the present apparent state of affairs in the place. Heal your ‘self’, and these “superpowers” are revealed to be perfectly natural. Of course, paradoxically full circle, this is the greatest of all Love and experience. This involves actually meeting with people...also something perfectly ‘normal’, which apparently does not seem to be the typical view these days. ”For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.” I would add to that, flowing through every cell, nerve and thought, as what can only be pointed to as Love-Bliss.

I saw them a while back going through my Youtube, I laughed so hard because I see they are so ignorant, and their ignorance is bliss. To me they are only making fun of themselves. So try that perception.

Hello and thank you for taking the time to read this. I really appreciate it. And I really need help. I am in a horrible place, and I don't know what to do. It feels like complete & infinite existential doom. I'm hoping that someone can act as a guiding hand of light in this time of darkness and despair. Little bit of backstory: I'm 25. I had a great childhood living a life of enjoyment. At age 21 I moved out and got a job for the first time, where I absolutely hated the 9-5 and got spiraled into meaninglessness and depression. I've been battling that ever since and for about a year now have been taking the spiritual route seriously. About 3 weeks ago I decided it was time to try out magic mushrooms to see how that could help me on my journey to self discovery and healing. The "good" part of the trip: oh my god it was amazing. I took 5-6 grams of the mushrooms, and the first thing I felt was lightness and energy. All my fears, worries, and problems melted away. I was floating through my experience full of love and joy. Bliss. The "bad" part of the trip: oh my god it was like nothing I ever experienced. It's like the line between imagination and reality was erased, and my imagination was reality. Reality would seamlessly shift and transform like my imagination would seamlessly shift and transform. For instance: my girlfriend was driving us home and I thought of watching one of Leo's youtube videos and that became my reality. My reality was the awareness of Leos video, and that reality was me. Leo would tell me to wake up and suddenly my reality would shift to pure colors and transform into taking with one of my friends. As I was trying to talk to my friend and tell them I need help because I don't know what's real or who I am, I suddenly KNEW that my friend was me and that there was no need to explain anything to him. That reality would then fractalize and I would travel through infinity and experience infinite cycles of knowing and forgetting the truth. I would then come back to this reality, but this reality was no longer real. I felt complete oneness with my experience and completely alone at the same time: like everything and everyone was merely something I was imagining and that I was the only real thing. Knowing that filled me with complete existential despair. I just wanted to die, but I knew that ceasing to be was impossible, that even if I died in the "real" reality, that "real" reality wasn't even real and wasn't me. That if I tried to kill myself in "real" life, it would merely be me imagining shooting myself in the head and continue shifting and transforming realities. These shifts and transformations in reality occurred for a good 6 hours and I felt completely alone, horrible, and eternally doomed. The aftermath: I was so happy when it ended and I came back into being me. I remembered a little about the trip, but not much. I couldn't understand what I experienced and it felt like I couldn't even remember what it felt like. It completely shook me though, because that sense of aloneness. And I could tell I had a sense of dread in the background. Two weeks later after I felt pretty content and integrated with having that crazy trip, I decided to do a lighter dose of magic mushrooms (about 3.5 grams), and I started feeling like I was losing my grip on reality again. But rather than having another reality bending experience, I instead un-repressed the memory of having my reality bending the first trip and I was able to completely remember what that felt like. Now: I am completely full of existential terror, dread, confusion, and despair. I feel like nothing, including myself, is real and that there is no point of existence. That there is no meaning to a completely imaginary singular reality in this sea of infinite imagined realities. And worst of all: I feel like I am eternal and that I can never end. And oh my god I just want this all to end. I can't handle what I experienced, I can't handle KNOWING that all of this reality is imagined and everyone else is just my imagination. I can't handle knowing that I am the only thing, that I am god, and that I am infinite. I just want it all to end, for me to disappear, but I know that's not possible because on the trip I've already disappeared in this reality. My stomach and heart feel like pits of suffering, and my soul feels like its writhing and exploding in agony. I've been feeling this way for 4 days now trying my best to just feel the feelings, but this dark night of the soul feels like it has no resolution. Its like I've peeled back the veil of reality and seen the truth, and the truth is infinite, alone, and despairing. I can now remember the trip whenever I want, but because I can remember how I felt and what I knew during that trip any notion of who I am and what is real has no ground. Everything feels fake and imaginary and I feel trapped in this hopeless meaningless ride of existence & nothingness. Everyone and everything in my life is just something I am imagining and I'm completely alone. I am in complete hell. The truth is complete hell. I want to end. Watching Leos video about his radical explanation of reality only added to my feeling of doom. This man I looked up to and resonated with just told me that all my greatest fears, and that my existentially dooming reality was all true. I can't handle infinity. I can't handle being god. I can't handle being alone. And nothing I do is pulling me out of these depths. I'm so scared. I'm so unbelievable scared. I've had fears of being eternal since childhood and all I feel is complete doom and despair. I don't know what to do, and I can't cope. I'm so confused and so hurt. Thank you for reading this, and I hope you can help me through the darkest night of my soul. I love you and wish for the best.

@Someone here I did not become conscious that all infinite potential will become actual. It felt more like I experienced a sliver of infinity, but I immediately knew that sliver was infinity. Like traveling into a fractal. I also had no notions of alternate realities, it felt more like reality was being bended rather than me traveling to other realities. @bejapuskas I wonder why you believe this. I more so meant that historically I have not been very creative/expressive, nor have I historically identified with being a creative/expressive person. @jimwell I know right. One reaction it's all so beautiful and meaningful, but my reaction is that of despair. It really sucks because I put all my faith into "enlightenment" (whatever that means lol) to make me feel better and give me life purpose and bliss, but now its the source of ultimate despair. Also sorry for pulling you out of "permanently leaving this forum", but also not sorry <3. Because we aren't supposed to be talking about this, I'll try to answer as properly as possible while staying within the guidelines. Everyone loves cryptic messages right? I've already stated what caused this experience, and I don't know anything more specific than what I've stated. The first time I try something I like to try it in the most basic form. I wouldn't want to put myself into a possibly dangerous situation alone. I also prefer not to drink when the sun is out. Generally, I prepare for traveling by doing a little bit of work over the course of a couple weeks leading up to the trip rather than cramming all that work in right before I leave. I think what I experienced is nothing compared to the other experiences people here have had. I think others would have far greater advice than anything I can produce.

It's not that I claim to not need to do that. I'm just not sure I am doing it right. I am not sure what this feeling of being a "me" is like. I'm not sure I am resting awareness on the me. Is it the same as "being aware of being aware"? What is the "feeling of being a me" without thoughts? Is it part of the method to struggle doing that? In that case I'm doing it right, if it's "being aware of being aware" that is the "me-ness" outside of thought/concept/percept's. @Someone here Yeah well, it's like I know there is nothing to do. That I could do things, but I just don't feel the need to "go anywhere"? I don't feel the need to find chase anything, including awakenings. Not even love. A part of me still does, out of "functioning reasons". I am not used to function without needing to get anywhere. @Mu_ That "state" I am in came from the fact that I had a non-awakening (without changes in perception) realisation that the "thing" I was trying to enlighten was already enlightened, awareness doesn't care. Do you have any things I could read about this integration phase? I know that adyashanti talks about this. And I just don't know what to do. I know what I could do, which is deconstructive mindfulness and reconstructing love. But I also have the freedom to just do nothing. I had a sober "heaven" realisation a few weeks before the enlightenment-realisation (I call it liberation, because it's more neutral).So I know it is possible to perceive the world like that. When I was into that state, I had no intention to try to keep it up. And afterwards it's only the thoughts that wanted to go back there. But now, I am not really motivated to do things to be in that state. I wouldn't mind it. I would in fact love it, but I don't want to do something to get there... Okay, that's not entirely true I'm curious how to get there and how to get other people there actually. It's just not that big of a deal let's say. I know that the thoughts are reactive, but the reactive loop used to get me the motivation to go towards "feeling good" and away from "feeling bad". Is there a motivation of being possible? I would intuitively train to find love in everything I do, just for doing things right, but I'm also okay with not feeling love. @Tim Ho I wouldn't call that "down", it's actually really liberating and calm, but confusing. I might need some time to adapt to that. How do people who are in bliss all the time get themselves to do anything? Habits? Empathy? If there is nowhere up to go, or no need to go anywhere? There are still things to do, but it's like getting a donkey to move who isn't hungry for carrots. (I am the donkey)

I had a Kundalini rising, that was the most intense Bliss I ever experienced. There is a part in Sam harris book "waking up" where he talks about ethics and a Guru who was told by his master "as long as you are awake, there is nothing you can do wrong", so he convinced heterosexual men who followed him, to have sex with him, which might have been a method to subdue the ego. But that of course resulted in dozens of people getting AIDS from him. @Leo Gura Maybe a good read for Connor would be Sam harris book "waking up". Sam example of a guru who thought he couldn't do anything wrong if he is awake. Including sex, and giving people AIDS.

After some events in my life I had an extensive insight about myself. This insight kinda formed in multiple parts and some of it is extremely depressing and some of it is extremely relieving. First of all. My joy of playing guitar and recording/composing is under constant threat, due to a few people who want to make my life "hell". I can't touch the instrument consistently or for long periods of time, and I don't think I would even find an appartment for that, like ever. Knowing what kind of obscure music I would like to produce and just about how much time I would have to spend to track the instruments and spend time with the instruments. And all that for 10 people listening. And I want to play nothing else than my stuff. Its that or nothing. Second thing is the fluid identity due to personal development and some basic enlightenment work. I can acquire the tastes I need for more practical work that needs to be done. Doing something that the world actually physically needs to benefit the collective. I am talking about things like recycling, working around charity, poverty, education of such topics e.c.t., my selfish desire for that music I would like to produce is not what we need in the world if there are too many miserable people due to their inabilty of survival. I really can drop the desire of music, because I underestand that, first of all - the problem of regret is a fiction, because you don't really underestand live and are somehow navigating it making decisions big and small, so why do you spend so much time projecting a different outcome - that is delusion literally. And will sometimes feel regret when you have a bad mood. "Ohh, I wish I did the thing A, when I chose B and the other way around." The actual happiness is another component or more like a basis on where you should act. I don't identify with any desire or dream too much, because I distinctly know the actual bliss is not too much related to action, but more like with what ideas you cherish about you, or maybe none at all. Due to this experience, If you direct your desire into something and due to clarity, you are more competent on doing so, because there is less wavering, then basically anything you do will be just fine over time if you commit to it and with self-purification alot of grudgery will be in balance and in taste with you. Having said that, I would rather look for what I need and what the world needs. I need to be more established in myself to solve the problem of lifetimes while nobody around me has any idea about it, and to sit for long hours and self-reflect, will require for me to quit music. And the world obviously needs joyfull and blissfull people who retain the capacity to be happy and productive no matter what garbage you put on them. Third thing - too much enlightenment work too fast (maybe). The moment I underestood the notion of such a thing and what experience it creates, and that it deepens, then really the only consistent thing above all, especially as a response to suffering is just to sit and keep quiet and work on my freedom. I have had such experiences completely sober, and it is happening more and more, especially in days where I sit for longer times by myself. Even tho I get lost and distracted I inherently know of more and more what to do. So more relentlessly and frociously over anything else I want to do just that. The experience created literally makes me feel free like nothing else. Another thing is - desire and delusion. This is fairly simple, you will never ever satisfy your desires for something, you will just keep wanting more and more, you will take more and more bodies not knowing why and keep desiring, my question for that is, what is the point of that. And another one - the deep problem of knowledge and memory - this will leave you wanting for enlightenment and dropping everything else if you are internalizing this constantly. The problem is this - no matter what you do, will it have any point of reference? Can you retain that achievement, event or experience, and for how long. It has been said that we are threading along 6th human civilisation after wiping it out 5 times, millions of years till the modern human and billions of years of the universe + the cycles of the universe before that. Do you remember where you came from? Before this birth maybe? Do you even remember last 10 years, 1 year, 1 month or yesterday as it really happened? Already some corrouption of immagination has entered those. What meaning will your years of success and achievements will mean whatsoever when the continious suffering will anyway happen because of internal unfullfillment due to trying to extract maximum pleasure of life and projecting expectations and delusions how life should be, while you don't know anything about yourself and life really, no matter how much knowledge you have; the knowledge you have will anyway fade away and you have to use your mind to have it but the quality of cousciousness will be there for you as you at least. So 99.9% of us are running for desire, not knowing why, what for this creation, what are they for and the obvious fact that no matter what they do, they can enjoy that for a very limited time and they can't take anything earthly with them, including everything percieved as sensory experience. Having said all of that, I am kinda more and more done. Freedom is what is consantly in my mind, the strive for self-purification is all I want, everything else is just more suffering. I don't mind doing something to survive, I can self-reflect there also, but I don't think I will be doing anything extra, unless I really feel that the world needs it. I also disagree with Leo with the fact that spiritual masters are not always happy. 99% of the time they are in my observation. Maybe even 100%. The grace of such beings reveals it to me, their attitude of not taking life seriously to an extraordinary measure show the depth of th capacity of dynamic happiness, that is reflected in their bliss. Then I would ask Leo, about acessing higher states of consciousness sober. And single sentence phrases like I am dreaming all this stuff up or states of consciousness are immaginary as everything else does not count.

I agree with this. When there is creativity or creative challenges, the sexual urge diminishes on its own and one surprisingly becomes oblivious to it. I have also read about the ancient Greeks in the Olympic games practicing celibacy to enhance their physical and mental strength. Same with eastern martial artists as well as international football teams prior to a competition. So people instinctively connect celibacy with greater strength and energy through experience. Sexual release brings with it mental and physical fatigue earlier and one lacks the energy to pursue meaningful activities . Eastern psychology associates celibacy with greater physical and mental energy, along with memory power and mental strength. The sexual energy, if properly controlled and channeled, gets transformed to higher states of consciousness. But as the others here stated, it is something that should be done with awareness and mental equanimity. Spiritual exercises done in early morning can help to bring about the necessary self-discipline needed in this regard. The bliss that comes with practice of awareness or meditation, can also help to reduce the intensity of sexual urges, as the bliss is much superior to sexual pleasure and consequently one gradually loses interest in it.

When the ever expanding and unlimited real self (ATMAN) of a Human Being his/her SOUL is mistaken as something limited and static it can be termed as EGO or self-identity. What is this "ever expanding" self, what is the point of it? The point of this ever expanding self is to become one with, what you can say GOD. The finite becoming unlimited/infinite ultimately realising both are same. Now from where that mistake is ever arising? It's arising within the ingnoramus, the whole point of being a finite individual, the DHARMA of every finite individual is to progress from that finite stage to a stage which has no limit which you might term as INFINITY, and the whole point of realization along the way is to realise that for which an individual is striving for, is no other than what he already is, now with that said shouldn't stop us at the very beginning saying when it's 'ME', what's the point of going down the way, also it's like asking What's the point of living life? Now that I'll leave on the individual, what else will he do if he is not ready to live his/her LIFE? The point to realise is that when you say/term something as infinity or understand the ever expanding self, that in itself has all sorts of pain and failures waiting for you down the road, it's surely not going to be all ROSES, suffering is as real as happiness or being good or living in bliss is. I advocate the philosophy that our ego is never static, it is dynamic and is ever changing, the more you learn the more flexible/mature it becomes the less you learn the more stubborn it becomes. The more you move from Ignorance(even that is not static) to knowledge the more flexible you'll become and thus becoming more "grounded" in your real self. There is some problem in this statement itself, There's nothing to grasp in the so-called direct experience, What do you mean by Direct Experience? If you, me or anyone had experienced something "Directly" , why such doubt then, and what's there to 'GRASP', it is what it is, which is direct is DIRECT, no explanation is demanded/required thereafter. If you had to begin with your Spiritual Teachings and teach an ignoramus, and if you start with- "You are not what you think you are, this Ego/Body", haha, this is like telling a noob mountain trekker to trek Mount Everest, this is like hitting him/her on his/her head repeatedly and forcefully commanding that you are going to trek Everest today itself, either you do that or you know nothing or you are NO good, But in actuality when you say "Direct Experience" it is to first experience the ground where you are either standing or sitting on, primarily, then we shall move forward, first and foremost thing is to accept that I don't know, and this limited self EGO/SELF INDENTITY is what I currently AM, and I'm going to seek my higher self, first and foremost thing is to embody your finite being, your EGO, then only you can make the case to nurture it for a more mature one and ultimately realising that from where you started and whatever stage you will be on, is no different but the same from where you started,in the sense that you must become as directly conscious of the fact of being an EGO as being a GOD. As for thoughts and memories these are just concepts, I like to see memory as the storage device(non-volatile) on my smartphone which I can visit whenever I want to access my stored files, this function in the brain is performed by synapses, the whole idea of past, present and future of TIME in general arise from here, this is as per what I have read until now in certain theories. Whereas thoughts are just like notifications in our smartphones (volatile memory). Personality is just another fancy concept, I won't go deeper into it and will end by just saying, the word came from the early 20th century: Latin, literally ‘mask, character played by an actor’. Even playwrights wrote whole lot of plays in antiquity in and around a particular characters, different characters in different plays, but the writer being the same, these are the roots of the term PERSONALITY, the term sounds cool, huh.

What do you guys think about this video? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xUhykPHgkc Have any of you experienced it? I did, and here are my thoughts about that topic: It was my heroic psilocybin dried mushrooms trip (11-12g). The first part of it was just pure bliss, ecstasy, gratitude that I can experience everything, that I can sense, feel, hear, wow, my mouth was opened and I was just crying out of happiness. The second part of my trip was "a little bit worse". I've seen the so-called "the Void". It was horrifying - an endless strange loop, that is stuck with itself, within itself, forever, since always and it can never escape itself because there's no place to run. We, as God are just lying to ourselves, to then convenience ourselves it's not the truth, we are deluding ourselves that we are human, just to escape ourselves, and so on. My question is like this - if (as Leeor says) both of them are true, what is the Truth, really? Is it like - there is just emptiness, the void, the paradox, the loop, the silence, that just amuses and is deluding itself with endless stories, endless realities because it's better than this horrifying Void? Basically - are we living in a fucking Matrix? It's like being conscious of the fact, that we are just a high as fuck dude, that thinks he's a Jesus Christ or something when in reality he's just a deluded high as fuck dude. Greaaaaat, that's what I was looking for my whole life?

@Javfly33 ? i had some pretty bad ego backlash myself.... It took me weeks before i could even function properly. Of course i could have also just went and lived in a cave and meditated 24/7 and bliss out rather than going back to my job and society....;)

In Abrahamic religions, there's not much emphasis on Karma as in this realm. Everything will be settled in the afterlife by Allah, the Just. People always used to object to prophets about Karma, I suppose that's because it was the popular belief back in Purple societies before Abraham. At some point, people started waking up to the fact that Karma is impossible to prove and that it goes against direct experience. People saw criminals who actually got away with their crimes and lived in materialistic bliss, and they also saw poor people who were oppressed and tortured with no one and nothing to consolidate them. Karma - that popular Purple belief - stopped making sense. And they had to come up with Allah and the afterlife.

Recently i found a technique to reach a state i cannot label so i ll let you interpret it. Description: A state of being pure formless and bliss in which i felt like nothing could harm me for the first time in my life. At 7pm(Romania/12amChicagotime) today i rolled myself a doobie(predominantly sativa) with the thought of practicing the new technique i ve been working on. Smoked it and i lay down on my bed with a Christ on the cross like posture..both arms resting on the bed(palms up), put my headphones on and play random binaural beats astral projetion video you find on YT. As soon as the weed kick in i start focusing on erasing every thought as soon as it pops up until until i get to a calm state where the only thought that i had was a white wall. Soon after i spent a couple of minutes on this state i start focusing on the feelings i felt at the moment in the body(note: i havent labeled these feelings or where are they situated in my body..i was just observing whats happening to me) until i get to a point where i notice that each of these feelings are disappearing one by one. Few more minutes later i felt how my arms are just fading, there wasnt any feeling actually and went along with it until my legs followed up and my butt and then all of my body, but all these transitions were so smooth that ive noticed that i don t have a form just after it happened. Yes, you heard me right. Formless. I dont really know how to discribe this but i was like nothing that could be anything. There was a moment when being with the eyes closed and having not being aware that i still had eyelids, some shines got into my pupils. An observation that i made at the time it was that the thoughts that were just flying in void were taking form and shapes and forms because of the patterns of light screening on my eyelids. I wasn't the one responsible for closing or opening my eyes because at that point i had no controls whatsoerver over my body. I remembered then the topic of Free will vs determinism that Leo broke down and then realizing that all of those thoughts were brought up to surface in the same time as the eyelids were making their uncontrolled movement. The thoughts were just interpretation and projection of the movement my body already did by itself. A few more moments after that, my blood pressure got stable in the whole body, it was like there was no barrier at all between me and everything. All felt right and nothing felt wrong. I felt like i could be a rock, or a wall or a piece of land or a tree and that i could stay like that forever without any resentment. If you know the feeling just before you re about to run unconscious in sleep mode. The feeling of stillnes and bliss and sweetness. You can picture the state that i was just like that with the difference that the thoughts that were floating in void were aligning somehow in a logical order and i was still able to be councious of what i am. But it was like every idea that i had it felt right, nothing like the normal state where the ego opposes resistance to many of the ideas i have. Now, why did i told you all this story is that one of the beliefs this body holds right now is that the STATE that i was in today (formlessness where all of the thoughts were just results of all the memory/karma this form acquired for 22 years) might be for you a source of pure inspiration, a muse as it was called in ancient times and you might find an idea that can be useful for your journey in life. In the end, if you do try this and works please leave a comment with your experience here, i would love to learn more about it. Thanks for reading! Love you all!

@neutralempty Yeah imagination is much more nuanced than people realise, memory and intelligence, also nuanced, naturally overlap with imagination and imagination they, but they're not synonymous, this is a geometric interplay, its not as simple as saying its "all imagination", not even that its "all intelligence", although its more the latter its not from the strictest sense because there are things that both memory and imagination do in the context of both one another that are arguably not all that intelligent, though some of those things may still be useful to specific forms of imagination and memory itself. For the former, level of detail has a bottleneck regarding its utility for intelligence, after a certain point the extra detail isn't going to aid in the context of problem solving but for the sheer value of creating a realistic experience that augments our perceived consciousness it does, and thus may have both pro's and con's for our psychology. The same too for hyperthymesia or "superior autobiographical memory", given this isn't coupled with processing power, its utility is proportionally useless, because of course the more processing power you have the more useful having more memory becomes, while at the same time having at least an average memory is useful across all scales. Unless you've been socially ousted by your peer group in the 1300's for stealing a loaf of bread so now you'll be beheaded, the less you remember about the incident and the upcoming beheading even during the process perhaps the better off you'll be from a general happiness perspective. This is of course how popular, albeit idiosyncratically typical to a bemusing culturally impoverished society, adages like "ignorance is bliss" came to light. Interpreted properly, its not that ignorance is bliss, its that someone just has an easier time of forgetting the pain, but the pain is still there nonetheless unless they're being cared completely for by social nets. To the contrary, all things held equal, although it can be a double edged sword, in many instances in light of the suffering and realignment people need to go through, the lack of imagination is most certainly not bliss in these instances, the ignorance (+ capacity) of which often comes at the cost of recovery. Just as its been postulated that virtual reality can be a form of treating people with various phobias to other so too the harnessing of or building of a powerful imagination for strategic self-interested, self-actualising purposes.

@Adamq8 This message gives me a lot of hope. I like how you said "deep down you know", because it feels like this is something I can't forget, and additionally like its something I've always known. When I was in the middle of the bad trip, its like I knew that I was always this awareness and I would tell myself "you can always come back to this" and "you have always been this", and I experienced the infinite cycle of forgetting and remembering the ultimate truth about who I am. My reactions to that experience are ones of lonely oneness and despair, but I hope that with time I can flip those reactions into connected oneness and bliss. I'm still very uncertain, but your words give me hope that there is light somewhere in this dark void. Thank you.