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peanutspathtotruth replied to a topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Great questions, now take responsibility to inquire into them. I think to some of them you know the answer, but it‘s not a knowing from the mind. Hint: actually feel into your heart. #6 If you still think about suicide, please get professional help. But when this pain is there (we all know it, even thuogh it might not go that far), use it!! Don‘t try to overcome it. Look at it. Be gentle to yourself -
Being "me" has become unbearable. I truly, practically, undoubtedly cannot live with myself (my mind) any longer. This idea of self, this construct is so painful to maintain, defend and keep building up that it would end up killing its own physical body by suicide. The self image that my mind has constructed over the past 22 years is so full of ideas, theories, identifications, pains, traumas, loneliness, neediness and lies that it makes life a prison sentence. It is always and neurotically comparing, judging, feeling superior and inferior. Always trying to "become someone" or get somewhere. Never, ever at peace. Being trapped in shame, loneliness, self judgement and inadeguacy It can't interact with other "selfs" normally and peacefully. It is also deeply identified with the physical body which it now violently hates because the body is chronically sick and fatigued. (How could it not be!?) Trying to CHANGE or add to this image/identity has NOT worked. Even the so called "spirituality" road it went down the past two years was a way for it to enlarge itself, to demand some extra experience and feel superior to others. No matter how hard I tried to change it, what I add to it, it always remained a torture. I've now carefully observed that its very nature, it's very structure, are torturous. The intellect can't provide me peace if I know and live only through it. Therefore, until a few days ago I couldn't see a way out except suicide. I was finally planning it. Then one afternoon I started to feel a sense of emptiness, stillness and lightness associated with a feeling of being NOBODY. A force guiding me towards being nothing and no one, free from this identity and the constant flow of thoughts reinforcing it. I could/can still sense the "me" being there but I seem to be able to observe it for the first time. I can currently feel and observe its fear, anger and noise arising, growing and flowing away. As I observe it, the self image and the identity are falling apart, dissolving themselves as they now appear illusory/not real. I love it, I feel free and I would like to exist from this place. Is it possible to maintain/establish deeper? My mind is still worried and asking: 1)Don't I have to be and become "someone" ? 2) How does one live and function in the world without a self image, an identity to build up and defend? 3)How can one interact with others while maintaining this "being nobody" and the lightness and stillness associated with it? 4) Is having this empty, peaceful head dangerous? Shouldn't i be thinking, worrying, manipulating? "The world is merciless afterall!" (says my mind) 5) Why am I so desire-less, need-less now? Shouldn't I want, need and chase to survive? 6) Am I (who?) insane and should see a doctor? I don't know the answers. If you do, i'd be grateful to hear them
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Enlightenment replied to Frenk's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Of course, nobody can ever be certain that the joy or suffering experienced was the greatest. However, I've experienced higher peak states of bliss than probably 99% of the population: The meditative joy of adept stages of meditation, the rapture of Jhana DPT and 5-MeO breakthrough + many small-mid dose trips Various drugs in high recreational doses taken on clear receptors with no tolerance like amphetamine, MDMA, Opiates, Mephedrone, benzos, GHB, Nitrous... from which the most blissful was love on MDMA and fapping to porn on amphetamine As for suffering, the peak state of depression and anxiety when I almost committed suicide because irritability and anxiety levels were simply unbearable. I think no reasonable person would voluntarily take x time of extreme suffering like torture or cluster headache to then experience x time of the most bliss they can imagine. I'd rather be unconscious -
If you want to live a good life, take up the idea of becoming a spiritual warrior really seriously. Fight for the truth everyday. Not everly self-proclaimed truth seeker and one who is familiar with enlightenment actually does this work for the rest of their life because the struggle is too real. The resistance and all the mind storm that gets in a way, saying 'I'm too weak, I can't do that', 'I wish I was never born', 'I am such a waste of time and space', 'I didn't ask to be born' or 'the world is unfair' - (which is kind of true, but bear with me). I know what I'm talking about because I go through this storm every single day. Sometimes one cannot sit and meditate because the pain is too unbearable and the reason to suffer seems simply insurmountable. It also seems like some things are very important in life, such as recognition, social status, money or looks. But soon these things will fade and, in the end, it will be only a matter of how free are you from your mind. How can there be anything permanent? Do not give up and fall into an illusion that suicide is a better option. There can't be anything more deluded than that. In short: you'll become a fantom and your pain will be 1000x times worse. The inner work has to be done while the body is alive. Your mind is going to try to convince you all of the things that you believe to be true right now, but the thing is that none of that is true. we are designed to be masters over the mind. We must realize the truth that is beyond words. I like to go and listen to the sound of silence or the peaceful sound of river waves to calm down and heal. I recommend you not to stress over the things you cannot control in life to cherish the miracles around you. ?
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Applegarden replied to Jay Ray's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Avoid contacting people who died by suicide is a good general rule of thumb. -
I am 24 years old and I live in Serbia. I have no qualifications other than high school which I was forced into by the system against my will and for which there arent any jobs. I live with mother who is chronically unemployed. I am autistic, I have chronic back pain and I fear chronic unemployment and chronic back pain. I feel like dignity has been taken away from me because I cant have a job. My Aspergers makes it very harder for me to get a job. If I dont have food, a roof atop my head, I will be forced to commit suicide. I lost completely faith in myself because I need proof that I am capable of something. I still have hope and dreams but I fear and worry that they may never be realized, such as writing a book, or learning a instrument, due to the lack of money. Ego death (enlightenment), hope and a sense of meaning in life is what prevented me from commiting suicide. I have worry and fear almost everyday on the following things: 1. That my chronic back pain will get worse in the future and that my chronic pain will get very severe when I get old 2. That my chronic pain gets in the way of getting and keeping a job, a physically demanding job would harm my untreated spine 3. That I wont ever have a good life or moments of genuine happiness and that the only thing that os guaranteed is more pain and suffering in all aspects of life. 4. That everything I do is condemned to failure and that resistance is futile 5. That I will be unemployed, possibly homeless and starve. If I starve I might be forced to commit suicide because the skinnier i am the more spine is weak and chronic pain would be stronger. 6. That I will suffer physically and mentally in the future because I need money for so many things, like a MR scan or a sport. 7. I fear that wage slavery for the rest of my life will break me physically and emotionally. And I am right. I would rather die than be somebody's slave forever 8. Precariousness and underemployment, making too little money 9. That I will achieve nothing of sigbificance in life. Its pathetic that everything in the world is dependent on a artificial ugly thing we call money. Even the thought of killing myself due to not having money seems pathetic to me, however justifiable it may be. I have lost courage and faith in myself. All I ever wanted is to have a normal life, but I got a weird and cursed. I always thought of myself like other people until other people remind me every day that I am not even the same biological species as them (aka Homo Sapiens). Humanity is overrated. How do I live like I am going to die tomorrow (in a stoic positive way) so that I will have courage to face challenges in the future and not give into hopelessness and helplessness? I know life is unfair, but society is inhumanely more unfair to those who have a hidden disability (like Aspergers and chronic back pain). I say its inhumane because I didnt ask to be born autistic while most other people can enjoy their selfish neurotypical lives. The most incomprehensible thing about being autistic is how other people don't even treat you as a human being, you cannot get anymore inhumane than that. I recognize that humans are social beings and that work and relationships are a necessary part of life which I am involuntarily deprived of. Postmodern capitalism just seems like it wants to weed out people like me. Before this neoliberal monster and postmodern capitalism, I think autistic people would not stand out as much in unemployment, you would do your job as you would have been told to do and there would be no job interview hassle. Just a fucking job. It seems like competition is brutal these days and its 100x more brutal for those who have autism. Im not saying there aren't other young guys struggling to get a job but they are at unfair advantage over autistic people. It seems that seeking a job through HR managers and job interviews is a suicide mission because of EQ and qualifications, so there needs to be some other solution. I shouldnt try to play by the rules of the system. How do I get a job? Leo has said that in order to escape wage slavery you need to become creative. I have creative interests like writing and music but I doubt in my abilities to produce and provide something valuable and creative, i dont even have the money to buy a musical instrument. And the main question. What can make me stop worrying and fearing the future?
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I live in the balkanized hellhole of Serbia. My parents are dysfunctional and i live with a single mother, while the father is absent. I wasnt socialized during childhood and bow I am expected to get through job interviews where emotional intelligence is a key factor. I dont have a diagnosis, but i dont need one because i know how alien i felt from other people and how everyone either ignores you or bullies you. There's more to it than just a gut feeling. I consider myself to have Asperger syndrome. I was a heavy gamer during entire teenage years. Not because I was lazy or hedonistic, but because I wanted to escape the suffering from being ostracized, mocked by peers and because of bad grades which I couldnt control because I believed I was stupid and helpless to change anything. The education system ruined my self-esteem, personality and mental health. The vicious cycle of learned helplessness and a dangerous lack of faith in myself destroyed the chances for me to have a good life. I had only one close friend in my entire life and this sadly lasted only 3 months when I was 12. Other than that I didnt even have people my age to talk to. I was so miserable that I spent in front of computer every day which resulted in physical deformities and chronic back pain. I quit the gaming/internet addiction when i was 21. I had an ego death as a result of chronic back pain and survived through hellish suffering. I am enlightened but enlightenment alone wont protect me from chronic unemployment, it can only show me the truths. I dont have faith anymore in myself after so many extreme disappointments (justifiably). All I have left is hope. But if you kill hope, only suicide is left. I wish to have faith again and be semper fi. But i cant when nothing works out in my life. I need proof to regain faith in myself again. Now i am 24. And the alienation between me and other people is surreal. Seeing groups of adolescents hanging out is something I cannot relate to because I never had a group of people to hang out. I feel i dont belong to the same biological species. They say this is the best time in history but nothing can be further from truth. Although some periods are justifiably better than others, for the individual there is no best time in history, its all relative. In fact today people have become so decadent. 1.The world is lacks love more than ever that its ironic that most songs nowadays are about love. 2. Social media corrupts young people and makes them have unrealistic expectations about life. 3. Everyday we stray further away from God. 4. People spend more time texting than speaking each other in the face. 5. Weak effeminate men who are insecure and technology dependent. 6. Atomized families and single mothers who treat their children like wasted medical products instead of genuinely caring about them. 7. Mindless entertainment indoors is preferred over hanging out. 8. We are polluting and overpopulating the planet but have no means to reverse the damage done to nature. 9. People only take and take, but give nothing in return. The last paragraphs may seem misanthropic and thats because they are. I dont hate anyone nor humanity, but rather life experience, distrust and cynicism made me such a person.
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Might save many lives.
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Just found out about this gamer and watched the video with Dr.K. Reckful seemed like a real nice dude, sorry to hear that he commited suicide. @Carl-Richard Personally, I would be careful with putting anyone on a pedestal. From an ethical POV, Dr.K made quite a few mistakes, draw big assumptions without enough information and asked questions that implied a concrete answer. That's not such a good thing to do as a psychiatrist/psychologist. Another thing I didn't like is how he interrupted Reckful so often. It looked like he was more interested in showing "how much he knows". Lastly, a therapist should be very careful when talking about certain subjects, especially without enough therapeutic relationship. That being said, it probably helped Reckful feel his repressed emotions and let them come out. Dr. K was probbaly right in many of his interpretations, but I think he should be careful and not take them for granted and especially not push them onto the person he's talking to.
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Leo Gura replied to actualizing25's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
I think this thread has run its course. Don't confuse awakening with suicide. Don't give depressed people dumb ideas. Don't give this work a bad name. -
I hear you. Trying to motivate someone who has a victim mentality is probably one of the hardest things to accomplish. The main reason is that you need to be willing to try out different things if you want different outcomes and most people with this kind of mentality don't want to give it up because it has it's benefits and feels safe. To get out of that mentality, they would need to start taking complete responsibility about their life, stop blaming others, etc., and that's not an easy thing to do. IME the more you try to motivate or push such a person, the more frustrated you get, because it doesn't work. It has to be them who decide to leave behind this mentality and the benefits that come with it. I agree with @universe that leading by example and unconditional acceptance are essential. But it's important that you don't have an underlying agenda expecting that this leads to the change you want to see in him, because it may never happen. This is the hardest part IMO and probably the most important as well: working on accepting that he may be stuck in this mentality his whole life. Of course, there's nothing wrong about wanting to help him, it's completely natural. Also, it can be useful to express genuine concern and offer compassion and help if he is willing to start working on himself. What I mean is that he won't change until he has a personal motivation to do so. And even then, relapses are to be expected. Also, don't forget to take care of yourself in this process, because otherwise you will burn out and your relationship with your brother will suffer. At the end of the day, you're not responsible for his well being and you can only be there to help him if he is willing to commit to the process. A good therapy would benefit him, because threatening with suicide as soon as someone expresses a boundary like you did is a serious issue that requires professional help. I can imagine your fear when he threatens with suicide. My guess is he has learnt to threaten, because he can get away with not taking responsibility like this. I hope you can find your peace with this issue!
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Read this back about 2013. I have a great appreciation for the book title. Overall, it's just a so so read. If I can remember the story rightly,,,,The highlight for me was when this guy went off the deep end one weekend and called the suicide hotline only to discover that no one answered. Not only that, it was vacant because as it turned out he was the one who was responsible. He was a part time volunteer for the suicide hotline and had forgotten to have someone cover for him this particular weekend.
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"The absence of joy is slow suicide"- Ocke de Boer
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An young being replied to actualizing25's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@OmniYogaIsn't suicide itself a survival instinct? People attempting suicide die if they succeed in it in and it's unfortunate. But in most cases, they get saved and get a lot of mental aid, which may even prolong their life by getting help in fixing their problems with life or getting attention from people who are close. People may do it consciously or unconsciously but nature has its own ways . Coming to the question, awakening maybe the same as dying, but once you die, you will not be able to come back to experience life with the experience of dying. Isn't it a huge difference? -
@universe lol, thank you I wish it were as easy as just that but I know it's not. I definitely do think he needs a ton of love. Its unfortunate because though we live together we are not close. He spends a lot of time playing video games, pretty much all day, so we don't have alot of opportunity to talk and when we do its just small little conversations in passing. Plus I'm just an introvert anyway and enjoy spending time by myself reading, guitar, art, YouTube, etc. BUT I really do want to help. When the gyms open back up I think I'm going to make an effort to regularly go with him. Though I'm not much of a gym go-er, it would at least be a way for us to spend some time together so that I can have more of an influence on his life, grow a closer relationship. When he moved in 2 years ago, the plan was for him to work part time (just enough to pay his bills) so that he still had energy to go to the gym and lose weight to ultimately be able to work in a career on a ship to where he would be able to be on his feet alot doing physical labor. Hes very overweight. He has some progress over the last 2 years but losing weight is not easy and with the pandemic and gyms being closed it threw him off even more. When he brought up the suicide thing, he said something along the lines of "I'm not suicidal, I don't want to die I enjoy living. But if it were at that point of being homeless I wouldn't see any other way." I know it seems as though hes taking advantage (if that were the case this would be much easier for me to just write him and this situation off) but unfortunately he has alot of mental limitations..as I said low self esteem, also very bad social anxiety, and we had some traumatic situations growing up (toxic alcoholic household, both our parents ended up passing away). I don't think hes had many people to open up to about his feelings and has kept them inside for a long time, has ALOT of healing to do. And the video games are a distraction for him. Though our deep talks are few and far between, when we do I notice him holding back alot of tears and emotion, n definitely coming through as anger and blame... You are right, for now love and compassion is the best I can do, and can just go from there when the time us right. And making an effort to be more of a part of his life. And maybe eventually we can get to the point of him opening up to me about these feelings and healing a bit... Will be recommending to him the Sedona Method in the future as well that would be really helpful for him. I hope he ends up enjoying the Psychocyberbetics book. For me, one good self help book lead to a chain of others from seeing all the possibilities. Fingers crossed maybe it does the same for him... Thank you ?
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OmniYoga replied to actualizing25's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@mandyjw isn't the opposite the case ? usually when people who lose control over their lives completely and can not handle it, it's too much for them - commit suicide, rather nobody is thinking about that when things are going his way -
abrakamowse replied to actualizing25's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
More here: https://www.andrewholecek.com/suicide-from-a-buddhist-perspective/ -
Someone here replied to actualizing25's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Suicide is inevitable. Whether you die "naturally" or kill yourself makes no difference.. In both cases the Entropy will reach maximum levels that simply your body-mind can't handle anymore to sustain itself. The person who commits suicide thinks that he is getting rid of life when in fact it's life that is getting rid of him because he didn't take his happiness and peace of mind seriously when that's the only thing that matters. -
mandyjw replied to actualizing25's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
The self commits suicide because it assumes it has control over its own life. Awakening is the realization that you never had or have control. -
Dont show him Leos videos, just dont. Change doesnt happen as easily like that. Think about yourself. How long did it take you to implement these concepts discussed here. And how far are you actually with them? You are living with him so you really have a strong grip on him and the possibility to help him. Now first, him responding with suicide if you dont give him what he wants. Could be that he is suicidal, but to me it sounds much more likely that he is being abusive towards you. Just realize this. Now, how you can help him: Love. This is really important. Seems like he is missing a fuckton of it. Just be loving towards him in the next weeks and dont do anything else. If he crosses some boundaries explain how that makes you feel and that its not acceptable but overall be as loving as possible. DO NOT try to change him in any way. Like telling him what he could do (take a bath, get a job, get a haircut, going outside). Just accept and love him for what he is. Lead by example. Whatever you want him to do (habits, motivation, emotional control or whatever), instead of mentioning it to him. Just do these thing yourself. This is huge. After you've done this (1&2) for a while he might be looking for help. If he does this, you strike. Choose one way to help him/coach him and go for it. Strive for weekly/daily sessions. You can do whatever your best at. Maybe teaching self-help 101, going into metaphysics, doing psychedelics or start some sport. These are all good. But what I would really suggest is Sedona Method and some visualisation.
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What makes this high consciousness material? The ultimate function of depression isn't even discussed in the video, only some relative thinking patterns and some contexts related to it. Sad to hear a streamer suicided himself though, but there's more of an involved process that comes with suicide than simply reducing depression as the sole factor. I think this is better at the serious emotions section than here.
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abrakamowse replied to actualizing25's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
First of all, the "merge" term is a concept to try to understand what is not understandable and that it cannot be explained. In reality we are always One with God but the idea of a separated person makes us think we are "separated". If those ideas continue after death, it is obvious that those ideas will take form again, human form or other forms to manifest until the idea of a "me" or a separated "I" goes away. Anyone needs to die to know that, if you jump from a skyscraper you know that you will fall into the ground and die. It is not necessary for you to jump to know it. Is just common sense. And all the wise people who came before us have written about it, the paths to enlightenment are all around us. Is weird that no one mentions suicide as a way to become enlightened. The idea is preposterous. -
I need advice on how I can bring up to my brother that his victim mentality is keeping him stuck.. it's always excuses after excuses, negative mentality, black and white thinking. I thought about just sending him Leo's videos on it but I don't want to offend him. Would that be motivational or offensive you think? For someone to send you a video titled "how to stop being a victim". He has low self esteem/self image so I'm just sensitive to the fact that then he would add that negative label on himself as well. But If he were to really soak in that info and were open to it I just know how much it would help. Hes very very very stuck in life and has been living with me rent free for a couple of years. I'm trying to help him get set up with a career that he can support himself with long term. I had a long talk with him the other day on how this situation is not sustainable and how I am putting a time limit on it. Legit he brought up suicide if he were to have to be homeless/living in his car. I am talking 1-2 year time limit, not like next week. It frustrates me that he jumps to that type of thinking. I'm just thinking...where is the drive/personal responsibility?! Dont you not want that to happen? Time to do something, take action and responsibility...! Sigh. I just don't want to regret down the line that I didn't do everything I could to help him better himself. I know it is his thinking that's keeping him stuck. One thing that I did do was give him Psychocybernetics to read, which I'm hoping will give him motivation and start to see how his thinking and self image directly affects his life, how he can change/work on that. If I need to elaborate more let me know... But I would really like advice and suggestions on the best way to approach these types of people. How to give them the motivation they need/etc. Thank you!
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abrakamowse replied to actualizing25's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Buddha and Jesus didn't know. Otherwise they would suggest you to kill yourself to become one with God. Cool. Edit: Suicide is obviously the ego who doesn't want to accept reality, so ego thinks it can take a shortcut to enlightenment. -
Yoga ✅ 30min + 20min Meditation ✅ 15min alone Sleep ✅ 7.5h and took a nap yesterday Naps have become my thang apparently Too much attachment to these journals. I occasionally have a spike of shame over the littlest things I write. Then when I correct them later I have a spike of shame over correcting them. It's painful. It's just that I care too much. And try too much sometimes. And now I'm slightly ashamed by how much I care and am ashamed Why try to create an image of yourself. Helping others is more important. Wayy more important. But sometimes I just feel like a love vampire. Most of the time I signed up for the meditation retreat. I sign up for a music camp they ask me what's my favourite genre of music, I sign up for a meditation retreat they ask me if I've ever considered suicide. Jeez. Though that's understandable. I'm kind of worried if I did the payment thing right. I'll probably have to send them another email and ask.