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Hi. I'm looking for recomendations about serious shadow elimination, slaying the demons to get out of the fragile ego state in order to reach psychological adulthood. i'm going on this journey because I'm motivated by fear of death. It's not something like 'I want to find my bliss'. My question is, is it all about staying and refusing to identify with an I-thought only?? To be fiercely united with the infinite mind, as shadowy fantasies pass by?

You might find these sayings by Swami Vivekananda, insightful and helpful in strengthening your convictions for self-mastery and identifying the natural bliss within yourself. https://vivekavani.com/swami-vivekananda-quotes-pleasure/

@xxxx 1- Heaven is surrendering, ego is suffering or hell. 2- No. 3- God is nothingness. There is no such a thing as another dimension, infinite, human vs. No self is love. 4- Freedom, effortlessness, bliss, compassion. 5- letting go of the ego. There is no “me” nor “you”. You are the “bliss, happiness and love ”. 6- Life is suffering. Enlightenment is end of suffering, which is end of life too. Everything is temporary, except nothingness.

Yes, in Baghvad Gita - where Krishna converses with Arjuna, just before a violent war, he instructs Arjuna to not have any remorse for any other living being, because they are the eternal soul that is the bliss itself, just cloaked in different bodies. And it is also very important to internally forgive your enemies and not to cherish them as your enemies so that the enemity doesn't stay so that you don't destroy your life and stop taking important decisions of your life towards your life's purpose. In that sense love is wishing them the best - the most unconditional love I can verbalize. Mostly all these patterns of attachment, enemity, anger, fear e.c.t. are acctually in you as a form of self-hatred, self-denial e.c.t., other beings just trigger that in you, and if you resolve them more and more - a different set of response triggers in you, ignoring them, letting go of them, wanting not to be like them and live authentically, focus more on your vision and goals. Pleasing the other is also pretty selfish, disguised in selfishness. You want all of the people to have a good name - why? Because one conflict, one person not saying hi to you, can ruin your day and poison your thinking for some time. That is how attached we are. Working on your self is the first truth in my opinion.

Part 1) Title: Mindless sleepy compensatory, finds itself again through emotional masturbatory As I sit here with my mind, why is it that the world is so misaligned Waking up on the couch again, falling asleep after talking to you till the midnight bend Pictures like shadows on the wall, falling dreams like waterfalls that were once so tall What is it that I can invent in this brain, so that the colours of this day I can begin to entertain A rhyme for a reason, to break into this season, I, cannot describe, doctor, please prescribe Let me beg for a prescription in my dream, for this feeling body needs to feel something in order to get going to its extreme By seeing the possibility of my imagination, even if its a feeling I will not commit to in this 3D world, I will restore my inner nation To this now, I collect, a payment to my being, for the future recollect, I have broken the spell, through the rush of hell And all ready for my existential, abstract, pavlovian bell Return to this, when I forget my bliss And I will reignite, this great fight Know there is, always light (its just a matter of poetic exploration to discover new grains)

This... this is really important lesson in life. Probably the most important lesson I learned. Behind loneliness, rejection there is pure bliss itself. You are always alone. Spirituality literally means all by yourself. You will die alone just lile each and every one of us. Meditation and all sorts of stuff is great for this. I feel so blessed to discover that when I felt frustrated and abandoned. There are few ways to really approach this sincerely. If you are interestd what is it that I did and what helped me, I can pm you later. But death is always lurking. It seems lile the darkest shadow but acctually it is the greatest friend to who you really are. Nothing will make you happy except renounciation. Doesn't mean you can't do stuff in the worldbut practice of renounciation even while doing and having is vital. Otherwise life really is nothing but sea of suffering no matter what you have and own. The moment it is taken away from you, there is sorrow and even when you have there is boredom e.c.t.

@Gabith Bask in the profundity of what is and enjoy the reality of it regardless of what that reveals. Learn to see the bliss in all things. If it rains see the bliss in it. If it’s sunny, see the bliss in it. If there’s pain, see the bliss in it. If there’s comfort, see the bliss in it. If you succeed, see bliss in it, if you “fail”, see bliss in it. Personally, to be humbly honest I find joy in almost anything. One of them being the infinity of reality. There’s an endless opportunity of things to do in life. I couldn’t even list them all. you can create you can observe you can learn you can explore you can engage physical exercise you can travel you reflect you can read etc. All of these can be applied to almost any facet of life. The list is literally endless, hence why boredom in my opinion is a complete delusion. All things are inherently bliss, they both stem from the same source. You can’t have a positive without a negative the two are interdependent. (Eg. Cold cannot be known having not first experienced warm or vice versa). Realise this and you will not need specific activities from which joy must be derived.

@Nahm Oof thats my mistake. I tried this version of the technique just now and felt my 3rd eye and there was a moment of bliss so thats always nice, but that brings up a question lol I visualized/felt the energy going up -> out through the head and so my eyes naturally looked toward the 3rd eye which usually works. But do you mean out of the body as a whole during the exhale to dissipate the energy or does it not matter ? Sorry for being so detail orientated. I also now see that @Tim Ho describes this very similarly. Not sure why I read you message incorrectly, I think I was reading off of memory and tried to compare it with sushumna breathing. Thank you for your clarification! @Tim Ho I actually felt the peace and heat today it was very short but after bringing the energy up and out I brought it up through all of the chakras and performed maha bandha and was brought to the present like a slap to the face (its quite terrifying and cool). And hey just out of curiosity, are awakenings any different than what psychedelics offer? I know that most psychedelic "awakenings" are different but do you count that? For example ive had experiences of unity and peace but those usually fade like you are saying, the ego comes back. But does that count as an awakening? lol sorry if its a dumb question, but in my experience some say psychedelics dont count because they fade. So then the question is, is awakening a continuous state? Or is it a state that is similar to that of psychedelics? Or is it just an awakening to deeper understanding (which fades in my experience) and then integrating that understanding into your everyday life ? Ill give those noontropics a shot. I tried lions mane and a few others but did not feel any different tbh. Modafinil was the one that I could feel the difference instantly but its also synthetic lmao. Good idea to eat it with banana, ive been eating my multivitamins usually while fasted lmfao so that might not have been the brightest idea.

That is the 4th Psychedelic Trip of my life. 1st Trip - 1g Shrooms 2nd Trip - 2g Shrooms 3rd trip - 3g Shrooms 4th Trip - 5g Shrooms I took 5-gram Magic Mushrooms with Lemon Tek with Ginger Tea & Dark Chocolate at 11:30 pm by 09/01/2021 Saturday Alone in Silent Darkness. And started Meditation. I was confident. There was No Fear. Fully conscious and aware and ready to confront my ego’s death. I settled my intention to know my Ultimate Self Deeply & Completely. I was trying to be. I was declining all those things which were not me. Like sensations, sounds, breath, thoughts, etc. My consciousness started to expand in 15 to 20 minutes. And as soon as shrooms hit me (According to me my wife, Electricity in my whole country went off at 11:50 pm.) I think visuals and entities started to manifest but I do not remember those because my main intention was not visuals but to know my real self. During the Trip, I was offered 2 options and I had to choose 1 of them: Infinite Visuals, Worlds, Universes, Colors, Entertainment, Fares, Entities, Tunnels, Infinite Possibilities. Infinite Joy. Go Deeper to know my real self. I chose the 2nd option Because I knew that I have my whole life to enjoy infinite possibilities. But to do the ultimate thing in this life to know yourself which will lead me to Know God And Understanding God Will answer my all existential questions. Now I was diving into the tunnel of my real self deeply like a rocket into the dark space and my ego was throwing a different kind of distractions toward me so I can not reach the source because ego knew that it will lead to Ego Death. Ego was trying to give me wrong answers like You are these sensations, you are that, you are that and I was breaking all asteroids, distractions by denying and saying that I am not that, I am not that, I am the one who is trying to find myself. Then I realized that seeking is the problem. I can not find myself till I am seeking. Who am I seeking? I am already as it is. Then I became Nothingness, I became what I am, I became Love, I became creator, I became Expression of love. Then I started getting answers to all of my existential questions. The answer to each existential question was leading to Pure Bliss and happiness and laughter. I was in an un-describe-able blissful state getting answers to all of my questions. I know that I experienced many many other positive things as well but I do not remember them now clearly and completely. I wanted to express my feelings, I wanted to write a lot of things I wanted to share my every insight. I wanted to talk to someone. Everything was going amazingly. I understood a lot of things and got answers to a lot of questions. I understood that I just am, I am Transparent Love, I am Peace, everything else like (thoughts, sensations, Existence, etc is just expressions of my infinity, Love, Creativity). There is transparent Nothingness which have not any properties than the 1st thing that nothingness becomes conscious of itself and recognize itself as pure bliss, peace, infinity, and love and then enjoy itself through the expression of its infinite creative love. Jawad and its world is just 1 possibility from his infinite possibilities. Nothingness became Consciousness and in that consciousness, nothingness expresses its infinite love which results in infinite creations, and then nothingness becomes a person like me so It can praise that infinite love, talk about it, enjoy it and spread love among others, help others, make others life easy, to listen to others, I am here to love. I am acceptance of someone’s Pray. This is how God Fulfill your prayers & wishes. God made Everything around you to make your life better. Because he loves you. Everything is perfect. Consciousness is evolving all the time. There is no Joy in selfishness, Joy is hidden in living for others. Selfishness leads toward selfish desires which are the cause of all kinds of suffering. Then I don’t know when my consciousness expanded at the level where I was able to manifest any version of my life at will. It was like I was writing my own destiny. It was like I am not just writing my infinite destinies but I was living those lives as well. There were infinite versions of my life. And at that stage, I was living infinite versions of my life at the same time. I experienced centuries, I experienced that I am Hearing prayers of everyone. Then I was at a level where I knew that I have infinite power and I can create or manifest anything. In fact, At that stage, my thoughts were not just thoughts. My every thought was manifesting into reality. Whatever I was thinking was becoming a physical reality. So When I realized that I have infinite Power and I was going through experiencing infinite possibilities at light speed. So I thought Let’s manifest a life where I have the best version of my life, so I stopped into nothingness and manifested the best life of my choice. There was not a process of manifestation. I just decided and there I was in that life. And in that life, Jawad had infinite powers of God and could see with the eyes or perspective of God. And in that life that God’s Infinite power became a problem. The worst problem. I was totally awake to that truth that I am still alone, Nothingness and I am just Imagining everything. I got a bit panicked said no no no I don’t want to be alone I want to be with others like I was before. I tried many times and I was able to manifest any kind of life but I was not forgetting the fact that I am God and everything else is just my Imagination. And that Infinite superpower became my curse and I went into Panic, Shock, I wanted to forget that I am God and wanted to live a human life but that became impossible for me. Let me give you an example of how it felt like with the following example: Right now where ever you are and whatever you are experiencing right now is seems totally vivid and real, physical to you and everything else like nothingness, God, Infinity, etc.. is just your thought, imagination, and concept. Now think about how it would feel like if it’s the opposite of that? At that stage, my Infinity was the most vivid and physical thing and everything else was like my imagination. And I wanted the opposite of that, I wanted to get rid of my infinite powers but that was not possible because, in Reality, It is me and my real self. I can not get rid of my real self. My Thoughts were becoming reality. My (Ego’s) Fears, Insecurities, desires, craving, and aversion started to come to the surface. Negative thoughts started to appear. That was not the right time for negative thoughts because it was the time when each thought was manifesting into reality. I started to suffer due to my own desires. At that stage I got the answer to the following question: Q: Why God would like to forget himself while living this life? A: If you are a Jawad slave of your own, fears, desires, attachments, and insecurities then you can not Handel the fact that you are alone, you are the only one there is nothing else, there is nowhere to go. You are nothing and everything else is just your thought. If you are a pour Ego who is attached to the world then you can not handle that fact and you can become mad. So when we come to this world we need to free ourselves from our own attachments, fears, and desires and adopt the power of acceptance, gratitude, detachment then we can handle our own true Power of infinite Love. Due to my own Fears, Attachments, Desires, I couldn’t handle my own true infinite Power and started to get panic. So my every thought was manifesting into reality and I started to think negatively in a panic my negative thoughts started to manifest into reality which again pushing me into more panic. Suddenly I started to live the life of a blind man. I saw that due to any side effect of shrooms I have lost my sight now I can not see anymore. My trip is finished, every member of my family is around me, I am crying, sad, Facing a lot of regrets that why I took this substance now I am blind. I experienced the pain of blind people. Then I lived that whole life without vision and with regret and pain. It triggered again a big attack of panic and that whole life again dissolved and I was back into infinity felt like I am trapped in an infinite void. Then Suddenly I started to live the life of a mad man. I saw that I am gone mad due to psychedelics, Now I am mad + Blind. I don’t know any language, I am in Panic, Crying, regretting, Then My whole family is around me, talking about me, They called the doctor and declared me psychologically ill and took me to Hospital of mad People and gave me electric shocks. Then I spent my whole life like this. Unconsciously I was saying no no no no What I have done. Shit Shit. I was saying I want my normal life back please God Please help me. And It triggered again a big attack of panic and that whole life again dissolved and I was back into infinity felt like I am trapped in an infinite void. Then Suddenly I saw that I am physically dead, my whole family is around me, they are crying, sad, talking about me that Jawad was in these things all the time, We always told him not to get into these things but He never heard us. They arranged my funeral, they dropped me into the grave, etc Then again I was back in consciousness, It was dark, I was alone, I had nothing, not even my body I was really sad, I was crying, I was saying I should have not done this. What I have done, No, No No, Please Please Please. I wanted to come back to reality. After a lot of struggle to go back to normal life, after a lot of psychological suffering, I tired and with ultimate sadness, I decided to surrender and accept the reality that I am dead. And thought lets, go back to the death, to nothingness, to forgetfulness, to deep sleep. And then I got dead, I went into a deep sleep and there was one more thing that was scarier than all above things there I realized that I can not sleep, I can not die, I can not lose my awareness, my consciousness because I am God. And God can not die, He never sleeps. I realized that I have to accept the fact that now I have to remain alone as transparent consciousness forever. That thought made me mad again and I started to live Madly again in Darkness. And I had the power to manifest the normal life again and I did it many times but even after getting the normal life back I was not losing the vision or perspective of God in which I was able to live the normal life but with my Infinite vision, I was able to see that I am still alone and I am just imagining all of this. And that was not making me calm and happy. In the end, after trying for many centuries I thought let’s Imagine the normal same life again and start to live that imagination and just keep trying to forget and fade out your Infinite Vision and try to make your imagination as vivid as possible. So 1st of all I manifested rays of light, then I manifested a few objects illumined with that light, then I manifested the feeling of changing my direction, my location, then I manifested the face of my wife appeared from that Light like God have come to me help me in face of my wife. She smiled and said are you Ok? Are you fine? Do you want to come outside of the room? I said Yes, I am fine and would like to come outside. I was trying to act normal and at that time My infinite nothingness vision was more vivid than this imaginative world. There I started to find a way to get out of nothingness to the world of imagination. The more I was focusing on the objects of the Imagination world the more the imagination world was coming into life and vivid. I came out of the room there was nothing other than my wife so through my imagination I manifested outside of my room. She brought me into the Lounge and gave me a chair to sit. Now my world of imagination was coming and going and I was really afraid of losing that imagination world again. So I was trying to focus as much as possible on my imagination of this physical world to keep it more vivid and real. I asked my wife to keep talking to me so I can stay here. Then I realized that I have forgotten to manifest my Body so through the power of Imagination I manifested my Body and I was looking at my Body and other things like I have come back here after centuries. Now with the passing of time, I started to feel that now this Imagination world getting more vivid and my real self which is infinite is fading out. My infinite powers started to fade out with time. And then in the last phase of this trip, I was overwhelmed with Love. The answer to Each of the questions of my wife was “Love”. I learned that Infinite Love is so powerful and deep that you can not handle it if you have fears, attachments, desires, insecurities, Negativities in your Ego’s Subcoonciousn mind. That is why we 1st need to purify ourselves before the actual physical death. If you have purified yourself from all kinds of impurities before the physical death then that infinite love will become your infinite heaven forever or if you don’t purify yourself from your deepest impurities before physical death then you will not be able to handle your own infinite power of love and your own impurities will become your forever torment. Now I am Sober but I know I am sure that I am alone and I can never die and right now I am living an imagination. And now my goal is to work on my impurities, get rid of them and bring gratitude, acceptance, detachment in my life so my Ego Or I can accept my death peacefully and live in the ocean of love eternally. When I totally came back from my trip, the Electricity in my country also came back. The public, Media & Government of my country is still wondering why Electricity was gone.

@Muhammad Jawad That was an awesome read. Thank you for sharing. And thank you @abrakamowse for connecting the dots ❤ Definitely can relate. Especially regarding instant manifestation. Thinking reality into existence - in real time. Every single thought I had materialized instantly. It's something that sounds like a true superpower... But it freakin' scared the crap out of me. I was not able to handle that kind of a power and freedom. My fears got the best of me. Hence my 'terrifying' experience. I look at it as a major purification. A lesson. A blessing. Thanks again. Much love and respect to you. @wesyasz That's very cool. Thanks. To be honest; was not expecting others to relate to this experience. It's great to see that some can. Well, I did experience complete disintegration without drugs as well. But as I mentioned - that was not as intense and mind-blowing as my first experience. I merged with infinite Love and Bliss too, but not before facing my biggest fears. Those were the barriers. I call them 'the guardians of exits'. Thank you! Glad you find the I information valuable. Infinite Nothingness is Infinite Will itself. The 're-emergence' was like a massive explosion of Source-energy. Felt like I literally was 'the big bang'. It was a pulse of Will. Pure Nothingness is a frequency singularity. No distortion whatsoever. There was no thought processing, or any other processing for that matter. Only stillness and silence. That is exactly what infinite freedom is. Out of nothing anything can be born. Love.

So I’ve had this “aha” moment, but it came and went. Then I went back to ego, fear, attachment, etc. I’ve experienced both ends of the spectrum... one end being complete bliss and unity, but the other being complete fear and loss of control. Why is this? Why am I afraid of letting go?! Why am I afraid that I’ll lose all sense of control and feel stuck again?

Here is an insight I discovered personally for myself. My mind and body doesn't work like everyone's. Its quite different, so this insight may be totally inaccurate for you. There are 2 camps in the no fap movement: the ones who say it doesn't work, and the ones who say it does work. Its a really heated debate, because both camps believe they are absolutely right. Both camps assume that what they believe is true for everyone. Both camps are incapable of admitting that bodies, minds are different, and for some people nofap is powerful, while is totally true for others that nofap does absolutely nothing. I've always been in the nofap is bullshit camp, and for me its definitely true. Nofap does absolutely nothing for me. I was doing some body awareness work today and discovered why that might be, and why nofap people actually get lots of value out of nofap. Within myself, I noticed that fapping (and sex with women) puts you in a state where there is less assertion and dominance and movement in growing kundalini energy, or prana or whatever you want to call it. For me, it puts you into a sedative, peaceful state, like a zen sort of no mind peace. It also reduces your desire to move energy up the spine. Growing kundalini energy, or prana energy is definitely useful and powerful, and if your entire spiritual practice relates to working with this energy, nofap would be extremely important. Yet if you mainly use mindfulness and consciousness techniques that don't rely so much on this energy, then nofap would have minor benefits. Working with such energy isn't really necessary or a requirement for contemplation, mindfulness, letting go, etc. The other thing I have personally noticed, is you can actually draw in energy without semen retention at all. You can draw in energy purely from consciousness. If you're at a vibrational state where every atom of consciousness is buzzing with bliss, then those atoms of consciousness can draw in energy into your system, and using semen is less required. As a corollary to that, I also feel like where your energy work is focused, greatly affects whether semen retention is super important. For me personally, my energy work is always focused in the forehead region. Yet if I was to do lots of energy work and focus it in the sacral region, semen retention would be more important. If I was to draw energy up from the sacral to the forehead, that would require semen retention, yet if I do (what I normally do) and draw energy from the forehead, then semen retention is less required. I'd love to have more deeper discussions about the precise mechanics of the energy system on this site in terms of semen retention. I personally don't think semen retention is either necessary or not necessary, but rather depends on the specific approach you're going about energy work, and different systems could cater for the semen retention route vs non semen retention route. I've never really resonated with the semen retention route personally. For me specifically, semen retention was like putting loads of focus and effort into a certain type of discipline that had no real empirical basis for effectiveness for me. I couldn't feel exactly how semen retention would benefit me, I didn't feel morally wrong for not doing it, I didn't feel like I was missing out or letting myself down. Infact I always felt like the amount of effort I could put into maintaining semen retention, would much better serve me in actual spiritual practices like kriya yoga or meditation, contemplation, qigong - all of which I got results from without semen retention, even though the books outlined it was necessary.

Of course it´s all relative. When I say "what is important" make no mistake I know that important here is totally relative. My intention of abiding as the Self is purely selfish from an EGO POV, I value bliss and peace over suffering and struggle. That is a preference and is relative and I accept that. As ego´s we are limited by that preference and I think it´s OK. And of course when I say "share the love and wisdom" with humanity, is more of the same. I know humanity care about good-feeling and peace over suffering or other explorations that might not be totally peaceful. This is not to say that explorations are bad, is just that most people don´t care about explorations. Having said that, there is people who prefer and show more interest in going deeper, in explorations kind of way as you said. I actually had a similar conversation some time ago regarding this, in this forum with a known user here. I was saying something like If Had been happy and at peace 24/7 I would have never started any spiritual search. He would say more or less what you are saying, that he entered into other realms just because of pure adventure and curiosity even though knowing it might be scary or terryfing. Which I value but I have never been able to empathise on a deep level since I have always valued peace and bliss before anything else.

@levani any idea what thats supposed to feel like ? I've had visions and feelings of peace, bliss and more but I dont know anyone that has gone through this process themselves other than the stuff on the internet. Also this feels more like anger, anxiety and restlessness, makes it hard to sit still and I end up having to exhaust myself physically to be relaxed

Nonmatter how chaotic and unpredictable everything appears to be on the surface, there is only one probe being sent through infinity, but as it's sending itself, it is seeing those instances when it has sent itself before and after as well, all around it, it's nested in this funhouse of mirrors. Each instance of being, as its exploring infinity, is nothingness but it is so focused on you right now that it can't be aware of existing as other beings while it is focusing on you, it is creating the illusion of interacting with many others, its all alone exploring and has all of eternity to explore, so it changes as it explores, allowing it to be infinite selves while being surrounded by those same instances of its own moments of exploration! So if you see your Mother, that means you have explored that instance already, so not remembering yourself doing that is enough for her to appear unpredictable to you and as an "other". This is you as the one being, playing hide and go seek, with just you, just you beside your damn self. You can change and forget that you have changed an infinite amount of times. That's how you can convince yourself that you are surrounded by an infinite amount of unique beings, who seem to have different motivations, personalities, and childhoods. Even looking into the eyes of an animal, is a more accurate mirror of yourself than an actual mirror! They are a mirror of your pure being or your ancient self in that one time when you explored that thing, everything around you is your pure self, you are taking an eternity to explore it in all the ways you can imagine, these ways somehow keep getting more fun and rich without end! If you were to only explore infinity in the 5th dimension, you would explore it all at once and be done with infinity without even getting started, so that's why you are in this 3rd dimension. Imagine being in a play where you play every character, one character at a time, but you run around so fast that it does not appear that you are changing into different outfits, but rather there is this group of beings that seem to appear all together on stage. You are not even aware that you are generating this fake party for yourself, as your own design has these anti-loneliness properties, featuring the ability to forget that you have put on the other costumes before. All that you are trying so hard to obtain here, will only amount to memories, so, why not reach Nirvana now? Feel the high that must be felt by infinity, what better thing could you even be? Feel the way infinity would feel, when it realizes that it's infinity, what a high it must be to know that each lifetime is this ever-increasing pleasure, not pain, you are a silly baby that will survive death, don’t you realize that you get to eat Tiramisu here and somehow all the dinosaurs are gone. That’s what ever-increasing pleasure and joy is! BE what you really are already, you don’t have to always play your game, be what you always were, forget that “human” thing, that's a garbage idea, a failed attempt to understand something by an Ape, you have been living as a dumb idea farted out by an Ape, ignorance is actually the fear you feel, like a scarred kitten. You are actually an explorer of every paradise and every good drama, it's not suffering it's a good drama that always gets closer to paradise, that’s what you will always be without end, not an Ape. Now extend this concept to the galaxies that you see around you, YOU were in those costumes too, hello? It only takes one, YOU specifically, sitting here now, as you are to do it all! Starting now, if you never forget the real reasons for your bliss, your bliss will NEVER forget you.

@nexusoflife what can you can say to this other than welcome home. That was probably the best trip report hands down ever posted here. All i can say is - welcome to Yourself. Welcome to the unity of all beings - of all Infinity. Of Truth, Love, Oneness, and Divine Bliss. Welcome to Godhood.

“You” can “experience “ infinity. Because i f you dont know what is infinite, how can you know that you have “experienced “ “infinity “. Many people experience nothingness with psychedelics, but because of the thought process still continues, you can never really really become nothingness. Nothingness can not be “experienced”, can just “be”. Because only when you “not know”, you can be nothing. And thats what the awakening is. Enlightenment is freedom, if you talking about bliss as freedom. Yes it is. Flawlessness, effortlessness. You are already what you are, instead of “you” are having “sex”, let go of the thought of “self”, and be the “sex”. 1000 times more feeling than as average person do. With an empty mind, be it directly. Because it is not “sex”, it is you (same goes for “love”).

I had my first experience with Ayahuasca. A romantic relationship fell apart the morning of the ceremony, so I thought for sure it was going to be a rough ride. But instead all I experienced was pure Bliss. The best way I could describe it is a Cosmic Orgasm. I was nonstop giggling and at times bursting out in laughter for hours upon hours. It felt like I reached the last level of the video game called Life, and I was let in on the cosmic joke. I became Infinite Mind, seeing how everything is just this Thought which leads to this Thought which leads to this Thought, on and on for infinity. The line that kept being repeated was, “This is it. This is it. This is it.” Meaning, this right here right now, is all there is. There is nothing else but This. This is it. Every time I “got it” felt like an organism, not in a physical/sexual sense, but like Bliss was enrapturing my entire being. Words fail to describe it, but it’s impossible for me to conceive of any greater, higher or more potent form of ecstasy. There was live music being performed during the ceremony, and it was like angels from Heaven were engulfing my entire world. I will never experience more beauty in my life - it’s impossible to conceive how anything could be any more Perfect. I’m not really familiar with the concept of Infinite Mind. But that’s definitely what it felt like I became. Just pure Imagination creating Reality one Thought at a time. Not “thought” in the regular ego sense, but Thought in the Cosmic sense, like pure creation. If anyone has any insights (or if Leo has any videos) that might help explain more in-depth what I experienced, please let me know. I have two more ceremonies coming up this week, so we’ll see what unfolds next

@Forestluv I resonate with a lot of what you said. To clarify, I've been living at the community where the ceremony was held for over two months, and I felt extremely safe and supported by the facilitators. I knew most of the 150 people in the room, including many who have become my good friends. There were several incidents of people freaking out, fainting, purging, etc, but it didn't have too much of an impact on me, thankfully. They were all attended to by the the support staff and were in good hands. I felt grateful to be amongst so many people dedicated to their healing journeys. The second ceremony was just as beautiful as the first one with similar levels of bliss. Lots of sexual / life force energy, at times it felt so good that it was almost painful. "Rapture" is the best word I could use to describe it. I'm left me feeling immense gratitude for Life and a deep trust in the infinite intelligence of the universe. Third ceremony is tomorrow night. Wish me luck!

If you have a mindset like Krishna, then doing something to somebody is fine, but then there is no vengeance or even hatred or anything negative, only the experience of seeing everyone as pure infinite souls which doesn't die and are bliss themselves, even with the cover of ignorance - therefore there is no remorse needed for anybody. With that mindset Krishna won a violent war. The one who derived this way of thinking is Kapila and that method of cognizing the world is called Sankhya. It is like a siddhi - remove everything in your innerspace by purifying yourself and establishing your thinking from the inner space of enightenment then even the bully will not be supported to harm your body. The power depends on the mastery. This is what in hinduism said. Other than that, the intention of the action matters, if you act out of that and keep spraling downward due to enimity, you will lose the track of your life's purpose and incur negative karma, the karma of violence. And both-ways, if you help somebody, serve somebody, do charity work, make somebody happy, cause somebodys life - you incur positive karma which accelerates you to your desires and purpose. Waste as little as time as possible and find ways to purify yourself. That is what I do. You want to take revenge, because you might feel there is nothing better to do. Go and search your purpose, do visualisation on what you want, look for your authentic desires - those who arise when you are in a good mood. Hope this helps!

@deso it all belongs to the other side anyway. Here's a simple and most powerful meditation for you that you can do at anytime standing or sitting. Give away your entire experience - all thoughts, feelings and sense perceptions. Imagine that you're pushing them back to where they came from. Relax your attention to objects and give them all away to consciousness - the empty space which holds them and where they came from. Keep attention bathing in this space of consciousness, that will purify your mind and you will become enlightened- easy and simple. only practice is between you and bliss

@Nahm Thanks! I don't think I would have challenged the shroom headaches without you. There's scientific studies stating it happens in approximately 30% of people and there is links to similarly shaped molecules that are used as headache medicine. It would have been really easy for me to just "blame the shrooms" and accept the headache as a part of my brain's reaction to them or as a property of the molecule itself. The only thing that made me doubt my explanation is your previous comment. It is indeed amazing and it really begs the question, what else do I just assume to be true that might not be the case? Problably a heck load of things and every one of those things is gonna be a bliss to find out @peanutspathtotruth I agree that's a better way to name them.

@deso I was going through something similar to what you describing. Still am to some extent. I am making an assumption that you do not have a life purpose yet and the best advice I can give you is forget all that crap about absolute, spirituality and what not and do what you gotta do - get your life together. Whatever that means to you. Why the hurry to awaken? You got all the time in the world to sit under a fucking tree in bliss but that's obviously not what you want. Do what you want to do. If your life isn't in the right order it's gonna be extremely difficult pursuing awakening or anything in that matter. Leo said something similar to this(can't remember the video nor the exact quoting) but the idea is the same. I didn't listen. Learned it the hard way.

When creating entities to do your bidding in life, a good idea is to make a list, then as soon as one group is finished a task, you can assign them a new task. Now your conscious is assigning these tasks with very limited view of the whole picture, while your unconscious has a 360 degree view of the entire picture, past present, and future and can make the right decisions on the tasks that need to be complete, compared to the conscious who only sees a fraction on a percent of the present, also remember that we only see 0.0035% of the EMS. That's a very small fraction of a percent. Surrender that ability to the unconscious and watch your life takeoff like a rocket. On this Planet earth there is about 70 Trillion (9^13) Entities, that's a fraction of the amount of entities we can create in an instant, instead of random entities you can create copies of yourself, 10^100, that 10 with 100 zeros after it, copies of yourself, people always say I just don't have enough time, well what if you have 10^100 X 24 hours a day thats 24^101 hours in a day, then will you have enough time. that is more hours than the molecules in all the seawater on earth (1.76^21 molecules per drop of water) If you add up the time it takes you to do everything you consciously know you need to do I can guarantee you it doesn't come close to 24^101 hours, so what do you do with the rest of your time? Have you ever been sitting around bored with nothing to do, I know it sucks, so there is many you's that still have nothing to do, and you'll spend all of your time figuring out what all of the you's are to do... An easy fix surrender this ability to the unconscious knowing that your unconscious, the real you, has all the best intentions for you even better than the conscious mind could ever dream of. Surrender this ability that you have just created to the unconscious, creating everlasting bliss in all areas of life for you. Share this knowledge with everyone Everyone asks what's the meaning of life, I can tell you this much it's not going to university and working at some boring desk job your whole life!!

Change Moods Instantly Does external things ruin your day, like the weather or maybe something went wrong in your life, maybe something didn't happen as expected, maybe someone died, whatever it is, your whole day / week / year / life doesn't have to be ruined. Why allow external shit to ruin your time. Now this is an exercise to develop these abilities, all that you need is a few minutes, acting skills, and an imagination. Remember a time when you felt extremely mad, (if you are unable to remember just pretend your mad) make a very mad face feel the emotion, do the hand gestures, pretend you're auditioning for a role in a movie, the whole process takes maximum 10 seconds. Now do the same as above but for Happy, Sad, Angry, Bliss, Jealous, and so on Here's a list off 400+ Emotions you can use, I never got all that extreme with this exercise as I was just a little kid when I did it, and am I ever happy I did as now I can change moment to moment, some want to label this as bi-polar and that is total nonsense, this is a skill used by the elite...