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@ivankiss again thank you, super interesting! So, the infinite Will is an instantaneous phenomenon without any prior "I want X so I have to do Y"? It just happens immediately, right? But how were you able to construct/reconstruct your "new" reality? And how did you know that you were willing to come back? For me it's a miracle that the Nothingness is Infinite Will itself.

@Muhammad Jawad That was an awesome read. Thank you for sharing. And thank you @abrakamowse for connecting the dots ❤ Definitely can relate. Especially regarding instant manifestation. Thinking reality into existence - in real time. Every single thought I had materialized instantly. It's something that sounds like a true superpower... But it freakin' scared the crap out of me. I was not able to handle that kind of a power and freedom. My fears got the best of me. Hence my 'terrifying' experience. I look at it as a major purification. A lesson. A blessing. Thanks again. Much love and respect to you. @wesyasz That's very cool. Thanks. To be honest; was not expecting others to relate to this experience. It's great to see that some can. Well, I did experience complete disintegration without drugs as well. But as I mentioned - that was not as intense and mind-blowing as my first experience. I merged with infinite Love and Bliss too, but not before facing my biggest fears. Those were the barriers. I call them 'the guardians of exits'. Thank you! Glad you find the I information valuable. Infinite Nothingness is Infinite Will itself. The 're-emergence' was like a massive explosion of Source-energy. Felt like I literally was 'the big bang'. It was a pulse of Will. Pure Nothingness is a frequency singularity. No distortion whatsoever. There was no thought processing, or any other processing for that matter. Only stillness and silence. That is exactly what infinite freedom is. Out of nothing anything can be born. Love.

Wow, @ivankiss, thank you for sharing this intense experience. You said that you came back on your own will. Is there any way to describe how the will felt like? How can there be will in this infinite nothingness as you describe it? Also you wrote: This resonates very much with me. But also here, how can you express your freedom when you in this infinite nothingness? I mean there was no thought process happening, right?

I am afraid of realizing this “nothingness”, and also feeling trapped in that nothingness. How can I overcome this fear?

Nonmatter how chaotic and unpredictable everything appears to be on the surface, there is only one probe being sent through infinity, but as it's sending itself, it is seeing those instances when it has sent itself before and after as well, all around it, it's nested in this funhouse of mirrors. Each instance of being, as its exploring infinity, is nothingness but it is so focused on you right now that it can't be aware of existing as other beings while it is focusing on you, it is creating the illusion of interacting with many others, its all alone exploring and has all of eternity to explore, so it changes as it explores, allowing it to be infinite selves while being surrounded by those same instances of its own moments of exploration! So if you see your Mother, that means you have explored that instance already, so not remembering yourself doing that is enough for her to appear unpredictable to you and as an "other". This is you as the one being, playing hide and go seek, with just you, just you beside your damn self. You can change and forget that you have changed an infinite amount of times. That's how you can convince yourself that you are surrounded by an infinite amount of unique beings, who seem to have different motivations, personalities, and childhoods. Even looking into the eyes of an animal, is a more accurate mirror of yourself than an actual mirror! They are a mirror of your pure being or your ancient self in that one time when you explored that thing, everything around you is your pure self, you are taking an eternity to explore it in all the ways you can imagine, these ways somehow keep getting more fun and rich without end! If you were to only explore infinity in the 5th dimension, you would explore it all at once and be done with infinity without even getting started, so that's why you are in this 3rd dimension. Imagine being in a play where you play every character, one character at a time, but you run around so fast that it does not appear that you are changing into different outfits, but rather there is this group of beings that seem to appear all together on stage. You are not even aware that you are generating this fake party for yourself, as your own design has these anti-loneliness properties, featuring the ability to forget that you have put on the other costumes before. All that you are trying so hard to obtain here, will only amount to memories, so, why not reach Nirvana now? Feel the high that must be felt by infinity, what better thing could you even be? Feel the way infinity would feel, when it realizes that it's infinity, what a high it must be to know that each lifetime is this ever-increasing pleasure, not pain, you are a silly baby that will survive death, don’t you realize that you get to eat Tiramisu here and somehow all the dinosaurs are gone. That’s what ever-increasing pleasure and joy is! BE what you really are already, you don’t have to always play your game, be what you always were, forget that “human” thing, that's a garbage idea, a failed attempt to understand something by an Ape, you have been living as a dumb idea farted out by an Ape, ignorance is actually the fear you feel, like a scarred kitten. You are actually an explorer of every paradise and every good drama, it's not suffering it's a good drama that always gets closer to paradise, that’s what you will always be without end, not an Ape. Now extend this concept to the galaxies that you see around you, YOU were in those costumes too, hello? It only takes one, YOU specifically, sitting here now, as you are to do it all! Starting now, if you never forget the real reasons for your bliss, your bliss will NEVER forget you.

Nirvana or enlightenment is realization of nothing has never happened (birth, death, universe, infinite, life vs just happens within the process of thoughts, which is naming, labeling and putting meaning on the words and thoughts. Even saying thoughts to “thoughts “, words to “words”). Unfortunately, conversations quoted above is just the story of ego. Because, ego is alive (just a thought as a thought ), not You. ? There is no life nor death, you are already what you are. ? Additionally, do you guys think that these are conversations or words or you are alive and talking in forum? If answer is “yes”. It is because “you” “think”. ? Thats what so called “ego” and so called “self” is. ? There is no “you” nor “thinking” , Now is before birth. This is the Truth. Definitely ?✊ All is “nothingness”, which is You.

“You” can “experience “ infinity. Because i f you dont know what is infinite, how can you know that you have “experienced “ “infinity “. Many people experience nothingness with psychedelics, but because of the thought process still continues, you can never really really become nothingness. Nothingness can not be “experienced”, can just “be”. Because only when you “not know”, you can be nothing. And thats what the awakening is. Enlightenment is freedom, if you talking about bliss as freedom. Yes it is. Flawlessness, effortlessness. You are already what you are, instead of “you” are having “sex”, let go of the thought of “self”, and be the “sex”. 1000 times more feeling than as average person do. With an empty mind, be it directly. Because it is not “sex”, it is you (same goes for “love”).

I think dreams shows us how reality is getting created, just first a sort of blankness when falling asleep then instantly manifestation, you are taking a role as an " ego" and other people are as real as here. God is the dreamer of the universe but we as contracted and limited versions of GOD can generate our own world with dreaming. As above so below. Leo is exactly right when he says that reality is imagination. All we ever do is imagine shit. But still a human form of dream is not the same as when GOD is " dreaming" for he has infinite power to manifest things which is not even possible to comprehend for us in this form. Unlimited imagination is the only thing which nothingness uses to produce an experience.

Definitely?✊ Because, mind can not think or cling of nothingness, letting go of the mind make “the one” can just “be”.

Nothingness is all there is. There is no such a thing as “knowing, grasping, I, magical or reality”. Only when “you” not know, “you” can “be”.

@Javfly33 Can you grasp WHY nothingness is aware? I know it is, but I wanna know more, It is too magical not to be curious you know?

Yes. If everyone was at an advanced enough stage of enlightenment it would be as if the earth was one giant collective consciousness. Think of the ideal family who's values align so perfectly that there is never any issues. Now extend that family to everyone on the planet. At an advanced enough stage of enlightenment, all resistance to what is ceases. The duality between selfishness and selflessness is shattered. The idea of doing anything to harm another person seems ridiculous. The idea of taking from others to suit yourself seems counterproductive, because everyone IS you. Once you realize your groundless nature and your identity becomes completely fluid, it makes more sense to abide as the entire earth rather than as an individual. You don't have to tell someone not to cut off their own arm haha. Anyone who claims "full" enlightenment doesn't come with complete morality simply hasn't reached a high enough stage of enlightenment. Enlightenment is different for everyone though. Morality is simply one aspect of awakening, just like an awakening into equanimity, infinite intelligence, or nothingness.

@OBEler well, I started with psychedelics with the idea of transcending the ego, and all this horror was obviously the ego struggling not to be transcended, so I saw in it a perfect tool. If you think about it objectively, there is not so much to fear, it is true that there is the possibility of very intense fear, but the mind knows how to adapt and it is quickly forgotten. In addition, each experience is one more step in the understanding of the ego. instead, the possible benefits are enormous: liberation. I'm not saying it's at that point, but the difference from when I started is big. What changed? At first you can't even imagine what is an ego death, after you start to get used to give up . The nothingness is purity

Absolute infinity is no more than a concept just like absolute nothingness in the sense that neither can be experienced. That's the nature of experience. For experience to even exist, there must be a finite aspect to it. But also, there must be SOME aspect to it to experience, even if it's just experience itself. That's why you can't experience absolute nothingness, because absolute nothingness is absolutely nothing, including the lack of experience itself. BUT you can intuitively know that your true nature is both absolute infinity and absolute nothingness. The duality between the two collapses. They're two sides of the same coin. Your true nature is beyond even experience. It's the invisible (invisible not just by sight but by all senses including the sense of being) infinite intelligence that even allows experience to exist. Solipsism itself doesn't NEED to be a truth just as the concept of a flying spaghetti monster doesn't need to be a truth. In fact, because both are language, they CANNOT be truth. Both exist as concepts but no more. The philosophy of solipsism is useful because can POINT to what is. Essentially solipsism is an incomplete description of the subjective experience just as any definition of God is an incomplete description of God. Your true nature is completely non dual - neither solipsistic nor not solipsistic. For most people, though, it helps to work on a more solipsistic view, because for most people that's the opposite side of the coin. Most people are too caught up in the paradigm that every sentient being has a separate mind and experience.

I've found contemplating the difference between somethingness and nothingness to be more effective. It can lead you to realize that there is no such thing as death. You've been sitting in the same spot for eternity, in pure emptiness.

I took part in a year long online group reading of Beelzebub's Tales to His Grandson in 2017. Being that it was a small group, it became an atmosphere where we sometimes shared our inner world along with our self observations. It was all saved to Google Drive. The following is what I shared at the end of chapter 43. Thoughts on empathy and compassion in relation to Spiral Dynamics. I’m not claiming what I wrote was spot on. I’m sharing it as just food for thought. Anyone feel free to give an opinion or question me. DS - More on not expressing negative emotions. I mentioned in one post about the ‘payment’ I felt when achieving this aim in a time of stress. It feels like resolving a disparity in a small puzzle piece of my shadow. On the other side is specific kinds situations in which I continually fail. When I become more than just dismayed and disgusted at my inability to stay awake, a big shift can take place if it causes me to see and feel my own nothingness. The nothingness of my personality/ego self. Regarding The Tales being overweight in Patriarchy, misogyny, and other biases against the feminine. I've been pondering on the second tier of Spiral Dynamics as being Gurdjieffs intended territory of destination for his persistent readers. The first level encountered in the second tier is yellow. It has a multiperspectival approach to learning and gathering information and living in general. The yellow individual is more interested in understanding accurately someone's view than they are in labeling it. This multi-perspectival kind of awareness is key. It turns every offensive or seemingly ignorant perspective into a curiosity or a mystery to figure out or understand why it is that people perceive the way they do. But this requires the kind of impartiality that Gurdjieff is talking about. Enduring an injustice,,,, or being emotionally abused and tormented by someone for months or maybe years. Being ridiculed,,,,ostracized ,,,, and mocked. These situations grow us in terms of 'being', faster than anything. That is, if one isn't traumatized beyond recoverability. But at the same time, the amount of intensity needs to be enough for one to be pushed into a kind of state that one has never experienced before. This experience reveals more of what being 'identified' is about. This is a part of second tier awareness. That's where green and yellow differ in terms of emotional suffering in connection with wanting to be a protector and an advocate of compassion for all apparently disadvantaged beings. From outward appearances green looks more 'spiritual' than yellow. That's because yellow has more impartiality that can be interpreted by some as cold and detached. People in yellow are not as apt to experience the feeling of pity toward others because they realize it perpetuates unnecessary suffering and is an attitude declaring the Divine to be inept. In the second tier it seems pity is completely replaced by empathy.

If my experience is of any use to you, for me nothingness, infinity, call it whatever you want, it was absolute horror, death, and now it seems to me the most wonderful. the difference is in me, not in the infinity obviously, and that difference has been produced in about 4 months thanks to this substance. it's an amazing catalyst.

Nothingness is usually experienced as fear, as the mind mistakes death for something real. If you keep being conscious as you fear, what the fear is in reality, it is just the experience of being rapidly aware of something. It appears as there is nothing there, but if you keep at it, you will understand what that "thing" is. In the many "nothings" that I've experienced, none of them were experienced as a loss after I died. On the contrary, all it requires is to give up beliefs about the world and see for yourself what really is true.

Love is the wormhole to God, since God is Love. Replace your fear with Love. Love truth, reality, and consciousness so much that you forget all about fear of nothingness or death. That is the way.

Nothingness was a recognition that occurred when the sense of self that casted meaning and value onto everything died. What remained was an incredible empty happening.

@Endangered-EGO Ego curling up has some kind of content in it, usually like a void, it is the ego trying to escape some kind of suffering that it believes it cannot handle. Nothingness is the nothing that is everything. There is no expirence, execpt the Nothingness. Everything you expirence is expirenced as the Nothingness. Emotions are like vortexs yes. The fear is a reaction to something about your ideas of what Nothingness is. As long as you keep making distinctions between pleasent sensations & unplensent ones it is. Not saying that is easy, just it is useful to notice. There is just the senstations. Ego death doesn't have to be painful & fearful, it is just that we usually associate death with those things. The ego will of course want you to think that it is going to be horrifing, because it doesn't want you to realize that it was all a made up fiction.

if i'm god, why do i feel like i'm just a human? and don't tell me that that's what your parents told you, because they're an illusion too right?. Why don't i just exist as god/nothingness/consciousness/whatever and that's it. why do i have to meditate or watch some video to realize that? isn't god not bound by time? maybe what i'm asking is why does this illusion exist, and to realize that you have to go to some country and get fuked by a zen master to realize that! Why all this drama? i really wanna make sense of this but i can't. and i know that i can't make sense of this by thinking about it because thinking is just more dreaming... BUT WHY??? why the fuk is it this why and not another why? (Please don't look at this as multiple questions, try to see the full picture of what i'm trying to ask). (and if you're gonna answer this question by telling me that my senses aren't sharp enough or some bullshit like that. YOU'RE NOT GETTING THE POINT). (and of course the question isn't really "If" i'm god, i'm not questioning that fact, i'm not newbie i've watched so many of @Leo Gura videos for many years so this enlightenment is not new to me).

@OctagonOctopus Well the trauma was in reaction to eternity while being high. The next 6 months where I experienced it, I would describe it as the nothingness without love. It is exactly what is described: eternity, reality being a dream, nothing has substance, no self, no other (all alone). It came at random moments during the day, at the gym, while eating, in class etc. The first time was terrifying, but afterwards it was mostly empty. The fear of it also didn't show up after I stopped experiencing it regularly. Fear of other things came afterwards. I am really not sure. You know that love can elevate your concentration towards something, it's easier to focus on a pleasant sensation than on a neutral one. Fear also absorbs you into what you fear, the more you fear it the more intense it gets, the more you fear it. What's the difference for you between ego curl up and nothingness?

The nothingness you expirenced could have actaully been a trauma reaction where the ego bascially curls up into a ball and shuts everything out & not Nothingness. Emotions are based on concepts and beliefs, emotions are reactions to the concepts that are constucting your entire sense of self & reality. Torturing the mind? What do you mean? The greatest love you can do for yourself is to realize fully what you really are.

"The dark night of the soul" is often misused to mean nihilistic depression. Well not really misused but there are 2 types of dark nights. The christian and the buddhist. Christian is a nihilistic depression dark night. In the zen/buddhist term, the dark night of the soul, pit of the void, enlightenment's evil twin is the fear of nothingness. In psychology (DSM-V) it is refered to as Depersonalisation/Derealisation disorder. Both "dark nights" can be a result of meditation. However what you're describing is not the buddhist dark night. The only teacher who talks about that is shinzen young, I recommend you watch his videos on the dark night of the soul: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zIKQCwDXsA&t=1s