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Yes, this seems to happen. Don't worry about it. Go for nonduality.

**If you yourself haven’t actually surrendered to your own death, died and experienced God/Truth/Infinity, I request you not comment, as you’re in the same boat as me, all conceptional and non-experience based opinion.** --------------------------------------------------------------------- Leo, If everything in life is imaginary and I (God, whom I’ve yet to realize in actuality) am creating this eternal moment, then that should mean that everything I heard about death is false and just as illusionary as everything else. So if I am immortal and eternal, then my (the Identity Ego) death is as inconsequential as waking from a dream. But everything the Ego is about is survival, staying alive, so how do I commit to my death, when everything I am doesn’t want to die? Is it a leap of faith? You have to have the will to die, commit suicide, commit fully to the end of your existence, standing strong in the faith that enlightenment is on the other side of that committed choice? I was an Atheist all my life, up until I discovered Nonduality, so death being the end of existence is still deeply ingrained (all a story I created, I know), even if I now know that I cannot die, at least in theory via stories from other people. The key is I need to experience myself as Nonduality, to finally ‘know’ Truth/God/Infinity/Omnipotence. But to do that I need to fully commit to my death. Otherwise I’ll just fight death with everything I’ve got to fight it off, to stay alive at all costs (including my Awakening and liberation). Which is what happened last time I did 5-MeO. Now I’m trying it again, and want to not fight it to stay alive, but to fully surrender to experience Truth. But how can I if everything in my Identity is trying to stay alive? Catch 22 is it not? How does one commit and surrender to their death if everything they are does not want to die? How does one commit suicide (Ego death thru psychedelics like 5-MeO or DPT), if they desperately want to live? I know you and others say it’s not real death, that you’ll come back after, but I don’t know that for 100% sure. I mean from everything I’ve studied over that past 2 years tell me I will come back, but I won’t know for sure until I experience it for myself. Even if I was 95% sure, that 5% would prevent me from committing to surrender of my life to death. In Nonduality, everyone says the goal is to actually not come back. The goal IS my death. So again, how do I surrender to death, without just saying ‘you just do it”, how do I have the will to commit suicide (again, talking Identity Ego death, which is apparently the same thing as conceptual death)? I’m 44 and have spent decades doing every drug I could get my hands on. I’ve done LSD and mushrooms hundreds of times, I’ve done hash, Ketamine, Nitrous, 5-MeO-DIPT, Ayahuasca. I’ve even done 5-Meo a few times, to little affect. About half of these experiences lead to me having a panic attack, thinking I’m dying and trying to fight to not die. But these drug experiences were all to enhance my reality. And 5-Meo is about ending it. So all those past drug experiences are not relevant to this equation. Is surrendering to death on 5-MeO the same as surrendering to a drug? Letting the drug take you wherever it wants. Is this surrender the same as surrendering to death? I know conceptually that all those past experiences never really happened, as my past experiences are imaginary (apparently), but I won’t know that for sure, until I Awaken. But those hundreds of instances of panic attacks and fighting to not die, are real to me, as I’m an Ego, thinks his past is real. So you see the catch-22 / vicious circle? How do I trust, when the request is my very death and the end of my life? I don’t know if I have that much trust in me, to gamble with my life. So what advice is there to be able to choose that trust, to take that leap of faith, to chose to chose to end my life? How do I trust that if I kill myself, I’ll Awaken to Truth/Liberation/Enlightenment, and not just be ending my consciousness, potentially robbing myself of maybe another 40 years of a decent, it not flawed life? Now I’ve learned that the only way to Awakening/ Truth is to be in that same space of feeling like I’m dying, panicking again, but this time I have to choose to die, instead of trying to save myself. But how can I do that, willfully commit, surrender to my death? How can I choose to die, when I can’t, cause my very survival and life is all that matters to me? Could really use some advice on this.

@Shaun Yikes, I'm sorry to hear that you are having a tough time of it. At least we accomplished something here, though. We got to the heart of the issue. The most urgent issue for you is not that you can't seem to find the right woman The most urgent issue is not that you have sexual desires and that they cause you suffering The most urgent issue is that this nonduality stuff is depressing you! You took too much, too fast in your enthusiasm to be on the 'right' path. I would say keep a meditation habit and stop all the other stuff that's making you feel bad. There's no need for it. As Leo says, the nondual explanations he offers in his advanced video are not meant to be taken as gospel. They are all false, untrue, by definition, because they're putting the inexpressible into words. So all that 'reality is an illusion' bullshit is of no value to you until you have awakening experiences for yourself. And then you will see how false the words are, and how actually not depressing the truth is. I'm not speaking from experience. I've never awakened. That's why, however interesting, I don't look for meaning in this nondual stuff. It's not relevant to me (yet). My two cents: take a step back from the theories about reality that you read here. Almost no one knows what they're talking about, because if they did, they would know that it's inexpressible with words. You can ask actual enlightened people if you need answers. Maybe @winterknight wants to weigh in here? Be nice to your ego. You're stuck with it forever, it never goes away and you need it. Feed it wholesome things. Give it what it needs. Practice self love. Look at Maslow's hierarchy of needs, honestly, and assess what parts you need to work on before you arrive at the level where this nondual stuff starts to even matter. Most importantly, re-learn to listen to your intuition! All this overthinking is probably clouding it. But you do have that soft, but determined voice somewhere inside you, that tells you what you really want, what your purpose is from moment to moment. It's a great way to live spiritually, because when you master the skill of hearing your intuition, you can start to gracefully play out the role that God intended for your particular ego, and it will feel great! Getting therapy is also a valid step in self-actualization, so do consider that, too, if you need something to ground you. I wish you strength on your path.

Sound advice, thank you. I'm definitely not after a 10/10 woman as I'm not a 10/10 guy. I will be taking action soon to get my head sorted out after taking in too much nonduality teachings from Leo and then I will try and get out a bit more.

No, you're not being an asshole, it's a valid perspective based on how it looks from the outside. I read into some of those threads and there is a guy there who didn't even bother with pickup and ended up in a happy relationship. All the stuff I have learned about nonduality over the past few months has damaged me probably beyond repair for the rest of my life. I don't have the creativity or drive any more for a life purpose. The best I can come up with is winning the lottery or installing/servicing electric vehicle charge points. I am going to get the proper help for these issues but I just keep getting haunted by the idea that reality is just an illusion of my making and i'm totally alone. That's the general consensus here anyway.

What do you think about the messages of nondual teachers like Tony Parsons, Jim Newman, and Paul Hedderman. (Youtube them if you have the time) Tony Parsons talks a lot about meaninglessness, and this intrigues me. Sometimes the notion of meaninglessness is like a sick feeling in the gut, other times it feels like a weight being lifted, but it always some kind of emotional rollercoaster when I listen to talks about nonduality, it is a bit shocking and I couldn't imagine having a mundane conversation about it at a bus stop or a park (although it would be lovely!) A course in miracles also speaks of meaninglessness, but from the perspective of the ego thought system. ACIM basically puts the metaphysics this way: the egoic thought system projects meaning and purpose (knowledge) onto the world and seeks security in that form of knowing, like miscreation 101, the original sin, missing the mark, making an innocent error. The course then subtly transitions to "God did not create a meaningless world." The paradox of duality is displayed in the two statements "Nothing I see means anything" and "God did not create a meaningless world." Maybe the perception of meaning is the error, and Tony asserting that the world is meaningless is just smacking the ego's hand and saying you've miscreated by attaching your own personal meaning to the universe. This personal universe is one in which I stake a flag in the ground and say "these concepts of meaning are my own, they are a testament to my knowledge and understanding, and they give me security in a world I truly know nothing about..." A universe beyond limitation could hold no meaning except by the whole. What believes it is a fragmented and limited part could only perceive a fragmented and limited concept or meaning of reality, since by its own limitations, its can only perceive a "slice" . Where is @Faceless when you need him, box with me man. What do you think @winterknight? Edit: While proofreading I noticed that the statement from the course "Nothing I see means anything" probably means physical sight in terms of perception. The statement "God didn't create a meaningless world" is a metaphysical statement. I think that is worth dwelling on.

Not necessarily. If Nonduality is true and all this is an illusion, and death is a story, then it's likely that once this particular version of existence has 'ended', then all of the illusion will end with it. As Leo has said, my family (as is everything and everyone) doesn't exist. They are all dream characters. Once I wake from this particular dream, they don't exist to morn.

There suddenly being no more me, and being God creator of everything, seems like a big deal. I honestly wish I didn't know anything about all of this, and someone just came up to me with 5-MeO and said "here try this". And then got to learn about Nonduality after the fact.

A) I don't know what you mean by that. You are painting with a broad brush here. People experience and realize different things. Nondual consciousness is not a state of ego, it is the absence of ego, and the realization that your true nature is nothing and everything, or infinite, or God. There are many people here who are unaware of many things. Just because they have some degree of realization does not mean they are aware of the deeper layers. Ego dissolution also has layers and degrees of depth to it. The ego is a complex and relentless structure. It takes a lot of deconstruction work to fully get beyond it. B) Do not start yet another nonduality debate.

Nice story bro, but Truth is everything and the only thing. Psychedelics can certainly take one there. Of course here and there are nowhere and one and the same. Truth is both temprary and eternal. It is all and nothing. There is nothing but states of consciousness and you are in a state right now, regardless of what it is. All states are part of the Truth. Whether it is formed or formless is irrelvant. These nonduality debates are getting really silly.

This is just false. Psychedelics are not merely "an experience", they can take you to the Absolute. Just because enlightenment may not require an experience shift does not entail that an experience shift cannot lead to an enlightenment. Psychedelics do not merely change one's experience, they radically elevate one's degree of consciousness -- which is the whole key to this work. Psychedelics put you into an instantaneous samadhi state. From this state one can contemplate and realize all sorts of things, including one's true nature or various facets of the Absolute. The reason you're making this mistake is that you're trying to understand psychedelics in terms of some traditional spiritual paradigm like Buddhism, Zen, or Vedanta, which tend to discount state changes -- but psychedelics are a totally different path so it is inappropriate to judge it from those other paradigms. Psychedelics can take you to levels of understanding and awakening which are simply impossible otherwise, or else possible but extremely rare and only for exceptionally gifted practitioners. It is correct that you will not be able to permanently lock in a psychedelic peak state 24/7. But that is an improper expectation to begin with. Psychedelics, when used properly, can absolutely take you to the highest, most Absolute Truth. Of course the real trick is integrating it and embodying, which requires a lot of additional work. Psychedelic insights and realizations square up perfectly with those of Buddhism, Zen, Vedanta, yoga, Christianity, Islam, and any other serious mystical tradition. Shunyata, Brahman, The Self, no-self, ego-death, Allah, God, nonduality, Shiva, Buddha, nirvana, rigpa, samadhi, Mu, Infinity, The Void, Nothingness, The Dharmakaya, the godhead, union, Absolute Consciousness, satchitanadna, Truth, Love, kundalini awakening, Nibbana, formlessness, etc. -- all of this and more you can realize on psychedelics.

Nothing can come from nothing. So nonduality teachers talking about nothing are deluded I suspect, or are big conmen/conwomen. Even to say no-thing is confusing, because what is a thing? They need to define what they mean by thing first. EDIT: I came to think that there is also a third possibility: that some spiritual teachers have to be somewhat vague or misleading or the powers of the global ego might attack them and take them down. There are huge ego interests in protecting profit, social control, established collective egos and so on.

There are many different styles and varieties of seekers coming from many different standpoints and schools. For example, you might find a community of seekers if you went to Tiruvannamalai in India (where the Indian sage Ramana Maharshi used to live) -- though you might also find a lot of other people. And clearly they will be seekers influenced by Maharshi's teachings. You will also find seekers in various Buddhist monasteries and retreats, Hindu ashrams, and so on. You'll find seekers at places like the Science and Nonduality conference, and also around any of the prominent Western spiritual teachers, though obviously those seekers will be influenced by and in the style of those teachings. Maybe you could consider watching some interviews on Buddha at the Gas Pump and see if anyone resonates? By watching what they say and what they do and how one feels about them and in their presence, one can get a sense over time of whether they 'get it' or not. Though in a sense it's limited, because the ultimate truth is that there are no enlightened people, there's just enlightenment.

Depends on what you call 'awakening'. If you mean a direct glimpse/realization into one's true nature, then any good nonduality teacher should be able to give you one within few minutes, given that the person is open minded and willing to follow that philosophical inquiry- either through a video or face to face conversation or through a book.. In that sense, dozens wake up like that in any nonduality retreats, Rupert's included. But if you mean firm establishment into that true identity, then no. No one can give you that. That's when the real game begins. You are not seeking anymore. You've found it. And now you are making it true in every situation all the time. And that requires conscious relinquishment of all the ideas associated to oneself and erasing one's habitual structures- and that happens simply due to inattention or non-engagement in those patterns as one only genuinely contemplates about one's real nature and sinking into that. In contrast to that, the peeps in 'progressive paths' are still seeking. One should be intelligent enough to see this distinction. But hell! even those who do find a glimpse in retreats forgets about it and starts another round of seeking some new fantastical thing once again lol. The perversion of the intellect. So it generally requires being in this circle for a while, have multiple 'awakenings' to finally wise up and see that one is not really coming or going or growing or diminishing- one is ever the same- that intuitive understanding slowly untangles one from the fantasties of new seeking and experiences- and instead encourages one to sink into Being

I dont recommend or discourage enlightenment. Its not a cutting edge diet plan. Those who are meant to get it, those with necessary dispassion and introspective samskaras(latent tendencies) as opposed to extroverted samskaras, will get it when the time is right. Enlightenment doesn't harvest a goodie nor does it solve the human problem. It simply dissolves that human and the whole 'chabang' that goes with it (as the inlightened nonduality warlord likes to use that word ?) But unfortunately most "spiritual teachers" wouldn't spill all the beans due to marketing issues. I mean who in the world would sign up for a teaching for suicide. Virtually none. Many would definitely romanticize about it, but not the real deal. I merely try not to spread misconception and maybe show a signpost here and there for those with doubts.

@FrankTheTank I understand it looks that way from your POV, but you do not yet understand how radical Absolute Truth is. It cannot be doubted. The end result of openmindedness is Absolute Truth, at which point you are beyond the mind entirely and you are never going back nor will you ever compromise with ignorance. Don't mistake openmindedness for compromise with ignorance. Not all positions warrant serious consideration. Once you taste nonduality you will never take dualistic positions seriously again.

Dude you’re point is irrelevant. Yes and you can meditate all day long and that doesn’t make you enlightened. Much less worshipping a sole person that were calling a guru. To say asceticism just neurotic nonsense is itself nonsense. This is a conceptual and cultural fantasy. Look at the story of Buddha beyond not your rigid dogmatic Indian culturally distorted lens. LOL this notion that God is some dualistic thing you’re learning from is a cultural fantasy. That somehow some fucking mountain is somehow more special than any other mountain. This is fantasy. Everything is God. Everything is Shiva. Nothing is more Shiva than anything else. Ramana Maharshi had his massive enlightenment in his room as a 16 year old and spend years in a temple meditating in such a deep trance that he almost died. Your clinging to some fucking mountain as more special is cultural baggage. Yes there’s probably a lot of strong subtle energy there but that doesn’t make something more Shiva than anything else. If you’re REALLY trying to suggest Osho wasn’t enlightened then you’re kidding yourself. Period. You can be deeply enlightened and still have your life in shambles. That doesn’t discredit Osho nor anyone else’s nondual consciousness and understanding. Bodhidharma is from India. Not that it matters. You’re making such a silly distinction. Mahavira is a strong influential force in India. Once again. Cultural conceptual baggage and stories. Look at the actual person’s life. Don’t give me some religious scholastic story that bears no evidence nor accuracy. Having a lineage and tradition that works for you is different than submitting yourself to some other person. Those are two different things. Having a teacher you go to and eventually go beyond is very different than purely being a discipline and sannyasi to Sadhguru for example. That is what’s what’s being addressed here. Kali is Om. Om is Kali. Om is very much aware of that. Youre nitpicking is you not wanting to look at the actual story. The far majority of deeply enlightened masters did most of the heavy lifting on their own. This brings more results because those people have a thirst for Truth so they take full responsibility for their craving. Which is why even most people who are into nonduality in practice often don’t go all the way. They don’t want it enough. Which is to say though should. However, those rare indivuals go to the source directly without distraction. No guru is going to do the work for you nor was it going to do it for them.

I can relate to every word you say. My spontaneous awakening also started with a psychosis (it was SSRI induced, but whatever) without any pre-knowledge about spirituality, nonduality or anything. And it happened 2017 as well, by the way. I was also deluded and did a bunch of stupid things and thought of myself as a god and a messiah, but still I know that experience was IT. The state was a genuine awakening. If only I had someone to guide me then and help me differentiate what was true about my state and what was illusory and ego-driven. Eventually I got "cured" but anti-psychotic medication and eventually it all faded away, my ego got constructed back and after some time my previous mental illnesses got back as well. Though to this day I strive back to getting back to the same state, this time consciously and knowingly. And seeing the truth and then losing it pretty much hurts. But ok, no more about me.. What I would advice you is not to lose that remnant of a nondual stage that you are experiencing, even from time to time. Continue research about awakening/spirituality/nondualism, watch leo's videos, and try not to cling to the previous "experiences", although they may have been marvelous and life-changing, and I believe they were. The state you once spontaneously reached needs to be worked on, integrated in everyday life, or else the ego will soon take all the strength back, as it did in my case. Try to remain in a real reality as much as you can and do not chase after "mystical" experiences. Synchronicities and everything are real, but that's not the main point of realising the Self. Youtube videos and spiritual books could be a great guide for you. Also you can message me in case of any questions. Best of luck <3

Nonduality/God is not a confirmation bias or a mental projection. Psychedelic effects are very consistent as the science shows.

@Pouya Very good question. The mind sees what it wants to see and interpret. But the opposite scenario is also tricky. Its not like if one is tripping without any knowledge of nonduality, their minds are totally empty or pure. There is always a shit ton of stuff there and thus whatever is inside comes out.

I've never really considered or pondered the possible infinity characteristic of other dimensions beyond the physical dimension . I even forget the latest number theorized about the number of dimensions existing. I think arrived at mathematically....? Then there is Time, whatever it is. I could see it as a dimension, in a way. Does it connect duality and nonduality through human lives lived? Yes, I guess so and then some,,, Humans as meso or meta-bridge? Bridging dimensions? Comments welcome,,,

Well actually when it happened most frequently was back like 10 years ago when I was in my late teens. Back then I didnt really do much spiritual practices, I only smoked weed and did some casual meditation now and then. I would say my consciousness is alot "higher" nowdays but I still have a harder time performing astral projection at will. Nowdays it happens randomly now and then, usually when Im newly awake in the morning. Always starts with intense (nowdays almost painful) vibrations mostly in my spine/skull. And Im fully aware of the experience, its like a lucid dream but much more real and "conscious plus the fact that you are fully aware of the actual separation from your physical form, and its all but an instant shift of consciousness (like dmt-breakthrough is), instead its slow and goes limb by limb pretty much. I get the feeling that many nondualists may neglect the possibilities of many layers to this specific game/art of forms we're in. And instead only jumps directly from this here to the absolute. Source is one and everything, this is not new stuff. But that doesnt mean there cant be illusions of more stuff between this illusion and source/god/nonduality.

Right. Very few of us are in a state of permanent nondual consciousness. Not even Leo entirely. This is why the illusion of separation can make a great tool to stop the ego from self-identifying and getting inflated. The "I am God!" half-truth can quickly become a game of narcissism. Nonduality to fuel the duality. This is why wisdom is so important. Handle knowledge with care.

It wasn't a discussion of Vedanta, it was framed as a nonduality war and devolved into that. Threads which split hairs over unspeakable truths are not helpful, they just get folks riled up and defensive as folks talk past one another. 5 blind men and the elephant syndrome. It's literally a debate about nothing.

@Inliytened1 the nondual nonduality