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@Hello from Russia This is a very trick topic. Yes, for survival (illusion) cause and effect is great. But at the level of Absolute Consciousness, cause & effect are a total illusion. This cannot be thought about. You must enter a totally nondual, Absolute state of consciousness. Cause/effect = duality If reality is ONE, how can it be caused or be an effect? You must have two parts for cause & effect to be viable. So within duality there is cause & effect but within nonduality there is not. Another way to phrase it is: cause & effect is relative.

All my prior reports of 5-MeO have descended a step down in my intensity scale in comparison to this one. Dose: 36mg's 5-MeO-DMT Oxalate (Some leaks during administration). ROA: Plugged. Duration: 1.10h Set&Setting: Sufficient, could have been better. I ate a couple of light meals before doing the trip and I took 50mg's of Modafinil when I woke up (noon). I administered at 8 pm two hours after eating a pineapple after a day full of egoic distractions. My sister was home, my mother came home in the middle of the trip. Report: I had a calling for 5-MeO, and immediately I was showered with excuses on why I shouldn't do this today; I didn't have a good day, I was not strong enough, etc. But after my last trip, I came to realize that a calling was sufficient to initiate a trip. The calling would not come if I would not be authentically ready. I weighed out the 5-MeO, did my Kriya, took a shit, went to visualize love and surrender, then I prepared the syringe and administered. I went down to sit on my couch with my iPad filming from the right side of the couch (this didn't bother me). I lightheartedly set an intention to experience infinite love during this trip as I assumed that this would be a breakthrough dose based on previous trips. As I sat down, the casual monkey mind started playing and I quickly forgot about my intention. I sat comfortably on my couch and I felt ready to surrender into death. I started sensing that familiar butt sting and soon after that -while having a smile on my face, amused by some thought that came around- the smile quickly turned serious and I noticed that the trip has begun. I started to sense the body load and the fear coming up, the thoughts getting a bit more serious, but no awareness as of yet! Almost like my body was reacting against the awareness, successfully blocking it for now. I kept my eyes open and my heart started beating faster and faster, I started breathing faster and faster but then it quite suddenly calmed down and I was left with a familiar sense of frustration and disappointment as I thought that this was the extent of the trip (I based the strength of the trip on how fast my heart was beating lol), I noticed this and decided to ride it out and see how much deeper this would go. I started getting more aware, the monkey mind disappeared and the body load got heavier. Slowly, these effects got more magnified until my heart started racing again, and I was breathing heavily once more, but I was not feeling the rush as clearly as before under the strong body load I was experiencing now. At this point, I noticed that my sense of self started shrinking, but this was not as clear as in my previous trip as this time I had my eyes open, with my focus on the outside and not the inside. I started getting uncomfortable, some light fear started coming up, I felt as though I was almost constantly residing in the "flinch" (a term describing the emotional state you experience in the decisive moment of going to do something emotionally difficult). I surrendered into this by trying to shower whatever came into my experience with love, and so that would eventually break through into love, which made the discomfort disappear and left me in this beautiful super calm state until another reason to be afraid popped up in the mind. I surrendered into the discomfort by kind of going "meta" on the discomfort (disindentifying with it, observing it) and then trying to shower it with love. At the peak, the body lead was quite heavy, I would have about 10% of my sober strength available and that felt quite imprisoning. I was constantly surrendering into fears that regarded the body load but mostly regarding how absent the ego was at that moment. I could clearly see whatever thoughts were arising, and objects in front of me started losing their meaning. I was in such mental peace that my body reacted to it in a magnificent way, the jaw moving around "in awe" and my face occasionally making certain expressions. This was definitely a state of no-self, as "I" was completely absent but the world was still there. Some questions of "who am I" popped into my mind without any sort of answer. The mind was subtly bringing up Leo's teachings of nonduality and all of that, especially concepts coming from the latest episode (Understanding Duality). I just sat there, in awe, mostly looking at one point in my room (my salt lamp in the gaze in front of me), but I would occasionally shift my gaze to my legs, hands, the floor, etc. There were some very subtle visuals, almost like reality was permeated with a layer of "blinding spots", like the colors you would see after looking at the sun, but this layer was originated as if though I would have looked on a really bright version of the room I was looking at! Comparable to the subtle visuals you get when holding your breath... At one point, I was amazed to discover that the difference between my body sensations and the color of the sky I was looking at was melting away. The color blue became my body sensations because the thought that would commonly immediately separate them apart didn't appear at that moment! But I was having some trouble with melting the duality between green and blue. I then relaxed my gaze into my pants and my neck became a little uncomfortable from that, and from that arose some thoughts worrying about the body, but I surrendered that, reminding myself that I might actually die but that's okay and that was somehow comforting. As I looked into my pants -without intention- for like 3 minutes I suddenly noticed that I have no idea of what the patterns in my pants are representing! And then some thoughts came up regarding the patterns like "oh, that's a flower", "these pants much have been intentionally made!" and I found those facts to be quite amazing at that moment as I was also observing the thoughts as they arose right out of nowhere. Towards the end of the trip, the body load was so bad that it became quite frightening (if I would not surrender into the fear I would have panicked), I was not experiencing any nausea, but I was worried about my body temperature being out of wack, especially as the window was open. I eventually gave in to the urge of closing my window and covering myself with a blanket, and as I did that I felt safe! And any thought that came after that was met with love and gratitude. I turned towards the camera and spoke calmly a summarization, but I loved admiring the elevation of authenticity I was experiencing. My mother was worried because I had locked my door and not answered the phone and as I hear her walking around in the corridor, It was very easy for me to put myself in her situation, into her first-person experience and feel what she was experiencing, and that makes me really compassionate. It made me also cringe on how selfish I used to be around her, virtually never putting myself in her shoes. Eventually, the body load subsided as I got distracted by the iPad. Insights: I need a stronger base of knowledge! As I was looking down at the patterns in my pants I realized that the magnificence of the pants resided in how I thought about them! And as I sat covered in the blanket, I was having a lot of happy thoughts, which enhanced the experience. What if I would contemplate reality daily, what if I would do self-inquiry? What if I would read 100 books, how satisfying would reality be then? And how would that affect the trip, would it make it deeper? Yes. Just like that guy that got enlightened when he was 4, he never realized that because of his lack of knowledge. I need to give more love and be less selfish. I went on to watch my first vlog ever recorded (which I spent some minutes laughing and cringing to the day before) and now as I watched it during the comedown, I didn't cringe, I just put myself in my own shoes to understand how I felt back then, and I got amazed by how calm I used to be back then! If im laughing an cringing, I ain't aware. I need to be more compassionate, putting myself in other's shoes in order to relate to them and to love them. Duality resides in the mind! If al thought seizes to exist, I believe that you would quickly realize that awareness permeates everything you see (taking the form of everything you see) and it can take on the form of anything, and so it happens to also takes the form of deceiving thoughts (duality) and tada! I need to make more art. What if I could give myself to an art, and forget all this struggle, totally committing myself to my art and living it selflessly? Just like Jiro, the sushi master, doing his thing in ecstasy. The peak was quite uncomfortable physically, but it helps if I enter with strength! If I can take a cold shower and surrender into that with love, living my life closer to my full potential, then I can say with confidence that the capacity to surrender into upcoming trips would be enhanced. If you immerse yourself in thoughts, you quickly become unaware by design. This is why it's impossible to imagine the truth! Thoughts can never grasp (describe) consciousness because consciousness comes prior to thought. Thoughts can never describe the color red because the color red comes prior to thoughts! Thoughts can never describe the observer because the observer comes prior to thought. This trip was not a breakthrough but it contains some valuable lessons for me moving forward. Next time administer 40mg's, trying to avoid leakage. Next trip will be planned beforehand so that it's done on the morning in a more comfortable set&setting. Thank you for reading, my love!!

Yes, this is a huge issue. What the world needs more than enlightened gurus teaching nonduality is a bridge from where the world is now to a place where folks can just be openminded enough to buy a book about nonduality. Which is why I teach a lot of stuff besides strict nonduality.

Oh this is most fun Easter egg hunt I've ever had the privilege of participating in. Stephen Moleneux is an enlightened devil. My friend just called me and I asked for the thing that upset her most about Stephen Moleneux, she loves him. She said she couldn't understand this. She's attracted to guys who hurt her, she can't stay away from them so how could this be true? "The moral argument for integrity in relationships is simple: Love is our involuntary response to virtue, if we are virtuous. We cannot love those our values define as evil/immoral. Either they change, or our values change, or there is no real relationship. That’s the “cult.” https://mobile.twitter.com/stefanmolyneux/status/1108558087139426304?fbclid=IwAR3Og1uwV8YTzsSr5FRGyp5hGIJe2-IcjA_3Yve1LMWuuHQnUWvfvRpK5Bs Nonduality teaches us that there's no such thing as virtue, virtue is the ego, virtue is evil, virtue blocks us from real love/enlightenment. The question is, what is Stephen Moleneux trying to point out to us exactly? The whole world is out to enlighten you.

@Identity There's something extremely important going on here, with him as a piece of greater the nonduality pie, but I'm not ready to put my finger on it.

What I hear this guy describing in this interview is kinda what I hear from you with all your awakenings with 5-MeO but he’s having this just naturally. He’s describing literally thousands of deeper and deeper states of consciousness without any sort of external leverage like a guru, teacher, or psychedelic. These cases like Sadhguru, Ramana Maharshi, even Ralston who describes his staggering amount of work (the talent aka inherent capacity still has to be there in order to be actualized)... I personally have a hard time finding relating to these people because it’s like relating to a human fantasy in most cases. It’s like being a good runner but comparing yourself to the world record holder in the marathon. I thinks it’s tricky because these people don’t seem extrodinary so it seems like “well yeah I should be able to do this then.” These people are not your average no-self level enlightened people. Which is why I’m glad you emphasize depth because that’s something I see in any domain that’s not nearly emphasized enough. Much less the domain of nonduality. Glad to see how humble and “ordinary” he is though. I can’t exain how refreshing that is. Nonetheless, I do find these cases who have these abilities absolutely fascinating because it’s shows what’s actually possible for a human being (whether it comes naturally or not) and sparks there curiosity for how dee human potential and understanding goes.

Can’t tell you how much I think about this. Especially with technological advancement, I think where a lot of people get stuck is idolizing the past and not envision what’s possible with nonduality with things like AI and what not and also modern day chemistry (psychedelics). We need to stay current and keep our vision in line with what’s unfolding in all the other domains. However, like any model, it will not be universal for all people... as far as I can conceive. At the end of the day, everybody is unique in their strengths, talents, cognitive weaknesses, brain chemistry, personality types, (social) conditioning and indoctrination, (mental) health issues, etc. I think the search for an ultimate integral process (and I distinguish that different than model - even though I think models will still collapse if we take it to this degree) will fall apart if we’re honest in the needs of every individual which I think can’t be avoided in a consensus for a new integral spiritual process that merges science and spirituality.

@whoareyou I feel like we are on the same boat. anyway this topic went way too far than I expected, my intention wasn't criticize or laugh at Leo, (it's not personal) I hope he is not identify himself with his teachings all I wanted was to point out an obstacale, that Leo might manifested when you're so obsses on something you're to close to see that you're digging the wrong tunnel so you're chasing your own tail or the the holy grail, which doesn't exist (a phantom) and you miss the whole point like there is a beautiful carnaval of life outside the window but all you do is focusing on that one speck of dirt on that window, which you call enligthmented (I need this, I crave it - which only creates more resistance) instead of enjoying life now all of the sudden, you need happiness with capital H, you need love with capital L, good with capital G, nonduality - you named a list of new requirements only then you will be worth it, you will be there fuck that why instead of chasing or pursuing enlightenment, like the donkey with the carrot simply just attract it and let it land, let it come to by your way of living and the person you become and not missing a life

Seems like a very intelligent and openminded lady but she just misunderstands many of Leo's teachings... In my opinion working w blurring the lines between the samenesses and the differences is the foundation of contemplation and nonduality. If dualities are not broken down (like physical vs nonphysical) then one will have trouble accessing the deepest states of nondual conciousness... Furthermore, I do not believe that Leo believes in a "false self" and a "true self"...these concepts are teachings aids for helping one understand the process of self inquiry. The false self is identifying w differences between you and God (ego) while the true self is realizing those differences are arbitrary and that you are the same as God. The false self and the true self are not seperate but identifying w the false self is limiting and will result in suffering. Also, about universal intelligence...with more contemplation about nonduality and spiral dynamics and ego and survival...it is impossible to ignore the intelligence of creation... What is the alternative? Believing that all these beautiful and complex systems exist by accident? And dumb vs intelligent is but another duality. I intuit that God is constantly learning from it's own experiences...which is why everything seems to be trending towards higher conciousness and deeper integration.

@moon777light I have been doing Vipassana meditation for about 2-3 years every day and have been on multiple grueling retreats... The only way I'm going to have any nondual glimpes are with mushrooms (like I had today). The meditation as a daily practice is super super super important and is the foundation but if u want to go really deep ur gonna need some type of psychedlic. Be careful...there are many traps, most of which are adequately covered in Leo's videos. Furthermore, contemplation about the nature of duality and nonduality Sameness and difference has been instrumental in allowing my mind the necessary flexibility to achieve nondual states of conciousness. In my opinion learning and studying nonduality is key... Personally, I put most priority on daily meditation and listening to nondual teachings and contemplating. Then, every few weeks or so I drop shrooms and get fucked by God. Then try to reintegrate. It's working so far because I had a super deep awakening earlier today. Patience, faith, and consistency is key. Also learning and studying everything Leo talks about is also key. Please forgive me for the sporadic nature of my response for I am typing on my phone and am still coming down from a trip... peace and love to you

Ken has a very robust grasp of awakening and nonduality, and much more. His work is not just about awakening, it is about stages of development and various kinds of pathologies in this work. Awakening is independent of one's stage of development. Both are important. To awaken but still be stuck at a low level of development is very common and dangerous. If your teaching only emphasizes awakening and nothing else, it is a narrow and incomplete teaching which will produce a lot of problems if it's taught to lots of people. Stages of development are extremely important and yet they are virtually unknown to most teachers and traditional teachings. Which is why so many spiritual practioners come out half-baked. You cannot understand stages of development by sitting on a meditation cushion, even if you are the best meditator in the world. Introspection is not enough.

@Shaun @bejapuskas I wouldn't say I am looking for anyone to be particularly compassionate to me. I'm just being honest about my views. Often all we get is, do the work! You do not exist! I guess it's my own problem really. Still, doesn't make it any less tough. @OBEler I'm still talking with her on and off. She's 1000% committed to Jesus and God. I live in the UK, by the way. She's a Romanian who lives here, and Christianity is still huge over there. She's currently hanging around with a few missionaries from the U.S. who are over here for a while. She wants me to go and meet them with her for a chat. The thing is, I am skeptical about Christianity, even though I am officially a Protestant Christian within the Church of England. But, perhaps this is my ego speaking, I feel as though I could be prepared to do work into believing in Jesus and God much rather than nonduality.

nonduality is true science

Jed McKenna inspired obviously. Would love to hear Leo break down his take on these concepts. McKenna states that 99% of people who think they want non-dual truth realisation actually want what he calls Human Adulthood. With Jed McKenna's books being so damn quotable, I think it would be a very entertaining video especially if interspersed with quotes like in the Aztec Nonduality video. With the video both being incredibly informative and wildly entertaining, it would serve a dual purpose, thats irony for ya. "Human Adulthood is the real prize. Anyone who is involved in spiritual pursuits is actually pursuing Human Adulthood but probably doesn't know it. Enlightenment is all about going and never stopping. Human Adulthood is all about wandering and exploring and playing"

Yes. When the nonduality and consciousness of God gets really intense it will literally make you feel sick to your stomach. Although I've never actually had to follow through with it. But if there was food in my stomach I would have probably vomited. Sometimes you feel like vomitting simply by realizing how full of bullshit your entire understanding of reality is. I have never run into problems tripping solo. That's with around 30-40 trips. But I am very careful when I trip. Solo tripping is ideal if you are responsible and careful. Bad trips will happen, but you just tough them out, letting them beat you up a bit, reminding yourself that this is how growing is done. Ideally you become your own shaman/guru without needing a Mommy.

2012 about 11,000 hours 70% or so in nonduality.

@Shaun glad you managed to get out of it and get back on track. That does give me some hope, but feeling really hopeless. I don't know if I buy the whole nonduality narrative, but I can't discount it, that's the issue. I know that the Self is an illusion though. Either that or we have a soul and our mind is our soul in some way. I just don't know. All I know is, I am fed up of all this.

Would love to hear the actualized.org community's perspective and advice on my confusion and situation I am 17 years old in highschool coming to the end of my junior year. I've been lucky to have been exposed to Leo's content at such an early age indeed. I've been watching for about three years solely understanding theory of personal development and consciousness work. more so consciousness work because of my great curiosity of epistemology, metaphysics, and what reality is at a fundamental level. But also i realize how both personal development and raising ones consciousness needs to be integrated in a wholistic manner. I've come upon a great resistance in the process of this. You see the way in which the modern education system works is that the kids spend the majority of their life in school and the in between time of changes you make, many cannot see. In my case beginning in freshman year i cared about others opinions a little too much and had never been in an intimate/sexual relationship, so i was having problems and was finding solutions and i stumbled upon Leo's channel. This was when i discovered personal development and spent all of my time outside of school watching and understanding the concepts. At that point and as of now i am feeling the loneliness issue. I've known people for years from school because we grew up from elementary and had friends in the past but i have no friendships outside of school whatsoever right now and just seeing them in school is not enough of an interaction to create friendships usually. But i have realized the ignorance of these people over these past three years(mainly because this is the default position of my age group in this society and time). Now i haven't done all that much research on diet but i've implemented a whole foods plant based diet which i love. I feel firmly that my conceptual understanding of life and reality is at Yellow from my open mindedness and curiosity primarily. I want to raise the consciousness of humanity and integrate that with my life purpose etc. etc. etc. BUT LOOK AT ALL THIS. i want to do this and embody my understanding and make it concrete in my life but i feel resistance. i have Orange sexual desires. Desires for looking attractive/approval, friends, social circle most that this stage tends to exhibit and partake in. i want to exhaust and integrate the elements of this stage that are in me(explore sex create relationships) but the girls and the people all just do drugs and don't understand diet and eat Mcdonald's and everything that qualifies as shit food, their notion of god is not even close to that which is the absolute or that it all could be all one and that she/he is it, they have no open mindedness and can't even handle setting aside their dogma on maybe JUST ONE SIMPLE TOPIC NOT SOMETHING EVEN WORTH IT LIKE NONDUALITY?. I know it's long but just wanted to give you guys as much context as i could. To put it clear cut, should i try and find a way to integrate this stage of developing masculinity and exhaust sex and social circle even when my environment doesn't resonate with me whatsoever or just forget about it and only focus on personal development? It's hard because the lower stage of Maslow's hierarchy is calling to me and i crave those things but it's hard to function in my environment and be myself (which correlates with masculinity and attraction) and i want to integrate and transcend these tendencies to move on to the life i want to create. How do i embody my understanding with an environment like this? can i even? or should i just be alone? Please help! i would appreciate it And if you all can encourage Leo to see this in some way it would change my life!

+nonduality

Greetings community, I just got accepted and there is no better first post than to introduce myself ? Name: Iulius Age: 34 From: Timisoara, Romania Occupation: Emerging Life Coach Never married, no kids Hobbies: Hiking, fitness and Taekwondo, Traveling and culture, studying spiritual practices and religions, nonduality, psy-festivals, meeting like-minded people. My story of Ascension began in 2013 in a vacation in Hungary. It was the worst state of my life. I was very overweight, in a bad relationship (for which I now hold myself responsible), a dead-end job, anger issues, toxic atheist, excessive smoking and drinking, excessive gaming and other things I am not very proud of. One day while camping I saw a very funny painted VW parking with many happy young folks that looked like hippies. Something drawn me to them and I went to say hello. They were very loving and friendly and I offered to help them set up their camp which was full of Indian God's blankets, psychedelic trance music, LED lights, everything beautiful. After we had dinner together and talked very deep topics, one of the guys told me about spirituality and that he believed I should try Changa (a DMT mixture) of which I knew nothing about. He told me it has the potential to bring out the best in me by revealing deeper parts of who I am. He seemed very trustworthy so I accepted the offer. What was about to happen were the most important minutes of my life that would change my world view forever. I wish to describe shortly what I remember. He lighted a very aromatic wood called PaloSanto and created a very cosy atmosphere. He put the DMT in a pipe and told me to inhale fully. I did just that and when I released, the whole reality trembled and disintegrated into fractals and colours I never seen before. I try to ask him "is this for real" and he smile kindly and told me to enjoy, go inside myself and that we will talk after it's over. So I did just that. I sunk deeper and deeper up to a point where there was nothing but an all loving, infinite, timeless blueish dot. The love I felt in that moment was so true and present, that simply trying to describe it envelopes it in an egoic-mind construction and ruins it. I also saw myself young and I understood why things are as they are without blaming anyone not even myself. The trip ended in layers of reality coming back and when I started to logically think about my experience it slowly faded away. I knew then and still do that we are entirely responsible for our thoughts and actions. I felt great after the trip and I contemplated all evening. Long story short, the next days I quit smoking and I went jogging. To this day I still do. I got into fitness, nutrition and in one year I lost nearly 30 kg and became a fitness instructor. In the same time I started reading self help books and listening to vlogs. That's when I discovered Actualized which impacted me the most and propelled me further to pursue this path even deeper. Today, 5 years later I am becoming really good at what I do, practicing life coaching as a volunteer while I am developing my website. Although I am original in my own way of expressing my value and service, I can't help but integrate what I learned on Leo's videos. I know how important having a life porpoise is, and using system-thinking, seeing the bigger picture though Spiral Dynamics and many more. Thank you for accepting me guys ❤️ and I hope to share a bit of value in the future. Great work Leo being such a great manifestation of the divine and dedicating your life to serve humanity.

I don't think I know what this means in the digital world. . . Are you literally saying to discuss nonduality with hand puppets? Or does the phrase "hand puppet" mean something in online terms? Although nondual performances with hand puppets kinda sounds cool to me. . .

I don't think this is a unique situation. I only have two people in "real life" that I can talk nonduality and one of them is a bit unstable, so really just one person I can talk with on a regular basis. And that is after about a year of searching. . . I spent two years with nobody to talk to about it in real life. Just people online and I traveled to Peru to live in a high conscious community for a while. The question about personal identification is hard to answer. I would say about 70% of what most people consider the "person" has dissolved. For example, in the past when I went out with people, I would talk a lot about me and my story with an underlying intent to serve self needs - to look good, get approval, get the gal to like me etc. I was really immersed and identified with the story. Now, it just kinda feels like a movie I watched or a book I read. Somebody might ask where I grew up or what I do in life. It just sounds differently to me now, like I am talking about a movie character. I also don't have all the opinions and beliefs I used to have. There isn't such a desire for things to go "my way". I'm much more fluid with the flow of life. Yet, I talk about "my" story often in spiritual contexts - yet it is more like talking about a movie I watched. I tell "personal stories" as examples, because I know them best. They can be useful for human interaction and connection. Letting go of the attachment and identification was really hard for me. My mind-body experienced a lot of anxiety and fear. Especially about the unknown. Yet walking through that and letting go, is sooo much more peaceful and easy-going. Trying to protect and maintain a psychological self is sooo draining and causes so much suffering. I would say that the personality is still around in a sense. I used to think that I needed to get rid of anything "personal" and I needed to be like some empty no-self monk that was in a state of empty bliss all the time. . . That isn't my experience. My mind-body still gets grouchy. It still gets annoyed. It still experiences fear, love and sorrow. It is part of the human experience. Yet the attachment, identification and desire to meet self-needs and wants has greatly reduced. This opened up a whole new realm I never new existed. I should also probably add that my environment is pretty calm and peaceful. I have a steady job and feel financially secure. I live alone in a quiet house and neighborhood. I don't have the responsibilities of being a parent. So, in that respect it may be easier for my mind-body to relax and go with the flow. Who knows, I'm just following intuition and "winging it" at this point. . . It's just getting created out of thin air and I don't know where this train is heading. . .

@Serotoninluv I was never a huge thinker until I came across nonduality or the 'new age' etc. My issue is that, I really don't have anyone to discuss things with, that I can trust. My father is on his own path, but while he preaches everything that a spiritual path seems to dictate, he does it in a very forceful and aggressive way. Which seems quite absurd to me. He's not got a lot of patience. I phoned him this week to come and see me (I've never done that in my life). I spilled out everything. Told him I was suicidal etc. He didn't seem to take me that serious and got quite aggressive. What he was saying might make sense to a lot of people here, but if anything, I think looking at it now, it has pushed a wedge between us. Would you say you identify with yourself today? Like, do you feel that person you always thought you was is still sat within your head? Or are you 'vacant', for want of a better word...

It’s the equivalent of trying to get enlightened by meditating 2 min a day. Combine consistent psychotherapy work with a good solid consistent spiritual practice and you will get to the source of this shit. You face them a lot quicker. Which is threatening to a lot of people who have psychological issues (some very legitimate due to their own brain) because now they’re taken out of their comfort zone of ‘one day I’ll face my issues and they’ll be resolved’ and then now they have to put their butt on the line and face them. Finding a good practitioner though who can facilitate both of those things is very hard. Maybe look into Shunyamurti from Sat Yoga and do a retreat with him. Give him and email. He responds and he’d be happy to help you out. He’s done a great job as far as my outside perspective goes in combining psychoanalaysis (particularly Lacanian and Kleinian), hypnosis, shamanism, etc. along with nonduality and spiritual practices. He can be of a huge assistance to you if you can come out to a retreat of his.

So it is Wednesday and tonight I got drunk again yay. (It has been a week). Now on the spiritual path many people preach "addictions" and "bad shit" and "alcohol" and "carbs" and how all things have to be avoided to be "enlightened". Lol. But nondoership. You see, at some point, you become aware there is no you and you don't have control over what you do. You are just along for the ride! Well I am drunk, so should I be feeling guilty for drinking? If so...how do I feel guilty for being drunk when I am not a doer, I didn't get drunk as there is no I to get drunk. Consciousness used to to get drunk to experience this moment, as a drunk. Do you see the problem here? On one hand these teacher preach nonduality and nondoership. On the same hand, they preach how you gotta give up all of lifes pleasures to become enlightened. MAKES. NO. SENSE. Therefore, is a teacher can't even distinguish the hypocrasy in that, how can you trust them at all?