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@tlowedajuicemayne nice. I liked how you said every moment in history lead to that exact point as the fiction is. It really does feel like that. Within the dream, you think I'm just taking a psychedelic, but then you look back at every point leading to your awakening and it was all just a master plan, planned from the highest good and Love. Everytime it just drops my jaw to the floor in shock and bliss.

Do you know what jealousy is? Jealousy is knowing that you could be doing so much more than what you are doing. It's a shitty feeling but it's good because it points the way. So what way are you trying to go? Follow whatever resonates and don't be afraid. This means, don't judge. Don't be critical. Don't see whatever it is you are looking at as separate from you unless you are trying to learn from it. The mind believes it's separate but the heart knows it's not. Follow your heart. Follow your bliss! How much can you love? If you don't know, what are you jealous of?

I feel eternally grateful and full of love and bliss. So thankful for you sharing and for this forum!! Ohhh youuuu!!! hahaha. Well, it came at the perfect time because I just read a chapter in a book last night that was another expression of this and if I didn't read that I might not have understood this. So everything is happening in divine order– as always.

True story: once a guru had a connecting flight in an airport. She then went to find somewhere to sit and wait. She found a nice seat, next to a middle aged woman. The middle aged woman took no notice of this woman, that was seated next to her. In a few moments, tears of bliss and surrender, was flowing down the middle aged woman’s cheeks. Crying like a small baby. That is how you know, that someone is enlightend.

The Mind Illuminated by Culadasa Seeing That Frees by Rob Burbea Right Concentration by Leigh Brasington The 2019 Practicing the Jhanas retreat on dharmaseed by Rob Burbea Yeah it certainly is life-changing. Makes sensation-seeking utterly laughable. Even pleasure itself is unsatisfactory relative to the otherworldly bliss of the later jhanas.

I was talking in terms of pure physical pleasure and bliss. It beats heroin and cocaine, but generally 5-MeO-DMT; mushrooms; etc can have the potential to be a bit stronger. But yeah TMI by Culadasa is good for building the foundation. Once you have mind control you can essentially produce as much bliss as you want, any time you want it -- like more pleasure than you can stand. A really solid 2nd jhana (nowhere near as amazing as it can get) can have so much pleasure it's actually agonizing. I'd say it takes maybe 2 years to get there if you're serious, but even in the first month of actually getting the hang of it, a meditator will be quite happy.

I don't know man but I don't think meditation at least without many years of experience can get me into a state similar to my first mushroom experience which was 2grams lemon tek, the amount of love and pleasure on every part of my body while I was conscious that I'm God I experienced in that trip was absolutely beyond my imagination and out of this world like I was in fucking heaven man. after that Trip I worked a lot with my life force energy and meditated on my heart chakra a lot but no, nothing even close. the closets to that experience was the bliss and joy I could induce with Microcosmic orbit meditation but even that is far far away from that state. any meditation you know that can get me this high?

Had my first experience of God on LSD in April and this song was playing in my headphones at the time (Sea of voices by Porter robinson). Earlier that day I'd taken one tab of LSD and about 8 hours had gone by at this point. I had some small insights during the lsd experience but nothing crazy. I smoked a little weed with some friends thinking that the trip was over. It wasn't. Once the weed hit my system it knocked the wind out of my lungs. I got an intense feeling that I should be alone in a dark, quiet place. I told my friends that I was being called to be alone and I went into an empty bedroom with my meditation cushion. I sat down on the cushion and waited. The room glowed and colors were vibrant. I looked at the large California king bed in front of me with its large solid oak frame. The lines in the wood wiggled and swirled around in a pretty way. Then all of a sudden the bed and I entered dharma transmission. Full on telepathy. It spoke to me directly without words and it told me its secrets. We engaged in dharma war. I don't know how to explain what that is, i don't think that there are words for this kind of thing. But essentially, I showed it my spiritual practice and it showed me how to deepen it. I deepened it, and met it on a deeper level and it showed me how to go deeper. We did this together time and time again and every time I met it on deeper levels it was happy and excited that I was able to do it! It was pleased that I was practicing this without psychedelics and that I had meditative insights without drugs. The bed and I engaged in telepathy until i was conscious enough to begin showing the bed how to go deeper and expand its understanding. It was so pleased! Suddenly my attention shifted. I looked around the room and began to notice that all of history has led me to this very moment. I saw the light come in through the blinds, the dust in the air, the little items on the bed frame and realized that everything that ever occurred in my life led me here. To this moment, in this place. I didn't know what was about to take place in the coming moments. I spent a while looking around at the room and noticing how beautiful it was. I would occasionally go into a dharma transmission (telepathy) with inanimate objects and liberate them. The world was pleased. Suddenly, Out of nowhere I put my hands in the prayer motion, It was as my body were being controlled and had no autonomy. Tears rolled down my cheeks but I didn't know why. I began to witness all of the things that I had done in my life (as a human), it passed me by in a single second yet I saw everything with profound clarity. The good and the bad, the ugly. The bad things that I had done struck me mercilessly to my very core. I felt so awful about myself and how ugly I was. Then suddenly, out of nowhere I bow as hard as I can. I pressed my face against the floor so hard I nearly broke my jaw. Then it happened to me. God. GOD. GOD!!! IT took one look at all of my ugliness, evil, self hatred, pity, envy, jealousy and all the things that make me terrible and before I could even speak a word, I was immediately forgiven. I let out a cry so hard it was as if I'd never breathed air before. I let out all the air in my lungs in a single breath I cried so hard. I've never felt acceptance like that. I didn't know love like that was even possible. I couldn't see God, I could only see white light but I knew it was there, just out of view. I dared not look, it was far too Holy to even dream of looking at directly. The divinity was so intense that I didn't' dare to even breathe. I let out all the air in my lungs and choked...then before I passed out, It breathed life into me and I breathed it out...choked till i almost passed out...etc. As I was nearly passing out again and again, it was pure ecstacy. Choking and nearly dying again and again was pure bliss. When I thought it couldn't get any better, a feeling came over me that said 'look at me!' and I looked up and I saw God Directly. I was shocked to my core. It wasn't a man in the clouds, not a ruler, a king, or a transcendent being. It was a bed, a blanket, the sun coming in through the blinds, the carpet, the walls. It was physical reality. I looked down at my hands, and saw that I was also it. I looked at my hands and saw that they were made of the same material as everything else. Suddenly I became one with the fabric of reality. I was alone, as my Self. No more tears, no more divinity, no more special-ness, just I AM. A thought appeared that said 'What is it?' and my attention focused so hard on a point in space, smaller than an atom. I focused so hard, yet effortlessly till space and time itself broke open and what was there? What was I made of? Nothing at all....NOTHING. Emptiness. Forever. I laughed harder than I'd ever laughed in my life. Of course its nothing! How could I have ever forgotten this?

Yeah...and as another mentioned Alan Watts. You can be a mystic and still have addictions. It comes down to whether the mystic desires to overcome their addiction or not. Because they are totally self aware and have the ability to. To me the most pristine and blissful state is the sober state...just resting in Being one can bliss out far greater than the euphoria you can experience on alcohol- without the come down or damaging effects alcohol will ultimately have on the body. So it's a no-brainer. It surprises me that someone as wise as Alan Watts would still allow himself to be a slave to a drug. But perhaps there was a hole somewhere within him that he used alcohol to fill and did not have the desire to overcome his addiction. I don't know..but enlightenment itself can liberate one from the need to do this - so again, surprising to see guys like this not overcome their addiction. But then, once you have transcended death you may just not care about survival anymore. He may have just lived out his days precisely as he wanted to.

@Someone here Microcosmic orbit meditation! It may not work for you immediately but it got me to the point which circulating energy in those pathways brings a lot of joy and bliss for me, also makes me very sexually aroused too sometimes.

I remember watching an earlier Actualized video before I got serious about consciousness work where Leo made the claim that our radical baseline consciousness could be radically transformed. It was a killer sales pitch and I fell hook line and sinker. This was a couple years before he become so overtly pro-psychedelic. In many ways, it’s because of Leo’s old teachings that I’ve had such success with practice… hearing this dude claim I could make such transformations was really inspiring and for some reason I just had faith he was right. It wasn’t necessarily Leo, but something Leo’s words stirred inside. That instinct to go within has been the driving force that’s continued to push me further and further, to the point where my baseline state is starting to actually become psychedelic. Hundreds of hours of practice later, a lifetime to go, and nothing but gratitude for stumbling into Actualized.org. The irony that I now so vehemently disagree with my first spiritual teacher is… shocking. 1 hour per day of meditation for 2.5 years 2 hours per day of meditation for 1 year 3 meditation retreats of 80-100 hours of practice in the last 9 months Aggressive psychedelic travel, entering into foreign dimensions, past lives, parallel lives, meeting my ligh body/soul, horrific experiences, heavenly bliss, absolute Love and God, stepping into infinity, into the divine. Reading copious amounts of material from a wide variety of spiritual masters. Metric fucktons of passive contemplation while going on walks, hiking, exercising, working If one wants to truly know the truth, ironically all they’d have to do is apply the principles Leo teaches rather than believing the language Leo speaks. Actualized.org is an actual goldmine. “You can only lead people as high as you’ve gone.”

Before you read any further in this post, please read my first post called "Accidental Ego Replacement, a doorway to the Occult and God" as this is sort of a sequel to it. This post details the events which occurred following my disenchantment with a certain psychic training program. I had desired to win the lottery(on purpose, no chance or luck involved) at the time, but felt that the results I was getting while impressive were not perfect and therefore I needed to find some other method. So I discovered lucid dreaming, and begin studying the subject. And found that I could become lucid, command a piece of paper with information to a desired question(lotto numbers in this case) to appear somewhere like behind a rock or something. Remember the dream, win the lotto and profit. At first I struggled with it, tried many methods reality checking, usage of subliminal, substances including Huperzine-A. But then a breakthrough occurred via a certain binaural beat track I had purchased. I noticed the first night of using it that my dream recall went through the roof, and my dreams became massively vivid. So I kept up with it, hoping I'd be able to become competent enough in the dream state to achieve my goal. On the fourth day or so, I became lucid and tried to manipulate the dream environment. Only everything I attempted failed. I would try to walk through a wall and bounce off, and all it felt so real but I knew I couldn't have been in the waking world. I knew this because at one moment, I was in a Rolls Royce Phantom my mom was driving. She's far too poor in real life to buy a half a million dollar car, though I suspect she subconsciously desires to have one. Anyway, after that I wound up in another city about a mile north of my home. I was at a restaurant with my dad, conversing with him over my failure to manipulate the dream. In my wildest imagination I would never have anticipated what he said. I said to him "How do I create reality?" to which he replied "We already are creating reality". I woke up dumbfounded. I thought to myself "This means... I'm the creator of the entire universe.... I'm God!! What, no that can't be. That means I created Adolf Hitler, it means I created starving children in Africa. Why would I do such horrible things? Unless... when I made myself I took my divinity from myself, and now as a human I'm seeing reality in a distorted manner." In other words, I didn't have the basic objection of, oh well if reality is imaginary why can't I just imagine myself flying? I felt bad about reality, but realized that I couldn't deny the truth of my "father's" words. To understand fully my response to this. You must understand that I had successfully engaged in psychic phenomena in the past. I knew at this point that my mind is somehow Omniscient. So logically, I knew it only makes sense that I must be God. If I am all knowing for example, how did I come to know things humanly impossible to know? Well, I must have experience beyond what's humanly possible. If i am Omnipresent(everywhere in space and time) then know of course I know everything from direct experience. And if I'm Omnipresent, then that means I not only created Hitler, but that I am Hitler because I must be everything. So I take consciously as an Ego, full ownership of the entire universe as my creation. And I think back to a God realization I had back in March of 2019 on a psychedelic. I was stupid enough to just trust a random online source to sell me 1p-LSD. So I took a tab of what I thought was an LSD pro drug, and experienced a 25I-NBOMe trip, disgusting gunmetal taste and all. I don't want to give a full trip report, because some of what I experienced was very positive but this drug is nearly lethal even in the small dosage I had taken(always subject your drugs to chemical analysis before ingesting them). Anyway, I had experienced ego death on it and realized that I created all of the universe and felt infinite love and bliss. Then the next day my somewhat still intact materialist paradigm caused me to dismiss the whole thing as a delusion. But following the God realization I had via a lucid dream I describe above, I finally realized that I was actually more sober in a sense on the psychedelic than when actually "sober". In later months, I had two precognitive dreams following on one occasion basic vipassana before bed, and on the other repetition of the thought "I remember my dreams I write them down". On the first occasion, I became aware of the George Floyd incident on the first of April 2020 and the ensuing political calamity. On another occasion, I had about a thousand dollars invested in XRP because well I was basically just memeinvesting to be honest. This is relevant because I had a dream about a week after buying Ripple where I was looking at a chart and the bottom fell out of it. So I woke up and sold half and kept half(I kept half simply out of stupidity quite frankly). Then the SEC launching a lawsuit against XRP hit the news just hours after. The price fell as predicted, and I felt stupid for doubting the accuracy of the dream in keeping half the "asset". I have had more experiences in the realm of precognition, but these are the two I've had via dreaming. What's significant is how little my ego was directly involved in the experiences. It seems like it had planted seeds in my subconscious which came to fruition in ways I hadn't anticipated. Now following the second paragraph's events(yes I know this is non-linear please don't accuse me of being scatterbrained for lacking organization). On the fifth night of listening to the binaural soundtrack, I had a very long vivid non lucid dream. At the end of which I became lucid, and found myself speaking with my dad on the porch of my grandpa's house. I shoot a thought at him in my mind to test to see if my suspicions were correct about the dream. He replied to the thought in my head. I said mentally to myself while looking on him "Is this a dream, and if so how do I get myself to win the lottery" to which he replied "It will take more effort than that". I was outraged at this response, and so I looked up at the sky to invoke the awareness behind the dream. It was sort of a shaking your fist at God moment that the stereotypical Atheist might have when a family member dies. I said something like why am I not rewarded for my efforts. And then a loud male voice boomed from above saying "YOU ARE AWAKE" and loud noises including a loud Chinese Gong, Elephants trumpeting and a few others. Do you know what happens next? I arise from the dream. Wondering what the fuck just happened. At this point in my development, I'm seriously questioning my methods and also reality itself of course. Sometime near the end of 2020, I randomly get the bright idea of searching on YouTube the terms "Life is a dream" in order to find someone who might know the things I know. And guess who I find... Leo! And after watching the video, I'm simply blown away at how elegantly he articulates things I thought only I knew(yes, I was arrogant enough to assume that out of 8 billion humans I might be the only one to know that we're just hallucinating everything). I extract incredible value from watching his videos further. Especially relative to the knowledge of 5 MEO's impact on human consciousness, and the nearly 30 day straight experiment Leo did on the substance. Sometime in about April 2021, I finally arrive at the conclusion that an Omnipotent state of consciousness must be humanly possible(in hindsight, It seems almost inconceivable I hadn't realized that sooner). So I planned to find an Omnipotent being and ask them to grant me the same power that they posses. Specifically, I intended to reach the Guardian(what the awareness behind dreams likes to call himself). Because he appears to be an Omnipotent, non-corporeal being. Well, strangely enough I struggle to get lucid lol. Probably because I found it difficult to sleep listening to the old binaural track I had used in the past so successfully. But I kept following Leo's content during my waking world time. And then on May 15th Leo releases a video describing his experience with a chemical whose name he desires not to yet disclose, which does to him almost exactly what I had been trying to accomplish in myself. Not only that, but I discovered that the greatest threat to my existence as an Omnipotent being is ironically myself desiring to leave the state, as everything becomes totally worthless and valueless even human life, even my own personal life as I'd obviously make myself immortal and that would cheapen my existence. This problem, I reason can be solved by Omnipotence. Simply by first removing from yourself the ability to relinquish your power. Then two making yourself immortal/indestructible/invulnerable to all possible threats. Then three, removing from yourself the ability to relinquish your immortality/indestructibility. Then four, making yourself to feel infinite value and happiness whenever you exercise your power so as to overcome the obstacle of nihilism. Now, I realize that going and imaging myself to be Omnipotent is no easy task. There's a mountain of egoic bullshit within me endeavoring to restrain me from that possibility. But I want to purse it because it seems to be the most reasonable possible thing to do. When I become infinitely powerful, I'll be able to do literally anything I want with perfect competency. And as of late, I've actually entertained the notion of making everyone Omnipotent. I don't mean in the absolute sense, you already are fully God on that level. I mean at the level of your human experience. And yes, I know this means giving the Taliban unlimited control of space, time, and matter. But think through what reality might look like if this were so. Not only would the Taliban be Omnipotent, so would all their "victims". Of course, when infinite it's always possible to become a greater infinity than before. So it would still be possible to defeat the human species in some kind of struggle, and for individual humans to fight amongst themselves. But it's humanly impossible to predict what might occur if this were so. There might be some kind of cessation(ie, everyone decides they don't want to be as powerful as me), there might be some kind of massive conflict which is beyond the human capacity to imagine. Regardless of the outcome, I've only entertained this because it seems to me to be the most selfless thing to do. After all, I reason that Omnipotence is what would be best for me, and if it's best for me it's best for all(because they actually in fact are me). Though I may discover that I'm wrong somehow. Certainly, it will be difficult to function in a state of no ego permanently as part of my human ego. Of course, the impossible becomes possible with Omnipotence, so I'm certain at least I will be successful in making myself Omnipotent even if I somehow failed after a lifetime of pursuing it(I'm 22 at present) I know I'd become Omnipotent as God postmortem anyway.

vibration means your state of being. the more you feel happy and bliss, the more higher. the more you feel lower emotions like stress, fear or things like that, the lower your vibration!

let go. let go of controlling stuff in your life. be okay with stuff happening spontaneously. also slow down the pace of your living. you might try slower living which brings you back to the inner bliss.

So psychedlics can give you this feeling of "I understand reality" or "I know the truth". And this feeling is genuine during the trip, because the distinction of tripping and not tripping is not really there. However you do come back to your baseline level of consciousness and often your ego integrates the experience and it tries to claim "I understand" and it says "I'm not really there now, but I know the way" and then the ego spawns many imaginations and what to do to get there and what prevents you from getting there. Isn't this just chasing your own tail? You already defined what is truth and what is untruth instead of admitting to yourself you do not know. So this question comes because lately I feel like I need to let go of psychedlics completely or at least for a couple years. I did about 40-50 trips mostly LSD. But also mushrooms and NN-Dmt and mdma. I did a sub-breaktrough dose of 5 MeoDMT once. It's been lying around for over a year now and I have huge respect for it. Before I quit psychedlics I will go for a breaktrough 5Meo trip as I think I can't leave this one out. This Intuition also comes because I had an awakening to love 40 days ago with my spiritual practise ( I do hatha yoga, pranayama and meditation). This love hasn't left me yet as I know consciously how to get there. I just sit down for meditation for 10-20 minutes and I'm in bliss. So is 5Meo a trap or not? Or does it depend on how you use it and your clarity of perception? If you read this Leo, thank you so much for your work. I've been following you since 2018 and I have been taking the things you say really seriously. I started meditating, journelling, hatha yoga all beacuse of you and my life is so amazing now I don't think I have to explain to you. ??

But there can be deliberation before the mind lands on its decision -- due to competing intentions. The acceptable action based upon the votes of all these intentions gets played out. These competing intentions are specifically what meditation is used to still/unify. When they're stilled, it is bliss. Doubt falls away, as does shame; guilt; blame. Unified self honesty = meditation + figuring out what you desire.

I’ve awakened my crown chakra, clairsentience, or Holy Spirit depending on what language you want to use by having telepathic communication with them in my waking life. As this is a rather subconscious issue, it’s hard to control the nature of those actions in non-lucid dreams even when my conscious mind would never aim to harm. This makes me wonder if the lucid dreaming tactic would work, but I think at the very least it would help me pull another layer of the onion back in order to be closer to loving them fully as Self. Watch the video if you want to hear possibly the strangest story of awakening the Holy Spirit that has ever happened. The Grays - My Story of ET Contact Once you’re feeling up to entering into divine love and bliss with beings who abduct humans without consent, you can move on to the story of maximizing the Holy Spirit through loving the Personification of Evil himself. Here’s the video for that ? How I Experienced Back-to-Back Cessations Through Bhakti & Love (instead of meditating)

Firstly, which colour of spiral dynamics does passion fall into? Specifically i'm referring to passion for a career or life purpose. (ignoring the contribution component for a moment, and just focusing on getting into flow states and being passionate about cultivating a craft) For example, Joseph Campbell following his bliss by going into the cabin in the woods and reading books for years. Would this be green, I wasn't 100% sure because he's not caring about helping humanity at this point, but then again he's not reading books for any materialistic gain. Secondly, for people that just get a slightly above average job, in the U.K say like £40-50k , working in a marketing role or something. I wasn't sure if this would be orange or blue. It's not like they're hugely career driven like investment bankers looking to make 6 or 7 figures, they probably just see their job as a means to pay the bills. However they probably still have some aspirations to increase their salary over time, it's not like they're working in a coal mine. I'm not really sure where the line gets divided. thanks

Hey Guys, This is my first post on here but I will give you guys a little background on myself. I have been feeling a profound feeling of connection with the universe since I was about 16. I started noticing distinct feelings of change in my energy, which would directly change the reality around me, synchronicities etc.. I never completely devoted my life to the pursuit of these answers but it would always be at the forefront of my mind. I was in the military for a while which kept me pretty limited as far as pursuit of this knowledge and dabbling with different ideas that I had about them, but it taught me a lot of lessons in other fields. I got out of the military in February of 2020 and currently own a Real Estate Investment business to sustain my human needs for money and resources, but I have always wanted to reach my full universal potential, and I never thought that materialism or anything similar was the way I would do that (maybe the pooling of money and resources could help me REACH that potential through leverage, but not be the potential itself). Anyways, I'd like to briefly touch on two major "awakenings" as they call them that I have had since February of 2020. I just watched Leo's video on God Realization and after my second experience, I have no doubt in my mind that I am God, and my lack of Omnipotence and Omnipresence are simply me removing the power from myself. I will go into more detail on the actual experiences I have had that led me to believe this. So let's start with the first story. My Ex-Girlfriend and I had just started dating. She was my first love and the first two months of being with her were BY FAR the most blissful two months of my life. Like I had mentioned before, I had always noticed that when my energy shifted (what people might call a "higher vibration"), that I noticed a LOT more synchronicities, signs etc.. So when my Ex and I first started dating, these were actually ridiculously profound. I would be walking passed people at the grocery store and they would finish my sentence for me with their passing conversation, I would be having an internal dialogue and some funny scenario that I was thinking of would happen right in front of me. Things like this would constantly happen. I started to feel in tune with the universe and at the time, it felt like I had truly connected with the Divine Feminine, and there was even a point where her and I were having sex where I thought "if I finish, the universe is literally going to implode and reset" because I thought it was the most bliss that could ever be created and that it would be the "grand finale of the play" per se. Anyways, we had been dating for about 2 months and I had just gotten officially out of the Army. I am with the love of my life, I am finally out of the military, I have money, and I am ready to start my business. I am feeling the highest energy I had ever felt in my life. I start to feel like song lyrics are all speaking to me, and I get this intense urge to go to New York City. It's Valentine's Day and my Ex and I are spending the day together, we have a good time but the synchronicities are getting so intense at this point that I must be sounding like a crazy person to anyone not understanding what's happening. If I had to explain it, I would say that it felt like everyone was part of a giant hive mind and they were all apart of this story that I was creating. Anyways, I am just going with the flow at this point and we have Valentine's Dinner, and decide to invite my friend along because his wife is overseas. This is where I get the bright idea to ask all 3 of them if they want to drive to New York in the middle of the night. They, for whatever reason, agree. We meet up about an hour later to drive to New York. Pay attention to these details, because they will become important later for the point I am trying to make. As we're driving, there's this feeling in the air that my friend is "in on it", that being all of the synchronicities and universal connections, and that my Ex wasn't. This part of the story I have a hard time remembering because it was so long ago but it was as if my friend was guiding me through this spiritual journey, but the thing is, it was really like a Hive-Mind scenario because he would shift from not understanding anything, to speaking as if he had complete awareness of all of the concepts I would bring up. My Ex just seemed to be completely oblivious to everything but her innocence was so cute to me and I wanted to help her grow so she could be "enlightened" along side of me. Anyways, something I will mention briefly, is that she kept jokingly talking about police and calling them "coppers" and I would overhear her saying they're going to give us a problem on the way back. Well a lot of stuff happened in between this, but to save some time, on our way back from New York, we get pulled over. There's a TON more to this story if anyone wants to private message me about it, it's just too much to put here. So anyways, after I get pulled over, I was actually put into a mental hospital, because of the things I was saying, but I was really just having a spiritual experience, I am convinced of this. I had lived 22 years up to this point without experiencing anything remotely close to mental illness, and have lived almost 2 years since without anything happening (until this next story). The next story is about 2 months after my Ex and I broke up, which was exactly a month ago from when I am writing this post. I decided to book an Ayahuasca retreat at Arkana Spiritual Center in the Amazon of Peru. There's probably a lot that I will leave out of this story but bear with me. As soon as I get to the hotel for the Introductory Meeting, all of the people I meet seem so familiar. It's like I have known them forever. I start to notice all of these synchronicities just like what happened before. This is before any of us have even touched Ayahuasca. So we get to the retreat and it starts to get more and more intense, this feeling of connectedness with the universe. Finally, I take my first and only cup of Ayahuasca that I drank the entire week. During this ceremony I came to the solid conclusion that everything is one, and that this physical reality we live in isn't everything. I didn't exactly know immediately what this knowledge meant, but I decided to let it marinate, so I didn't drink ANY more Ayahuasca for the rest of the retreat. I started to dabble with the idea that my conscious mind is so much more powerful than I had originally thought. I would manifest things happening to me in almost real-time, within a certain level of realism. I noticed that things I would try to manifest, like a fireball in my hand, or something of that nature, was impossible to me because I still had self-doubt of the possibility of it. However, if I created a scenario that was plausible, like dinner getting done right when I started to think about it, that it was possible, and it WAS manifesting a good majority of the time. So I start to play with this concept and achieve very intense results. I even tested my consciousness when we did the Sapo ceremony (5-MEO DMT). I had set the intention after the first ceremony that I have come to terms with being an infinite consciousness and all of that, but for now, I would like to test what I am capable of in my human manifestation. I decided that I would put things to the test by trying to smoke the 5-MEO DMT without falling backwards and seeing patterns and all of that. When I went into the ceremony I had this intense confidence that I would be able to smoke it and just stay the same, because I felt like I had willed the fact that I am as far enlightened as I want to be at the time. Well of course, I smoke the DMT, and I had been doing a lot of breathwork throughout the week so I was able to get a REALLY GOOD inhale, I hold it in for as long as I can, I breath out and look at the facilitator and tell him "I can control this", granted I had some slight dizziness, but I stood up immediately and walked out of the room, and what substituted any "DMT Effects" as I had previously heard about them, was what I can only explain as complete God-Realization. I had no visuals, I was able to stand completely normally and walk around, as a matter of fact it felt like all of the noise dropped and I was able to finally talk to my true godly self. I look around and KNOW, not think, but really KNOW that I created all of this. It didn't feel like I was an extension of god, as I had envisioned it when thinking about everyone being "One". No, I KNEW that I was God, like God with a capital G. It's funny because after watching Leo's video about God-Realization, this completely encapsulates what I thought at the time. I said to myself "Yeah, I get it, I'm God, but I kinda like being human right now, and being the only one is kinda lonely and scary, so I'd rather work on becoming really powerful as a human, so let's go back down for now". Of course, I ground myself after a few minutes, get some lunch, and damn if that wasn't the tastiest lunch I'd had in a minute. I am feeling so good at this point and feel like I have my purpose figured out. I decide that I am going to paint this picture for my human life and go for it, because it's my story, why wouldn't it work out? I decided I was going to find my soul mate (at this point in time I was convinced I would awaken my ex girlfriend and get back with her) and we were going to push our human limits together. I wanted to learn how to maximize my consciousness, discover new abilities that I might be able to unlock, etc.. Basically I had this fantasy of my Ex and I just conquering the Universe together (like the actual universe, interplanetary type shit). I still think this is all possible by the way, I just think my self-imposed limits are currently stopping me from being able to right now. The retreat ends and here's the weirdest thing that happens that, I think proves a point that I'd like to talk about at the end. When we get back from the retreat, the people at the hotel tell me I had "Cocaine and Hookers in my room", and for that reason I could not stay, this was obviously not true by the way, but you'll just have to take my word for that. After that, some of the facilitators take me to a room in a different hotel, and they ask me about the cocaine and hookers, and then they accuse me of buying drugs from this tour guide who was showing me around Iquitos before I got to the retreat. It all seemed to be trying to paint this picture that I was doing something bad and that I wasn't in my right mind. Well, I hadn't done any substances for 4 days at this point! I smoked Sapo on Wednesday and we left the retreat on a Saturday. I was completely in my right mind but everyone around me was acting super weird. Those 2 accusations were the first weird thing that happened, then it seemed like everyone at any hotel, store, restaurant etc.. was behaving like what you'd picture a broke robot to behave like. For example, we would talk to them and they would just seem so confused and would communicate in such a peculiar way. I start to get this paranoia, but rightly so at this point, people have accused me of things I didn't do, and people are acting very strange. Skip to a couple days later, I get to the airport and things are WACKED OUT at this point. It feels like time is non-existent, it feels like everyone around me is a bot trying to keep me from getting back home, and there were things happening that supported that. These airport employees were just staring off into space for MINUTES AT A TIME until I looked them dead in the eyes and willed them to respond to me. People were just standing around the airport looking more confused than I've ever seen a person look. I got to the place to turn in my boarding pass and the lady just started scribbling on my paper and gave it back to me. Nothing made sense. The times on the clocks kept changing from 1730 to 1530 to 1230, it was like I was in this timeless zone that didn't make sense anymore. I honestly felt like I broke reality. Anyways, as I get on the plane and start to feel this intense pain in my body, and I have never been a christian but I felt the need to scream to god and ask him for help, it was this image I had of a christian god and "the light" and it felt like I was dying right there on the airplane and the only thing that could save me was telling everyone to come to the light on the airplane. So obviously I get kicked off of this airplane, and at some point one of the facilitators that was with me slipped a Xanax in my drink and that was the start of my Descent from this insanely high level of consciousness (obviously too high for me to handle at the time). Taking this back to the God-Realization though. I genuinely think that as God, I have a fail-safe for when I start to learn too much too fast, and that's what has happened in both of those scenarios. Now there's self-doubt about my true power. Am I crazy and that was all a "psychotic break" or am I God and I briefly got a glimpse of some of my power? I guess the story will tell. All I know is that I remember too much of it for any of it to be a coincedence. None of what I am saying was a hallucination. These were real people that I knew from the retreat. I am not sure about hallucinations but I don't think you can hallucinate a real persons lips to move and speak to you in a way that they did. I never heard voices, never saw things that weren't there. This is all reality around me that I interpreted in a certain way. I guess my question here is, has anyone else ever experienced anything similar to this? Has anyone figured out how to stay up and not get taken back down by the "fail-safes"? Anyone have a take on what happened to me? I know if the God-Realization concept is true, which I think it is, I am just talking to myself, but it's part of the fun to interact with "other people" to gain ideas haha. Anyways, hope everyone has a good night!

Mahakali's origin is contained in various Puranic and Tantric Hindu Scriptures (Shastra). In these, she is variously portrayed as the Adi-Shakti-Goddess Durga, the Primeval Force of the Universe, identical with the Ultimate Reality or Brahman. She is also known as the (female) Prakriti or World as opposed to the (male) Purusha or Consciousness, or as one of three manifestations of Mahadevi Durga (The Great Goddess) that represent the three Gunas or attributes in Samkhya philosophy. In this interpretation Mahakali represents Tamas or the force of inertia. A common understanding of the Devi Mahatmya ("Greatness of the Goddess") text, a later interpolation into the Markandeya Purana, considered a core text of Shaktism (the branch of Hinduism which considers Devi Durga to be the highest aspect of Godhead), assigns a different form of the Goddess (Mahasaraswati, Mahalakshmi, and Mahakali) to each of the three episodes therein. Here Mahakali is assigned to the first episode. She is described as an abstract energy, the yoganidra of Vishnu. Brahma invokes her and she emerges from Vishnu and he awakens. She is the Goddess of time. Her ten headed (dashamukhi) image is known as the 10 Mahavidyas Mahakali, and in this form she is said to represent the ten Mahavidyas or "Great Wisdom (Goddess)s". She is sometimes shown sitting on a flaming grave or a rotting corpse. Her complexion is described as that of the night sky, devoid of stars. She is depicted in this form as having ten heads, thirty flaming eyes, ten arms, and ten legs but otherwise usually conforms to the four armed icon in other respects. Each of her ten hands is carrying an implement which varies in different accounts, but each of these represent the power of one of the Devas or Hindu Gods and are often the identifying weapon or ritual item of a given Deva. The implication is that Mahakali subsumes and is responsible for the powers that these deities possess and this is in line with the interpretation that Mahakali is identical with Brahman. While not displaying ten heads, an "ekamukhi" or one headed image may be displayed with ten arms, signifying the same concept: the powers of the various Gods come only through her grace. In either one of these images she is shown standing on the prone, inert body of Shiva. This is interpreted in various ways but the most common is that Mahakali represents Shakti, the power of pure creation in the universe, and Shiva represents pure Consciousness which is inert in and of itself. While this is an advanced concept in monistic Shaktism, it also agrees with the Nondual Trika philosophy of Kashmir, popularly known as Kashmir Shaivism and associated most famously with Abhinavagupta. There is a colloquial saying that "Shiva without Shakti is Shava" which means that without the power of action (Shakti) that is Mahakali (represented as the short "i" in Devanagari) Shiva (or consciousness itself) is inactive; Shava means corpse in Sanskrit and the play on words is that all Sanskrit consonants are assumed to be followed by a short letter "a" unless otherwise noted. The short letter "i" represents the female power or Shakti that activates Creation. This is often the explanation for why she is standing on Shiva, who is her husband in Shaktism, and also the Supreme Godhead in Shaivism. Another understanding is that the wild destructive Mahakali can only stop her fury in the presence of Shiva the God of Consciousness, so that the balance of life is not completely overrun over by wild nature. In Kashmir Shaivism the highest form of Kali is Kalasankarshini who is nirguna, formless and is often show as a flame above the head of Guhya Kali the highest gross form of Kali. In Nepali Newar arts, both form and formless attributes of Kali is often envisioned in a single art form showing the hierarchy of goddesses in their tradition. In it Guhyakali image culminates in flame, with Kalasankarshini, the highest deity in the sequence, who consumes time within herself and is envisioned solely as a flame representing Para Brahman. She is like a divine actress in her own universal play who assumes the form/role of Sristi Kali, Rakta Kali, Yama Kali, Samhara Kali, Mrityu Kali, Rudra Kali, Mahakaala Kali, Paramaraka Kali, Kalagnirudra Kali, Martanda Kali, Sthitinasha Kali and Mahabhairavaghorachanda Kali who is none other than Kalasankarshini Kali Break me in don’t break me down Swimming in these empty towns I wonder if it’s all some master plan Diving into sweeter bliss Fallin’ before we miss Taste the taste before it’s gone and you’re too late Won’t change what I am To find who you are Can’t stay in these lines When I’m bursting at the seams My body might collapse If I carry one more dream I could be anything Param Brahma (Sanskrit: परब्रह्म, romanized: parabrahma) in Hindu philosophy is the "Supreme Brahman" that which is beyond all descriptions and conceptualisations. It is described as the formless (in the sense that it is devoid of Maya) that eternally pervades everything, everywhere in the universe and whatever is beyond. Param Brahma is conceptualised in diverse ways. In the Advaita Vedanta tradition, the Param Brahma is a synonym of nirguna brahman, i.e., the attribute-less Absolute. Para is a Sanskrit word that means "higher" in some contexts, and "highest or supreme" in others. Brahman in Hinduism connotes the Absolute, the Ultimate Reality in the universe. In major schools of Hindu philosophy it is the material, efficient, formal and final cause of all that exists. Brahman is a key concept found in the Vedas and is extensively discussed in the early Upanishads and in Advaita Vedanta literature.

@Tim R I can give an example. During a bunch of psych trips I've managed to clear my nasal passage of whatever is blocking it. It feels like someone is cracking and disfiguring my nose when I feel into the sensation, and then at a certain point my nose goes from congested to completely cleared and I get in touch with waves of bliss in every breathe. I can't speak for every health problems, but I am almost certain that in the case of someone like Leo it is directly related. I've had stomach problems as well my whole life and on psych trips the peaks always come with a certain cleansing of the stomach and other parts of the body. Did you know you can literally cleanse nausea and headaches completely from the system if you feel into the proper energy channels? And whatever guy you worked with wasn't that advanced in his practice if he had serious health problems like that.

The guy hasn't even cleared his nasal passage from the congestion associated with the suffering. Amateur. This guy's a devil imo. There's bliss to be had in every breathe and he aint getting it yet

There is something scary and non appealing in your discourse. It basically match the modern athetistic narrative because: 1. Since there are something called Cessation where 0 consciousness happens, it is logit to assume that that is what will happen after we die, forever. 2. It reduces God and Love insights to temporary and interemdiate levels. They are not ultimate reality. They are basically fireworks that occur in your mind, as a modern atheist would say. I know that your permanent 24/7 experience is incredibly bliss but what you say sounds fucking depressing from outside haha.

It is good to eradicate thourghts, but the most profound way to do it is, by entering samadhi states of consciousness. Samadhi is also referred to as “concentration”, and it bring the senses to a complete still. That it may happen through a state of bliss and divine love.

@nistake I'm a big fan of loch kelly, I really liked his effortless mindfulness pointers. But even he fails to really nail down what it means for effortless mindfulness to transform your experience of the body, and how energetic blocks get released. I really wish I could talk to Loch 1-1, but he's too big at this point. Like I have a clear understanding of loch's teachings, and I can follow him step for step, but it's still no where near where I can reach with psychidelics. One of my favorite pointers is, what's here now when there's no problem to solve. And it really points to the sensations and feelings of the body. But then there's still the process of going from this here now, to this feeling like bliss and the energetic knots of the body being released