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@Harmony342 How come Americans and English people seem to hate office jobs? I have been working in 3 different offices, two of them very large, and I have never met a person who was having a bad day. In American shows everyone is always tired in an office, and they look like they are contemplating suicide. Is it not a big enough dream to do relatively relaxing work in an office?

@WHO IS well there is suicide, but there is much safer methods as well such as psyhadelics, if you go in the trip with the dying wish the dream shall be revealed to you, and that state it doesn't matter if you are in the God mode or human mode since all time disappears.

@Harmony342 Regarding this topic the movie "memento" fascinated me. Specially the real meaning of the story. The guy has a severe memory condition. Normally one would think about suicide. Leading such a life seems to be quite meaningless because of that the guy tricked himself to give himself a meaning. It's a fake meaning but because he can't remember that it's fake he thinks it is real. That way he keeps himself alife. How would you deal with it?

Will it be really bad if I commit suicide? I cant go on anymore. Will it harm my karma, reincarnation? May be these are all bullshit.

One has to wonder also if his ego mind is the only one... Wouldn't enlightment be harder to achieve? Hidden? Wouldn't every enlightened person become instantly depressed after this realization? Imagine a monk and the Buddha. The monk becomes enlightened and asks the Buddha: Monk:Buddha I'm the only one, it's only me? Buddha:Yes it has always been you. Monk:How depressing. I want to forget again. Might as well just suicide. Buddha:You can't die you only change forms. Monk:Damm. And why would people promote Nirvana, Heaven,God realization if it is so bleak? It doesn't make sense honestly. Wouldn't all this stuff not exist if the ego mind is the only one? All i wanted i guess was the Christian heaven lol. I got something much weirder and scarier while searching for this so called "God". You can't run away from yourself i guess.

@Erick On March 26, 1997, police discovered the bodies of 39 members of the Heaven’s Gate religious group who had committed mass suicide in order to reach what they believed was an alien space craft following Comet Hale–Bopp. All members were dressed in dark clothing and Nike sneakers. https://qph.fs.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-7781c72ee667fd7c818b31e28b40913b If you know what i mean lol Maybe they astral-projected and made it...

My Opinion: From what I have seen and understood. Not all enlightened have same experiences of enlightenment. Some may experience absolute absence profoundly, some experience absolute presence with everything being one. Some experience both. Some never experience Prema(Unconditional Love) aspect of it(Best example U.G.Krishnamurthi - In one of his videos denied love as an aspect of enlightenment). Some may not get any special insights(What people call as spontaneous knowledge downloads). We hear stories of yogis, saints and sages who although preach non-duality, have lived through many lives through eons of time through multiple various realities. Yet, Most of the Non-Dualers in recent times having never experienced any of the infinitude of most wonderful creations in this (un)reality, seem to commit permanent suicide of merging into Brahman. Non-Dual realization when attained prematurely without proper mental preparation and without equal knowledge of both duality and non-duality, will make one talk like a robot with no feelings, rejecting duality like a plague. Who knows, may be after realising non-duality, one can also learn how to bring ego back again willfully, going in and out of duality with full control. Thus by extending the karmic cycle and experiencing myriad of experiences in various realms in various times, with very little suffering. Why give up individuality? I know there isn't any self to do the willing, but isn't that the same kind of impossibility for a ego self to realize and understand non-duality and yet the non-dual states are achieved(Impossible is attained). Similarly there may be a way to achieve dual-egoic identification once again from non-dual states as well. Who knows, in an imaginary dream reality anything should be possible, for Brahman has no restrictions.

Note: I'm not enlightened. My knowledge is scriptural, and as such is only intellectual. Dear @gswva Because of law of karma(Tendencies, conditioning, behavioural patterns, Influences from others & society, etc..) - Once every bit of karma is burnt off including prarabhdha and there is no individuation any more, that'll be the end of that individual. Karma is that fuel which keeps individuation going on. Karma is generated through identification with the body / mind. Any form of identification which is of the nature of ego with the sense of doer-ship creates karma. As long as there is a karmic(cause & effect) chain binding you to some reality, your individuality is safe. Because, even if you get enlightened, the Prarabhdha Karma - 'The fructified karma which determines the experiences of current life' will not get dissolved until the current body dies. Because if it did, the body along with individuation would die the very moment enlightenment happens due of lack of any binding mechanism(karma) to bind it to duality. As to how the initial karma gets generated, there are varying opinions. I have some speculation on it. But, because of lack of direct experience, not so sure about it my self. Also, not sure even if enlightenment might make you understand it. Perhaps samyama on karma might help understand it. Brahman doesn't split into anything. The apparent world is just a projection with-in Brahman - like water seen in a mirage. Even when the projection is happening, there is no change in Brahman(Just like a mirror, even though showing the entire world with-in itself, doesn't change its own state). These projections will keep happening with infinite realities with infinite Jiva(s)(living entities) emerging out and dissolving continuously. But, any PARTICULAR ENTITY with its own 'ego and experiences' having once merged into Brahman will never come back again. "But, I am of the opinion that even after such merging, if prompted by some agency in duality, which has knowledge of said individual, that individual or even a whole reality of a universe can be brought back". There is no self in Brahman. Brahman DOESN'T 'WILL' or 'WISH' to create anything(Willing and wishing are only for the creatures with a 'mind and ego' with-in duality. Brahman is beyond such concepts and is beyond Duality). Just like wetness and fluidity are intrinsic to water; Similarly, the nature of reflecting 'mirage like projections' of realities with-in itself is intrinsic to Brahman. Such projections are what we refer to as 'Creation / Universe'. Brahman has infinite of such Creations / Universes with-in itself. Each of such universes exist within the mind of an individuated atomic-particle(Jiva - PRIMARY CREATION) of Brahman as an imagination/dream-like-projection with-in that Jiva(living entity) - whom we call as god or creator of that universe. These jivas are like mirages without any separate existence apart from Brahman. Cosmic universes(SECONDARY CREATION) experienced with-in Jivas are like water seen in that mirage. (Mirage and Water-seen-in-it are both in truth Non-Existent). (Scriptural Description along with my *own opinion* to clarify the Scriptural Description): With-in each such universe/reality, infinite other universes/realities are created by the jivas who have died in it *and are creating them through mental projection in their after life states / In states of deep meditation, either conciously or unconciously(Just like we do in our dreams). Some of those projections may intermingle with one another and function as one single universe/reality, with many such intermingled universes/realities in existence. While some completely isolated from others as separate universes/realities. Having once come into existence, being supported by Brahman; these universes/realities continue to exist even after the destruction of its parent universe i.e change in state of that jiva or liberation of that jiva who is projecting the parent universe with-in the higher order reality. * With-in each of them, infinite other universes/realities exists. This cycle goes on ad-infinitum with-in them. We are living in one such reality/universe, whose nature is that which we experience in it. That's why reality as a whole is NOT JUST INFINITE IN SINGLE DIMENSION. BUT, INFINITE IN INFINITE DIMENSIONS. If you are to write it is as a mathematical equation, you can write its as Infinity(Infinity(Infinity(Infi.....))))))... infinitely. Not all experiences are neutral, There are literally infinity of experiences that can be had, ranging from suffering, to neutral, to unimaginably exotic realities, full of joy and happiness, stimulating all kinds of emotions and blissfulness with infinite variety to infinite degree. Because, Brahman is not limited by anything as it is the very source of everything. The human body/mind cannot grasp all of these realities from its current state, for it may not even have the faculties necessary to experience such states. No experience is permanently the same. Even with-in same reality experiences keep changing. "Just as karma, such is experience". Infact, some devotional schools of Bhakthi path doesn't even like Non-Dual liberation, and it is considered by them as a permanent suicide. The devotees after attaining a liberation of a dual type, experience going to imaginary heavenly abodes(one of the universes/realities mentioned above) of their imaginary gods(which are experienced as real - Just like this imaginary reality by us) and enjoy heavenly delights with no trace of any suffering, which is far more exotic and enjoyable than any earthly existence. For this reason, not everyone wishes to dissolve their individuation. So, Non-Duality is not the only game in town. May be after Non-Dual enlightenment, one need to learning how to develop purified ego once again to furthur generate more sattva karma to keep the individuation intact. Even Ramana Maharishi who taught Non-Duality worshipped Arunachaleshwara. Ramakrishna Paramahamsa who taught non-duality to Swami Vivekananda worshipped Kaali. But, what type of liberation they attained I do not know. My Opinion: To maximise life's potential and blissfulness and swim constantly in variety "Non-Duality is to be Realised and Individuation is to be Maintained".

I hate everything, Literally. I hate my friends, my family, society, people, life in general. I can feel it everyday from when i wake up until i go back to sleep, then hope that i never wake up the day after and when i do, i just try to sleep again, and again until i get headaches from oversleeping. I can't bear it anymore and i hate saying this because it makes me sound weak. Those fucking thoughts in my head visualizing my self committing suicide in every way possible, from jumping from my rooftop to smashing my head in a wall until my skull breaks. But i would rather feel this hatred and pain then transfer it to someone else like my mom, although i fucking hate her too. (i feel guilty for saying this because she is my "mom".) These mixed feelings of loneliness, despair and hate that i am carrying inside of me everyday makes me want to isolate myself even more. It is as if i am a living black hole which is endlessly sucking itself alive. I hate interacting with people because i lost hope in everything. I feel that talking is as useless as living. meaningless. Talking to anyone makes me feel as if i am the stupidest human that could possibly live on this planet. makes me want to lock myself into a soundproof room for a couple of days. sometimes i think what my life would have looked like if i just cared about the mundane shit that everyone seems to care about and just died in peace instead of suffering like this.

I feel like it's okay for me to die (sometimes I want to die and suicide) and at the same time I love (don't know if it's real love or not love) life and enjoy it's beauty really sense it and feel it. I don't know what is my situation really about

"Those who want to live, let them fight, and those who do not want to fight in this world of eternal struggle do not deserve to live." - Adolf Hitler, a man who committed suicide after failing to win a war and plunging the world into an era of darkness

@DocWatts Thanks! I recently read Diamond's "The World Until Yesterday" which was a good read. My sense from Collapse (watched his TEDTalk) is that he's focusing on relatively small societies compared to the entire United States or the globalized world as a whole, which doesn't make his conclusions any less valid just interesting to think about how these issues could or may scale up, and the impacts of that. It would be interesting to do a study on what Spiral Dynamics level these societies were at when they collapsed...I'm guessing mainly Red and Blue. Red not thinking ahead and committing suicide in the name of power. Blue being stubbornly stuck in its ways and refusing to adapt/innovate. Partly why Trump has been so frightening as a leader during this increasingly fragile moment in human history. My hope is as Western countries progress into late Orange, Green and even Yellow, that real changes can finally begin to materialize. Green can bring the impassioned need for environmental solutions, Orange can meet the demands via cutting-edge innovation and quick thinking, and Yellow can holistically implement and manage the massive and surely disruptive shifts. Of course, this is a plausible reality but also potentially wicked naive and overly optimistic - I concede that. But, hey, let's give it all we got, no?

The tale of the Wendigo The strange death of Gaurav Tiwari The mysterious tragic murder death of Debby Constantino and husband caused by invaded spirits during their ghost adventures Cases discussed in the video. 1. The mysterious deaths of Sonny Graham and Terry Cottle, heart transplant case. 2. Carissa Glen mysterious haunting and suicide. 3.The pollock family mystery. Jacqueline and Joanna and Jennifer and gillian. The Pollock sisters 4.Room 428 of Wilson Hall 5.the strange solving of the murder of Teresita Basa by her own spirit beyond the grave The demonic possession and exorcism of Maurice Frenchy Theriault. The phenomenon of spontaneous human combustion MK Ultra glitch and glitch in the matrix NBA player Draymond Green stare. The mystery of the Babushka lady

Shieeet... I want to jump off the bridge. I mean, I WANT TO JUMP OFF THE FUCKING BRIDGE! I had been riding my bicycle to work before and every damn morning I just looked down and wanted to jump, freefall is so seductive. They say it's over 15 meters, which means that my speed will be over 60 kilometers per hour on landing after around 2 seconds of freefall. The river is wide, I don't swim like a pro but I have a friend with a boat. I need to check the depth of the river, check if the bottom is clean and find a lower place to train my landing technique and estimate if 15+ meters is a good idea with as little experience as I have. I'm also guessing if it is good with the local society, I don't want to become a celebrity here, LOL. And I need to wait for the next summer to figure out all the details of that deliberately failed suicide.

Money is the root cause of a lot of evil in the world. Money creates tension, stress, people who don't have enough money commit suicide, money creates division in family. Money makes man selfish and greedy. Money has taken so many lives. Money gives hope and money takes hope Many people lost their lives because of money. Money created differences and status between people. Money removed Equality Money created the seeds of division in humanity.

I remember being called a failure by my mom growing up even if I was a straight A student. Typical pathetic stupid Asian culture where you have to impress your parents no matter what. Where if you are born you have no freedom as a child. You are a slave to your parents. You do what your parents tell you to do. I grew up with a strict mother who would lash out at me, hit me on my head if I didn't do what she demanded out of me. Asian upbringing is horrendous. It's a cultural trauma. It's generational trauma. Parents treat you like toys. China is no different from India. Similar cultures. Same parent worshipping bullshit. There are children in China who commit suicide because they can't meet their parent's expectations. There are millions of children in India who commit suicide every year because they can't meet their parent's expectations It's a plague. A mental plague. I feel for these children. We should be born free. One of the main reasons why I didn't want kids because I didn't want my child to say to me "mum I can't deal with the pressure of studies" It's ridiculous. To bring children into this world and let them suffer so that you can make money out of them, it's ridiculous. Children are not your slaves. They are not your lottery tickets. Ever wonder why these countries always have the biggest populations. Because of greed. Stupid Greed that parents push on children

Yea I need deeper therapy but right I can't afford that. So I just vent my frustration in a journal as a therapy My boyfriend and I are not on talking terms right now because the last time he was at my place, I wasn't feeling well and that didn't go very well with him. I became despondent after that. So I am not talking to him. Neither is he. My mom is incredibly frail now. It seems she has stopped eating for some reason and she doesn't want to take meds anymore. She constantly says that she doesn't want to live anymore. That's hard on me. Even though she abused me all my childhood, I don't want her gone. I have siblings who cut ties with me and my mom long ago. And my dad passed away in 2009. I was very young at that time. My siblings are rich, they can afford treatment for my mom but they don't want to spend a dime for her. I tried calling them for help but they hung up. I tripped while walking and got my leg injured 2 weeks ago. Since then I'm unable to walk. Walking has become a big struggle. And the doctor said that it would take a long time for it to heal, maybe six months or more. So I walk with a stick. So now things are getting harder for me than before. I'm basically sick of living. Last week I called my boyfriend and I told him about my problems and he called me a coward, a schizophrenic, a pussy and a bunch of other names. Because I was feeling suicidal. I had tried to cut myself. I wasn't able to deal with anything anymore. I didn't know how to act happy when I was completely hopeless from inside.. I can't do that. You know I'm just me.. I can't put a lid on my emotions. I need emotional release because i feel better after that. I just have to be authentic. Pretending or hiding is not going to help. It's not my fault if I am in a bad emotional state because of my past trauma. It's PTSD. It shows up even if I don't want it to exist. So I feel like maybe he can't deal with me anymore and maybe I shouldn't blame him because maybe I'm too much for someone to deal with because of my trauma But I felt like he could have at least been sympathetic rather than coming across as very judgemental I have realized that people don't understand someone with trauma and they blame them for their suffering and this doesn't help, it only makes things worse. So past few days I've been feeling like shit. I turned to Satanism and the non judgemental nature of this religion kinda made me feel better and less of a failure. I try to be my best self but I get hated immensely when my flaws show up. I can't be perfect in a world where you are expected to be perfect as a woman. I can't do that. So I'm like fuck this world. I have been ruminating on the state of the world and how pathetic the world is and greedy the world is. I'm sick of this judgemental zero compassion world. Few days back I received the news that a friend from school committed suicide. This completely shattered me. I just hate this world now even more. I have been driven off the edge and this is not the first time. For past few days I have been thinking about how people get sucked into the chaos of this world and end up losing their life and other people just judge them as cowards and weak. Nobody tries to understand their pain I woke up from a dream last night and I was sweating in fear when I woke up, in the dream I was standing on the edge of a building and trying to jump off, convincing myself this world is no good and has no place for real people like me. Then I wrote this post in my private journal when I woke up and it made sense to me "It's a terrible world. You have to be able to confront reality, rather than deny it. It's a bad place you know. It's a terrible world. It's not made to help people to bring them up, it's made to watch them suffer and so many people suffer in a dirty, disgusting, perverted, deranged, horrible, sick, hateful, heartless world in which people suffer and others who are heartless, they watch them suffer, This world is a very depraved place. " I have begun to feel that life is pointless. If there is any meaning to life, it's only because I injected meaning into it. I have been getting all these dark thoughts about the world but it seems like it is making sense.. Because I don't want to deny reality any more.

What little compassion people have towards someone who commits suicide I have heard people call them weak, cowards and pussies.. No. They are not weak. They died because they suffered. It's important to show them compassion instead of judging them. That's why I don't like this world.

I have created my own little subculture that will deal with the idea of evil and suffering and tie it with Satanism. I will call it Grimreeth. It will deal with the idea of evil and Suffering, sadness and failure/despair. What will it consist of Idea of evil Concept of evil Evil themes Satanist ties Suffering, both personal and general Solution for suffering Embracing and acceptance of suffering Finding stability and motivation through the suffering Death, loss, suicide, evil, sin, trauma, grief, despair, misery Pathos Venting out Daily positivity and recharging Healing. Daily healing Sad poetry and songs and sad art, sad music, any art form with elements of sadness Dark Gothic themes tied to Satanism Ways to tackle evil Ways to cope with evil Ways to cope with suffering Solutions and Approaches to Suffering Finding hope when you are dealing with bad situations Finding peace in the middle of chaos Understanding evil influences Liberating oneself from life and its problems and judgement

Approach to suffering One thing to remember is that you are always a winner, no matter what. Because you are always you. The fact that you endured so much and keep enduring is a testament of your passion and strength. So even if your life was cut short, you are not in vain. You are loved and appreciated whatever way you are Do not be upset that you couldn't get what you wanted. Life is a litany of unfinished businesses. Nothing is truly lost. Don't think that you need to regret something or regret the suffering. Your sufferings are also your medals. Your yearnings are also your medals. Your faith is also a medal. Your soul is a reward in itself. Even if you couldn't create the life you wanted, one thing that the world is powerless in controlling is your soul. Your soul is an infinite space and repository of infinite imagination and creation. Create whatever you want in your soul. It's effect is a permanent imprint. The problem of suicide. I have often wondered if suicide is the ultimate solution for everything. Then I think about God's love I wish religion wasn't so persecuting Religion should be more of a refuge and less of a babble on morality. That's one reason that drew me to Satanism. In Satanism there was a certain kind of freedom that religion didn't allow

It's quite cheap and sustainable financially even without a high paying job to buy or rent a small run down cabin outside a quite rural town, and renovate it a tiny bit so it's not awful. Only head back for basic supplies and groceries every month or so. Grow your own food, fix/build things yourself, use solar and wind for power, well water, etc. It's a good option if you didn't want to work for many years at a time or permanently retire. You'd just have to save enough money or have enough passive income investments to give you a few hundred or about a thousand dollars a month, or just break even depending on your savings. Depending on how stringent you are with your budget you actually don't need THAT much money. You can probably get by on less than $5000-8000 a year. It's very possible to do that you just have to be radical with how many material things you're willing to give up. This is basically the isolated lifestyle you're seeking. You aren't ever going out to buy dinner or pay for concerts and stuff like that. This is what true solitude means. You are sitting around all day meditating, contemplating, doing chores, swimming, hiking etc. Completely free activities. If my relationship ever falls through or if I become extremely unhappy with normal life that's probably what I will do. I don't really care much or feel obligated to participate in this absolutely rotten society, or let alone bothered dealing with other people or family generally really. Most people are so broken and low consciousness anyways that it's exhausting to play into the illusion in the first place. In a way I highly regret getting into this work and learning the things I have learned. To be honest if given the chance I'd be quite tempted to trade my place and be someone else that's completely blind, oblivious, and ego driven. Ignorance is bliss as they say, they aren't lying either. If I got bored enough of that lifestyle and didn't feel enough motivation to go back to normal life I'd very likely commit suicide and leave all my things to my sister.

As a child, I used to dream of leaving this world. My first suicidal ideation was when I was 14. I thought it would be so nice if I walked towards an ocean and disappeared into the waves and nobody would see me and all the pain would be over forever. That was a better way of ending myself But I have come to realize that it's not suicide that I want, but FREEDOM. I wanted freedom from this existence, or in other words I did not want my existence to be this way. I wanted freedom from suffering. I think most people who commit suicide also want the same, freedom from their pain. Suicidal ideation was a huge part of my existence. I sometimes wondered why there were barricades raised on bridges. Why weren't people allowed to jump? It's their life, their will. If they wanted freedom, then why should they be stopped? Ethically and morally, the only person who can have the right to end their life is the person itself. How and why can the world decide if they should live or not. Isn't the right to live the most basic right, then why not the right to die? So if this life is a hell, we are not even allowed to escape it? Why to save a person who doesn't want to be saved? Anyway, this is all an afterthought... I have tried cutting myself several times. All it does is leave scars. I want a rebirth.

So you're recommending suicide?

We're all a multiplicity of many different "I"'s. Many people explain this away as moods. It's easy to frame it like that. Although it's not a flattering thing to be labeled moody, it's usually even worse to be labeled as being fractured into multiple personalities. Officially known as schizophrenia But we're all technically schizophrenic. Some more than others. In my early twenties at a time when I was in the midst of a severe depression and just barely able to function socially, I struck up a conversation with a new neighbor. They lived about a mile away. This was at a local a sports event and the first time in months I had got out of my parents basement and had gone anywhere. Trying to make conversation, I told him how beautiful it was in his neck of the woods and that a few years before as a young teenager, I had trapped some beautiful grey fox not far from his house. The way he reacted you would have thought I had just stuck him with a hot iron. He was practically foaming at the mouth threatening me that if I ever got one of his dogs in my traps,,,, blah,,, blah blah. I didn't even trap anymore. Him being a psychologiist and his wife, a veterinarian. They were kind of a hot shit ' power couple' in some people's eyes. I was completely stunned. Here was a licensed psychologist getting all reactive and just acting bat shit crazy. The world just didn't make any sense. I thought everyone in that field would be like the laid back psychiatrist Sydney that showed up occasionally on episodes of MASH. I don't know why it bothered me that bad but it really did. I'll admit to being rather 'thin skinned' all my life but in the midst of this anxiety/ depression I was in, I just felt devastated. I know it sounds silly but my mental condition was a good deal more than just shaky. I had often considered suicide just from the shame alone that plagued me. Looking back now I can see I was completely beat down and and continually scolded by my own super ego because at the time, I felt like a complete failure and a real embarrassment to my parents. Plagued continually day and night by guilt. Slowly, I managed to start working some. A gradual momentum developed. Driven a good deal in just trying to prove to my folks that that I had some worth. That, in itself though is an unhealthy way to go about life. In most all of the vertical scales of human emotion I've seen -shame - is always right near the bottom along with apathy and forms of depression with anger always being a step above. Whether it's Dianetics, David Hawkins or others I've encountered, anger will always be a step above shame, guilt, and apathy. it's one reason I use over-the-top language whenever I encourage others to defy the inner critic that is the voice of the ego . Until Superego is dealt with in a solid way, disfunction and depression will rule the day. Somehow screaming commands at a large glass ashtray in that Scientology Course I mentioned I believe was related somehow to work on Superego.. So anyone who is continually depressed and plagued by feelings of guilt and shame, tell your Superego to go take a ???FLYING FUCK IN A ROLLING DONUT!!!?? and don't stop until you feel that red energy rise up in yourself or better yet, you end up having a good laugh,,, Busting a lot of glass bottles I feel is great therapy also.

Yea it's a huge problem. The women used to be forced to marry only for survival. Or as a holy grail. Men mostly had a choice in the women they wanted to marry but women generally didn't have a choice in deciding the groom. They had to marry the man who picked them. Most families would tell the girl that it's in her best interests to marry the man who has approached or be single for the rest of her life. Girls were usually coaxed and India has a strong history of evil against women. Too many social evils committed against women. But the generational curse is breaking. Women are moving towards empowerment which is real feminism. They don't want to be stuck in abusive marriages. They are making their own money and living their own life. This is one of the reasons why I didn't want to be a mother in my life and why I promised myself that I will never marry into an Indian family. Because then the cycle continues. I wanted to break that cycle. My dad was kinda ugly, he was a good guy but he didn't look attractive, he was attracted to my mom and she was very beautiful in her younger years and my dad approached her family for marriage and she wasn't willing to marry him. Yet her family forced her and gave her the option to either marry my dad or be single or suicide. My mother tried to attempt suicide and she was saved. But she wasn't given an option to get a job because nobody would help her get an education or any other assistance. She wanted to go to college and complete her education but her family didn't allow her and she reluctantly agreed to marry my dad. Also my mom was attracted to another man who was quite handsome and charming. But her family never allowed that guy to make any approaches. Her brother's wives were jealous that she would get a good groom so they hastily arranged her marriage to my father.. In India a girl child is considered a burden in the family.. The boy child is considered a prince or treasure. So if a boy is born, the whole family rejoices and if a girl is born, some fathers will mourn the birth of a daughter. So the solution to this problem in their minds was to marry the daughter to some man and get rid of this burden. She would be mistreated by the husband and the husband's family and this was her life, living like a burden on society. There was an inherent misogyny in Indian society, an inherent hate towards women. Even the Hindu scriptures demonized women and looked at women as the source of all evil. Probably that's where the misogyny comes from. The situation was so bad that my mom used to tell me that in an average Indian family, the boy would be fed milk but not the girl, she would be fed very little and the entire focus of the family would be on the son and not the daughter. The son would get all the love and attention from parents. The situation was so severe for so many decades that there was female infanticide, basically killing the girl child when she was born or aborting a female foetus once the gender of the foetus was detected as female. It was so bad that the Indian government had to step in and stop the gender identification of foetuses. This is where the generational trauma for women comes from. Then there was a problem of dowry. If a woman wanted to get married to feel less of a burden on her family, her family had to pay dowry to the husband in the marriage, before the wedding is fixed. Or sometimes after. The dowry was an insane amount of money the family had to pay. Sometimes the groom would demand a house or a car or very huge amount of cash as a dowry gift. Or else he would threaten to divorce their daughter. And a divorced woman would be considered like a curse or a taboo in our society, like she would need to hide herself and live in misery and anonymously. Then the husband would harass his wife and tell her to ask for more dowry from her parents. Girls were poorly educated and there was no concept as "women working" back in the 80s. So her only survival was her husband. She also had to live with the husband's family even if she didn't wish to live with them, and she was supposed to serve the husband, and his family and she was considered a good wife if she was a perfect slave to everyone. So you will see in old Indian movies, the woman is shown as touching the husband's feet and calling him a God and massaging the feet of her father in law and serving everyone and eating last. Her life was all about serving everyone's needs in the husband's family but her own. There was nothing like her dreams, her career, her life, she was just a possession of the husband. The dowry system was so bad that many women in the 70s, 80s and the 90s were literally set ablaze and burned alive by the families of the groom. This was done In order to let the guy remarry the woman of his choice in an effort to collect more dowry. My mom kept the old newspapers safe from the 90s decade and I used to read when I grew up and they will filled with news stories of horrible atrocities against wives /daughter in laws in the name of dowry. There was an ancient practice in India called Satee. Which meant that if a woman lost her husband to death, then during the funeral she had to jump into the funeral pyre of her husband and get herself killed as a sacrifice or tribute to her husband. She was then considered a good wife. This evil practice was then eradicated by the British. Indian men had the general belief that a woman should be a virgin or he will refuse to marry her or have a relationship with her. It was considered that a woman who was not a virgin was not pure and that she should be rejected. Even this day a lot of Indian men will directly ask the girl "are you a virgin?", but it doesn't matter if the guy is a virgin or not. If a woman became a widow in our culture, then she was never allowed to remarry. These days they do, but it's rare. Back in those days, like 60 years ago, if a woman was a widow, then she was forced to shave her head and wear white clothes so that she wouldn't attract any man My mom lost her husband(my dad) when I was very young and she never remarried. If she ever wore makeup, people used to snare at her. She wouldn't get invited to parties. So you can see how Indian women suffered generational trauma under an evil patriarchal system where marriage was her saving grace from death or suicide but marriage was also her misery pit. Today, the situation is kinda better, not that much because we haven't completely yanked the patriarchy out. The government made laws against dowry and female infanticide and all other evil practices against women. But this does not mean that they don't happen. In some places they still do, and dowry still gets exchanged undercover. Indian women are deeply ingrained by their parents and general Indian culture that their survival is impossible without a man or husband. They are not taught freedom. They are taught their destiny is in the hands of a man. Compared to women, men have it much better here, they are given a lot of freedom and privilege. They are treated like kings in the family as well as society. But today the women in my country want to change this mentality. I don't want to marry an Indian man for survival. I am educated and I can survive on my own. So the women are fighting hard against patriarchal beliefs and rules and traditions. We are getting there, not just yet. Hinduism as a religion has all the good principles but the "treatment of women" part of Hinduism is deeply marinated in misogyny. All the female goddess stuff is bullshit. The goddesses only exist in the temple, in reality no woman is treated like a goddess. And don't let an indian man fool you by making you believe that Indian women have it good if a woman became a prime minister in the country in the old decades. First of all, the only woman who became a prime minister and on top of that, she was assassinated. It's like saying racism stopped in America because Obama became president. Such things are a ploy to distract from real evil. All in all, women in my country had to suffer a lot of evil and I feel bad for the women before me, especially my mom because she had to live her whole life with a man she didn't love, with a man she didn't wish to marry, he was a good husband, but she didn't want him, so it was a source of tremendous frustration for her and she never wanted the same fate for me so she raised me to choose the man I want to, she never forced me to marry or be with someone that I didn't want to be with. It's sad that women had to suffer so much in my country and yet get so much hate. India definitely has the blood of many innocent women on its hands. If you really want to witness what misogyny looks like in a real form, come to India..