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@Leo Gura I prefer to call it Bliss, not pleasure.

Hi Ernest, From what I understand, There never was a universe that ever came into being in the first place, there never is, there never will ever be.. All that is.. is a dreamy appearance which appears as a solid reality.. including the very concept of time which includes both of these concepts of BEGINNING and an END; as well as PAST, PRESENT & FUTURE. All that is.. is nothing but a watery mirage in the desert. There is no such a thing called mirage anywhere.. nor is the water which appears within it. Both are just illusory appearances. Similarly there is no universe anywhere prior to the appearance of the mind.. which is nothing more than a mirage and the objects which appear in it which are nothing more than watery appearances of dancing images in that mirage called mind. There is no such a thing called mind anywhere nor the objects within it. All of it is just an imaginary appearance in infinite consciousness. BUT, relative appearances have relative relevance and are relatively real. Not to be ignored or taken lightly. They have their own significance in terms of conditioned patterns, meanings and values of the minds that perceive and experience them. The questions WHAT, WHEN, WHY & HOW, etc. these are the questions of the mind. When the mind dissolves and attains oneness, or prior to any projection of a universe within some mind, what is there and who is there to ask such questions and to whom? There is only IT remaining within itself, supported by itself, as itself, cognizing itself alone without any second object. That is what everything IS, including YOURSELF. Thinking doesn't exist in that state. Questions do not arise either, because of lack of a mind. IT is what the enlightened describe as BRAHMAN in its inseparable Non-Dual form of SAT-CHIT-ANANDA pronounced as(SATH-CHITH-AANANDHA) SATH(ETERNITY of EXISTENCE - A state(not even..), not a continuous extension of time) CHITH(KNOWLEDGE - Not intellectual knowledge, but the raw COGNIZANCE/CONSCIOUSNESS itself) AANANDHA (BLISS - Natural state of Ecstasy/Exuberance and Unconditional Love) But, these are just words. The enlightened say that just like the blind person cannot understand the concept of color through intellectual understanding, similarly the unenlightened will never understand BRAHMAN/CONSCIOUSNESS/REALITY/GOD through intellectual reasoning. It is something to be experienced directly in order to understand it perfectly. Also, there are different depths of enlightenment and infinite truths(different ways consciousness can configure itself into) to be enlightened about. what was the first iteration of the universe? There never was one. But If you want to experience and perceive such a thing, you can certainly in your meditative state experience such a thing called a beginning of all of reality. BUT, although such an experience will feel realistic and true for you, others can also perceive such a thing in their own meditative state which is radically different from how you perceived it. Moreover, you yourself may perceive it differently each time you try to perceive it. It all depends on the conditioning and the state of the mind that perceives it. There are certain aspects that are perceived and 'the way they are related to' which is common for all/some minds in a universe, whereas other aspects which are different for each one.

The universe is a macrocosm and you're the microcosm. Both are operating in similar ways. Now I compare the universe to little everyday things and I find similarities and I think the universe gets mirrored in little things. So I compare the universe to... Lots of similarities. A factory producing goods Human digestion process Human hormonal system starting from the pituitary gland Plant growing from a seed Sex Cleaning of a vessel -removing dirt and unwanted stuff. But it mimics a part of the universe Physical exercise Cooking Relationship Painting Sculpting Art Poetry Music 4 processes here Ignition Combustion Flow(climax ) Bliss Stasis and Nonchalance After this everything is just expansion of consciousness in minor and major ways.

Three processes Primordial process Heat dissipation, continuous restless and churning Climax or formation This is similar to the process of sex.. Where you have a concept or idea of foreplay Processes in sex Foreplay Churning or restlessness or tension Climax Rest The whole process of sex tantrically mimics the whole process of creation of the universe. So the whole process of universe is as follows (it follows the flow of tantric sex ) Conceptual /primordial /consciousness (foreplay /tease) Heat dissipation - churning, restlessness /tension Climax. Spiritual climax. Feeling of ignition, ecstasy, enlightenment, freedom, pure bliss, experience, awakening, energy expression, cultivation, growth, expulsion, cleaning, equilibrium, policing, flow, cycle Rest. Permanent equilibrium. 4 processes here Ignition Combustion Flow(climax ) Bliss Stasis and Nonchalance In a constant state of sex.

It's easy to feel good. Easy to choose to do something that contains more happiness, joy, excitement, passion, bliss than how you felt before. It's easy to put on a song that makes you feel better than you did before. Easy to think a thought that feels better than the previous one. Easy to do change your focus on something that feels a little better than what you used to focus on. When you feel good, doesn't goodness come to you? Easy to feel good when goodness comes to you. And then thus more goodness coming to you? Even easier to feel good then. It's easy, and fun, to think, while walking in the supermarket, on how you can do so in a most fun/exciting/joyous way. Easy to say something to someone that makes you feel a little better than what you used to say to him/her. It's fun, it's exciting, to make your day feel as good as you can and then the next day again. Easy. Easy! Easy!! No need to figure stuff out. No need to try hard or struggle with all sort of techniques. No need to take all sort of things into consideration when you want to choose something that feels good. You feel a little sucky at work and feel that you can't just quit with it? Still easy to make it a little more fun, joyous and exciting than the day before. Before feeling bad has gotten momentum, stop it before it's gets big, take a pause, do something that feels better. Even easier to feel good the next day, and the next, and the next! It's easy to overcome not good feeling states. It's easy to feel joy, easy to feel excitement, easy to feel appreciation for your life. Easy, sneazy, peasy

@Snt_lk It is not really that other's don't exist, it is that we are the ineffable boundless infinite that is indistinct. The way you relate to anything is threw concepts, you make a distinction about a percived patturn in what is going on, and then you say it is this or that, but it is just the infinite fractal doing its thing, endlessly abstracting. If you didn't have any concepts there would be nothing to relate to, only being the beingness of Being, being You, God loving itself, doing God's thing, Being. The only reason that there would be anything to get is a relative reason, you are creating all reasons, the truth is you don't need to do anything. Although I would say it would be a good idea to desire what is true and aline yourself with that. What is true is always true, it is waiting for you to awaken to it, You are the Truth. The desire for survival pulls pretty hard, but we can trancend it, and just be in infinite bliss always.

Did this before and same with me. Just got launched straight into unfathomable bliss. I think I'm Gona try that way again. Recently when I plugged my ego started freaking out and started breathing real heavy and I could feel it saying "get the 5meo outta my ass RN!" lol. and I didn't even get past the first bit of the come up. I know plugging probably moves slower and offers more time to disintegrate the ego deeper. But Im the same as yourself @zikzak I need the 5meo train2hitMe *Choo Choo* lol

It's not about you or me doing or not doing. You can't change the nature of things. People change. Your only best shot is to screen for best compatibility but even then there is no guarantee. The only guarantee ever is a short term bliss.

It depends on the context of how you use the term "I". In my view, you seem to be using it at a personal / human level. There is immense potential in self healing, yet there are certain illnesses / injuries that would be extremely difficult to heal. I don't think it's fair to assume someone can simply heal certain illnesses and injuries by choosing to. One key aspect of severe trauma is that you don't have the power to believe your thoughts. You don't have the power to choose a thought that feels better or is more empowering. I'm talking about severe trauma in which that power is stripped away from you - that is one reason it is so hellish. What you are saying is great in some contexts, yet from my pov you do not understand what severe trauma is actually like. Keep in mind that PTSD is a difficult mind-body condition to treat. I think what you propose can be helpful in many cases and perhaps even cure some cases, yet I also think there are serious cases in which it's not so simple. As well, I'm not talking about mild traumas most of us face like a hyper-critical parent or dating a narcissist. I'm talking about intense trauma, severe anxiety, panic and psychosis. That is great and I totally agree. My father was an alcoholic and I experienced both verbal and physical abuse. Similar to how you describe, I introspected my thought stories and let them go. I've also had an amazing relationship with my father for over 20 yrs. I completely support this approach. Yet this isn't what I'm referring to. Here, what I'm trying to point to is that an aspect of severe trauma and PTSD is physical. It goes deeper than the illusion of controlling the narrative in one's mind. Ime, one of the most horrific components of severe panic is losing control of that illusory narrative. This mindset won't see a holistic view that includes what you are saying. My view is that what you are pointing at has value - yet there is a bigger picture. There is the value of the perspective you are offering AND value within scientific perspectives AND intellectual understanding AND direct experience perspectives AND empathic understanding. There is an expansive, inter-connected view that includes what you are saying. This is a construct you are creating. This is not at all what I'm saying. A creation of a thing called "wellness" is a relative construct. There are many forms of "well" and "not well" we can create. You seem to think that I see people with psychiatric issues as "not well". That would be partially inaccurate. I would say the experience of love and loving people as they are is enjoyable, yet my deeper desires are not to seek feelings of enjoyment. I would rather experience a wide range of human experience. This includes, yet is not limited to, feelings of enjoyment. This is one reason I have experiential understanding of a variety of places that most people would avoid. I'll go there and I'll go deep - sometimes into some extremely disturbing places. By saying "I choose good feelings", one is limiting themself. I have approached many doors and knew something deeply profound was on the other side. Yet I didn't know if it would involve "good" or "bad" feelings. You seem to be saying "don't go through the door if you can't choose for it to be a good feeling". That may be fine for others, yet I don't want to limit myself to a subset of experiences, insights and understanding. At the deeper experiential levels, I don't get to decide what's on the other side of the door. I've got to be willing to surrender that control. I've experienced bliss, love and beauty beyond description as well as tortuous realms of terror and agony. And I paid the price of entry. Thinking of myself as an empathic person is unappealing to me. I use the term "empathy" at times as a way to point and communicate to an immaterial essence. The term is used differently by different people. For me, empathy is not an intellectual or self identity thing. For me, empathy is a form of understanding and knowing that does not come from intellectual analysis and concept construction. It would be like sitting by a river with a friend and sharing a cool breeze together. Then the friend asks "Do you prefer to think of yourself as a 'breeze-full' person?". From the perspective of the breeze and the essence of sharing the breeze, it is a nonsensical question. That sounds like generic forms of identification. I'm referring to different phenomena. I see things as an integrated, holistic perspective that includes concepts, science, logic, spirituality, direct experience, empathic understanding, energetics and intuition. All of the boundaries between these categories are fuzzy to begin with and dissolve under observation and clarity. They are all inter-related in a whole. The only reason I use them is for convenience and communication. In the world I live, they are flowing together in a larger whole. In the context of enlightenment of a person / human, awakenings can certainly relieve a lot of mind-body distress - yet awakenings will not magically cure someone of all their neuroses, conditioning and ailments.

The more I [very slowly] see that I'm creating everything around me...the more I realise that everything is subjective perception and that i can choose to see things in a positive light. Allowing my tangible bliss and love flow into whatever part of my mind is feeling bad. Positivity is good. I mean if I get enlightened maybe I won't need positivity. But right now I do

What do my peeps think about the slowness of the come up whilst plugging? Advantage or disadvantage? I've found my ego struggles a lot more when it goes slowly. Like it has more time to sit and see what is coming and thus freak out slightly...and also, I'm considering giving up plugging and just smoking it because plugging is too much friggin effort to get right. Twice recently I plugged 20mg and felt very little. No bliss, no insane enlightenment states. Thoughts my brethren?

This is a very practical topic which will help you to get more effective and happier in life. Integrating Emotions What are Emotions? Emotions are a form of energy. This energy exists. If it is not already, it will becomes gnaringly obvious after doing the work explained later in this post. For now we have a look at some examples where we can see this energy in our everyday lives. When we are stressed we sweat or our hearts beat fast. We might be unable to concentrate or get tunnel vision. Triggers exist. When we feel very emotional about a topic we will react strongly whenever this topic comes up. How other people react to us. People will sense our emotions (especially woman), even if they only ever so slightly find their ways into our micro expressions. When we surpress emotions and let the energy get stuck in our body we feel heavy. Keeping the energy down and holding it in takes effort. Because of this we can feel exhausted. Sex. That strong rush of energy. Feeling of turn on. Again, this post is not about philosophy or concepts but to teach you a practical skill that will help you immensely if you take it seriously. It will also help you to get out of victim mentality and take responsibility for your life. Emotions are what motivate your actions and shape your reality. Examples: Backwards rationalization: We do something out of emotional impulses, to pull us towards one emotion and/or push us away from another emotion. Then rationalize our controversial actions after the fact. Life circumstances: When we get hurt or abused in childhood our adult-self will draw similar situations or relationships in our lives again and again. Not out of poor reasoning but because we subconsciously feel like this is how our reality should be. Our emotions will drive us to what we subconsciously want with greater precision and reliability than a fine swiss watch. Science: Reason is only the secondary process when we do science. Emotions, psychology and ego are the primary processes. You would be wrong to think that reason and logic are the driving force behind your actions. Emotions are what move you. Our emotions are a navigation system and show us how much we are in alignment with reality, with life. When we feel heavy emotions we are out of sync. If we feel light in our body and our emotions, we know we are in balance. When it comes to emotions there are mostly two kind of people. Those who feel emotions and those who do not. Emotions are located in the body. If you can't feel anything you are shutting parts of your body down and restricting the flow of energy there. Yes, you do. All humans are highly emotional creatures. Emotions drive almost everything we do (Survival, Relationships, Sales, Business, Politics, Music, Literature & Movies etc.). And they are very important in your life. Emotions are the key to real Growth. Whatever journey you decide to go on. Past, present, or future. If you are already in tune with your emotions and are able to feel into your body you can skip to STEP 2. Alltough, it will be beneficial to start here. Step 1: Getting in touch with your Emotions The first step is always to feel something. To do that we need to open up to this energy. Remember I said emotions are in your body? They are but you might not be able to feel them right away. What helped me was talking to friends about their emotions and finding out where they feel them and let them describe how specific emotions feel to them. What I also did was looking up a study which asked people a similar question. They then created these body maps on where certain emotions can be found in the body. And I just looked out for them. 1. Sit down in a quiet environment and focus on the body parts mentioned above. Open your heart, open your chest. Do some basic meditation focused on bringing awareness to your body and relax into it as good as you can. Depending on how good you were at feeling your emotions before this can take a while. Don't expect to feel anything right away. Stick with it because the payoffs will be immense. 2. Think about a moment in your life where you felt a really strong emotion. Could be anything, anger, fear or happiness. Now imagine the situation in as much detail as you can and see if you can feel the emotion again. 3. Notice how in heated debates, discussions or arguments you might become emotionally triggered. Notice where in your body you can feel this. If you already start to feel something, even if it is just an ache, something restricting or opening up, cold or warmth in your body and you can link it to an emotion you can do this. 4. Do Mindfulness practice with labeling feelings as emotions. Notice how some emotions might be masked and hide behind different emotions. Emotions can be linked to different Emotional States. I'll start with the heaviest ones. Fear, Grief and Apathy. If you are someone who can't feel their emotions you are probably in Apathy. Now, Apathy is a coping mechanism we use when there are too many emotions. Imagine for example being at work and something really sad happens and it overruns you emotionally. Instead of being with that emotion we suppress it to keep on functioning. But it doesn't have to be at work. The fundamental mechanism at work is that we don't want to feel the emotions. Could be because of fear, ego, peer-pressure, social conditioning etc. The more lighter Emotional States are Desire, Anger, Pride Courage, Acceptance, Peace/Bliss Love Just be mindful of the Emotional States and repeat the 4 practices in this step until you are able to feel from your body and not be in your head. You don't need to perfect this step. But the better you become at getting in touch with your emotions the better the next step works and vice versa. Step 2 (A): Accept & Let Go The counter-intuitive nature of emotions is that you will not suffer by feeling unwanted emotions. But you will suffer if you repress emotions and restrict energy in your body. Let go of the identification with what you fear. Let go of problems in your life and the story around those. This is real Growth, letting go. Now, we all have different stories and problems we want to let go here but Hale Dwoskin identified 5 needs we all have to some degree. Need for acceptance Need for control Need for protection Need for oneness/seperateness In any given situation see if you can feel one or more of these needs coming up. Look at the need. See how it is like and where it is located in your body. Give yourself permission to feel it fully. Accept that it is there. And let it go. This was the warm up. Now we will go a little bit deeper. Coming back to the second practice from step 1. You are hopefully able to feel the emotion and label it. Imagine the same scenario or a different one where you felt a strong emotion that you want to let go. Maybe you felt an incredible fear because you wanted to do something out of your comfort zone, or you felt rejected by someone you care about, or you felt anger towards someone who hurt you, or you felt sad. Can be anything, you can even go into your childhood memories if you want. Get comfortable and feel into your body. Ask yourself the following questions and listen for the answers in your body. Can you welcome your experience? Notice what it feels like. Any sense of abandonment, sense of frustration? Just sit with it. Any sense of wanting to control it, push it down? Any sense of you wanting approval? Or push approval away? Any sense of wanting security, wanting to survive or quit? Welcome it. Any sense of wanting seperation/being alone, or wanting oneness, really wanting someone to love me? Welcome everything and notice what comes up the most and pick that one. And ask, can I let this go? This wanting. Than ask your body can you let go any of that wanting? A little more? Then ask yourself can you let go of the experience itself? Notice your body, emotions and sensations. Maybe they release completely, maybe only a bit? Can you welcome the experience, can you feel your heart, stomach your body while doing this? Can you notice what you are feeling, letting go of thinking about it. Feeling the emotional experience. Can you notice wanting to do anything with this experience or about it? Can you let that whole experience go? Or maybe only let go a little bit? Do it 10-20 minutes until you feel a sense of relief in that area, sense of relaxation. Relax in your body. Notice how your body is doing this. What you did here is called releasing based on the Sedona Method. I highly recommend it. During release you might cry, feel intense pain and I've even seen people vomit. It doesn't have to happen but don't be surprised if it happens when you go deep into old repressed emotions. Release your emotions and focus on what happens after the release. For example: What is behind anger? As you do that, you will find that beyond the current emotion you might feel a greater truth, a greater emotion. Notice the constant flux in your emotions going from better to worse to better, let it flow. If you get into a real deep state you can realize certain things about your memories or reality. Those realizations can make a big change in your life alone. Don't get attached to them If you feel that you still have resistance start by feeling into you body. Welcome tightness or pain in your body and let it be there for a second. Be with it. Welcome resistance, notice you can handle it. Welcome acceptance, notice if it feels lighter. Switching back and forth. Breath with it. Be with it. Allow it to be there. Notice any wanting to do anything with this resistance. Just be with the resistance. You can even see an emotion from all different perspectives over several days. Again, give yourself permission to feel it. Don't judge it. Acceptance: If you are ok with either getting something or not you will be in emotional alignment. Step 2 (B): Self-Love For this step having non-dual insights or experiences is a prerequisite as I wont be going into much detail here. You are not seperate from anything. Everything is you. Everything is exactly as it should be. Whatever you experienced in life or are experiencing right now is exactly as it should be. You are Love. Expand your uncoditional Love towards your experiences and your body. Expand your Love to any situation you want to let go and release. If someone rejected you - Love that. If someone hurt you - Love that. If you feel fearful or sad - Love that. If you took something personal - Love that. If you feel any heavy emotions like Grief, Sadness or Apathy - Love that. You can even start with asking if you can love this emotion 1%, 2%... Make small steps in the beginning. When you start to Love more and more and get more into your body you can even go as far and take enjoyment in everything that makes you feel heavy emotions. There is no one telling you you can't. Closing Words What you will notice is, you become lighter and lighter. Your body will get used to releasing emotions. And you will become better at it. At first you need courage, to deeply feel negative emotions, then it will require patience, great stamina & tenacity. If you have been struggling with something in your life, I'd suggest you release your emotions every day, for at least 2 hours. This is not something you do for a few minutes and then expect big results. You might get great results. But your baselines emotions will not change by much. If you want to change your inner world, expect to release hours everyday for months! If you release on your childhood issues/traumas. And then release again on those memories from a different angle. Your life will lift up automatically. As Lester Levenson said, we want to get the push out of us, so the world stops pushing back. Focus on your Emotional States. They will direct your life magically. When you do this work you will notice that you feel better and better. Because of this you achieve goals easier with minimal work. Your action becomes easy rather than destructive. If you want to achieve something while being in a state of Apathy or Grief it will be so much more difficult. Don't waste your time trying to work on something while being in that Emotional State, instead get in a lighter State like Courage and then continue with whatever you where doing. Like with everything in Self-Actualization it is harder when there is no one around you doing it, too. I kinda got lucky because I hang around releasing coaches who are very indulged in this kind of work. Surround yourself with people who are on the same inner journey. What also helps is general body awareness. Because your emotions are stored in your body, becoming aware of tension in your body/muscles is key. Become directly conscious of what I am pointing towards here. Just looking at and understanding the pointer is not enough! Feel it. Another thing is, you don't want to do this for fixing yourself. You will likely get stuck. Yes, we carry these energies and shadows inside of us. But it doesn't mean you are somehow broken or that there is something wrong with you. From my experience everyone has some shadow energy that they haven't felt or looked at for a while. It's not a bug, it's a feature. It is your journey and it defines all the experiences you make. When doing these exercises you are not fixing yourself, you are growing. And you will grow immensely, Be ready for it ❤️

@Aaron p Great post! I personally really love bhakti yoga. Bhakti Yoga is very effective at creating emotions of love, bliss, selflessness, surrender and devotion. And raising your consciousness that way.

...as a means to intuively raise consciousness alongside hardcore practices. Awakening is hardcore, yes. So things like psychological strength are important... But Is it not also important to teach on how to literally create a more loving/enlightened reality *emotionally* since emotional evolution (with peace love and bliss at the top to.move towards) are an important avenue to self realization in that they can be used and accessed *intuively. ? Do we not need practical teachings on emotional elevation? Or perhaps what it means to intuively open ones heart...maybe make a video on "what is a heart"? I get that what is happening here is destroying egos including your own, and that that requires stringent teaching and heavy practices...but is there no place for teachings about emotions awakening...and hardcore emotional tenderness and sensitivity? ...positivity? Yes the shadow is for the most part ignored in other schools...but do we want to be careful not to let the pendulum swing too far the other way in that we completely forget about positive emotions and grace? What's your thoughts on compassion and kindness...and opening the intuitive heart? (Btw I'm well aware of how the practices work and how the ego is meant to try harder and harder until it fails, at which point the heart and intuitive love and emotions open. I wonder if I'd be the only one who would be interested in hearig your thoughts regarding this functionality and it's necessity, especially for those who have access to 5meo..). Also is it not important that we know how to surrender to love, intuively via emotions so that our ego doesent get ripped away too violently or quickly causing potential psychological damage?

I only had limited experience with polyamory... I was in a situation when I really felt free and happy with what I became in life and this fulfilment of mine seemed to attract women, too. My libido was sky high and one particular sensual girl opened up what I could only describe as "tantric" sex. No special rituals or anything, just intuitive, out of this world love-making, seeing things, "getting high" from sex, feeling energy flowing, connecting, her having very long (like 10 minutes and more of whole body shaking and twisting) orgasms, I had whole body orgasms, sort of "energetic" ones, etc. We also really felt connected and at ease with each other. A very deep and respectful interaction was going on. I tried to make sense of it all and found it all written in books on Daoist, Tantric, Sex Magick and similar sex practices, but there they mentioned practices and exercises to achieve that, while we somehow tapped into it intuitively. I also had zero need to "possess" her, no jealousy, she also expressed her wish to experiment with another female friend of hers, she was attracted to one of her old friends, who was gay, but she thought they could have sex anyway... and I encouraged her to be free, to experience it all, it takes nothing away from what we had... but - when I look back - I was not really in love with her - not deeply - I loved her as a very good friend, I was attracted to her sexually, but never imagined us becoming a monogamous "couple"... Yet the feeling of the moment was really liberating - like we could experience whatever we want, respect and love each other and everyone involved - it was very fresh and special. We had a few months of out of this world romance, also some "ritualistic magic" sex ordeals with some cannabis edibles, psilocybe mushrooms and not leaving the house for the whole weekends, only having crazy sex for several hours through the days and night, some resting, sleep and sex again, mutual bathing, food, wine, psychedelic journeys, music... all merging into one incredible sensual journey beyond reason, morality, shame, prejudices, where everything was allowed, everything tried out, us being completely open, transparent in our desires to each other, completely unhinged lust, even transforming into animals in visions - making love like a lion and lioness, making love as Shiva (archetype?), experiencing complete surrender, flow, sexual organs were shape-shifting into different forms and ways of connection - like my penis was "travelling" inside her body energetically, becoming longer, thicker, filling her deep, then becoming leaner and snake-like moving through her, triggering intense sensations of pleasure, bodies merging into one another ... all of that even increased that "tantric" kind of experience. It was not just sex, it was "witchcraft" and I really wish everyone alive can experience that. There's so much more possible in lovemaking than the ordinary sex. But there came the time when she had to go to Berlin and I had to go to have some workshops and lectures with other people and we were separated for a while. I was still in that special energy - feeling completely free and open, everything allowed, no jealousy, no possessiveness, I even joked with her on email if she managed to have sex with her female crush and how was it... and I genuinely wished that she had and that she experienced that. But she only wrote to me about how she misses me and about the plans where to go on holidays together, which I was looking forward to, also. While I was with other people there was one particularly nice friend, and as open as I was, she became attracted to me and I felt desire for her. It felt so innocent, so pure, nothing bad meant for anyone, only passion unhinged. We kissed almost by accident one day, the tension becoming too high and we had a wild "affair" in the hotel, the room was shared with some other attendees of the seminar we were at, so we even sneaked onto a balcony at night to have sex, once also got "caught" by one friend, who just left the balcony and we were so lustful that we continued "fucking", knowing she won't come back... We were shameless, joking with our unhinged desire - we talked in dirty words about our lust, being a cocky bastard, she liked to be a "whore", bitch, wanted me to watch her, doing all kind of "depraved" sexual acts with full intensity, we "fucked like rabbits"... she was even squirting - which I experienced for the first time. But there was absolutely no negative emotion, no shame, no jealousy... I also felt deep appreciation and affection towards her. Like finding another special person with whom we can connect on deeper levels. It was a real feeling of bliss on Earth. Freshness, freedom, love, sexual energy! I felt I need to tell my other lover about that, I thought, wow, we have something special going on - everyone is so open, sensual, we can have such a special time on this Earth, enjoying so much together, no one "owning" anyone, all sharing affection and sensuality... and then - blackout... she was devastated to hear I had sex with another woman, she obviously only pretended to be open and free and wanting to experiment with others, while I really felt this openness and freedom... Then I started thinking if all this was wrong - if I hurt people... was I morally wrong? Selfish? I still felt honest and free, but I witnessed hurting others with my unhinged actions... All of us stopped communicating (they didn't want to hear from me). Then another crush of mine contacted me. A very sexy, but timid girl, who didn't know what she wants - she was very horny, single and not able to make connections to any man for several years, because she was too hurt in the past relationships. We met and (because I seemed to be so open and it somehow translated to others) she overcame her shyness and invited me for a massage (she was doing some training for a massage therapist) I agreed. Of course it turned into another otherworldly love-making session... I discovered that obviously that first girl (or our interaction) opened something in me - some sort of "sexual initiation" and that from now on I had similar experiences with all the lovers who were also surprised and discovered a new way of love-making in our "sessions"... The trick was, though, that it also triggered some sort of possessiveness, they wanted to keep that only for themselves, despite declaring free spirit and openness before. It only complicated things way too much. Everyone getting hurt, me feeling like a "gigolo" asshole in the end. We talked about these things, but none of them could feel the same way, even though they contacted me, wanted to establish communication again, but ignoring the other girls, like they don't exist... I think it is very difficult to have those dynamic relationships and maintain some balance, so everyone is happy and friends with everyone else... At that moment none of them had other partners, so I couldn't test how I would REALLY feel - because it was only hypothetical - maybe I would also become jealous or sad or felt cheated... Anyway - we managed to come to terms later and remain (distant) friends and I connected with another girl later, felt deep love for her, a sense of belonging and it felt like a very deep connection, so we "formed a couple" and live together now. I understand this feeling of openness and freedom, but I really don't desire more partners now. I am happy with my "wife" and we develop and grow together. Maybe some of you will find a way to remain in such an open relationship in which everyone is fulfilled and happy, but my experience was as I wrote in all the detail to paint the complexity of the situation (it was even more messed up and tasking). I have no prejudices either way. Do what feels right and makes you function and grow better in this world. Be honest and loving to other people in any way you function with them. But even with all good intentions, you could end up hurting others. Also - really be honest about your actions - having more partners to whom you lie and hide others, is not polyamory, Complete honesty and transparency is needed and then you will see if everyone is really happy in that "arrangement" and if it works.

I think the world is not headed to a very beautiful place, not yet. I can see through the eyes of my deeper mind that the world is depositing more and more entropy everyday. The system is getting clogged with entropy. The chaos and bad karma is increasing day by day. The pandemic is also a sign of that rising accumulating entropy. It's more like a spiritual pandemic that we aren't paying attention to. This is because we are becoming more and more godless. People are running away from church. Most importantly people are moving away from God. There is no marriage with God anymore. Marriage means communion. There's no more communion with God. Things are getting shallow, people are getting trashy, things are getting cheap, plastic and superficial. Even emotions aren't true anymore, they are becoming plastic as well, people do fake crying for sympathy, attention and money. Reality TV shows. Morality is on a general decline. Morality directly comes from having God in your soul. When you start losing God, you start losing morality. You start losing your higher self. You devolve into a superficial creature. For equilibrium in this world, spirituality is needed. So when you becomes less and less spiritual, less and less moral, you also increase entropy or chaos in the system. Chaos is such a sneaky thing that it's not visible on the outside. The world is going to look like fireworks, you will see glory of talent and art, expansion of technology, this will definitely mask the underlying chaos, so it will look like the world is doing great overall, but that's just an illusion. All the achievements in the world, all the exciting things that you see is an illusion. The reality is that the world is rapidly moving towards chaos. The world is not showing any signs of order. When chaos increases in a system, there is no harmony, remember harmony between soulmates is the prerequisite for equilibrium and equanimity. Without this harmony, there is no equilibrium. The equilibrium of the world is slowly getting chipped away. Entropy is rapidly displacing equilibrium. The world is in a deep state of chasm. You kind of feel that the world is moving forward and doing better than before, but this is merely an illusion. An illusion that the devil is more than glad about. Because why would the Devil want you to wake up? Your ignorance is his bliss. At the same time, the more you get closer to God in terms of your relationship, the more the devil is repelled. This communion with God is what creates beauty in life. The devil secretly hates such a collision. The biggest game of the devil is to make you feel like he doesn't exist. Imagine God as your soulmate. Then you have nothing to worry. You will suddenly feel fearlessness. The devil doesn't like this fearlessness. This fearlessness is like an impenetrable surface for the devil. Because the devil loves seeing fear in your heart. Since fear is the root cause of all the failures, breakups, fights, discord, maladies, paranoia, delusions, miseries, chaos and a lot more, the devil is always happy if the world lives in fear. Your state of fearlessness is a major worry. Nothing can destroy or break you when you're in a state of fearlessness. This the devil hates a lot. It's an obstacle that the devil just cannot get rid of.. It's a stalemate for him. When you become fearless, you get a grip on the Devil's neck. He can no longer play his games. The only true way to become fearless is to become one with God. Because only God is the source of true love. Love removes fear The illusion that is sold to you is that the world is doing better. This prevents you from waking up to the truth. Actually the truth is far from what you have been fed. You've been fooled by all the technology to believe that the world is doing better. In reality the world is not moving forward, but going backwards. There are only certain aspects in which it seems like the world is going forward. For example acceptance of gay marriage. These are just illusions hiding the bigger picture. The bigger picture is that even if there is acceptance of gay marriage, there are other problems that are getting worse in this world like poverty, joblessness, economy, divorce rates, drug addiction etc these things are gradually getting worse. So its no good news. All this positivity of how the world is doing better if people are allowed to date homosexuals, it's all a part of toxic positivity. Because being too flowery and naive is not going to fix the problems of the world, it's nothing but spiritual bypassing that a lot of people do... But it doesn't solve problems. So the bottom line is even if it looks like the world is getting better (which is simply an illusion ) and looks like the world is moving forward, the world is actually moving backwards. The only way for the world to stop it's chaos is by accepting God fully. When people will start accepting God, they will be led to the truth. And they will be led to love and peace. This will automatically control the chaos in the world.

Concentrated death presence is magick. Notes: Where do they come from and how long have they been here? Inorganic beings were discovered by Toltec shamans over 10,000 years ago by accident through use of psychedelics. They considered them to sometimes be allies. The shamans were interacting with projections of the real inorganic being. The shaman's allies real world is a gigantic blob of caverns and pores floating somewhere in space across the cosmos - the actual bodies of the allies exist there like a framework as a massive series of hollow canes bound together like the cells of our bodies. The shamans called this bundle of inorganic beings The Laybrinth of Penumbra. Allies have bodies as real as a humans', there are the hollow cane like structures that make up the labyrinth and shadowy like maintenance being. (Like a janitor.) They roam the halls and regulate energy there. Another manifestation of The Labyrinth of Penumbra is what is called the emissary. It is experienced as a voice heard mostly by people who are lucid dreaming or astral travelling. It can be helpful for providing information as it is incapable of telling a lie, however its ultimate purpose is that of a salesman, trying to entice whoever can hear the emissary to come and live in the labyrinth permanently, having shelter and a nearly everlasting life in exchange for that person's energy. The life of inorganic beings is longer, lasting millions or billions of years, because their consciousness is infinitely more calm and deeper. We interact with a projection, these beings astral project to Earth and are most easily perceived at night, but mostly invisible to the eyes. They are here on Earth to form associations and search for energy. Allies do sometimes materialize invisibly the daylight. Their presence is marked by a bodily jolt and a shiver that comes from the marrow of your bones. Allies are not capable of physically harming a person here in normal reality without the help of a shaman. They are more or less like a ghost. They can startle you and cause you to trip and fall. Organic beings have features such as metabolism and reproduction, allies, which are an attention-like force with awareness, have characteristics unique to them such as emotional dependency. They absorb emotional energy like food: love, hatred, sadness and raw animal fear, which is their favorite. Ancient shamans knew this and would feed their allies by scaring their victims to death. The allies materialized visually with the help of the shaman and then assumed a beastly form and would scare people, feeding off the emotional energy released from their fear. Those shamans would seek the allies ethereal quality, while the allies seek the greater energy field of mankind. It is possible to exchange energy with the allies and both parties can profit. Allies can use the energy to materialize themselves and more, while people can calm their energy in the exchange and extend their lives. The energy exchange can have a drawback. Exchanges can form a dependency on both parties. Useful allies, which are rare, make useful scouts and guardians , can make us strong and powerful and have a few things to teach us. If we exchange energy with a useless being, of which there are many, we may be stuck with it. Inorganic beings outnumber organic beings in the universe. You summon them to the Earth by opening a portal - this is the best way because then they can scope you out from their world and choose you. Meeting an ally and engaging one takes personal power, or saved energy. If you meet one and it seems restless or agitated, then you do not have enough energy to engage it and should probably quietly leave, but if the ally is calm and observing you then that is a good sign that you are ready to engage it. In order to exchange energy with the ally, you need to tackle it. Tackling an ally is not easy. First, keep your mouth shut tightly, because the jolt of grabbing an ally can cause a person to bite their tongue off or crack their teeth from the mouth clamping down so forcefully. (yikes.) Allies release what is a strong electrical charge into you when you tackle them. When you are ready, stand close to the ally and get ready to leap at it and tackle it with all your might. Grab on and hold for dear life, as the ally will try to spin very rapidly and may rise into the air, sending jolts of electricity into your body. Don't let go or you can fall to your death, or get a serious injury. Once the energy exchange is complete, the wrestling match is over. There are more differences between inorganic beings than there are organic ones. Engaging an ally is dangerous enough, but opening a portal is even more dangerous and should be done with a partner for safety. One person seeks for the ally and the other makes sure that the person does not get stuck too deeply in a trance. Portal opening technique: To open a portal, you must submerse a shiny object - like a mirror - into a shallow depth of water - a stream is more ideal for this. Empty all thoughts and gaze into the mirror, let the fluidity of the water exert pressure on your awareness and on the awareness of your partner. Face each other, holding the mirror from underneath while sitting. The portal can go both ways and you do not want to get sucked in by the magnetic power of their world. You would most likely not find your way back. If you feel you are being sucked in or enveloped by a force, roll your eyes clockwise over and over to break the spell. This is where your partner comes in - they have to be the judge if the trance is going too far. Do not stare at your eyes in the mirror or look at your partner's eyes during this time. Let your gaze wander without focusing. After you relax and clear your mind, you may notice a dark shape appear, if it likes your energy it might try to come through the portal. Be calm. Do not show fear or surprise. The secret is not to fear them. A person has to send out an intent of power and abandon. Encode to them in a silent message of intent, "I don't fear you. Come see me. If you do I will welcome you." They are slow and it may take a few tries before you see one. If you want the ally to come through the portal, then drop the mirror when you feel a tug and it will push it's projection through the portal. Then get ready to tackle it and exchange energy. If you feel it is not the right time and you want to back out, then tip the mirror sideways, pull it out of the water and leave. Another way to find an ally is through lucid dreaming. Once a person gets proficient at lucid dreaming, allies can sense that distinct energy charge and they will quickly come to you. It takes time for them to notice you because their awareness is slow - as in, stretched, extended. Inorganic beings called scouts are constantly being sent from the labyrinth into the dreamscape to scout for prospective energetic connections. Scouts appear in a lucid dream as a strange object or being, something that doesn't belong there and comes across as strange/weird. A scout will usually change form or do something wild in a dream once you focus on it. If you recognize it as a scout and shout at it your intent to follow it it will take your dream attention to the labyrinth to see for yourself. Inorganic beings can exert a tremendous pull on a dreamer and easily transport them into worlds beyond description. Take caution. If you do end up finding one in the dreamscape, you will also find it in reality. Another type of inorganic being is called The Flyer, because it jumps into the air and can be seen more easily than other inorganic beings. They hop around. Sort of like flying. I have experienced them as being a part of this labyrinth - or at least, they can come into it if they want and chase you around. If you get caught by them they will make you forget. Apparently they came to Earth eons ago from the depths of the cosmos because we are food for them. They feed on humans remorselessly because we are their sustenance. Just as we raise chickens in coops, they raise us in coops. Mental ones. In order to keep a human from reaching their full potential, they hijack the superego and introject negative thought patterns about who you are that are not congruent with reality, and keep you stuck in a cage of fear and eat from this. You can die into infinite bliss or hell depending on your emotional state. Their goal is to keep you trapped in a fog forever. They keep you focused on the troubles of your daily lives instead of on acquiring Death Vision, so that you are not able to see through the illusion. They are like jesters. They love to jump out and say that they were in fact "nothing" at all! Ha ha ha! Isn't that so funny? I fed on your life! Surprise! They inject into your life whatever is convenient for them and mess up your timeline, your divine trajectory. They are most easily spotted during the twilight hours. If you gaze without focusing and pay close attention to the area near the corner of your eyes you might catch a glimpse. They look like dark blobs or black fish that move around by leaping through the air hopping and flopping. Human babies are born covered from top to bottom with a glowing coat, something like a plastic cover that has adjusted tightly over their cocoon of energy. Man is the only species that has this glowing coat of awareness on the outside of their luminous cocoon, making us easy prey for them. That glowing coat of awareness is what the predator consume. And by the time a human reaches adulthood, all that is left of that glowing coat is a narrow fringe that goes from the ground to the top of the toes and that fringe permits mankind to continue living, but only barely. This narrow fringe of awareness, the only energy we have is the epicenter of self-reflection, where mankind is caught. By playing on our self reflection, which is the only point of awareness left to us - the predators create flares of awareness that they proceed to consume in a ruthless predatory fashion. They give us inane problems that allow these flares to rise and in this manner, they keep us alive in order to be fed with the energetic flare of our daily pseudo concerns. The way to overcome this predator is through the discipline of inner silence Everyone around you wears an identical mask of this creature. Looking out of your eyes. Their eyes. Lies. Look... wetiko. Masks! Distorted reality! Everyone. And it runs the show!

I am. I am that I am. Yet my creation has "blocked" me from knowing fully who I AM. To be God I am writing to myself. Did I arrange you to help wake me up? Is Buddha and Lao Tzu spiritual teachers who I put in my own path to wake me up? Are YOU(Leo) one of those I chose to wake me up? I have been quiet because you are all my creation. I have not said anything as the "ego"/fantasy/false beliefs says it would hurt people's feelings to say I created them and they are all part of my fantasy. I have followed the Tao as it seems most wise. And yet it is a map but says similar things; "The True Tao is not the Tao that can be expressed." This poem I wrote this morning seems to be my current conundrum: I am I am that I cannot explain. I am that I know. I am that I know not. The purpose seems clear. Is it so easy? But where is the why? Why was this done? An impulse stretched out. But what was before the impulse? What movement provided the impetus? What is the fruition point? All evolve and change. What was the prime directive? Was it necessary? Why not start and end with love? When in Bliss all is well. All is perfect. Bliss and means to a self end. I sit in love and observe.

I don't know if there exists a goal outside of aiming for happiness and bliss. I wonder if aiming for happiness makes me miserable. My current truth is one of suffering over addictions and other things. And obviously life is pointless, so things can only be done for their own sake. But overall what I'm seeing is that one has to be okay with pain and suffering There's no such thing as an objective analysis about whether my life is worth living. What stops me from apathetically ending it all is the small part of me that wants to watch life and whatever small glimmers of truth of unfold. In regards to what I wrote in the first paragraph, I saw my mind making a lot of jumps and taking positions. Very rarely do I have the awareness to see what assumptions or baseline emotions are present in my experience. So maybe try more of that, perhaps intensity will build.

As for transcending desires. How about abiding in God consciousness? When I meditate on Love/God/Bliss, desires usually diminish to some extend. Sometimes sexual urges completely dissolve.

Hello everyone! I hope you are doing great. I have decided to do 30 to 60 min of Shamanic Breathing on daily basis in the morning. Is it safe to do Shamanic breathing on a daily basis? I will do Shamanic Breathing daily in the morning between my kriya yoga and meditation practice. I am doing it for the last 2 days and today was my 3rd day of Shamanic Breathing. It is amazing. The results of my 1st day of shamanic breathing were really deep and profound. I did it for 30 mins and these 30 mins passed as 5 mins. And the end result was amazing and made me cry with bliss and joy. 2nd day was also good but due to a few distractions I couldn't do it for 30 mins and the results were not very deep. Today was my 3rd day of shamanic breathing. I couldn't wake up in the morning at 4 o clock today due to last night late sleeping. So I did my shamanic breathing at noon like around 3 pm. Lobster Claws - Tetany: I did set my alarm for 30 mins and start doing it. But I don't know why almost in 10 mins my hands clenched and the fingers of my hands went into some kind of specific mudra (Lobster Claws - Tetany). And with each minute pressure on my hand was also increasing. In 15 mins pressure in my hands increased as much as it started hurting my hands and I started feeling pain in my hands. It felt like if I do not stop it will lead to something really bad so I stopped my practice in 15 mins. And went into a deep state of consciousness and with time in a few minutes everything got back to a normal state. Can anyone tell me what was that? And why? Why I felt that pain in my hands which made me stop breathing. Yesterday I was thinking that from onwards I will do Shamanic Breathing for more than 30 Mins and today I even couldn't do it for more than 15 mins. I need guidance. So Is it safe to do it on daily basis? Can I do it on daily basis? Why Leo in his video did not recommend to do it on a daily basis? Why today I felt a lot of pressure and pain in my hands which make me stop doing it. Waiting for the help Thanks

I used to listen to hardstyle a lot. I even went to the Netherlands 3 times, just to participate hard dance events. Back then, I wasn't into spirituality and I didn't know anything about self-actualization. I only knew one thing: I loved hardstyle. Those parties and festivales are fond memories. I clearly remember when I was in the crowd and my favorite tracks came on, it was pure bliss. I danced and jumped around like a madman. Nothing mattered, there was no past/future, just the glorious present moment. Almost like a quasi flow oneness state. And the funny thing is that I was completely sober. I may not enjoy hardstyle that much anymore, I kinda feel like I grew out of it. Although that doesn't mean that it's "high-consciousness" or not. Who cares about labels anyway. Actually, I think I'll go to a hardstyle event just for the fun of it when the this whole covid stuff blows over (if ever).

My ex used to go to alot of these festivals. That was her lifestyle in her 20's, traveling the world, tripping hundreds of times on LSD while attending festivals. Here is a research paper I read about Dark Psytrance: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/282185848_Pushing_the_Boundaries_Investigating_the_Musical_and_Social_Aesthetics_of_Dark_Psytrance This article describes in similar words the way my ex described her experiences. Darkpsy was her favorite. She told me that dancing to it felt like a constant orgasm, especially on LSD, where the bass is the thing that causes the physical pleasure. Then, I can imagine, the collective thoughts, while all others are tripping. She described a peak experience she had on a darkpsy festival that caused her to roll in the sand, crying in bliss. Another experience where she took 600ug of LSD without tolerance, just to dance in the front row on a certain festival, where she described the experience as being "SOOOOO DEEP". Hehe, I kind of tried to pick her mind on these stuff, but still to this day, when I am high, I get urges just to listen to some psytrance so that I can uncover the "blissful mystery she described". But sure, if festivals feel like home for you, if you just have successfully opened a yoga studio, if you have not gone to a festival for 6 months, seeing all your friends there and stuff, dancing with them under the sun, high on LSD, maybe you would roll in the screaming with tears of bliss. I don't know dude. And not knowing this is kind of frustrates me. Makes me feel lower than my ex. lol. She told me that she once danced for 24 hours straight on "just one drop of acid". Here is one of her favorite festivals: Some of those people look quite high quality if you ask me. I would definitely cold approach all of the girls on that festival, I promise ... but watching the vid, I want to teleport away from this winter, right around that bonfire where the girls sit Personally, as I sometimes feel jealous and inspired, remembering my ex's stories of her experiences, as I yearn to have a memory of just epic bliss for some reason, I experimented with the darkpsy and psytrance. I have not tripped on a festival though, but I have went to a 3-day festival with 100+ people, and that was quite cool, but no peak experience, just felt as good as a workout with friends. So far for me, I judge the darkpsy lifestyle based on what I perceive from my ex, that it seems destructive. I mean, she danced for 24h straight!?! To Darkpsy?! If you ask me, I'm a classical pianist, I think darkpsy has a lot of room to improve in terms of harmonics. I like to think that the darkpsy is bad for the inner child. But I have not experienced it and have some negative emotions towards my ex so please take this with a grain of salt. I mean, the main issue is that the festival lifestyle doesn't really teach you the Leo things, so, my Ex had some emotional issues. But I am sure that an actualized person would really enjoy a festival with epic darkpsy and stuff, if only it doesn't hinder the self-actualization. To answer your point: For me, festivals seem to be only positive, as a way to invest "travel time" and if it doesn't ruin your self-actualization work. There are peak experiences to be had, comparable to how "there are peak experiences to be had in terms of taking mushrooms". Treat festivals like a giant trip, but don't get lost in the tripping. I think so many get lost in the tripping, so many turn to festivals to fill their holes and find their homes. But if you are self-actualizing, festivals would probably be quite a fun vacation, ideally used as a way to fuel your main lifestyle and purpose. The main thing about festivals is the collective consciousness.

pure bliss

Accept them as they are. No need to change anything. Your ego wants to change them which creates resistance and therefore you suffer.. Try to notice whenever you resist something and understand it’s the illusion misinterpreted reality. Once you will release any resistance Love and Bliss will arise. Hope it helps?