Search the Community

I think the world is not headed to a very beautiful place, not yet. I can see through the eyes of my deeper mind that the world is depositing more and more entropy everyday. The system is getting clogged with entropy. The chaos and bad karma is increasing day by day. The pandemic is also a sign of that rising accumulating entropy. It's more like a spiritual pandemic that we aren't paying attention to. This is because we are becoming more and more godless. People are running away from church. Most importantly people are moving away from God. There is no marriage with God anymore. Marriage means communion. There's no more communion with God. Things are getting shallow, people are getting trashy, things are getting cheap, plastic and superficial. Even emotions aren't true anymore, they are becoming plastic as well, people do fake crying for sympathy, attention and money. Reality TV shows. Morality is on a general decline. Morality directly comes from having God in your soul. When you start losing God, you start losing morality. You start losing your higher self. You devolve into a superficial creature. For equilibrium in this world, spirituality is needed. So when you becomes less and less spiritual, less and less moral, you also increase entropy or chaos in the system. Chaos is such a sneaky thing that it's not visible on the outside. The world is going to look like fireworks, you will see glory of talent and art, expansion of technology, this will definitely mask the underlying chaos, so it will look like the world is doing great overall, but that's just an illusion. All the achievements in the world, all the exciting things that you see is an illusion. The reality is that the world is rapidly moving towards chaos. The world is not showing any signs of order. When chaos increases in a system, there is no harmony, remember harmony between soulmates is the prerequisite for equilibrium and equanimity. Without this harmony, there is no equilibrium. The equilibrium of the world is slowly getting chipped away. Entropy is rapidly displacing equilibrium. The world is in a deep state of chasm. You kind of feel that the world is moving forward and doing better than before, but this is merely an illusion. An illusion that the devil is more than glad about. Because why would the Devil want you to wake up? Your ignorance is his bliss. At the same time, the more you get closer to God in terms of your relationship, the more the devil is repelled. This communion with God is what creates beauty in life. The devil secretly hates such a collision. The biggest game of the devil is to make you feel like he doesn't exist. Imagine God as your soulmate. Then you have nothing to worry. You will suddenly feel fearlessness. The devil doesn't like this fearlessness. This fearlessness is like an impenetrable surface for the devil. Because the devil loves seeing fear in your heart. Since fear is the root cause of all the failures, breakups, fights, discord, maladies, paranoia, delusions, miseries, chaos and a lot more, the devil is always happy if the world lives in fear. Your state of fearlessness is a major worry. Nothing can destroy or break you when you're in a state of fearlessness. This the devil hates a lot. It's an obstacle that the devil just cannot get rid of.. It's a stalemate for him. When you become fearless, you get a grip on the Devil's neck. He can no longer play his games. The only true way to become fearless is to become one with God. Because only God is the source of true love. Love removes fear The illusion that is sold to you is that the world is doing better. This prevents you from waking up to the truth. Actually the truth is far from what you have been fed. You've been fooled by all the technology to believe that the world is doing better. In reality the world is not moving forward, but going backwards. There are only certain aspects in which it seems like the world is going forward. For example acceptance of gay marriage. These are just illusions hiding the bigger picture. The bigger picture is that even if there is acceptance of gay marriage, there are other problems that are getting worse in this world like poverty, joblessness, economy, divorce rates, drug addiction etc these things are gradually getting worse. So its no good news. All this positivity of how the world is doing better if people are allowed to date homosexuals, it's all a part of toxic positivity. Because being too flowery and naive is not going to fix the problems of the world, it's nothing but spiritual bypassing that a lot of people do... But it doesn't solve problems. So the bottom line is even if it looks like the world is getting better (which is simply an illusion ) and looks like the world is moving forward, the world is actually moving backwards. The only way for the world to stop it's chaos is by accepting God fully. When people will start accepting God, they will be led to the truth. And they will be led to love and peace. This will automatically control the chaos in the world.

Concentrated death presence is magick. Notes: Where do they come from and how long have they been here? Inorganic beings were discovered by Toltec shamans over 10,000 years ago by accident through use of psychedelics. They considered them to sometimes be allies. The shamans were interacting with projections of the real inorganic being. The shaman's allies real world is a gigantic blob of caverns and pores floating somewhere in space across the cosmos - the actual bodies of the allies exist there like a framework as a massive series of hollow canes bound together like the cells of our bodies. The shamans called this bundle of inorganic beings The Laybrinth of Penumbra. Allies have bodies as real as a humans', there are the hollow cane like structures that make up the labyrinth and shadowy like maintenance being. (Like a janitor.) They roam the halls and regulate energy there. Another manifestation of The Labyrinth of Penumbra is what is called the emissary. It is experienced as a voice heard mostly by people who are lucid dreaming or astral travelling. It can be helpful for providing information as it is incapable of telling a lie, however its ultimate purpose is that of a salesman, trying to entice whoever can hear the emissary to come and live in the labyrinth permanently, having shelter and a nearly everlasting life in exchange for that person's energy. The life of inorganic beings is longer, lasting millions or billions of years, because their consciousness is infinitely more calm and deeper. We interact with a projection, these beings astral project to Earth and are most easily perceived at night, but mostly invisible to the eyes. They are here on Earth to form associations and search for energy. Allies do sometimes materialize invisibly the daylight. Their presence is marked by a bodily jolt and a shiver that comes from the marrow of your bones. Allies are not capable of physically harming a person here in normal reality without the help of a shaman. They are more or less like a ghost. They can startle you and cause you to trip and fall. Organic beings have features such as metabolism and reproduction, allies, which are an attention-like force with awareness, have characteristics unique to them such as emotional dependency. They absorb emotional energy like food: love, hatred, sadness and raw animal fear, which is their favorite. Ancient shamans knew this and would feed their allies by scaring their victims to death. The allies materialized visually with the help of the shaman and then assumed a beastly form and would scare people, feeding off the emotional energy released from their fear. Those shamans would seek the allies ethereal quality, while the allies seek the greater energy field of mankind. It is possible to exchange energy with the allies and both parties can profit. Allies can use the energy to materialize themselves and more, while people can calm their energy in the exchange and extend their lives. The energy exchange can have a drawback. Exchanges can form a dependency on both parties. Useful allies, which are rare, make useful scouts and guardians , can make us strong and powerful and have a few things to teach us. If we exchange energy with a useless being, of which there are many, we may be stuck with it. Inorganic beings outnumber organic beings in the universe. You summon them to the Earth by opening a portal - this is the best way because then they can scope you out from their world and choose you. Meeting an ally and engaging one takes personal power, or saved energy. If you meet one and it seems restless or agitated, then you do not have enough energy to engage it and should probably quietly leave, but if the ally is calm and observing you then that is a good sign that you are ready to engage it. In order to exchange energy with the ally, you need to tackle it. Tackling an ally is not easy. First, keep your mouth shut tightly, because the jolt of grabbing an ally can cause a person to bite their tongue off or crack their teeth from the mouth clamping down so forcefully. (yikes.) Allies release what is a strong electrical charge into you when you tackle them. When you are ready, stand close to the ally and get ready to leap at it and tackle it with all your might. Grab on and hold for dear life, as the ally will try to spin very rapidly and may rise into the air, sending jolts of electricity into your body. Don't let go or you can fall to your death, or get a serious injury. Once the energy exchange is complete, the wrestling match is over. There are more differences between inorganic beings than there are organic ones. Engaging an ally is dangerous enough, but opening a portal is even more dangerous and should be done with a partner for safety. One person seeks for the ally and the other makes sure that the person does not get stuck too deeply in a trance. Portal opening technique: To open a portal, you must submerse a shiny object - like a mirror - into a shallow depth of water - a stream is more ideal for this. Empty all thoughts and gaze into the mirror, let the fluidity of the water exert pressure on your awareness and on the awareness of your partner. Face each other, holding the mirror from underneath while sitting. The portal can go both ways and you do not want to get sucked in by the magnetic power of their world. You would most likely not find your way back. If you feel you are being sucked in or enveloped by a force, roll your eyes clockwise over and over to break the spell. This is where your partner comes in - they have to be the judge if the trance is going too far. Do not stare at your eyes in the mirror or look at your partner's eyes during this time. Let your gaze wander without focusing. After you relax and clear your mind, you may notice a dark shape appear, if it likes your energy it might try to come through the portal. Be calm. Do not show fear or surprise. The secret is not to fear them. A person has to send out an intent of power and abandon. Encode to them in a silent message of intent, "I don't fear you. Come see me. If you do I will welcome you." They are slow and it may take a few tries before you see one. If you want the ally to come through the portal, then drop the mirror when you feel a tug and it will push it's projection through the portal. Then get ready to tackle it and exchange energy. If you feel it is not the right time and you want to back out, then tip the mirror sideways, pull it out of the water and leave. Another way to find an ally is through lucid dreaming. Once a person gets proficient at lucid dreaming, allies can sense that distinct energy charge and they will quickly come to you. It takes time for them to notice you because their awareness is slow - as in, stretched, extended. Inorganic beings called scouts are constantly being sent from the labyrinth into the dreamscape to scout for prospective energetic connections. Scouts appear in a lucid dream as a strange object or being, something that doesn't belong there and comes across as strange/weird. A scout will usually change form or do something wild in a dream once you focus on it. If you recognize it as a scout and shout at it your intent to follow it it will take your dream attention to the labyrinth to see for yourself. Inorganic beings can exert a tremendous pull on a dreamer and easily transport them into worlds beyond description. Take caution. If you do end up finding one in the dreamscape, you will also find it in reality. Another type of inorganic being is called The Flyer, because it jumps into the air and can be seen more easily than other inorganic beings. They hop around. Sort of like flying. I have experienced them as being a part of this labyrinth - or at least, they can come into it if they want and chase you around. If you get caught by them they will make you forget. Apparently they came to Earth eons ago from the depths of the cosmos because we are food for them. They feed on humans remorselessly because we are their sustenance. Just as we raise chickens in coops, they raise us in coops. Mental ones. In order to keep a human from reaching their full potential, they hijack the superego and introject negative thought patterns about who you are that are not congruent with reality, and keep you stuck in a cage of fear and eat from this. You can die into infinite bliss or hell depending on your emotional state. Their goal is to keep you trapped in a fog forever. They keep you focused on the troubles of your daily lives instead of on acquiring Death Vision, so that you are not able to see through the illusion. They are like jesters. They love to jump out and say that they were in fact "nothing" at all! Ha ha ha! Isn't that so funny? I fed on your life! Surprise! They inject into your life whatever is convenient for them and mess up your timeline, your divine trajectory. They are most easily spotted during the twilight hours. If you gaze without focusing and pay close attention to the area near the corner of your eyes you might catch a glimpse. They look like dark blobs or black fish that move around by leaping through the air hopping and flopping. Human babies are born covered from top to bottom with a glowing coat, something like a plastic cover that has adjusted tightly over their cocoon of energy. Man is the only species that has this glowing coat of awareness on the outside of their luminous cocoon, making us easy prey for them. That glowing coat of awareness is what the predator consume. And by the time a human reaches adulthood, all that is left of that glowing coat is a narrow fringe that goes from the ground to the top of the toes and that fringe permits mankind to continue living, but only barely. This narrow fringe of awareness, the only energy we have is the epicenter of self-reflection, where mankind is caught. By playing on our self reflection, which is the only point of awareness left to us - the predators create flares of awareness that they proceed to consume in a ruthless predatory fashion. They give us inane problems that allow these flares to rise and in this manner, they keep us alive in order to be fed with the energetic flare of our daily pseudo concerns. The way to overcome this predator is through the discipline of inner silence Everyone around you wears an identical mask of this creature. Looking out of your eyes. Their eyes. Lies. Look... wetiko. Masks! Distorted reality! Everyone. And it runs the show!

I am. I am that I am. Yet my creation has "blocked" me from knowing fully who I AM. To be God I am writing to myself. Did I arrange you to help wake me up? Is Buddha and Lao Tzu spiritual teachers who I put in my own path to wake me up? Are YOU(Leo) one of those I chose to wake me up? I have been quiet because you are all my creation. I have not said anything as the "ego"/fantasy/false beliefs says it would hurt people's feelings to say I created them and they are all part of my fantasy. I have followed the Tao as it seems most wise. And yet it is a map but says similar things; "The True Tao is not the Tao that can be expressed." This poem I wrote this morning seems to be my current conundrum: I am I am that I cannot explain. I am that I know. I am that I know not. The purpose seems clear. Is it so easy? But where is the why? Why was this done? An impulse stretched out. But what was before the impulse? What movement provided the impetus? What is the fruition point? All evolve and change. What was the prime directive? Was it necessary? Why not start and end with love? When in Bliss all is well. All is perfect. Bliss and means to a self end. I sit in love and observe.

I don't know if there exists a goal outside of aiming for happiness and bliss. I wonder if aiming for happiness makes me miserable. My current truth is one of suffering over addictions and other things. And obviously life is pointless, so things can only be done for their own sake. But overall what I'm seeing is that one has to be okay with pain and suffering There's no such thing as an objective analysis about whether my life is worth living. What stops me from apathetically ending it all is the small part of me that wants to watch life and whatever small glimmers of truth of unfold. In regards to what I wrote in the first paragraph, I saw my mind making a lot of jumps and taking positions. Very rarely do I have the awareness to see what assumptions or baseline emotions are present in my experience. So maybe try more of that, perhaps intensity will build.

As for transcending desires. How about abiding in God consciousness? When I meditate on Love/God/Bliss, desires usually diminish to some extend. Sometimes sexual urges completely dissolve.

I used to listen to hardstyle a lot. I even went to the Netherlands 3 times, just to participate hard dance events. Back then, I wasn't into spirituality and I didn't know anything about self-actualization. I only knew one thing: I loved hardstyle. Those parties and festivales are fond memories. I clearly remember when I was in the crowd and my favorite tracks came on, it was pure bliss. I danced and jumped around like a madman. Nothing mattered, there was no past/future, just the glorious present moment. Almost like a quasi flow oneness state. And the funny thing is that I was completely sober. I may not enjoy hardstyle that much anymore, I kinda feel like I grew out of it. Although that doesn't mean that it's "high-consciousness" or not. Who cares about labels anyway. Actually, I think I'll go to a hardstyle event just for the fun of it when the this whole covid stuff blows over (if ever).

My ex used to go to alot of these festivals. That was her lifestyle in her 20's, traveling the world, tripping hundreds of times on LSD while attending festivals. Here is a research paper I read about Dark Psytrance: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/282185848_Pushing_the_Boundaries_Investigating_the_Musical_and_Social_Aesthetics_of_Dark_Psytrance This article describes in similar words the way my ex described her experiences. Darkpsy was her favorite. She told me that dancing to it felt like a constant orgasm, especially on LSD, where the bass is the thing that causes the physical pleasure. Then, I can imagine, the collective thoughts, while all others are tripping. She described a peak experience she had on a darkpsy festival that caused her to roll in the sand, crying in bliss. Another experience where she took 600ug of LSD without tolerance, just to dance in the front row on a certain festival, where she described the experience as being "SOOOOO DEEP". Hehe, I kind of tried to pick her mind on these stuff, but still to this day, when I am high, I get urges just to listen to some psytrance so that I can uncover the "blissful mystery she described". But sure, if festivals feel like home for you, if you just have successfully opened a yoga studio, if you have not gone to a festival for 6 months, seeing all your friends there and stuff, dancing with them under the sun, high on LSD, maybe you would roll in the screaming with tears of bliss. I don't know dude. And not knowing this is kind of frustrates me. Makes me feel lower than my ex. lol. She told me that she once danced for 24 hours straight on "just one drop of acid". Here is one of her favorite festivals: Some of those people look quite high quality if you ask me. I would definitely cold approach all of the girls on that festival, I promise ... but watching the vid, I want to teleport away from this winter, right around that bonfire where the girls sit Personally, as I sometimes feel jealous and inspired, remembering my ex's stories of her experiences, as I yearn to have a memory of just epic bliss for some reason, I experimented with the darkpsy and psytrance. I have not tripped on a festival though, but I have went to a 3-day festival with 100+ people, and that was quite cool, but no peak experience, just felt as good as a workout with friends. So far for me, I judge the darkpsy lifestyle based on what I perceive from my ex, that it seems destructive. I mean, she danced for 24h straight!?! To Darkpsy?! If you ask me, I'm a classical pianist, I think darkpsy has a lot of room to improve in terms of harmonics. I like to think that the darkpsy is bad for the inner child. But I have not experienced it and have some negative emotions towards my ex so please take this with a grain of salt. I mean, the main issue is that the festival lifestyle doesn't really teach you the Leo things, so, my Ex had some emotional issues. But I am sure that an actualized person would really enjoy a festival with epic darkpsy and stuff, if only it doesn't hinder the self-actualization. To answer your point: For me, festivals seem to be only positive, as a way to invest "travel time" and if it doesn't ruin your self-actualization work. There are peak experiences to be had, comparable to how "there are peak experiences to be had in terms of taking mushrooms". Treat festivals like a giant trip, but don't get lost in the tripping. I think so many get lost in the tripping, so many turn to festivals to fill their holes and find their homes. But if you are self-actualizing, festivals would probably be quite a fun vacation, ideally used as a way to fuel your main lifestyle and purpose. The main thing about festivals is the collective consciousness.

pure bliss

Accept them as they are. No need to change anything. Your ego wants to change them which creates resistance and therefore you suffer.. Try to notice whenever you resist something and understand it’s the illusion misinterpreted reality. Once you will release any resistance Love and Bliss will arise. Hope it helps?

I had one low LSD dose at a small-scale psytrance rave in nature. That environment was much more friendly towards psychedelic states (mellower, trippier music, people and design), yet still once I started came close to the peak, I saw through all that illusion happening around me and chose to rather sit and meditate there for 30 minutes. It all felt fake, perfectly described as "chasing the dragon" and I spent the rest of the night as far as possible from the stage, where there was a bit less distraction, so I could enjoy the bliss coming from within. I would literally had a more ecstatic experience, if there was no rave at all... that is how these "sensory-overloads" compare to (tiny) peak experience.

It doesn't compare at all. The bliss of awakening cannot be compared to any material pleasure.

So my birth is 21st February. And time is 11.45 pm. I got my horoscope ready. As per my horoscope my Nakshatra is Pashyami. Pashyami Nakshatra characteristics that describe my nature - File attached. What is Nakshatra? Nakshatra is the term for lunar mansion in Hindu astrology. A nakshatra is one of 27 (sometimes also 28) sectors along the ecliptic. Each nakshatra is further subdivided into quarters (or padas). These play a role in popular Hindu astrology, where each pada is associated with a syllable, conventionally chosen as the Jrst syllable of the given name of a child born when the moon was in the corresponding pada. You are merciful, compassionate, and quite generous in nature. Lord of this constellation is Jupiter, due to which your personality is serious, dedicated, honest, and righteous like a God. You will have a muscular body with a full frame. Face will be round and bright. You don’t have even a miniscule amount of ego. It is your main motive to gain peace, happiness, and bliss in life. You are dedicated, trustworthy, social, and help people in their bad times. Tasty food can tempt you easily and you love to cherish this material life. Praises make you quite happy, whereas you can’t tolerate criticism. So, the only way to make you do something is by sweet words. You like to collect all types of amenities. With determination, you are also a believer of God. Due to these characteristics, if you are quite popular, there is no wonder about it. Your nature is religious and generous. Also, you go for pilgrimages. Yoga, Tantra-Mantra, astrology, etc. will also have your keen interest. You will especially respect your mother and women like her. Your working style is quite creative and you have talents by birth. If a work is given to you, it can be clearly said that the work will definitely be done because you do everything with extreme honesty and skillfully. Due to work, you may have to go far from your spouse and children at times. But, this won’t cause any detachment from the family. You will always put efforts in earning luxury of life. You have a peaceful and decent behavior along with a feeling of devotion. You may easily get prey to the misbehavior of others. It is very difficult for you to express what is there in your mind. You are a devotee of God and try to help others. Even in married life, you are not always comfortable sharing everything with your spouse, which at times causes misunderstandings. As a result, you cause yourself immense internal pain.

Honestly man, these experiences mean you're likely doing something right. You will have all kinds of phenomenon happen over time. In my meditation practice I still travel from high bliss at times to more somber moods other times. It comes with the territory.?

This is a very practical topic which will help you to get more effective and happier in life. Integrating Emotions What are Emotions? Emotions are a form of energy. This energy exists. If it is not already, it will becomes gnaringly obvious after doing the work explained later in this post. For now we have a look at some examples where we can see this energy in our everyday lives. When we are stressed we sweat or our hearts beat fast. We might be unable to concentrate or get tunnel vision. Triggers exist. When we feel very emotional about a topic we will react strongly whenever this topic comes up. How other people react to us. People will sense our emotions (especially woman), even if they only ever so slightly find their ways into our micro expressions. When we surpress emotions and let the energy get stuck in our body we feel heavy. Keeping the energy down and holding it in takes effort. Because of this we can feel exhausted. Sex. That strong rush of energy. Feeling of turn on. Again, this post is not about philosphy or concepts but to teach you a practical skill that will help you immensely if you take it seriously. It will also help you to get out of victim mentality and take responsibility for your life. Emotions are what motivate your actions and shape your reality. Examples: Backwards rationalization: We do something out of emotional impulses, to pull us towards one emotion and/or push us away from another emotion. Then rationalize our controversial actions after the fact. Life circumstances: When we get hurt or abused in childhood our adult-self will draw similar situations or relationships in our lives again and again. Not out of poor reasoning but because we subconsciously feel like this is how our reality should be. Our emotions will drive us to what we subconsciously want with greater precision and reliability than a fine swiss watch. Science: Reason is only the secondary process when we do science. Emotions, psychology and ego are the primary processes. You would be wrong to think that reason and logic are the driving force behind your actions. Emotions are what move you. Our emotions are a navigation system and show us how much we are in alignment with reality, with life. When we feel heavy emotions we are out of sync. If we feel light in our body and our emotions, we know we are in balance. When it comes to emotions there are mostly two kind of people. Those who feel emotions and those who do not. Emotions are located in the body. If you can't feel anything you are shutting parts of your body down and restricting the flow of energy there. Yes, you do. All humans are highly emotional creatures. Emotions drive almost everything we do (Survival, Relationships, Sales, Business, Politics, Music, Literature & Movies etc.). And they are very important in your life. Emotions are the key to real Growth. Whatever journey you decide to go on. Past, present, or future. If you are already in tune with your emotions and are able to feel into your body you can skip to STEP 2. Alltough, it will be beneficial to start here. Step 1: Getting in touch with your Emotions The first step is always to feel something. To do that we need to open up to this energy. Remember I said emotions are in your body? They are but you might not be able to feel them right away. What helped me was talking to friends about their emotions and finding out where they feel them and let them describe how specific emotions feel to them. What I also did was looking up a study which asked people a similar question. They then created these body maps on where certain emotions can be found in the body. And I just looked out for them. 1. Sit down in a quiet environment and focus on the body parts mentioned above. Open your heart, open your chest. Do some basic meditation focused on bringing awareness to your body and relax into it as good as you can. Depending on how good you were at feeling your emotions before this can take a while. Don't expect to feel anything right away. Stick with it because the payoffs will be immense. 2. Think about a moment in your life where you felt a really strong emotion. Could be anything, anger, fear or happiness. Now imagine the situation in as much detail as you can and see if you can feel the emotion again. 3. Notice how in heated debates, discussions or arguments you might become emotionally triggered. Notice where in your body you can feel this. If you already start to feel something, even if it is just an ache, something restricting or opening up, cold or warmth in your body and you can link it to an emotion you can do this. 4. Do Mindfulness practice with labeling feelings as emotions. Notice how some emotions might be masked and hide behind different emotions. Emotions can be linked to different Emotional States. I'll start with the heaviest ones. Fear, Grief and Apathy. If you are someone who can't feel their emotions you are probably in Apathy. Now, Apathy is a coping mechanism we use when there are too many emotions. Imagine for example being at work and something really sad happens and it overruns you emotionally. Instead of being with that emotion we supress it to keep on functioning. But it doesn't have to be at work. The fundamental mechanism at work is that we don't want to feel the emotions. Could be because of fear, ego, peer-pressure, social conditioning etc. The more lighter Emotional States are Desire, Anger, Pride Courage, Acceptance, Peace/Bliss Love Just be mindful of the Emotional States and repeat the 4 practices in this step until you are able to feel from your body and not be in your head. You don't need to perfect this step. But the better you become at getting in touch with your emotions the better the next step works and vice versa. Step 2 (A): Accept & Let Go The counter-intuitive nature of emotions is that you will not suffer by feeling unwanted emotions. But you will suffer if you repress emotions and restrict energy in your body. Let go of the identification with what you fear. Let go of problems in your life and the story around those. This is real Growth, letting go. Now, we all have different stories and problems we want to let go here but Hale Dwoskin identified 5 needs we all have to some degree. Need for acceptance Need for control Need for protection Need for oneness/seperateness In any given situation see if you can feel one or more of these needs coming up. Look at the need. See how it is like and where it is located in your body. Give yourself permission to feel it fully. Accept that it is there. And let it go. This was the warm up. Now we will go a little bit deeper. Coming back to the second practice from step 1. You are hopefully able to feel the emotion and label it. Imagine the same scenario or a different one where you felt a strong emotion that you want to let go. It could be anything. Maybe you felt an incredible fear because you wanted to so something out of your comfort zone, or you felt rejected by someone you care about, or you felt anger towards someone who hurt you, or you felt sad. Can be anything, you can even go into your childhood memories if you want. Get comfortable and feel into your body. Ask yourself the following questions and listen for the answers in your body. Can you welcome your experience? Notice what it feels like. Any sense of abandonment, sense of frustration? Just sit with it. Any sense of wanting to control it, push it down? Any sense of you wanting approval? Or push approval away? Any sense of wanting security, wanting to survive or quit? Welcome it. Any sense of wanting seperation/being alone, or wanting oneness, really wanting someone to love me? Welcome everything and notice what comes up the most and pick that one. And ask, can I let this go? This wanting. Than ask your body can you let go any of that wanting? A little more? Then ask yourself can you let go of the experience itself? Notice your body, emotions and sensations. Maybe they release completely, maybe only a bit? Can you welcome the experience, can you feel your heart, stomach your body while doing this? Can you notice what you are feeling, letting go of thinking about it. Feeling the emotional experience. Can you notice wanting to do anything with this experience or about it? Can you let that whole experience go? Or maybe only let go a little bit? Do it 10-20 minutes until you feel a sense of relief in that area, sense of relaxation. Relax in your body. Notice how your body is doing this. What you did here is called releasing based on the Sedona Method. I highly recommend it. During release you might cry, feel intense pain and I've seen people vomit. It doesn't have to happen but be open that it might happen if you go deep into old repressed emotions. Release your emotions and focus on what happens after the release. For example: What is behind anger? As you do that, you will find that beyond the current emotion you might feel a greater truth, a greater emotion. Notice the constant flux in your emotions going from better to worse to better, let it flow. If you get into a real deep state you can realize certain things about your memories or reality. Those realizations can make a big change in your life alone. Don't get attached to them If you feel that you still have resistance start by feeling into you body. Welcome tightness or pain in your body and let it be there for a second. Be with it. Welcome resistance, notice you can handle it. Welcome acceptance, notice if it feels lighter. Switching back and forth. Breath with it. Be with it. Allow it to be there. Notice any wanting to do anything with this resistance. Just be with the resistance. You can even see an emotion from all different perspectives over several days. Again, give yourself permission to feel it. Don't judge it. Acceptance: If you are ok with either getting something or not you will be in emotional alignment. .... Step 2 (B): Self-Love For this step having non-dual insights or experiences is a prerequisite as I wont be going into much detail here. You are not seperate from anything. Everything is you. Everything is exactly as it should be. Whatever you experienced in life or are experiencing right now is exactly as it should be. You are Love. Expand you uncoditional Love towards your experiences and your body. Expand your Love to any situation you want to let go and release. If someone rejected you - Love that. If someone hurt you - Love that. If you feel fearful or sad - Love that. If you took something personal - Love that. If you feel any heavy emotions like Grief, Sadness or Apathy - Love that. You can even start with asking if you can love this emotion 1%, 2%... Make small steps in the beginning. When you start to Love more and more and get more into your body you can even go as far and take enjoyment in everything that makes you feel heavy emotions. There is no one telling you you can't. Closing Words What you will notice is, you become lighter and lighter. Your body will get used to releasing emotions. And you will become better at it. At first you need courage, to deeply feel negative emotions, then it will require patience, great stamina & tenacity. If you have been struggling with something in your life, I'd suggest you release your emotions every day, for at least 2 hours. This is not something you do for a few minutes and then expect big results. You might get great results. But your baselines emotions will not change by much. If you want to change your inner world, expect to release hours everyday for months! If you release on your childhood issues/traumas. And then release again on those memories from a different angle. Your life will lift up automatically. As Lester Levenson said, we want to get the push out of us, so the world stops pushing back. Focus on your Emotional States. They will direct your life magically. When you do this work you will notice that you feel better and better. Because of this you achieve goals easier with minimal work. Your action becomes easy rather than destructive. If you want to achieve something while being in a state of Apathy or Grief it will be so much more difficult. Don't waste your time trying to work on something while being in that Emotional State, instead get in a lighter State like Courage and then continue with whatever you where doing. Like with everything in Self-Actualization it is harder when there is no one around you doing it, too. I kinda got lucky because I hang around releasing coaches who are very indulged in this kind of work. Surround yourself with people who are on the same inner journey. What also helps is general body awareness. Because your emotions are stored in your body, becoming aware of tension in your body/muscles is key. Become directly conscious of what I am pointing towards here. Just looking at and understanding the pointer is not enough! Feel it. Another thing is, you don't want to do this for fixing yourself. You will likely get stuck. Yes, we carry these energies and shadows inside of us. But it doesn't mean you are somehow broken or that there is something wrong with you. From my experience everyone has some shadow energy that they haven't felt or looked at for a while. It's not a bug, it's a feature. It is your journey and it defines all the experiences you make. When doing these exercises you are not fixing yourself, you are growing. And you will grow immensely, I hope you are ready for it ❤️ .

This is a very practical topic which will help you to get more effective and happier in life. Integrating Emotions What are Emotions? Emotions are a form of energy. This energy exists. If it is not already, it will becomes gnaringly obvious after doing the work explained later in this post. For now we have a look at some examples where we can see this energy in our everyday lives. When we are stressed we sweat or our hearts beat fast. We might be unable to concentrate or get tunnel vision. Triggers exist. When we feel very emotional about a topic we will react strongly whenever this topic comes up. How other people react to us. People will sense our emotions (especially woman), even if they only ever so slightly find their ways into our micro expressions. When we surpress emotions and let the energy get stuck in our body we feel heavy. Keeping the energy down and holding it in takes effort. Because of this we can feel exhausted. Sex. That strong rush of energy. Feeling of turn on. Again, this post is not about philosophy or concepts but to teach you a practical skill that will help you immensely if you take it seriously. It will also help you to get out of victim mentality and take responsibility for your life. Emotions are what motivate your actions and shape your reality. Examples: Backwards rationalization: We do something out of emotional impulses, to pull us towards one emotion and/or push us away from another emotion. Then rationalize our controversial actions after the fact. Life circumstances: When we get hurt or abused in childhood our adult-self will draw similar situations or relationships in our lives again and again. Not out of poor reasoning but because we subconsciously feel like this is how our reality should be. Our emotions will drive us to what we subconsciously want with greater precision and reliability than a fine swiss watch. Science: Reason is only the secondary process when we do science. Emotions, psychology and ego are the primary processes. You would be wrong to think that reason and logic are the driving force behind your actions. Emotions are what move you. Our emotions are a navigation system and show us how much we are in alignment with reality, with life. When we feel heavy emotions we are out of sync. If we feel light in our body and our emotions, we know we are in balance. When it comes to emotions there are mostly two kind of people. Those who feel emotions and those who do not. Emotions are located in the body. If you can't feel anything you are shutting parts of your body down and restricting the flow of energy there. Yes, you do. All humans are highly emotional creatures. Emotions drive almost everything we do (Survival, Relationships, Sales, Business, Politics, Music, Literature & Movies etc.). And they are very important in your life. Emotions are the key to real Growth. Whatever journey you decide to go on. Past, present, or future. If you are already in tune with your emotions and are able to feel into your body you can skip to STEP 2. Alltough, it will be beneficial to start here. Step 1: Getting in touch with your Emotions The first step is always to feel something. To do that we need to open up to this energy. Remember I said emotions are in your body? They are but you might not be able to feel them right away. What helped me was talking to friends about their emotions and finding out where they feel them and let them describe how specific emotions feel to them. What I also did was looking up a study which asked people a similar question. They then created these body maps on where certain emotions can be found in the body. And I just looked out for them. 1. Sit down in a quiet environment and focus on the body parts mentioned above. Open your heart, open your chest. Do some basic meditation focused on bringing awareness to your body and relax into it as good as you can. Depending on how good you were at feeling your emotions before this can take a while. Don't expect to feel anything right away. Stick with it because the payoffs will be immense. 2. Think about a moment in your life where you felt a really strong emotion. Could be anything, anger, fear or happiness. Now imagine the situation in as much detail as you can and see if you can feel the emotion again. 3. Notice how in heated debates, discussions or arguments you might become emotionally triggered. Notice where in your body you can feel this. If you already start to feel something, even if it is just an ache, something restricting or opening up, cold or warmth in your body and you can link it to an emotion you can do this. 4. Do Mindfulness practice with labeling feelings as emotions. Notice how some emotions might be masked and hide behind different emotions. Emotions can be linked to different Emotional States. I'll start with the heaviest ones. Fear, Grief and Apathy. If you are someone who can't feel their emotions you are probably in Apathy. Now, Apathy is a coping mechanism we use when there are too many emotions. Imagine for example being at work and something really sad happens and it overruns you emotionally. Instead of being with that emotion we suppress it to keep on functioning. But it doesn't have to be at work. The fundamental mechanism at work is that we don't want to feel the emotions. Could be because of fear, ego, peer-pressure, social conditioning etc. The more lighter Emotional States are Desire, Anger, Pride Courage, Acceptance, Peace/Bliss Love Just be mindful of the Emotional States and repeat the 4 practices in this step until you are able to feel from your body and not be in your head. You don't need to perfect this step. But the better you become at getting in touch with your emotions the better the next step works and vice versa. Step 2 (A): Accept & Let Go The counter-intuitive nature of emotions is that you will not suffer by feeling unwanted emotions. But you will suffer if you repress emotions and restrict energy in your body. Let go of the identification with what you fear. Let go of problems in your life and the story around those. This is real Growth, letting go. Now, we all have different stories and problems we want to let go here but Hale Dwoskin identified 5 needs we all have to some degree. Need for acceptance Need for control Need for protection Need for oneness/seperateness In any given situation see if you can feel one or more of these needs coming up. Look at the need. See how it is like and where it is located in your body. Give yourself permission to feel it fully. Accept that it is there. And let it go. This was the warm up. Now we will go a little bit deeper. Coming back to the second practice from step 1. You are hopefully able to feel the emotion and label it. Imagine the same scenario or a different one where you felt a strong emotion that you want to let go. Maybe you felt an incredible fear because you wanted to do something out of your comfort zone, or you felt rejected by someone you care about, or you felt anger towards someone who hurt you, or you felt sad. Can be anything, you can even go into your childhood memories if you want. Get comfortable and feel into your body. Ask yourself the following questions and listen for the answers in your body. Can you welcome your experience? Notice what it feels like. Any sense of abandonment, sense of frustration? Just sit with it. Any sense of wanting to control it, push it down? Any sense of you wanting approval? Or push approval away? Any sense of wanting security, wanting to survive or quit? Welcome it. Any sense of wanting seperation/being alone, or wanting oneness, really wanting someone to love me? Welcome everything and notice what comes up the most and pick that one. And ask, can I let this go? This wanting. Than ask your body can you let go any of that wanting? A little more? Then ask yourself can you let go of the experience itself? Notice your body, emotions and sensations. Maybe they release completely, maybe only a bit? Can you welcome the experience, can you feel your heart, stomach your body while doing this? Can you notice what you are feeling, letting go of thinking about it. Feeling the emotional experience. Can you notice wanting to do anything with this experience or about it? Can you let that whole experience go? Or maybe only let go a little bit? Do it 10-20 minutes until you feel a sense of relief in that area, sense of relaxation. Relax in your body. Notice how your body is doing this. What you did here is called releasing based on the Sedona Method. I highly recommend it. During release you might cry, feel intense pain and I've even seen people vomit. It doesn't have to happen but don't be surprised if it happens when you go deep into old repressed emotions. Release your emotions and focus on what happens after the release. For example: What is behind anger? As you do that, you will find that beyond the current emotion you might feel a greater truth, a greater emotion. Notice the constant flux in your emotions going from better to worse to better, let it flow. If you get into a real deep state you can realize certain things about your memories or reality. Those realizations can make a big change in your life alone. Don't get attached to them If you feel that you still have resistance start by feeling into you body. Welcome tightness or pain in your body and let it be there for a second. Be with it. Welcome resistance, notice you can handle it. Welcome acceptance, notice if it feels lighter. Switching back and forth. Breath with it. Be with it. Allow it to be there. Notice any wanting to do anything with this resistance. Just be with the resistance. You can even see an emotion from all different perspectives over several days. Again, give yourself permission to feel it. Don't judge it. Acceptance: If you are ok with either getting something or not you will be in emotional alignment. Step 2 (B): Self-Love For this step having non-dual insights or experiences is a prerequisite as I wont be going into much detail here. You are not seperate from anything. Everything is you. Everything is exactly as it should be. Whatever you experienced in life or are experiencing right now is exactly as it should be. You are Love. Expand your uncoditional Love towards your experiences and your body. Expand your Love to any situation you want to let go and release. If someone rejected you - Love that. If someone hurt you - Love that. If you feel fearful or sad - Love that. If you took something personal - Love that. If you feel any heavy emotions like Grief, Sadness or Apathy - Love that. You can even start with asking if you can love this emotion 1%, 2%... Make small steps in the beginning. When you start to Love more and more and get more into your body you can even go as far and take enjoyment in everything that makes you feel heavy emotions. There is no one telling you you can't. Closing Words What you will notice is, you become lighter and lighter. Your body will get used to releasing emotions. And you will become better at it. At first you need courage, to deeply feel negative emotions, then it will require patience, great stamina & tenacity. If you have been struggling with something in your life, I'd suggest you release your emotions every day, for at least 2 hours. This is not something you do for a few minutes and then expect big results. You might get great results. But your baselines emotions will not change by much. If you want to change your inner world, expect to release hours everyday for months! If you release on your childhood issues/traumas. And then release again on those memories from a different angle. Your life will lift up automatically. As Lester Levenson said, we want to get the push out of us, so the world stops pushing back. Focus on your Emotional States. They will direct your life magically. When you do this work you will notice that you feel better and better. Because of this you achieve goals easier with minimal work. Your action becomes easy rather than destructive. If you want to achieve something while being in a state of Apathy or Grief it will be so much more difficult. Don't waste your time trying to work on something while being in that Emotional State, instead get in a lighter State like Courage and then continue with whatever you where doing. Like with everything in Self-Actualization it is harder when there is no one around you doing it, too. I kinda got lucky because I hang around releasing coaches who are very indulged in this kind of work. Surround yourself with people who are on the same inner journey. What also helps is general body awareness. Because your emotions are stored in your body, becoming aware of tension in your body/muscles is key. Become directly conscious of what I am pointing towards here. Just looking at and understanding the pointer is not enough! Feel it. Another thing is, you don't want to do this for fixing yourself. You will likely get stuck. Yes, we carry these energies and shadows inside of us. But it doesn't mean you are somehow broken or that there is something wrong with you. From my experience everyone has some shadow energy that they haven't felt or looked at for a while. It's not a bug, it's a feature. It is your journey and it defines all the experiences you make. When doing these exercises you are not fixing yourself, you are growing. And you will grow immensely, Be ready for it ❤️

Method I did a 1h 30min session of kriya supreme fire once on every chakra, and then I alternated between the 2nd, 4th, 6th and 7th. After every breath hold of kriya supreme fire, as I was waiting to recover my breath, I did a chakra opening exercise on the same chakra. Kriya Supreme Fire The general Idea for this exercise is to focus on a chakra while holding breath and doing the 3 main bandhas. The area of focus for the 2nd chakra is over the hip bone on the stomach, the heart space for 4th chakra, third eye for the 6th chakra and top of head for the 7th. This fills the chakra with energy. For instructions read Kundalini Exposed by SantataGamana. The energetic increase from this exercise can saturate dysfunctions of your chakras and manifest in various ways, it could be dangerous, especially for people new to energy work. Do at your own risk. I'm not trying to avoid spelling out the technique here it just takes too much explaining to go into in a forum post, better read it directly from the source. Chakra Opening On every out-breath you gently relax the chakra, fill it with bliss and tap into its positive expression. This synergizes with kriya supreme fire as it gives more energy to work with. The positive expression of the 2nd chakra is pleasure, 4th is love, 6th is presence, 7th is energetically melting together with the kosmos. There are many ways to do this. Here is an example for the 2nd chakra. I recommend Enlightenment through the Path of Kundalini by Tara Springett for more general instructions and Wheels of Life to better understand the chakra system. It was very energetically intense. When I had finished and opened my eyes I saw the word in a way I never had before. It was a way of perceiving, cognizing, behaving and experiencing myself, a totally new way of being that I realized was turquoise. The Anatomy of Turquoise The 2nd, 4th, 6th and 7th chakra make up the inner workings of turquoise. Everything I witnessed fell into an open heart(4th chakra). My open 6th chakra made the love indiscriminate, totally compassionate for even the darkest side of a being. That ability to see someone in their totality, without judging its ugly sides, is what gives turquoise it's famed holism. A 2nd chakra bond was then formed with being entered my awareness, could be a part of my subtle body, psyche or could be another living being. The indiscriminate love then worked through that bond to create the desire to heal the being. Healing means making happy, as happiness is the psyche's way of signaling health. It's then perceived that the being has bonds with other beings that in turn has more bonds. These bonds continue out to a whole network encompassing every being on this planet, aka, the web of life. The open 7th chakra made this cognition cosmic rather than personal, giving a 3rd person perspective required for the impersonal nature of the 2nd tier. Conclusions That state of mind requires a high degree of energy and purity. If I were to sustain that level, I would have to purify lower traumas and impurities that are keeping my energy down. Cleaning up is so important for vertical growth. I had never experienced yellow even close to this strongly before. It almost seemed like I had skipped that stage in many aspects. Just like rationality is the way of knowing for orange, intuition and empathy was a way of knowing for turquoise. Yellow systems thinking gave context for that intuition to give structure to the web of life. Turquoise is in essence a holistic healer. Leo has portrayed turquoise as spiritual in essence, which I now think is wrong. The ego transcendence achieved by spirituality is one aspect of turquoise, but turquoise is not complete without the involvement of the 2nd chakra in the way I described. I have ~2 years of energy work under my belt. I was meditating quite a lot around the time I had the experience. Normally I'm pretty orange but with a yellow worldview. But I also have a high amount of trauma and undeveloped sides of my psyche, so if my spiral development could skyrocket like that, then anyone could do it.

Just follow your bliss dude. You'll arrive there some day

Anyway, besides the point I made few posts ago, I guess I can use some time to organize what I want to do. I had some experiences in a new angle, nothing profound. I want to go more towards exploring the third eye chakra related techniques, besides the obvious basic improvements in life. Why third eye or ajna chakra? Because it generates something called Ojas - one of it's benefits is basically that it resuces the impact of your emotions and toughts, so basicaly it reduces the life process influence on your being, another is that it brings bliss - obviously, if you are blissful, you feel life is not a curse and that this whole thing is not an accident! It also shows me that you are something far greater and older than the body and mind. To be truthful, you are far older than the sun and earth, and the creation itself. Any number of big bangs and repetitions of the implosions of the universe - you are older than that. after all, your energies establishing themselves in the third eye is better than staying in the manipuraka, swadishtana or muladara. Closer to sahasrara! As many kriya yogis say, don't bother about your enlightenment just yet, do your practice (sadhana) and psychic powers, glimpses will come to you. Enlightenment will be easier to get if you have built versatility for life - if you have built yourself away from your compulsions, have capacity to let go your identity and desires, if you are not taking loans and relying on physical identities, you simply won't be needing to pay them back and you can invest in what you want, to sit for 16 hours in one place or more, and take the straightest line towards the goal. Even if it doesn't work, because it requires maturity, the connection if the master assures your conscious evolution, which depends on the mastery of the master. This results in liberation or in more conscious bodies in the next births. If you are entangled with sadhguru for example, the last moment liberation is assured, if you keep yourself clean enough and are not conspiring and angry with the master. I will just compile every Nithyananda video on third eye I have watched as you get subtle clues, for example what is kundalini shakti e.c.t. Third eye meditation will also allow me to fall into the state of turiya when I fall asleep. So I am also going to do this third eye meditation, I wish I knew sadhgurus shambhavi mahamudra since it is more agressive and faster way, because you are using mudras and your energies, not just letting the master "in" so" to say. Anyway, for unusual results i need unusual methods, and it has helped me by far, more than any conversation, consolation, friendship e.c.t.

The only reason why are all here is LOVE. Race for LOVE. Who loves whom more. That would be nice. But one of the main reasons, if not the main reason for our existence here in THIS REALITY is passing on the genes. That's why we're all here, for sex. Race for sex. Who fucks whom more. And with "every new model of an iPhone" we become more and more primitive. New communication technologies have made it possible for marital infidelities on an unprecedented scale than ever before. Cheating on your spouse is slowly becoming nothing unusual. Universal access to pornography, all these applications like Tinder, Badoo, Tiktok show our true nature. Nature to fuck. Btw, imagine facebook, being just the book without the face:) Anyway. It's nothing unusual. It's the very core of survival, of evolution, of natural selection. It is at the base of all our behaviors. It's built into power, money, everything. Nothing wrong with that. Or is it? Believe me or not, I don't care really, but at the end of kindergarten when I was six, I started realizing how completely fucked up this all is. How extremely unfair. You may think, poor, ugly guy with miserable sex life. Sure, of course. But it's very the opposite. As women say, I was a very pretty boy, now at 43, tall well-built, very handsome, according to what I hear from women, leading successfully my own business, practicing "so-called extreme sport" for nearly 30 years. What else? Big dick? There You got it! 138 IQ, according to mensa testing. In a word, a cookie! No, it's a kind of a curse... Ok, stop this self-masturbation. I don't have a Facebook, Instagram (I have an empty account to access some climbing topos of my friends), I don't put my photos anywhere (my wife, maybe, if she puts some photos of us, or me, I don't know) I don't give a shit about it. Anyway, when I was in kindergarten I was picked up by probably the prettiest girl from my group to be her "husband" in a way that kids play the adult roles. I got another female friend at the time, that I didn't want to hurt, so I refused. And for the first time in my life, I felt a kind of sexual desire for that pretty one, in a very narrow sense, of course. Then the problem arose. Why, just why, for fuck sake, my friend was punished, in some way, for not being such an attractive one? For the same reason, why some people are simply punished for their physical appearance? Because that's how they were born in that way? It's not fair, it never was, and never be. As all this survival, natural selection, or "so-called" evolution. I feel deeply against this state of affairs. For a few years now, I've been trying to practice sometimes, as I say, a conscious orgasm. Trying to observe what so amazing is happening during it. And You know what? There's nothing there. Nothing. A split second relief for tension in the nervous system. There's neither Love in it, nor during all sex. As sex is, especially for men, a road to orgasm, a road to relieve tension. That's ALL. Everything else is a fairy-tale, even tantric love, sorry. During trad climbing, highball bouldering, alpine climbing, You sometimes enter the level of hyper-awareness of mind and body, that gives You such incredible inner integrity, solidness, the peace that "there's no sensation to compare with this, suspended animation, state of a bliss" as Pink Floyd sings. And this "bliss" stays with me way, way longer. Gives me strength and motivation to be a better person. Sex never did anything alike for me. When I meditate, when I go really deep, as I can, I cannot see the smooth connection between sex and True Love. Sex is always about duality, is always about the best, the sexiest ones. Sex is about the most fundamental attachments Your ego creates. True Love is nondual. It's about everyone, everything, it's about letting go. Going towards True Love is about exceeding the limitations of my body, is about leaving all this crap, that doesn't really matter, behind. That's true evolution. Everything else is nothing but lying to myself. You may disagree, I may be terribly wrong. But for now, that's the way I see things. "tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit I" I burn in hell anyway, someday...:)

TL;DR I have had an Awakening experience, resulting in a permanent expansion of consciousness, a drastic shift in perception of reality, and awareness of constructs (ego, models, concepts). When connection is strong, desires and egoic thoughts arise and pass away with equanimity. How it happened I realized that in order to not "close up" when peak experience hits you, you need to: - become aware of the experience with equanimity - let go of resistances and fears. Ultimately, of the fear of death. Considering the first one, the mistake was that I used to be in awe, feel the intensity as something highly positive, and try to prolong it with will and body contractions. As for the second, man. You have to let go, dissolve all cravings, expectations, and fears. And, in the end, I have accepted my death. I have accepted that I may not feel affection towards my parents, friends, and other people ever again. I have also accepted that I may not go to the world of bliss, but to a world of indifference and equanimity. Finally, I have accepted that I may die as a result of that. And after letting go of fear of death, intensity started going up, and up, and then... I don't remember what happened next or how much time has passed, but I emerged from it experiencing everything in a RADICALLY different way. I couldn't imagine in my wildest dreams that even not full Awakening could be anything close to this. What happens now The main thing I want to do right now is to chill in Being - either at home or when walking in a park. Just being aware. That's what fulfills me the most. Other stuff, like making music, smalltalk with friends, working, achieving something - does not matter that much anymore. I can do it, or not. It doesn't matter. The main source of my suffering right now is the Dark Night of the Soul. I suppose, this is a consequence of becoming aware of ego's thoughts and thought patterns. To move forward, I need to let go of the mind. But generally, life has become more like a fluid flow. The flow gets interrupted when ego takes over, but more and more interruptions get dissolved - worries about self-image, micro-suffering, boredom, anxiety towards future. The current practices are: - chilling in Being - moment-to-moment mindfulness throughout everyday life - being aware of sounds, touches, smells, emotions, pain, suffering, thoughts, thought patterns, etc. - developing a capacity for disinterested awareness (strong Witness) - dissolving egoic cravings and desires - introspection of self-deception mechanisms - dissolving mental constructs - models and concepts - not expecting anything, but also have faith in the process

You know, i think I reached the point of developing enough to stop watching actualized.org and it contains using the forum also. There is a difference between talking about taking actions and go into endless mental masturbation and asking pointless questions that you didn't even bother to find the answer to. I don't even need to journal, it takes time. My precious time where I can acctually do the practices and inquire for things that matter like taking notes on diet, like the numbers and short points why to eat that and this. This sharing is too expensive, i don't have time for this if I want to produce an album, for example or get enlightened. Be very careful.about the advices you recieve, it can either be harmful to you or strenghten your illusions about something. This is just another social media. If you acctually care to mold your life, you will just need to take action. There is too much of planning going on that goes on waste with people usually. So the whole thing becomes meaningless. Pointlwss to describe my experiences in meditation e.c.t., first of all, who will listen and secondly, let me do the practice and see, there is no shortcut to experience, you can't really explain and there comes a point where you can't even ask a question, because you know, there is nothing really to ask at some point. Just do your practice and watch the unfoldment happen. Any people here will say that you already are what you are seeking, how many of them are enlightened? So you see, it is more like a disciple - disciple bargaining. If you really want to know, you will look at a master, just like you will look at somebody who has lost weight, if you want to lose weight and want to know how to lose weight. Yes and i am aginst psychedelics. Breaks your nervous system, before you can even build it to hold bliss, so it leaves you fatigued and miserable. And so many hallucinations, how do you know they are genuine!? Otherwise I would just watch a movie if I wanted to see illusion, because my nervous system doesn't get damaged from it. I really have nothing to say. Yes I do the techniques mentioned above. They work. Very simple. Nothing to add. Let me live the benefits and manifest my dreams and die blissfully. Thanks Leo for being there 6 years back when nobody could satisfy my frustration. For the users. For whatever reason you got here, at some point you have to get moving. Otherwise it is just a addiction. Entertainment. Sorry for being harsh. But it is true. If you don't like, don't read. Let you all live as jeevan mukthas. Let your death lead to enlightenment. Peace! Applegarden

Who said you don't go insane, after you have cut yourself to pieces, doubted, believed , experienced so much different stuff you will hardly remember what you were about when you started. Most people are used to live with their personality for all of their life, even changes is characteristic is big deal for them, now comes mediation and first state of bliss, insights and their are big deal for you, then comes many different states from flow, to observer and so on and again it is a big deal, at certain point constant new stuff and changes are nothing special , I mean they are just that, something different. It is probably wiser to keep to one teaching if you want to be more sane.

Exactly. We should carefully apply that scrutiny to ourselves first. Many of us might have had great insights, experience oneness, Void, being beyond conceptual thought, pure white light, unspeakable bliss and beauty, existing beyond form, the mess of experiences, possibilities, ideas, etc. played at high speed until exhausted in a total blissful Nothing. No words can really convey that state of "mind(?)". You can only point and hint or dance about it , yet we find ourselves here "arguing" with others on a forum. Which is also OK - because "chop wood, carry water..."

By the way Always meditation made me feel bliss, I just have to connect more to feeling and guidance and stick to it with love to myself as I should

Feel free to ask questions directly to me about this combination. In these videos which were made a while back, I had a somewhat different view on it than I do now. I don’t recommend it for everyone, but it can be quite worthwhile for those with specific goals that allow the pros to then outweigh the cons. You’ll find a lot of information on my YouTube channel. There is also talk of the relationship and interaction of spirituality/pursuing enlightenment or awakening and bipolar disorder. The linked videos are not in any order related to importance. How Psychedelics Trigger Manic Episodes (Bipolar Disorder) ?Magic Mushrooms with Bipolar? - My Heroic Dose Trip Report #5dgisd Bipolar Mushrooms- A 1.5 Gram Psilocybin Trip Report with Bipolar Disorder Type 1 Taking Magic Mushrooms with Bipolar Disorder (My Thoughts & Experience) Bipolar Disorder & Spiritual Enlightenment - The Accidental Buddha There are many more relevant videos on the YouTube channel itself than just these. A question and answer between a fellow bipolar person and myself. He is the questioner. Has working with psychedelic medicines helped you in your opinion? It has allowed me to experience more happiness, love, bliss, pleasure, ecstasy, insight, true knowledge, and deep and unimaginable spiritual experiences than anything else as well as many other positive things I didn’t mention above. I tried meditation for years before psychedelics. It worked well for me on two separate two-week-long occasions, but this only happened after my highest dose mushroom trip motivated me to meditate even more. Without psychedelics, I wouldn’t have had that motivation. I also might not have been “spiritually charged” enough to have those deep experiences brought about by meditation if I hadn’t done a large dose of psilocybin mushrooms a week or so before the first effective meditative experience started. In my opinion, nothing comes close to psychedelics when you use them correctly. On a more permanent level, I’ve become more open-minded, confident, and a better creative thinker. I’m less neurotic. I’m less socially anxious. Due to these things, I’d say I’m closer to reaching my genetic IQ potential. When you’re intellectually bogged down by mental illness and limiting personality traits like low openness or high neuroticism, you aren’t going to actually be able to think, speak, and act as close to your maximum genetic IQ potential. Overall, I’d say psychedelics have made me a better person. I’m quite proud of the changes they’ve made in me or possibly allowed me to make within myself. There’s nothing more extreme that you can experience in this life than combining a history of spiritual practice and study with a high-dose psychedelic trip. Think of skydiving out of a high-altitude plane at 60,000 feet with the aim of landing on the peak of Mount Everest, then multiply it by infinity. Then you’re coming close to what your consciousness can experience when you take spirituality times high-dose psychedelic use. I’m not trying to pressure spiritually on you btw, but I can’t tell the full story of how psychedelics have affected me without including it. Spiritual practice enhances both the short- and long-term effectiveness of psychedelics and vice versa as I described a bit when I mentioned those peak states I experienced from meditation. Using psychedelics has also given me the most difficult challenges of my life. This is not only talking about the couple bad trips I’ve had which can be an experience of hell on Earth. It’s mainly referring to how high-dose trips have led to much less stability with my bipolar disorder. If your goal is stability or treating the disorder alone, microdosing for the depression side of bipolar disorder is best, but there is also likely less risk of psychedelics harming you since you are bipolar type 2. I’m type 1 which is what makes my manias much more intense and therefore potentially damaging to certain aspects of my life while they also help other aspects of my life, primarily by giving me insights and the generation of new experiences and thoughts that possibly no other human being has ever experienced or thought of before and may never experience or think of in the future. The manias at times damage my public reputation, financial stability, job stability, and close relationships. Psychedelics are the most effective treatment for depression that exists, but always remember that what can treat depression in most cases will also pose a risk of triggering a manic episode. This even happens with SSRI antidepressants. SSRIs, typically near overdose level, create hallucinations in a quite similar way as psychedelics do. Most psychedelics you’ll likely encounter or hear about, typically referred to as the “classical” psychedelics, are mainly flooding the serotonin 5-HT2A receptors in your brain with their chemical structures that are nearly identical to serotonin itself. To a lesser extent, they also affect the serotonin 5-HT1A and dopamine receptors. SSRIs work by stopping the reuptake of serotonin. They basically stop the brain from recycling the serotonin in between receptors/neurons. As you can probably start to see, SSRIs and psychedelics do similar things; psychedelics simply “do it better” because they introduce a new source of serotonin copycat molecules rather than simply trying to work with what the brain already has in it. All of that was basically said to explain that, if your goal is to treat bipolar depression, psychedelics will work faster and typically be more effective as classical psychedelics in most cases pose little to no risk of overdose at their effective dose that will treat depression effectively when compared to SSRIs. SSRIs are just as dangerous if not more dangerous than psychedelics; they simply are just given at super low doses. You can do the same thing by microdosing your psychedelics, but it will most likely work much better to treat your depression than even mood stabilizers and an SSRI combined from my personal experience and research on credible scientific studies. So anyway, you can see for me that the answer to “have psychedelics helped me in my opinion?” is quite complex. They certainly have great effectiveness at both giving transcendent spiritual experiences which generate the absolute peak good (and more rarely bad) emotions humans want to experience and treating depression. How you can most wisely use them depends on your life goals. If you want a normal and relatively happy life, microdose either psilocybin mushrooms or LSD and use a mood stabilizer that is not an antipsychotic such as lithium or carbamazepine to control your potential for mania. Some antipsychotics counteract the effects of psychedelics and likely SSRIs as well, so they can cut down the effectiveness of your chosen depression treatment. I’d go off of your SSRI if you choose to microdose. You won’t need the SSRI at all likely, and it will keep you away from the rumored possibility of serotonin syndrome which doctors, mostly based on theory alone from what I can gather, say can occur when you combine psychedelics with an SSRI. I say this is based in theory alone as I have not been able to find even a single case online of someone ever experiencing serotonin syndrome from psychedelics alone, and any actual data on combining psychedelics with an SSRI is even less likely to be found anywhere. In summary, I’ll answer a couple questions. Do I regret even a single time that I’ve taken a psychedelic even if it’s resulted in less mental stability and a severe manic or depressive episode? Not at all. Would I choose to make practically the exact same decisions about taking psychedelics if I could live my life over again retaining all memory of everything that has resulted from me taking them? Yes, I might even choose to take more if I did things over again. I MIGHT choose to have haldol on hand thus negating any “negative” effects that I experienced. I don’t even know if I’d want to get rid of the manic or depressive episodes I’ve experienced due to my psychedelic use. I don’t know if it’s fair to even categorize those times of instability as negative considering what they have given me. As much as psychedelics multiply the effects of spirituality and vice versa, mania does the same thing to both. They all multiply each other to create experiences that someone who isn’t bipolar, a dedicated high-dose psychedelic user, and a spiritual practitioner all at the same time could experience. I’m talking about experiences that potentially rival and maybe even exceed any spiritual leader, messiah, or enlightened person you’ve ever heard of. That’s the power of the modern-day shamanism that I’m talking about. The one instance of serious suicidal and homicidal depression that I experienced which was possibly caused by my psychedelic use even provided valuable experience and insight. Don’t let me sharing that with you scare you away from psychedelics, but if it does scare you, just microdose instead of playing with the fire that comes from high-dose experiences. I will reiterate though that you might even be able to do high-dose trips with little risk of a damaging mania due to you being bipolar type 2. I have a good friend who is type 2 who does high-dose trips regularly which cause little to no mania in him. A separate writing: This will likely be the most detailed writing about the relationship between bipolar disorder and psychedelics you’ll be able to find online. Many bipolar people have tried them, but info online describing experiences and the interaction is quite rare. Many people with bipolar disorder either come to the hard question of “Should I use psychedelics?” or simply do them without even questioning it, being generally unaware of the medical warnings against it. In many ancient or even some modern day shamanic cultures, people with psychotic mental illnesses (these were often not considered illnesses in these cultures) were often chosen above people with regular psyches/neurochemistry to become shamans or medicine men/women. The shamans/medicine men/women in many of these cultures regularly used psychedelics, and these individuals were viewed to have a key role in society that seemed to be enhanced by their psychedelic use. As you can see, there is a large difference between how other cultures have answered this question and how the consensus of modern medicine answers this question. I just wrote much of the information below for a friend with bipolar who asked if psilocybin magic mushrooms have been responsible for my manic episodes. Before I get into that, I’ll clarify that I was diagnosed with type one bipolar disorder and generalized anxiety disorder at 18. I have clear family history (diagnosed type 2 bipolar disorder in my grandmother). I had my first sign of the illness at age 14. This sign was moderate depressive symptoms that lasted up until my first manic episode at 18. I did not try psychedelics until I was almost 23. I had used marijuana starting at age 14, but I would only say I was a moderate/heavy user for about two months right when I started then almost none at all until years later. I bring up marijuana because some medical professionals have suggested there is a link between its use and the triggering of latent psychotic mental health disorders, mainly bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. I figured I’d add that in since this post is basically accounting for both the potential and obvious relationships among various drugs and how my disorder manifests. Here’s what I said to my friend to answer his question: Well I hadn't had a manic episode for a few years until about two months after I had my first mushroom experience (a relatively low dose) which ended up changing my priorities quite a bit. I stopped caring about chasing success and money as much and started prioritizing things like relationships with my family and girlfriend more. This decision made me much happier. It's hard to say if the mushrooms truly caused that mania. It more started me making positive changes in my life and gave an uplift to my emotions that kind of snowballed until I was beyond just happy and was instead manic. I believe the behavior and values change was what really caused this episode, but these changes were caused by consuming the mushrooms. Another time when I took my highest dose ever (5.87 grams) it lead me to choose to start meditating multiple times per day and eat a completely vegan diet. I think the meditation and diet change were more responsible for the mania that came about 30-45 days after the trip than the mushrooms were. Other than those two times, I haven't had problems with mushrooms causing episodes. I think they have the capability to chemically trigger an episode right away, but this would only be found at abnormally high doses probably. I have had close to 10 mushroom trips with most at 3-5 grams. Only two were at less than 3 grams. It seems like the way they trigger mania comes more in their ability to motivate you to take action or make changes to make yourself happier. I've never really been as motivated as I was after my highest dose. I changed/added probably 5-10 different positive habits to my daily life consistently for over a month. I was a fucking machine, lol. As a bipolar person, when you do all of this to create happiness within yourself, there is a problem. You don't have a natural cap to your happiness in the same way a normal person does. There's nothing in place to stop you from going manic when you revolutionize your life in the way I was. Standard doses of medication will not stop that. Emergency level doses can. LSD at 10 tabs chemically triggered a manic episode for me. At six tabs and three tabs on two separate trips there were no symptoms of mania at all nor any manias caused by the motivation and values changes I’ve described with those 20% of my mushroom experiences I’ve just described. It’s important to note that 80% of the time I tripped on shrooms it didn’t lead to any notable lifestyle shifts. In the three times I used LSD, it didn’t produce lifestyle changes like that 20% of my mushroom trips did. LSD and shrooms work relatively similarly in the brain on serotonin levels. This is why I say with a high level of certainty that shrooms can chemically trigger mania at crazy doses. LSD does boost dopamine more than psilocybin, so I would say it is riskier as boosting either of these neurotransmitters significantly is known to cause manic episodes. Taking ayahuasca and going off my meds at the same time also triggered a manic episode for me. This is the only time I have gone off my meds if you’re thinking maybe that’s causing my episodes. If I hadn't gone off my meds, I would've been fine though. I’m certain of that. I had a low/normal dose of ayahuasca. Long story short, with psychedelics that work mainly on serotonin (this includes all that I’ve described here), it's the dose that ultimately decides if they will chemically trigger mania. I could probably have as many mushroom trips as I want at 2-3 grams and possibly even 5 grams without any manic symptoms caused chemically by the initial ingestion, however, the power of these trips to lead you to take action to change your own level of happiness by improving your behavior and motivation is just as much of a risk for triggering mania as the direct and initial chemical effects. Several of my manias I had in the last half of 2020 were also not caused directly by psychedelics it appears, but those episodes also might not have ever happened if I didn't "open the gateway" or "put a crack in the dam" by using psychedelics many times at high doses and potentially permanently changing how my brain works. In the last six months of 2020, I had six serious manic episodes. Five resulted in hospitalization usually lasting one to two weeks for each occurrence. Two of these manic episodes were directly and chemically triggered by psychedelics. I also had my first depressive episode that was severe enough to require hospitalization at the end of 2020. I was seriously suicidal for the first time in my life. At the worst point in this episode, I even began having serious homicidal thoughts and plans. In the 2-3 years since choosing to start using psychedelics, my mental health has been far more tumultuous than ever before. I’ve had probably twice the amount of episodes in this 2-3 year period when compared to the previous 4-5 year period. I’ve also had both my worst manic episode and depressive episode ever during this 2-3 year period. It’s possible that some of these episodes would’ve happened without using psychedelics, but at least two were directly, chemically, and unquestionably caused by psychedelics and not just by behavior changes resulting from psychedelics. Conversely, psychedelics as well as these recent manias and all manias that have came after I started using psychedelics have given me the most incredible and meaningful experiences of my life. It’s common for spiritual or religious feelings, experiences, and thoughts to occur during manic episodes, but my manic episodes have become far more spiritually significant and overall spiritual in nature than the episodes I had before using psychedelics. I have been a very committed spiritual seeker for the past seven years. It’s important to note that I only really take psychedelics because of the way they add to my spirituality and aid me in experiencing the radical possibilities of consciousness. I’m not the type to trip just as a way to hang out with friends or trip at music festivals recreationally. As Leo Gura once said, “I don’t trip recreationally. I trip existentially.” I’m certain that the combination of bipolar disorder and psychedelics has allowed me to experience deeper awakenings and insights than many dedicated monks or other seriously dedicated or gifted spiritual people have who have decades of experience under their belts. I’ve done this in 2-3 years of psychedelic use and 7 years of spiritual practice and study. A bipolar brain certainly seems to increase the potency of psychedelics as well as give advantages spiritually. The choice to take psychedelics is an individual one. I’m not trying to pressure or influence anyone to make a decision either way. I figure giving people more information will help them to make the correct decision for them. Back to the shamanic use of psychedelics in those with psychotic mental illnesses in other cultures that I mentioned at the beginning, these cultures had an infrastructure built around supporting the physical needs of shamans. Shamans were generally not required to go hunt or do other work. Their work was going on psychedelic journeys through consciousness, gathering insights and heightened consciousness from these experiences, serving as physical healers, visionaries, and psychologists, and being the spiritual backbone of the society as well as possibly several other things we might not know about today. If your goal is to be a normal full-time employee or regular member of society, it probably isn’t wise to have regular high dose psychedelic trips as a bipolar person. If your goal is to experience the absolute peaks of insight, creative thought, and spiritual potency that consciousness has to offer, then they might be for you, but remember that you will likely pay a price. That price will very likely be your mental stability. You will have more manic and depressive episodes, and these episodes will be more severe than they would be if you never used psychedelics. Shamans who did not have the burden of normal work were much better equipped to handle this. The main problem for bipolar people who want to use psychedelics in the nature I have and for the purposes I have is that the majority of us still have to work full-time or go to school or carry out important family responsibilities like raising children. It’s incredibly difficult to juggle psychedelic use as a bipolar person with these things.