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Note: I originally posted this on Curt Jaimungal’s r/TheoriesOfEverything subreddit, but since it has relevance to this sub as well, I’ll cross-post it here too. In a recent “Theories of Everything” youtube episode, that dealth with the subject of UFOs and UAPs (might have been the one with Luis Elizondo), Curt Jaimungal expressed his frustration in trying to imagine what a higher-dimensional being might even be like. This prompted me to give my own perspective. I am assuming that Curt has ancestors from the Indian Subcontinent and is therefore familiar with the beings known as the Devas. Deva means shining one and is used to denote the deities and gods of the major indigenous religions of India, such as Hinduism, Buddhism and Jainism. We usually translate Devas as Gods, but that is somewhat misleading as Devas were not originally believed to have the attributes of what we in the West conceive of as a being that is omnipotent and omniscient, or even immortal, for that matter. Devas are extremely long-lived, sometimes with life-spans nearly as long as the universe itself. They are believed to be beings of light and are mostly distinguished by their awesome effulgence and radiance. Although some are believed to reside on other planets, their place of abode is usually signified as existing on a higher plane of existence. These higher planes of existence, I believe, are substantially, realms that exist in more dimensions than ours does. Michio Kaku actually writes about this in his books, as an interesting side-note on String Theory. He posits, theoretically, what the characteristics of a higher-dimensional being might be. These include abilities such as time travel, seeing past, present and future, the ability to enter lower-dimensional (that is our) reality at will and exit it at any given point, both in time and space, the ability to pass through solid objects without resistance, etc… Notice, how his descriptions overlap substantially with the abilities ascribed to both supernatural beings and UFOs. I believe this is where the two phenomena do meet and an intersection between the two becomes too obvious to ignore. During my own spiritual practice, I have encountered such beings, who, to my satisfaction, were entirely real, though I realise of course that such personal accounts would not cut it in the field of empirical science. Still, if you will indulge me for a minute and put your scepticism aside, I believe some of my experiences with higher-dimensional beings may be instructive in understanding the nature of reality, the existence of high-strangeness events surrounding UFOs and many other mysteries that we are constantly baffled by. My own very first encounter was with a Goddess of the Sumerian pantheon, known as Inana, who later morphed into many different deities in different cultures as her cult spread east and west, becoming, among others, Durga, Astarte and Aphrodite. I encountered her as I was undergoing a spiritual process known as Kundalini Awakening (the famous Quantum Physicist Carl Friedrich Von Weizsacker, wrote about this in his foreword to Gopi Krishna’s very first book, where he analysed the Kundalini mechanism’s philosophical and scientific significance), which was causing a great deal of difficulty in my life. I connected to this ancient deity through artefacts connected to her worship exhibited at the British Museum in London. I won’t go into the details of our encounter here, except to note that it was very similar to what others, who have also gone through a similar spiritual experience have reported over the millennia, usually in connection with tantric deities, belonging to the Hindu and Buddhist pantheons. The interesting point here is what kind of insights my encounters can give us into the nature of higher-dimensional existence. I would draw your attention to the Buddhist classification of planes of existence, or lokas, as they are called in Sanskrit, a good summary can be found here: The Thirty-one Planes of Existence (accesstoinsight.org) Subsequent to my visitation by Inana, I was given a brief insight into two of the highest planes on the list: (29) Infinite Consciousness (viññanañcayatanupaga deva) (28) Infinite Space (akasanañcayatanupaga deva) Where, it is said, that: “ The inhabitants of these realms are possessed entirely of mind. Having no physical body, they are unable to hear Dhamma teachings.” My experience on the plane of infinite consciousness, was that of unending bliss and joy, omniscience, boundlessness and a complete lack of dimensionality. This part is very hard to explain, but I experienced a complete lack of dimensions, as well as an infinite number of dimensions at the same time. There was no space and time and yet, they were also infinite. Perhaps I experienced the two highest planes in this fashion, which is hard to establish without other first-hand accounts to compare my experience to, but the progressions described in Buddhist teachings is how I experienced them. The two highest planes are described as thus: (31) Neither-perception-nor-non-perception (nevasaññanasaññayatanupaga deva) (30) Nothingness (akiñcaññayatanupaga deva) The other experience I had was that of universality, it felt like I was the whole universe in myself and there was nothing beyond me. This also gave me the experience of omniscience, in that when I was in this universal state, however briefly (significantly less than an hour), I understood everything. All the questions I ever had about the universe, existence, the meaning of life, etc… were instantly answered and all the knowledge of the universe was available to me in a manner that would be utterly impossible to experience with the limitations of a physical body. Another noteworthy feature of this expansive experience was that of light. It was everywhere, overwhelming, indescribably joyous and blissful, all-pervading, intelligent and contained incredible amounts of knowledge and wisdom. I myself became that light for a brief period. When I expanded into this infinite state, my body and with it, the physical world was left entirely behind. Subsequently, I found that some NDE experiencers describe a similar experience after they die briefly and then return. When I returned to my body, I found it to be small and constricted and I could only recall a very small fraction of the knowledge I possessed in my universal state. The details above are all important, because they serve as a framework, to go down on the list of Worlds, which according to Buddhist teaching are grouped into four categories. I discussed some of the characteristics of the Immaterial World (arupa-loka) above, which contains four planes of existence. The second category is the Fine Material World (rupa-loka), which has 16 planes of existence. This is the world where higher-order Devas reside, such as the one that has visited me. They are characterised using various epithets, with radiance, effulgence, glory and beauty being their primary characteristics. From my own personal experience, the Devas of this realm have incredible splendour and radiance. Their bodies are made of an unknown state of matter, which I and other observers have described as liquid light. They can manifest denser, humanoid bodies, but in their primary state, they are light beings. The light they are made of does not consist of the usual photons observable to us in our physical realm, including with scientific instruments. The light they are made of is coherent, like that of a laser beam, but also coagulant, in that their bodies settle into a rough shape, that is very difficult to discern because of the incredible radiance of their bodies. The radiation coming off them, isn’t just bright, but also hot. When they are very close to you it feels like another sun radiating right next to you. They do have the ability to touch, which, startlingly, feels very much like a human touch and one can easily discern, the gender, general disposition and intentions of the higher-dimensional light being that thus approaches. When a Deva enters our reality, we perceive it as them coming from above, but this is in the sense of them descending into a lower realm from their higher plane of existence. Still, the distinct perception of descent and then ascent when they leave is unmistakable. There is also a sound, which I can only describe as that of radiance and splendour. I imagine that the sun would give off a very similar sound if we could listen to it from close by. Higher-dimensional light beings communicate telepathically, using pure thought, though others I know who have encountered them report hearing them speak. I imagine, that these friends of mine have received thought transmissions as well and it is their own brain that turns these into a sound pattern they can recognise. Since these beings have no physical bodies (although myths describe their ability to manifest one temporarily), they cannot speak in the sense that we can, by generating soundwaves, so their thoughts have to be transmitted as pure thought, which I presume is transmitted by the light they emanate. Some other noteworthy features of these light-beings include: - They float, propelled by the energy they are made up of - When they appear, they change the nature of spacetime around them. One gets the distinct impression, that time doesn’t move to the same rhythm when they are around, or might even be non-existent. There is a distinct impression, that when they descend into physical reality and one shares a space with them, some sort of space-time bubble or distortion is created, in which the usual passage of time and perhaps the laws of the physical universe change. - They have healing powers, can touch someone and cause energetic changes in the body, including sensations of vibration, heat, out-of-body experiences and a perception of time dilation. I can personally attest to the effectiveness of their healing abilities as can a few other people who have been visited by them. - The overwhelming feeling they radiate is that of love, compassion and wisdom. They send information through their radiance which means an encounter with them is always calming, soothing and uplifting Having discussed the characteristics of the beings that inhabit the second world, Rupa-Loka, it is time to look at the third world, known as The Sensuous World or Kama-Loka. The inhabitants of these worlds are lower-order Devas and they would be closer to the beings usually described by UFO/UAP witnesses or experiencers. Since these beings exist in planes close to our own (we are believed to live on the lowest of the 7 planes of the Kama-Loka) they are the most likely to visit us. It is instructive to read descriptions of the 3 planes directly above our own, meaning beings located there are almost as physical as we are, but are perhaps in a spectrum of matter that doesn’t normally interact with our own, possibly falling within the definition of “Dark” matter and energy, or alternatively, existing in a parallel reality very close in its base vibration (in the sense of how string theory would describe different, parallel realities as vibrating to slightly different frequencies) to our own, just divergent enough, that we cannot perceive or interact with it under normal circumstances. According to Buddhism, the below devas are our closest neighbours: “ (8) Yama devas (yama deva) These devas live in the air, free of all difficulties. (7) The Thirty-three Gods (tavatimsa deva) Sakka, a devotee of the Buddha, presides over this realm. Many devas dwelling here live in mansions in the air. (6) Devas of the Four Great Kings (catumaharajika deva) Home of the gandhabbas, the celestial musicians, and the yakkhas, tree spirits of varying degrees of ethical purity. The latter are analogous to the goblins, trolls, and fairies of Western fairy tales. “ Notice, that the above classification would provide a plausible explanation as to the nature of many “high strangeness” events and even cryptozoological phenomena routinely observed in the vicinity of UFOs. Interestingly, Yama and Tavatimsa Devas are described as having a very close affiliation with the air and flying, a fact widely depicted in Buddhist and Hindu art. So, in summary, Eastern Philosophies actually provide a plausible framework, through which we can view the world of religion, UFOs and High Strangeness, “spooky” occurrences and events. To my mind at least, it is beyond reasonable doubt that many of the mythological beings described by the ancients are of this category, that is they come from higher planes of existence and their lower orders are responsible for UFO and High Strangeness phenomena, whereas their higher orders form the basis of religious experience and myth.

@Adamq8 @Breakingthewall @Inliytened1 If you guys think that we are having a conversation now, talking. So called mind hasn’t transcended. Whatever you are doing is identical. Because nothing is happening. If you dont name and label whatever you are doing, nothing will be left as now. So called mind has to be transcended, which is realization of there is no such a thing as thought. Now is before birth. Emptiness, nothingness or beingness. Whatever you are doing, if you dont think its being Now. All wrong-doing arises because of mind. If mind is transformed can wrong-doing remain Buddha

Also again he makes the following hardcore solipsistic claim - can someone confirm whether he still actually believes that none of us exist when hes looking or speaking to us, as he's mostly ignored or equivocated: you're not looking at your child that 55:05 child exists as infinity as nothingness 55:08 when you're not looking at elephant it's 55:10 infinity its nothingness we're not 55:12 looking at your house it's infinity it's 55:13 nothingness 55:18 that's what it is that's also what you 55:22

Stumbled upon this gem of a man, it seems he has some very clear nondual insight, in the spirit of the hardcore Christian mystics. Here he speaks on the point of God as Nothingness.

Thank you very much for the comment. Most of the time, I am totally grounded as some kind of absolute, total nothingness that somehow is capable of projecting (and creating through the act of perceiving it) a beam of impersonal consciousness that stubbornly solidifies into the visible universe and my inner world, with a figure which is the body that acts as the centre of the play. And I am beyond the beam and the universe, which seem to float within me. That´s my solid awakening...which I know is still lacking something. As you say, yes, it is that trascendental Awareness which I am what is imagining reality, or, as I say, creating it through perceiving it. But there is a lack of joy in the process. I don´t feel the love of a father to his children. Mind you, I am a very happy, enthusiastic individual, and in my life there is joy, kindness, music, art, calm and laughter...but there is not the kind of trascendental Love for that which comes out of myself: that individual, relative perspective as a whole. Leo Gura advised me to try the psychedelic path. It very probably would be the solution.

Infinity/Nothing is Limitless.. In order for Nothingness/Infinitude to seem like Somethingness requires limits. If Infinity tried to describe itself to itself (to 'know' something about itself) how would it do it without duality(limits.. this, not that)? You can't have just the inside of a cup with no outside.. 'Just the inside of a cup' doesn't 'mean' anything without any outside. Duality is 'imaginary limitations'. We know the outside of the cup and inside of a cup are only 'a difference we imagine'.. there is just the whole cup. Limitation is a feature of 'this reality', not a bug.. it's what makes the whole experience so rich.

@Kindle Jhanas are basically steps of meditation. You focus on breath, then on pleasure, then you have a cosmic orgasm, then equanimity, and then you get to experience nothingness infinity existence and non existence. In THAT state you have the strongest concentration possible. Now, if you ask the question "what is reality/Who am I" you'll get an answer (It's a metaphorical description of course) It's basically self inquiry with 100000 times more power.

dear me, say the least I have realized to be reduce myself into nothingness is freeing, airy. Not in a low self esteem idea of nothing.. I know guilt so well, for what I needed and do not have. For what I now have because I wanted. Are we always in constant want or need? There are some peope that stay in the heart and more than worldly things, it has a place and does not leave. Not attachments but tokens, poststamps of love and joy. I wont peel these away if I have to. It can just stay. would be nice though be like a tree for once, the seasons keep you going and all you're doing is being still. Your leaves bend to the winds of change surrendering, and fruits that fall doesnt matter.

I can’t believe people still don’t understand the implications of non-duality and oneness. I will try my best to explain. And this is the most BS-free shit I’m gonna say here. There is nothing. Nothing, because it is uncreated, is eternal, an infinite set of mathematical energy. This is the universal self which is metaphysically, a mirror with nothing to reflect on. This tiny mirror, sliver of consciousness, morphed and twisted itself like a pretzel to face itself. This created an infinite reflection that created consciousness, as self reference. You are that mirror right now. Everything around you is a reflection of yourself. It is situated right where your imaginary face used to be. You are literally infinite. How else would you perceive things that seem to be far away from you? You are like a 360 degree camera situated everywhere and anywhere. The entire universe is your true body. You don’t control your body. The “air” or “space” around you is nothingness and it basically uses your imaginary body like a puppet. It is all a dream happening nowhere. Whoever is reading this is right now God. There aren’t two instances of consciousness running at the same time. That doesn’t mean that a SCENE is not real. Many characters can partake in the scene but they’re not “on” as you are. In this way God is democratic. Every character gets to have the absolute consciousness as it is required, absolute and necessary. You are something, impregnating nothing with your consciousness. You exist. That’s it. You are the animating force of the entire universe. Thats what you are. The void, or reflection-less mirror upon which all lifetimes will appear. You are pure love, pure unity.

It does/doesn't end. It ends/begins in God/Absolute Nothingness/Infinity. If you just kept on going during trips, and totally surrender no matter what happens or for how long. After an eternity, you literally experience all of existence and become so infinite that all dualities merge. Because it is absolutely non-dual, this is impossible to describe in language. All dualities become non-dual, and that becomes dual, and becomes non-dual, and infinite, and finite, and existence, and non-existence, and so on... Once you experience this end/beginning, you simply are what you are in everyday existence. In fact, existence is indescribably beautiful in comparison to non-existence/God (Which is also infinitely beautiful). So, in contrast, they make each other infinitely more infinitely beautiful. Thus you just are aware of what you are and what existence is at all times and appreciate all that is, and just be and love and enjoy yourself.

It can take a lot of consciousness. Train meditation and contemplation. All kinds of things can produce mystical experiences. Eventually mystical experiences can be essentially DONE -- since reality itself is recognized to be the deepest mystical experience possible, already... But I digress... Before you get to that point, anyway... One thing that can induce a mystical experience is to imagine 2 people -- one giving an object to the 2nd, and the 2nd obviously receiving the object... "Unify" that. Sort of just imagine being one of them, and the other, at the same time... With the transfer of the "object" in view. Feel how it's almost a higher dimension and timeless "shape." Now you might access a sort of "next level" above this reality, and you can explore that Imaginal realm in a timeless fashion -- giving and receiving happening "at the same time" timelessly... Notice how cause and effect is a sham. Go deeper. Expand. Make an art out of it... Notice the miracle of it. Notice how it's empty perception floating in nothingness with no separate person aware of it -- it's just miraculously, and perhaps even terrifyingly, WHAT IT IS... If it doesn't blow your mind, it's not what I'm trying to convey. It's almost impossible to convey, but yeah, go ahead and try it. Knock yourself out. Preferably after a brief meditation sit or at least after warming up by noting or breath counting, etc.

It’s been years trying to understand how physical sensations within direct experience are illusory.. It can understand that something can arise out of nothing and that nothing is the source for everything, it also gets that IT IS everything that is occuring within its field of experience without heirarchy.. Sure… but like existence is occurring for the perceiver that’s observing it… physical objects may arise out of nothingness and are only sensations that the (no-self) is experiencing, but it can’t just be a conceptual idea that you as an identification doesn’t exist and therefore is the illusion… What I don’t get is happening prior to the language used to conceptualise it. I can’t deny that I directly need this thing we call oxygen for survival, like that’s actually occurring for me in this present moment… nothing outside of my direct experience is occurring and there is no self to directly experience it anyway (so they say).. so how could it exist if it’s not existing and if it’s not existing then how can you explain the sensations experienced?… an imagination within the infinite mind… It seems like Enlightenment is just a way to describe our infinite nature, yet somehow our finite bodies don’t encompass physicality?? I know, I get it, I’m self deceived and such …. .. but how tho? How can the illusion run without something to experience it?

Perhaps, but I did go back to watch the beginning of the video and now I do get the bigger picture. Its a meta-perspective that goes beyond just escaping society as a human being who hunts for his own food and lives off the grid. A perspective that looks at the bigger picture of how society works, how it constructs itself, and it analyzes it at its core. I do think that it goes both ways though, to question and escape society at the meta-level perspective as presented in the video, should also eventually lead us to escape society at the physical level as well. If not then my point still stands, it's all just mental masturbation, it's intellectualization for entertainment. How could we discuss the illusions of society but then still partake in the illusion of society? That's like listening to motivational self-help advice to help you get off your ass, but then in reality you do agree with the advice but you still sit on the couch playing video games eating Doritos & drinking Mountain Dew. Maybe this is the bigger-picture that we're missing here, it's all just mental masturbation. To deny this I would say is justification. "Wow cool ideas about society!" *Proceeds to work a 9-5, browse the internet, watch TV, play video games, shop at the grocery store, participate in social activities* This is also a response to @RendHeaven And edit: I do understand what you're saying RendHeaven. I call it mental masturbation because I don't see how exactly the information presented in that video is practical. Leo even admits its the ultimate conspiracy theory. It's sort of the same thing as saying life is an illusion, but what can we actually do with that information? I guess it just leads to more understanding, and maybe that's what we're all here to do, to understand reality, but still, mental masturbation. Maybe it helps guide us with our psychedelic trips, to understand these deeper concepts. The theory that life is an illusion certainly made sense of an acid trip I had. I died and the illusion of life just vanished completely into nothingness.

We want the very thing we are the most afraid of– Love, Union, Death. These words are synonymous and are the reason why we are so fucking confused in this life. We want to love but we won't let ourselves die– so how can we love? We want union but are afraid to lose our separation– so how can we unite? We are like moths who go toward the light because it is all we desire. But when reaching it we pull away because we sense death when we are close. Well, what we intuit is true. We will die when we let ourselves Love. When we reach the light it burns us to heaven. To love is to lose yourself. It is why people love watching t.v., love playing a sport, a game, or conversating. It's why people love going to sleep. All of your worries, stress, anxieties, fears, limitations– they are gone. They are out the window because you are out of the window. You are gone with the wind; one with the wind. Our self is dead. Suddenly we are everything. To love is to become something bigger. Have you heard of synergy? Synergy is what you are, not either of the two making it up. Are you brave enough to let yourself become this nothingness? Bravery is not a choice it's a commitment. You are either committed or not, there is no in-between. Have you noticed that the best players, athletes, fighters, snowboarders, business leaders, even porn stars, are the ones that fully commit? A person that shreds down a mountain at incredible speeds, a person that rides across a wave, walks across a tightrope, flys between a mountain range in a wingsuit. These people are free because they are brave. They are brave because they let themselves go and fully commit to the unknown. To death. To Love.

This is life and death simultaneously. In your direct experience, see this. No one dies, because after death you’re either: dead and know it (not dead), or dead and not know it (not dead). There will not be an experience of nothingness, that’s for sure.

if I am God, why would I need to imagine anything? to imagine this reality, humans, me, Leo, or whatever? why not just be God and have pure nothingness as it was for infinity before?

You did experience God and Love. It's just too radical for your mind to fathom it because you dove in too deep too fast. Rather than vaping 5-MeO, plug it instead and you will have a much better time and also deeper insight. Blasting yourself into Nothingness is not so helpful because you're not actually contemplating the nature of reality as you would do on a more gradual plugged trip. Lower your doses and contemplate reality.

I decided I am going to keep a journal of each of the "personalities" within me. I am doing this to keep track of the needs, desires, fears, and level of consciousness of each so I can release them. I will release each cluster of thought patterns until I eradicate myself back to nothingness. Leaving myself everything. 11: This dominating part of me doesn't want to be responsible for anything. The part of me just wants to go from experience to experience, worry-free and unattached. This part wants to be completely detached from everything and everyone. The only thing this part wants anything to do with is nothing. Nothing but whatever comes up and then leaves. No attachments. Not to anything, not to anyone. Not even to itself. This part just wants constant change, growth, realization, and then new ones. This part doesn't even want to be a part. It just wants to live. 22: This part has seen past the nonsense, the chaos. This part recognizes patterns and wants to 'level up' out of these patterns so as to create positive change. This part of me agrees with 11 in wanting new and better experiences. But how can you level up your experience if you are mindlessly engaging in the same behavioral patterns/loops/cycles? 22 wants creation. Crow: This part represents change and transformation. So, like 11, this part wants change and doesn't want to be committed to anything. Except, it does want to be committed to itself. That is what makes this part different from 11. 11's non-attachment goes so deep it doesn't even want to be attached to itself. But Crow wants to track progress. And in order to track anything, it needs to develop a solid and separate sense of self. Crow wants individuality. Because of this, it cares about where it perceives itself in life and outside of life. It considers all angles. Cleopatra: This part is dangerous. It's a dominating aspect that does not consider what's outside of her desires– probably because she doesn't recognize it. This part scares the other parts because it is untamed, ruthless, thoughtless, and action-based. She comes off as a dictator but doesn't mean to be that way even though she is. She is not evil she is unconscious. If you get close to this part, she will sexually blind you, distort your reality, and fulfill your needs unless they interfere with her own. She will do this naturally as she sexually blinds and distorts herself, fulfilling all of her own needs. She's addicted to the sense of oneness but is trapped in her separation. She's controlling. Eva: This part is Cleopatra's opposite. She doesn't want to control she wants to be controlled. The idea of being controlled releases stress for Eva. She actually interprets it as love. It's sick and fucked up and she causes a lot of tension for 11 and Crow who despise controlling environments. Things being handled and done for Eva is something she dreams about. She has a deep-seated belief that she has to do everything herself in life. Unlike the other parts, she does not get off on this belief. She gets off on the idea of someone completely taking over and controlling her. Completely surrendering to life and letting go of everything including herself. She doesn't care what happens to her, she fancies it. She doesn't believe anything comes easily in life. She doesn't believe in other people. She is suffering; she is in a constant state of pain. She's a child. She deserves her needs to be met but cannot meet them on her own.

Yūgen is an important concept in traditional Japanese aesthetics. The exact translation of the word depends on the context. Yūgen is not an allusion to another world. It is about this world, this experience… “To watch the sun sink behind a flower clad hill. To wander on in a huge forest without thought of return. To stand upon the shore and gaze after a boat that disappears behind distant islands. To contemplate the flight of wild geese seen and lost among the clouds…” –Zeami Motokiyo Japanese aesthetic ideals are most heavily influenced by Japanese Buddhism. In the Buddhist tradition, all things are considered as either evolving from or dissolving into nothingness. This “nothingness” is not empty space. It is rather a space of potentiality. If the seas represent potential then each thing is like a wave arising from it and returning to it. There are no permanent waves. There are no perfect waves. At no point is a wave complete, even at its peak. Nature is seen as a dynamic whole that is to be admired and appreciated. This appreciation of nature has been fundamental to many Japanese aesthetic ideals, “arts,” and other cultural elements. In this respect, the notion of “art” (or its conceptual equivalent) is also quite different from Western traditions.. Japanese aesthetics is a set of ancient ideals that include “wabi” (transient and stark beauty), “sabi” (the beauty of natural aging), and “yūgen.” These ideals, and others, underpin much of Japanese cultural and aesthetic norms.. Thus, while seen as a philosophy in Western societies, the concept of aesthetics in Japan is seen as an integral part of daily life.

I was thinking about how to survive jail. But then I thought - what I'm trying to survive ? I'm trying to survive nothingness. There is nothing to survive. When I was a child, I survived poverty. When I was an adult, I survived loss and pain. Loneliness. I don't like sunlight. It hurts my eyes. In jail, there's little light. I live in my chamber, locked away with little light coming in. I have to walk to the bars to be able to see light. This is an island. Very little activity here. My cell is placed away from the sun. So I hardly get sunlight. Only a few rays that enter through the slit at the side of the door. There's makeshift arrangement outside my cell that pretty much blocks a lot of the sunlight coming in. Some days they move the makeshift, and on those days there's ample sunlight coming in. I feel a bit abnormal sitting in this prison. Whatever you call it jail, prison. Prison seems like a strong word and a modern word. I prefer calling this jail. It's an old style of referring things. Before I can think of how my life will be after jail, let me think about how my life is being in jail... One thing....it feels like liberation. Nothing to worry. What can be a worse punishment than this, a worse form of ostracization ? They say I shouldn't torture myself. So I decided to torture myself in the worst manner possible.

I’m seeing more and less efficacy in my old patterns of limitations. What this loss of an ultimate working model over and over again to where what’s working can seem to somehow be less resistance than what came before. Ultimately any map of enlightenment is not the territory, unless you are using insight or concentration aspects to investigate the territory within the map which gives rise in some odd way to both the ability to hold religious God full-fledged, absolutely unobtainable new attainments in my focus long enough to investigate the pointed to sensate illusion outside of current sensate illusion that is the always YOU created thing. Jesus depends on you for relevancy at least as much as you rely on him. Trust me. You can forget the highest amazing live realms of Jesus over and over again because they simply do not produce lasting (permanent ground to reality being finally seen as FULL ILLUSION AND TRUTH ALWAYS IN SUPERPOSITION OF YOUR IMAGINATION OF LIMITATIONS WHICH CREATE YOUR WHOLE PERCEPTUAL CAPABILITIES IN WAYS WHICH WOULD MIND FUCK SKULL FUCK YOU IN SUCH A GRUESOME WAY THAT YOU WOULD APPRECIATE THE NEW FRESHNESS THAT DUKKHA HAS SHOWN UP AS AGAIN. If you want the hottest girlfriend, realize that dukkha is the crazy chick who would never leave you whose love you don’t even deserve and avoid as you’re afraid of unopening your current illusion to another in the normal human experience of sex. I remember when I first attained to clairsentience & telepathy the first thing I wanted to create my now properly understood and appreciated aspect of the source of my longest lasting and deepest fear of aliens more powerful than me. Then I realized what they are on a self-love level and they can’t access enlightenment in their conception of self. They say it’s just a big black wall. They are formless god damn masters just as much as ANY born human ever is. A true self experience of a rock becoming enlightened or unenlightenment or the perspective of unenlightened beings is true and undeniable insight if that is the basis of perception your form has and the only door you have is impermanence. The form crumbles away. Gets thrown through a black hole, worm hole, and shat on by an omnidimensional formless seagull Godhead of nausea turning to rapture that pisses you off at it’s arising and passing away making you realize the unequanimous aspects of your power vs. non power feeling of achievement, greatness, and happiness which produces less aversion to bliss and dukkha as the same lover and hater of what makes you a human you and every YOU beyond human to produce the most imperceptible sense of something beyond just change to progress further in insight. Imagining how the unenlightenment of God process works in God Realization and enlightenment seems to be almost more fruitful than thinking of awakening as forward progress which does not last as an ultimate motion in some ever-present ultimate consciousness. Ultimate consciousness comes from a lack of even more wacky ultimate realities like hard formless Nothingness, neither perception nor nonperception, or the cessation of perception and feeling. If you haven’t lost the ability to stop or start the cessation of all consciousness, how do you describe that unimaginable sense of complete erasure and nonexistence which seems like where you might have come from? How do you knowingly design the unenlightenment process with this paradigm-locked false ultimate reality without ultimately becoming smaller and subtler WITHIN and outside of consciousness but even moreso in the superposition of ultimate faith of unknowing which is much more like true, effective knowledge of how to control reality comes from perceiving and dropping and coming back to every sensate experience ever held within your illusory character’s illusion of truth. That is the only starting point for the uncovering of the complex and ever-dependent interactions between the holon of Indra’s Web of superposition fluxing between all aspects of reality at once through imagination which is ultimately one of the best tools to actually do unimaginable and indescribable things. There’s a reason nondual teachings don’t work. You attach to a nondual reality which means all is self and that is the very process of investigation into direct no-self as the logical necessity of any self vs. non-self axis of phenomena which could be perception, experience or not. None of this will work for you unless you work hard, get lucky, or likely both. Luckily causal frameworks of reality are built into any true insight framework which solidifies the story from which to work from. That’s another way of saying, due to karma, you will experience the arising and passing away of enlightenment. You will become enlightened. It just is a bit more fun from the human perspective than the rock perspective for most people other than a mad yogi whose really going deep past the illusions of past humanness which would have given him aversion to incredibly subtle awareness like only really having impermanence in a way that life can perceive your experience. Then you have a problem of how you could be boundless consciousness or even infinite consciousness but not also be the consciousness that awakens the rock that you detune God Reality to be able to perceive in this special, human way. Humans want to find aliens more to understand the nature of what humans truly are rather than actually know what an alien is and forget humanness. This is the selfish perspective of the honest karmic relationship between seemingly different forms or non forms. You only really care about others to in some way help yourself as the intuition of true self/no self beyond a temporary illusion easily formed in consciousness is what makes up the process of enlightenment. Tearing down. Building. Change. Growth. New attainments overshadowing old. Giving you a new fresh experience of being even more directly controllable consciousness which is precisely what you are not ENTIRELY. This is the unspeakable part of teaching and insight. It’s how you can’t make better perfect from perfect other than perceiving bliss as a perfect dukkha nowhere which makes it seems lastingly satisfying.

@VeganAwake, @BipolarGrowth thank you! Good to hear I was traversing known territory. Before the sessions I set the intention to be taken as far as I could go in terms of understanding :). @Inliytened1 , logically though, the void to have the quality of love doesn't make sense as then it would not be nothingness. To experience the void and omniscience as one seems contradictory - amazing that you had such an experience.

I thought I would try and explain my mythology of existence. The narrative of a mythology is a useful device for both giving meaning and for understanding and which orient you in a particular way. Without these you are ignorant (literally: have no knowledge) and existence is incomprehensible (Latin: not perceived). What follows is my mythology which I have variously hinted at here and there on the forum. There are several basic players in my mythology. These are Time,, the Changing Aspect, the Unchanging Aspect, Distinctions, Unity and Narrative. They all interact with each other in various ways, no one is more primary than the other. I use the words God, universe, reality, experience, existence, everything, awareness and consciousness interchangeably below. Time Time doesn’t exist. It’s clear that once a thing has happened and is over, there’s no going back to it. There isn’t a chance to re-experience a past event in its fullness as if it were the present moment. We have memories, but these are not the same as the original event in quality. Equally with future events, we are yet to experience them in their fullness, even if they are likely to pass. With introspection it becomes clear that events in time only occur in our imaginations, time is just imagination. We experience time, but only by constructing it in our heads. The Changing Aspect Existence cannot keep still. Everywhere we care to look things come and things go. Even in the insubstantial world of thought and emotion there is constant flux if observed for any length of time. Why does this happen? Why isn’t everything static and unchanging for eternity? The reason is because the whole of existence has to be created from nothingness. If time existed then there only has to be one starting point or moment of conception, which sets in motion everything else. Conversely, if time does not exist then everything is collapsed into a single moment. No sooner has a universe been created from nothingness than it disappears back into nothingness. Each moment of creation is unique in quality. This is the source of the instability of existence, whatever process creates existence is free to do it as it wishes every moment. Put simply existence is being born and dies every moment. This process of birth and death of existence is instantaneous (because there is no time). Existence is in a superposition of both birth and death; our experience is both dead and alive. This is right, no sooner has something happened, than it has slipped into memory as if it had never existed. The Unchanging Aspect Despite all the change it is noteworthy that we experience a sense of continuity. Each moment of existence seems to be based on the previous one. We say that existence unfolds moment-by-moment. How can continuity be experienced in a universe that dies and is reborn constantly? By itself it cannot, this process is without a memory. Each new universe does not have to be related to the previous one. We can see that this is not the case. Each new moment is similar to the one that has gone before. There is a kind of “stickiness” to reality. This is the Unchanging Aspect. Like the Changing Aspect the Unchanging Aspect is fundamental to the process of creation. Whatever creates the universe likes to do it in a similar way each time. Without a brake on the process of creation of that happens each moment, eternity would happen in an instant. The Unchanging Aspect works in opposition to change to act as that brake and so that it unfolds at a finite pace. The interplay between the two forces of change and stillness is what creates our experience of steady change. From this balance we a free to construct time in our minds. The stillness within existence also gives us our memories. It makes previous incarnations of the universe stick around so that we can relive (in a reduced form) past events. It also confers our sense of continuity of both ourselves and existence itself. Yes we are created and destroyed every moment, but the Unchanging Aspect ensures that we don’t disappear forever. The Unchanging Aspect is also what creates order from the chaos of creation. It gives us meaning and narrative from an otherwise completely arbitrary existence. It is the thread of existence. Distinctions What does it mean for something to exist? On the face of it the thing is there, it is, we are aware of it. We could leave it at that and agree that awareness alone is enough to confer existence to phenomena in experience. This is true. But existence is also distinction. When we’re aware of the table we are sat at, it is distinct from all the other things around it. In some way the table is contrasted with everything else around it. Another way to look at it is to see the table has a boundary. There is a separation between table and not-table, with a kind of imaginary thin line or boundary separating the two. This idea of a boundary is important, because it demarcates where one thing ends and another begins. If you are God and begin with a blank canvas (nothingness), it has no boundaries contained within it at all. Nothing exists in nothingness (!) precisely because nothing is to be distinguished, because there are no boundaries drawn around anything. It is a moot point whether nothingness exists or not. Nothingness is always in superposition with somethingness because of the Changing Aspect and the non-existence of time. It exists because it is something. Fundamentally, there cannot be non-existence, existence doesn’t have an opposite. Sure, a particular phenomenon within experience can stop or disappear – and so it stops existing. But taken as a whole existence does not have an opposite. What is a distinction really? It is a manifestation of the Unchanging Aspect. It is a sensation or meaning or awareness that sticks around. So the table keeps on being the table. The nature of a distinction is that it stays around long enough to be useful. But because of the Changing Aspect, the distinctions themselves change over each iteration of the universe. The boundary making up a distinction envelops nothingness. Everything that can exist is brought about from nothingness by its distinctiveness. Existence is nothing but distinctions around nothingness. Qualia and the phenomena of consciousness is all about distinction. Sound is distinct from sight, red distinct from green, leaves distinct from stones. It is not incorrect to say that we are experiencing nothingness; both in the sense that something is being created from nothing constantly (and both are in superposition), but also because distinctions are drawn in nothingness. It is the Unchanging Aspect that draws the distinctions, the Changing Aspect which destroys them; but behind both there is nothingness. Distinctions and boundaries may confer existence to things, but there are no gaps between them. Fundamentally, a boundary demarcates a thing, and everything that is not that thing, it’s a binary choice. There’s nothing that’s half a thing or half existing. That’s not to say that boundaries don’t overlap, is a hand an arm for example? Language itself is digital and so it naturally also creates boundaries: a big flat stone can be a table for your coffee; the table is brought into existence through language demarcating it. Unity Hopefully I’ve made it clear that nothingness and existence are one and the same thing. Also, that both the Changing and Unchanging Aspects are universal to existence/experience. And, that the Unchanging Aspect drives distinctions which create existence itself. Indeed the constancy of change is also a product of the Unchanging Aspect. There is a unity in all the base phenomena of the universe of experience. Everything that can exist: the world, the body, thought, the self, the observer of all those things, is a function of the same process. That process is the ever present creation of something from nothing. Everything is both nothing and something. Everything is one. Narrative The finite pace of experience, allows for another constancy which is the stringing together of many changes into a cohesive story line. This is what gives meaning to existence. Meaning is simultaneously the recognition of the constancy of experience, and also the ability to see and then explain change happening around us. It is only through narrative that we can tell a consistent story of what is happening to us. It ties together ragbag assortment of experience and memories into a cohesive whole. It makes the world a place that can be known and understood. God plays a game of creation and then tries to explain to itself (through thought and words and narrative) why it is happening. This is exactly what I’m doing here. There is no difference between me and the engine of creation, I am synonymous with it. We all are.

good insights,, the only thing i'll add is that it seems you only became conscious of one facet of Truth, emptiness or that Truth is nothing. Emptiness/Pure Void/Nothingness is identical to Infinite Love/Beauty/Perfection. it is like a diamond with different facets that are ultimately one. Emptiness and Love are identical and are Absolute. Both (it) are (is) nowhere - for it be somewhere would mean there could be someplace it is not, but it is Infinity - which is omnipresent.

@BipolarGrowth Now that I read the text you spoke about, I have a better understanding of your own post itself. And to be honest, I think that the "Aware Space" I speak about is not related to the "Boundless Space" the text details. There is nothing objective about Aware Space as I understand it. Furthermore, it contains any notion of "nothingness" or "boundless consciousness". Aware Space, or at least as I experience it, has only subjective qualities, and it is not even a dim nothingness or perceptible void of any kind. It is the place where everything happens. It provides everything that is perceptible with a context in which to appear, and it is that which knows it.