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Hi Everyone, I have something to share, this is more about my inner emotional process of coming to terms with the inner conflict I keep feeling. First of all, I love serving the evolution of everyone here with anything I am able to offer anyone seeking to improve/heal/awaken or surrender and make peace with. It's such a joy for me because I am the recipient of the positive quality of anything that comes through me for another person, no matter whether they are able to receive it or not. That is why I love this place, because there are people who are ready and willing to heal and grow, and thus my abilities are put to a good use of meeting other people's needs for expansion. I am not in a place in my life right now where I'd be able to or had the energy to start and sustain my own platform for whomever would be interested, and so this is a great opportunity for me to still contribute, while still having enough energy to preserve for myself and my ongoing healing and awakening process. But I can't get behind anything Leo says/does here and it makes me feel as if I was a silent ally to something I fundamentally disagree with, and find incredibly destructive. It began with Leo posting a bunch of things in the dating/relationships sub-forum where the quality of the content was that of a 15 year old horny boy, rather than an awakened being. Then I found the George Floyd topics, where Leo blatantly started victim shaming the poor guy. Then I saw Leo dismiss the things that called him out and pointed out his toxic tendencies, and he accused them of self-bias, and said to me himself 'oh this is the big me talking, the GOD that is all of us', as if Leo had no personal accountability for the things he's saying here behind the excuse of 'being enlightened'. Here's some news, the BIG LEO is all of us, therefore hiding behind the bigger self is as ridiculous as pretending someone else's mother is really your own. It's a massive spiritual ego-trip, and it is a complete conflict of interests for me, because the more toxic this place gets, the more I feel like I am a silent ally, and the less I find it productive for me to even offer anything to anyone, because most of it gets just drowned in a pile of dismissal and blame-games pretending to be spiritual. May I also point out that while thankfully this isn't a cult, having a spiritual teacher unwilling to acknowledge his massive blind-spots is extremely unfortunate. Maybe other people feel the same way, if anyone feels similarly, may this be a permission to honor your feelings and intuition. I'm still somewhat emotionally attached to this forum so I don't know how easy leaving for good for me would be, I had left for quite some time but I came back because I still found joy in serving others. And now that motivation is withering away once again. It is not that I don't find it lovely to serve, it is that I find it equally important not to be an enabler and a silent ally to toxicity. Whether I disappear forever, or this is just me venting here, thank you for being here and being on this journey with me, whether you feel like it or not, on the journey of healing and awakening, we are all in it together no matter the roles being played by each of us. Love to all of you guys!

@outlandish Good points there, to an AWAKENED being survival is an issue and should be handled as smoothly and efficiently as possible. This thread wasn't intended for this but here are some solutions (though a house would be much more convenient for the average man): Shower = gym membership / lakes Laundry = portable washer/or hand washing. Peeing easy, pooping (in the wild or in a bag? Lol) we have lots of places everywhere with toilets here so not a big problem. But still a little hazzle, though pooping you don't do that often, so this is probably fine. Robbed = who cares I don't own close to nothing anyways. Gps tracking for expensive stuff. Water = Will not take much time to fill up somewhere anyways. I would say the most difficult task for me... might be not to leave the van hanging and always transport it with you. Also to make food and contribute to the world. The van isn't a limitless space for creation. All these points are to be considered if you become a dropout on the spiritual path everyone! It may not be as fancy as you have imagined! I also will not make the decision before I have tested it for a bit to be sure I can live like this. @datamonster True, what I seek is no high paying job only the minimal amount of work for survival, hazzles from living cheaply included as work for survival. So minimising both, if I could I would sleep on a motorcycle no tent or home that's how far you can go with this. Very good point though, we will live for a hundred years who knows, spending a little time to set a good fundation for your life is very important. I wouldn't ever advise anyone who hasn't awakened or is close to drop out because of reasons such as mine. Seeking enlightenment or whatever the ego had thought of that they don't know how to do. Then it would be a much wiser idea to first figure out how to be then how to live. Getting educated to work and save money to live on stocks dividends in india for the rest of your life would be a sacrifice worth 5years extra work for you who are new to spirituality. Be nice to the thread and don't question or argue me. Instead it would be nicer to spread your knowledge and points to other who may be reading this. You can point out why what I say maybe won't be the reality but don't talk in a conversation towards to me, try to give what you can to the audience, thank you❤️?

How could you be a failure, what have you failed with, for me you are a great success because you're alive?. You're failing with being your true self, yes. But your thinking by being something else you will be happy, no. Realise that that is just a thought, hallucination or fantasy. You can truly enjoy who you are and how you are right now if you want to. But in a mind too indebted to ego this will take time to solve. How you solve this there is a million pieces of advice. I can name multiple and how to experience the highest states of living. But that is no good because probably only when actual survival is your only problem left in life then it's time to awaken or you have already awakened by then. We all experienced a long way of unleashing lots of ego and trying all the time to figure life out. If you want results you need to always try to evolve, not by doing, thinking and being the same way as before. But by changing all the time who you are... You just need to try and try and try, each time hoping you will get closer. Actually living to the fullest isn't that difficult. But who is ready to abandon ego and just soak into joy/energy and what you're consciousness really crave. You will be able to be outmost joyfull/ecstatic by yourself when you have awakened, now even eating will be difficult because you will have to use some energy to get up and eat... All of you will be focused into bliss/abandon of body/mind but not abandon of life energy, that you abandon close to death. There's so much to explain and talk about Awakening and how to get there, I can only gove you little advice, I don't have the time/will for more. So why do I do this when I can be at my best by myself? Because once you have everything only then can you be truly selfless. I do what is needed for the world. Which is my survival and the work towards every being being truly ecstatic. Once everyone is completely happy then my work is done in this world. Or once I decide to leave my body and become enlightened. Just try all the time to improve, however you can. Videos can help. Your entire experience of the world is within you as you know. So you are always alone, and how/who you are shouldn't be limited to a measly though or memory of experience. How you improve or upgrade yourself is all from within. So don't do it from the outside thinking external changes will fix all your problems and your experience of life. Though that will also be needed, just don't overvalue it or if you decide to do that. Then always learn when you figure out it doesn't work. That's my number one advice, always try to change/improve in some way and get a feel for what works and what doesn't work for you to become your possibility as a life. Then when ego is strong in one direction you will realise it isn't the right way to live and change, then when that doesn't work change again, and again, and again. For this you need to be life sensitive, have a good feel for your experiences of life and how you are like always right now in the moment. Limiting yourself from your true potential is needed sometimes. This is why survival will become a big problem for newly awakened people. For example going to school you can't be too happy otherwise they will kick you out of the classroom, but you need the class to et a job and earn enough for survival. Therefore you need to limit yourself but live as happily as you can within that system. Also don't take life to seriously or rather dont take your mind to seriously. You can't trust your mind because its very biased. Same for bodily needs, such as sex. Not the body nor the mind will in the end be the answer to the most pleasant ways of living. Sorry I wrote too much and so messy. Hope I didn't confuse or put some delusional ideas intp your heads. Learn about chakras, etheric body, sadhana, watch ego stages from actualized, watch sadhguru and do your best??

Yeah Leo changed my life too, and ofcourse people will always critique other people out of ignorance mostly. Keep doing what you are doing Leo. You are probing deep into reality where not alot of people have traveled which is a path where ridicule and ignorance will follow you. But you are showing the path and I my self can confirm alot of what you are talking about, far from 100% awakened but ive had some deep insights and experiences. Glad I found your channel even tho it will end in the Character Adam ceasing to exist ??

You're never really awakened. Your consciousness is always growing. Like this... https://youtu.be/00crN5J5drc

My simplistic view is that Leos health issues have been bringing his energy down a little. And he is far more awakened to conciousness than health But overall I find his content brilliant and insightful

But only focusing on the mind is like sitting on the moon while being afraid of the whole sky. mind is one energy Center, then there’s the heart and then there’s the gut. If you’re solely mind based, you are avoiding two thirds of your being, and will be in conflict with those who are based in other centres. I personally am on a journey integrating my energetic awakening into the alignment with an awakened mind, it is as if I was going in the opposite direction, hence the tension I feel when related to only from the mind.

What's the point? @Martin123 So Leo has some downsides? Sure as heck.. Ofcourse he is a human (also God but hey)? Maybe the mistake is from your side and your perfectionist expectations. Do you think Leo doesn't go the the bathroom? Do you have an expectation that eckhart tolle never gets upset in the traffic? Do you believe Rupert Spira never had a sexual thought? . I don't even see Leo going that much off the script. So maybe you should work on your expectations of what should awakened masters be like and act like.

Also as an HSP and someone who’s gone through 5 years of an energetic healing and awakening. I can feel the energy Leo emits through some of his posts, especially in this thread (perhaps because there is great genuineness within them). Its lovely and certainly very charged, at the same time it’s very raw and unrefined, as If ‘yes the awakened energy is there, but it hasn’t truly settled into the body.’ that is why the insights may be very masculine oriented, but deny the feminine in a way that to those of us who are more comfortable with the feminine can feel abrasive and insensitive. The imbalance is that the masculine will always seek greater insights, because seeking is a masculine energy, and the feminine will then integrate and receive the consciousness that was discovered through seeking. Without enough emphasis on the feminine energy, the endless seeking won’t be balanced by healthy receiving and embodiment. Simply because the masculine only knows how to seek, but doesn’t have the ability to fully receive. Only the feminine can. and there in lies the struggle. If I could summarize my feelings in one sentence, it would be that I haven’t felt well received by Leo. It surely isn’t my responsibility to convince you Leo about the importance of the feminine receptivity, and it also isn’t up to you to cater to my own feelings, for those are for me to reconcile with. yet it seems very healing for all of us to acknowledge this. We would all benefit by becoming better receivers, because what if the world becomes globally better, environment improves, politics improve, and then we will sabotage it all because we haven’t developed our capacity to receive the new world fully ? wouldn’t that be the tragedy of the century.

Not many people are as awakened as much as they think they are.

@BlackMaze Yeah well, you gotta eat something! I'd choose plants over animals if I were awakened enough to that.

Take your medicine. That means eyes closed and silence when doing 5 meo dmt. Otherwise it's just fun and dissociation. I come from stage Orange ranching and sawmilling so I had enough of that and decided to become a mystic. A retarded clown Mystic. Don't tell me about this stuff if you're not from here. You have no credibility with me. I'll hear you out though. I've been around cattle all my life. I used to trap coons, possums, grey fox and coyotes and club them to death and I used to love rare cooked, bloody steaks. Not anymore or I should say, not as much and definitely not cooked rare and bloody. Makes my gut cramp. Blood has to be cooked out of it. It's still delicious though. What's worse imo is refined sugar intake and for me personally, alcohol. It's an addiction and can manifest negativity and violence, sugar, that is. You have a right NOT to be negative. Maurice Nicoll nailed that one. It feels good. People are blind to their own love of feeding on negative emotions but this stops when they wake up. If they wake up. If not, they'll be the ones who are always on your ass all the time trying to push your buttons or guilt trip you. Don't look them in the eye. That's how they rob you of chi energy as they feed on it and waste it all. Is this a journal or a diary? I treat it like a diary sometimes I guess. That reminds me. Too much dairy creates bloatedness. That's a personal comment in this diary about dairy. I've always been considered weird. My thoughts are nonsequitor. After 40 years, which was 10 years ago, I self diagnosed an Aspergers condition. I like to be lighthearted and laugh. You can laugh at me but I'd rather you laugh with me as we enjoy classic British hard rock like Pink Floyd and Zeppelin. I understand everyone has their own preferences though. Be reminded of my having a permit to use personal pronouns in the 'spiritual community'. I just returned from using my last bit of 5 meo dmt. It doesn't last long around me. Having a supply that is. It inspired me to cut loose with this bit of spiritual mansplaining that will outrage a small percentage most likely.,,,,I have an ego which is in near continual identification with different forms and concepts but also there is an individuality of Essence which at times is capable of expressing from the Causal body which has access to the Causal realm and nowadays in some circles, is referred to as the Imaginal realm. Or the realm of Consciousness or the realm of the atom or the Causal realm. See, it makes a circle,,,,I guess that's it for now. Don't worry, be happy. Why frown, act a clown.???‍??‍♂️Your treasures are found in Being, but moreso as a multidimensional Being instead of conditioned personality.Let your fracturedness heal and integrate and become the basis for your multidimensionalness. Trade in the Superego for an awakened Conscience and get back bonus bucks which will be your own hard earned spiritual coin to spend as you wish. Spiritual materialist find spiritual coin lying in the street and immediately spend it by just talking out of their ass. Nearly everyone goes through that phase though. Overlook this tendency and one day they'll go beyond it. A lot of things are different from what you figured they would be. Some of you have already realized this. Real eyes, realize, real lies.

Couple of pointers - kindness is considered weakness - most people operate from lack or scarcity mindset - selfishness is deeply rooted through evolution - most people live a stage Orange life. They are not awakened - Society is more about biological needs than spiritual needs. It's Darwinian.. Material >>>>Spiritual. Society is skewed against awakening. That's why monks live in Himalayas - people think being selfish is smart. Materialist paradigm - Money is the root cause of all evil - Evolutionary traits beget fear and mistrust of others - Religion is fascist. Does not play the role of uniting people as it should. - living in high population low resource has caused people to embrace narcissistic traits to survive - Capitalism and consumerism encourages selfishness and narcissism. Stage Orange - when a human becomes progressively selfish, they also become progressively heartless. - moral decline and decline in heart values. Heart chakra very weak in most.

Couple of pointers - kindness is considered weakness - most people operate from lack or scarcity mindset - selfishness is deeply rooted through evolution - most people live a stage Orange life. They are not awakened - Society is more about biological needs than spiritual needs. It's Darwinian.. Material >>>>Spiritual. Society is skewed against awakening. That's why monks live in Himalayas - people think being selfish is smart. Materialist paradigm - Money is the root cause of all evil - Evolutionary traits beget fear and mistrust of others - Religion is fascist. Does not play the role of uniting people as it should. - living in high population low resource has caused people to embrace narcissistic traits to survive - Capitalism and consumerism encourages selfishness and narcissism. Stage Orange - when a human becomes progressively selfish, they also become progressively heartless. - moral decline and decline in heart values. Heart chakra very weak in most.

That's pretty harsh. And untrue also. Seems like you project a lot on those people. Everybody is projecting, everybody talks about his own experience, only a delusional/idiot/egoistic man will claim that his words are the Truth and his way is the Way. These people remind me of Trump (which they hate a lot for obvious psychological reasons) he just reminds them about their own ego. I don’t know man maybe there are people like that, but this “excitement of exploration” you mentioned is just the ego. Anyway, I’m not talking about an awakened individual who might go on a camping trip in some far out forest or mountain, I’m talking about the drugs users, they become deluded sooner or later.

Wrong. There is most certainly a personality type which is driven by the excitement of exploration, beings who are curious about the unimaginable ways in which consciousness can manifest and want to experience these manifestations for the joy of it no different than how an awakened individual may go on a camping trip in some far out forest or mountain. And just to clarify, at times the exploring can be quite painful and arduous. Exploring collective realms of suffering has nothing to do with pleasure states, although the fact of the exploring can be quite joyful.

@Chives99 Well, then I hope my death will be terrifying, painful, excruciating and full of grief and pain. Because that will remind me how fully I allowed myself to live. I am someone who has psychologically died many many times, probably hundreds of times. And every death was a painful moment of grieiving all that I have gained, and all that I have lost. And it only allowed me to be more alive than ever before, only preparing me for the next level of death, and next level of rebirth. That is how you live without denial, and that is how enlightenment teaches you how to live your life. Not in a way that avoids pain, such as you are suggesting here. No thank you, no need to avoid anything or anyone at all. I will take all the pain, say thank you very much, and allow it to rip me to shreads over and over, until nothing but the light of my consciousness remains smiling at me, from the after life that has dawned before the dying of my phyisical body. Thank you death for allowing my consciousnesss to enter this lifetime more awakened and conscious than I've ever been. Thank you.

Animals are probably already liberated. It may just be humans that have the apparent me illusion. If you’re referring to personal enlightenment/awakening, then yeah they probably aren’t ever awakened, but awakening in that way is not liberation in the ultimate sense.

@Frenk Or maybe some religion is awakened beings teachings written down by non-awakened beings & used to control people Who knows...

well it's hard to say as Eckhart Tolle says (i think) animals are basically below thinking, strategizing, plotting etc. and awakened humans are above it, so the animals would have to become thinking, contemplaiting etc. so that they could move above it or past it. animals are very present though and they live fully in the now

@LfcCharlie4 Oh no, I'm not referring to his Enlightement or Awakening. I mean mystical experiences, or at least mystical glimpses. He declared in one video he would get them when he was as young as when he was in primary school. I can't recall what exactly he experienced but it looked it was kind of some high awareness state when he would be the "observer" for the whole day. With 8 years old. Yeah, that's why I think using an example of someone who has awakened through meditation as a point to prove Psychedelics are not neccesarary is naive. Maybe the one who awakened thorough meditation had a very particular brain chemistry than most people brains don't.

I haven't ever been in states of consciousness more rewarding than that of letting go of suffering! And I can do it at any time! Maybe you're letting go of suffering only after the ego has a sense of accomplishment or similar. When you're living as blissfully as an awakened by realising how you create joy/energy and how you supress yourself from your full potential. Then it doesn't matter what you do with your mind or body because you won't be able to experience higher states of being. You just do what is needed for your survival and for the world, that's the most selfless way of living. No I don't have any life purpose yet. Will probably be to share my joy and do what's needed for the society, whatever that will be. I know the general direction of whats suits me as my life purpuse.

@No Self You have definitely raised some great points, I especially like the part about the communities, I feel a modern society alternative would be having the whole family involved, instead of living 100s of miles from your parents and immediate family. Im not planning on having children for probs a decade or two, nearer the two I imagine, but I do look forward to having a family, it’s always something I’ve wanted. Also, to play devils advocate to your point about sages- Rupert Spira, Francis Lucille, Sadhguru & my own teacher Ananda Devi all have children. I envisage as more awakened couples emerge & more awakened females, that “gurus” will start more families overall, just a prediction though!

This line is so beautiful. Yes why not. Suffering can bring huge shifts in consciousness, sometimes the levels that even enlightened gurus might not have experienced after deep practice. Whatever road you take, the soul needs to be awakened. That's the key. It doesn't matter how you reach this transcendence in life. It's always waiting for you anyway. Beautiful lines When a prostitute was stoned, Jesus said He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. There is such value in this sentiment. We judge others. Yet we don't judge our own judgement. Love can exist where it is made to exist, without boundaries, without conditions and without judgment.

It was on a half a tab of 250 UG. I'd say I awakened or was enlightened in that moment, but I'm most definetly not in that state now. It would be too paradigm shifting for me. I would rather have that happen to me when I'm properly mature and managing myself, full responsibilty. I am 19 years old, there are still many things to work on.