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Two years ago I contemplated suicide. Today I'm the most grounded, joyful and "alive" I've ever felt. I look back now on that time of immense darkness with nothing but love, for it created who I am today. Keep the faith, @Leilani. I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but one day you'll look back and see that what you're going through is all a gift in disguise. Remember that the universe works in mysterious ways. Thanks for sharing your heart. Love you.

I was wondering - why do some people who have discovered their purpose like Amy Winehouse and Anthony Bourdaine and Robin Williams etc get depressed and commit suicide anyway? Whats lacking there?

NO! There is nothing loving about killing oneself. Do not romanticize suicide. I do feel compassion for those who take their own lives away -- because it means that the pain was so intense that the person could not put up with it anymore. It is a tragedy. Seek help! Feel free to PM me if you feel like talking. How can you be so sure about that?!

What an opportunity for you right now! I too was at the lowest low before I had my first awakening. Also with what I labelled a “terrible childhood” where I was sexually abused. I was thinking about suicide quite seriously even looking up ways to do it. I was 43yrs old. Byron Katie and Eckhart Tolle also woke up whilst suicidal - Tolle at 29yrs and Katie at 43yrs. Theirs was instant enlightenment though. Their words and books have brought me out of another low this year and I share some of their words. “I discovered that when I believed my thoughts I suffered, but when I didn’t believe them I didn’t suffer and that this is true for every human being. Freedom is as simple as that. I found that suffering is optional.” Byron Katie “Life isn’t as serious as the mind makes it out to be.” Eckhart Tolle To realize that you are not your thoughts is when you begin to awaken spiritually. Eckhart Tolle Death is not the end of suffering if we die suffering. At the end of the day it doesn’t matter if you end this life or not. You’ll continue to come back until you fully wake up. Which will happen. It’s just whether it happens in this life time or not. I am editing this to add an answer to your actual question and the answer being that there is no loving way to end your life. Love would see you asking for help and receiving it. Even screaming out “Please help me”. This is love, to yourself and others.

There have been historical societies which venerated suicide - kamikaze in WWII springs to mind. But the consensus from Near-Death studies and spiritual texts is that a young person seeking to escape working through personal challenges via suicide will have to face them again in some other lifetime or other form. Hence, it cannot be advised (separate to the issue of voluntary euthanasia). And we are by no means here forever anyway. The best advice I can give is to 'die before you die'.

I can talk you through why I'm personally Anti-Lockdown / Against the nonsensical restrictions in the UK, I'll start with the restrictions. Personally, I think it goes a lot deeper, but Leo has made it clear 'Conspiracy Theories' are not allowed to be discussed on this forum, so I won't mention the deeper reasons. 10PM Curfew for Pubs- Lmao, this is probably the stupidest thing Boris (our PM) has ever done, all it creates is more- house parties, field parties, raves, crowded streets with zero security and social distancing, this will only heighten crime as well. Not to mention cripple the hospitality industry which has been shown to only be responsible for 5% of cases here, mostly of ages between 18-60, where the risk of dying is minimal. Also, if you go to one of these venues, you surely know the risks you are taking? Just cripples an industry for no reason really. 6 People Rule- Again, makes little sense to me why you can meet up with 5 friends but if you meet up with 6, you face a fine lol. Masks mandated in shops 24th July- At the 'peak' nobody wore masks, at the lowest the virus had been, suddenly they were mandated in shops, after our health advisor actually advised against wearing masks before this as in his words- ' the evidence shows they have little effect, and can actually do more harm than good in many cases.' Hm. New mask rule- This is the best one. You walk into a pub / bar etc with the people you're with, with your mask on, you get to the table and take it off, you then have to put them on again to leave the venue, just to take them off as soon as you're outside. Literal madness. Due to these new restrictions LOTS of people have turned their back on even listening to the Gov, and are not complying, even many police officers have said they have no way of enforcing most of these rules. Lockdown: Measures like this have NEVER been used for healthy members of a population, originally it was to protect the health service, but then continued for months afterwards. Now, people believe lockdown is the solution to this issue until a Vaccine comes, people forget we have a Vaccine for Flu and that still kills 100,000s a year. Asymptomatic Transmissions- https://www.theblaze.com/op-ed/horowitz-study-weak-asymptomatic-coronavirus-transmission , if anything it seems there is more chance of the virus spreading rapidly when a household member contracts it and everyone is cooped up inside, more so than passing someone for a few seconds when you are Asymptomatic. Remember, this was one of the basis for worldwide shutdown, without a true investigation into it. Destruction of small businesses & livelihoods- While trillion $ corporations have been thriving, small businesses are struggling more than ever, and this will likely be one of the worst recessions in a very long time. I feel if the population was asked at this point, most would be happy to open everything up, and those who wanted to shield themselves could do, and just limit contact between those leading normal lives, and the extremely vulnerable. The chances of dying for a healthy member of the working population is very minimal- Being realistic most people will not die from this, unless they have underlying health conditions / 75+ in age. Therefore, why are we not simply promoting natural health to the general public, what supplements to buy, best exercise routines, Wim Hof breathing, usage of Sauanas, etc etc? And, then protecting those it is actually dangerous for. I know the response will be 'but some 24 year olf who was perfectly healthy died of Covid' and, yes, I get that, but are those rare cases worth shutting down the world for? I can show similar examples of Flu deaths for perfectly healthy teenagers and young adults. Long term implications- In my opinion, the long term implications will cause far more suffering and problems than the virus will. I believe people often underestimate how much suffering & even death extreme poverty can cause, homelessness, mental health degeneration, suicides etc. If you think long term, I genuinely feel this could've been handled in a very very very different way to incoming economic doom that will lead to devastating effects in millions of people's lives. While suicides may not have doubled, they certainly have increased. We have had days in the UK where suicide has caused more deaths than Covid. That brings me on to my last point- Recalculation of deaths & testing issues- I have spoken to several Doctors at cricket, and read enough accounts of people stating how the Covid death figures are very generous. As in, you test positive Today, die of something completely unrelated in the next 28 days, and go down as a Covid death, or have stage 4 cancer, test positive for Covid, and again die 'of' Covid, even though, you were already dying. In regards to testing, the original inventor of the PCR test said his test should not be used in the diagnosis of infectious diseases, so why is it being regarded as the Gold standard? - https://www.weblyf.com/2020/05/coronavirus-the-truth-about-pcr-test-kit-from-the-inventor-and-other-experts/ This is without factoring in the lesser effects it is having on people, such as the extreme fear and anxiety. I know perfectly healthy 18-20 year olds who are afraid to leave their house & go for a walk still because of the Media & Social Media making this out to be WAY worse than it actually is. My mum for example has often said she doesn't know if she will ever go back to mixing with people and often feels live isn't worth living anymore. I don't see that maximization of Love & Consciousness. But, we all have different opinions on everything. Personally, I feel this should've been used as an opportunity for Governments to push healthier lifestyles, teach about nutrition on national levels, help people understand Vitamins & Minerals, learn about breathwork, learn how to boost your immune system naturally, while focusing on helping the Vulnerable & Elderly do the same & of course protecting them. But, at this stage, I don't think these restrictions are the solution for the vast majority of the population. My question to Pro-Lockdown folks, when does it all end? When we get a vaccine? When we get down to 0 cases? When we realize you can't suppress a virus forever. What about when there is spikes in years to come, do we continuously shut down the economy over winters? Are we going to do the same for Flu outbreaks? (50,000 excess deaths in 2018 from flu in the UK, but it never got mentioned) I'm sure you will all disagree with me, and call me 'low conscious' and selfish, or a murderer or whatever the latest insult is, but I just don't agree with quarantining healthy people, sorry, and think there are much smarter ways to deal with this. Instead of people actually evolving and becoming healthier, more conscious beings, people think a Mask & Vaccine is the be all, end all. While they continue to smoke, eat fast food, remain overweight and do nothing to improve their health, that is just very backwards to me. P.S. If anyone wants to have a chat about the deeper reasons behind all this, feel free to message me!

I always report him. It's over since July 2012! And I am like if you can't accept it you need a therapist. No therapist can help him because he doesn't take responsibility. He is a psychopath. Suicide is the only option for him. So I break in my own house? Really now? That bastard that is I think 50 years old still lives with his parents. It's 45 minutes drive to my house. My attitude was always.. When I don't like you I avoid you on every cost possible. I don't want to be surrounded with bullshit

A few random points to make. There was a viral post on Facebook claiming that suicide rates had doubled during COVID. And, you'll never believe this: it turned out to be fake news. There was no suicide increase. The point is that one has to be careful when making assumptions without looking at proper data. It should be OK to have reasoned debate on the topic, but unfortunately it will be difficult to present any anti-lockdown arguments without having one's position conflated with various selfish/irresponsible/misinformed fanatics who humiliate themselves daily. The main problem with COVID is the risk of a massive spike in cases as soon as control is lost. This is different from other forms of death that can be prevented with using existing knowledge. If the lockdown situation were hypothetically to continue for many years, then many of the anti-lockdown arguments would definitely gain mainstream acceptance. But we are not at that place yet.

@Leo Gura i attended a school in a not so good neibhorhood with lots of my friends from section 8 housings. After school programs, in school counseling & extra curricular activities saved many of these people from being a full time drug addicts headed down to crime & suicide. Fortunately the kids who are in bad shape were getting support in school.. not too sure how its going now but many of our schools especially in blue states have somewhat evolved from manufacturing 'another brick in the wall'

The suicide has nothing to do with the tax returns. Grifters

I have and still have some hppd. However it is treatable,mine is 60 percent better. I was also severely depersonalized. Idk if you know, but most ppl freak out, some even commit suicide. They should know there is help and meds available. Psychedelics can lead do death of brain cells and specifically the ones that produce gaba and inhibit brain signaling. Low levels of these neurons can cause epilepsy like symtoms, visual tripping and put you in hell.. But it subsides the brain is adaptive and deals with the mess.

Fuck that mystical shit that I said. I was high as a kite when I wrote that. And me being high fucked everything up in the first place. I held everything together until I decided to smoke a spliff. I will do what you said though. Yesterday she apologized for being emotionally closed off (although she wasn't) and that she forgot to text me when she arrived back home. Currently I'm stressed but not really stressed she didn't give me sex. She opened up a can of worms by dating me as an incel. Emotionally I feel attached to her because she pulled me out of my incel-hood. She is in no way long term gf material. I'm just emotionally fucked right now because this date put me out of complacency/apathy. I even had thoughts of suicide which is ridiculous, especially because she is no long term gf material.

Yeah! I'm still feeling that way. But without the suicide-part. Not sure if it's delusional or just spiritual awakening. There is really strong intuition that something massive is coming. Like everything around you is trying to point you towards yourself. The mind and the world are collapsing into one.

"What can happen if trump gets elected for 4 more years?" All speculation, but based on the path we're on.... Row V Wade revoked. Abortions illegal nation wide. Women's rights...gone. Obama Care revoked. Hundreds of millions of people without heath insurance. Millions will die and our government wont care. Separation of church and state revoked, America will be a Christian country. Christianity will be mandatory taught in schools. Anyone not Christian will be 'the enemy' and dealt with. People of color will be in more danger since the civil war. This is basically the South winning the civil war, just 140 years later. Black people will be rounded up and killed in the streets with no consequences. Possible Segregation laws revoked. Crash of the Economy. This will make the 'Depression' look like a walk in the park. Millions will starve, commit suicide, kill each other out of desperation. Rounding up and arresting of all political opposition. Rounding up and arresting of any opposition. Rise in Covid cases and deaths, with a government that doesn't care if its people die. Millions more will die before it's over. More laws protecting the Environment will be revoked, as more fossil fuels are produced to invigorate the failing oil companies. Accelerating Global Warming to ensure the destruction of us all. Rewriting the Constitution to ensure Republicans stay in power forever. Trump will hand over the rule of his Dictatorship to one of his sons. We will then have decades more of another Trump ruler. Free internet access will most likely be revoked, to stop the spread of dissenting information. Only pro-trump propaganda will be allowed to be seen by the public. Militarized police will crush any dissenting pushback of the people with deadly force. And that is all just the tip of the iceberg. Yes this is all speculation, but if you look at history, what is happening in other countries, and the way things have been going in our country, Trump will win, and it will be the end of our life as you know it. Don't think it can happen? Sorry to tell you, but it IS happening.

I've had psychotic symptoms after one really bad 5g trip. I thought I could handle them but guess I was wrong. It's actually a pretty scary story. The trip started good, learned a ton, had a breaktrough... But when I started to come down, I started to recieve advanced metaphysical teachings from a TV show that told me that I have to commit suicide. Freaked out completely. I was almost completely sure that I have to kill myself. It felt like everything I had ever learned about spirituality was actually pointing towards suicide. Yikes. Had to call an ambulance. The trip and delusions ended, but I was still scared shitless. Could not believe that something like this can happen. Some weeks later, the delusions came back. Started to recieve "signs" from TV, music, books etc. that told me that I have to kill myself. Got panic attacks, felt like suicide was "pulling" me towards it, kind of like when you are on a cliff or a rooftop and you feel a pull towards the edge. Feared that I might lose control over my body/mind and actually do it. Spent a week in hospital, took pills, and thankfully the delusions went away. Things are going better now, but there is still anxiety and some moments when I fear that the delusions might come back. I think I really have to face the fear of death to get over this. So in a sense, maybe it's a good thing. It forces me to go deep within and face my fears. It's been kind of rough because I'm really interested in reality/spirituality but it seems like at least for now, psychedelics are not a safe tool for me. I always wanted to be a psychonaut. It's been hard to let go of that identity/dream. @Leo Gura @Nahm Any thoughts/advice? Should I forget psychedelics for good or just wait a couple of years? There is a belief that I can't really achieve God-consciousness without psychedelics and it makes me sad. I really want to understand reality.

One thing i've noticed recently is how my resentment towards my parents is part of what's keeping me stuck. When i look at other people who are more successful and developed then i am, i think back to how i was raised and i blame my parents for me not being in a similar advantageous position. Even typing it it sounds stupid, i live in a little self contained bubble that allows for this kind of toxicity and delusoinal thinking. But it's true nonetheless. I wanted to be a great person, or at least have self esteem and self respect, quality relationships, and just a good life before i died. But here i am 25 going on 12, miserable, hermit, and doing nothing with my life. And i blame my parents for how i ended up like this. The worst part right now is that i feel like if i improve myself then i would be also doing something positive for my parents, But due to the hatred/resentment i don't want them to get that satisfaction so i end up punishing them and myself with this twitsted logic. It's funy because my parents do so much for me, especially my mom she tried her best for me and my brother to be succesful but we both ended up complete losers haha. I've developed this flat affect, sometime i just stare blankly into the open space while i feel my head. I've heard it's related to schizoid disorders. If i kill myself i wonder if i will get a better life. It would make no sense for god to punish itself for suicide, but then again it makes no sense for god to make itself miserable in this life time either. None of this shitt makes any sense, but given my present understanding i think suicide would be a disaster for future lives which is a main reason I don't really want to do it, but at the same i've basically completely given up on life so in some ways i'm already dead.

Why not live in comfort? The whole idea of comfort is foreign to me. This is because of my PTSD I have never felt a deep sense of comfort. I have always been thrown to the limits of despair. This has made the notion of comfort an alien to me. It's like I have to force myself to get some rest. Or else I will be working 24/7 like a maniac This obsession in me to work till my death on the desk is also a form of PTSD. I have been ingrained since childhood by my mother with the thought that I am Incapable, worthless and will never amount to anything in life. This sort of maternal abuse at an early age in my life, ages of 6 to 18, the most intense years of my maternal abuse have given me a permanent state of PTSD. Often times I don't sleep at all. I feel the need to keep working to prove to myself that I'm not as bad as my mother thought I was. This eternal need in me to seek the validation of a woman, a mother who never gave me a sense of closure, it drives me insane. The past few days I have been confronting this feeling. I never saw my mother resting. She would be working non stop. And in return I never learned how to rest myself. I was always made to think that comfort is a bad idea. These days I'm challenging that idea. Why not take comfort? Why not rest? A lot of this has to do with Self Destruction. The only way to deal with my childhood abuse was self destruction. I was a self destructing teen Cutting myself to release blood was a normal thing. Locking myself in a bathroom when I was 17 to get away from my mother's abuse was a daily thing. I used to play sad music, trying to vent my frustration and despair in an abusive environment Multiple suicide attempts. But all of it is just an endless cycle of self destruction. And I must say that I have come a long way from all of that. There has been tremendous progress in the past few years. A lot of it is psychological.

One of the best enlightened teacher, some of his words have given me great awakenings. I highly recommend reading through his book Yoga the alpha and omega. Read it here. Here are some quotes: "NOW THE DISCIPLINE OF YOGA" "YOGA IS THE CESSATION OF MIND" "Yoga is a jump into the unknown. It will not be right to say ”unknown”; rather, ”unknowable”." "Mind is activity" "THEN THE WITNESS IS ESTABLISHED IN ITSELF. IN THE OTHER STATES THERE IS IDENTIFICATION WITH THE MODIFICATIONS OF THE MIND." "Don't identify with the self." "Total hopelessness means now there is no hope. And when there is no hope there cannot be hopelessness." "Knowledge is the most subtle food for ego: you feel you are something. You know; you become somebody." "Yoga says ¨ and let it penetrate you very deeply because it will be very meaningful ¨C yoga says that the more you are impatient, the more time will be needed for your transformation. The more in hurry, the more you will be delayed. Hurry itself creates such a confusion that delay will result." "If you are infinitely patient, this very moment transformation can happen. If you are ready to wait forever, you may not wait even for the next moment. This very moment the thing can happen, because it is not a question of time, it is a question of your quality of the mind." "You have to drop into it, not to reach anywhere. And the dropping is possible only if you are totally patient." "In life everything is a rhythm. You are happy and then follows unhappiness. Night and day, summer and winter; life is a rhythm between two opposites. When you try to become aware the same rhythm will be there: sometimes you are aware and sometimes not. So don¡¯t create a problem, because you are such experts in creating problems that out of the blue you can create a problem. And once you have created a problem then you want to solve it. And then there are people who will supply you with answers. A wrong problem is always answered by a wrong answer. And then it can go on ad infinitum; then a wrong answer again creates questions. From the very beginning one has to be aware not to create a wrong problem. Otherwise the whole of life goes on and on in the wrong direction. Always try to understand not to create a problem. Everything pulsates into a rhythm, and when I say everything, I mean everything. Love, and there is hate; awareness, and there is unawareness. Don¡¯t create any problem: enjoy both. While aware enjoy awareness, and while unaware enjoy unawareness ¨C nothing is wrong, because unawareness is like a rest. Otherwise, awareness will become a tension. If you are awake twenty-four hours, how many days you think you can be alive? Without food a man can live for three months; without sleep, within three weeks he will go mad, and he will try to commit suicide. In the day you are alert; in the night you relax, and that relaxation helps you in the day again to be more alert, fresh. Energies have passed through a rest period; they are more alive in the morning again. The same will happen in meditation: few moments you are perfectly aware, at the peak; few moments you are in the valley, resting ¨C awareness has disappeared, you have forgotten. But what is wrong in it? It is simple. Through unawareness will arise again awareness, fresh, young, and this will go on. And if you can enjoy both you become the third, and that is the point to be understood. If you can enjoy both it means you are neither ¨C neither awareness nor unawareness, you are the one who enjoys both. Something of the beyond enters. In fact, this is the real witness. Happiness you enjoy ¨C what is wrong when happiness has gone and you have become sad? What is wrong in sadness? Enjoy it. And once you become capable of enjoying sadness, then you are neither. And this I tell you: that if you enjoy, sadness has its own beauties. Happiness is a little shallow; sadness is very deep, it has a depth into it. A man who has never been sad will be shallow, just on the surface. Sadness is like a dark night ¨C very deep. Darkness has a silence into it, sadness also. Happiness bubbles, there is a sound in it. It is like a river in the mountains; sound is created. But in the mountains, river can never be very deep; it is always shallow. When the river comes to the plain it becomes deep, but the sound stops. It moves as if not moving. Sadness has a depth. Why create trouble? While happy, be happy, enjoy it. Don¡¯t get identified with it. When I say be happy, I mean enjoy it. Let it be a climate which will move and change. The morning changes into the noon, the noon changes into the evening, and then comes night. Let happiness be a climate around you. Enjoy it, and then comes sadness... enjoy that too. I teach you enjoyment, whatsoever the case. Sit silently and enjoy sadness, and suddenly sadness is no more sadness; it has become a silent peaceful moment, beautiful in itself, nothing wrong in it. And then comes the ultimate alchemy, the point where suddenly you realize you are neither ¨C neither happiness nor sadness. You are the watcher ¨C you watch peaks, you watch valleys; you are neither. Once this point is attained, you can go on celebrating everything. You celebrate life and you celebrate death. You celebrate happiness, you celebrate unhappiness. You celebrate everything. Then you are not identified with any polarity. Both the polarities have become available to you together, and you can move from one to the other easily. You have become liquid-like, you flow. Then you can use both, and both can become a help into your growth. Remember this: don¡¯t create problems. Try to understand the situation, try to understand the polarity of life. In summer it is hot, in winter it is cold ¨C so where is the problem? In winter enjoy cold, in summer enjoy heat. In summer enjoy the sun; in the night enjoy the stars and the darkness, in the day the sun and the light. You make enjoyment your continuity, whatsoever happens. In spite of it you go on enjoying. You try it, and suddenly everything is transfigured and transformed."

A part of doing the work should be finding real-world tangible actions you can take to reduce the effect of your fear. The list of actions comes after finding your life purpose. I have ten of them; my safety switch is knowing if everything goes irreversibly wrong, I can always book a plane and live in a monastery. Leo just shared this video on the blog: Those are some next-level monks. Instead of committing a suicide, I invite you to come with me. We'd live there together, browsing the forum still and diving deep.

In my view, LP is the only way. I might have some isssues Im unaware of, but when I picture 2/3s of my life in a cubicle doing meaningless work I think about living in a van or suicide. @Nahm Im not sure I understand what you mean with "isness" and, yes, I know what I desire but it seems unreachable.. Thats what kills my soul a little.. Question is, why do I have visions which are very unreachable, is it to have an unreachable carrot in front of my face, is it some type of shadow ?

@Leo Gura I don't want to sleep with hundreds of super models at all. In fact I don't give a shit about that. If that is the cost than tell me why 95% of guys don't approach hundreds of girls and still manage have an average sex life. I see it happening in other people, opportunities for relationships just present themselves magically. Its something I don't see happening in my life. You are thinking surprisingly Materialistic on this point, like if the Universe is just "atoms bouncing around randomly" like you often say. Having trouble with relationships is just not part of most peoples Dharma, they didn't come here to struggle half their life getting into relationships, they have other lessons to learn so this is a minor part that sorts itself out. But it is such a central theme in my life that this was probably not a mistake, its part of my Dharma, the suffering I have chosen to go through as as a catalyst. I may have to overcome it through meditation, approaching girls, maybe it will bring me to the edges of suicide or maybe it just sorts itself out once it has shaped me into who I should become. We will see.

@Dario1995 I stopped on the 24 hours mark. When going about doing these intense practices, you need time to pray and meditate on a full scale, which is not possible now. Healing occurred, nevertheless. Anything done unresponsibly means suicide. Take care, too!

A prayer for Daisy Coleman God, on 4th August, a lovely angel left this world Her name was Daisy Coleman She was a brave warrior, a soldier of hope She was a candle of hope for all victims of rape She was a brave force against the forces of rape culture on campus She fought bravely for the liberation of women Her spirit was made of iron and steel She not only fought the rape condoning culture but also fought online bullies who tried to silence her voice. Today I light a candle in her name A prayer to you to take care of her brave spirit She is finally free from all the forces that tormented her Her suicide is not in vain, because she will be immortalized as the warrior of women to stand up against rape and injustices to women May her soul rest in peace. Amen.

Well, it that case I agree they're overused @neutralempty I read the whole article. Example Correlation doesn't mean causation. Many studies may be incorrectly interpreted assuming correlation is causation examples are the studies listed mentioning peoples worse outcomes in X years if they were medicated vs not, but this doesn't take into consideration that it's the most depressed people that are more likely to try antidepressants since in the first place so the group of medicated people is biased in the direction of the most genetically predisposed to severe, long depressions. Another example is this It's very possible that as mental health awareness increases and shaming around this topic decreases, more and more people are reaching out for help so of course there will be more mentally Ill patients diagnosed Antidepressants are also much more effective in severe cases of depression (so actual serious MDE like I mentioned before) so yes if it is the case that people that just kind of not feeling ok, goto a doctor, and they are immediately put on SSRI's, that's a problem in my opinion. The thing is - everybody with depression only partially responds. I mean, are they expect depression to completely disappear from antidepressants? That doesn't happen. Again, antidepressants are a tool in a toolbox to cope with depression not to cure it. @Leo Gura My father was anti-antidepressants too and eventually, he got severely depressed, refused to take them, and committed suicide. My whole family is genetically vulnerable to depression/anxiety. My aunt just took antidepressants when she got severely depressed and now years later she's doing ok even after withdrawal. I myself might not be writing this post if not antidepressants because I would commit suicide when my depression/anxiety spiked, I even had mild mild psychosis just from depression. I think a lot of the people that criticize antidepressants (as much as they suck) fail to see that alternative is simply even worse in many cases. It's similar to how some people criticize chemotherapy, you know it destroys your body literally but the alternative of not doing chemo is even worse, I know it sucks life is hard.

One perspective is after the enlightenment imagine Sisyphus happy. https://medium.com/@mustaphahitani/camus-suicide-and-imagining-sisyphus-happy-bec124dad750