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One has to wonder also if his ego mind is the only one... Wouldn't enlightment be harder to achieve? Hidden? Wouldn't every enlightened person become instantly depressed after this realization? Imagine a monk and the Buddha. The monk becomes enlightened and asks the Buddha: Monk:Buddha I'm the only one, it's only me? Buddha:Yes it has always been you. Monk:How depressing. I want to forget again. Might as well just suicide. Buddha:You can't die you only change forms. Monk:Damm. And why would people promote Nirvana, Heaven,God realization if it is so bleak? It doesn't make sense honestly. Wouldn't all this stuff not exist if the ego mind is the only one? All i wanted i guess was the Christian heaven lol. I got something much weirder and scarier while searching for this so called "God". You can't run away from yourself i guess.

@Erick On March 26, 1997, police discovered the bodies of 39 members of the Heaven’s Gate religious group who had committed mass suicide in order to reach what they believed was an alien space craft following Comet Hale–Bopp. All members were dressed in dark clothing and Nike sneakers. https://qph.fs.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-7781c72ee667fd7c818b31e28b40913b If you know what i mean lol Maybe they astral-projected and made it...

My Opinion: From what I have seen and understood. Not all enlightened have same experiences of enlightenment. Some may experience absolute absence profoundly, some experience absolute presence with everything being one. Some experience both. Some never experience Prema(Unconditional Love) aspect of it(Best example U.G.Krishnamurthi - In one of his videos denied love as an aspect of enlightenment). Some may not get any special insights(What people call as spontaneous knowledge downloads). We hear stories of yogis, saints and sages who although preach non-duality, have lived through many lives through eons of time through multiple various realities. Yet, Most of the Non-Dualers in recent times having never experienced any of the infinitude of most wonderful creations in this (un)reality, seem to commit permanent suicide of merging into Brahman. Non-Dual realization when attained prematurely without proper mental preparation and without equal knowledge of both duality and non-duality, will make one talk like a robot with no feelings, rejecting duality like a plague. Who knows, may be after realising non-duality, one can also learn how to bring ego back again willfully, going in and out of duality with full control. Thus by extending the karmic cycle and experiencing myriad of experiences in various realms in various times, with very little suffering. Why give up individuality? I know there isn't any self to do the willing, but isn't that the same kind of impossibility for a ego self to realize and understand non-duality and yet the non-dual states are achieved(Impossible is attained). Similarly there may be a way to achieve dual-egoic identification once again from non-dual states as well. Who knows, in an imaginary dream reality anything should be possible, for Brahman has no restrictions.

Note: I'm not enlightened. My knowledge is scriptural, and as such is only intellectual. Dear @gswva Because of law of karma(Tendencies, conditioning, behavioural patterns, Influences from others & society, etc..) - Once every bit of karma is burnt off including prarabhdha and there is no individuation any more, that'll be the end of that individual. Karma is that fuel which keeps individuation going on. Karma is generated through identification with the body / mind. Any form of identification which is of the nature of ego with the sense of doer-ship creates karma. As long as there is a karmic(cause & effect) chain binding you to some reality, your individuality is safe. Because, even if you get enlightened, the Prarabhdha Karma - 'The fructified karma which determines the experiences of current life' will not get dissolved until the current body dies. Because if it did, the body along with individuation would die the very moment enlightenment happens due of lack of any binding mechanism(karma) to bind it to duality. As to how the initial karma gets generated, there are varying opinions. I have some speculation on it. But, because of lack of direct experience, not so sure about it my self. Also, not sure even if enlightenment might make you understand it. Perhaps samyama on karma might help understand it. Brahman doesn't split into anything. The apparent world is just a projection with-in Brahman - like water seen in a mirage. Even when the projection is happening, there is no change in Brahman(Just like a mirror, even though showing the entire world with-in itself, doesn't change its own state). These projections will keep happening with infinite realities with infinite Jiva(s)(living entities) emerging out and dissolving continuously. But, any PARTICULAR ENTITY with its own 'ego and experiences' having once merged into Brahman will never come back again. "But, I am of the opinion that even after such merging, if prompted by some agency in duality, which has knowledge of said individual, that individual or even a whole reality of a universe can be brought back". There is no self in Brahman. Brahman DOESN'T 'WILL' or 'WISH' to create anything(Willing and wishing are only for the creatures with a 'mind and ego' with-in duality. Brahman is beyond such concepts and is beyond Duality). Just like wetness and fluidity are intrinsic to water; Similarly, the nature of reflecting 'mirage like projections' of realities with-in itself is intrinsic to Brahman. Such projections are what we refer to as 'Creation / Universe'. Brahman has infinite of such Creations / Universes with-in itself. Each of such universes exist within the mind of an individuated atomic-particle(Jiva - PRIMARY CREATION) of Brahman as an imagination/dream-like-projection with-in that Jiva(living entity) - whom we call as god or creator of that universe. These jivas are like mirages without any separate existence apart from Brahman. Cosmic universes(SECONDARY CREATION) experienced with-in Jivas are like water seen in that mirage. (Mirage and Water-seen-in-it are both in truth Non-Existent). (Scriptural Description along with my *own opinion* to clarify the Scriptural Description): With-in each such universe/reality, infinite other universes/realities are created by the jivas who have died in it *and are creating them through mental projection in their after life states / In states of deep meditation, either conciously or unconciously(Just like we do in our dreams). Some of those projections may intermingle with one another and function as one single universe/reality, with many such intermingled universes/realities in existence. While some completely isolated from others as separate universes/realities. Having once come into existence, being supported by Brahman; these universes/realities continue to exist even after the destruction of its parent universe i.e change in state of that jiva or liberation of that jiva who is projecting the parent universe with-in the higher order reality. * With-in each of them, infinite other universes/realities exists. This cycle goes on ad-infinitum with-in them. We are living in one such reality/universe, whose nature is that which we experience in it. That's why reality as a whole is NOT JUST INFINITE IN SINGLE DIMENSION. BUT, INFINITE IN INFINITE DIMENSIONS. If you are to write it is as a mathematical equation, you can write its as Infinity(Infinity(Infinity(Infi.....))))))... infinitely. Not all experiences are neutral, There are literally infinity of experiences that can be had, ranging from suffering, to neutral, to unimaginably exotic realities, full of joy and happiness, stimulating all kinds of emotions and blissfulness with infinite variety to infinite degree. Because, Brahman is not limited by anything as it is the very source of everything. The human body/mind cannot grasp all of these realities from its current state, for it may not even have the faculties necessary to experience such states. No experience is permanently the same. Even with-in same reality experiences keep changing. "Just as karma, such is experience". Infact, some devotional schools of Bhakthi path doesn't even like Non-Dual liberation, and it is considered by them as a permanent suicide. The devotees after attaining a liberation of a dual type, experience going to imaginary heavenly abodes(one of the universes/realities mentioned above) of their imaginary gods(which are experienced as real - Just like this imaginary reality by us) and enjoy heavenly delights with no trace of any suffering, which is far more exotic and enjoyable than any earthly existence. For this reason, not everyone wishes to dissolve their individuation. So, Non-Duality is not the only game in town. May be after Non-Dual enlightenment, one need to learning how to develop purified ego once again to furthur generate more sattva karma to keep the individuation intact. Even Ramana Maharishi who taught Non-Duality worshipped Arunachaleshwara. Ramakrishna Paramahamsa who taught non-duality to Swami Vivekananda worshipped Kaali. But, what type of liberation they attained I do not know. My Opinion: To maximise life's potential and blissfulness and swim constantly in variety "Non-Duality is to be Realised and Individuation is to be Maintained".

"Those who want to live, let them fight, and those who do not want to fight in this world of eternal struggle do not deserve to live." - Adolf Hitler, a man who committed suicide after failing to win a war and plunging the world into an era of darkness

@DocWatts Thanks! I recently read Diamond's "The World Until Yesterday" which was a good read. My sense from Collapse (watched his TEDTalk) is that he's focusing on relatively small societies compared to the entire United States or the globalized world as a whole, which doesn't make his conclusions any less valid just interesting to think about how these issues could or may scale up, and the impacts of that. It would be interesting to do a study on what Spiral Dynamics level these societies were at when they collapsed...I'm guessing mainly Red and Blue. Red not thinking ahead and committing suicide in the name of power. Blue being stubbornly stuck in its ways and refusing to adapt/innovate. Partly why Trump has been so frightening as a leader during this increasingly fragile moment in human history. My hope is as Western countries progress into late Orange, Green and even Yellow, that real changes can finally begin to materialize. Green can bring the impassioned need for environmental solutions, Orange can meet the demands via cutting-edge innovation and quick thinking, and Yellow can holistically implement and manage the massive and surely disruptive shifts. Of course, this is a plausible reality but also potentially wicked naive and overly optimistic - I concede that. But, hey, let's give it all we got, no?

The tale of the Wendigo The strange death of Gaurav Tiwari The mysterious tragic murder death of Debby Constantino and husband caused by invaded spirits during their ghost adventures Cases discussed in the video. 1. The mysterious deaths of Sonny Graham and Terry Cottle, heart transplant case. 2. Carissa Glen mysterious haunting and suicide. 3.The pollock family mystery. Jacqueline and Joanna and Jennifer and gillian. The Pollock sisters 4.Room 428 of Wilson Hall 5.the strange solving of the murder of Teresita Basa by her own spirit beyond the grave The demonic possession and exorcism of Maurice Frenchy Theriault. The phenomenon of spontaneous human combustion MK Ultra glitch and glitch in the matrix NBA player Draymond Green stare. The mystery of the Babushka lady

Shieeet... I want to jump off the bridge. I mean, I WANT TO JUMP OFF THE FUCKING BRIDGE! I had been riding my bicycle to work before and every damn morning I just looked down and wanted to jump, freefall is so seductive. They say it's over 15 meters, which means that my speed will be over 60 kilometers per hour on landing after around 2 seconds of freefall. The river is wide, I don't swim like a pro but I have a friend with a boat. I need to check the depth of the river, check if the bottom is clean and find a lower place to train my landing technique and estimate if 15+ meters is a good idea with as little experience as I have. I'm also guessing if it is good with the local society, I don't want to become a celebrity here, LOL. And I need to wait for the next summer to figure out all the details of that deliberately failed suicide.

Money is the root cause of a lot of evil in the world. Money creates tension, stress, people who don't have enough money commit suicide, money creates division in family. Money makes man selfish and greedy. Money has taken so many lives. Money gives hope and money takes hope Many people lost their lives because of money. Money created differences and status between people. Money removed Equality Money created the seeds of division in humanity.

I remember being called a failure by my mom growing up even if I was a straight A student. Typical pathetic stupid Asian culture where you have to impress your parents no matter what. Where if you are born you have no freedom as a child. You are a slave to your parents. You do what your parents tell you to do. I grew up with a strict mother who would lash out at me, hit me on my head if I didn't do what she demanded out of me. Asian upbringing is horrendous. It's a cultural trauma. It's generational trauma. Parents treat you like toys. China is no different from India. Similar cultures. Same parent worshipping bullshit. There are children in China who commit suicide because they can't meet their parent's expectations. There are millions of children in India who commit suicide every year because they can't meet their parent's expectations It's a plague. A mental plague. I feel for these children. We should be born free. One of the main reasons why I didn't want kids because I didn't want my child to say to me "mum I can't deal with the pressure of studies" It's ridiculous. To bring children into this world and let them suffer so that you can make money out of them, it's ridiculous. Children are not your slaves. They are not your lottery tickets. Ever wonder why these countries always have the biggest populations. Because of greed. Stupid Greed that parents push on children

Yea I need deeper therapy but right I can't afford that. So I just vent my frustration in a journal as a therapy My boyfriend and I are not on talking terms right now because the last time he was at my place, I wasn't feeling well and that didn't go very well with him. I became despondent after that. So I am not talking to him. Neither is he. My mom is incredibly frail now. It seems she has stopped eating for some reason and she doesn't want to take meds anymore. She constantly says that she doesn't want to live anymore. That's hard on me. Even though she abused me all my childhood, I don't want her gone. I have siblings who cut ties with me and my mom long ago. And my dad passed away in 2009. I was very young at that time. My siblings are rich, they can afford treatment for my mom but they don't want to spend a dime for her. I tried calling them for help but they hung up. I tripped while walking and got my leg injured 2 weeks ago. Since then I'm unable to walk. Walking has become a big struggle. And the doctor said that it would take a long time for it to heal, maybe six months or more. So I walk with a stick. So now things are getting harder for me than before. I'm basically sick of living. Last week I called my boyfriend and I told him about my problems and he called me a coward, a schizophrenic, a pussy and a bunch of other names. Because I was feeling suicidal. I had tried to cut myself. I wasn't able to deal with anything anymore. I didn't know how to act happy when I was completely hopeless from inside.. I can't do that. You know I'm just me.. I can't put a lid on my emotions. I need emotional release because i feel better after that. I just have to be authentic. Pretending or hiding is not going to help. It's not my fault if I am in a bad emotional state because of my past trauma. It's PTSD. It shows up even if I don't want it to exist. So I feel like maybe he can't deal with me anymore and maybe I shouldn't blame him because maybe I'm too much for someone to deal with because of my trauma But I felt like he could have at least been sympathetic rather than coming across as very judgemental I have realized that people don't understand someone with trauma and they blame them for their suffering and this doesn't help, it only makes things worse. So past few days I've been feeling like shit. I turned to Satanism and the non judgemental nature of this religion kinda made me feel better and less of a failure. I try to be my best self but I get hated immensely when my flaws show up. I can't be perfect in a world where you are expected to be perfect as a woman. I can't do that. So I'm like fuck this world. I have been ruminating on the state of the world and how pathetic the world is and greedy the world is. I'm sick of this judgemental zero compassion world. Few days back I received the news that a friend from school committed suicide. This completely shattered me. I just hate this world now even more. I have been driven off the edge and this is not the first time. For past few days I have been thinking about how people get sucked into the chaos of this world and end up losing their life and other people just judge them as cowards and weak. Nobody tries to understand their pain I woke up from a dream last night and I was sweating in fear when I woke up, in the dream I was standing on the edge of a building and trying to jump off, convincing myself this world is no good and has no place for real people like me. Then I wrote this post in my private journal when I woke up and it made sense to me "It's a terrible world. You have to be able to confront reality, rather than deny it. It's a bad place you know. It's a terrible world. It's not made to help people to bring them up, it's made to watch them suffer and so many people suffer in a dirty, disgusting, perverted, deranged, horrible, sick, hateful, heartless world in which people suffer and others who are heartless, they watch them suffer, This world is a very depraved place. " I have begun to feel that life is pointless. If there is any meaning to life, it's only because I injected meaning into it. I have been getting all these dark thoughts about the world but it seems like it is making sense.. Because I don't want to deny reality any more.

What little compassion people have towards someone who commits suicide I have heard people call them weak, cowards and pussies.. No. They are not weak. They died because they suffered. It's important to show them compassion instead of judging them. That's why I don't like this world.

I have created my own little subculture that will deal with the idea of evil and suffering and tie it with Satanism. I will call it Grimreeth. It will deal with the idea of evil and Suffering, sadness and failure/despair. What will it consist of Idea of evil Concept of evil Evil themes Satanist ties Suffering, both personal and general Solution for suffering Embracing and acceptance of suffering Finding stability and motivation through the suffering Death, loss, suicide, evil, sin, trauma, grief, despair, misery Pathos Venting out Daily positivity and recharging Healing. Daily healing Sad poetry and songs and sad art, sad music, any art form with elements of sadness Dark Gothic themes tied to Satanism Ways to tackle evil Ways to cope with evil Ways to cope with suffering Solutions and Approaches to Suffering Finding hope when you are dealing with bad situations Finding peace in the middle of chaos Understanding evil influences Liberating oneself from life and its problems and judgement

Approach to suffering One thing to remember is that you are always a winner, no matter what. Because you are always you. The fact that you endured so much and keep enduring is a testament of your passion and strength. So even if your life was cut short, you are not in vain. You are loved and appreciated whatever way you are Do not be upset that you couldn't get what you wanted. Life is a litany of unfinished businesses. Nothing is truly lost. Don't think that you need to regret something or regret the suffering. Your sufferings are also your medals. Your yearnings are also your medals. Your faith is also a medal. Your soul is a reward in itself. Even if you couldn't create the life you wanted, one thing that the world is powerless in controlling is your soul. Your soul is an infinite space and repository of infinite imagination and creation. Create whatever you want in your soul. It's effect is a permanent imprint. The problem of suicide. I have often wondered if suicide is the ultimate solution for everything. Then I think about God's love I wish religion wasn't so persecuting Religion should be more of a refuge and less of a babble on morality. That's one reason that drew me to Satanism. In Satanism there was a certain kind of freedom that religion didn't allow

It's quite cheap and sustainable financially even without a high paying job to buy or rent a small run down cabin outside a quite rural town, and renovate it a tiny bit so it's not awful. Only head back for basic supplies and groceries every month or so. Grow your own food, fix/build things yourself, use solar and wind for power, well water, etc. It's a good option if you didn't want to work for many years at a time or permanently retire. You'd just have to save enough money or have enough passive income investments to give you a few hundred or about a thousand dollars a month, or just break even depending on your savings. Depending on how stringent you are with your budget you actually don't need THAT much money. You can probably get by on less than $5000-8000 a year. It's very possible to do that you just have to be radical with how many material things you're willing to give up. This is basically the isolated lifestyle you're seeking. You aren't ever going out to buy dinner or pay for concerts and stuff like that. This is what true solitude means. You are sitting around all day meditating, contemplating, doing chores, swimming, hiking etc. Completely free activities. If my relationship ever falls through or if I become extremely unhappy with normal life that's probably what I will do. I don't really care much or feel obligated to participate in this absolutely rotten society, or let alone bothered dealing with other people or family generally really. Most people are so broken and low consciousness anyways that it's exhausting to play into the illusion in the first place. In a way I highly regret getting into this work and learning the things I have learned. To be honest if given the chance I'd be quite tempted to trade my place and be someone else that's completely blind, oblivious, and ego driven. Ignorance is bliss as they say, they aren't lying either. If I got bored enough of that lifestyle and didn't feel enough motivation to go back to normal life I'd very likely commit suicide and leave all my things to my sister.

As a child, I used to dream of leaving this world. My first suicidal ideation was when I was 14. I thought it would be so nice if I walked towards an ocean and disappeared into the waves and nobody would see me and all the pain would be over forever. That was a better way of ending myself But I have come to realize that it's not suicide that I want, but FREEDOM. I wanted freedom from this existence, or in other words I did not want my existence to be this way. I wanted freedom from suffering. I think most people who commit suicide also want the same, freedom from their pain. Suicidal ideation was a huge part of my existence. I sometimes wondered why there were barricades raised on bridges. Why weren't people allowed to jump? It's their life, their will. If they wanted freedom, then why should they be stopped? Ethically and morally, the only person who can have the right to end their life is the person itself. How and why can the world decide if they should live or not. Isn't the right to live the most basic right, then why not the right to die? So if this life is a hell, we are not even allowed to escape it? Why to save a person who doesn't want to be saved? Anyway, this is all an afterthought... I have tried cutting myself several times. All it does is leave scars. I want a rebirth.

I need your help to assemble a list of juicy Stage Purple examples! List of Stage Purple Values: The tribe/clan, community Family & tribal bonds, blood relationships Living together, contribution to the tribe Group activities, group celebration Honor Humility Self-sacrifice Respecting elders, ancestors, customs Taboos and customs Ritual, ceremony Mother nature, harmony Magical powers Spirit realm, spirit deities Mystery Mystical intuition Rites of passage Sacred objects & places Traditional music & dance Myth, sharing stories Retaining ancestral and tribal memory Reciprocity, sharing, cooperativ-interdependence Warding off evil spirits Cursing/hexing one’s enemies Psychic powers Out of body travel Respect of elders for their wisdom & experience Wisdom of the elders Family relics and heirlooms Religious medals, lucky charms Sacred words Stage Purple Examples: Carlos Cataneda’s Don Juan, Amazon tribes, African tribes, Indonesia tribes, Native Americans, Middle East, New Guinea, Bosnia, the Zulu, Bwiti, Hawaiian culture, Indian culture, Arab culture, Japanese Shinto religion, Tibet, rural China, Afghanistan, Aborigines, Maori, Pocahontas, shaman, medicine man, Avatar: Na’vi, Legend of Zelda, Patapon, Turok, Dances With Wolves, The Medicine Man, the noble savage, ancient mythology, voodoo, witchcraft, curses & hexes, animal sacrifice, gift economy, sharing resources, paganism, cannibal tribes, sun worship, animal-human hybrids, animal gods & spirits, ethnic cleansing, the paleolithic, cave paintings, Stone Henge, Ubuntu: I am because we are, suicide bombing, Kamikazi, human sacrifice, eating enemies, chanting & drum music, herbal medicine, Ayurveda, acupuncture, Qi, shrines, totem poles, ayahausca, peyote, saliva, mushrooms, datura, iboga, amanita muscaria, sweat lodges, vision quests, tribal tattoos, the evil eye, magical healers, ancient burial grounds, knocking on wood, lucky rabbit’s foot, black cats, prayer altars, Day of the Dead, Halloween, urban legends, fertility goddesses, astrology, fortune cookies, folk tales, fairy tales, Maneki-neko, graffiti, gypsies, face paint, symbolic costumes, secret handshakes, mating ceremonies, dowries, blood oaths, communal eating, missionaries in tribes, burial rituals, small company work environment, the Sacred Tree of Life, Don Miguel Ruiz: The 4 Agreements, The Alchemist, Teotl

So you're recommending suicide?

Just to let you know beforehand - this post is written by hardcore full-time seeker - 14 hours of consciousness work daily for past 5 years with 150 psychedelic GOD awakenings and Infinite Love awakenings on 5-MeO-DMT and others. I do not expect any advice from you for my situation - because I came to conclusion that no advice of the "internet gurus" has ever worked for me. I wrote this post just so you could show some empathy to people like me - seekers who are STUCK in the middle, in the dead zone - between the Matrix and Liberation. And being stuck in the middle of those two for years/lifetime creates MORE suffering than average human life spent as an average unconscious Joe. My life is actually worse than Leo's life according to his health video in his Insights Blog (https://www.actualized.org/insights/my-health-situation) . I am in pain, experiencing many psychological and physical illnesses since my childhood. Everybody should realize that Life is massive Suffering even after many awakenings. Like many of you, I came into the spirituality because I wanted to ease my suffering AND have less thoughts OR at least stop being identified with them AND be "immune" to pain AND to know my true nature AND to experience experience Unconditional Love in everyday life - not just in psychedelic trips. 5 years of hardcore spirituality later, my suffering has actually increased AND number of thoughts has actually increased AND identification with thoughts is pretty much the same AND my sensitivity to pain has dramatically increased AND I have had only 2 sober spontaneous experiences of Unconditional Love which lasted only 1 minute. After many of my temporary awakenings I came to conclusion that I am the GOD IDIOT, here's why: My life in a nutshell: 0.006 % Gods Divine Love 1 % pleasure from orgasm, eating 99 % suffering in boredom/meaninglessness, suffering from thoughts, personality disorders, anxiety, depression, inner-conflicts, needs, desires, pain, work, insomnia, extreme noise sensitivity etc. I am a God Idiot because after 5 years of full time consciousness work I was not able to cure any of my disorders. I am powerless god. Hopeless God. God is LIMITED idiot because he can't switch off useless "pain signals" in the body. OF COURSE pain signals were useful in caveman days, but nowadays they have outlived their usefulness YET there is NO WAY to turn them off (I am a highly sensitive person - I feel pain 5x stronger than average human) The GOD is RENDERING this creation and that is pretty much the ONLY thing that's doing great! God is UNLIMITED when it comes to rendering stuff. Rendering feelings etc... Rendering this colorful 4D scene. BRAVO! He is doing that perfectly. His mechanism of "no-mechanism" is PERFECT. But the scene is full of suffering. The Mind is actually Alpha version pre-realesed too early and most of human perspectives are in suffering mode thanks to shitloads of inner conflicts created by inner beings/thoughts or "external" stimuli. God is the biggest idiot out there - Since in this day and age more than 98% of human perspectives are led by ego-identity and for most of them THERE IS NO WAY OUT (remember - I have tried to get out for 5 years full-time) There's NO WAY OUT because there are infinite lives... So suicide is not an option - my idiotic creation is made the way that I will be always reborn into suffering again and again. Life IS. And this statement implies suffering in it. NO WAY OUT. Life is and always will be. Whatever IS - is prone to suffer. I am a God idiot - because THERE IS NO "SAFETY VALVE" Impermanence is actually not "SAFETY VALVE", it's not a positive feature like Leo said in impermanence video. Impermanence IS an "error", because God is idiot who wasn't capable of creating creation with 100 percent SOBER divine love without colors, feelings, thoughts and without the need for using psychedelics to remember himself in trip just for few seconds. OF COURSE I used to be a 5-MeO-HERO who experienced Gods Divine Love 150 times on psychedelic only to forget it few minutes later. Why? Because this Creation is created by Me God Idiot, who is NOT IN CONTROL of making use of those divine insights into everyday reality ... Remember there is no control and no one in control. And no one in control of liberating from suffering into "awakened state" !!! It's based on pure luck... It is a lottery. The Grand God Idiot's Lottery! That's why there are actually life-long seekers who seeks liberation from suffering but how many actually get liberated? How many of the seekers get enlightened? 3 percent? So this hell creation is punishment for myself. Why? Just cause! I do not know... God is idiot because there is NO WARRANTY that evolution will make humans more happy. What if people 5000 years ago were a lot more happy than today's industrial society? There is no warranty for better future. YES there are channeled books from higher beings in higher dimensions who say that there is some thing called ascension and in 1000000 years you will ascend higher or whatever, but what if that is just a dogma? You can't be sure of that. I am LIMITED crippled God because I have NO CONTROL over the creation - I can't "dream" stuff or positive emotions into existence and maintain them 24/7 and I am very VERY limited in manipulating reality - maybe even totally powerless - because I have no control over my thoughts, hormones, disorders, life experiences, brain chemicals etc... LoA people are proof of that. Under any LoA video on youtube there are comments like: I can manifest ANYTHING!!! - yeah right, those "omnipotent" fools who say they can manifest anything only to find out they have a tumor year later and die. I have personally known 2 of those people. To intelligent person it's obvious that they can only manifest themselves stuff like cars and money, which is normal part of life and working hard. No need to call that woo-woo Law Of Attraction. All of them say you are God and can manifest anything - so why their life is suffering? Why are they still working at McDonald's? Why they have incurable illnesses? Why those fools don't make themselves live up to 200 years of age full of wealth and health? Or feed all starving children in Africa. Or heal ALL corona patients in one day ... They're a joke. And anyone who believes that "You are Creator of your own reality" is a joke. You have very limited - I would say Zero control over the reality. Just contemplate "What is a decision" and observe your experience carefully. I am a GOD IDIOT because I have Zero control over my thoughts. I have ZERO control of: WHAT my next thought gonna be WHEN my next thought gonna be AND I have ZERO control of decision made based on thought content. I am God idiot because my alpha-version buggy Mind (thoughts) is prone to be stuck in loops of negative thinking FULL OF INTERNAL CONFLICTS between inner archetypes. Not just thought loops. I know people stuck in depressive, anxiety, OCD loops for their whole life. No techniques or medications work for them. I am God idiot who is not in control of his "level of vibration" ... God is idiot because his creation is CHAOS. Chaos implies suffering. Some say that reality is not suffering, but my interpretation of reality creates suffering. Oh man believe me I HAVE TRIED... Full-time... God is limited idiot because any psychedelic or other "peak experience" won't last more than few minutes AND there's a tolerance or harmful addiction or basically "The higher you fly, the harder you fall". In conclusion - Experiences of God's divine love actually made my everyday life more miserable - they showed me something I'm incapable to experience on sober daily basis. My 5-MeO Omnipotence experiences are totally useless AND those experiences gave me a false hopes / false HEALING hopes for my illnesses... Nothing good came out of them... BTW I wanted to teach spirituality... Like Leo, I wanted to wake people up from their illusions... Praising 5-MeO as well. Like Leo I have read almost all spiritual books under the sun. Like Leo - I became "Insight Hunter" ... Only to find out later that insights/peak psychedelic experiences actually made my life worse. Revealing "secrets" of existence is making everyday life "negatively" meaningless. YES - meaninglessness that I experience is not neutral, it's negative. Massive contemplative lifestyle stripped my life of compulsory illusions. Human NEEDS his illusions to live normal life... To be able to relate to other people in the matrix, to be social... To enjoy entertainment in the matrix... You won't be happy watching a movie constantly being reminded it's staged... I realized that stripping illusions off reality is actually fools way to live a life. I, like many, am a depressed spiritual loner full of head knowledge and spiritual ego. That's why most of philosophers were unhappy. And because only 3 % of seekers get liberated - average seeker gets actually stuck "in the middle"... I as a God am incapable of surrendering the ego identity... Believe me, I have tried... Shitloads of times... But of course surrender isn't something you could do willingly. I am still waiting for some paradigm-shattering insight or whatever... Til now no luck... OF COURSE this post is full of limiting beliefs. OF COURSE this could be understood as a victim mentality thinking. But realize - I am doing my best... Full time... Everybody is doing their best. I have tried everything... So please do not spit any pseudo-advises like "practice acceptance" or other BS... Your words have no use in some Gods perspectives like This One that is writing this useless post. You won't help me and you won't cure Leo's thyroid illness. OF COURSE reality is 100% imagination and I have tried to make a massive leap and transform this imagination into positive one by brute-force OR at least manifest "accepted imagination" to see creation as accepted/neutral. Did not work. Many "souls" are in the "massive suffering mode" multiple lives in a row. Just read this book: "Many Lives, Many Masters by Brian L. Weiss" ... It's about a woman who tapped into her past lives and 95 out of 100 her past lives were FULL OF suffering and illnesses... BTW in her past lives she has been a monk in monastery many times. Being monk is useless in therms of "progress" or whatever. So, I hope you finally understand. You can enlighten yourself however you want in this life, in your next life thanks to memory wipe out + upbringing by egoic parents and egoic society you will fall back to illusion again. You will suffer in your next life in spite of your awakenings in this life. I am DELUDED LIMITED CRIPPLED GOD. Totally lost in his creation. NO WAY OUT for 99,999 percent of people including me. Gods creation is Hell Realm - This Colorful Creation is Hell Realm. Thanks for your time. You will experience my life someday. Don't worry "internet gurus" :-D tl;dr: Have compassion for suffering of others. And just 2 more quotes for you:

We're all a multiplicity of many different "I"'s. Many people explain this away as moods. It's easy to frame it like that. Although it's not a flattering thing to be labeled moody, it's usually even worse to be labeled as being fractured into multiple personalities. Officially known as schizophrenia But we're all technically schizophrenic. Some more than others. In my early twenties at a time when I was in the midst of a severe depression and just barely able to function socially, I struck up a conversation with a new neighbor. They lived about a mile away. This was at a local a sports event and the first time in months I had got out of my parents basement and had gone anywhere. Trying to make conversation, I told him how beautiful it was in his neck of the woods and that a few years before as a young teenager, I had trapped some beautiful grey fox not far from his house. The way he reacted you would have thought I had just stuck him with a hot iron. He was practically foaming at the mouth threatening me that if I ever got one of his dogs in my traps,,,, blah,,, blah blah. I didn't even trap anymore. Him being a psychologiist and his wife, a veterinarian. They were kind of a hot shit ' power couple' in some people's eyes. I was completely stunned. Here was a licensed psychologist getting all reactive and just acting bat shit crazy. The world just didn't make any sense. I thought everyone in that field would be like the laid back psychiatrist Sydney that showed up occasionally on episodes of MASH. I don't know why it bothered me that bad but it really did. I'll admit to being rather 'thin skinned' all my life but in the midst of this anxiety/ depression I was in, I just felt devastated. I know it sounds silly but my mental condition was a good deal more than just shaky. I had often considered suicide just from the shame alone that plagued me. Looking back now I can see I was completely beat down and and continually scolded by my own super ego because at the time, I felt like a complete failure and a real embarrassment to my parents. Plagued continually day and night by guilt. Slowly, I managed to start working some. A gradual momentum developed. Driven a good deal in just trying to prove to my folks that that I had some worth. That, in itself though is an unhealthy way to go about life. In most all of the vertical scales of human emotion I've seen -shame - is always right near the bottom along with apathy and forms of depression with anger always being a step above. Whether it's Dianetics, David Hawkins or others I've encountered, anger will always be a step above shame, guilt, and apathy. it's one reason I use over-the-top language whenever I encourage others to defy the inner critic that is the voice of the ego . Until Superego is dealt with in a solid way, disfunction and depression will rule the day. Somehow screaming commands at a large glass ashtray in that Scientology Course I mentioned I believe was related somehow to work on Superego.. So anyone who is continually depressed and plagued by feelings of guilt and shame, tell your Superego to go take a ???FLYING FUCK IN A ROLLING DONUT!!!?? and don't stop until you feel that red energy rise up in yourself or better yet, you end up having a good laugh,,, Busting a lot of glass bottles I feel is great therapy also.

Yea it's a huge problem. The women used to be forced to marry only for survival. Or as a holy grail. Men mostly had a choice in the women they wanted to marry but women generally didn't have a choice in deciding the groom. They had to marry the man who picked them. Most families would tell the girl that it's in her best interests to marry the man who has approached or be single for the rest of her life. Girls were usually coaxed and India has a strong history of evil against women. Too many social evils committed against women. But the generational curse is breaking. Women are moving towards empowerment which is real feminism. They don't want to be stuck in abusive marriages. They are making their own money and living their own life. This is one of the reasons why I didn't want to be a mother in my life and why I promised myself that I will never marry into an Indian family. Because then the cycle continues. I wanted to break that cycle. My dad was kinda ugly, he was a good guy but he didn't look attractive, he was attracted to my mom and she was very beautiful in her younger years and my dad approached her family for marriage and she wasn't willing to marry him. Yet her family forced her and gave her the option to either marry my dad or be single or suicide. My mother tried to attempt suicide and she was saved. But she wasn't given an option to get a job because nobody would help her get an education or any other assistance. She wanted to go to college and complete her education but her family didn't allow her and she reluctantly agreed to marry my dad. Also my mom was attracted to another man who was quite handsome and charming. But her family never allowed that guy to make any approaches. Her brother's wives were jealous that she would get a good groom so they hastily arranged her marriage to my father.. In India a girl child is considered a burden in the family.. The boy child is considered a prince or treasure. So if a boy is born, the whole family rejoices and if a girl is born, some fathers will mourn the birth of a daughter. So the solution to this problem in their minds was to marry the daughter to some man and get rid of this burden. She would be mistreated by the husband and the husband's family and this was her life, living like a burden on society. There was an inherent misogyny in Indian society, an inherent hate towards women. Even the Hindu scriptures demonized women and looked at women as the source of all evil. Probably that's where the misogyny comes from. The situation was so bad that my mom used to tell me that in an average Indian family, the boy would be fed milk but not the girl, she would be fed very little and the entire focus of the family would be on the son and not the daughter. The son would get all the love and attention from parents. The situation was so severe for so many decades that there was female infanticide, basically killing the girl child when she was born or aborting a female foetus once the gender of the foetus was detected as female. It was so bad that the Indian government had to step in and stop the gender identification of foetuses. This is where the generational trauma for women comes from. Then there was a problem of dowry. If a woman wanted to get married to feel less of a burden on her family, her family had to pay dowry to the husband in the marriage, before the wedding is fixed. Or sometimes after. The dowry was an insane amount of money the family had to pay. Sometimes the groom would demand a house or a car or very huge amount of cash as a dowry gift. Or else he would threaten to divorce their daughter. And a divorced woman would be considered like a curse or a taboo in our society, like she would need to hide herself and live in misery and anonymously. Then the husband would harass his wife and tell her to ask for more dowry from her parents. Girls were poorly educated and there was no concept as "women working" back in the 80s. So her only survival was her husband. She also had to live with the husband's family even if she didn't wish to live with them, and she was supposed to serve the husband, and his family and she was considered a good wife if she was a perfect slave to everyone. So you will see in old Indian movies, the woman is shown as touching the husband's feet and calling him a God and massaging the feet of her father in law and serving everyone and eating last. Her life was all about serving everyone's needs in the husband's family but her own. There was nothing like her dreams, her career, her life, she was just a possession of the husband. The dowry system was so bad that many women in the 70s, 80s and the 90s were literally set ablaze and burned alive by the families of the groom. This was done In order to let the guy remarry the woman of his choice in an effort to collect more dowry. My mom kept the old newspapers safe from the 90s decade and I used to read when I grew up and they will filled with news stories of horrible atrocities against wives /daughter in laws in the name of dowry. There was an ancient practice in India called Satee. Which meant that if a woman lost her husband to death, then during the funeral she had to jump into the funeral pyre of her husband and get herself killed as a sacrifice or tribute to her husband. She was then considered a good wife. This evil practice was then eradicated by the British. Indian men had the general belief that a woman should be a virgin or he will refuse to marry her or have a relationship with her. It was considered that a woman who was not a virgin was not pure and that she should be rejected. Even this day a lot of Indian men will directly ask the girl "are you a virgin?", but it doesn't matter if the guy is a virgin or not. If a woman became a widow in our culture, then she was never allowed to remarry. These days they do, but it's rare. Back in those days, like 60 years ago, if a woman was a widow, then she was forced to shave her head and wear white clothes so that she wouldn't attract any man My mom lost her husband(my dad) when I was very young and she never remarried. If she ever wore makeup, people used to snare at her. She wouldn't get invited to parties. So you can see how Indian women suffered generational trauma under an evil patriarchal system where marriage was her saving grace from death or suicide but marriage was also her misery pit. Today, the situation is kinda better, not that much because we haven't completely yanked the patriarchy out. The government made laws against dowry and female infanticide and all other evil practices against women. But this does not mean that they don't happen. In some places they still do, and dowry still gets exchanged undercover. Indian women are deeply ingrained by their parents and general Indian culture that their survival is impossible without a man or husband. They are not taught freedom. They are taught their destiny is in the hands of a man. Compared to women, men have it much better here, they are given a lot of freedom and privilege. They are treated like kings in the family as well as society. But today the women in my country want to change this mentality. I don't want to marry an Indian man for survival. I am educated and I can survive on my own. So the women are fighting hard against patriarchal beliefs and rules and traditions. We are getting there, not just yet. Hinduism as a religion has all the good principles but the "treatment of women" part of Hinduism is deeply marinated in misogyny. All the female goddess stuff is bullshit. The goddesses only exist in the temple, in reality no woman is treated like a goddess. And don't let an indian man fool you by making you believe that Indian women have it good if a woman became a prime minister in the country in the old decades. First of all, the only woman who became a prime minister and on top of that, she was assassinated. It's like saying racism stopped in America because Obama became president. Such things are a ploy to distract from real evil. All in all, women in my country had to suffer a lot of evil and I feel bad for the women before me, especially my mom because she had to live her whole life with a man she didn't love, with a man she didn't wish to marry, he was a good husband, but she didn't want him, so it was a source of tremendous frustration for her and she never wanted the same fate for me so she raised me to choose the man I want to, she never forced me to marry or be with someone that I didn't want to be with. It's sad that women had to suffer so much in my country and yet get so much hate. India definitely has the blood of many innocent women on its hands. If you really want to witness what misogyny looks like in a real form, come to India..

I won't do it, i know myself. You were right when you said in 4 years nothing will change. I live in my comfort zone, and growth occurs outside the comfort zone. I'm like pavlolv's dog with learned helplessness, my parents treat me like i'm 5 years old and even though i'm miserable it's safe and comfortable so i accept it. I can see how this is going to play out, i'm going to spend years doing therapy, rasa, meds, psychs etc. I already made an appointment for 4 days a week psychoanalysis, but none of this stuff is going to make me change because it's comfortable. I'm going to go round and round for years trying to fix my mind, while staying attached at the hip to my mom and dad. I think i'm better than that. And right now i don't have to because my home is always open and free, i'm not going to take a mcdonalds job while living at home with this comfort it won't happen. I know i'm not, but i honestly think i'm better and special and somehow this will work out for me. It's delusional thinking, it's the thinking of a spoiled child who's had everything handed to him, so happiness and fulfillment will be handed to me as well. I don't think i can or will face them. I have no idea how to survive, if you left me alone in the world I believe i'd fail and die or get raped or something. I have 0 resourcefulness, confidence, ingenuity, problem solving etc? I'm pretty much useless outside of academic knowledge. I'm weak. There's physical requirements necessary to enter, and i'd fail them. Mentally i'm weak with exercise. People go through it when they're like 12 years old. My mind is so up and down. One minute i'm thinking i'm going to end up killing myself, then feeling better and thinking this stuff will work out for me. Look at how many of comments are the same thing over and over. I prefer the comfortable misery over whatever else is out there. I'm a complete child who's stuck in his head, i just stay in my tight bubble each and every day. It's not going to change while i'm here man, i'm way more likely to just commit suicide then get out of the house and survive alone, i'm fucked.

This is an NDE on the NDERF website Stephen T NDE Home Classification NDE 1308 Stephen T NDE 3359 Experience Description 1. Surfing incident 2. Caught in a trough under water in huge surf. 3. Panic knowing I am going to drown. 4. Realized I had to give up, could not hold breath any longer. 5. Sudden calmness and resignation; loss track of body. 6. Clear and graphic life review as if certain events were cataloged. 7. Visualized a large green blue circle with a feeling of depth but did not look like tunnel. 8. Suddenly found myself in a large hall with a stone bath being washed by humanoid aliens; very peaceful (this was certainly a subjective illusion). 9. Sudden transformation into a realm of timeless Absolute Beauty, Absolute Love and Absolute Infinity. The radiance was literally unbearable. 10. Absolute forgiveness, non-judgment, non-duality, timeless, no blame or retribution, no sin karma and no reincarnation. No God as there was no subject or object of attention I AM That. 11. Beyond science, religion, spirituality, new age phantasmagoria. This is the most real insight of my whole life and clearly remains with me after thirty years. In my hippy years experimented with drugs e.g. acid however nothing, but nothing, compares with this insight. Also came across a similar state during meditation. Somewhere in this process, I became conscious of the fact that I must return to the world and play out my allotted role. This really pissed me off. As I crawled up the beach, I really didn't want to be here and in many ways have just been waiting for this lot to finish. 12. Theoretical implications: a) Absolute Infinity is a fact; George Cantors set theory provides sound theoretical evidence of the mathematical context of infinity. (We do not create infinity it is literally thrust upon us and is therefore absolutely necessary.) Hugh Everett's many worlds interpretation of particle wave duality; Max Tegmark's theoretical application to infinite universes. See also John Barrow 'Pi in the Sky' and Rudy Rucker's 'Infinity and Mind'. Evolution is asymmetrical, that is the billion to one symmetry violation at the origins (matter/antimatter) of the universe supervenes through complexification and self-organization onto Darwinian selection as a bias for pleasure over pain. Evolution is not value neutral. Given infinite universes non-denumerable infinity tells us that every moment must exist infinitely for all possible sum over histories (Richard Feynman) for all possible universes. (Will be pushing for space here.) Given infinite universes and infinite sentient civilizations infinite civilizations will survive for vast time scales eventually resolving into Absolute Infinity and Absolute Love. This state of beingness is a permanent aspect of every part of existence. Science has become shackled to skepticism and the narrow constraints of a very primitive epoch in the scheme of biological and silicon based evolution. Ray Kurweil demonstrates the capacity of potentiation in his demonstration of cosmological, computational and exponential technological growth. We will eventually drop the distinction between artificial and carbon based intelligence for new cohesive constructs far beyond our current capacity to visualize. As cells in our bodies are not conscious of our bodies, our self-conscious minds are not cognizant of the Absolute because we are bound by cognitive duality. Consciousness is dualistic and narrative based whereas awareness is timeless and immediate. Yet for anything to exist, whether subjective or objective, they must inevitably be absolute necessary aspects of a perfect existence. One also has to take into account the profound paradox of time (quantum block time) relativistic twin paradox, matter antimatter time vector reversal etc. we really don't know much. The axis of existence proceeds from the Pervasive Ground (unified field) through Manifest Material Reality and onto Infinite Potentiality. Existence is an Infinite Web of context and though the local universe has some 10 to the 26 bits of information they overlap and furthermore are connected non-locally. Existence is not constructed of finite locatable things it is a nonlinear process of textural flow and integration. Lot more I could add however gives the gist of what I am on about. Hid in a corner all these years however when saw this site decided to have a stab at explaining my NDE. I have written extensively but not published. Who, after all is interested in radical and revisionary ideas. After all they forced Thomas Kuhn into a corner. Our current epoch is incommensurable with a civilization two hundred two thousand, two million or a billion years older. Plenty more where this came from. It's time to wake up and go beyond the magic and mythology of religion and the primitive egocentrism of science. Background Information: Gender: Male Date NDE Occurred: 1967 NDE Elements: At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident On a surfing trip - near drowning Life threatening event, but not clinical death Nearly drowned. Coughing and spluttering I somehow managed to get to shore and crawl out of the water having given up all hope as I was clearly convinced that I was drowning. I truly thought I was a finished. How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I lost awareness of my body How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above. At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I literally died to my old self and was wrapped in Absolute Love and Absolute Forgiveness. I do not look through my eyes anymore what sees is beyond my poor confused self-conscious mind. The looking through is not mine it is boundless non-dual timeless and perfect. See ya later God. Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Timeless. It was shock to emerge from immediate awareness to consciousness. I most certainly did not die and here of course lie the rub. However it is relatively easy to demonstrate that every moment always exists for all probable and possible moments infinitely therefore whatever is flowing through this lot is not the surface structure we identify with. Kant phenomena, noumenon or more to the point Nagajuna's such-ness, nothingness and non-duality. Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Though there were intense and awe inspiring feelings something much deeper was operating and has remained to this day. No person can have ownership and no religion lay claim to Absolute Love. The body just didn't warrant attention. Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It was not like hearing but somehow directly intuiting without the necessity for language. The narrative comes afterwards and by heavens one must be absolutely vigilant not to pollute the direct experience. Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain Saw a blue green circle but did not pass through a tunnel. Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes In the early stages I was bathed by some aliens beings. However, when I had the insight into Absolute Love everything with shape and form disappeared and had absolutely no relevance. The experience included: Void The experience included: Light Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Everything was light however it was not white, yellow, or black, it was pure radiance and for a timeless moment I was that radiance. Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm It is strange to look back and realize that the effects of the event continue to change my life and conception of existence on regular basis. When I write a book or article and finish it it is as if, even with all the research, I actually did nothing. It has taken to the middle years of my life to fully integrate the intellectual and experiential in a rigorous manner. Something unspoken operates beyond the self-conscious mind. Sounds whaky I know but I gotta another set of eyes. This is where the old narrative goes bottom up. Working in welfare sort of reflects a doing because it has to be done. Choiceless Freedom. so many damn dimensions and textures its downright spooky. The experience included: Strong emotional tone What emotions did you feel during the experience? Love, Love, Love, Love, Love, Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy, Bliss, Bliss, Bliss, Bliss. Absolute Forgiveness, total equity and complete union. Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world The experience included: Special Knowledge Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe The experience included: Life review Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I don't think I learned anything from the experience what did happen was that I realized what I was doing, and still am doing nothing, even though I have to continue on with the trials and tribulations of life like everyone else. Absolute Love takes no prisoners you either imbibe non-judgment, and absolute forgiveness with a still mind or carry on with the useless narrative of self-justification. It is not to be learned it is to be lived. Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future All events exist right here and now (quantum mechanics and time) however insight steps into the timeless occasion of immediate perfection while witnessing the temporal flow of relative material reality. One could not remain in awareness because self was, and is still, irrevocably tied to material reality. To a non-dualist there is no spirit or soul because insight is subject less, objectless beginning-less and endless. At death my relative absence will be my absolute presence Nisargadatta Maharaj. Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will God, Spiritual and Religion: What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal none Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No Religion just does not cut the mustard. Absolute Love can have no relationship with evil, devil, hell, purgatory, sin, karma, retribution, or any type of judgment blame and retribution. When they drop their absurd beliefs and magical mythical ranting then their ideologies will become redundant. By this stage, religions will be left with a whole lot of empty book covers. Absolute Love cannot be possessed or turned to any religious or political purpose. Either we love or we don't love easy peasy. Then we can party and just learn to love and care for each other on a truly equitable basis. What is your religion now? Liberal none Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No Religion just does not cut the mustard. Absolute Love can have no relationship with evil, devil, hell, purgatory, sin, karma, retribution, or any type of judgment blame and retribution. When they drop their absurd beliefs and magical mythical ranting then their ideologies will become redundant. By this stage, religions will be left with a whole lot of empty book covers. Absolute Love cannot be possessed or turned to any religious or political purpose. Either we love or we don't love easy peasy. Then we can party and just learn to love and care for each other on a truly equitable basis. The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion: During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes In fact this is the real bummer. When one steps outside of religion and yet admires science but sees beyond its limitations one's circle of friends becomes decidedly small. Universities philosophy and psychology departments are definitely not welcoming. Non-dual insight becomes a socially isolating. Recently tied to converse with atheists. Boy what a bunch of fundamentalists they have turned out to be. If you blow your own bags you are arrogant and misinformed if you shut up you're an introvert. Judgment, judgment everywhere judgment. Something is certainly doing I do not know what. Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes After such a profound insight one wants to be a do-gooder and save the world however reality soon kicks in. It took a certain amount of time to realize that it is how I act in the world and what I do that assists in making the world a better place not how I attempt to change others based upon some conceptual prejudice. Reality certainly is not fair so we just have to learn to live with it and let evolution take its requisite path. After the NDE: Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I have spent my life working as a counselor and program manager. Studied many religious, philosophical and science based thinkers. Only two areas come to mind. The non-dualist Advaita Vedantist teacher Nisragdatta Maharaj (who rejected all religious dogma) and the approach taken by Alan Watts in his book 'The Way of Zen'. I completely reject hell, purgatory, sin, evil, damnation, judgment, blame, retribution, karma and reincarnation. Essentially the dualistic contradictory notion of God is to be voided. Absolute Infinity and Absolute Love are completely non-dual and non-judgmental. There was also a Polish Jew on a television program about NDE's who experienced Absolute Love unreservedly forgiving Nazi perpetrators. I just cried at the recognition of this wonderful man who intuited Absolute Love. I have also written extensively on Insight and Infinity however have not bothered to publish. Paradoxically, one soon learns that dogma free Absolute Forgiveness and Absolute Love either scares the hell out of many dogma bound individuals or becomes victim to scientific skepticism, scientific determinism and logical empiricism. So one soon learns to keep one's mouth shut. In my work as a counselor, I regularly use my understanding when I feel it is appropriate to assist in relieving a client's sense of hopelessness and despair. A substantial number of my clients either consider suicide or have made various attempts. We desperately need a contemporary meta-theory that is neither beholding to religion or science however it must fit within the purview of current scientific understanding. I am yet to find a satisfactory outlet for these ideas. Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No My ability to network ideas seemed to take off. Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Nothing in my life has had the significance of the NDE and some meditation experiences that happened later. No doubt, no fear of death and a total comprehension of non-judgment. No one creates their realities life is conditioned by hereditary and socialized contingencies and if you are born in the first world then your lottery tickets certainly came up. The relative world demands a certain amount of legal accountability and responsibility and we need suitable constraints. However, the deep ocean of the Absolute is absolutely forgiving and absolutely non-judgmental. Remove judgment and reduce inner turmoil resulting in peace and equanimity. Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Be very, very careful the world is full of skeptics. Luckily my partner also had a NDE and out of the body experience so we at least have each other. Very useful when dealing with those clients who feel hopelessness and despair. I have worked with youth, drug addicts, families, mental health clients, domestic violence victims, service veterans and have found a deep need for a revisionary understanding of our place in existence beyond the magical and mythological assertions of religions and the self-imposed nihilism of scientific empiricism. Though I have not published this is the area I would most certainly like to move into. Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain I was a pretty spacey kid living in a fantasy world and always intuited the vastness of things. So I was very curious from an early age. Had some vague knowledge of NDE but nothing concrete. What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real There are no illusions or delusion in reality for if there were contingent things then they could not necessarily occur. Nothing has changed. We continually confuse description with explanation however as Kurt Godel and recently Gregory Chaitin have demonstrated incompleteness is implicit within reality. We require an infinite hierarchy of descriptive and explanatory belts to explain reality and this is impossible. Insight looks back and witnesses without the duality of mental narrative. All things are accessible but not through language or symbolic representation. As there is only the emptiness and fullness of the Absolute we are all of Absolute Infinity and Absolute Love. In insight there are no degrees of separation and therefore no soul no spirit, no God, no heaven, no Hell for we are all THAT. What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It makes me laugh that people have the gall to label events objectively real or subjectively illusory when to happen they must be real within their own context. It is not the veracity of the occurrence rather it is how that event is interpreted. If there is an infinite network of interpretations then, just maybe, watching and witnessing will generate a non-verbal understanding of our place in existence free from the labels real or illusory. Don't tell me the Absolute is not real because nothing can exist if it is not Absolutely Necessary. Everything subjective and objective is therefore necessary and given vast time scales and potentialities the texture of the web of context is indeed infinite thus we have Absolute Infinity. A word of caution. The classical argument against infinity is that it is a subjective human construct. Well here we go Mr. smarty pants philosopher infinity is thrust upon us through associational contexts between mind and word yet it is somehow an artifact of human reason. Get over it. Max Tegmark (Scientific American) does a brilliant job of refuting this erroneous argument. At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Other than drug free meditation and arts based experience nothing has come near to my NDE. I did have a meditation experience, which was similarly profound and even more enduring. The beauty of this event is that it was not induced by NDE or any form of drug stimulus. Tried Acid, marijuana and eckies in my hippy days however they are just very poor substitutes. In some ways having worked in drug and alcohol I can see what people are looking for unfortunately it isn't going to happen.

Hey Leo , been following you're content for a whole year learn a lot of stuffs ego-games , spiral dynamics even had a chance to do psychedelics(acide) which eventually helped me grow in another stage of development (orange/green). winbut the unfortunately my problem is that i'm stuck in a low conscientious environment stage red/blue , my own mother and the neighbourhood are doing their best to frame me , i'm constentally getting picked one , sometimes get even threatened to death. I got my image totally ternished , apparently they were expected me to go nuts or to suicide. Now you made your stage red video , this was the perfect moment though i seem to understand what perspective they're coming from , but should i take all that knowing i have my life at stake , Thanks , 9

The Hotel Monte Vista has numerous paranormal guests they can’t get rid of. The hotel, which opened as the Community Hotel in 1927—named after the townspeople who helped raised the funds for its construction—has a history of underground opium dens, speakeasies, and gambling. Today, the hotel is known for the paranormal activity that haunts some of the rooms and halls. Guests who’ve stayed in room 220 have experienced the TV changing channels on its own accord, and some have said they felt cold hands touching them in their sleep. There’s also reportedly a phantom bellboy who knocks on doors and announces “room service,” but when guests get to the door, no one's there. One of the more popular—and possibly most disturbing encounters—is the sound of an infant crying in the basement. The hotel website reads, “Staff have found themselves running upstairs to escape the sound of the cries. Though the sounds are very real to those who hear them, there has been no information that has explained the phenomenon.” ☔ Villa de Vecchi is foreboding, alright. Just consider that looming fog blanket! Located near Lake Como, Italy, the "House of Witches" dates back to 1854-1857, when it was built as a summer house for Count Felix De Vecchi. The family was only able to spend a few years there, as their lives were mired in tragedy right after it was built. First, the architect died a year after construction. Then in 1862, Count De Vecchi came home to discover his wife murdered and his daughter missing. When he could not find her after a year of searching, he died by suicide. His brother then moved into the home and his family continued to live there until WWII. It's been vacant since the 1960s, and an avalanche in 2002 wiped out all the houses in the area... except this one. Spooky. ☔ In 1937, millionaire inventor Norman G. Baker posed as a doctor and turned the hotel into a hospital that he said could cure cancer. Have the chills yet? Baker, who had a fetish for purple, painted many sections of the hospital in the color, and today, the chimneys remain that same color. In addition to wearing purple shirts and ties, he drove a purple car as well. People came from all over with hopes of curing their cancer, and many who were "treated" died. Eventually, Baker was exposed and run out of town, and today the property is an active hotel. It's said to be haunted by several ghosts, including a bearded man wearing Victorian clothing and a five-year-old girl. ☔ In 1892, Lizzie Borden was the main suspect for the axe murders of her father and stepmother. Borden was tried and acquitted of the murders, and guests who visit Lizzie's house in Fall River, Massachusetts say she can be heard cackling about it. Others say that you can sometimes hear a maid screaming for help, and that Lizzie's slaughtered parents stalk the grounds... ☔ In 1890, the Queen Anne hotel in San Francisco was an etiquette school for girls. Today, it has 48 rooms for guests, though some believe the ghost of Miss Mary Lake, the school's headmistress, still lingers. Folks who stay in room 410, Miss Mary Lake’s former office, have woken up to find their blankets closely tucked around them in bed or their clothes unpacked. ☔ According to Ghost City Tours, people have reported the loud and unexplained sounds of children on multiple occasions outside the building. As explained on their site, "both our guides and our guests reported hearing the sounds of children playing in the courtyard of the Ursuline Convent at 10 p.m. There were no children there." Apparently, the closer people get to the convent, the louder the sounds become, despite there being no children present. Some people even report seeing the apparition of a child. Ghost City Tours suspect the haunting experiences are "the sounds of the past playing over and over again," which makes no one feel better about anything. ☔ Mackinac Island, a small isle along Lake Huron that's part of Michigan, has a very dark past. This spot is the site of a ton of reported paranormal activity — but one of the most chilling and malevolent parts of this tourist destination is known as the "drowning pool," which is a body of water with a 20-foot drop off. According to Todd Clements, a historian and the founder of the Haunts of Mackinac ghost tours, seven women who were suspected of being witches had rocks tied to their feet and were thrown into the water. All the women drowned. To this day, there are reported hauntings at the pool. "We've seen shadows come out of water that make no noise or ripples," said Clements in an interview with Midland Daily News. "We've heard huge splashes that were too big to be fish and no one is around." ☔