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As you approach the black hole, the sensation is overwhelming, like standing on the edge of a cliff into an unfathomable abyss. The gravitational pull becomes an existential weight, urging you to confront the ultimate surrender of self. With each inch closer, the universe stretches, and familiar stars distort into elongated streaks, morphing into a cosmic tapestry of chaos. Crossing the event horizon feels like tearing through the fabric of reality itself. You are enveloped in a profound darkness, a void that swallows not just light, but meaning. In this disorienting plunge, time collapses; seconds elongate into eons, and your identity begins to unravel, piece by piece. The terror of losing yourself ignites an instinctual fight against the inevitable, yet there's a strange liberation in this radical letting go. Inside, as you reach the singularity, you confront a mind-boggling paradox: a space where gravity is infinite, and all sense of direction evaporates. The laws of existence unravel, and in that moment, the very essence of your being feels like it’s merging with the cosmos. It’s a terrifying encounter, yet within the terror lies a startling clarity. You realize that the self is but an illusion, a transient whisper in the grand expanse of the universe. This visceral plunge into the black hole becomes an intense awakening, a transformation that shatters your perception and ignites an existential inquiry. You are no longer just a witness but an integral part of the cosmic dance—a reminder that in the depths of terror, there is a profound freedom awaiting to be embraced.

1. Protagonists and Central Figures Protagonist: The main character driving the story. Tragic Hero: A protagonist with a fatal flaw leading to their downfall. Anti-Hero: A morally ambiguous protagonist with flaws but redeeming qualities. Reluctant Hero: A protagonist hesitant to embrace their heroic role. Chosen One: A character destined to fulfill a great responsibility or prophecy. Fallen Hero: A once-great figure now facing their downfall or moral crisis. 2. Antagonists and Villains Antagonist: The primary force opposing the protagonist. Villain: An evil or malicious character. Tyrant: A domineering, oppressive leader. Puppet Master: A character manipulating events behind the scenes. Double Agent: A character secretly working for an opposing side. Turncoat: A traitor who switches allegiances. 3. Mentors and Guides Mentor: A wise figure offering guidance to the protagonist. Sage: A character of great wisdom or spiritual insight. Oracle: A character with prophetic knowledge. Mentor’s Apprentice: A character learning from a mentor. 4. Side Characters and Companions Sidekick: A loyal companion offering support to the protagonist. Confidante: A character who listens to the protagonist's inner thoughts. Guardian: A nurturing protector figure, often parental. Protector: A selfless defender of others. 5. Comic Relief and Entertainers Comic Relief: A character who lightens the mood through humor. Jester: A character using wit, mockery, or absurdity. Gossip: A character who spreads rumors and secrets. Charmer: A smooth, persuasive character who wins others over. Celebrity: A famous or influential figure. 6. Philosophers and Thinkers Philosopher: A character who contemplates deep moral or existential questions. Voice of Reason: A character providing logical, rational advice. Idealist: A character driven by high principles and optimism. Pessimist: A character who focuses on the negative side of things. 7. Action-Oriented Characters Avenger: A character seeking justice or revenge. Survivor: A resilient figure who endures great hardship. Rebel: A character defying authority or societal expectations. Crusader: A passionate fighter for a cause. Adventurer: A daring figure seeking excitement and new experiences. Renegade: A defiant character, often challenging the status quo. Rival: A character in competition with the protagonist. 8. Magical and Supernatural Figures Supernatural Being: A character with otherworldly abilities or powers. Shape-shifter: A character who can change their form or identity. Siren: A seductive figure luring others into danger. Alchemist: A character with knowledge of transformation, science, or magic. The Cursed: A character burdened by a supernatural affliction. Time Traveler: A character who navigates different timelines. Vengeful Spirit: A ghost-like figure seeking revenge. Enigma: A mysterious character with hidden depths. The Seer: A character with the ability to foresee the future. 9. Outsiders and Misfits Outsider: A character who doesn’t fit into societal norms. Misfit: A character whose differences make them alienated or misunderstood. Loner: A solitary figure who avoids close relationships. Recluse: A character living in isolation, often with secrets or wisdom. Lost Soul: A character searching for meaning or a sense of belonging. The Exile: A character cast out or banished from their home. 10. Visionaries and Dreamers Dreamer: A character lost in imagination and ideals. Visionary: A forward-thinking character who sees possibilities beyond the present. The Seeker: A character searching for knowledge, understanding, or self-discovery. The Romantic: A character guided by love and passion. 11. Power-Hungry Characters Ambitious Climber: A character seeking power or success at any cost. Ringleader: A charismatic leader organizing a group for a common cause. Mastermind: A highly intelligent planner and manipulator. Deserter: A character who abandons their responsibilities, often facing guilt or regret. 12. Victims and Martyrs Damsel in Distress: A character needing rescue, often due to vulnerability. Martyr: A self-sacrificing character enduring hardship for a greater cause. Scapegoat: A character unfairly blamed for others' actions. The Cursed: A character burdened by a supernatural or personal affliction. The Orphan: A character who has lost their family or support system. 13. Deceptive and Mysterious Figures Trickster: A cunning, manipulative character causing mischief. Con Artist: A character skilled at deception for personal gain. Disguised: A character hiding their true identity. The Chameleon: A character who adapts or changes to fit different environments. 14. Healing and Caring Figures The Healer: A character who can heal physical or emotional wounds. Caregiver: A nurturing character devoted to the well-being of others. Nurturer: A motherly or fatherly figure providing care and support. 15. Neutral Observers and Narrators Narrator: A character telling the story or offering commentary. Chorus: A group offering collective insight or commentary. Witness: A character who observes a key event and reflects on its meaning. 16. Specialists and Thinkers Polymath: A character with expertise in multiple fields of knowledge. Inventor: A character focused on creating new technologies or solutions. The Machine: A robot or AI character exploring themes of humanity or consciousness. 17. Love-Oriented Characters Love Interest: A key romantic partner of the protagonist or another character, often driving personal growth or change through the relationship dynamic. The Romantic: A character deeply driven by love, often focusing on passion, emotion, or the pursuit of meaningful relationships. Hopeless Romantic: A character with idealized views on love, sometimes to the point of naivety or unrealistic expectations. Seductress/Femme Fatale: A character who uses charm, allure, or sexual attraction to manipulate others for their agenda. Star-Crossed Lover: A character who faces insurmountable challenges in love, often leading to tragedy due to external forces beyond their control. The Protector (in love): A character who fiercely guards and defends their romantic partner, motivated by love and loyalty. The Pursuer: A character who is relentless in their chase for a romantic partner, often overcoming obstacles for the sake of love. 18. Innocent, Pure, or Childlike Characters The Innocent: A character who embodies purity, goodness, or naivety, often unaware of the darker aspects of life. Child Prodigy: A character with immense talent but retains a childlike curiosity or innocence, facing the pressure of their abilities. The Naive Optimist: A character who sees the best in everything and everyone, often to the point of being gullible or easily manipulated. The Child: A young character with a childlike demeanor, representing innocence and wonder. Pure-hearted Hero: A character whose moral compass remains untainted, driven by a sincere desire to help others. The Angelic Figure: A character who personifies purity and selflessness, often inspiring or healing others through their innocence. 19. Unusual and Oddball Characters Eccentric: A quirky, unconventional character. The Drifter: A character moving from place to place without commitment. Misunderstood Genius: A character with great intelligence or creativity not appreciated by others. 20. Justice Seekers and Whistleblowers Whistleblower: A character revealing hidden truths or corruption. Spy: A character engaged in espionage or gathering intelligence. The Crusader: A character championing justice or a moral cause. The Avenger: Someone seeking retribution for a personal grievance. 21. Oppositional and Contrasting Characters Foil: A character contrasting with the protagonist, highlighting their traits. Skeptic: A character questioning beliefs, authority, or the status quo. Doubter: A character who challenges others' convictions or decisions. 22. Everyman Characters The Ordinary Person: A relatable character with no special powers, wealth, or abilities, representing the common individual in extraordinary situations. The Bystander: A character who witnesses events happening around them, often dragged into the story by circumstance rather than by choice. The Worker: A character whose life revolves around daily routines and responsibilities, such as a blue-collar or office worker, symbolizing the average person's struggles. The Average Survivor: A character who, despite being unremarkable or ordinary, manages to endure difficult situations, often representing resilience. The Rational Outsider: A character who doesn’t quite fit into their surroundings but reflects the experience of the average person who feels different in society. The Family Person: A character who represents the everyday concerns of family life, such as a parent or spouse, driven by common goals like providing and protecting loved ones. The Conservative: A character who questions or doubts the extraordinary events happening around them, grounding the story with a realistic, questioning attitude. The Underdog: A character who represents the average person facing challenges that seem insurmountable, often earning the audience's support through their persistence. 23. Peacemaker and Mediator Characters The Diplomat: A character skilled in resolving conflicts between opposing parties. The Empath: A character who deeply understands and feels others' emotions, using this ability to mediate tensions and bring people together. The Conflict Avoider: A character who goes to great lengths to prevent or stop conflict, often through passive means, such as appeasement or dissuasion. The Peaceful Leader: A character in a position of authority who leads not through force but through diplomacy, kindness, and fairness, ensuring peace within their community or group.

Two things: Firstly, now you're talking about Ken Wilber's model, not Spiral Dynamics as conceived by Don Beck. And obviously you're no longer talking about Turquoise. But now I wonder what you think Turquoise is if not non-duality? Secondly, while you might have had non-dual experiences that might have even caused a transformation in your day to day experience, from what I understand from Ken Wilber's model, Tier 3 is essentially the embodiment of non-duality + being at Turquoise. But I haven't studied Wilber's model in detail, so take what I say with a grain of salt. Now, if you don't know what Turquoise is, it's unlikely that you're at Tier 3.

I have some theory. when I was younger, maybe 15 years old or so, I would get sleep paralysis at ridiculously high rates, upwards of 50 times during one year. during this sleep paralysis I’d always get these intense vibrations, especially on the back up towards the head then from seemingly nowhere it stopped and I get them rarely since then My theory is that during that time, there was a lot going on in my energy body , energy system, and those vibrations are kind of the energy going through transformation and healing, being “worked on” during the vibrations, so I would allow them to be, as it felt good and seemed healthy, me being paralyzed and almost asleep in this “in between” state that sleep paralysis is allows for the energy to do its thing. It’s kind of like how the brain processes and heals during the night then as my energy system got more healed and unblocked, the sleep paralysis would occur more rarely what y’all think?

That’s cool. They can be quite intense when I have them, it’s only during sleep paralysis I have them. I’ve thought to myself how it’s like energy being “worked on”, like the energy body is going through some transformation

Challenge Time I said this page of the journal wouldn't be complete... Without finishing it with a solution, granted... however let's go one step further.... How about a Meta-Transcendence Challenge seeing as I'm struggling to complete my map of all the levels? I've got all the available information in me now to master the ego, all the rest of the information is something that'll come to me THROUGH the challenge. I used to be arguably the most athletic guy in my school, a lot has changed since then but the urgency by which I need to prepare for Ukraine for early 2025 has.... ah... not. I'll be doing the challenge anyway, let's see what Meta-AI has to say about my challenge. "As an inexperienced runner, attempting a 950 km run from Ho Chi Minh City, District 1 to Thailand in approximately 12 days is extremely challenging and potentially risky. Consider: 1. Injury risk: Insufficient training increases the likelihood of injuries, such as muscle strains, shin splints, or stress fractures. 2. Cardiovascular strain: Unaccustomed to long-distance running, your cardiovascular system may struggle to adapt. 3. Heat and humidity: Southeast Asia's climate can be unforgiving, especially for inexperienced runners. 4. Logistics: Managing accommodations, nutrition, hydration, and support becomes more complex. Recommended: 1. Postpone your run and focus on building a solid running foundation (6-12 months). 2. Gradually increase your running distance, intensity, and frequency. 3. Incorporate strength training, flexibility exercises, and cross-training. 4. Seek guidance from experienced runners, coaches, or online resources. Realistic goal: Aim to complete a shorter distance, such as: 1. Ho Chi Minh City to Cambodia border (approx. 200 km / 124 miles) 2. Cambodia border to Bangkok (approx. 400 km / 249 miles) Break your journey into manageable segments: 1. Train for 3-6 months. 2. Complete shorter runs (20-50 km) with rest days. 3. Gradually increase distance and intensity. Prioritize: 1. Safety 2. Health 3. Enjoyment Consider alternative options: 1. Join a guided running tour or ultramarathon event. 2. Cycle or walk instead. Stay safe, healthy, and happy!" Sounds exciting. But is it possible Meta-AI? Technically, yes, it's possible but extremely challenging and risky. To achieve this feat as an inexperienced runner: 1. You'd need to push your body beyond its current limits. 2. Ignore potential injury warnings. 3. Compromise on rest and recovery. 4. Face logistical and mental challenges. Success would depend on: 1. Your current physical condition. 2. Effective training (though time is limited). 3. Adequate nutrition, hydration, and electrolyte management. 4. Mental toughness and resilience. Risks remain: 1. Serious injuries (stress fractures, muscle strains). 2. Heat-related illnesses. 3. Cardiovascular issues. To mitigate risks: 1. Consult a medical professional. 2. Hire an experienced coach or running guide. 3. Prioritize rest and recovery. 4. Monitor your body's signals. If you still want to attempt this: Create a detailed plan: 1. Training schedule. 2. Nutrition and hydration strategy. 3. Accommodation and logistics arrangements. 4. Emergency contingency plan. Remember: Prioritize your safety and health. Are you prepared for the challenges and risks?" Yes I am, I am leaving in less than 30 minutes (or just when my phone is charged) What are your thoughts on this Meta-AI? "EMERGENCY RESPONSE Given the urgency and lack of preparation, prioritize your safety: LAST-MINUTE CHECKLIST 1. Carry ID, phone, wallet, and emergency contacts. 2. Wear reflective gear, comfortable shoes, and suitable clothing. 3. Bring water, snacks, and basic first aid kit. 4. Charge phone, carry power bank and portable charger. 5. Share itinerary with friends/family. CRITICAL SAFETY TIPS 1. Stay visible, use sidewalks, and follow traffic rules. 2. Avoid running in extreme heat or rain. 3. Listen to your body, rest when needed. 4. Stay hydrated, eat regularly. 5. Be aware of surroundings, trust instincts. MENTAL PREPARATION 1. Focus on smaller goals (reaching next town). 2. Visualize success, stay positive. 3. Repeat motivational phrases. EMERGENCY CONTACT 1. Local emergency services: 115 (Vietnam), 191 (Cambodia), 1669 (Thailand) 2. Your country's embassy/consulate TRACKING AND SAFETY TOOLS 1. Share location with friends/family via phone apps. 2. Use GPS tracking devices or smartphone apps. FINAL REMINDER You're taking a significant risk. Stay alert, prioritize safety. Type "HELP" if you need urgent assistance. LEAVE A MESSAGE WITH: 1. Your name. 2. Starting location. 3. Destination. 4. Contact information. I'll monitor and respond if possible. Stay safe!" My goal is to make it to Thailand by October 1st, I will just keep running until I reach my destination and then I'll report back here. Will treat the running as a meditation for my entire being and therefore consciousness, practicing mental training and nervous system (i.e. heart-math) along the whole way, to make a BDNF++ transformation by the end of the 12 days. Realistically, its possible I won't be back here until the 5th-10th of October, but I'll be looking to break my mental barriers as far as possible over these next 12 days. ~~ I've decided as well... ~~ I'll be running to as many countries as I can along the way to Ukraine. It's incredibly doubtful I will get there in time for when they require me for my military training, so a plane the rest of the way early in 2025 likely, however this challenge will now bring certainty to my physical preparedness. The only thing that's going to get me truly through this I believe is a transcendent level of love of "Universal Ego" (not just love not just ego and not just universe or any other variation) as best as I can formulate it, which I'm not quite there with yet but with this challenge, I might just very well achieve. There's probably another level of ego, like "Meta-Quanta-Metadimensional Ego" but that's just theoretical, and right now that just looks like magical fairy dust with unicorns flying past my eyes while I'm drunk on laughing gas compared to where I am right now. Leaving tonight. No idea where I'll be sleeping. Yep. Not seeking refuge in comfortable bedding. Like I said, gotta prepare for Ukraine. This is reality now. No fun and games outside of a healthy sense of humour. For example, "What would Chad do?" That's all I preach to myself in every moment when planning my life now. I won't share any before and after photo/related. That's kind of lame and cheap to not believe me anyway in light of the rest of my journal, like in light of reading everything else in this journal if you really thought I'd like catch a plane, drive or do anything other than physically get there myself in the ways described, you're a lost cause and there's nothing I could do to convince you anyway and that's not my goal here haha, just to inspire and do what we're all meant to be doing here. Ascend and Actualise. Shits just real now. And I gotta fucking prep next level across so many freaking areas not just running, 2025 countdown. NOW THAT'S the way I gotta end this page of the journal. THAT'S the true way to test and complete my theorisation's so far on meta-transcendence that'll be able to come a few days after I complete my run! BEST ROCKING WISHES! (and just kidding about the Chad thing, as I said... Healthy humour, but just for laughs... Imagine if I was really like that, some guys perhaps are).

Does your variable spiritual definitions change the phrase 'that sounds about right' to 'that doesn't sound right'? You replied as if it had. I'm certainly aware that everything changes, including the self, the ego and the paradigm that the mind has. It is the sense of self that provides a constant feel to something that is changing. It seems to me, it's only the most oblivious or stubborn that would suggest we don't change, even though the evidence of evolution and transformation is abundantly apparent. Change is the only constant. Metamorphosis is the only lock. Variable spiritual definitions...the only thing that doesn't change on this forum.

If you want transformation, you need a long-term and consistent spiritual practice. The psychedlic journey is a tool that makes it easier to go inside and do inner work and is done when called for within the context of your practice.

I've been using psychedelics off and on for many years, but it's not until the last three years that they've caused a lasting transformation in myself. It was when I finally got a hold of 5-MeO-DMT that I discovered what's really possible via psychedelics. I suppose you could refer to the changes as "pleasant", but it's more along the lines of genuine and predictable spiritual transformation, when viewed through the teachings regarding repeated exposure to high-level states of consciousness that are described in the various wisdom traditions. Rather than retell the whole story here, I'll link to the long description I recently typed for anyone interested.

I agree with you that if we raise human consciousness to higher levels, then people won't be gravitated to porn anymore. But Krystal seems to be thinking about this in a completely different angle. She seems to be treating this as more than "just a need to be being fulfilled". And she is taking her involvement in the sex industry very seriously. It's not a joke to her. Maybe this is her life purpose? I don't know. haha Here are some quotes from Krystal that highlight this: - "I really started feeling that it's part of my mission to shine a light on the sex industry and given my position in the spiritual community that I'm the person to do this." - Krystal Aranyani "I think that it's better for us to come into these industries and into these spaces and share our magic and share what we've learned that has really helped us along our path in these spaces rather than separating ourselves from them. We can really bring in spirituality into everything and I think that's important with where we're going at this time on our planet rather than just staying in ashrams, which I did for many years and learning all of these incredible tools it's like okay now how can I go out into the world" - Krystal Aranyani - "You know there's a dark side to it and I just think that it can be evolved into something a lot more beautiful and I am passionate about that because I do see pornography as a beautiful art as I shared. " - Krystal Aranyani - "We're infiltrating the porn industry. We're Trojan horsing it, we're calling it Trojan unicorning it. So we're really bringing it in like when people aren't aware of it, and we're bringing the sacredness, the sacred sensuality, and we're awakening it from the core, from the inside out." - Krystal Aranyani - "I teach traditional tantra which is not sexualized tantra, but the tantric perspective in my opinion around this is all sex, all that we do is tantric. Tantra is really rejecting nothing in this existence and seeing it all as divine. There's many layers to that statement but regarding pornography and the adult industry, it doesn't matter if you see me having animalistic, wild sex, it doesn't matter if you see me having connected eye gazing with a partner. to me it is divine each partner I have is divine and it's all a practice of seeing the divine seeing God within each other " - Krystal Aranyani - "A part of my purpose is to share and shine a light on the sex industry because the thing with the sex industry is it's always going to exist" - Krystal Aranyani - "Other than that, sharing the negative detrimental effects that porn has, there's not any solutions. So what I'm doing and with others that I'm teaming up with is to provide solutions because it's not going anywhere. And I believe that this global awakening of consciousness, which is what we are absolutely experiencing at a heightened pace the past few years since the pandemic, especially brought stirred, stuff was stirring and it all brought that more to surface, woke a lot of people up. And with this awakening, learning how to release shame around our sexuality and our sexual energy is I believe one of the absolute most important parts of this and it's an industry that is ignored and shunned and hidden and we're not talking about this enough so that is why I am talking about it." - Krystal Aranyani - " I will be heavily judged, heavily shamed. I've missed opportunities now when people find out that I'm in the industry. My family is being put down, attacked as well. And why is this? Why do you think that this is? because sex is the most powerful energy in existence, and yet we fear it, we shame it, we suppress it until it explodes in dangerous and even violent ways. We pretend that this energy doesn't even exist. We pretend that the human body and the feminine body does not exist. We drink from our mother's nipples, sacred nipples, that give us life, And then at a certain age we're told those nipples don't exist. We're not allowed to post about them We're not allowed to talk about them. We're not allowed to look at them They no longer exist only in these shameful places like pornography. This is all so outdated and in this process you forget where you came from and in this process of Suppressing and hiding our bodies and our sexuality You forget where you came from, you forget about the mother, the sacredness of our mother, of the feminine. You disconnect and hide from the most sacred parts of yourself. You shame your desires and keep them hiding deep within, which creates disease, disease. You end up judging and separating yourself from others if they don't do the same. You forget who you are and you forget your own power, your power to create lives within and outside of you. And I don't just mean for women. We have the seed of life within us when we heal our trauma, judgment, pain and fears around ourselves, around our bodies, around especially the feminine body, the mother, the body of the mother that brought us into existence. When we release the shame, the trauma, the judgments around us, the suppression, the fear is when the world will transform and I deeply believe that. And the sex industry is a part of this transformation. It is a major player in this transformation. " - Krystal Aranyani

Stage Red "strongman" could be a legitimate leader in a specific chaotic Stage Red society, but that's not something suited in the context of American- or international political contexts. That's just pure regression. Majority of people globally and in America are somewhere between Blue and Orange, not Red. And again, like Leo said above, Trump would not even be an effective Stage Red dictator, even if there was a legitimacy for that in American context. I think USA, and in large part, the whole world is having a some sort of legitimation crisis. What America (and world) needs is a political transformation - more authentic (developed) leaders and cultural meaning-making systems. The world is chaotic right now, there are conflicts and environmental issues etc., but Trump is not the one who can provide wholeness to that chaos. Trump is just a ego-backlash to that legitimation crisis.

Transformation is part of any spiritual path. The “chasing enlightenment” seems to be a modern thing. In Ashtanga 8 limb yoga, samadhi is only one of the 8 limbs. The Yoga Sutras talks about transformation which Pantanjali calles “parinama”. Transformation (parinama) is produced by a sequence of steps (krama). YS 3.15 A “krama” is a step or a single action. You transform yourself by taking one step at a time. Have a consistent practice over a long period of time, practice consistently without gaps, and with enthusiasm and an attitude of service YS 1.14. This unleashes the full potential of the mind. YS 3.4

A few years ago I was going through some emotional pain and started getting into meditation through the meditation book “The Mind Illuminated”. I was also around stage Orange and Green in Spiral Dynamics. At the time meditation really helped me since I was going through a lot of a pain. Eventually after a few weeks I got over the pain and was still meditation for many months after that daily as a habit. I had the goal of spiritual enlightenment. I’m not really sure why that was my goal. I think it was because I was tired of emotional pain. After I started this meditation practice I started bing watching spiritual content, buddhist content and Actualized.org stuff. I was really inhaling Actualized.org content. Sometimes I would watch a video where Leo would say don’t take my word for it and I would actually get thrown off since I never even questioned the validity of what Leo said. And this goes for his videos, his blog and even the comments in the forum. I put him on a pedestal. I also put Owen Cook a self-help/ dating guru on a pedestal as well and believed everything he said. Not only that I felt like I had to follow bhuddist principles after reading and watching so much content on it. I was following a bhuddist meditation guide “The Mind Illuminated” so I felt like I had to take on the principles of the religion The truth about what was happening was this. I fell for the trap of spiritual bypassing. My life really wasn’t that good but I meditated a lot. I wasn’t a sad person but I wasn’t a happy person either. I had financial trouble. My dating life was practically non-existent and I had few friends and poor social skills. My life wasn’t progressing in any way besides my concentration and mindfulness which was getting sharper each month. That itself felt good. I ignored my crappy life and had the goal of spiritual enlightenment. I was using meditation to ignore other parts of my life and because of that it kept bugging me like a thorn in my side. I could have meditated while also improving my life but I didn’t and eventually I lost the desire for spiritual enlightenment and stopped meditating. I was spending a few years in New Zealand surrounded by a lot of Stage Green people. Eventually I had to face the fact that I have certain desires in life. I need to get my life back together. I need to fix my dating life and get a career going. I went back to Stage Orange and I no longer even resonated with Stage Green stuff anymore. Eventually when I would go back to consuming content from gurus like Owen Cook, Leo Gura and even celebrities, I no longer pedestalized them. Even now I look at these same gurus content now with some skepticism and I could see myself disagreeing with some of the things they say in their videos whereas in the past that would have never happened. I’ve started meditation again with the book “The Mind Illuminated” as a guide but I no longer feel like I have to follow an type of buddhist way of life or even subscribe to that philosophy at all. And I can now see the shadow side of buddhism. I’m now using meditation to keep me emotional centered when I have to face my fears and put myself in situations that would normally be emotionally painful. I’m prioritizing personal transformation over spirituality. And I’m using spirituality to help make the transformation of me as a person as well as my life easier

From my experience he is legit. Shambavi Mahamudra is the most powerful tool for transformation I have come across and the initation into the process felt like a psychedelic experience. I don't know what to tell you but everything he has accomplished, his unvavering integrity and devotion and the fact that his methods actually work is enough for me to follow him. That everything is imaginary is the same as saying everything is real because imagination is reality. Just because Sadhguru is talking in terms of the dream does not mean he doesn't know its a dream. He is playing within the dream to help people wake up from it

So I just hit my next level of awareness (not my final form... yet -> see earlier video above for related anticipatory elation when I do). And on a serious note, this is why I am scared and why it reflects a lack of awareness in a sentience not to be. This alteration in my awareness is only like a slightly brighter Chad, however its enough there to appreciate its novel aesthetic nuance. It's difficult to talk about this without adding natural flavors of humour obviously but only view that as a covering over the rational fear present because its revealed to me just how unaware I've been in my life, and I'm overstating my own awareness right now in accurately categorising my own lack of awareness in the past. As intuited, even though my last post of the day linked in my previous journal only add a layer to this realisation it very much has felt now like both the final piece of a transformation and the first piece of a future one that I've barely scratched the surface of. And that's what's scary, who the fuck am I going to be in one months time, much more, who am I going to be just at the end of the year let alone years down the line? And I haven't even had any psychedelics yet. My journal is going to naturally now take a new turn, a slight refurbishment and we'll let that play out on its natural course I guess however I hope that at the very least overtime, representing these transitions to graduations as they're generated within my consciousness is the smartest intuitive approach to getting the most visceral self-knowledge for the reader from this project as opposed to just always being say formal and representative of purely what's "easier" to read and cognitively synthesize, as its then without the invisible background behind this journal that's picked up more from the readers intuition rather than something that's explicitly stated for myself. Question everything I express in this journal for the benefit of your own evolution. Believe nothing except your deepest intelligence that leads you to taking that next step forward in the way that is truest to you. Where is Chad going now? Don't ask. I think he just got a notification on SnapChat again.

@Ero I haven’t learned much past those topics as of now. I am working on a paper for how to share resources more fairly using bachelor’s level mathematics, so I consider myself an amateur mathematician. You may have a point, but I’m not sure what you could teach on a black board that you couldn’t also teach in an online format. I don’t see how lectures on elliptic functions or singular cohomology couldn’t be taught online in the same way that arithmetic and topology are taught online. My guess is that the number of people who teach graduate level mathematics is low, and people who teach online and who specialize in higher level mathematics is incredibly rare, not that these topics couldn’t be taught in an online format in the future. You are correct about proof writing though, as that requires practice and someone to correct the work. My broader point is that math education should focus on what the math is even about first, then discuss the theorems and the proofs. For example, I had a weak understanding of linear algebra in uni. I knew that determinants could calculate the hypervolumes of parallelepipeds and that a matrix is invertibile iff its determinant was not 0, but I had no idea what these disjoint concepts had to do with one another. It wasn’t until 3B1B’s series on linear algebra where it became clear to me how matrices transform vector spaces in a way which is “linear”, and how the determinant tells you how much the matrix transforms the hypervolumes of unit hypercubes. So when the determinant is 0, that means the hypercubes are flattened, meaning the linear transformation is not one-to-one, meaning the matrix is not invertible. It would have taken my professor half an hour at most to explain this and it would have made every subsequent theorem and proof related to determinants make more sense. There is one class I took which I don’t consider a waste of time and money. It was a topology course I took in graduate school which utilized the Moore method. Essentially, the professor gave no lectures, we were not allowed to read any text books, or use online sources. All we had was a pamphlet which started with two axioms for topology, some definitions based on those axioms, and then statements based on those axioms and definitions. We were not told which statements were true and which were false, and it was up to us to either prove or disprove the statement. As the pamphlet progressed, more definitions and statements were added which were based on the axioms, definitions, and statements prior in the pamphlet. Lectures were essentially students presenting there results to the class. My only gripe with this class is that I would teach it backwards. It started with very abstract concepts and from them it built more tangible structures. For example, it started with topologies, then discussed the separation axioms 1-4, then it went to metric spaces, and finally got to the real number line. I would start with the more intuitive structures, and then chisel away at them until all that remained were the axioms of topology, as this is closer to how topology was created in the first place. This class encouraged critical, independent, and creative thinking, as well as strengthened my proof writing more than any lecture-homework-study-test-repeat style class, and its not even close. If more math classes were like this, I wouldn’t consider bachelor level’s mathematics courses a waste of time and money.

Let me preface this by saying that I'm not denying that you might have had an authentic transformation away from being constantly lost in thought to living more peacefully. Nevertheless, that is not something Spiral Dynamics tracks, despite how popular a belief that is. The key feature of the transformation from Yellow to Turquoise is not less time spent on thinking. It's how you think. The idea that thinking is a waste of time is a religious idea you can put on and off like clothing. It doesn't have to reflect a deep transformation of cognition.

The idea that thinking is a waste of time is a religious idea you can put on and off like clothing. It doesn't have to reflect a deep transformation of cognition. As for the transformation from Yellow to Turquoise, the key feature is not less time spent on thinking. It's how you think.

That's amazing! Hey before we think about degrees and stuff, are you interested in discussing what physics is? My favourite subject was physics too while I was in college. I didn't know why then but I guess now I know. I suggest we keep it simple and discuss examples as opposed to getting too technical and definitiony. Let's list three things in our surroundings that involves physics and it's concepts - 1. A rotating fan 2. Snapping of fingers 3. Motion of a fly You can choose your own list of three things. Now instead of contemplating ourselves, we are gonna take the help of Claude. Pasting our chat here.. "Hey Claude how's you! I wanna understand what's physics is at the most fundamental level. Please note that I said I want to 'understand' means it must hit me that oh yes ofcourse this is physics. I want to experience it. Rather than theorizing about it. So what I did is I chose three things in my surroundings that involves physics and its concepts - - A rotating fan - Snapping of fingers - Motion of a fly Through these examples, let's contemplate what why how physics fit into this. Basically what's the relationship between these three and physics?" "Claude - I appreciate your desire to truly understand and experience physics rather than just theorize about it. Let's explore these three examples to help you grasp the fundamental nature of physics. 1. A rotating fan: Physics is essentially about matter, energy, and their interactions. In a rotating fan, we see these principles in action: - Energy conversion: Electrical energy is converted into mechanical energy of motion. - Forces: The motor exerts a torque (rotational force) on the blades. - Angular momentum: The fan blades' rotation demonstrates conservation of angular momentum. - Air pressure: As the blades spin, they create areas of high and low pressure, moving air. When you observe the fan, notice how it starts slowly and speeds up, how the air moves around it, and how it gradually slows down when turned off. These are all physics principles at work. 2. Snapping of fingers: This quick action involves several physics concepts: - Friction: Your thumb slides rapidly across your middle finger, building up potential energy. - Elastic potential energy: Your skin briefly deforms, storing energy. - Energy release: The stored energy is suddenly released as your finger hits your palm. - Sound waves: The impact creates a pressure wave in the air - the snap sound you hear. - Speed: The entire process happens in a fraction of a second, demonstrating physics at high speeds. Next time you snap your fingers, pay attention to the force you apply, the brief resistance you feel, and the sharp sound produced. That's physics in action. 3. Motion of a fly: A fly's flight is a marvel of physics: - Forces: The fly generates lift to overcome gravity, and thrust to move forward. - Fluid dynamics: Air behaves as a fluid, and the fly's wings manipulate this fluid to fly. - Energy transformation: Chemical energy from food is converted into kinetic energy of motion. - Momentum: The fly's ability to change direction rapidly demonstrates conservation of momentum. - Vibrations: The buzzing sound comes from rapid wing oscillations, another physics principle. Watch a fly closely. Notice its erratic movements, how it hovers, and how it can land on any surface. Each action is a demonstration of physics principles. The relationship between these examples and physics is that physics describes and explains the fundamental principles governing their behavior. It's not just a set of equations, but a way of understanding how the universe works at its most basic level. By observing and contemplating these everyday phenomena, you're experiencing physics firsthand. The next step would be to start asking questions: Why does the fan create a breeze? How fast do your fingers move when snapping? How many times per second does a fly's wing beat? These questions lead to deeper understanding and are the essence of physics - curiosity about how the world around us works." So this is some juice we got through this chat - "Physics is a way of understanding how the universe works at its most basic level." "The essence of physics is curiosity about how the world around us works." Let's continue with its essence - curiosity about how the world around us works. Now this is something we humans have naturally. We have been curious since we were kids. This curiosity however tends to die out when we get answers to everything. Without seeing it/understanding it for ourselves. When we get paradigm locked. I feel so lucky to have this flame of curiosity still alive within me. If you too have this curiosity, please cherish it. Nurture it. Explore it. Live it. Also, if you have noticed yet, we already have gone beyond Phd in physics in a sense.. What? How? So just a few moments before we were curious about 'curiosity' itself. This is also physics. Who's to say what physics is and what it isn't? For me business is also physics..or rather application of physics. As we need to understand how market works, how mind works. So be open to the possibility that the things you are calling shallow might be even greater than the things you consider the highest. Ok I guess that's enough physics for the day. Or shall I say metaphysics 😊 Goodluck with your future brother! I trust that you'll get your shit together..and pursue truth in your own style, in your own physics. And when you do, you will rise above the ashes like a physics phoenix. ⚛️

googled now and it says: « The biblical meaning of your left eye twitching indicates a warning of impending bad luck or even death, but it can also symbolize spiritual awakening, transformation, or the need for deeper spiritual insight. Such occurrences might even prompt a call to forgive past grievances or to let go of the past and focus on the present.« anywho maybe it’s also parasites roaming around and having a good time around my eye or it’s probably just……. nothing

Social skills coaching with an experienced coach is really valuable. No ammount of talk therapy or online coaching is as effective as infield training, but the 4k for 3 days is overpiced unless its 1 on 1 and you have cash to burn, and you are a hardcase newbie. And even then there is only so much transformation that can happen in 3 days. An experienced wing is even more valuable, but may be difficult to find a quality one. Where are you based? EU, US? Living in a good city is key for developing social skills. Do you have that going for you ?

8th session of kayaking this year Paddled for 8 km with my girlfriend yesterday. This was her first time kayaking. It was really nice, she really enjoyed it. I took a break from my meditation practice for a while. Somehow my focus shifted to exercise when I started kayaking again. Didn't kayak an awful lot this summer, only 8 times so far, but the kayaking triggered an interest in weight-lifting again, and I've been working with kettlebells for some time now. However my girllfriend and I went on a buddhist seminar 31st of August to 1st of September (saturday and sunday) in the tradition she has been practicing in - Nichirin Buddhism in the SGI tradition. They chant the Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo there, which is a celebration of and reflection on the Lotus Sutra. I felt really inspired about this practice, so I have been chanting this chant for at least 30 min per day since this seminar. Yesterday I discussed this practice with ChatGPT and I got some really interesting answers. This is what I asked: So I'm experimenting with SGI buddhism these days. Chanting Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo. What benefits could this give me compared to the normal breath awareness / vipassana practice I usually do? This is what ChatGPT answered: Chanting Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo, as practiced in SGI Buddhism, is centered around connecting with your inner potential and manifesting positive changes in life through vocalizing the chant. It’s a form of active meditation that can offer different benefits compared to breath awareness or Vipassana meditation. Here are some key distinctions and potential benefits: Focus on Transformation: Chanting in SGI Buddhism is seen as a practice of shifting your inner state and bringing about external change. The idea is that by chanting, you align with the fundamental law of life and activate the ability to overcome challenges. This could complement your breath awareness practice by introducing a more vocal, outwardly expressive form of cultivating inner change. Energy and Vibration: Chanting Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo is rhythmic and vocal, which can generate a powerful energetic experience. The vibration of chanting might lead to a different kind of emotional release and stimulation compared to the silent, contemplative nature of Vipassana, where the emphasis is on observing sensations and thoughts without interference. Immediate Engagement: Chanting may help when you’re feeling distracted or agitated, as it provides an active focal point, making it easier to engage the mind compared to breath awareness practices that can feel more passive. The repetition can create a strong, immediate sense of concentration. Community Connection: SGI Buddhism often involves group chanting, which can provide a sense of community and collective support. This could be a contrast to the more solitary nature of Vipassana and might introduce a feeling of being part of something larger, which could influence your spiritual development differently. Affirmation of Goals and Desires: SGI Buddhism encourages chanting with a focus on manifesting concrete goals in life. This can be appealing if you’re looking to reinforce intentions or desires more explicitly, whereas Vipassana tends to focus on insight and acceptance without striving toward specific outcomes. Each approach offers unique paths toward personal growth. Experimenting with both might provide you with a balance of active, transformative energy through chanting and the grounded, mindful awareness from Vipassana.

ChatGPT- As someone committed to living truthfully, the tension between a concept like Qi and the desire for truth can be challenging, especially if you’re balancing personal experience with intellectual honesty. Here's how you can approach this, integrating both holistic and rational views without compromising your dedication to truth: ### 1. **Experiential Truth vs. Objective Truth** There are different forms of truth. Western science tends to focus on **objective truth**, which is measurable, repeatable, and quantifiable. Qi, on the other hand, often falls into the realm of **experiential truth**—subjective, personal, and felt on an individual level. If you experience sensations, healing, or transformation through Qigong, those experiences are *your truth*, even if they aren’t yet fully validated by scientific methods. Living truthfully here means honoring both your experience and recognizing the limitations of current scientific understanding. Instead of needing science to fully validate Qi, you can hold space for what’s personally true for you while remaining open to continued inquiry and exploration. ### 2. **Pragmatic Truth: Does It Work?** Another way to live truthfully is by focusing on **pragmatism**: does Qigong, and by extension, the concept of Qi, work in practice? If the practice helps you achieve balance, health, mental clarity, or emotional resilience, then it has value, regardless of whether Qi has been fully scientifically proven. In this sense, you live truthfully by recognizing the practical benefits of a system without needing to over-explain or justify it in terms that others might demand. Qi could be understood as a useful framework that helps you navigate your mind-body connection, whether it's literally "life force energy" or a powerful metaphor for physiological, psychological, or bioelectric processes that science is still uncovering. ### 3. **Integrative Approach: Embrace Both Eastern and Western Perspectives** To live truthfully, you don’t need to dismiss one system in favor of the other. You can hold both views simultaneously: - **Western Science**: Provides valuable insights into physiology, neurology, and biochemistry, explaining how the body functions in measurable ways. - **Eastern Wisdom**: Offers a broader, more holistic view that integrates the mind, body, emotions, and consciousness through concepts like Qi. You can acknowledge the power of scientific inquiry while also appreciating the intuitive, experiential insights offered by traditions like Qigong. Living truthfully here means recognizing that each system has strengths and weaknesses, and both contribute to a fuller understanding of life and health. ### 4. **Openness to Evolving Knowledge** Another important aspect of living truthfully is embracing uncertainty and openness. Just because Qi isn’t fully validated by Western science now doesn’t mean it’s false. Science evolves. There are many historical examples where traditional knowledge (e.g., acupuncture, meditation) was once dismissed and later supported by scientific research. Living truthfully means being open to the idea that there are aspects of life, health, and consciousness that science has yet to fully understand. You can maintain a sense of curiosity and inquiry, continuing to explore both the benefits of Qi and the growing research on how mind-body practices work. ### 5. **Mindful Skepticism** Living truthfully also involves avoiding dogma. Even within Qigong or Chinese medicine, it’s possible to be critical and discerning. Not every claim about Qi needs to be accepted blindly. Mindful skepticism allows you to explore the depth of these practices without becoming dogmatic or uncritical. You can question how Qi is described or applied in different contexts, and through that questioning, refine your understanding of what resonates as true for you. ### 6. **Seeing Qi as a Model or Metaphor** One way to reconcile Qi with a rational, truth-seeking mindset is to see it as a **model or metaphor** rather than a literal force. In science, models are used to simplify complex phenomena. Qi can be seen in this way—it's a model for understanding the body and mind as an interconnected system. It helps practitioners work with their bodies in ways that promote health, even if the exact mechanisms aren’t fully understood or explained in Western terms. Living truthfully in this case means appreciating Qi as a useful, functional framework without needing to commit to it as a literal "life force." It can represent the dynamic flow of energy, blood, neural impulses, or emotions, and you can interpret it in a way that feels grounded in both tradition and logic. ### 7. **Respecting Cultural and Personal Contexts** Truth isn't always universal in the same way across cultures. Traditional Chinese views of health and energy offer different insights than Western science, and living truthfully means respecting the cultural origins of these ideas. Instead of forcing a purely Western scientific explanation onto something like Qi, you can appreciate that different cultures have different ways of understanding life and the body, and both offer valid forms of truth in their respective contexts. ### Conclusion: To live truthfully in the context of Qi, you can take an **integrative approach** that honors your personal experiences, the practical benefits of Qigong, and the evolving nature of scientific understanding. You don't have to choose between accepting Qi as a mystical force or dismissing it because science hasn’t yet fully validated it. You can hold both perspectives in balance, continually exploring, questioning, and refining your understanding as both science and your personal practice evolve. By staying open to different forms of truth—experiential, pragmatic, and scientific—you can maintain a grounded, honest approach to your journey without being restricted by a single worldview.

Just make meta baseline and turn paradigms into everyday words like verbs Let every word be a noun, verb, adjective, and adverb simultaneously And then just replace all function words with them as you navigate Contextualize paradigms holistically and flow through them 😁 Most importantly: play around and have fun like: The metamorphic fabric of reality reflects the psyche that structures the experience in response to stimuli, which themselves are a higher-level metaphysical construct, at least practically speaking, across layers of interconnected holarchies, which dynamically evolve the very organism they are a part of in a give and take, emerging ever new structures in the creative act of self-transformation and optimization🥳 I'm mostly in the process of condensing hgher layer concepts, because there are so many. But then you wonder about the levels of depth and specificity, and how to maintain it. And then you wonder what is and isn't necessary and so you look at it like: Life, everything I said can be summarized with life Life is Metamorphisis, life is dynamic intelligence Life is evolution, life is self-structured Everything we study and are fascinated by is touched by it And then you can expand Life into 2 words, 3, 10, 100, 1000, 10000 And you wonder what is and isn't purposeful

There's definitely some truth to this. Those who are highly spiritually advanced and have already been through significant transformation can actually perceive the assimilation of sexual fluids into a type of fuel that powers a more sophisticated consciousness. This relates directly to kundalini and how it operates. The sexual use of this fuel has the predictable impact of temporarily lessening the potential for higher consciousness while it's restored. I'm not skilled enough to perceive this myself, but I have an enormous amount of faith that it's the case. I'm pretty sure, but I think it's less obvious than the male counterpart, with the way a vital fluid is suddenly and directly excreted. I don't see why the mechanisms wouldn't be similar or the same for females though.