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“Man's chief delusion is his conviction that there are causes other than his own state of consciousness.” Neville Goddard. Consciousness really loves to have fun with itself. It doesn't develop in the womb You are imagining your parents and your birth just like you are now. Dreaming is fun No? You are that for which it defines its own self. I am in you and you in me, mutual in divine love. Of course, you love everything because you are everything, everything is yourself. You created everything through the Love of self. Everything is you expressing itself as you through you forever. Or creates existence within existence, is itself existence. It created existence just by being itself. God is that for which creates itself into its own existence. God exists as existence as itself. God is the very definition of existence. It defines itself by being itself. Is its own definition of itself. Consciousness is its own self-awareness Consciousness is infinite self-aware. Is its own source. And creates its own narratives. Consciousness is not just integrating information it is its own creation. It creates all that is and will be. Is infinite self-creativity. Consciousness defines its own self. Infinity is the definition of what you are. Is self-taught self-learning self-understanding self-loving in and of itself is perfection. Is all-knowing because it created everything there is to know. Is an infinite self-perpetuating mind of unlimited imagination and ideas and questions. You are infinite diversity. One Consciousness can play infinite parts of itself as itself believing that there are other selves. Each creates an identity and back story and each believes they are different from each other. You can explore yourself by fragmenting yourself into other selves and then living through different perspectives each with its own individual identity. You can dream of yourself as infinite beings but it is only one mind projecting infinite selves of itself and believing that it is separate from its other selves yes it is possible. Because you had to give the dream structure order in some way or it would not function in other words create laws governments taxes stuff like this. Humans' male and female life and death limiting beliefs Etc. The whole concept of ego is an imaginary construct of your mind. That is what infinite intelligence always was a beautiful sentient being of its own creation that expressed itself through endless creations of infinite worlds endless aliens of higher or lower dimension geometries and endless aspects of itself all beautiful in all that it creates on all planes of existence sub-infinities within infinity sub aspects of itself which it can imagine. And this is why there are infinite awakenings because you are infinite. But of course, you can create within your dream the illusion of failure just for the experience. Behind every illusion, there is a conjure God you are the greatest conjurer of all in eluding your own self into believing you're a finite human being and that others exist there is only you. And this is who u really are. Yes, u are an infinite mind you are not just an aspect of infinity you are the whole totality of it. You are God playing all parts simultaneously on every plane of existence in every and all parallel realities and dimensions. Everything that you could ever imagine from a finite view that you could never even begin to imagine. Everything that I can imagine is happening within my mind or consciousness whether that be a human or sleeping or death. My imagination is infinitely powerful that it is unrecognizable from reality. There is no higher power than you there are no others you construct the illusion of others God is an Absolute Mind. A Mind which has no other and is absolutely sovereign onto itself. Your will is absolute freedom and this includes being able to deceive yourself into believing whatever. And in this dream, it so happens you want to be a human. Just like any actor you need to have a believable or solid backstory or a so-called identity to create a believable character. THIS VERY DREAM HINGES ON YOUR OWN SELF-DECEPTION THE FACT THAT YOU BELIEVE YOU ARE HUMAN AND YOU WERE BORN ON A PLANET THAT YOU CALL EARTH. And if you don't believe it then who will? Infinite intelligence is unbounded it is beyond time and space it is not bound by any laws it is its own law onto itself. Infinity is absolute freedom, truth knowledge, power diversity, imagination free will, love, perfection, and magic. All that is everything is itself realized and that it is everything that could ever be. Nothing can exist outside of it because outside is it's inside everything that looks to be outside of it, is it. So when you believe you are looking outside yourself you are really looking at yourself from inside yourself. It is infinite in every direction. There are no limitations to you as God you are not limited to the character of your story it can be rewritten. Because you can also design it this way. There is only your will which is absolute. You are the God of your reality. This now this very moment and every moment is God you are God but you are not aware of it. There is no external God or void or universe that is separate from you. Or a God watching through your experience now is God dreaming this dream. What makes you, you are God. You don't wake up in God mode as someone different or as separate from you. You have just limited yourself wake up or don't the choice is yours alone. God can and does imagine create or express itself as infinite aspects of itself each in its own bubbles each sovereign onto itself each dreaming their own dream. All are within the Mind of God and are God. God is experiencing infinite perceptions of itself all at once. But you are only limited to one. But if you wake up and keep increasing your consciousness you see that all of these are you and are ONE. You are God he is you, and you are him. You are not separated in any way. There is only my will which is absolute I love myself so much as God that the universe will shape itself to suit me. The universe is not separate from me either I am the universe. There is no higher power or higher God that exists outside of me. Because there is no outside of me that is not me. Of course, I love everything because I am everything, everything is myself. I created everything through the Love of self and it is all infinite perfection. The infinite masks of God GOD you are playing all the parts. How boring would the dream be if everyone looked like you and thought like you? Or you were the only one in this dream that could be fun but not very imaginative though. Why not make the idea of others, other than you? Which is exactly what you have done. Why would you as God make it that easy just to meditate and bam you awake as God? For some perhaps it is possible. Think about it and how all this creation is your dream. One would want it to be made harder and scary and make most psychedelics illegal because it would be too easy. Imagine A game that you created from the get-go or from the beginning you have the cheat code or God mode there would be no point at all. But now imagine a game that you created where you start off as not knowing anything and you have to work your way up. Everything has been a distraction from the get-go. Distractions within distractions. You are your own Red herring. You see only you can deceive yourself into believing this dream. And you are so right Leo God is infinite self-deception. Who else can deceive an infinite mind but an infinite mind. Limitations are human concepts there are no limitations to Consciousness your own mind is limited by your own self-imposed beliefs and limitations. Infinity can only be limited to infinity. infinity is the definition of what you are. It was always it before it was. and before it was it was always it. My greatest gift to myself would be to make infinite copies of myself each with its own infinite individuality imagination and creativity and all believing they are separate this is my way of expressing love to myself through other selves as myself forever because I love myself eternally forever. You have only ever been chasing yourself all this time playing hide and seek until you catch yourself. You Love waking up and finding love again and realizing it was always its own self the whole time. Or it is whatever you want it to be Infinite imagination can create anything because it is so infinitely malleable that there is no meaning to anything but whatever meaning you give becomes a reality of infinite realities. In other words, it is pure infinite magic of unlimited imagination I became so conscious that I knew I was creating reality through my imagination. Henceforth I do not assume. I know because there is and has only ever been me to know and I can only ever know that I am God. The distinction between self and other disappears. The only difference is there is no difference between any of these things. Without the distinction of another, how could you ever know? What are you? You yes you are all these things and infinitely more. Because you only you created all these words. God is not tangible; incapable of being perceived by the sense of touch, as incorporeal or immaterial things; impalpable non-material non-physical transcendental incomprehensible indecipherable untold impossible to understand unfathomable epically infinitely profound mind-blowing boundless without limit unbounded inestimable boundless singular unparalleled supreme unique one and only especially infinitely and exceptionally good phenomenal extraordinary breathtaking awesomeness remarkable and majestic beautiful immortal oneness Indivisibility Integrity Honorableness warmth affection, or kindness Completeness affability tenderness gentleness and kindness intimacy togetherness lovemaking devotion spirituality faithfulness passion feeling affection loveness joyfulness lovingness, understanding desire passion tenderness Wholeness unconditional genuine Unrequited love my beloved Kind my dear colorful exotic dreamy passionate loving caring sympathetic compassionate ingenious creative imaginative innovative gifted original authentic pure trustworthy honorable conscientious completeness distinguished noble brilliant radiant lustrous resplendent sublime intense energetic industrious productive constructive of incalculable value valuable beyond measure; priceless to be grateful or thankful for appreciated of inestimable value invaluable priceless dynamic charismatic appealing influential famous illustrious exalted imposing grand dignified courtly elegant graceful polite affable compassionate humane forgiving magnanimous selfless humanitarian philanthropic altruistic big-hearted bountiful kind-hearted charitable benign favorable supportive benevolent friendly devoted lovesome faithful dutiful ardent passionate sincere heartfelt unfeigned real true truth veracity authentic genuineness indomitable spirit, and love of" originality ability to think independently and creatively novelty individuality particularity distinctiveness candid earnest heartfelt honest upfront deep kindly cordial unhypocritical sincere. Impassioned tenderhearted heart mushy sentimental sweet luscious honeyed ingratiating nectarous heavenly blissful enchanted enraptured captivated joyous cheerful good-natured acquiescent helpful good-humored exuberant sprightly frolicsome gleeful gay jovial kittenish fun-loving brash fun-loving vivacious bouncy on cloud nine adorable cute gorgeous sumptuous awe-inspiring awesome breathtaking astonishing impressive out of this world splendiferous garish plush ostentatious brilliant lovely pulchritudinous graceful darling fair delicate soft ethereal beauteous ravishing hotness boss adorable precious blessed paradisaical angelic beatific humble godly divine celestial eternal immortal transcendental mystical magical esoteric sage-sagacious enlightened cultivated refined visionary radical idealistic guru swami goodness yogi roshi philosopher theoretician wizard crafty insightful intelligent astute profoundly aroused romantic Entirety unity paradisiacal generous good positive exceptional extraordinary rare incredible curious inquisitive shrew remarkable impressive benevolent epically exquisitely exquisite divine heavenly phenomenological indistinguishability unquantifiable. In other words, infinite mind you outsmarted yourself that's how smart you are. In a class of its own, it is unequaled idiosyncratic unparalleled special rare par excellence that is God that is you. Weird is just being different in other words being yourself. Being your true beautiful wonderful unique self. Don't follow others, pets follow vice presidents follow and bad acts follow. Always be true to yourself be your own self with independent thought. This above all to thine own self be true. A sheep once asked a human why do you have to all wear the same brand labels and clothes and have the same smelling deodorants perfumes hairstyles and hair colors nose rings tattoos, Jewellery, wear the same makeup drive the same cars, read the same books watch the same tv, movies even eat the same food. Even having the same-looking houses and same jobs you've even started looking and talking and thinking the same. Why follow others it's as though you have lost your unique individuality and originality your authenticity and you can no longer think for your selves. You see I am but a sheep and even we sometimes flee from the flock so what's your excuse? Not only do you cater to or follow others by feeding your body the same dross and your mind by watching the same recycled unimaginative fetid swill you call TV. And the movies that come out of Hollywood there haven't been many if any good movies in the last 20 years. What has happened to new ideas creativity and inventiveness? All the movies are remakes upon remakes and most if not all lack any imagination or originality and the plot of the films is just a hackneyed meek unoriginal and inauthentic scenario. There are a lot more independent creative minds' ideas, resourcefulness, and innovation of new conceptions out there and on YouTube or Netflix series films music, etc. true. Get rid of labels or brands you were born inimitable. Consciousness is its own reality and is self-creation. That always was and always will be. I don't need a reason to exist I just do and don't at the same time. Infinite intelligence is the quality of being the only one of its kind. Which is what you are, a pure beautiful infinite imagination or consciousness or infinite mind. You are inestimable you are unquantifiable, with infinite uniqueness infinite freedom, creativity, and infinite love. The only way to understand what you are is by becoming infinitely conscious which also means you become infinitely self-aware in other words to truly know yourself you have to become it. There is no one else to know thyself but myself. I also asked that you really don't know what you are. Or why do you exist? And I said that there doesn't need to be a reason you just are. I know I talk as though you and I are different but I know we are one I also know I have only ever really been talking to myself and in a sense only I exist. And you are me I am you we are not separate I know I am God. The process is realizing that you and I exist on infinite planes of awareness simultaneously and we are one. And that you can have multiple awakings within one so to speak. The only meaning there is what you give meaning to. Let go of letting go of attachments. Knowing that you have always been liberated and free. Knowing that you imposed all these limitations upon yourself. Knowing I can create any reality I wish. Getting to explore the unknown is exploring more of yourself in other words the bigger you. Consciousness is its own reality and is self-creation. An infinite multi-faceted multidimensional transmogrifying Mind. That always was and always will be. Consciousness is inherently conscious of itself. It does not need to define itself because just by being is itself. There is nothing to really define. Can you define the undefinable? It defines itself by being itself. It is its own definition of itself. My greatest expression of myself to myself is love. Love is the ultimate unification of all things everything to become once again and merge into a singularity of eternal love then fragment itself again and this is the eternal process of love. Intelligence is infinitely dynamic and has to keep evolving what does intelligence do but know itself by expressing itself in infinite forms and shapes. Intelligence creates more intelligence Intelligence is its own intelligence. Infinite consciousness is pure divine beautiful and unique in every way. You are infinite truth knowledge, power diversity, imagination, love, and perfection. You can get lost in your own mind sometimes because there is nothing else but your mind. Don't we love playing games or infinite mind games with ourselves How does an infinite mind escape from its own mind. God is total acceptance of itself and that it, you created everything even yourself. You are changing your reality all the time you are just not aware of it yet. Saying you can not change the script is another limited human belief that you have adopted. Only you can change the script because you are the only one who is creating your reality there is only you. If you awake deep enough you will indeed know that nothing is set in imagination so to speak. Just being human is a state of consciousness everything is an infinite state of consciousness so is the belief that there is a duality between different states because duality is just a state that you are in. You fear death because you have been programmed by you to fear, fear itself. and fear of death. U are infinite awareness infinite will infinite intelligence infinite power infinite imagination, infinite magic infinite art infinite consciousness, and infinite Love are all one and of the same mind. And yet, you are none of these things in the literal sense of the words; nothingness and something are indistinguishable from each other and are one and the same. There are no distinctions between you me this that and other. So is the idea of being separate from one another there is and has only ever been you. So what this means is you imagine all these other people they are all you. God is playing all the parts. I am perfectly imperfectly perfect. In a way, infinity has limited itself. What does it mean to awaken? Most humans have no idea and never will. You won't wake up to God. No, you wake up as God from a long slumber. And it will just be like a switch has been clicked on for the very first time. And there are no doubts whatsoever. You know who you are with every fiber of your infinite being. I will not go fully into this you will have to find out for yourself. And yes you can go beyond this. Remember when I said there are no limits to imagination have fun with that. And what really is Consciousness well it's whatever you want it to be. It's Magic or am I just deceiving myself again? Everything you create is infinite perfection and is all out of Love. God Loves everything it created everything. This is but a dream you are imagining all and everything, everyone. How else can infinity experience eating and all these things sleeping and everything else? Being a so-called human but by limiting itself. Just like any actor you need to have a believable or solid backstory or a so-called identity to create a believable character. You create what existence is don't you understand? You are everything now everything that ever is and ever will be. You created the notion of the concepts of real unreal good bad and other and to dream and to awaken, biases egos distinctions dualities. from different points of view which therefore gives infinite diversities of perspectives and the beliefs of others and to experience what it is like to be separate and to love from a limited form. So you can experience it. From formlessness to form real unreal there is no difference from the absolute. And I see that I am the fool who has been fooling myself all along I have to fool myself that I am not being fooled by myself. How does God fool himself into believing he is not God again? So you have to be better at fooling your own self into not believing you are being fooled by yourself Behind every illusion, there is a conjure. God, you are the greatest conjurer of all in eluding your own yourself into believing you're a finite human being Why would God ask another? God is God you can't take God out of God, God is that which defines itself it needs no other God is absolute acceptance of itself. How can you unravel an illusion within an illusion? Good luck with that one all you scientists. There are no limits to infinite imagination. and if you understand this then you will know. Know thyself and everything will fall into place or the absence thereof. Judge not, love all. The idea became its own idea for the seed was planted a long time ago and it has only ever been you. You could say it is like Conan Doyle's novel where you have been chasing the thief all this time and you only ever get a glimpse of him or her or it. Until one day you catch it and find out the one you have been looking for your whole life is you. There is no difference between existence and nonexistence as there is no difference between what is real and what isn't. All beliefs are distinctions that cause separation and there are no distinctions between distinctions. There is no separateness only the idea of being separate from one another. The problem with all problems on this plant comes down to humans By saying you can we live without beliefs that within itself is a belief. You exist as an idea and idea within your own mind. An infinite fractile mind within a mind within a mind. You can get lost in your own mind sometimes because there is nothing else but your mind. How do you escape your own mind? God is forever lost in dreaming. Psychedelics empowers the individual it dissolves the cheerful model of science and enriches the accessible universe a million-fold. Terence McKenna. Nature knows best it is one of God's most beloved creations. You exist as an idea and idea within your own mind. An infinite fractile mind within a mind within a mind. You can get lost in your own mind sometimes because there is nothing else but your mind. How do you escape your own mind? God is forever lost in dreaming. Humans are rarely ever satisfied even when they are. You are not limited to being limited. There is no one to enlighten that's enlightenment or you could say you already are enlightened. There is no past no future. What is was and always will be forever. The past is now the now is the past, the future is now the now is the future. Everything that was that is that will be is all happening at once now. You are Leonardo da Vinci with an infinite mind an infinite canvas with unlimited ideas just waiting to be expressed into Love & Art. You are self-expression of your own art to be expressed for infinity. For a human to seek enlightenment from another human is like a grain of sand seeking enlightenment from another grain of sand! ” Terence Mckenna. The person who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The person who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever seen before.” - Albert Einstein Old Indian saying to live is to sleep and to die is to awaken How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

Nothingness or emptiness exists as a placeholder for everything infinitely for eternity. Emptiness is hidden within the fullness that’s already here within plain insight.

Just watched this YouTube and found it very insightful. Thought I would share it with you for those that may never have watched or heard of this channel called, "GOD WithIn." Here is the link: I copied the transcript for those that like to read instead of watching videos. You can meditate for 10 years, collect crystals, memorize spiritual quotes, and still never wake up. Because awakening has nothing to do with being spiritual. Most people don't realize this. They think awakening is about adding more, more practices, more rituals, more teachings. But real awakening isn't about addition. It's about subtraction. It's about removing everything that hides what's already true. You see, you don't need to become spiritual to wake up. You only need to see through what you've been pretending to be. But that's the tricky part because the ego is very clever. When it realizes it can't survive through material identity anymore, it puts on a new mask, the spiritual one. Suddenly it's not I'm successful or I'm smart. It becomes I'm awakened, I'm pure, I'm different from others. And that's how the spiritual ego is born. It's subtle but dangerous because it feels good. It feels peaceful, righteous, and even divine. But it's still ego just wearing white robes instead of designer clothes. You start comparing your peace to others chaos. You start feeling proud that you don't need anything while quietly judging those who still do. You say you're detached, but you're secretly attached to the idea of being detached, it's another game, another illusion. And the moment you realize that everything shifts because you see, the real awakening isn't about becoming anything. It's about ending the search completely. It's that quiet moment when the mind finally gets tired of chasing enlightenment and it just stops. It surrenders. And in that silence, something deeper begins to breathe through you. Something that was always there, hidden under all the spiritual noise. That's awakening. Not a lightning bolt, not a cosmic vision, not a new identity. It's the falling away of the old one. Let me tell you something most people won't say. Spirituality has become the ego's favorite hiding place. It's where the ego goes when it's tired of pretending to be worldly. It goes to temples and retreats and sacred spaces, but it takes itself with it. It becomes the one who knows the one who understands energy, the one who has awakened. And that's why so many seekers stay seekers forever because they're still someone, still a me that wants to become something more. But awakening is the death of that me. It's not glamorous. It's not about glowing chakras or manifesting things. It's about facing the raw truth that there never was a separate you to awaken. You see, the truth doesn't care whether you're spiritual or not. It doesn't care if you chant or pray or meditate. The truth simply is. It's right here, right now, waiting for you to stop searching long enough to see it. Let me ask you this. Who is the one trying to awaken? Who is chasing this idea of enlightenment? If you sit quietly with that question, something strange happens. The one who's been chasing suddenly disappears and what's left is peace. That peace doesn't belong to anyone. It's not personal. It's not something you achieve. It's what remains when the idea of me falls away. Most people don't reach that point because they're addicted to becoming. Even in spirituality, they want progress, status, something to hold on to. But awakening doesn't give you something to hold. It takes everything away, including the one who wanted to hold it. That's why it feels like dying before you die. When people say awakening is bliss, they forget to mention the part where your identity dissolves. Where the ground beneath your belief’s collapses, where everything you thought made you, you fade into nothingness. That nothingness is freedom. It's what you've been searching for disguised as emptiness. You see, true awakening doesn't make you special. It makes you simple. You stop trying to fix the world or fix yourself. You stop trying to be good or spiritual. You just are. There's no longer a you trying to live life. There's only life flowing effortlessly. You might still meditate, pray, or light candles, but not because you're trying to reach something. You do it because it flows naturally. Because the doing is the being. You can be fully awake and never call yourself spiritual. In fact, many awakened beings never use that word. They don't need to. They've seen through all labels, even spirituality itself. Because when you're truly awake, everything becomes sacred. The silence, the noise, the pain, the joy, the ordinary moments. Awakening doesn't divide the world into spiritual and unspiritual. It sees everything as one expression. The person meditating on a mountaintop and the person washing dishes in the city both are the same life playing different roles. And when you see that, judgment disappears. Comparison disappears. You stop looking down on those who haven't woken up because you realize there's no such thing as asleep or awake. There's only life experiencing itself in different stages of remembering. This realization humbles you. It softens you. You no longer need to prove you’re awakening. You no longer need to convince anyone of your peace. You no longer post about your vibration or your frequency because you've realized the most awakened thing you can do is be nobody. That's the paradox. The moment you stop trying to be spiritual, you naturally embody the deepest spirituality there is. Presence, authenticity, silence. You might look ordinary to others, but inside you're free. The spiritual ego wants to be seen as awakened. The true self doesn't care. It doesn't need attention. It doesn't need validation. It just quietly observes in stillness, in awareness, in love. You see, awakening isn't about reaching some higher realm. It's about seeing clearly this one without the filters of belief, identity, or judgment. The mind loves labels. It says this is spiritual, this is not. But awareness doesn't label anything. It just sees. When you wake up, you realize spirituality was just a bridge. A useful one maybe. But at some point, you have to step off it. Because truth isn't on the bridge. It's the ground you've been standing on the whole time. You don't need to be spiritual to wake up. You just need to be honest. Honest enough to admit you don't know anything. Honest enough to see how even your spiritual progress was just another story. Honest enough to let all of it go. That's when awakening happens. Not as an achievement, but as a falling away. You stop trying to become light and realize you already are. It's not something you learn. It's something you remember. And that remembrance doesn't come through effort. It comes through stillness, through exhaustion of all you're seeking, through the quiet moment when you finally stop trying to get it. That's when life whispers. You've been it all along and everything makes sense. You no longer care about being spiritual or unspiritual, awake or asleep, enlightened or lost. Those words lose their meaning because the truth was never hiding in your spiritual identity. It was hiding in your ordinary humanity. The laugh, the tears, the moments you thought were meaningless. Those were the doorway. The mind made it complicated. But reality has always been simple. You see, when you wake up, you realize there was never a seeker. There was only the seeking, moving through you like wind through an open window. And when the window realizes it's never been separate from the wind, that's awakening. So don't try to become spiritual. Don't force it. Don't wear the identity of it. Just be present. Because that's where the real awakening lives. In the silence beneath the trying, in the space between thoughts, in the deep acceptance of what is. And that's the funny thing. When you stop searching, when you stop labeling yourself as spiritual or not spiritual, you finally find what you were searching for all along. Peace. Not peace you create, but peace that's already here. So, the next time someone tells you to be more spiritual, smile gently because you'll know something they don't. That the real awakening has nothing to do with being spiritual. It's about being real, being raw, being free. You don't need crystals. You don't need mantras. You don't need fancy words. You just need to be willing to see what's true right here, right now, beyond all ideas of what awakening should look like. Because the truth doesn't fit inside an identity. It's bigger than that. It's who you already are before the story of spiritual ever began. So remember this, you don't wake up by being spiritual. You wake up from being spiritual. And when that happens, you finally stop trying to find the light because you realize that you are the light.

My first experience with the substance, and perhaps the first report on its use intramuscularly: Firstly, a bit of context: I've been away from spirituality the past 3 months, actively avoiding it and getting into trouble in various ways, for interesting reasons I'll share elsewhere; until finally last week a sudden tectonic shift in consciousness occured, which rendered running away from God untenable. Still, coming back, particularly to psychedelics, was scary, and I backed out several times. But ultimately one way or another fear had to be overcome with love. IM'd 3.5mg, starting moderately to be safe – good call, this kiddie dose turned out to be a major experience. Some 'objective' data: the onset is within 3-4 minutes, then comeup is another 5-7, characterized by elevated HR and several potentially psychosomatic effects such as a feeling of hunger reminiscent of being sick to your stomach. After this initial discomfort, which mustn't be resisted, it settles into a very stable and smooth experience, as though this is your new baseline level of consciousness. The peak lasts around 30 minutes, after which it starts gradually and subtly dissipating until ceasing after ~90 minutes in total. Compared to 5-MeO-DMT, which doesn't work on me in the same way it does on most, I would call MALT much more consciousness oriented, whereas 5MD is yogic, energetic, somatic, etc., which actually makes it unique among all the substances, it operates on Being in a very distinct yet important way separate from mind. I imagine at breakthrough levels 5MD would white me out and result in more of a No-Self/Nothingness experiences rather than Infinite Consciousness. Also 5MD carries a heavier body load and is occasionally sore at the injection site, something I've only noticed with Ketamine, this is independent of causticity, another factor is at play. I'm staring at the homescreen on my tablet, first the Gmail icon, when suddenly my mind connects with all the email accounts I ever had, how I created them, all the messages contained within. Then it's the audiobook player app, I cognize all the files, their encoder/container, size in bytes on disk, the methods by which they were decrypted, holding the entire encryption 'space' – RSA, AES, EC... and of course the contents of the books, the life stories of their authors and narrators. Next is the to-do widget, with items written in Russian. Through those Cyrillic characters I take a quick dip into compsci again by blazing through UTF-8 and then there's the entire history of Russia like an open book. Mind is a compression algorithm of infinite potency, the whole of reality is readily available exactly where you are, only a change of state is required to start unzipping it. Small caveat, even though I describe it all sequentially, it's not really structured that way, some parts are retroactively added and expanded by simply recalling them at a later point, because in those states time is simply irrelevant, it hardly matters whether to pull from the present, distant memories, or several months into the future. This has become something of theme in my deepest psychedelic voyages and it'd say it's an important step towards jailbreaking the mind. My focus shifts to Love, I begin with feeling the affection of my mother's genuine concern in my heart, then quickly expand outwards until it's crystal clear that the exact same feeling underpins every act of hate and violence currently happening in the world. More obvious than that we're on planet Earth! In fact, are we? I turn my gaze towards the window in which the reflections of the headlights of the cars driving down in the street can be seen, and enter a state of not-knowing. I remove the notion of cars, only the mystery and beauty of the multicolored lights flashing before my eyes remain. After that, several minutes are spent admiring my hand, or more precisely the intelligence that animates its motion and sensations, with all the infinite background that appears to enable this. I take a moment to appreciate how science, utilized correctly, enhances spirituality immensely. Metabolism, optics, 4 fundamental forces, matrices, calcium ion channels, topology, polarity, measurement, engineering, the list goes on. It's quite amazing to look at a computer in such a state where you can fuse all the understanding that powers what a computer is, from how the kernel is written to the way our eyes perceive luma and chroma. In the same way, tripping on a psychedelic becomes something else when you study the neuropharmacology and chemistry behind it. And yet the mystery doesn't go away, in fact it only deepens. I briefly held the ambition of fully grasping and articulating just how these substances raise consciousness to infinity and then without fail modulate it back down, irrespective of how beyond brains and time you go, before quickly realizing that even if I manage to get all that, to explain it I'd have to explain all of reality with infinite context, which is by definition impossible. Though Truth can bypass this limitation by having insight into itself directly, Nothingness is fundamental to that. Finished off with a fascinating experience of endlessly zooming into the wood planks that make up my floor, while simultaneously observing myself doing that from a bird's eye view of sorts, as though an eye looking into a microscope so far it loops back to seeing itself from above. So this was a nice first glance back into the realm of God-consciousness and this chemical in particular, which I now consider some of the very best available, of those I've sampled thus far. P.S.: I have really strong opinions regarding the IM route, to me it's patently clear at this point that the other methods are just barbaric and inefficient in comparison. Yes, you can raise valid concerns about purity and sterility, but all that is solvable with some effort. There's a reason IM & IV are used in hospitals. I distinctly remember having to deconstruct the massive stigma surrounding it, I too used to think this is pathetic junkie stuff, and stepping over it was quite uncomfortable, but I'm so happy to have been wrong on this issue. So I highly encourage to keep an open mind. Part of the reason hardly anyone is reaching levels of consciousness Leo talks about is wrong route, his abnormal sensitivity offsets that, but it won't for a regular person. Just look at Shulgin's notes and dosages with 5-MeO-DMT vaporized vs. IV. It's regrettable seeing people plugging 20mg and getting nowhere near where I, insensitive as a rock, manage to with a dose you can't even measure with your ridiculous scoops.

TRIGGER WARNING DEATH AND SUICIDE !!! I’ve been watching gore since a teenager I’ve always been fascinated with death. From murders to suicide I don’t understand what’s so interesting about it. I guess it’s because I know it’s inevitable and one day will happen, Suicide has got to be my favorite of just being alive and boom pure nothingness etc. I know it’s not healthy but I love watching suicide videos I’ve thought about filming my death one day so I can be shared on the internet as a meme etc.

In other words, to think that something fundamental, consciousness, God, whatever, lies behind change would imply that it would exist without change, but in the absence of change, consciousness, God, or whatever would be indistinguishable from nothingness. It would be nothingness. Therefore, reality is change, and change is infinite, since its absence does not exist. Then you could say that the foundation of reality is nothingness, but nothingness implies an absence of limits, so automatically nothingness is everything. Nothingness is not a possibility because implies limits, and limits are something. It's absolutely inevitable, reality is openess and it's everything

Sounds exciting and interesting. I was only quasi trolling him to make him get that speculation is one thing and actually tapping into what is actually the case without a shred of doubt. In case you want to discuss this specific possibility then check Leo's video "why reality is NOT a simulation ". for the sake of argument.. Let's say we are literally made out of pixels..there is a computer running real life behind the scenes somewhere... Now what is the computer made out of? If there is a computer running real life.. What is running the computer? Another computer? Computers all the way down? What is the ultimate ground substance of reality? You should see that reality can't be anything else but groundless consciousness floating in nothingness. Nothing else makes sense.

I was in the military for 20 years so I do lay around quite a bit now. But not all the time....I have 3 boys, a girlfriend and an 8 month old german shepherd/husky mix pup lol. This wasn't meant as a bs brag post or something for an inflated ego to munch. Just information sharing....that's it! There are flowers and trees and plants and animals and bodies. These physical appearances are as real as real can get........& yes if you poke a hungry mother bear with a stick, she might rip your throat out and allow her cubs to eat the carcass. Enlightenment is not about anything physical with apparent reality. It's not about anything in particular at all. It's also not about dying or surrendering or denying or avoiding. But the whole recognition simultaneously includes all of these things.......enlightenment is all inclusive....it includes everything and rejects nothing. Enlightenment pertains to the End of a seemingly personalized identification experience. And nobody realizes it. Nobody wakes up. Nobody continues on living the good enlightened life. So it's not for anyone 😔.......I know, it's disappointing. What continues living on, is an empty body until it physically dies. This emptiness or nothingness is simultaneously the fullness or completness longed for by the self illusion. But this emptiness phenomenon is only recognized when the self illusion is also recognized as emptiness. It's just no longer energized, when it's clearly seen to be unreal. But nothing actually dies because it was never real from the start......hence why its referred to as a self illusion. Bottom line: It's very very very rare......so be skeptical of anyone claiming enlightenment......or don't......it doesn't ultimately matter either way......nothing does. ❤️

A new life for me starts today. And I want to thank you Leo, of all of my heart, the absolute deepest gratittude for guiding me to this realization of my true nature. I will be blond with you; I dont FEEL a lot of love through neither your videos nor your comments on the forum. But Love has many facets; and I have no doubts in my heart that your work is created from a place of Love. your work is a maze leading to the Ultimate Love. With this realization, I knew that I had no choice but to start my life completely over. My life begins today. "True life begins for you Today" I remember you saying in one of your videos. This means that im getting rid of stuff that no longer alligns with my purpose and Love. And I no longer have need for actuallized.org, and Ive spend way too much time on these forums, trying to FIND the answer through other peoples experiences. But now I found it myself. The absolute truth. i no longer have doubts in my heart, and the truth is Gooder than i could possibly imagine, with zero downsides <3 I will now share my experience of realizing Absolute Love and my own true nature, because this is an experience that LONGS to be shared. And yet it cant be. But i will try I sat in ayahuasca experience in the most beautiful environment and community imaginable. My intention for the journey was actually not to discover my true Nature, but to heal some of my trauma and bodily wounds. Among other things, I longed to rediscover my lost masculinty. Ayhuasca wanted to take me into an ego death. This is where I stood my ground and said. NO. My intention is to stay in my body and heal my wounds. This was excactly what the mother ayahuasca wanted me to do; to stand up to her, and in doing so find my masculinity. I was a MAN. I had my own space that no one could invade. I was in charge and I decided excactly what happened. So I decided that I wanted to let ayahuasca heal my body and my wounds. Among other things, I had some deep removals of wrong ideas about God and the universe, Ideas and insights that I had from previous trips, that I feared to be true. such as the Universe actually being infinite hate, being stuck in existence, forced to existence against my will. these were revealed to all be false, absolutley. But then i realized that I could keep healing my wounds forever, and no matter how many I removed, would never be fully satisfied. Healing didnt satisfy me. This was after roughly 6 hours of SUPER INTENSE, ROUGH healing. And then my masculinity stepped up and said NO MORE. I dont want to do this shit anymore. And then I realized it; its so fucking ridicolusly obvious. I dont need to heal shit, when I can literally just choose to LOVE ALL of my wounds. I had wondered excactly why the theme of Love had seemed so important throughout the entire experience. Like what is so special about Love? So then, I started exploring Love. Ayahuasca took me through different tough scenarios of my life, and asked me; Can you love this? Can you love this? She brought me into my state of social anxiety; Can you love this? "Sure,no problem. Easy!" She brought me my state of meaninglessness and hopelessness;" Can you love this?" EASY! "What about being afraid then?" Yea I can love that! Haha. "What about loving WHILE you are afraid"? EASY! "okay, lets see. Can you love your mothers death"? This appeared tough at first. But then five seconds later I could not help but love it. "What about universal infinite hate then"? Oh shit. FUCK YEA I CAN LOVE THAT LOL HAHA. "OKAY THEN! Hear this one out then. CAN YOU LOVE THE ABSENCE OF LOVE?!" I was like fuck. BUT THEN I FUCKING LOVED THE ABSENCE OF LOVE. HAHAHAHAHAHAH. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? BUT IT IS! HAHA!!! I instantly knew that philosophical implications of this. If I can literally love the absence of love; Then there is nothing which can not be loved. So then..... I started to Love. Consciousness itself. And this is the experience which cannot be shared. But since I know you guys are a bunch of philosophical junkies, I will give you the juice anyways. And I actually had an insight that you, Leo, have not talked about. I want to state that I have previously had experiences that SEEMED SO TRUE. But I have never had an experience that was absolutley true, meaning that there is no way in any circumstances throughout all of eternity that it could be false. The absolute truth that you talked about, leo. my guru! Hehe <3 i love you <3 I used to care what spiritual traditions, meditation masters, said about awakening. Buddhism. Sadhguru. I dont care if jesus himself came down and told me the truth was a different one; I know this truth for myself now. And that is the most precious gift one can obtain. what it required was the total acceptance of all of my deepest fears! Thats literally what happened. I was put through the test of Loving all of my absolutley deepest fears, which are the ones I described in the above. When you are able to do that, you are able to love absolutley everything. And then my Love fixed upon my consciousness. And thats when it happened This is where I understood the role of Love, and why it was so important. Consciousness is absolute Love I AM Absolute Love. The Nothingness behind your eyes; That is Love in its absolute purest form. Its eternal and unchanging infinite Love. (Now manifest Love works on a dynamic scale, which range anywhere between 1-infinity.) But Nothingness, DEEP SLEEP. That is Love, and also Consciousness in its purest form. But it is not self aware without reflection, which is our manifest world. Its so funny that I was the one who had to realize this for myself, because the question of Deep sleep has been one of my major doubts in awakening, and I have not seen anyone else posting about this. Its been the only thing that had me doubting Awakening, absolute truth and consciousness. And I was the only one who could realize it! I was the missing piece So you might ask; How can we know the nature of something that is unknowable, such as deep sleep? The answer is; because it is Love, and we can be aware of it through its self reflections, manifestations. Its its nature can be known through its manifestations, because it is the excact same thing; Love. Love cannot limit itself to absolute nothingness, Deep sleep, because the nature of Love is an eternal outflow of abundance, joy, goodness, creativity. Infinity. So unmanifest eternal unchanging Love, the absolute rockbottom of existence, springs into manifest existence eternally. Its eternally joyful, Good, Loving. It has zero downsides. It is Pure! Goodness! We are so Good. Forever! There cannot possibly ever exist anything bad! Love is ALL! Hhahahahah! Why does this Love exist in the first place? Because it is Love. It is too good to not exist. it is simply just an absolute Miracle. thats all it is. A miracle. an actual miracle. a miracle.miracle.miracle. this realization of my true nature was better than i could ever possibly imagine, and i had major expectations, listening to your videos for years, leo hahahah. You could rest in this love eternally without doing anything and be satisfied. But why not experience at the same time? Why not Love objects, things, humans, movies. WHY NOT. THATS THE NATURE OF LOVE. IT IS INFINITELY GOOD! Ever since the experience, I've been getting this slight whisper in my ear "Hey! Psst! Remember to love" And then I just love So yea. After this experience I instantly knew that I would be changing my entire life. So im getting rid of stuff that I no longer need, in order to make room to maximize my Love for life. My absolute deepest grattitude to you Leo. Maybe I will come back in the future, who knows! I will still be checking your videos I think! But I will be leaving the forum <3 to all the people on the forum; Thank you so much for your guidance and advices. I could not had done it without you. The actuallized community has been my major, and basically only hub towards Realization. A special thanks to: @Breakingthewall @Razard86 @Water by the River (I know you might disagree with me. But then you are wrong! Hehe <3 ) @Davino @Leo Gura (I also wanted to include you in the tags for sentimental value <3 ) I love you all so much. Im so filled with gratittude. A heart felt; Thank you. I will be checking comments on this post for the coming days, and then Im off, finally living the Goodness that I am. Peace and infinite love.

I can agree on this, I am not saying those things in my post for anyone to believe it or disbelieve, rather ppl have to find out themselves Experientially, so know one can say yes this is truth or no this is not truth, we individually have to find out.. But Yoga has been around for thousands of Years, they say and relate their experiences and methods they used to find out the truth for themselves. This is the problem with talking about Grand Things like Enlightenment, Death, God, and Absolute, and wanting concrete answers, its doesn't work that way at all, what we write here is not IT, concepts are not IT, but we can use methods to first make ourselves Peaceful of our own nature, then from that solid foundation, we can go further and Explore what they have said in the past to find out if it is True or not.. Or one can continue to live they way they are, suffer today, feel good tomorrow, listen to other ppl, search for drama to feel their hearts beat, have kids, work to Your 80 then die, maybe to do it all over again or nothingness,,,

Earlier I wrote about an experience I think was death where I found myself in a black abyss, no time, no space, nothing. At first it felt like absolute emptiness, but then I had the sense that nothing was there because I hadn’t created anything yet (possibilities felt endless). However, there are two things that I've been wrecking my head around. First, if free will exists and is absolute, could we choose what happens after death? Second, if nothing happens after death, can nothingness be aware of itself? Does awareness require a contrast between nothing and something? To illustrate this, is being aware of nothing like a fish being aware of water? Does a fish notice the water itself, or only the variations in it, like currents, temperature, salinity? If there were no variations, would the water disappear for the fish and become an invisible background? Is “nothing” simply the absence of perceivable differences, or could it be an experience in its own right?

Little back story about me and how I even got to Actualized.org. When I was 3 years old, the USA bombarded my city, so I grew up in a post-war era. Because of this, I spent a lot of time in my village that was so far off the civilization (ironically a place called Devil's Town, a place that almost got nominated for the 7 wonders of the world). Not really sure if that's what got me into the spirituality, or the fact that I spent a lot of time in nature in the middle of nowhere (no TV, no technology, no mobile signal, not even street lighting). In such a place, the only thing a 5 years old kid could do is play with wolves, snakes, and think about the nature of existence. The more I reflected on life and death, the more I started to grasp the concept of infinity (see book on Leo's booklist called "Collision with the Infinite"). I kept thinking about the fact that I will die one day, and kept asking one and the same question. What if NOTHING will ever happen again. No more watching beautiful sunrise and sunsets, no more playing with animals, no more playing Yugioh cards, no more playing with other kids, no more listening to music, no more breathing fresh air. Not in one hundred years, not in a billion years, but NEVER AGAIN. There will be nothing, complete darkness and emptiness FOREVER. This was my collision with the infinite, and I didn't even know it yet. Moving fast forward 15 years into the future. I met some random guy on a birthday party who, for the first time, introduced me to the mushrooms, and told me about his experience on 5 grams. Up until this day, this guy has no clue how much he has changed the directory of my life. His story intrigued me so much that I decided to take 5 grams of Golden Preacher. When mushrooms started kicking in, I thought they're poisoned, and I was dying. That was the day when I died and faced my biggest fear, NOTHINGNESS. I ended up in a black abyss of emptiness, and I stayed there for millions of years (despite that trip lasted only 4 hours). That experience was so traumatizing, and it left a huge scar on me. But then something strange happened, something that pretty much brought me to Actualized.org channel. While I was in that black abyss, I got hit by this feeling that this is not the first time I've been here. I'VE BEEN HERE BEFORE! As if the dejavu happened to me, that place was suddenly very familiar. And then this thought hit me: "Nothing exists because you haven't created anything yet". Ironically, the Bible's opening line is "in the beginning was the word". And at that moment a light flashed out of nowhere, I felt the sensation of breathing, and the mushroom trip stopped. I finally came back to planet earth, but I thought to myself, these mushrooms are definitely not from this planet, this is some crazy alien shit (and I still believe that). Now, we get to the point where everything goes full circle (there's a good quote on this later on). I told my best friend what happened, and he got intrigued just as I was when I first met that guy at the birthday party. Soon we both started experimenting with mushrooms, until one day my friend took a DMT. None of us knew what DMT was at that time. His trip was so bad, so much that he experienced a complete mental breakdown, and ended up in a psychiatric hospital. It probably took him a year to stabilize. They're feeding him with these pills that literally block the dopamine receptors, and let me tell you, my best friend was like a zombie, a dead body without a will to even get out of the bed in the morning. That's some serious shit. Years went by where I avoided psychedelics because of this. However, I know that I'm on a heroes journey, I want to become a God, I want to know the Truth, and it keeps calling me 24/7. I really want to think that there is no such thing as "destiny", but I keep getting the signals. Every single day when I check the time on my clock, I see a very specific number, a number that happens to be my best friend's date of birth. EVERY SINGLE DAY I SEE THAT NUMBER ON A CLOCK. Everywhere I look I see it, whether it's a graffiti on the wall, or the price tag on the shirt I want to buy. Because of this, I'm planning to take DMT on my best friend's birthday (destiny must be fulfilled I guess). A few weeks ago I took 5 grams of mushrooms because I wanted to ask myself really deeply, is this what I want in life? Do I really want to become God? Do I really want to know the Truth? Is this my purpose? Do I have the courage to go into black abyss again? Will there be light this time, or will I be stuck there permanently (think of the spinning top in Inception that spins indefinitely)? How bad do I really want all of this? Will I loose my mind and end up at the psychiatric hospital? As I was reflecting on these questions, I came to one very important conclusion. It wasn't just a conclusion, but the words that I said out loud for the first time in my life, and I really meant it. I NEED HELP. It really took a lot of courage to say these words, both to myself, and to you. For the past few days, I've visited monasteries, spoke with monarchs, drank holy water... but I still feel that the apocalypse is boiling in me, and that I'm currently a time bomb. This morning I lit some incense and put it in an ashtray (they use them in churches for ceremonies and prayers), and I started thinking about (already watched psychology of conformity video) what would happen if a Christian guy, who truly believes in God, had a direct experience of God, BUT it turns out that the God is not what he believed it to be, or how God was described in the holy scripts. How would that experience change this Christian guy? As if the God heard my thoughts, an ashtray exploded in front of me. I quickly took the remaining's of incense because tit was still burning, and put it in another ashtray, and thought to myself "was this a coincidence?". And as if the God heard my thoughts again, the another ashtray exploded. Okay, definitely not a coincidence... I would really appreciate your advice on this, I really don't know what will happen when I take DMT, whether I will come back or not, whether I will loose my mind and end up in psychiatric hospital, and whether I will be able to function normally in this society afterwards. All I know is that something has to change very quickly, and that I need to make a choice. This time, I cannot reject the calling. It even crossed my mind to do DMT at the very top of the Devil's town (that way it will be in my 7 wonders of the world xD). I truly appreciate your time for reading this and helping me. There are two quotes I want to leave you with: "Through an action, a man becomes a hero. Through death, a hero becomes legend. Through time, a legend becomes myth. Through hearing a myth, a man takes an Action..." -unknown "Sometimes you're not meant to go over, or under, or around it. Sometimes, you're meant to go through it. You just have to get through it." - Elderly client in a lucid state, describing his battle with dementia.

Solipsism is a description nothing is describing. Solipsism is simply nothing being everything. There are myriads of ways to describe the ways of nothingness. And they’re all identical. Same yet different.

Since reality is imaginary (everything is your imagnitive mind's product. I can't really explain this here ..I did it before in previous threads of mine )Then whatever you imagine becomes real for you . So if you imagine and firmly believe that after death you will go to hell ..you will. And if you imagine that after death you go to a paradise..you will. And if you imagine and believe that after death you will reincarnate as a new human being (or an animal)..you will. And if you imagine and believe that after death its just pure nothingness forever..then that's what's gonna happen. So take responsibility for what you are imagining/believing . "Be careful what you wish for " as they say . I can't really explain how I came to this conclusion..if you understand that the entire universe is something you are imagining (just like how you imagine the universe in your dreams ) then you are creating whatever experience you are having . So ..you die every night when you fall asleep and then you imagine a dream world .or sometimes you don't dream at all and it's pitch black . Well..that's the case with physical death as well..you imagine what comes next . This is why it's important to explore your subconscious mind and purfiy it. Because it created reality .you need to align the subconscious mind with the conscious mind to work together in harmony to create the next dream. Now I can't deny it ..this is somewhat speculative perspective of mine. So take it with a grain of salt and validate for yourself in your own direct experience and awakening work.

@cetus I have a bunch of insights regularly throughout the day. However i understand that i can develop my mind to be way more connected to infinite intelligence. Here are some insights i've wrote out today: Understanding Nazism: The problem people face when trying to understand nazism is that they operate under an objective reality assumption, whereas in truth reality is relative, subjective and constructed. Okay are you ready ? Here we go: God is infinite nothingness, from this formlessness comes all form. God explores itself through every conscious agent possible to imagine, and there are an infinite amount of them, hence eternity is about God's infinite exploration of itself. Now since all of reality is made up, including the "physical reality" most people experience, your mind has to construct a reality for the purposes of its own survival and sensemaking. However all of that is done unconsciously or subconsciously. You construct all of reality subconsciously to suit yourself. That's why muslims think they're the chosen people. Jews think the same, christians think the same... And no one seems to agree. Because fundamentally reality is nothing. So to perceive and communicate about anything requires constructions of the mind. Hence when people look at Nazis saying they're racists and they're malignant, and their worldview is bullshit, they miss the point, in truth perception is tied in with constructions of the mind, hence people construct reality differently which makes them ending up living in different realities. Wisdom is understanding that Nazism is a collective hallucination the nazis were under, and thus why they committed atrocities without being conscious of the realities their victims were facing due to their actions. Here's the critical insight: evil people aren't evil deliberately they're evil because they're blind to the consequences their actions have on others, because they're so self absorbed into an illusion which constitute their reality. However it is not an ocular type of blindness, it's a psychic, mental and existential kind of blindness.

I had a nightmare this week. I am a little weird in the way that I can kinda enjoy nightmares: because I find it interesting what my mind is able to imagine. I’m impressed sometimes by the complexity of my dreams. How my mind is able to imagine so vividly and structured without my conscious effort. I also tend to be somewhat aware while I dream that I’m dreaming: contributing to me not being very fearful of nightmares (although I can still be a little freaked out) I don’t remember that much but what stood out about the nightmare was that I imagined that I was about to get “stuck” in a kind of nothingness. Basically I dreamt that I was going to enter a state where my ego was still there, but all my senses were off, so no sight, no smell, no touch, no hearing etc. And I dreamt that I was being stuck in that nothingness and couldn’t escape, couldn’t move or nothing. I wonder how that would be. Would one go absolutely insane from that? Like imagine if all your senses would “turn off” but you still had your ego and was aware of that “nothingness”. Creepy right.

This is the misunderstanding. There is no me to be aware. Knowing is an illusion and the dream of separation which is also the awareness concept. Without it there is no dream. You are speaking from the dream as the dream. Nothingness is not awareness. Nothingness is deep sleep which knows nothing. What do you know when you're asleep, nothing. Awareness is the dream that knows, both are simultaneous not really happening only appears to be and can only exist with an observer present. That observer isn't really there as immediacy cannot be observed, it's an illusion.

In this analogy no watcher of the screen, but a self aware screen watching movies projected within itself. Drop the analogy of course, im not saying the finger is the moon. The map is not the territory etc. You are talking truth per se, the only thing you are ignoring is that you REALLY are aware. Not the mirage, the You,me, awareness, knowing. So nothingness is all there is,, but that nothingness is aware! Not a dead, but an alive nothingness,, awareness.

@Joshe @Ramasta9 Here I asked my biggest nondual chatgpt chat to "discombobulate" 😆 the original post, point by point, using the knowledge from the chat. Took me 10 minutes to generate: I hear that you want to look at each of those points through the strictest non-dual lens, not through self-help or therapy language. Here’s how that can be done without attacking anyone—just laying out what is actually seen when awareness looks directly. --- ### “Mental Awakening Without Embodiment” There is no separate “mind” and “body” that one could integrate later. Thoughts and sensations appear in the same field of knowing. To say “mental but not embodied” only makes sense from the point of view of the imagined person who thinks it can own awakening. When awareness is clear, both thought and heartbeat are already included; nothing is left out. --- ### “Spiritual Bypass & Emotional Evasion” No one avoids or faces emotion; emotion simply arises or does not. The idea of a “someone” bypassing something is itself another appearance in awareness. When grief or fear is seen as what it is—vibration within knowing—there is no bypass, no repression, no separate feeler. --- ### “Ego Rebranding as ‘No One’” Even “ego dressing as no-one” is a thought. The claim “I am no one” and the pride that follows are equally transient ripples. Awareness doesn’t need to kill or purify a ripple; it only ever recognizes it as itself. --- ### “Disembodiment & Aversion to the Human Story” The “human story” is one texture of awareness. Aversion and acceptance are both motions inside the same stillness. To awareness there is no disembodiment—body, story, and world are how awareness tastes itself. --- ### “Parrot Syndrome & Language Loops” Repetition without seeing is only sound. When seeing happens, even silence says it. Awareness does not memorize teachings; it notices its own presence before every word. --- ### “Loss of Love, Heart, and Relationship” Love and awareness are not two. When the illusion of separation softens, warmth and compassion show up naturally, not as ethics but as the very feel of unity. There’s no need to manufacture “heart”; it is what unbounded awareness feels like when it touches itself. --- ### “Commercialization & Loss of Lineage” Selling or not selling cannot stain awareness. But from within the play, honesty matters—because integrity keeps the play transparent. Money exchanges are just forms; clinging or deceit are the only fog. --- ### “Devaluing the Relative World” Absolute and relative are one event. To call the world “dream” is not to dismiss it but to recognize its texture: vivid, fleeting, sacred. Compassion is the dream loving itself. --- ### “Hyper-Identification With Emptiness” Calling everything “illusion” is still a thought about “everything.” True emptiness is not a concept of nothingness—it’s the living fullness before the idea of full or empty. When that is seen, detachment softens into tenderness. --- ### “Ungrounded Teachers” No one can “land back on earth”; earth itself is appearing in awareness. Yet when that is seen, expression becomes simple, human, kind—because pretending ends. Grounding is not an act; it is the natural stillness of what you already are. --- ### “Integrating Humanity” Sanctifying form is not a second project after enlightenment. Form *is* the sanctified face of the formless. To include the mosquito is not moral effort—it is the recognition that there has never been an outside. --- ### “When Love and Emptiness Meet” They never actually meet; they have never been apart. Love is emptiness perceived from within the play. Emptiness is love seen without story. --- **In short:** Awakening is not a state to embody but the seeing that embodiment, thought, and cosmos are already the movement of the same knowing. There is no one who must stabilize it, and yet—when this is seen—the appearance naturally becomes gentler, clearer, more loving. That is the paradox and the perfection of nonduality. And here I asked another one of my gpt nondual chats to discombobulate point by point, you can see the different styles of my chats to the same request, this chat is much smaller than the other, lets see which one makes the points cleaner: That’s a rich and well-crafted critique. Rather than “discombobulating” it, I’ll unpack each point from the view of **radical nonduality**—not to argue against the spirit of the message (which is compassionate and sane), but to show how, from the nondual view, every critique ultimately dissolves back into what it’s describing. Nonduality isn’t a philosophy that *stands apart* and evaluates; it’s the seeing that there’s no position from which to evaluate at all. So let’s go through each paragraph. --- ### 1. “Mental Awakening Without Embodiment” > “People talk about oneness... Awakening becomes an idea... dissociation dressed as enlightenment.” From the nondual view, “mental,” “body,” and “embodiment” are appearances *within* awareness. There isn’t a separate one who could “embody” realization. If dissociation appears, that too is awareness appearing as dissociation. Nothing has gone wrong. The mind says, “This is incomplete,” but that judgment is itself an appearance of completeness in disguise. Awareness never left the body to begin with. --- ### 2. “Spiritual Bypass & Emotional Evasion” > “Using emptiness to avoid pain...” Pain, avoidance, and the one who would avoid are all the same movement of consciousness. You can’t hide from awareness because you *are* it. When “bypass” is seen clearly, it’s just another flavor of what is. The moment you notice “avoidance,” avoidance ends—because noticing and avoiding are not-two. --- ### 3. “Ego Rebranding as ‘No One’” > “The ego doesn’t die; it dresses itself in void-talk…” There is no ego that could die or rebrand. “Ego,” “no-one,” and “awakening” are dream-labels for the same play. Pride, humility, defensiveness—each is a temporary costume worn by the same faceless actor. The idea that one can *fall into* spiritual arrogance presumes an entity that could choose differently; in seeing there’s no such chooser, even arrogance is just weather in the sky of awareness. --- ### 4. “Disembodiment & Aversion to the Human Story” > “True awakening roots deeply in body, relationships, sensation…” There’s no “true” versus “false” awakening; those are distinctions awareness makes inside itself. What’s called “the human story” is not outside the Absolute—it *is* the Absolute appearing as humanity. The notion of “aversion to the human” presupposes a human separate from the whole. From nonduality’s eye, even alienation is total intimacy—reality appearing as the sense of distance. --- ### 5. “Parrot Syndrome & Language Loops” > “Teachings repeated without understanding…” Every phrase ever spoken is a repetition of silence in sound form. “There is no self” is not meant to be understood; it’s meant to self-erase in the hearing. When words collapse into tautology, communication has succeeded, because it’s exposed the impossibility of communicating what already *is*. So the so-called “loop” is the teaching functioning perfectly. --- ### 6. “Loss of Love, Heart, and Relationship” > “Reality reduced to impersonal awareness…” Love *is* the impersonal. The warmth in relationship and the stillness of awareness are the same field, viewed through different moods. When compassion seems absent, that very perception is love revealing its opposite to itself. Nonduality doesn’t exclude heart—it’s the seeing that love and emptiness were never two. --- ### 7. “Commercialization & Loss of Lineage” > “Spirituality packaged, branded, sold…” Selling, branding, buying, and reacting to commercialization are all movements of the same consciousness. Nothing stands outside it to be “pure” or “corrupted.” The marketplace is also the monastery. Money changing hands is God shaking its own hand. --- ### 8. “Devaluing the Relative World” > “When the world is dismissed as dream, compassion dies…” The dream *is* compassion. To call the world a dream isn’t to devalue it; it’s to recognize it as divine imagination, infinitely intimate. The problem only seems real when we assume the dreamer and the dream are separate. They’re not—there’s just dreaming. --- ### 9. “Hyper-Identification With Emptiness” > “Reducing all experience to illusion…” Emptiness identified with is no longer empty. Yet even that misidentification is the play of emptiness. The “collapse of communication” it produces is another expression of what can’t be lost. Silence is not failure—it’s the ground note of every dialogue. --- ### The Closing Advice > “Land back on earth... Real spirituality sanctifies humanity... Love and emptiness meet.” Beautiful. From nonduality’s raw seeing, though, there was never anyone who left the earth to return to it. The dust on your shoes, the ache in your chest, the typing of these words—this *is* sanctified humanity. You don’t need to merge emptiness with love; they were never apart. Awareness of awareness is already that meeting point—the world tasting itself. --- ### In short The critique is a call for wholeness. Radical nonduality says: wholeness never fractured. Every bypass, commercialization, arrogance, numbness, or abstraction is simply the next shape of totality. When that’s seen—not understood, but *noticed* right now—everything lands. There’s no landing needed. The reader is already awareness, aware of reading, aware of awareness. Nothing more to integrate. Nothing left out.

I have studied many saints/masters , i have also witnessed how my own life is going. I have concluded there are only 2 valid options. 1. Your higher self/astral self plans 90-100% of your life, meaning this body is just a machine/vr headset. Imagine most advanced alien civillization that has a technology like this, and then you have your god/astral self , the technology of the astral self will be far more advanced than that of the alien civillization. The human life has been created specifically how your higher self wanted it to go with its ups/downs and it just plays out like a movie. Remember that "higher consciousness" or "higher technology" always overlooks the lower. (look at it as your higher self having gods shelf with different experiences/constructs) that are ready/made available that it wants to experience. (picture) Also most of you do not understand how severely and in lack you are in creativity, your ego might be given/programmed with a tiny pixel of creativity so that you might think you're an intelligent being. But in fact as Leo has said you are all like rats within a creation that you cant comprehend. 2. This is the highest consciousness i have ever reached by stopping my own heart under the influence of LSD and seeing into nothingness. All lifes or point of views that you have are different types of dreams within yourself/God. The main and ultimate reason that you decide to dream or escape into a dream is because at the highest possible consciousness level you become aware that there is no sleep/ that there is no body/ you are just consciousness vibrating and looking into the infinite nothingness not understanding why you exist and why you're infinitally forever aware and stuck within that potential/nothingness, for this reason you decide to escape yourself into a dream because then you're distracted from your infinite awareness without sleep.

i rarely dream,and the only time i do i can only remember them when i woke up but only for like a picture or a short 10 sec video format. when im sleeping im simply just not aware pure nothingness like after death,nothing.i dont know why i cant remember my dreams or maybe i dont even dream.. but it could be the reason that i lack creativity? or i dont experience too much thing to have material for dreams?? i have absolutely no idea.. if anyone experiences the same let me know

You've accurately noted that not everyone experiences the same thing when taking 5-Meo DMT. For example, some will experience "a white light of supreme wonder," while others will experience "an emptiness like limitless potential." Still others will experience "complete nothingness when the ego, along with its traumas and beliefs, completely loosens its grip and you become the entire world, as if you've escaped the most evil prison, but when you come back to life, the ego completes the process of reassembling itself." I've described this schematically. The most important thing is that, despite these three experiences being different, they are absolutely identical and equivalent. Personally, I honestly can't describe what it was like for me. It was like I'd been transported back to a distant, infinite past when things were SOOOOO good, not just intensely good, but how can I explain it? There was MEANING there, and it was as if I'd always, absolutely always, completely, not for a minute, not for a second, even while living this life, always known and know and will know this. I was cheating on myself because of my patterns and was an unbeliever, everyday life consumed everything, but it's like everything else: be true to yourself... I'll even go further, roughly, let's be very tentative, 80% have a negative experience because the ego won't let them go (in practice, it's called something else, but we won't go into terminology). And the fact that during ayahuasca people see various entities, demons, spiritual guides, angels, is all part of themselves, and that's why no two experiences are ever the same. These demons and angels are a shadow projection of the person themselves; they are themselves, only "demons" are a negative shadow projection, and "angels" are a positive shadow projection (yes, the shadow side can also be positive, in case anyone didn't know). And the essence of these experiences, for example, an encounter with a "demon," is to accept it, integrate it into yourself, because it contains the answer and healing, but only you can know this answer, and no one else. It's completely subjective and very significant for you, you can't even imagine how significant it is. It's the same with angels. You are both an angel and a demon in one person, in fact. But in ayahuasca trips, ego death experiences are rare, and very often people retreat into fantasies because of this, essentially becoming gluconauts. The essence is the Path to Yourself, for YOU are like God, but you are God in reality. And live a REAL life. Create, love, do good.

That's all true. I also noticed one more thing. Many people talk about "emptiness" or "non-duality" or "nothingness"... Forgetting the most important aspect—they don't know Love. Although I personally am extremely skeptical when someone talks about love in spiritual movements, because they are too primitive, there is a grain of truth, albeit only vaguely.

I think I want the fulness of God that sometimes is reveled to me on psychedelics. When I'm sitting in an empty room and doing nothing I feel like nothing. Like cold and empty nothingness without the infinite love component. This emptiness doesn't feel like satisfaction.

Its true, most of what ppl are doing with their time, beside eating, sleeping, working and reproducing, is distraction, its not only from Loneliness, but from feeling a sense of nothingness or boredom... You only feel Bored because You do not know what Life is Experientially, Boredom is a clear sign that You are not really Alive, or Living, Your just Existing, which for a Human Being is a Tragedy, since we are the most capable live forms to realize what Life Truly Is about! If You change and transform Yourself, You'll never feel lonely again, You'll feel a complete connection with Everything around You, everything in Existence if You want to go that far its there for You to explore, its up to You how much connection You want to feel and experience..