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Here’s the essay I put together after clarifying what I was trying to articulate here. I’ve added the audio recording for convenience. It’s just over 20 minutes long After Awakening: Multiple Ego Dissolutions, Burnout, and the Limits of Insight Several years ago, I underwent a genuine non-dual awakening through sustained contemplation and meditation, later contrasted with psychedelic experience. Identity collapsed, reality became dreamlike, and the familiar insights followed. This is not a story about awakening itself. It is about what happened after — across multiple phases of deconstruction — and why those phases ultimately led not to liberation, but to exhaustion. This process did not involve a single dissolution of ego, but three distinct dissolutions, each operating at a different level of the system: intellect, psyche, and nervous system. First Dissolution: Intellectual Deconstruction and Awakening The first ego dissolution occurred through intellectual deconstruction. Years of philosophical inquiry, epistemological rigor, and contemplation dismantled identification with self, body, and thought. This culminated in a non-dual awakening: the recognition of awareness as primary, reality as constructed, and identity as illusory. This stage was driven by intellect — not belief — and required discipline, focus, and cognitive capacity. At this stage, the ego was not destroyed; it was used. It functioned as the engine of inquiry. Without it, sustained deconstruction would not have been possible. Awakening arose through egoic effort, not in spite of it. However, this phase privileged understanding over embodiment. Insight was clear, but its impact on lived experience was limited. Second Dissolution: Psychological Deconstruction and Shadow Work The second ego dissolution occurred through psychological insight. Attention shifted from metaphysical truth to the mechanisms of the psyche: subconscious conditioning, emotional triggers, attachment patterns, cognitive bias, trauma responses, and survival strategies. This involved learning how belief forms, how emotion drives behavior, and how unconscious loops perpetuate suffering. Through this process, old narratives dissolved. The reasons I believed I was the way I was repeatedly changed as deeper layers were uncovered, until the very idea of a single causal explanation collapsed. Responsibility was taken seriously — perhaps too seriously. Patterns were interrupted. Behavior changed. Relationships temporarily improved. It was during this phase that autism was first suggested. That possibility was dismissed — not out of denial, but out of a belief that behavior could be changed through awareness, effort, and self-regulation. Labeling it as autism felt like excusing or solidifying something that could otherwise be transformed. For a time, this worked. An adaptive personality formed. Functionality increased. Masking was successful. But this came at a cost. Third Dissolution: Midlife Collapse and Autism Masking Burnout The third ego dissolution was not chosen. It occurred in midlife through burnout. The ego that had formed to sustain meaning, purpose, and trajectory — to regulate emotion, maintain relationships, and function within cultural expectations — ran out of energy. It could no longer justify itself. Motivation collapsed. Executive function declined. Emotional regulation failed under cumulative load. What was revealed underneath was not emptiness, but a nervous system shaped by autism and neurodivergence, one that had been masked for decades through intellect, adaptation, and effort. When the mask fell away, what remained was a system not designed to survive — let alone thrive — in its cultural environment. This was not spiritual failure. It was biological and neurological reality asserting itself after prolonged compensation. At this stage, meaning could no longer be generated intentionally. Purpose could not be chosen. Engagement was not a matter of attitude or belief — the capacity itself to do so, was gone. What had once been interpreted as ego dissolution now revealed itself as ego exhaustion. Consequences: Overwhelm, Isolation, and Misinterpretation With the loss of masking and regulatory capacity came heightened sensitivity: to emotion, complexity, relational dynamics, and informational load. Awareness now spanned multiple levels simultaneously — personal, relational, societal, political, metaphysical — without the filtering mechanisms that once made this manageable. The result was overwhelm: emotional stacking, executive paralysis, withdrawal, and periods of shutdown. Not depression in the conventional sense, and not nihilism as a belief, but a sensitive nervous system exceeding its limits. At the same time, the need for co-regulation, connection, and unconditional support became explicit. Not conceptually — biologically. Childlike needs surfaced: safety, presence, touch, attunement. Yet the surrounding environment lacked the capacity to meet a human being in such an open and vulnerable state. Most people were themselves overwhelmed, defended, or absorbed in self-development frameworks that bypass relational responsibility so there was no one there. Spiritual communities, in particular, often responded with abstraction: non-dual explanations, absolute responsibility, or minimization of lived experience. Pain was dismissed as illusion. Burnout was reframed as resistance. This only deepened isolation. Relational Catalyst: Heart Opening and the Cost of Vulnerability There was, however, a specific relational catalyst that accelerated and clarified this entire phase: falling in love. During this period, I fell deeply in love with someone — Sarah — and that experience marked a decisive shift. It was not romantic idealisation or projection in the conventional sense, but a genuine heart-opening that dissolved long-standing emotional defenses. For the first time, vulnerability was no longer optional or suppressed by intellect. The nervous system opened into felt connection, care, tenderness, and longing. This heart opening had immediate effects beyond the personal. It deepened the emotional bonds within my spiritual circle. Love became more explicit, more embodied, more present between us. There was warmth, affection, shared presence, and a sense — briefly — that something genuinely human and reparative was forming. People felt safer. More seen. Less required to perform or be anything in particular. It also filled me with self love when I directed it at myself causing an expansion of self confidence and unconditionality. But this same opening also revealed something painful and unavoidable: love without reciprocity is destabilising. As sensitivity increased, so did the capacity to feel absence, inconsistency, and lack of follow-through. When people did not show up, did not respond, or could not meet vulnerability with responsibility, the pain was no longer abstract or philosophical — it was visceral, relentless and continued for over two years and continues even now. What had once been buffered by detachment or insight now landed directly in the body in waves of pain from the top of the neck and shoulder, down across the chest to the sternum. Any time I got overwhelmed I found myself curling in a hall, clutching my head and screaming because I could not stop the sensation once it started. No amount of CBT or regulation techniques were working. No one was around to catch me when I fell, no one knew how or how to recognise it, my authenticity that deepened and intensified the way I love and express was disturbing and rejected by those closest to me. This revealed a critical asymmetry. Love had opened the system, but the relational environment did not have the capacity to co-regulate at that depth. Some were still processing trauma. Others were absorbed in non-dual excitement or personal development. Many valued connection in principle, but lacked the embodied availability to sustain it in practice. The result was increased sensitivity paired with decreased support — a dangerous combination. The very openness that made connection possible also made neglect, dismissal, or inconsistency far more wounding. What looked from the outside like emotional fragility was, in reality, a nervous system operating without armor in an environment not structured to protect it. This was not a failure of love. It was a revelation of how rare genuine co-responsibility in relationship actually is — and how costly it can be to remain open without it. The heart opening did not cause the burnout. It exposed the conditions that made burnout inevitable. It showed, unmistakably, that insight without relational infrastructure cannot sustain vulnerability — and that love, once awakened, cannot simply be closed again without cost. The Core Realisation Non-duality may describe an underlying structure of reality, but human life is relational. Awakening does not negate the need for nervous-system regulation, belonging, and embodied connection. Applying absolute perspectives at the relative level collapses relationship and places unbearable responsibility on the individual. What became clear to me at this point was the ontological error being made around the concept of “other.” In absolute terms, other collapses into unity — but at the level of lived human experience, other does not disappear. It remains operative, causal, and relational. I had attempted — both personally and experimentally — to apply absolute responsibility at the relative human level. Conceptually, it sounds coherent: if everything is one, then I am responsible for my experience. But embodied reality revealed the flaw. When “other” is erased at the human level, responsibility becomes asymmetric. The individual absorbs not only their own regulation and integration, but also the emotional impact, projections, avoidance, and limitations of everyone around them. This leads to exhaustion, not liberation. Human beings are not solipsistic processing units. Our nervous systems are co-regulatory by design. Meaning, safety, and orientation emerge between beings, not in isolation. To deny the causal role of “other” is not awakening — it is a form of dissociation that masquerades as insight. The paradox is this: At the level of source, unity is real. At the level of life, relationship is real. And refusing to honor both simultaneously fractures the human capacity to live. In my case, this refusal led to a progressive carrying of responsibility that was never meant to be borne alone — explaining, adapting, regulating, forgiving, understanding — until the system finally collapsed. Not because insight was false, but because it was misapplied beyond the level it was meant to govern. True integration, I now see, does not eliminate “other.” It requires learning how to be with other without erasure — without domination, bypassing, or self-sacrifice disguised as transcendence. One cannot know itself or define itself unless there is something against which a distinction is made. Self does not exist without other. This is not a flaw in reality — it is part of the whole. Awareness knows itself by creating contrast within itself. A fold. A differentiation. The appearance of “other.” This distinction is not separate from awareness, nor does it ever truly leave it. It is intrinsic, inseparable, and necessary. The illusion of other is still an expression of the one, not a deviation from it. In absolute terms, awareness is infinite, whole, and complete — needing nothing. But once projected into relativity, it cannot sustain itself through fragmentation alone. A living system cannot survive by isolating, dismissing, or denying its own parts. The one awareness unfolds into many perspectives in order to experience itself. These perspectives — these “others” — are not disposable scaffolding to be discarded after awakening. They are the means by which awareness continues to know itself in motion, in relationship, in life. When too many folds are isolated, dismissed, or treated as unreal, the system loses coherence. Unity without relationship collapses into sterility. The dream stagnates — not because it is false, but because its own internal harmony has been broken. True integration, then, is not the erasure of other, but the restoration of relationship between all parts of the whole — without hierarchy, bypassing, or denial. The entire point of the dream was awareness projecting itself into embodiment — not as an error, but as an experiment in sustained existence through relationship. Consciousness unfolds into form in order to experience itself as life, and that life can only be sustained through harmonious expansion, not fragmentation. A multiparty system emerges by lowering entropy, not increasing it — through cooperation, inclusion, and mutual regulation rather than isolation or dominance. Each part stabilises the whole by allowing other parts to exist as they are. This is not metaphorical love, but ontological love: the condition that permits complexity to persist without collapse. When awareness attempts to deny, dismiss, or overwrite its own projections — treating embodiment, relationship, or difference as illusory or expendable — entropy rises. The system destabilises. The dream does not end through awakening, but through loss of coherence. To allow everything to be — without hierarchy, bypassing, or erasure — is love. Not sentimentally, but structurally. It is the only condition under which the dream can continue to unfold. Love is why it is at all. What has unfolded here is not regression, and not a refusal to integrate. It is the recognition that integration requires infrastructure — biological, relational, and cultural — and that insight alone cannot provide it. At this stage, there is little interest in further deconstruction, peak states, or metaphysical explanation. What remains is a need for slowness, safety, and real human presence. Not to transcend life, but to make it livable again. If there are moments of withdrawal, silence, or apparent disengagement, they are not expressions of apathy or despair. They are signs of a system protecting itself after prolonged overextension. Awakening revealed what is true. Burnout revealed what is necessary. Integration now depends not on insight, but on care and embodiment. reality is reasserting itself after the mind has exhausted its capacity to mediate it. Trying to navigate and cater for infinity when we were never designed to navigate that level of complexity. When the conceptual scaffolding collapses and there’s no energy left to rebuild it, the lived world stops being buffered and reduced into nice navigable packages and choices. Sensation, absence, time, otherness — they arrive raw. No commentary. No meaning creation. No protection. That’s why it feels unsettling rather than peaceful. The whole thing is there in its totality screaming in your face. The missing piece wasn’t intelligence, rigor, or honesty. It was contact. Not conceptual contact, not metaphysical contact — human contact. Nervous systems, bodies, presence, co-regulation. Love. The thing the mind can describe endlessly but cannot substitute for. Once the mind burns out, reality doesn’t argue — it just is, and it is violently silence.

This where I feel there are levels to awakening and enlightenment. I feel you can awakening mentally, emotionally, physically, but who are those who have mastered and awakened and stabilized all three? Maybe that's what is the spiritual perfection Jesus talked about. This is what I am starting to realize after over a decade on this path. Awakening the mind without awakening the heart is no awakening at all. Most people will experience one kind of awakening and settle there, because they never experienced anything beyond that, but i feel that's the trap itself, the moment we think we figured it out, the moment there's more to uncover.

Not at all. Scientific knowledge does not help with Awakening AT ALL. It actually hurts. Of course. You think Jesus was a math nerd? Haha Most Awakened people are not scientific. The reason I talk about science is not because knowing science is needed for knowing God, it is to highlight the epistemic mistakes of science, to help scientists think better, and to free your mind from the shackles of science.

When you said "I do not have my shit together, I struggle with career, I don't quite master my emotions, I struggle with finances, I am depressive and sometimes suicidal ect.." That's most people on this forum, so your not alone, including Leo, don't put him on such a high pedistool because you only reinforcing an illusion. People who truly "have their shit together" are consistent, in all areas, both in presentations and in comments. The average forum user here is quite similar to how you described your "challenges" in life. Some more refined than others yes, but most are still learning to walk on their own two feet, as you can see from the comments, some even act like screaming babies wanting mama to give them their nipple Its absolutely ok to be interested in these topics, follow what feels right and true to you each and every moment. Anyone can Awaken at any given moment. I think awakening is misunderstood, rather following your "true north" and being your "authentic self" is paramount. Then that is an awakened life, because you are being your individual self and not copying one another.

Stings? Why? Obviously if it advances mankind's Awakening it also advances your Awakening. These are not mutually exclusive. Plus, what good is it for you to Awaken but then live amongst a bunch of cavemen? Obviously you want to live among others who understand you. So this goal is not just good for mankind at large, it is good for you. Do you want to be Awakened and living among a bunch of materialist Nazis? So obviously we need a larger goal of advancing the entire culture.

I had terrible panic attack my whole life. Probably thousands of them. They never went away until I awakened. Panic attack is higher self awaking up imo. Your ego says oh my God Im dying. Its like a massive burst of gamma waves coming into your brain. Its a good thing. If you are to slingshot yourself to heaven panic attack is like pulling back the slingshot.

Mind body is what you are. This is just obviously irrefutable. Now you are aware of yourself, you can use the power of memory, you can remember the time before you became aware of yourself. Your language in the form of concepts was your conception? Ask yourself what were you before human conceptual language? Answer that question without using human conceptual language, okay. 👍 Mind and body is all there is, in this conception. A conceived conception is what you are right here and now. There’s no way to unconceive this conception, once the genie is out of the bottle, there’s no way back to the nothingness prior to knowledge in this conception, not now you have awakened to the truth.

Yeah, I saw mother and them watching it on the news but i haven't looked into it yet. I've been focusing on my life and planning my next moves. A little RANT on my part... Why i don't watch the news or pay attention anymore, not that I don't care but people don't listen anyways. I know it may sound selfish of me but honestly I've seen this pattern all around the world. It just doesn't surprise me anymore and gets repetitive, and people don't listen, they destroy nature, they destroy themselves, they hate one another, they don't clean up their lives up, they don't wanna change and move, they wanna keep killing animals, they wanna keep being enslaved by politicians and religious leaders, living in fear and not standing up for the truth and freedom, not realizing we the cells are the true source of power, and things like this and more will continue to happen, until mother nature flips the whole earth upside down if she must, people need to WAKE UP. The indigenous and awakened ones have been screaming this for decades, if not centuries. This way of life (the modern world we live today) is not sustainable, it needs to change, big time, everyone needs to change, we need to live how Christ and Buddha lived, and treat one another as they did, these are the ways of God of Nature, this is the age of awakening and its only a matter of time before everything MUST and WILL change. If you can't change and grow up, these things will keep happening, as "wake up" calls, to move, to change, to grow, COVID was a big one. People gather like ants living in one city, when there's a whole world out there, that's why there is so much disease and sickness, we are not spread and living naturally and caring for the land, we are living artificially inside smart-homes and AI systems. This is sickness, disorder, distortion of nature. We need to change our ways, and as we do more collectively, less of these things will occur naturally, but currently we are at a breaking point, where the darkness and corruption of the world and its nations is crumbling under its own weight and poor design, so before the new world arises, there must be a clearing, a big storm, to shaken and awaken all the humans, to get their shit together before its too late. If you think COVID was bad, if humans don't shape up soon, far worse will come. I am not the first to say this. This is ancient wisdom. We are the Cells of this Earth, we need to cleanse ourselves and change our ways if we value a truly rich and profound life. The most important news is never aired on the news, they don't see the value and spirit of the planet herself (AS A LIVING BEING), she gets treated like shit, so humans experience disease and distortion, why? because they are not listening, they are not acknowledging, they are not respecting the very mother from which they sprouted from, they walk around like GODS trying to dominate everything, when they are only destroying their own soil and selves. All the prophets and important speakers are killed and silenced, and no one bats and eye. They just move along and keep their heads down. Living in fear, well fear will not prevent death my friends, fear only prevents life, a life lived in full. So while we all rot inside these artificial spaces and toxic living systems, few are the brave ones who actually live to make a change for the better, I rather die young standing in truth then die old a slave who kept his mouth shit out of fear. Anyways, this post obviously triggered something with me, excuse the rant but i felt it needed to be said. Rage against the dying of the light...

That is true to a degree, however who you are is very difficult to consciously control and to a significant degree it is out of your control. It is possible to modify behaviour, create new habits, etc. but this fantasy that one day, you can just become someone completely new and different. Is largely just that. So much for this awakened post Like, if I use me as an example, when I look into my past I can understand the reasons behind some negative reactions of people towards me, not all of them but some. Is that supposed to make me feel better to know that it was all my fault? LOL well, great, and? Where do we move from there? I'll just miraculously perform 180 flip and completely change those aspects of myself, right?

There are levels to being human. Not in the sense of superiority, but in the sense of how much light your body can actually hold. When you eat animal flesh, you take in the frequency of survival, fear, density, and the lower vibrations the animal carries and represents. That energy fuses with your tissues, your nerves, your subtle body. It pulls your awareness downward into the old human, the survival human, the animal. But when you release animal foods, something profound happens. Your body becomes lighter, cleaner, clearer. Your consciousness rises. Your intuition opens. Your emotional body stabilizes. Your aura brightens. Your frequency sharpens. You begin to move from the survival human to the fully awakened human - the Christ-consciousness, Buddha-consciousness, rainbow or golden light-body human that the old masters spoke about. This is what they were trying to remind humanity of, that there is a higher version of the human being. Not a moral upgrade, a vibrational one. Animal foods were meant for survival.They served us in the past. But we are no longer meant to live in survival mode. The "missing link" that most people never see is that your diet isn't just fuel - it's consciousness material. What you eat becomes what you are able to feel, perceive, hold, and embody. When you remove the heaviness of animal energy, your body becomes a cleaner vessel for the higher frequencies to move through. And when that happens, everything transforms. This is the doorway into the next version of the human being - the light body, the ascended body, the awakened human. Most people never crack this part. But once you do, the whole picture snaps into place.

That is false, and you shouldn't believe anything you read, the truth is there is little truth here in the physical domain and it has been designed this way. The dreams your dream are part of your inner psyche and your bodily machine which only carries a small fraction of your consciousness that is limited to the bodily machine. The dreams you dream are not astral projection many people believe that is because they're not awakened and are just sheep repeating things. Look at it as the real you wearing a very advanced body vr suit that is programmed to create an experience like a machine including your dreams. Remember what is happening right now is peanuts to a very advanced technological civillization, and now imagine what God can do. I told you how it is, and i'm gonna leave it at that. I see your posts and the energy that it emits is confusion. The only true measurement of consciousness is having siddhis remember that, and the siddhis are part of the astral body.

lot of people took 5meo dmt and they are still as awakened as rock.

@Leo Gura Hey, on a slightly similar topic, I’ve noticed that I get stuck in my contemplations sometimes, so I’m asking this to better understand how to deconstruct the "ego defense" I’m experiencing. What I’m struggling with is that even after intense mental skull-fucking work, I still can’t fully accept the idea that "I am God" or that the mind is limitless. For example, if I try to imagine subtle changes in my body, like my eyes becoming more brown, my nails growing a little longer, or healing pain or illness, it doesn't seem to work. I focus on these small things because I’ve noticed I get scared of changing, especially because I see how attached my ego is to my body and identity. But even when I try to make these minor changes that wouldn't pose a threat to the fixed idea of human identity, they still don’t manifest. It’s tricky to understand why, if someone can become fully awakened or omniscient, they still can’t intentionally influence reality or consciousness, even as an experiment. You mentioned something extreme in one of your episodes, like turning your hand into an eldritch Cthulu tentacle🐙, but that’s not even necessary. What about simply changing something small? I’d love to see a thread here, even where people share their experiences of going on trips, reaching God-realizations, and making small, scientifically verifiable changes that couldn't naturally occur. I realize that whenever I return from God-realizations (intense trips), my ego grabs onto these arguments as a defense mechanism, blocking me from fully integrating the experience. So, I’m wondering how you navigated this and got past it. Do you mostly think: "Oh, it's the case that even though I am God and that is the absolute truth, the reason I can’t do these things is because I’m still attached to a human mind that can't perform these actions? And in order to do so, I’d be risking death or detachment from my self, which is why it’s not so easy? I am God, so I choose not to do it. It's not that I cannot." But to that, I’d argue it still doesn’t make sense, because by definition, God is God. Once you realize that you are, you should be able to do it, purely for the fun and curiosity of it, especially if it isn't human-identity threatening... It’s confusing. Thank you so much!

I’ve awakened bro

Depends. Maybe you got a mystical vision after doing shrooms, the awakened spirits told you directly that a dog in your apartment will bring you good fortune . In this case you would be testing it out-not out of conformity, but to see if the awakened spirits are full of shit or not

I hear that, 😀.. Me too. But eventually it comes up. Imagine having an awakened girlfriend. It's my wet dream.

You wouldn't try to change your parents. The reason you get along with people when you're awakened is not because you have some otherworldly aura emanating from you that purifies people, rather, it's because your heart is open and you're able to receive everybody where they are at. If you're gonna get frustrated just because your parents don't share the same values as you then you have a long way to go. You're attached to them. Love is different from attachment. In Sanskrit, the words for unconditional love and conditional love are different, प्रेम (Prema) & मोह (Moha). When I look at my parents all I feel is love. I become like them, enjoy life in the way they live it. That's what it is about. It is not about locking yourself in a state that makes you feel like a saint or a monk. I don't rationalize their behaviors, their dysfunctions. There is no such thing as dysfunctions. If you can experience that cosmic love even with those who you were once very emotionally bonded to, you know what's up.

@TruthFreedom Let's see, as @Carl-Richard says, all these ideas of solipsism, that there's nothing outside your experience, that you're God creating reality, are logical constructs. So, if you make logical constructs, why do you make the ones that seem, let's say, less logical? To feel special, different, cool? Yes, okay, you can tell me you awakened to that fact by taking drugs, but that's nothing to me because once, while taking drugs, I awakened to the fact that all the women in a club wanted sex with me. It was a total awakening, undeniable. But then, well, it needed some qualification. So maybe to make logical deductions it's better to use logic than drugs.

Yey more psychic pollution ! Lets all continue to insert foreign images into a persons mind and make them want things they don't need that gradually weaken focus and distract them from their soul purpose. We must keep them asleep and in cycles. No critical thinkers, no awakened ones. I have add-blockers everywhere, ghostery and duckduckgo to name a few, there is also an app called 'brave' if you want to watch utube on your phone without adds. I am glad i found this because i enjoy listening to long tracks or podcasts while driving, and I am not paying a dime for some premium bs, we're already paying for enough. Whats next we have to pay to breathe and think? Its so off-putting, always having to find a work-around things. RIP the good old days, when things were simple. And trying to make profit out of every little hole they can find is one of the biggest diseases man faces today. A psychological parasite at its finest.

I never used A.I , my mind just tells me it's a robotic non human post. Then i decided to use a tool to check for a.i text and it was all the time accurate. The words that you type are energy and information, everything is connected so it is possible to see the source where it is coming from. But my kundalini is awakened and i'm not fully human so yeah... My mind even scared me a bit because it feels like i'm merging with god more and more. The human mind isn't actually your "mind" it's a tool and not actually who you are.

This is a beautiful question and it is possible to awaken from this dream. Not just our sleeping dream, but the waking dream. What is your current experience of this inquiry? Have you fully awakened from the dream of survival and life?

There are infinite facets to awaken to - don’t get cocky thinking you’ve explored them all and that you’re done. Today I awakened to horror. Watched myself spiral down into it, which ultimately led to exposing what was eating me alive and ending that part of me.

Ever got punched in the face, still accepted life, became aware that you still accept and embrace life and realized you can take lifes challenges which actually awakened a deeper, more alive love for life in you? That you could still love and be tender despite brutal challenges? That wounds make it all the more sweeter as it becomes more real? Blood and glitter That would be the theme of a fashion collection which would try to artistically express this feeling for life. ... My mind is a mysterie to me.

Shamans aren't avoiding "pure chemicals." They're working with whole systems, plant, spirit, psyche, body, and the environment. A chemical gives you the signal. The plant gives you the signal + the intelligence + the direction + the integration. Nature didn't just make a chemical; it made a whole ecosystem of intelligence, guidance, and integration. Plants like ayahuasca, psilocybin mushrooms, Peyote, or San Pedro aren't isolated molecules, they're living teachers. They carry energetic signatures tuned to human biology and consciousness. They have built-in safety mechanisms (slow onset, body cues, purges, nausea, shaking) that guide the nervous system to release what's stuck. That provides emotional and spiritual scaffolding, they show you what's inside in a symbolic, integrative way, thus a natural rhythm for processing trauma, energy, and emotion. Synthetic versions, even if chemically identical, lack this intelligence. They hit the nervous system like a hammer, there's no guidance, no subtle messaging, no slow, integrative unfolding. That's why people can get overwhelmed, dissociated, or falsely "enlightened" with lab-made molecules. When we overload the system with such intense psychedelics like 5‑MeO, the nervous system cannot integrate the experiences. That overwhelm cause parts of the emotional and psychological self to disconnect, often leaving one cold, dissociated, and mentally inflated. Instead of becoming more whole, one splits further, and the ego grabs the 'peak experiences' and builds a superiority identity around them. So what looks like enlightenment, is actually a fragmented and ungrounded nervous system trying to appear awakened and hold itself together. Nature has been perfecting this stuff for billions of years... its probably wise to recognize this.

As for Jesus eating meat, if we’re being honest and historically realistic: The Essenes ate no flesh. They practiced strict raw food diets. They believed in subtle bodies and purification. They taught breathwork, fasting, and living foods. They called the body "the temple of God." These passages match Essene tradition almost perfectly. And the Essenes are the group Jesus was most shaped by. So yes, these teachings are far closer to the kind of thing a fully awakened Jewish mystic of that lineage would teach than the modern Christian church’s teachings. And if Christ had full realization, he absolutely would: Teach harmlessness Teach purification Reject unnecessary killing Align with oneness Teach diet as part of spiritual transmutation Because a fully realized being sees every creature as themselves.