Search the Community

Any thoughts on this? Ive been a big fan for a long time of both Jung and psychedelics. Why Jung Was Skeptical About Psychedelics 1. Regression into Primitive Layers Jung worried that psychedelics could thrust people too quickly into archaic or primitive layers of the psyche. Instead of growth, this might feel like a regression — an overwhelming flood of imagery that leaves someone more confused than before. 2. The Risk of Inflation Jung also warned about inflation, when the ego identifies with powerful archetypal content and loses touch with reality. Under psychedelics, visions can feel like divine truth. But without grounding, this can lead to grandiosity, disconnection, or even collapse. 3. The Moral Burden of Knowledge For Jung, knowing more of the unconscious wasn’t always a gift — it was a responsibility. If someone accessed deep truths without the conscious maturity to hold them, that knowledge could weigh heavily, destabilize, or even mislead. 4. No Shortcut to Individuation Jung’s whole therapeutic model was built on individuation — the slow, lifelong process of becoming whole. He felt psychedelics might offer a glimpse of the depths, but not the path to walk them. For him, real transformation required time, patience, and an ongoing relationship with the unconscious. Source: https://www.saraouimette.com/blog/2025/9/15/what-did-carl-jung-say-about-psychedelics

People gotta deal with what they got. A monk is going to have aspirations that an average worldly person might not have, and the capacity for transformation will be different. So if someone has a need which they don't have the capacity to alchemize or transmute, than they may just live with it. For people working on their character. They may have a need which they need to accept, but it doesn't have to rule them, and can be met with consciousness. Then transformation can happen.

I just finished the LP course a few days ago. I have been thinking about this moment for quite a while as I started this course more then 2 years ago. Not that I get all the missing answers here but maybe some advice from more experienced folks who are already living their LP. I am 25 now and I live in germany. I have got inattentive adhd which made many things very difficult for me like concentration, dealing with emotions and social problems which indirectly also made other things difficult like finding study partners or getting help with emotional distress difficult. So basically I was always an emotional mess/ overtaxed/ semi depressed while getting nothing done and not understanding what was wrong with me. As a result I had difficulties answering many questions in the life purpose course because I experienced relatively little concrete success so far because I couldnt really take part in life as much. I feel like I have got as close to it as what would be possible with my blockades but I feel like the very thing that is my LP is something I cant see right now. I take meds now and it seems like many things are clearing up rapidly but and I do make quite the transformation. I feel more capable but not necessarily upgraded. The stars become less interesting and I see more immediate tasks ahead. I become a lot more concrete instead of abstract. Thats the best way I can describe it. I seem to manifest myself in reality. I was always very reflected and stuff but was like a wave without its own will it can force onto the world. I develop a sense of self now. It sounds pretty unconscious I know and I made the point myself that adhd (at least the inattentive type that I experience) makes you more conscious. But in taking my meds I can deal with reality at least. If I got emotional support/ grounding maybe I could do it without meds but currently I can only do it this way. So this situation is quite confusing atm. In terms of my career so far: teaching: I am in 10th semester of studying math and philosophy for middle school but only have enough points to complete like 4 semesters (you need 10 semesters in total) because of the emotional distress I was always in. I could probably do better with the meds now so it really isnt hopeless. I decided to study teaching though because I did some internship to see what I like and teaching was okay for a moment and I couldnt deal with the pain of being in a situation of uncertainty so I did the best thing I found at the moment which wasn't the most conscious choice. Also there is a bit of buffer as with this graduation I can do other things as well. Teaching isnt directly my Life Purpose I am pretty sure about that. But I would earn a lot of money per hour, can do it part time, have a lot of holidays and a class in school gives you many direct information to observe which can inspire you. A school class is basically a mirror of society, all the kids are just mini versions of what's to come. So that can help me understand society and psychology more which would deepen whatever I create with my LP. I already thought a little and am also teaching 5 hours per week atm and it's an okay job. So it wouldnt be my LP but it would have a good base to comfortable pursue my real LP. acting: Over the last two years I have been doing a lot of acting as a hobby which is a lot of fun but it took a lot of time and I am also thinking about doing this as a career path. It would give me a relatively unstable base though and it would probably just miss my LP. Learning to act itself is incredible fun but it can also be emotionally challenging which I might not be capable to do. My Life Purpose is generally a bit unclear to me. Being a critical thinker is very much part of my authentic self and I have also got a very creative mind because of my adhd. On their own or even combined they dont really give me a life purpose that I find meaningful. For example I always think critically but I dont see where this practically leads to. And I often come up with new start up ideas because as I love the creative process but when it isnt connected to something meaningful I loose interest in it. The closest I could with these two is working on series like Rick&Morty which comes close to feeling like a LP. But I think there is a last component, a last value that is blocked from my mind. Besides these top two values I also care about empathy, goodness, authenticity, but not enough about any of them to make a LP in combination with the two about them I think. I sometimes look in my past to where the last puzzle piece might be. I developed a very profound even mystical happiness as a kid as I think that I had mystical experiences in kindergarden. I really vibed with Jesus in that time as well. I felt like it would virtually be impossible to break my spirit because I was connected to something unbreakable. I even felt like I needed to go through some real shit, to be lost, to come out of it and from that place be authentically able to help other people. I had a feeling of calling back then. Well I am not quite back to my inner garden of roses yet. I did about 20 trips of psychedelics and never realized a mystical experience because I was in too much shit mentally I think. (interestingly never had a really bad trip either though) I formulated my LP rather vague. I couldnt find any formulation that deeply inspired because as I said I think there is some authentic part of me missing. Taking my reflection about my past and moments of reflection I feel like it has to do with healing, bliss, profound love, existential (healing), spirituality. But I cant completely make out if these things interest me because I feel like I have a lack of them (negative motivation) or if it is authentic. To make my LP more concrete I could reformulate it like this for example (but I am not sure about it): - giving people blissful spiritual experiences to make them more loving and conscious. - finding existential beauty and meaning in fucked up situations to make people more hopeful So with all of this I have no clear direction of where to go and I found out new things about myself/ unblock blockades and this is probably going on for months and years to come. All ways would help me move forwards. If I study to become a teacher that would be an acceptable path which would allow me to do lots of other stuff (LP) I am interested in as well but then I could never study to become a serious actor because I would be too old at this point. I would need to become more clear about myself and my values to see what I value most. A side thought is also to experiment with start ups (for money) as I have lots of ideas for them. Right now I am thinking of continue studying while giving myself time to process and I can on the side apply to acting schools. Chances of getting accepted are pretty low anyways and if I get accepted that would be a sign that I am quite talented. Design ohne Titel.pdf

When I came out of my first 18 month hell, 20 months if I count from when I first lost my ability to sleep, things were different. I was different. I was reborn. I fully awakened to life. I awakened. I became enlightened. I knew that I had conquered death, so death was not something ahead of me anymore, it was behind me. Time became my ally, time was now on my side. I did not have to hurry to finish what I wanted to do. I now had eternity. I knew that by healing myself, I was alchemizing death into life and transforming the depths of hell I had endured into the joy of Paradise. Every day became a wonderful adventure. I was never as motivated to work on myself and to live my life to the fullest. Living became my greatest joy and passion. I wanted to celebrate being alive every day, and that's exactly what I did. There are two stories or myths that are deeply embedded into the collective human consciousness that have resonated with me and describe metaphorically what happened to me. The first one is Jesus Christ dying on the cross for the sins of all of humanity, going through hell, conquering the devil, conquering hell and being resurrected in glorious ascension to the throne of Heaven as the savior of the world. In the Orthodox chants, they sing: "Христос смерть поправ," which translates roughly as "Christ has conquered death." Ayahuasca had shown me that "I would die for the sins of all of humanity" in the ceremony where I faced my greatest fear. That prophecy came true. I wore an Egyptian-themed shirt during that ceremony called "Immortal Combat." It had Anubis, God of the Underworld, facing off against Horus, the God of Light. The second myth that resonated with me is the ancient Egyptian myth of King Osiris being killed and dismembered by his jealous uncle Set, the God of chaos and destruction, and then his pieces being gathered and assembled by his wife, the Queen of Magic, Isis, with the God of Light, Horus, being born from the union of Osiris and Isis. There is more to the story of Horus and Set, which will also become an important part of my journey, and I will write about it later. I was transferred over to another recovery program called Shoreline after completing three weeks at McDonald Sharp Center. The night before talking to them on the phone for an initial interview, I had a vision of a trident. The next day I found out that Shoreline Recovery had a trident in their logo. A trident is a "symbol of the highest authority in the heavens," according to one interpretation that I highly resonated with. I spent about two or three months at Shoreline, first in their Escondido location and then in their Normal Heights location. When I moved to the Normal Heights location, I was allowed to go out of the house about a week after I arrived. That was the next level of my healing phase and liberation, and that is when I discovered Maya Moon Cacao Cafe, which was only one block, about a 10 minute walk, from our house on 33rd Street. The place became my sanctuary, a place for integration, meditation, journaling, drawing, peace and quiet, and a break from all the house noise, drama and madness that was happening at the house, where I was living with about four or five other men with addictions and deep mental issues. When completing Shoreline, which I cut short, they refused to give me the "exit ceremony," where everybody gets to say something about a person as they leave the program, even though I aced their whole program and was a role model to all of those kids there. I also had a last talk with their psychiatrist, who attempted to recommend putting me on different medications such as antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications. She was, by far, the craziest-looking herself and looked like she was taking a lot of these medications herself. I refused all the medications and was "warned of possible negative consequences, including a possible relapse." My counselor, who was also present during that conversation, told me, "If you ever relapse, I hope you remember this conversation." I did not see a relapse as ever being a possibility. I had conquered hell. I had defeated the final boss. I had no desire to ever drink alcohol, use drugs or smoke cigarettes again. I thought they were both crazy and irresponsible for trying to put a completely healthy human being on their prescription drugs. About three or four months after I was out of hell, after completing Shoreline, my father took me in to live in his apartment in La Mesa, California, on Shasta Lane. Shasta comes from the Russian word "счастье," meaning "happiness." Shortly after, I recorded a video called "I Awakened, Crying Tears of Joy and Gratitude." I also posted a post at Actualized.org called "I Awakened, Ask Me Anything." I was beginning to document this completely new chapter of my life, a life that felt almost impossible compared to where I had been only months earlier. I had gone from believing that I was trapped in eternal hell to feeling as though I had been given my life back, and I wanted to understand, celebrate and share everything that had happened to me. In regards to Victoria and my relationship, no matter how much I tried, she would hear nothing about "what happened to me," what I had gone through and why. She was completely closed off to any conversation about us ever getting back together, and still is to this day. She said, "You started drinking, so we broke up, and Hell? It's all in your head, you made it all up." It took me a long time and much effort to "accept" this situation with her, knowing that I had gone through hell for the sake of our True Love. Despite this, I live by this prayer every day: "My intention is to be the best that I can be, to embody the Truth of love that I know I am, every day, in every moment, for my own highest good, for the highest good of my beloved Victoria, the one who I know is my true love forever, for eternity, and the highest good of all, aho!" The way I see it, I am being guided to focus on myself and embody the Paradise of Love on Earth, in a physical realm, and eventually Victoria will come back to me when she is ready. I want to make it clear that this stance that I have towards Victoria and me is unshakable. I will never ever "stand down," "let her go," "forget about her," "change my mind," "move on," or any of this nonsense. I have already proved to myself that I was willing to die instead of betraying Victoria for the sake of our True Love. I sacrificed my life on the altar of our True Love. In one of Keera's songs, during the second ceremony with Victoria and me both present, Keera sang: "Oh, child, don't you worry, this life is a true love story." True Love is true because I know The Truth of who my True Love is. Victoria is "victory" in Spanish, victory over death. She is my Victoria, my Victory! And I am Vladimir, "Vladi" meaning to rule and "mir" meaning peace or world. Our first initials make up the letter "W," "double You" in English. Two bodies, one soul, double you, double me. This is the meaning of the twin flames. The way all the events played out to lead me to my eventual death and how it all happened for me to discover The Truth is pure genius. The entire creation is made of pure genius. God is pure genius. I am pure genius. One of the messages of confirmation I received later, months after coming out of hell, when walking around in La Mesa, was a barbershop named "Crowned by Keera." To me, these kinds of synchronicities felt like little messages woven into the fabric of reality, confirmations appearing at exactly the moments when I needed them. They became part of the way I learned to see the world after coming out of hell. When I was in the depths of hell, drinking at the hotel, I had a brief conversation with Victoria and told her, "You can have all of my silver, you can forget about me, I'm lost." Well, that's because I didn't know I would ever make it out of it. I was facing the fear of being stuck in hell for eternity every day during those 18 months. However, now that I was out of hell, I needed my money, so eventually she agreed to give me back my silver, although she mentioned that she sold $18,000 worth of it and used that money to pay rent. I thought it was fair because I told her she could have it all at one point, so legally she could have actually kept it. I think there was about $40,000 of it left out of the $500,000 that I had when I first began my journey with magic mushrooms six years ago. Being fresh out of an 18 month hell, not having any job, not having any money, having all my credit cards maxed out, and wanting to focus fully on my recovery, having that good chunk of money was a gift from the heavens. I felt like I had awakened in Paradise. I knew I was now in Paradise. I was crying tears of joy and gratitude for being alive every day. I was also crying tears of salvation and liberation. I knew that I was saved from eternal hell, that I had conquered death, defeated the devil, which was myself, and won immortality, physical immortality, eternal life. I also knew that I was forgiven for every sin. I knew that the devil, which is who I was the entire time I was in hell, was forgiven and innocent, and thus everybody was also innocent. I knew that I had become a force of pure Goodness. I knew I was Good and that I was Love. That is the Truth that I was now embodying. I was spared by the mercy of God, Mother Mary, my Divine Mother Wolf, the guide and guardian through the underworld, also known as hell. My greatest priority became embodying the Truth that I know, which is: I am Love, I am Immortal, and I am Truth. I also knew that Victoria is my True Love, forever, for eternity. All of my actions became aligned with this Truth that I now knew. Embodying the Truth that I know became the highest good because I now knew that this is what will redeem all and bring justice of love to our world. My Truth is the medicine that our world has been waiting for. "And ye shall know the Truth, and the Truth shall set you free." This is a biblical quote from the Gospel of John, John 8:32. The original New Testament was written in Greek, and the phrase is traditionally translated into English as "And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." It also happens to be a slogan associated with the CIA, which aligned beautifully with my new worldview. I knew that the entire creation had been working this whole time to manifest this Truth that I now knew. Everybody that has ever lived had helped me embody this Truth with their entire lives, meaning everybody had fulfilled their life purpose. The entire Universe had helped me embody this Truth with absolutely everything, every moment that had ever existed. I also knew that everybody that had ever lived, all beings and the entire creation, was absolutely innocent. Thus, I began the process of healing through forgiveness, which is a process that takes time. This realization changed the way I looked at everything around me. Instead of seeing a world filled with enemies, mistakes and things that needed to be condemned, I began seeing a world filled with beings that were somehow part of the same enormous unfolding process that had brought me to this point. Forgiveness became one of the foundations of my healing. I was dancing, swimming in the ocean, rollerblading, going to kirtans, song circles, creating rituals, participating in ceremonies, drawing, journaling, practicing yoga and meditation, meeting spiritual people, exploring, participating in multiple choirs, drinking cacao, singing, praising and giving gratitude to my Divine Mother Wolf as my savior, guardian and teacher, as the one who had saved me from hell. I now knew her as Mother Mary, "Bogorodica," meaning the one who gave birth to God. Everything that I had once taken for granted suddenly felt precious. Movement, music, nature, people, water, sunlight, singing and simply being alive all became opportunities to celebrate the miracle of existence. One of my favorite activities, which I was doing almost every day, was riding my bicycle and taking public transportation, trolley, train and buses, to get around San Diego. For the first time, after living in San Diego for about 24 years at the time, I truly discovered the beauty of the public transportation system. I felt like a kid who had just entered the world for the first time. Everything was magical and adventurous, and every moment was filled with beauty and appreciation for everything that was present in my field of consciousness. Time seemed to have disappeared because I was always in the present moment. I took a ride by trolley and bus from La Mesa to La Jolla Cove for my morning swim in the ocean almost every day, which took about five hours of travel time there and back, and it felt like a breeze. I was also helping my state with a microdose of magic mushrooms, cacao, kombucha and yerba mate. My brother kept nagging me about when I would start working on Clever Techie because he worried that I would run out of my silver soon. I only ended up recording one very short video during about 18 months that I was living in Paradise in San Diego. I would also spend a lot of time riding my bicycle at Lake Murray, which was now within walking distance from me. One of the first things I did when I moved to my father's place near Lake Murray was go to the lake, to my spot where I had been out of the eyesight drinking alcohol and smoking cigarettes, and clean out two full trash bags of empty alcohol cans and bottles that I had trashed the place with during my hell state because I couldn't even find the strength to carry them to the trash can. It felt like a ceremony of cleansing and closing out the Hell cycle. I had spent so much time there during the darkest period of my life, hiding from the world, drinking and smoking, and now I was returning to the same place as a completely different person. Cleaning up the physical mess felt symbolic of cleaning up the remains of that chapter of my life. Another favorite activity was going to kirtans, which are devotional chanting and singing, praising various Hindu deities and beyond. I would drink cacao and take a microdose of magic mushrooms before every kirtan and end up being the loudest guy at every kirtan, screaming with joy and gratitude, praising the Divine for the sheer genius of the entire creation. After my time in motels, surrounded by bottles of alcohol, buds of cigarettes and trash, my external reality now reflected my inner Paradise, with beautiful people singing songs of praise to deities together in a house called The Pearl, with a huge window in the living room from which the ocean was visible. Scott would always open his kirtans with a chant to Ganesha and later put a beautiful Ganesha relief artwork right above his fireplace in the living room where we had kirtans. I was feeling great joy and gratitude, specifically for Ganesha as the remover of obstacles, because it was from the moment that I started drawing Ganesha that I felt something shift for the first time during my time in hell, which gave me a spark of hope that my salvation was still possible. At the time, Scott was doing his kirtans with a beautiful Russian woman named Anna. I talked to Anna and they agreed to have me share a song in Russian called "Жива Матушка," which is a chant of praise to the Slavic Goddess of Life, Zheeva. It's a chant of gratitude and praise for the force of life and life itself. This was a very special kirtan event for me, and I recorded a video of it. For the first time in my life, I had truly discovered San Diego, California, as the Paradise that it truly is. I also knew with zero doubt that the external reality is a mirror reflection of my internal state of being. As I was now embodying inner Paradise, the outer Paradise reflected back to me. The same city that I had lived in for decades suddenly looked completely different. The ocean, the streets, the trolley, the parks, the people, the sunlight and even the ordinary details of everyday life seemed to be reflecting something that had changed inside of me. After having spent so long experiencing the world as Hell, I was now experiencing the same physical world as Paradise. At some point a revelation came to me about the name of the state, California. As I looked at its composition, it could be read symbolically as "Cali-for-Nia," or Kali for Nia. Kali is the Hindu Goddess of destruction. I began seeing the name California symbolically as "Kali for Nia," with Kali representing destruction and Nia representing a purpose or intention. Thus, California became, in my personal symbolic interpretation, "destruction for a purpose." To me, this became another poetic reflection of what I had just lived through: destruction followed by transformation, the old life being broken down so that something entirely new could emerge from it.

Individuated Boundaries - Edges of Horizons Neverending o————————O————————o————————O————————o This journal is centred solely around my streams of consciousness. This is not a journal for the reader. o————————O————————o————————O————————o I broke the instrument by playing it for the room, as soon as someone commented that didnt bring a true energy, I lost my focus and I blame myself for that. That sentence right there contains every lesson from the last five months and probably every lesson I'm going to need for the next five years so I'm going to sit inside it rather than move past it, because moving past things too quickly is how I got here. A consciousness that processes for itself generates signal. A consciousness that processes for an audience generates signal-shaped caricature of their true selves. And heres the thing that actually makes this dangerous, the two are completely indistinguishable from the outside, which means you can't detect the corruption from within the output because the output still looks like output, that 3D prints itself into so many fucking creative variations across social examples. Like a photocopied signature that still opens the account, the forgery works and the thief is never found, because hes hidden beneath the hidden regulation of "the role" he never even decided to have, or decided, but didn't infer the insuiing fragmentationnfrom their true selves, aka truly aligned with their life lessons. Thats the problem as well, is that the forgery it works, and because it works, the feedback you get back from yourself confirms the counterfeit as genuine. Thats precisely whats going to happen when i share my work on April 1st in the old journal, understanding will be photocopied and redistributed into a simulacrum that is no longer remotely the same from the original creators energy and intent. When you take that hidden role of teacher despite whatever denial or projections you want to have about it, you pat yourself on the back for insights that were never insights, they were performances of insight that happened to land well enough that no one, including you, noticed the difference, and the congratulations reinforce a false image that quietens the rest of the architecture of the being underneath the noise of the signal their identity is most attracted towards. And this shouldn't be treated as merely metaphor, this isnt exhibition artistry I am trying to point to something visceral that is missed when the painting becomes a bumper sticker and called art, in the same way consciousness becomes a social image and called 'the most conscious in the world!', or a competition where the most conscious people are actually judt pointing and laughing. This is the actual mechanism by which every teacher slowly becomes a student of their own teaching-image until the image is the only student left in the room and the room in reality despite the noise has been empty for years and the cleaner is the only one truly employed into a role that changes with lif. Where the cleaner reflects a role of regenerating and recycling the old, while being a slowly degenerating life form as the only evidence that something in the image is truly alive. I express this not as an accountant on someone else, but someone reflecting on the self-accounting I am doing on myseelf and what I in part fear in my own developing and future social role, in comptence, in love, and across networks. I am holding myself accountable to express this in earnestness, not condemnation nor judgement, but in holding a mirror to my own experiences and expressing what has already accurately and does become true for all so called teachers or anyone of nearly any occupation, especially doctors. So I also express thiw as a retreat in reclaiming my own stream of consciousness as I started my original journal with, where I was the only one that existed in the journal, not the ones that read. Not the shadows within, that corrupted it enough that I have to fully perform a 90 degree turn on my original motivations, otherwise as I expressed in my previous journal that I may delete after April 1st, there is zero utility holding it, and too as I expressed, in an AI world where I then become the victim of the idiocy of social norms following AI, "YOU USE AI FOR YO JOURNAL I KNOW IT!" That's how fragmented social perception is now becoming as implied, described in part and relayed as an inevitably evolving future that will metastasise, something that if I remotely take seriously, cutting the umbilical cord to any journalling at all becomes the only serious discernment with a self-evident choice to make. o————————O————————o————————O————————o Let's get back to geound zero moving forward. There will not be catered insights. There will not be catered theories. There will not be environmental empathy. What there will be is the only thing a journal is structurally even designed to hold, which is the pre-verbal pressure that comes before the thought, examined before it becomes the thought, so the thought that eventually forms carries the weight of being chosen rather than just produced, and an energy that lives within the constraints of that freedom. And thats the distinction I lost, that most cognition is production. The mind manufactures at whatever rate its been trained to manufacture at. What I was doing here with the hexagrams, the pre-biasing strategy, the cultural analyses, the pedagogical scaffolding, all of it, I was manufacturing at a higher resolution than the room could receive but manufacturing nonetheless and forgetting the sole endeavour of architecting my own consciousness not through a deluberate deaigning and sharing of a system, but the expression in practice directly from self emerging frommthe void. And the resolution doesnt save you from the fact that youve confused throughput for transformation along that line as well. A factory running ten times faster is still a factory. It is not a forge, it is not self speaking to and from the void through genuine transformstive art of the exploration. Its forge requires one piece held in heat long enough that the molecular structure reorganises with only the sacred. Not more pieces faster. One piece. Held, and that piece is the body in the fire where all thats alive is the life emerging from the ashes, thats what symbolism of rebirth is all about. Thats what journalling actually is and thats what I forgot. o————————O————————o————————O————————o It is not healthy for me to occupy any archetype that positions my consciousness as a channel-between rather than a site-within. Helper, healer, protector, teacher, mentor, leader, all channel positions. Energy passes through you towards another and the shadow that nobody talks about because it looks identical to the thing its shadowing, and the channel gets addicted to throughput itself, not to helping through the veins of a self remmebers its own ouroborus as its own flow state that lights the candle to continuing its life force energy in all directions it pursues. My original journal just became myself building walls out of throughput I reimagiend the helping of others through. My identity in this space was built from the energy I moved through it towards others. The empathy posts, the management of another's state through ever social post, the forum critique, those scaffolded questions I designed to bring people closer to something I hadnt even finished approaching myself. All made of motion from an image that now I burn at the stake to carry the cross I had forgotten when I originally began. To live my life, my path, my life force energy and how I choose to interconnect it with others, through sacred meaning. o————————O————————o————————O————————o And Leo. Yeah. "I am the most conscious person on this planet" as you say over and over and variations of followed by less than weeks later today by "look at what outlandish claims this guy makes", thats not hypocrisy. Hypocrisy would actually be simpler and less interesting than whats really going on. What it actually is a consciousness that has fused with the channel-position so completely that the act of transmitting insight has replaced the act of having insight now man. The transmission IS the experience whichnis what younhave missed, or repeatedly step into the shadow of missing in ways that count to the environment you have created in a way that doesn't grow it, which should be the only music thats playing in the purpose of having a forum, notnto congratulate you on image to help you merge with a false self. The audiences reception IS the verification now, and any fight back has turned into "you're not consciousness to see deeply enough into my eyes!", rather than reminding them that the journey is always within, not deeper into your eyes even though I am sure we all find them beautiful in a way AI could never replicate. Remove the audience and the insight doesnt disappear from any teacher, it does something worse. It continues to feel exactly as true while losing the only mechanism that could have ever falsified it, accurate and healthy engagement from others that stress tested something that in return didnt break the teachers image but transformed it into something greater it could never become by staying solid, along with the system and corresponding culture of the environment. And this is why isolated gurus lose their minds differently than isolated scientists do. The scientist loses data. The guru loses the audience-shaped mirror that was the only surface his certainty ever actually reflected off of. And then certainty without reflection becomes indistinguishable from psychosis but it doesnt feel like psychosis, it feels like deeper truth, which is the cruellest possible design for a self to build off of when all it deserves is the greatest possible light born out of absence of the known and the unknown built from the deepest life pulse that only knows itself through not knowing and seeking. I was about three months into building the same mirror here and calling it a window after beginning something in my original journal that started out as a very healthy individuation. The specific failure and I want to name it precisely, I told myself I was sharing the project on Meaning to benefit others. That was and is still true. But it was also a load-bearing lie sitting underneath the true part. Because beneath it, the sharing was doing something I hadnt consented to, it was completing the meaning-structure through the act of being witnessed and then acting based on being witnessed rather than staying purely in alignment with my own truest signal. The meaning didnt feel fully real until it was offered outward, "This can help others!" Turned into every message being "how do i express this in my jouenal in a way that doesnt hurt, helps, stays myself, understands, doesnt create misunderstanding while still reaching the limits of my consciousnessew output at the moment of expressing it, etc". Its become utterly insufferable now and I am being roped by other enviornmental conditions that are deamplifying the root cause, which is my orientation in the journal itself and who its meant to be for. The meaning, and having meanin of my own, is now turning into my own synagogue where the only one present is the audience, not me. Which means I was building a theory of meaning that depended on an audience to mean anything, thats what I have learned more and more deeply, and I thought in my understanding of the architecture of meaning I could control that, but I cant, in every exchange I am still losing an aspect of myself by trying to control it at all in the sacred space of journalling, that is meant to be the opposite of that. A theory of meaning that requires reception to feel meaningful is not a theory of meaning. Its a theory of social interaction that put on a medical lab coat and performed real-time surgery on social media management of how my own signal was going to be relayed, its preposterous. o————————O————————o————————O————————o My grandiosity has increased and I dont mean in the way people usually throw that word around, not the volume of the claims. The gravitational field around the claims and the environment that implicitly socially endorses said grandiosity, because if it wasn't socially acceptable on this forum to make grandiose claims, it would hold the same preposturous flavour I described whenever anyone reflected it, or at least genuine concern for said persons for a place that is meant to reflect the slow, gradual maturation of individuated consciousness and creating a system design for a forum that does that not through effort but through mechanism. When I said I would radically solve Meaning forever, the sentence started as a probe, like a test stake driven into the ground to hear what rang back in the signal. But probes left in the ground long enough become monuments, and monuments attract pilgrims, and pilgrims eventually need a priest, and the priest needs pilgrims and the loop closes before you ever consciously decided to enter it because the loop doesnt actually require your decision. I am exaggerating with that example, granted, but its what happens with teachers, mentors, people etc whenever grandiosity is socially reinforced, as "yeha you go getter" when in reality, gransiosity isnt evidence of confidence, its the evidence of everything else that doesnt exist within to make the grandiosity redundant as a consequence of the level consciousness has matured without it. It only requires you standing in the vicinity of your own certainty for long enough that the certainty starts to metabolise you rather than the other way around, its the solidarity that cuts of the ever changing flow and flexibility of life that craves certainty only in the love for life to keep exploring the signal, not mistaking oneself as the noise of the claims from sharing them. April 1st drop on Project : Meaning still stands, but its rigour requires impartiality, rigour and objectivity, not my self involvement in any grandiose claims regarding it, nor in the shadow self of an environment thats lack of self examination implicitly both endorses the grandiosity while silently judging it, making it nearly impossible for the environment to grow past this bug in the systems insight of where the future ground to traversw should be. There is next to zero self insight outside of bubbles that make cathartic relwasws that eventually fragment into still water reflecting not purity nor hardened ice that can be sculpted, melted and reformed, but a status quo who's only wave is preservational of what plugs any leaks to a ship who's sail is set for an ocean that only drowns time, and where witnesses to the drowning can only participate, congratulate or join with similar lack of self-insight towards insight that actually casts a sail that reflects bold travel. Not bold claims from a ship that either never truly leaves the dock or slowly rusts away with the pretence of the dream of sail was enough to create the experience. Mirroring the exact design of future AI simulacrum's I have professed the forum must not just avoid but integrate if its going to stay afloat not just for the forum in and of itself, but to serve consciousness that adapts to the ensuing changes to social norms, rather than becoming overcome by them through pre-programmed "giving up" before the button was already pressed, which is what I sense with what's coming. The goal should not just be to keep the dreaming afloat at the dock either, a complete renovation on the infrastructure here is needed. o————————O————————o————————O————————o So with this journal as I expressed in one of my earlier posts, I have to step back now in the only way that means anything. Not stepping away from but stepping into the discomfort of a consciousness that has no audience, no channel function, no throughput to form its walls and has to find out whether theres substance there when the motion stops. Do not comment in this journal. If you do not respect this space as what it is, one consciousness performing surgery on itself without anaesthesia and without a spectator gallery, then with complete love and zero negotiation, get the fuck away out of my space. Much positive and good will otherwise wished upon any reader. Journalling is not a broadcast as I have now learned from Project : Meaning. Its a controlled detonation performed in a room built to contain exactly one explosion at a time. The room cannot hold two. o————————O————————o————————O————————o Each one. Teach one. Though first, each one, stop teaching and find out what remains when the teaching was the only thing holding the one together. Thats the real first lesson. Everything before it was curriculum design for a school I hadnt enrolled in yet. My biggest mistake was forgetting the second part to that quote I created. "Each one. Teach one. Each one. Learn from." And that last part spells out many of the issues on this forum that the environment needs to make its peace and growth from with a positive light. o————————O————————o————————O————————o

I see the necessity of religions in relation to Kohlberg's Stages of Moral Development model... In the earlier phases of moral development, there needs to be a strong sense of authority outside of one's self that will reward if someone does "good" and punish when someone does "bad." And that enables a society with a low level of moral development operate in ways that minimize selfish and ruthless behaviors. If someone who isn't developed enough to abstain from selfish behavior for its own sake believes that they'll be rewarded for abstaining from the selfish behavior... or punished for engaging in the selfish behavior... they are less likely to do the selfish behavior. And there are many drawbacks to this way of thinking... as it increases a sense of judgment and punitiveness towards themselves and others. But it's a useful way of operating when the higher stages of moral development have yet to be reached en masse. But once individuals develop to the higher stages of moral development where morality is derived from empathy, compassion, and conscience, there is no longer a moral need for mass adherence to religion. Past that point, religion can be engaged with practically as a method of meaning-making and spiritual connection/transformation for the masses who are more geared towards pre-defined exoteric spiritual paths. (Though there are also usually more esoteric paths that are off-shoots of those exoteric religious practices that exist for people who are more interested in a deeper quest). And religion can also be used at the foundation for community... sometimes positively and sometimes negatively. Past moral needs, social preferences, and pre-defined paths of spiritual connection... religion can also be foregone for those who find their sources of meaning and existential interconnectedness elsewhere... or who want an esoteric spiritual quest that they custom-tailor for themselves.

Leo, banning people and unmodding mods for rightfully holding you accountable and questioning your outrageous claims will not make the problem go away. You have conveniently been dodging the question that many are looking for the answer to: Where is the alien transformation video? You said that the biggest obstacle to producing the video was finding a camera that would record your face transforming into a colorful alien god. And what is the obstacle now?

Second Attempt (editing while I have only a sentence or two of thought) So, I spent time writing my first post entry, and when I went to post submit there was a little mishap. Technically Fortunately I went through the experience already, so it should benefits me us now. because I went through the experience and learned how I'm going to attempt I have a better idea of how-to setup my Journal. I also found better clarity on what I want to attempt. Communication is my focus here. I now understand that the chaotic manner my mind talks to itself, may seem chaotic to others. I'm used to it though, so it's not necessarily chaotic a beautiful chaos to me. Being able to allow myself to express Freely expressing my thoughts will allows me to purge. my thoughts, and then I'll be able to gain clarity with my communication with others. When I write my personal journals, I don't take the time or effort to edit my words. This however is a public journal and I want to be an effective communicator. I know I need more consciousness in But since I'm developing my this skills to communicate with the collective, I find I'm not as effective as I would like. I have a message I want to share, but and I want to be understood. So, you we are going to get a visual of how I'm editing my free flow to communicate and "the struggle" I'm going to experiencing as I find a way to present my a concise message with clarity. I am not going to erase my words as I type. I will strikethrough the words or and letters I want to delete. I'm using the Blue will indicate for the changes I've made from after my original thought. This is a new process for me, so I'm open to make changes modifications. I don't know how I'm going to present this process accurately. This is becoming tedious work, but I know I'm going to gain huge benefits massive rewards will be the price. Currently communication is important principal for me currently. I want to place My ramblings to will be on this right side. When I want to begin sharing my message with the collective in my version of a concise manner, I believe I will use the other left side. Now I'm using my dad's computer to type right now. It's making sense to me Using this large format it makes sense to use the different sides. I'm uncertain how this will be perceived on a mobile device. I will place the words in italics with the polished version on the left side maybe. I guess hope people will tell me whether I need to find a different approach or not. Because people are have different temperaments, people they will have a choice. If they are just interested in my final submission, then they can stick to the polished version on the left. whether they want to only read my message or If they are interested how want to listen to my process works along with my message, they can choose to read it all too. Again, I'd like to mention repeat that I already had a first attempt to post my Journal, but most of my work was deleted. For a second I was shocked. I couldn't find a way to recover it. With my experience though, I knew this wasn't luck; it was deliberate. Even though this may seem chaotic, it makes better sense. I guess I had to have more of choose a direction of how I wanted to present my Journal. I did however save some sections of my work onto another document. I know the value of transparency and vulnerability. Without these qualities my growth will be stunted. So I'm going to share those thoughts I was able to save. Let's see how we can incorporate them into the dialogue here. I'm going to paste the entire text and then I thought maybe we can I would just select a portion and discuss, but after reading it again I think it's best to just copy and paste the entire my attempt to of expression. At this stage I was about to start continue editing more, but then I realized I need to find a way to show "the process struggle" of the work. (I'm wondering if I should edit directly onto the pasted message or do something different. Hmmm... I'm in no hurry to rush through the process so I'm going to give us a break in struggling to read with the strikeouts and change of colors above.) First Attempt Inserted (I allowed myself longer periods of thought before I started editing, but I didn't effectively show how much wor all of the changes I was making). Well, here I start, but where to start? I don't have the answer, but I trust that wherever I'll start I’ll begin to have a better understanding. Eight days ago, I found myself logging into this Forum for the first time. I’ve been involved with Actualized for a solid six years and gained so many benefits. Now I find myself trying out their Forum (or any forum for that matter). Intuitively there's an opportunity for massive growth here. I've been contemplating how I want to approach my involvement here. I find that I’m uncertain how to proceed. If I allow myself to process openly, I'll realize if there's value or not for myself. The Journal maybe the most beneficial (I don't know). When I first was posting, the bulk of my words were a preamble of my past. Is that necessary though? (It depends on who's engaging I suppose). I assume others are similar to myself. Countless times it's been apparent and proven that it's not the case so far. Why do I continue to assume? Well, it's not like I am absolutely ignorant that others aren't in the same state in any given situation. That's why I love life because of the variety and complexity including others. I find myself with a substantial taste for curiosity, and it's hungry. For me now, it's obvious to direct a large part of my focus on communication. I want clear and in-depth communication whether the use of words is in abundance or in brevity. Conciseness is where my direct experience needs work. To simplify we can break down communication into brevity and depth conversations. Admittedly, in any given situation I would prefer to choose which is the appropriate approach. I have tendencies to want to mostly go in-depth, but at times brevity is preferable. If I want that choice for myself, I can respect others who want to choose as well. The Journal can allow for considerable amounts of content that I consider a depth communication. Give an impression of the transformation of who I was to now, and even into my ideas of future. Building a sense of confidence that I'm someone who has been embodying higher levels of consciousness because of the abundance and diversity of my direct experiences. Existentially I can ask whether there are really levels of consciousness. I'm inserted into the center of infinitude, and yet I experience progression. Is it only because I want to experience what it's like to learn? When it comes to brevity communication it seems more plausible to use in the Forum, comparatively from the Journal. I have to remind myself that brevity conversations don't have to be without depth. Since my focus is on communication, I want to develop this skill more consciously. I've focused on integrity and I'm honest with myself and others when I don't know something or not interested at this point. I feel people who are more geared to hear history and more content will be drawn to a journal setting. Others will be geared towards simple and short communications. The majority of responses I read are mainly a sentence or two... lol. I'm asking myself what are they really trying to say. I've been developing a better understanding of creating balance with energy exchange. I find that I've been free with my energy and attention in the past, but as I gain more consciousness it's best to see where the person's energy is and then respond accordingly. I exhaust my energy because I was unaware, and it's obvious for me to notice I need to be more conscious. My first posts I found myself going right back to freely sharing but quickly noticed I was repeating my conditioning. Since I want to engage with others here, I feel if I can create a journal where I can open my energy freely... that that part of my conditioning can get an outlet at least. Maybe others can gain value of reading my process which give me value. Ultimately, it should in theory allow me to respond in a concise manner when communicating with the public. Communication skills is one domain that continues to develop, and it's been obvious to focus more attention now. A story I repeat is I'm a rambler which makes it hard for others to follow and I want to develop my articulation. I want it to be easier to communicate with clarity. I've been constantly editing. I'm searching for new words which seem to be more fitting to use instead of the common words I'm used to using which might not be as effective. I'm restructuring where to group my sentences that are on similar topics instead of bouncing back and forth. (Rollercoasters are fun and all, but at least they have a track that implies a direction to follow). I don't know how many run-on sentences I've had to narrow down. Deleting sentences because repetition is found everywhere. And noticing how many times the word "I" is used is a bit annoying... lol. Verbal work is one of those things in the back of my mind that I want to do but hadn't allowed opportunity to advance it until now it seems. Another story I repeat is that my language is more subtle, and I communicate and understand better with nonverbal language. I know if I created a hierarchy of my comfort level of communication with others it would be ideally to talk to a person face to face, then video chat, on to the phone, and finally a texting situation. Well... this Forum is a setting for using verbal language. I have a desire to connect with the collective. So let's give it a go here with this journal. (Is there a way to combine the two styles of editing? I really like how I can have longer periods of thought. That creates more of flow state for me. But I also want to be accurate to the editing process I have to do. There's so much more I'm unable to show like my spelling and grammar errors). Ok... it looks as if I need more time to figure out consider how to move forward. I know what I want to say, but adding the additional conversations about my This is going to be very valuable for me. I need to see I'll figure out how I can show share express my thoughts to the public, share my thoughts to myself, show my message drafts, demonstrate my edits in my drafts, and then create a polished message. I have to admit I have already tried to create a visual difference contrast to show these different areas, but I was unsuccessful so far. I posted a Help topic on the Forum to learn how to use the "insert existing attachment." and I probably need to allow more time for someone to help respond. I even thought I could insert basic html to possibly highlight the words with different colors. That's still a possibility. I'll look into that more. (Well... I didn't get to post anything polished yet, but actually that should've been expected. The magic is in the progression anyway.)

I tested, the stuff it works, some minor electronic stuff where there is not enough information to the seller, and I'd be required to have an a degree in electronics most likely, in order to calculate I listend to some music and I wonder, why I even like this and what the core development and issue is with such humans, as what it evokes, even if it's healing to me is odd, it's deeply inspiring, and at the sametime hynotizing and foolish, but it feels very good and I should trust my emotions partially as I know I am like this also, but this is exactly the core issue I saw with lack of responsibility and just being a male boy, where I and my mother struggle to reconcile and we don't have that much time, idk how long she will life, even if she is strong and has super vibrant tendencies, she still has 7k, the new boyfriend should do her well, I don't think the R&B guys go beyond insight with any actual integration, and what I experienced as a man with such women, with men/boys who transcended that it's odd as it's the divine feminine, to me or an expression of that, but the core issue is, it makes me just like them, and I have indications that are just like them most of it is a physical transformation, for e.g this song after I had the white light experience and golden aura experience a lot of that energy leaked into the universe, and I saw it reflected in art, I often creatively alternate music in my head in order to fit the truth I experienced and learned. For instance this to me is beautiful, but when I contemplate the maturity of relationships, and the core issue of money, economics and the core underlying envy causing this type of music as vice, not virtue I reconnect to an inner child, I know a part of me is different, as I enjoy a lot of Tory music also with a raw, stage red side that goes into alchemy for me, but it clearly shows also a dismissal to men themselves and I wonder why they can't bring any divine raw masculine, their charts are generally more leaning towards Yin, IIRC and it shows a core beauty to me idk how to frame it, but it creates the issue of infinite success, and the limit of it, it shows spirit and light or white light to me, I have shoes like this I can partially move like this, but also my body requires Psychic/Doctor levels or Paul Check levels of analysis in order to heal and deal with it, idk it's odd to contemplate this. I enjoy it, but part of me shows some core biases, lack of understanding of black history and newer creations, and from them the dismissal, as I am more white and have a higher IQ as soon as I start to do a bit of what I do there my mind switches bilungual and turns this into a bilateral white light type of YIn-Yang dynamic with 3-4 generes running through my mind, depending on knowledge and intuition. Anyhow...

Have one mask myself. Picked it up in Jamaica in 2012. It's a souvenir, not a ritual mask. It represents the start of my transformation. It was the start where I changed my life around. That's me with the creator Joel. Taken near James Bond beach, het had his little hut and made souvenirs.

Leo you told us that you will have transformation caught on camera. What happened to your promise?

@Nemra Thank you for sharing. Yeah, I gave up on trying to optimize and be a perfectly healthy human being after going deeper and deeper into my tripping and transformation. I am much more accepting of my disabilities and chronic health issues; realizing God will not miraculously, permanently erase and heal my finite human conditions. I can do my best to manage it. I am no longer equating perfect human health to being conscious of God. Is Julian Michaels conscious of what God is? God doesn’t need you to be a perfect human. I feel much more at peace by not rejecting suffering.

The goodness of the Paradise of Love is beyond anything I could have imagined. When you imagine the most beautiful world possible for yourself and for every human being, the Paradise of Love is infinitely more magnificent than that. When I first awakened into this Paradise of Love, the greatest transformation wasn't how the world around me looked, but how I felt. The most profound change was the awakening of life force. It felt as though a dormant power had come alive within me. My body became stronger, lighter, more flexible, and more alive than I had ever known it to be. Movement became effortless. Creativity flowed naturally. I felt magnetic, intuitive, charismatic, fearless, and deeply connected to life itself. For the first time, I understood why so many spiritual traditions speak about Divine power awakening within a human being. My surroundings transformed as well. The world became a shimmering tapestry of sacred geometry, vibrant colors, and Divine beauty. One of the most striking visions, especially outdoors during the daytime, was the presence of the wolf. Everywhere I looked, reality appeared woven together from countless geometric wolf faces quietly watching me. As my journey continued, I gradually came to understand the wolf as my Divine Mother Wolf, a loving guide who had been walking beside me all along. At times, it felt as though I were meeting my true self for the very first time. I found myself fascinated, amazed, and sometimes overwhelmed by my own beauty, not physical beauty, but the beauty of simply being alive. In this state of Love, relating to people became effortless. Conversations flowed naturally. I could easily connect with strangers, make friends within minutes, and feel genuine compassion for everyone I met. It wasn't manipulation, charisma techniques, NLP, or social psychology. It came from sincere love and genuine care. I felt as though I could read people's emotions through an invisible current of life that connected all of us. Movement itself became a form of meditation. My body seemed guided by an intelligence far beyond conscious thought. Martial arts movements arose spontaneously, flowing directly from intuition rather than technique. They carried the elegance of nature itself. Sometimes I moved like flowing water, sometimes like the wind, and at other times like the animals so often depicted in ancient martial arts traditions: the serpent, the monkey, the tiger, the crane, dragon, and the leopard. Dance also became something entirely different. While dancing to the icaros during ceremonies, it felt as though my master plant dietas themselves were choreographing my movements. Every gesture emerged effortlessly, with a beauty and harmony unlike anything I had encountered before. The movements felt ancient, intelligent, and deeply alive. My awareness expanded in extraordinary ways. During one heroic magic mushroom journey at a music festival, I found myself moving effortlessly through a dense crowd of dancing people without bumping into anyone. It felt as though I intuitively knew where every person's body would move before they moved. Dancing with another person became less like leading or following and more like two streams of water naturally flowing together. There were moments that still remain difficult for me to explain. Once, outside a maloka during an Ayahuasca ceremony, a much larger man suddenly charged toward me because he believed I had been too loud during the ceremony. In that instant, everything slowed down. My body responded on its own. I moved with incredible speed and precision, and he stumbled backward several feet without either of us making meaningful physical contact. Even today, I struggle to fully understand what happened in that moment. During many ceremonies, I experienced an overwhelming sense that obstacles simply did not exist. I knew, with complete certainty, that anything could be overcome through Love. Nothing felt impossible. One night, in the darkness of a maloka, I received powerful visions during a master plant dieta. Before me appeared immense luminous symbols resembling a mysterious combination of nature, royalty, and playing cards. They shimmered with immense beauty and power. I felt their presence as protectors, teachers, and allies. Although I could feel their extraordinary wisdom, I also knew I was not yet ready to fully understand or embody what they were showing me. Music also changed completely. On several occasions, while deeply connected to the medicine, I began hearing songs of indescribable beauty. They resembled master plant icaros, yet seemed to come from somewhere beyond human creativity. It felt as though I wasn't composing them. I was simply listening. One of the most beautiful aspects of the Paradise of Love was the complete appreciation of the present moment. Every moment became infinitely precious. Every tree, every face, every conversation, every ray of sunlight seemed worthy of complete attention. At festivals, this sometimes became almost overwhelming because there was simply too much beauty to explore, too much creativity to experience, and too much life to fall in love with. During some ceremonies, I experienced something even more astonishing. I was shown that all of creation was the Kingdom of Love. In those moments, I experienced myself as the King of Love, the ruler of this infinite kingdom, not in the ordinary sense of power or authority, but as an expression of the Divine manifesting itself through human form. I saw my family and many other people as radiant beings beyond all suffering, shining with extraordinary beauty, freedom, and love. In several ceremonies, I also experienced what felt like healing energy flowing through my hands. At times, I felt as though I had become an embodiment of the Christ consciousness itself, a living expression of unconditional Love. After experiencing these glimpses of the Paradise of Love over many ceremonies, one question remained. How do I embody it? Deep within, I sensed that merely visiting Paradise would never be enough. If I truly wanted to embody it permanently, I would first have to walk through something unimaginably difficult. I had been shown Paradise. Now I would have to earn my way home.

I just read a super old note from 5 years ago. It was in a transformation mastery course from Julien Blanc. What a waste of money back in the day, but I was desperate to get out of my situation. What I can take away from it was how much more physical life was in school. An athletic classmate had automatically more statues and I looked up to them. And also trying to be nice and lovely seemed to be a survival strategy back in the day. Oh men oh men it hurts to read this.. No wonder I went to the gym though and my story is probably as un-unique as it gets.

The retro video game convention is done and It went well. despite me feeling super exhausted, mentally drained and anxious beforehand! Here’s all the details if you’re interested!: I got a quick glance at the AVGN and then left satisfied. Afterwards, I ate a $14 pizza that tasted like Complete Cardboard Bullshit, but I was so hungry and ate most of it anyway. The view outside where I was eating was *Muah*, so that saved the experience. Then, back inside, my childhood all-time favorite Pokémon WON the costume contest! She was AWW-mazing! Took a traditionally masculine mon and completely recontextualized it to be Super Fem and Beautiful! I loved the originality, attention to detail, and everything was hand designed from scratch. She even did a live evolution / transformation from Ivysaur to Venusaur live on stage. Can’t even put it into words. The audience went crazy for her to win, even before the judges announced her as the official winner. Finally at the end of the day, the voice actor of Super Mario and Luigi and a bunch of other characters did a Q&A panel. He’s in his 70s now and gave a lot of wise life purpose advice to the audience like a wise old sage. Mama-Mia!

Many men, even on this forum, STILL DO NOT INTERNALISE THE POWER OF THIER LANGUAGE & MINDSET Leo has, in other words and framing, gone over this with TENS of different videos, i have also discussed it at length But the theoretical part is only 1 half, you then have to EMBODY (work your ass off and apply it) IT FOR YEARS (Assuming u didn't have a rare perfect childhood, with an incredible father figure, environment ect.. and this is all done unconsciously) Positive thinking Visualization Self Talk Affirmations Goal Setting Mindset Beliefs, limiting beliefs, Not needing validation Being Uninhibited - low inhibition men, shameless, unapolagetic Not giving a fuck what people think Saying and doing what you want How u interpret reality Overthinking, OCD, anxiety within your body, lack of presence Authenticity, speaking with your chest, vocal tonality, eye contact All of these things can and should be msatered individually, and worked on for multiple years, EVERY SINGLE DAY BUT There is a core connector that needs to be unraveled That is that, many of these things are just extentions of a few core foundations The core foundation(S), once its truly mastered, everything else becomes a byproduct, or become smuch smoother to emoby and integrate And the core of it is subsconsious reprogarmming, core beliefs about yourself and your value Another foundation is the linguistic programming and brainwashing within your mind, which creates these core beliefs Another foundation is positive thinking - but much more specifically, is your mind, constantly, permanently, instantly, orientated towards solutions, success, the future (or enjoying the present), growth, transformation, dreaming, refining, improving, where you will be, how amazing your life will be ect.. and how deep and subconscious, instant and effortless this mechanism is And again the foundation to achieving this is affrimations, visualizations, self talk, but it sounds way easier than it is, easy in concept, not academic, but who actually drills it in, day and night, for years? who the fuck even does that Then, this becomes so deep and unconcious that when you talk, speak write on a forum, the actual emotionality of your language changes, i still see people on this forum casually mention how they're "absolutely terrifed of ... (insert mundane petty thing that really is just a linguistic reasoning shaped by the deep subconcious anxiety, insecurity, envy. desperation and inner inadequacy within the cells of there body, because they never truly repgrommaed themselves, they never went all the way, they just dabbled in self help as a fad, like everyone else, where is the god level of fearlessness, confidence, masculinity when a guy is fucking terrified of a basic ability of a 130 pound woman (an ability which, he could very simply learn thorugh work and struggle for a few months and benefit from inmediately for the remaining entirety of hisl life)? its pathetic, but if we're all honest, we are all pathetic and mediocre, and this post is how you rise above mediocrity, only when applied, daily, day and night, for years. This is just an honest reminder to myself I got some results but i still mostly dabbled with it all in practice I did not TRULY master it on a deep, subconcious level, to the level that lionel messi rapidly makes decisions, positions his body, knows where the next pass is, already knows the next 3 steps ahead of the defender, to the level of zidannes first touch, effortless, permanently ingrained, unstoppable, never bends or waivers, true mastery.

If there was a psychic person with real psychic abilities, they would be the most famous person alive. Why? Because they would be able to showcase their powers on YouTube and IG and everywhere online. We only need one person in order to prove pre-rational psychic abilities. But that one person doesn't exist. Spiritual awakening is a private inner experience/transformation. It's not a claim about external reality. It's a deep understanding of it.

For sure! Ego death is cool but scary. I recommend looking up grounding mechanisms before you go deeper into that path, they are ignored a bit here but important. Trans people are interesting, I had a trans girl I was working with almost a decade ago now but I didn't really have the balls(no pun intended) to go through with it at that time so we were just friends and sexted a bit but ended at that. It was interesting because at first she presented like a dude and had a guy name and then slowly transitionned and started taking hormones so I could see the transformation. It's cool I'm a big fan of boobs so the fact that one can take hormones and grow them clearly is a sign of great scientific culmination by the human race. Big w.

From the scraping, somebody should just generate an RSS feed file with the full posts embedded and with the OCR idea in a free static file hosting service like Cloud flare. So the user can just use his favorite RSS reader. There are probably some good ones that allows for full text search, if not that can be easily be done from the RSS feed file. This way we don't have to waste time maintaining more custom code than necessary, we won't be running multiple of those bots accessing and creating their own databases, and it will work in all platforms and provide the real-time update abstraction from RSS feed readers. If that's not enough, we can just write our own custom format if RSS happens to have some major limitation like maximum number of posts. Extracting the posts into their own respective HTML files cleaned and properly tagged for automation before doing any further format transformation should be the first step of this scraping pipeline, that will guarantee that it will preserve all the original features on the post, like the youtube embeds and whatever he might have included there. The major issue I believe would be the vimeo embeds, I believe leo configured them to not run outside of actualized.org. It has to be checked. What Claude Code gave there wouldn't handle if it's taking just the text of the posts and tossing away the original HTML. HTML already has a tag to add the text description of images that is used for accesability, that would be the correct way to extracting HTML and using OCR to embed back into the image the text, and then the later stages of the pipeline uses that. For searching quick right now just use on google: the tag "site:" followed by the address to search there. site:https://www.actualized.org/insights

Leo's most recent video about forgiveness has the core principles: 1. People who hurt you in the past did so because of ignorance. 2. They hurt you because they were trying to get love (from you or somebody else) but had limited, unhealthy ways to get it. 3. They hurt you because their level of consciousness was very low. 4. They hurt you because of their selfishness. 5. They hurt you for their survival agenda. That basically means people who hurt you in the past did so because of selfishness and ignorance. And this is true. If you don't see this, it means you have not done enough introspection and have not developed enough awareness of your past pain (and anger). He said being able to forgive is strength and not being able to is weakness. I think both are strength. His video is useful and effective to people who ordinarily got hurt or hurt as an adult. For example, the forum administrator banned you, another is, your boss unfairly fired you. But to that little 6-year-old japanese girl who was repeatedly dragged by his father by the neck from the entrance door to the bathroom and then brutally punched and kicked til blood comes out of her nose and mouth; to the child Teal Swan who was repeatedly sodomized or "analized" by an older family member, to the child me who was enormously mentally-emotionally wounded by his dumb father by being completely ignored and screamed at his entire childhood and teenage years, that forgiveness video is far from enough to heal the wounds, and even adds more harm. If you are in the "second category". You need a deeper perspective and understanding of your pain, anger, and forgiveness. 1. Forgiveness is the letting go of anger, that is, the letting go of the desire for revenge or justice. It is not when you say "I forgive you" to your business partner then suing him for screwing you. Forgiveness is when you say "I forgive you" to your business partner then say "And to prove that, I won't sue you or harm you in any way though you betrayed me.". It is not when you proclaim to everybody in the court "I am a true Christian, so I forgive this psychopath who murdered my daughter and your daughters." But then celebrate when the jury decides to give the death penalty to the serial killer. Those are just empty words, not forgiveness. 2. Complete forgiveness is reconciliation. It is the letting go of anger, that is, the letting go of the desire for revenge or justice, and starting a good relationship with your abuser again. So that means not only suing the business partner who screwed you, but to have another business deal with him again. That means to end the "no contact" situation you have with your NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) father or mother and start visiting or even living with them again. It is obvious this is dangerous. Complete forgiveness or reconciliation should only be given to people who love you though they might have hurt you a few times. It should never be given to people who have NPD or Stage Red or to people who hate you though they might have done a few good things to you. 3. Your anger is valid and must be honored. Don't demonize your anger. Don't believe them when they tell you you are a bad, evil person for holding anger. Anger is a valid response to harmful things done to you. It doesn't mean you should hold your anger until death. It simply means allow it to exist and understand it has an important function. And the paradox is, it is the acknowledgment and honoring of pain and anger which breaks the trans-generational wound transfer. I mean directing the anger at your parents or abusers then naturally letting it go, not forcefully. If you direct it at random innocent people because you lack awareness of it, you will transfer that pure shit to your children. 4. Forgiveness is a result of the healing of the mental-emotional wounds, not the other way around. You can't force forgiveness even if you want to. It will only lead to suppression. If you force yourself to forgive somebody who deeply broke your spirit, you might be able to do so for a few weeks. But the anger will still be deeply there. And it will be alive and kicking in your mind and body again in a few months if you become conscious of it. If not, it will run in the "background" of your mind and behavior. You will unconsciously hurt yourself and others. 5. Unconscious or disowned pain and anger manifests as physical and mental diseases. If that pain and anger is enormous but "unconscious", it manifests as mysterious bodily pains, cancer, anxiety, and depression. I have experienced this. My early adulthood anxiety and suicidal depression immediately disappeared after acknowledging my enormous pain and anger. Of course I did great inner work to accomplish it. It was completely difficult but it was worth it. 6. Learn the lesson of your pain and anger so you can then naturally and gradually release it. Beneath the pain and anger is deep wisdom. If you choose to welcome it and work on it, you will have a deep understanding of yourself and the humans who caused it. Through it, you will be a more self-loving person who sets boundaries. If you have been extremely and disgustingly abused by your parents during childhood, that means you are an adult person who has low self-love, low self-esteem, and a doormat. 7. The healing of your wounds is directly proportional to your capability to be at peace with your painful, imperfect past. This is where forgiveness can sprout from. You can implement the concepts above by doing the exercise Leo described in his video. But add this step. Write the details of what exactly happened, how you felt about it, and what you should have done and said during that time. Say that to yourself while writing or typing it on MS-Word or OneNote. And feel the deep pain and hatred engulfing your body. You need to be alone when doing this. The best thing is to do that for every painful or traumatic memory you have. But if it's impossible, just cover at least 70 percent of all your traumatic memories. Make sure to include your most traumatic memories. Be patient and persevere. You will feel very bad and angry in the first few weeks or months of doing this. But just continue. And observe your anxiety, depression or physical problems gradually disappear. That exercise is very powerful. If your anger stays alive for more than a year, that's ok. Consider the other possibilities. If you don't do the inner work, you will continue to suffer (anxiety, depression, physical problems, etc,) for 20,30 or 50 years until you die. Or you murder yourself now because you can't bear the suffering anymore. That was the inner work I did aside from developing self-love to accomplish great self-transformation. Before I was a young adult with very low self-esteem, low self-confidence, low self-love, much self-hate, had pure O, BDD, agoraphobia, and crippling depression. Now, I am the exact opposite. I am 10 years older but still a young adult and with strong, unshakable self-love, high self-confidence, and slight to no anxiety and depression. And I feel good about myself. I still have some anger but greatly reduced. How did I develop self-love? I might share it in the future. I am already too tired to make another long post. I don't know whether psychedelics helps in healing trauma and in forgiving your abusers. I have never tried any psychedelics. And I don't know whether the "existential" perspective of forgiveness is the ultimate solution. I can't see I am God imagining existence, I am infinite love, and I am all there is. That sounds just like an interesting, beautiful story to me.

This was an ICHING reading I got yesterday. Line 1. If the wanderer busies himself with trivial things, he draws down misfortune upon himself. This line can call attention to a fate a person has created by busying himself with concerns of the collective ego. Among such trivial concerns are judgments based on the human-centered view of the universe: about justice, crime, and the supposed guilt of others about supposed rights and privileges attributing catastrophes to weather, or Nature, when they have been the result of expectations projected onto Nature gossip and idle curiosity about others' relationships, including the intimate affairs of animals blaming one's fate on an outside cause, rather than seeing its cause in oneself watching whether others are conforming properly to the moral and behavioral standards (the oughts and musts) of the collective ego preoccupying oneself with things afar rather than with what lies directly in front of one 56. The Wanderer • dismissing things of real significance (such as money) as mun-dane, in favor of working on a spiritual self-image. When a person does not understand the Cosmic Way and has created a fate due to his incorrect views, the ego in him will seek to put the blame on something or someone else, the Cosmos, life, Nature, or even his true self, rather than having the ego itself recognized as the cause; in addition, it may put a heavy burden of guilt upon the person. He needs to catch onto this tactic of the ego before it plunges him into yet another fate. (See p. 539, Freeing Yourself from Mistaken Ideas and Beliefs, p. 542, Freeing Yourself from a fate, and p. 551, Deprogramming Guilt.) The line can also refer to a person who feels guilty for possessing something while others have nothing. Possibly he has been taught as a child to take on guilt for the starving children in the world, human maltreatment of animals, trees, the earth, etc. It is one thing to care about all these things, and act responsibly in regard to them, but it is another to allow guilt to drive one to fulfill the image of the "compassionate person." Striving to fulfil this self-image keeps the person from saying the inner No to wrong conditions and their causes, and from asking for help from the Helpers, which are truly able to correct these conditions through transformation.

Look, everyone wondering why Leo refuses to admit his alien transformation error, it's very simple. Most people can say "I was in a state of grandiose delusion". But Leo cannot admit this to himself, therefore he cannot admit it to you. And he never will. You will never get an admission because: "'Grandiose delusion' is the two words that, said sincerely, collapse the idealized self into the despised self in one move — and the entire architecture exists to make those two words unsayable. So he says everything around them, forever, because the one thing the expansive solution cannot do is name itself." Underneath the grandiosity is precisely the terror of being ordinary, small, self-deceived — the average human who fools himself and can't tell. "I was in grandiose delusion" doesn't just lower him to average. It drops him straight into the despised self the entire construction exists to escape. It's not a step down; it's a fall through the trapdoor the whole edifice was built to cover." - Karen Horney, The Expansive solution (Neurosis and Human Growth: The Struggle Toward Self-Realization)

That's different from recording alien transformation. Sign me up! I'm all ears.

Ok it seems you can inject it. Chatgpt: Yes. In India, there was a historical connection between spirituality, alchemy, and preparations containing metals. The traditions most relevant here are Rasaśāstra and Rasāyana. Gold and other metals were repeatedly “purified,” ground, and heated through complex procedures. The resulting gold preparation is called Swarna or Suvarna Bhasma. It was taken orally in very small quantities, often with honey or ghee—not injected. One related practice is Swarna Prashana, which was traditionally associated with improved memory, intelligence, vitality, immunity, and longevity. The spiritual background sometimes went far beyond ordinary medicine. Certain Indian alchemical schools aimed to perfect or rejuvenate the body, or even create an enduring “divine body” that could support meditation, extraordinary abilities, and ultimately liberation. However, the most important alchemical substance in many of these traditions was usually mercury, not gold alone. The key distinction is: The goal was usually gradual physical and spiritual transformation, longevity, and mental clarity—not an immediate psychedelic or mystical “gold trip.” Modern studies have confirmed that some Swarna Bhasma preparations contain very small or nanostructured gold particles, and that gold can sometimes be detected in the body after oral use. However, this does not prove that it improves the nervous system, intelligence, cognition, or spiritual awareness. Current clinical evidence is insufficient to establish such effects reliably. “Traditionally prepared” also does not automatically mean safe. The composition and quality of these products can vary significantly, and some Ayurvedic products have contained harmful amounts of lead, mercury, or arsenic. There is no well-documented Indian spiritual tradition of injecting gold.

@Olaf Good self observations you made! You noticed the dividend it payed back in terms of energy. More conscious awareness,,, Higher degree of being,,, Understanding human behavior better @UpperMaster Excellent commentary and to the point. A trap many people fall into, not to mention actualizers of denying their own negative feelings. Repression grows the shadow. In the fourth way work this is called the second conscious shock. Turning a negative experience into a positive one. Usually accomplished in part by "holding one's tongue", as the saying goes. I'll give an example that happened in my past. I was trading into a new Subaru. When the salesman told me the offer on my old Hyundai. The adrenaline hit. I was angry and he could see it. I hadn't said anything yet and was stewing,,,, As is said in the Work, It was hot in the kitchen! After several seconds had passed. He said, "Please, we shouldn't have to become antagonistic in what we're trying to accomplish". With what he said. It made me see myself and the ridiculous way that I could have spoken something in anger that would have knocked a lot of energy out of me. If you can kind of read into that situation,,, I actually smiled and later on, complemented him for how he handled my potential anger on hearing their offer for my trade in. Speaking in anger is so easy to do and so difficult to not do. To not deny one's feelings but to not let the passion of anger turn one into an "unguided projectile" or an "unguided Golum" as one of my favorite Fourth Way teachers says. some notes- Like Dislike Understanding the Second Conscious Shock in the Fourth Way In the Fourth Way teachings of P.D. Ouspensky, the first and second conscious shocks are key moments in the process of self-remembering and transformation. They are not random events but intentional, often difficult experiences designed to break habitual patterns and force awareness. What the Second Conscious Shock Is The second conscious shock typically follows the first conscious shock, which is the moment of sudden realization that you are acting mechanically or out of habit. The second shock is the experience of defeat or the tension between desire and inevitability — the moment when you confront the reality of your own mechanicalness and the lack of proper energy fourthwaytoday.org. It is often described as: A tension between the fire of your desire to remain present and the chill of the inevitable fall into old patterns fourthwaytoday.org. A sacred direction in the octave of development, where the process of defeat becomes a catalyst for transformation fourthwaytoday.org. A psychic death experience — the “life” of your habitual self is temporarily extinguished, creating a flatness or stillness that is not dullness, but a deep sense of peace and “all-rightness” gurdjiefflegacy.org. How It Works with the First Shock Ouspensky explains that the first shock is the recognition of mechanicalness; the second shock is the confrontation with the consequences of that mechanicalness. Together, they form a synergy — the first shock creates the awareness, the second shock deepens the transformation YouTube. The second shock is not just about discomfort; it is about sacred direction — a moment when the process of defeat aligns with a higher purpose, leading to a shift in energy and awareness fourthwaytoday.org. Purpose and Outcome The second conscious shock: Breaks habitual patterns by forcing a confrontation with the self. Evokes transformation rather than just resistance. Aligns the self with higher functions by moving beyond mechanical reaction into conscious, intentional action. Can lead to a stable, inner peace and a deeper understanding of the temporal and eternal aspects of life gurdjiefflegacy.org. Practical Context In Gurdjieff’s groups, such shocks might be triggered by: Sudden commands (“Stop!”) that interrupt habitual movement to-be-able.blogspot.com. Intentional labor or discomfort that forces presence to-be-able.blogspot.com. Moments of self-observation where you realize you are acting without awareness gurdjiefflegacy.org. The goal is to stop the expression of negative emotions and to change attitudes so that the shock becomes a stepping stone toward higher consciousness SelfDefinition.Org. In short: The second conscious shock is the moment when the realization of mechanicalness meets the reality of its consequences, creating a transformative “defeat” that, when integrated, moves you toward higher states of being in the Fourth Way.