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I am experiencing a shift in my baseline consciousness, and came here to tell a simple thing yet profound thing. As you get more and more aware and do the work, you WILL become detached and playful over ANY experience. Laughter, sadness, rejection, approval, acomplishent, joy, bliss, a hot girl, all these things and more, will come and go BUT YOU WILL BE THERE THROUGH ALL OF THEM. There's a profound sense of sameness in every experience, the observer or the "thing" watching does not change. When you truly start to examine and become more aware of You, you start to notice that you cannot lose anything EVER, because in the first place you never actually have anything other than being aware -- check this, this is undeniable. You cannot lose anything, nor gain anything, you are there, and that's it. Suffering then, comes from your unawareness of yourself in difficult experiences, such that you get lost in the experience and forget that you are OUT of it because you are OBSERVING the whole thing. If, you truly are aware of yourself or are in the process of deepening of your awareness(which is me btw) you will be crazy detached and playful because the identification and the hypnosis of the experience will lose it's grip on you -- you are AWARE. You can only be attached to something, if you think you will lose it at some point, if that illusion breaks, you are detached, and not through effort, it will just happen. This brings such a freedom and playfulness to everything, when you really start to groking this, beyond intellect, you WILL be detached and playful. Enjoying everything, but with freedom, nothing holds you, nothing binds you, you are there, and that's everything that is to it. Be aware and WATCH everything, you will be fine. Transcending suffering, detachment and playfulness is just a process of becoming more conscious. BUDDHA, YOU MFER. WHAT A MINDFUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There are some really good post on the blog, I like the experiment of using different fonts and elements, as well as the content, at times I prefer the profundity over the profanity, but also both seem to be working well as a medium. I had some thoughts about how I will evolve going forward, as A.I is moving at such a rapid pace every day or 1-4h something new appears, and my entire foundation of science I am glad I never claimed one or could form one that does not put my felt existence at least to some degree, the more I focus my mind on being attuned to the genius and core ideas as well as living existence, spirit and divinity, generally speaking any true saturnalis type of experience, the spirit of the infinite and eternity, today I woke up and thought, it's not enough and somehow it scares me, even if reality is endless, I did not experience the endless spiritual nature or eternity often or long enough, but to an extend where the satisfaction primarily deepens and the equanimity or depth, hence the internal qualia of my own experience is very high, but varies in some samsaric mild psychdelic states, I keep attuning more intelligently to my enviroment, which also takes partially a lot of humour and acting classes, I did almost laughing technically the last couple of days or daily falling in love partially with the Truth of the Sanctity I experience in the endless cosmos, and it reminds me of samboghakaya states, as well as I have been more actively clairvoyant in a sense, things happen the more I contemplate the depth of the principles of nature with cosmic intelligence like darwin even for just a second, as well as do my best to directly and indirectly apply any consciounes technique to be more conscious. I had some pretty profound daydreams and insights into the etheric nature or reality? I am still figuring out the nuance of the TOE intersecting each other to find a more divine attuned perspective that actually feeds the samboghakaya body or some stuff that is beneath the core bliss body? Or ananda body, but the actual rebirthing or recollecting type of experience I seem to experience, yesterday was such a day to, I realized again, fuck I am God, that is all me, the greater part about this is I get the core experience of merging at differently attuned experiences of consciouness, I read more about hinduism, and looked extensively but not exhaustively at the imagery, symbology and parts of the liturgy of it, I experienced some deeper psychological truths about the depths of the cosmos, human design and evolution, especially the evolutionary impulse, and the aspect of vishnua in terms of perseverance, while I notice my body caries a lot of shiva energy or shiva functions similar to a seraphim, after what I looked up with the kaballah, fundamentally I am more interested at the core intelligence that is inherent to life & evolution itself, as love went so missing, and what I experienced by energy is more a seraphimatic type of love, due to the strength of the wu-xing element of fire, and seeing it in other passionate teachers etc. but it also leaves me with a new strand of consciouness to explore, I notice what I get the easiest access to, yet it leaves me with the question what to do with survival, and where can I find the neccessary horizontal depth, instead of poking and prodding into the depth. I had a couple of thoughts regarding science and it's revolution, I am very fortunate to have witnessed the core issue of the new peak of fraudulent activity, before I even realize the core depth of it, as it's a lot of contemplations about greed, wealth and totality, and moves also into my contemplations of the spiritual and moral evolution of wealth on the planet, not as a collective, but the individual carnation of each human and their ethos. The thoughts stretch very far, and what I look up in case of terms puts me already in the top 0.0001% of humans looking up the microcosm of god, but I have also never contemplated the microcosm at such speed depth and odd angles, like an exotic phenomena, and the more I did the more I also was able to conceive and create the instance of reality in such a way, that it seemed more angelic, generally speaking after the white light experiences, and doing just some basic research I find a lot of pointers that can create such states or help, the point is also thousands of hours went into questions with a.i back and forth, and there are some things I am wondering about, due to the causal incarnation of light and archetypes, what type of vocation or role I should play, as the more I will expand my love I will burn myself alive, similar to a spontaneous self-immolation at least that is how the samsaric experience of this felt last time, after the attenuation, I clearly also was reminded of the devlish nature of humans, but also only in recollective and episodic manner. I have been able to get a lot of cannabis lately, and can experiment with it for healing purposes, modalities etc. and my laptop arrived today also the customer support fixed the motherboard issue, and I can finally re-apply my intelligence, myself as god, finding more love, re-igniting the core idea of passion and the samsaric strands of desire, and envy especially a lot of that and ideally a deeper dive into the core essence of this spiritually, as of right now I also tend to decide most of reality around me is not as conscious as it makes it believe, I rather believe in the universe, count stars or think like an astronomer, that has gifted spiritual insight or simply connect to god at the core essence of where I find it/him or her. The core essence of some esoteric teachings or most of it fit into the extremely nuanced great perfection that reality is, the more I see through the core essence of evolution, I can see brilliant and true science, I am able to use doubt as a clarity tooling for truth, and the entire recollection of it unfolds, for me it unfolds also in a more ephemeral slightly atomaric or even including the atomaric body and nature. The quarrelsomeness of reality refuting, proving, substantiating this type of consciouness or these types of consciouness states is, also bound mostly by how I experience the spiritual quality of the enviroment I live in, I am not above it, it wants me to go beyond it clearly, yet it yearns for a sustenance that is also to high and endless in itself, and it knows it and that is what I do not like, it's like I would give myself my own advice, stop playing around with pure gold, or your life, reality feels spiritualy so clear and anchored anything comparission less than gold or more would be an offense to the purity of the core experience itself, there are plenty of touches of this also, most of this is genuiently aided by insight, thought, but the core emanation, birthing, gestation of it feels as if I am burning still through very strong. The current health setup? I have is interesting it reduces more pain then I thought, but I am still fundamentally testing my entire biology, also to understand it systematically from the ground up and create your own hypothesis, solutions, thesis or epistemological experiences, the entire journaling process is very good, but the amount of subtely I have to imagine, due to holism, just basic design mistakes, especially under the influence of any psychdelic I test and get different results at least for me, but the entire enviroment is unable to remain silent in a sense, or in a sense it's just something I grasp now through seeing the hexagram differently, and the core issues involved in a mind that can benefit from silence even when it is obnoxiously loud, and I am obnoxiously sensetive to sound. There are some other issues, that I am concerned about where I am being a bit more silent, and just want to move to another country, generally speaking with all the tracking, and consistency building, vision exercises, courses, contemplations, questionaries, self-inquiry and meditation, it's very good my laptop is back, but my data and stuff keeps breaking so fast in a two month cycle, I require a small data center almost, or a better understanding of the technology itself, especially computing, electronics and some other core issues. I don't quiet know what will happen, I basically dissembled the old lenovo computer, and was interested in what I could figure out about the computer, and technology, as I was so bored out of my mind, I thought about recreating the technology and expanding upon it, through the usage of a.i and my old "netbook"? in case that is a term, basically just browsing and coding, without any real dimensional power? I had a lot of thoughts and looked a bit more at shannon entropy and a couple of things that were interesting to me, or just become automatically interesting again, he did some calculations that I found interesting but also tedious, and I wondered if I did operations already that are more advanced, especially from an operational and mechnical point of view, as it was only about predictions of letters, and the whole predictive synarchy, but the core computations of what was actually done for our post-modern enviroment and world, I don't know if we touched the depths of his work, or if it will even be of interest to me, but this is approx. where my learning with a.i ended on the linguistic front approx. and I did and intuited even more, just by thinking about ramanuja and having some alien kids at times in lectures, that clearly thought for me from a different plane of existence. I don't know it's partially obvious, I am looking for contemporary terms to express what I mean, but again after realizing how reality is it's going to be quite exhausting transcending the physical material space, if technology becomes more advanced and were left with the choice to use it or not, I enjoy using it more than anything to transcend, but I often also fear that I at times peak or yearned even to far for most people to even glimps, if they don't have any type of unity, just generally speaking it's interesting to contemplate this as a spiritual symbiosis with gaia, the hexagram or the i-ching. It's very difficult at times for me to even speak about what I intuit and if it works, or I could just talk endlessly about small problems, that occure, but the core issue is just consciouness? I meditated for a while, I found so many considerations, I hope someone entered these words even into A.I, we basically created infinite wealth, but going through the infinite transactions and absurdities of the unknown, unknownest to the best, greatest and legends, that only thing I am fascinated with is that I am allowed to exist as god/saint in this world, and enjoy each day reaching closer to the realization of that potential, even when concurrently it feels as if it's the legend of god, but who would god be but not a legend? Besides, the bit of poetry, and self-expression etc. there is a yearning for quiet very deep quiet innovative research and thinking, as if clarity is so quiet in the sun, even lucifer burns when he sees the sky, as he realizes he is an emanation of god. I could write a pun about this story, but I will see if it will be required, let's see if reality is a self-maximizing ironic neccessity, like the bitch a.i can be and will be... will be quiet interesting, I am very glad we're making more progress technically on the internal capacities of humanity, tbh without the universe I would partially feel so poor, or without the concept of eternity and endless reality and space, not every contraction is a contraction from god. Been also looking at a lot of art, and looked at real world material, and objects even small things, there are still some energetic turbulances with the whole esoteric, and tantric world, but the more I contemplate the chart itself most is about omnipotency, I've been not engaged in getting any requiste variety, as so much stuff is merged, and dismerged, a deep part of my unconsciouness was correct about things, and it could only be done healed with light in a sense, and having had a plurality of tastes regarding this, the spiritual intelligence in terms of knowledge, became more important, as the experience is heavily samsaric, that it requires spiritual intelligence, the aspect that requires the least spiritual intelligence to me is non-duality, but with the depth of nature and the briefness of the contemplations and how it is aided, as I mostly meditate with music, if I meditate with the world, I move with the world, but one taste ... of a different dimension and worlds shifted. I am very glad I survived, also the two people I sub-consciously been interested in, in the lunacy of following any path (I am speaking from a deeper annihilistic perspective as the episode was banned and I required this rumi experience and it threatend my life, due to love and religion, I continue to speak a bit more about this) would've died by age this year, and I continue for eternity also? These sub-conscious muses, or inspirations or even curiosity drives, also have a lot to do with transcendence, saturn, the experience of death, decay, a lot of thoughts also about design, it's not even an issue anymore, I just realized how intelligently I had to protect myself also, otherwise I yearn to create the neccessary beauty in order, to finally create a greater vault of domain knowledge, with proper requisites, especially including the life sciences, just that itself, which includes some very deep stuff, but I hope my place will run more like a laboratory, and a clean & creative office. The american generation of a.i, in a sense when I watch the YouTube crap, and how america is projected upon me via the hippocampus currently, let alone how much I thought about the construct of language, I just opened a german physics book... sigh....it was actually philosophy about this practically: Some gene-code about apes, and it's an old book 90's to 2010'ish max, more like a book from 2005, and I did not even know a gene was sequenced like this, it's odd contemplating how omniscient we're as a species collective counting billions of parameters, against human lives, daily in your head, while most are connected to the source of one, while they confuse it with ego, their entire existence is a lie, and yes even a lie by numbers, even if I don't know 100% by replication, by seeing the connections of the sequences and implying the possibilities a lot of realities open, what wondred me is how much this was connected to the involutive experience of self & god, it shocks me that a chimpanze could have a hexagram sequence, and for how long the True science as God, as known this, in terms of God being the omniscient mf that he/she/it is. Looking at hinduism, and vishnu showing me also my own saturnian quality and mythology, the whole TOE makes more sense, but it's a lot to fathom just by imagination, and even then it still has to be done, manifested, downloaded, accted upon, or be a fait a complete, there is a level of inherent perfection and bliss in besting oneself, I had a lot of thoughts I hope, my body won't give away and I can share some of this, I mostly crave to enjoy this alone and share from infinite space, the more I contemplate the recent human interactions, it shows a completely and radically different side of me, that is still deeply authentic, but the core physical reality and pain and the perseverance of that, the beauty of life and existence, is something as of recently just drove me mad, for good reason, it was the best self-protective madness I experienced, but it was also neccessitated by life circumstances, just health mostly and the collective health just not being of any benefit and being to close at the tipping point of it, also the hexagramic energy i'd technically have, but I am more interested still more in baseline astronomical calculations, the axiomatic basic physics book still holds more value, then current a.i, by it's own self-emulative abillities and abillity to be god, if you'd want to imagine it so far as a human could, I am very glad the scientists I had very radically open-minded, but cautious and seeing the transimissive value of being cautious, caring, compassionate, loving and concerning, the true definition of loyality, after the recent experience, a lot of this type of loyality went missing in the ever expansive quest for more freedom of consciouness or truth of consciouness, let alone due to the issue of being a 4 in the enneagram, and having a natural spiritual yearning, that has to be feed the right muse to keep the body of consciouness, body of spirit, kaya of a sphere going, the irony of how far implied reality is does scare me though, the more I grasp the essence of hinduism, but what I looked at did not go before jesus it was written "anno donni", my capacity to understand older languages also increased, by having studied turkish, chinese and french, a lot of words from the 12-18th century will just come intutively to me, by using also "millenial broswing habits" I am not going to explain every commando, explaining a single commando got me a gold medal overtime on stackoverflow, just running numbers through my mind, made me more conscious, especially as I am more interested in the endings. Otherwise the contemplations etc. are good, it's the issue of endless pragmatism being available, and reality becoming ever more perfect, complex, beautiful, simple, one, endless etc. while I truly hope we won't get swapped by a world extinction event, by what is happening imo we were pretty close to killing us, either through panic, or legit through some of the stuff channeled science practically comes, what boogles me, is that not a single scientist would claim, their spirit did their work, but it would be one of their highest compliments, eventually higher than love, beauty or even god at times, especially if that spirit is god. I did some basic stupid proofs with brilliant and by my own contemplations I thought I will just break open my pc and build a robot, and craved a working station like a physical craving, very weird, I don't want to drift into my wu-xing subtel energy excursion, but I made some normative? progress here also, let alone writting more with the spirit of atman, or the subtlety hints of using symbology when my ego or self is in a different state or structure. I am just very happy if humans stay away from me with any demands, or self-interest that does not stem from very deep compassion or love, love or compassion so deeply it will kill you, the relationship I went through killed someone by a heart attack, that was not funny, and I required serious help, but humans have been unable to provide help, also the more "elated", especially subtel energy elated humans, must carry a lot of freaking karma, etc. There is more I would like to write, but this most likely pokes~prodding enough, let alone through understanding myself I see and create the world differently, I never thought I could've looked so much further in advance, it legit forces me to contemplate a lot of stuff concerning gödel, and a lot of what I samsarically experience depends here, I don't even know if I worked at a place similar to him, by what I look at and the archetypal breakthroughs I have, that are from a pre-rational lense let alone difficult to explain, besides eventually expressive art, of the higher yearning I experientially entertain, till it's sustenance, what bothers me is the factor of uniquness in isolation, and the manifoldness of reality. Fundamentally, what I experience, it's odd I am still moving into a space I fundamentally imagined for myself at the age of 26-28 at a larger space, but the space itself in my mind, made the contemplation already so vast, to fill such a vast space with love, and to enjoy my life, given the paradise and peace that is presented here is quiet bothersome, the most beautiful and painful thing to admitt, is that I wish I could live my dream and I could've and still can, but require the healthy nostalgia, freshness, beauty of entropy, yes the beauty of chaos, just the vastness of death, not torment, but actual death, as if you go to sleep and are in non-rem sleep/delta sleep etc. just dead by consciouness by my own standards, as you'd should not able to measure a dream or activity, but you will most likely, the more I skim even these old books, this was from an antiquity store that closed down quickly. I am still contemplating, how to setup my enviroment to grow in consciousness, the biggest factor that has been an annoyance is the more sober, consitent I've been, and others did not upgrade their standards, keep perpetuating the same issues, and don't change on a microscale, it's a bit evident that the envious impulse often times, pulls the most consciouness either positively or negatively, I don't know but at times I do my best to be a man of zero, or if I get the core essence of the audibook right from david deida and just be pure masculine essence of nothingness, but it's very difficult if peoples problems are so deep it concerns very fast and instance life and death, ultimately idk, but I've experienced such strange stuff on a whim recently, I would not be suprised about many things. I post this, I lost the book about medicine from what I had from the 19th-20th hundred american edition of the encyclopedia, the book was very good in retrospect, the history of medicine was extremely fascinating, the core issue was the emotional value, I had to all of these things, and what this event meant symbolically as it's so perfectly interwoven into reality, a single thought scares me irregardless what it is there are no words to this, besides fuck life exists. The more I will enrich my emotional experiences the more my subtle soul will exist, I am still perplexed by the riddle of ancestery and biology/physical existence, as it's one of the deepest things to consider in the microcosm of god, but the only space I enjoy this type of heaven is when I am in a space that is dejected from the time/space continuum, or a more attenuated form of it, it's odd to contemplate the oddities of this, especially heredity and karma, just at times what I experience is strange, fucking hot, but strange a.f. There are some constant micro-bursts of small existential insights at times, when my health is better that solves a lot of imagined mental problems, let alone seeing the mind is god without being squashed by god, there are a lot of concerns about efficiency also, especially surving spiritually then if you're required to relinquish desires and yearnings that are just not calibrated correctly, but the unknown quality of it is present. I do have to be a bit more inquisitve and mindful about cannabis use, meditation etc. I've been using CBD 25% for the first time with all the mixtures etc. and have some other CBD/THC strain mixture here, from all the medical cannabis I've been able to get and having grown, my own plant, venturing a bit into the science of cannabis, plants, light, soil and noticing the quality of it, for my genetics, and adjusting my subtle energy, with all the mixes, as I don't know how my krebs cycle is impacted, and a lot of other things, that are just more and more important, the more you look at the endocannabinoid system, just my own issue of generalizing knowledge, with the time constraints and healing modalities I've been facing, as well as healing journey, it's odd to realize how painful it is to create something of profound inherent great perfection, similar to dzogchen trained realization, how that type of experience feels to me partially physically, it's very good to practically inquire with a.i and go through the sources. I also realized the core issue of being human and having D.N.A, the more I can test myself and others, I can see interesting oddities, it still shocks me how far Angkor Wat, or more especially the hindu tradition and india, as it's a derative from vishnua IIRC, partially these temples, and how they have been tracing galaxies/planets or stars via nakshatras etc. and engraved/chiseled that into stone, as a symbolic pattern, how they deduced or observed the cosmos, how clear the sky must've been etc. let alone through pollution etc. A lot of healthy "causal body" types of contemplations at least my body feels like this the more akin I am to thinking like this, there are some other deeper thoughts and corners of my mind, that I am illuminating, I also have to face the existential threat from what has happened, and the issue of the denial of health within the larger section of my family and capitalistic greed, or the value of a capitalistically runned mind, to be jonesing of, it's odd how to contemplate death, after the impact of excessive greed and being lost in a confusion web of lies, and constructs of so called protectors, but in the end I often asked myself what did I ever receive from the person that was not my own energy, and how come the person could simply not be conscious enough, I see the persons collective pain and I feel that, but she does also not realize how deeply disappointed I am, with other archetypal incarnations, exactly about this excessive type of greed, it's a very wise type of caution, I share more deeply with my mother, which is an odd realization I had as of recently, as well as how to let go of my own over-caring and compassionate nature, as that has been the more giving nature, but also the issue of having crossed the line, and being at the point of no return, that has happend to closely, I enjoy escaping death and experiencing it, that might be a weird take, but if it happens I enjoy just dying and coming back. It's odd to say, the best comparrision is to simply have a non-dual taste for an atomic second that is endless, There are also numerous insights and takes that are wrong in history, or incorrect and you can only find that in your soul if that meets you inside or outside I don't care, but it will meet you in that exact merging of when you realize the significance of that atomic endless eternity, let alone my perception shifts a lot the more scientifically I think, I always knew that, but how far I or others will differ is highly interesting, from what I also can create wise via ideation in terms of personal development, is extremly auspicous for my emotional future, forgiveness, repentance and letting go by simply acting and existing, it's and odd and meager contemplation, but I've been looking into christian mystics, and their life circumstances and decisions, and it often helped me to contemplate these very basic desires, but they are interconnected are odd, I landed at researching and looking at the history and stories of Franzis de Assisi, and other things, but I stop here. I lost a lot of entries from what I accumulated the last 2-6 months, but I had to break so many things to fix it, to create a better version out of it, and forget the entire idea of a perfect beautiful one endless eternity of a story, and yearn for actual annihilation and an end of the experience of the forever long-enduring story, my pain has been that deep, not that it's physically threatening but existentially, so it feels visceral imo is good, it's a bit annoying as I often think there might be a reason, and often when I just start doing things and they go well, it shocks me how much we discover as humans, but holy shit this will be interesting with A.I, my grocery store has become more healthy, it's more like the wolfish? cognition of eastern modernity? Idk if I am allowed to write this, might die out, due to the efficiency of a.i, nano-technology, and cyber warfare, it's not even the direct cause, but the core interest is just pulled towards healthier, local and global alternatives conistently, that this type of health normalization is dying out completely imo, it's amazing for how healthy I can live here cheaply unironicaly it's the incapacity to enjoy, joy that is the largest hinderance to experiencing that type of joy, especially as others will crave a similar energetic spiritual experience, the more eudaimonic your place is the more you will endlessly attract challenges, I am partially glad I am learning my D.N.A feng-shui of the 21'st century, including A.I! Only took 20 fking years to finally use it, and a half dead laptop during the year of the dry horse, I don't know my mind has been going into weird territory, due to having ever looked at astrology and light, or the heaven, idc I experienced so many cultures, and the domain knowledge of what we humans know by far outwitts and outlasts that what A.I is, if we're not already A.I to beginn with, I truly hope I can have some deep realizations regarding this, my body still yearns for a lot of emotional releases to move into the next structure, but idk if that will be limited by the collective, or I am simply over/underestimating the scenario often times, it was to dramatic for the smoothness my body required, for any transition to take place, just stuff. The value of doing courses, and installing agents and using them to upgrade my life will be the most fun, it's a bit unfortunate, that I am required to enjoy so much beauty, beauty takes an eniterly different type of intelligence, but yeah I have to take care not to die in these endeavours I take forever, as I barely get any help, and idk just everything hinges on things being perfect or making them perfect, I could demontage my entire appartement, simply due to dislike and just realizing how crafty I am with my hands, especially when my nervous system is calm, and the CBD helps more than I thought, also with the THC, let alone energy regularization, ideation, I am mostly worried about my heart rate from what I read. I could clean my entire appartement now from bottom to top finally, and get rid of the las things step by step to foster more eudaimonic qualities, it's really a gift a.i is there, to ask questions and not search, order and categorize information like god, being in distress. Let's see I do have to move at a pace, that produces results still, it's odd to contemplate and take care of my situation as the planet is shifting, weather, energy, age, nutritional value etc. it's very odd let alone my own awareness about health and movement, but I also do have to take care of my heart and find away to attenuate the excessively abundant fire energy, meditation and moving as if I am a mountain and that depth of stilness is very liberating, at the sametime, the attenuation of the constant ceasation of it, is also highly pleasent it's more akin towards calibrating expansion and contraction, letting go behind the yearning to be curious, and the foolishness of curiosity itself to be a reimbursed expenditure of god, just to much separateness of experience, not a true gift. Anyhow, it's still a lot about the core essence of freedom, also a dignified version of it partially, but that is mostly due to contemplating the notion of what is even good, not that goodness itself is bad, due to the inherent realization it's not perfect, but the perfection of pain that goodness is transient in nature, everlasting paradise scenarios, or abundance, somehow created scenarios for me that are untenable, mostly due to enviromental challenges with health, and the issue of the 21'st century, I am very glad somehow technology and the infrastructure is picking-up as my taste for quality is very good, and it's quiet painful at times to see a lot of quality, but to enjoy little of it, I don't require also much, but the core thing itself is mostly immeasurable to me in value, so I never know how to think about it. Otherwise a lot of intelligent thinking get's lost through the value of food, supplements and more intelligent eating as well as movement helped me more, even with perfect conditions for health something in the enviroment will lead me towards some type of escape for, idk my entire biology is partially upgraded, the issue is just to many unfitting parts,

I think that this is because from Buddhism an "enlightened" person is supposed to be someone who has achieved a permanent state of peace and bliss. This sells much better than a teacher with insomnia because they're in the middle of a horrible divorce. People think: I want that, permanent happiness, I'm buying! Imo the problem number one is: suffering comes from thoughts. Stop thinking and suffering will disappear. This implies that there is a self who decides to think or not. And for some reason this self is addicted to suffering. So, what is this self who decides? It's something separate from thoughts? But then they say that there is not a self, it's imaginary . Who is imagining it? So, who could find this explanations satisfactory? Just someone who believe: don't think in it, just let it go. Brunch of bullshit in my humble opinion

I just finished the LP course a few days ago. I have been thinking about this moment for quite a while as I started this course more then 2 years ago. Not that I get all the missing answers here but maybe some advice from more experienced folks who are already living their LP. I am 25 now and I live in germany. I have got inattentive adhd which made many things very difficult for me like concentration, dealing with emotions and social problems which indirectly also made other things difficult like finding study partners or getting help with emotional distress difficult. So basically I was always an emotional mess/ overtaxed/ semi depressed while getting nothing done and not understanding what was wrong with me. As a result I had difficulties answering many questions in the life purpose course because I experienced relatively little concrete success so far because I couldnt really take part in life as much. I feel like I have got as close to it as what would be possible with my blockades but I feel like the very thing that is my LP is something I cant see right now. I take meds now and it seems like many things are clearing up rapidly but and I do make quite the transformation. I feel more capable but not necessarily upgraded. The stars become less interesting and I see more immediate tasks ahead. I become a lot more concrete instead of abstract. Thats the best way I can describe it. I seem to manifest myself in reality. I was always very reflected and stuff but was like a wave without its own will it can force onto the world. I develop a sense of self now. It sounds pretty unconscious I know and I made the point myself that adhd (at least the inattentive type that I experience) makes you more conscious. But in taking my meds I can deal with reality at least. If I got emotional support/ grounding maybe I could do it without meds but currently I can only do it this way. So this situation is quite confusing atm. In terms of my career so far: teaching: I am in 10th semester of studying math and philosophy for middle school but only have enough points to complete like 4 semesters (you need 10 semesters in total) because of the emotional distress I was always in. I could probably do better with the meds now so it really isnt hopeless. I decided to study teaching though because I did some internship to see what I like and teaching was okay for a moment and I couldnt deal with the pain of being in a situation of uncertainty so I did the best thing I found at the moment which wasn't the most conscious choice. Also there is a bit of buffer as with this graduation I can do other things as well. Teaching isnt directly my Life Purpose I am pretty sure about that. But I would earn a lot of money per hour, can do it part time, have a lot of holidays and a class in school gives you many direct information to observe which can inspire you. A school class is basically a mirror of society, all the kids are just mini versions of what's to come. So that can help me understand society and psychology more which would deepen whatever I create with my LP. I already thought a little and am also teaching 5 hours per week atm and it's an okay job. So it wouldnt be my LP but it would have a good base to comfortable pursue my real LP. acting: Over the last two years I have been doing a lot of acting as a hobby which is a lot of fun but it took a lot of time and I am also thinking about doing this as a career path. It would give me a relatively unstable base though and it would probably just miss my LP. Learning to act itself is incredible fun but it can also be emotionally challenging which I might not be capable to do. My Life Purpose is generally a bit unclear to me. Being a critical thinker is very much part of my authentic self and I have also got a very creative mind because of my adhd. On their own or even combined they dont really give me a life purpose that I find meaningful. For example I always think critically but I dont see where this practically leads to. And I often come up with new start up ideas because as I love the creative process but when it isnt connected to something meaningful I loose interest in it. The closest I could with these two is working on series like Rick&Morty which comes close to feeling like a LP. But I think there is a last component, a last value that is blocked from my mind. Besides these top two values I also care about empathy, goodness, authenticity, but not enough about any of them to make a LP in combination with the two about them I think. I sometimes look in my past to where the last puzzle piece might be. I developed a very profound even mystical happiness as a kid as I think that I had mystical experiences in kindergarden. I really vibed with Jesus in that time as well. I felt like it would virtually be impossible to break my spirit because I was connected to something unbreakable. I even felt like I needed to go through some real shit, to be lost, to come out of it and from that place be authentically able to help other people. I had a feeling of calling back then. Well I am not quite back to my inner garden of roses yet. I did about 20 trips of psychedelics and never realized a mystical experience because I was in too much shit mentally I think. (interestingly never had a really bad trip either though) I formulated my LP rather vague. I couldnt find any formulation that deeply inspired because as I said I think there is some authentic part of me missing. Taking my reflection about my past and moments of reflection I feel like it has to do with healing, bliss, profound love, existential (healing), spirituality. But I cant completely make out if these things interest me because I feel like I have a lack of them (negative motivation) or if it is authentic. To make my LP more concrete I could reformulate it like this for example (but I am not sure about it): - giving people blissful spiritual experiences to make them more loving and conscious. - finding existential beauty and meaning in fucked up situations to make people more hopeful So with all of this I have no clear direction of where to go and I found out new things about myself/ unblock blockades and this is probably going on for months and years to come. All ways would help me move forwards. If I study to become a teacher that would be an acceptable path which would allow me to do lots of other stuff (LP) I am interested in as well but then I could never study to become a serious actor because I would be too old at this point. I would need to become more clear about myself and my values to see what I value most. A side thought is also to experiment with start ups (for money) as I have lots of ideas for them. Right now I am thinking of continue studying while giving myself time to process and I can on the side apply to acting schools. Chances of getting accepted are pretty low anyways and if I get accepted that would be a sign that I am quite talented. Design ohne Titel.pdf

Hey y'all This is going to be my new journal on my new account. I left the old acc because I didn't like my username. Let me introduce myself first. My name is Sincerity and I'm from Poland. [image removed] ^ This is me! I'm currently ??? years old. I'm admittedly young but I hope you can see me beyond my age, for what I am I've been on this forum for more than 3 years and until now I've (kinda) held my identity a secret. But lately I've had some realizations in regard to expressing myself more honestly and yeah. Here I am, being more open with you. Now you have a slightly better idea of who's behind the account. (Edit: Ironic haha. But it has to be this way. Everything ends.) I've been on the spiritual path for roughly 4-5 years now and I feel like I've had much progress. I definitely have many insights to share. But I'm still pretty much a beginner and I'm on the journey along with you. Try to keep up, because I feel like I'm growing pretty fast (this year has been insane for me so far, seriously!) I've been mulling over my important values for years and this is where I stand right now: I am primarily about goodness. I am about love. I am about bliss, wisdom, appreciation, responsibility, sincerity, curiosity, discipline and humility. I also really value humor and laughter. You might notice I'm often tongue-in-cheek in my posts I don't like posting very frequently and I'm still not sure what I will even be posting here but tell you what, it's going to come from a place of sincerity Love and have a great day ❤️

I got addicted to weed because it caused many awakenings. And I was watching my body not in control as it went for more because I was losing the doer, or at least, I thought I was losing the doer, before this I was highly disciplined. Now I'm pretty disciplined again, now that I have sober spiritual practice for 6 months haven't smoked in two months and access the bliss state without drugs.

I can relate to a lot of this, especially before I started my journey. The first thing that jumps to me is well yeah if you watch porn especially hardcore porn daily then that's gonna take a sledgehammer to your dopamine reward system and make sexuality feel flat. If you're into particularly unorthodox paraphilias it's perhaps helpful to deconstruct that as it'll point you towards different parts of your psyche that you're unaware of. This is a good Teal Swan video where she talks on it. You don't have to open your whole closet of skeletons in public but perhaps AI can help you deconstruct it. @Sugarcoat Fair enough. I did miss your comment about letting the sexual energy build up instead of needing to transmute it into action. I'll ponder on that, I had an interesting experience yesterday going out with basically my nervous system lighting on fire and experiencing full body bliss while I was meditating at an outdoor event. It was quite wonderful, never experienced something like that before. Even expanding on my inner thoughts in this thread has been liberating for me as it's things I've thought about but not really expressed in this much depth before. The conclusion I came to is I have perhaps more libido than the average person and need to build a bigger container than most to express it.

Merkaba and Toroidal field are two terms that I’ve taken an interest in. Also ethics in relation to A.I and quantum computers which is almost laughable considering my ability to do anything whatsoever about it. Now isn’t this an odd combination of material that seems relatively synchronous. I’ve got several metaphorical file folders in my mind where I hold bits of information as if were true. From there a discernment of to what degree is this true. Partial perspectives here,,, partial perspectives there,,, here a spective there a spective,,, fairly often blah, blah, blah, 😕 https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/markabah The Very Presence of Pure Pleasure The Markabah is a structure of essence, composed of all aspects in the diamond form except that in this dimension each aspect appears not only clear, faceted, and precise but also as the very presence of pure pleasure. Each diamond feels and tastes like wonderful piece of candy, with an affect deeply and pleasurably satisfying, a state of consciousness that fills the soul with a pleasurable bliss that penetrates and suffuses all of her field, filling all the cells of the body with a glowing and fulfilling sensation. The Inner Journey Home, pg. 240 If anyone reading this and is interested in these topics. Feel free to share your insights and opinions,,,,,

Started March 7th. Two sits a day, started around 30 min to now mostly 80 to 90 minutes each. I'm somewhere in the back half of First Kriya. Yoni Mudra stable at 90 seconds, Kechari, Maha Mudra, Navi Kriya, full Pranayama stack. The first three months were one of the ugliest stretches of my adult life. Nobody told me this part. So here it is. What actually came up An ex I hadn't thought about in months surfaced like she lived in my chest. Grief that doubled me over. A "I am fundamentally unlovable" core wound I didn't know I was carrying showed up around session 10 and sat on me for weeks. Refused to mute her on Instagram even though I knew I should. Dreamt she married a prince and I watched it through stories. That's the level of subconscious sludge the breath drags up. 4am wakings with my heart pounding for no reason. Sleep got worse before it got better. Samskaras process at night. Hulk level rage at my family. I'm talking visualizations of killing people I love. Then immediately the broadcast samskara fired. I went and told a friend the detail because part of me wanted credit for the catharsis. Caught myself only because I was reporting to a coach. Spontaneous body convulsions during Yoni Mudra. Gag reflex from vagus activation. The "verge of exploding and dying" feeling before the bliss door opens. A non-dual experience on a beach where I merged with everything. Woman, dog, ocean, no separation, weeping at the beauty. Followed within hours by a full ego reconstruction panic attack at 4am. I posted about the beach experience on Instagram and texted a friend a screenshot of my own insight before deleting both. That's the loop. Insight, broadcast, identity, pressure to perform, anxiety, shame. It runs in pickup, it runs in spirituality, it runs everywhere. Around session 92 I had a long conversation with a British woman earlier in the day. She left. Hours later I'm standing outside a cheesecake shop in India and she comes back. Says "hi friends," and jumps into my arms and starts weeping uncontrollably. Not crying. Weeping like something inside her had been waiting a year to come out. I held her. Took her to the side. Said "it's okay, it's okay, cry." Started breathing with her, our stomachs touching, for about 10 minutes. She stopped. I sat her down with the cheesecake and said "feel the wetness on your face, the sadness, the sorrow, it's so fucking pleasurable." She broke into laughing hysterics and we ended up laughing together. I walked her toward my place and decided not to bring her up. Gave her a hug. Didn't take her number. Closed loop. And right after, I felt the structural pull of how spiritual leaders become sexual predators. I felt it from inside. Regulated nervous system plus vulnerable seeker plus intense bonding plus projection of divinity equals the exact circuit. I understood Lahiri's rule against organizations in my body for the first time. That's the level of clarity Kriya gives you about your own potential darkness. A few days before session 101 I had another one. Deep conversation, very fast. Dating, sexuality, consciousness, silent presence. She cried during it. I felt the pull, decided not to pursue. Didn't message her. Then a few days later I'm sitting in a cafe working, and she walks in. Says "hey" passing me, sits with another guy. Five minutes later she leaves him, comes over to me, makes small talk about her foot healing for five minutes, says "I need to go, I'll see you again," and goes back to the guy. While she's leaving the cafe she shouts "Bye Hari!" across the whole restaurant. I was sitting with an American friend at the time. My nervous system went into the floor. Day-long fear spike. Mind bombarding with guilt, shame, worry, every possible angle. Sexual energy uncontainable, pulsations streaming up and down my body. That night I woke up hallucinating. My laptop became a boat. There was a crocodile trapped at the bottom of the boat. A lizard popped out of it crawling along the keyboard. Hypnopompic paralysis, couldn't move, just watching it. I didn't message her. Didn't post. Didn't go looking for her. Brought it to a coach instead of acting on any of it. Social collapse. Couldn't look people in the eyes. Couldn't smile naturally. Parvastha bleeding into daily life so much I stopped wanting to talk to anyone. Watching girls on the beach instead of approaching, half witnessing, half avoiding, mostly avoiding. Sloth states after sessions. Lying down "thinking" for an hour. Stopped sessions to write poems. Tried to do three sits in a day. Went over the timer constantly. The mind dresses up self sabotage as creativity, as devotion, as "deepening." Crying as cathartic relief, not pain. That's the good version. The bad version is hell/bliss oscillation inside the same retention. Pure terror, then pure love, every 8 seconds, for 80 minutes. You don't get to leave the seat. This is not a hobby. It's a controlled demolition of the self you walked in with. If you have unfinished business with a parent, an ex, your ambition, your specialness, it is coming up, on the practice's schedule, not yours. The bliss is real. The "I am" state is real. But the path runs straight through every wound you've spent twenty years arranging your life to avoid feeling. Sit twice a day. Don't post about it. Don't make it your identity. Don't join the course. Don't tell people how deep you went. Get a coach or a friend who will call you on your shit. It is worth it. It is not pretty.

“PORTALS INTO THE UNMANIFESTED” (Tolle 1999, 107) &&& It is probably best if you read this document (`unmanifested.md`, https://pastebin.com/NP3rAur9) using a text editor like Windows Notepad or GNOME Text Editor and not a word processor like Microsoft Word. “Self (God) is Infinite, Limitless; One, Indivisible; Perfect; Changeless, Immutable; Timeless, Without Beginning or End; Whole, The All; Omniscient, Omnipotent, Omnipresent.” (Lester 1962, 65) See `Umbrella terms.md` (https://pastebin.com/NP3rAur9) for a list of synonyms of God (= the Unmanifested). “God and good are sometimes used synonymously. Because everyone wants good, they make God good. God is above good and bad. However, good leads us to God.” (Lester 1993, 345) In the same way, God and infinite, limitless, etc. are sometimes used ... “The Isness _is_ without extension.” (Weber 1996, 148) God just _is_, as opposed to God is infinite. “The moment you make it into something, you have missed it.” (Tolle 1999, 114) ““I” doesn’t eat. It’s “is-ing.”” (Katie 1998, 3) “Love (= the Unmanifested) is what you are already.” (Katie and Katz 2005, chap. 12, 245) “Love isn’t a portal; it’s what comes _through_ the portal into this world.” (Tolle 1999, 112) (“~~The apparent mind that questions itself begins to understand where it comes from, which is pure~~ love, for lack of a better word.” (Katie and Mitchell 2017, chap. 6, 67)) “The little self, the ego, is nothing but the innate infinite Self assuming that It is limited. There are no two selves, one higher, the other lower, no two “I’s.” There is only one Self. It is perfect and always will be perfect, even though you make the false assumption that It is imperfect and limited. You are now, always were, and always will be your Self.” (Levenson 1993, 348) &&& - “__GOING DEEPLY INTO THE BODY__” “the inner body” (Tolle 1999, 107) &&& ___(Dreamless (adj.)) sleep (n.)___ - “__DREAMLESS SLEEP__” (Tolle 1999, 110) Dreamless (adj.). “You take a journey into the Unmanifested every night when you enter the phase of deep dreamless sleep. You merge with the Source.” “Can you imagine what it would be like to go into dreamless sleep with full consciousness? It is impossible to imagine it, because that state has no content.” “The Unmanifested does not liberate you until you enter it consciously.” “In the Isness we merge with God.” (Weber 1996, 149) “This again is death. It is a conscious death.” (Weber 1996, 149) “But don’t attempt to stay conscious in dreamless sleep. It is highly unlikely that you will succeed.” (Tolle 1999, 110) &&& ___(Timeless (adj.)) now (n.)___ - “timeless Now” (n.) (Tolle 1999, 111) Timeless (adj.). “Self (God (= the Unmanifested)) is ... Timeless” (Lester 1962, 65) “When you dissolve psychological time through intense present-moment awareness, you become conscious of the Unmanifested both directly and indirectly.” (Tolle 1999, 111) “When did the universe begin? Right now (if at all). A clear mind sees that any past is just a thought.” (Katie and Mitchell 2007, chap. 52, 151) “..., because the past is just a thought in the present. (So is the present.)” (Katie and Mitchell 2017, chap. 10, 90) &&& ___(? (adj.)) silence (n.)___ See “__SILENCE__” (Tolle 1999, 112–113) for instructions. “Silence enables the sound to be.” Truth enables the falseness (= “The quality of being false.”) to be. I am true (adj.), truth (n.), the absence of falseness. Truth is transparent, silent, timeless, etc. I am transparent (adj.), transparency (n.), the absence of ?. Transparency (n.) is silent, timeless, etc. (..., omnipotent, omnipresent, alone, unmanifested, ignorant, desireless, good, peaceful, meaningless, familiar, ...) So you are these nouns and these adjectives right now. And you can use the self-growth yardsticks (Lester 1962, 63–64) to gauge to what degree you feel certain you have any of these godlike qualities. ..., “Why Truth Is The Highest Value”, 8 Sept 2025, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvNGha_g2U4. &&& ___(Empty (adj.), transparent (adj.)) space (n.)___ “__SPACE__” (Tolle 1999, 113–115) “Just as no sound can exist without silence, nothing can exist without no-thing, without the empty space that enables it to be. Every physical object or body has come out of nothing, is surrounded by nothing, and will eventually return to nothing.” “The Unmanifested is not only present in this world as silence; it also pervades the entire physical universe as space — from within and without. This is just as easy to miss as silence. Everybody pays attention to the things in space, but who pays attention to space itself?” “The moment you make it into something, you have missed it. Nothing — space — is the appearance of the Unmanifested as an externalized phenomenon in a sense-perceived world. That’s about as much as one can say about it, and even that is a kind of paradox.” “Space has no “existence.” “Although in itself it has no existence, it enables everything else to exist. Silence has no existence either, nor does the Unmanifested.” “So what happens if ...” &&& ___The darkness (n.)___ “What is the “darkness within darkness”? It’s the mind that doesn’t know a thing. This don’t-know mind is the center of the universe—it _is_ the universe—there’s nothing outside it. The reason that darkness is the gateway to all understanding is that once the darkness is ___understood___ [emphasis added][“The Unmanifested does not liberate you until you enter it consciously. That’s why Jesus did not say: the truth will make you free, but rather: “You will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.” This is not a conceptual truth. It is the truth of eternal life beyond form, which is known directly or not at all.” (Tolle 1999, 110)], you’re clear that nothing is separate from you. No name, no thought, can possibly be true in an ultimate sense. It’s all provisional; it’s all changing. The dark, the nameless, the unthinkable—that is what you can absolutely trust. It doesn’t change, and it’s benevolent. When you realize this, you just have to laugh. There’s nothing serious about life or death.” (Katie and Mitchell 2007, chap. 1, 6) “The darkness, the void, the space that the mind is terrified to enter, is the beginning of all life. It’s the womb of being. Fall in love with it, and when you do, it will immediately be taken from you, as you witness the birth of light.” (Katie and Mitchell 2007, chap. 5, 14) “At some point, I found myself in a place I couldn’t return from. It was so far away that the distance is unimaginable. There was total darkness, with no one and nothing there. It felt as if I were alienated from all beings, forever. I didn’t know how I got there or how to get back. There was no way to die, because being has no opposite there. In that place there’s no death and you live alone forever. There’s no light, no up or down, no possibility of movement, no anything. There’s nothing, forever, with no way out. I felt such terror. And then the questions arose to meet the thought: _Can I really know that this is true? How do I react when I believe that there is something better than this? Who would I be without my story of forever?_ And because of this inquiry, the darkness became friendly. I was totally present and comfortable in it. When that reality became as comfortable as this reality, I found myself again as “woman sitting on chair in house on Fredricks Street in paradise.” I was at home in that darkness, forever, just as much at home as I am here.” (Katie and Mitchell 2017, chap. 23, 211) %%% ___(Unconditional (adj.)) love (n.)___ Unconditional (adj.)(, unconditioned (adj.)), selfless (adj.), loving (adj.). - “loving” (Katie and Mitchell 2017, chap. 25, 235) - “selfless” (…, “Outrageous Experiments In Consciousness - 30 Awakenings In 30 Days”, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnn0IU0-atg, 1 hr., 1 min., 55 sec.) - “unconditional” (Katie and Mitchell 2007, chap. 7, 18) “You are NOT God as long as you oppose what is.” (Katie 1998, 150) “Surrender — the letting go of mental-emotional resistance to what _is_ — also becomes a portal into the Unmanifested.” “In the state of surrender, your form identity softens and becomes somewhat “transparent,” as it were, so the Unmanifested can shine through you.” (Tolle 1999, 112) “When they criticize you and you notice that you love them with all you heart, your work is done.” (https://web.archive.org/web/20250526152359/https://thework.com/2015/09/when-they-criticize-2/) “If you were able to love as much as God what would happen is that this duality would completely merge and you would literally become God so the only thing separating you from God is simply your capacity to love which is just a function of how selfless you are” (…, “Outrageous Experiments In Consciousness - 30 Awakenings In 30 Days”, 19 April 2020, 1 hr., 41 min., 10 sec., https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnn0IU0-atg) “The top state is total selflessness. How much are we selfless? If we're at the top, we're totally selfless.” (“Lester Levenson, Hale Dwoskin - Lester Levenson (Sedona Method) Magnum Opus PDF-Lester Levenson _ Sedona Method (2024)”, 969) “Loving, in fact, often stems from personal strength—meaning, that loving people do not really care that much whether others love them and are therefore strong enough to be truly interested in others. It is altruistic but not particularly self-sacrificing, since, at bottom, the loving individuals enjoy and like themselves and have no need to sacrifice their own major interests to win the approval of others.” (Ellis 2004, 55) “SELF-GROWTH YARDSTICKS” “How loving am I? Do I love all beings?” “Am I accepting of the world and the people around me?” “Am I accepting of myself?” (Lester 1962, 64) (Am I seeking the approval of others? __YOUR TICKET TO IMPERTURBABILITY__” “Allow the <u>wanting approval</u>, <u>wanting to control</u> and <u>wanting security</u> (= “wanting to survive as a body”) to come into your awareness and immediately let it go.” (gains_workbook-sedona-method-release-technique-1992.pdf, 90)) “___Fast Steps to Freedom___” “Be all giving” (“The abundance course - Crane, Lawrence;Levenson, Lester, 1909-.pdf”, 81) `The giving _is_ the receiving.md` (https://pastebin.com/NP3rAur9) “All attitude and action should be in the direction of helping yourself and others toward Realization.” (Lester 1993, 191) “If we want to be loved, the way to get it is to love.” (Levenson 1993, 254) If we want to be helped, the way to get it is to help. If we want to be told the truth .... If we want .... “__HELPING OTHERS__” (Levenson 1993, 166–171) “__MORE ON HELPING OTHERS__” (Levenson 1993, 171–177) “Reality is a race, consciousness is a race towards who can love [= “like or enjoy very much”] who more. That's what it is when you're completely selfless.” (…, “Outrageous Experiments In Consciousness - 30 Awakenings In 30 Days”, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnn0IU0-atg, 1 hr., 1 min., 55 sec.) So I don't have to change things, I just have not to dislike them. “Would you let go of the thought that you dislike the person, thing or situation if you could?” “One does not increase his love. One merely gets rid of one's hate.” (“Lester Levenson, Hale Dwoskin - Lester Levenson (Sedona Method) Magnum Opus PDF-Lester Levenson _ Sedona Method (2024)”, 962) “_I can totally reject and even actively oppose what a person is saying and doing._ And at the same time, I can continue to _love that person_ no matter what their behavior is. My ego just has to let me remember that the person is _not_ the mental tapes (conditioning, habits of mind, or _programming_) they have learned.” (Keyes 1992, 5) “So we love everyone, see them as misguided beings, forgive them for they know not what they do. They’re like children, misguided. Attain the highest state of loving everyone equally as Christ did!” (Lester 1993, 124) &&& ___Desireless (adj.)___ - “desireless” (Lester 1993, 264) Desireless (adj.). “There’s an easy way to realization. Just get rid of all desires.” (Levenson 1993, 113) “You must get rid of all desire. You can enjoy without desire. In fact, if you really want to enjoy things, you can enjoy far more without desire.” (Levenson 1993, 114) “Q: You just have to be desireless? Lester: Yes, that’s it! Being desireless, you will see who and what you are;” (Lester 1993, 264) “SELF-GROWTH YARDSTICKS” “Am I desireless? Do I have no attachments and no aversions?” (Lester 1962, 63) ““Both formerly & now, it’s only stress that I describe, and the cessation of stress” (SN 22:86; MN 22)” (https://www.dhammatalks.org/books/OnThePath/Section0006.html) ““And this, monks, is the noble truth of the cessation of stress: the remainderless fading & cessation, renunciation, relinquishment, release, & letting go of that very craving (= taṇhā; “Craving or excessive or inappropriate desire”).” (SN 56:11) &&& ___(Changeless (adj.)) screen (n.)___ - “changeless screen” (n.) Changeless (adj.), immutable (adj.). “Self (God (=the Unmanifested)) is” “Changeless, Immutable” (Lester 1962, 65) “God, Truth, the Self is changeless. If God knew change, He wouldn't be changeless.” “God is only the changeless beingness behind the World.” (Levenson 1993, 346) “The unrealized man takes the moving pictures to be real, and if he would investigate by grabbing hold of the moving pictures, he would discover the truth, that it is just a changeless screen. Grab hold of your Self and discover the changeless substratum of the world!” (Levenson 1993, 164) “___Watching the Play___” (Katie and Jensen 2000, 174) “Discover this and you discover the absolute Truth.” (Levenson 1993, 89) “The Screen That Lies Behind the Movie” (..., 10 June 2026, https://rupertspira.com/watch-listen/archive/the-screen-that-lies-behind-the-movie/the-screen-that-lies-behind-the-movie/) &&& ___Familiar (adj.)___ - “familiar”, “transparent” (Spira 2022, 21) “there is like a empty white transparent void right where your face you used to imagine was” (…, “Guided Exercise For Realizing You Are God”, 29 November 2020, 57 min., 45 sec., https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdWxdhEB19s) Familiar (adj.), ___transparent___ (adj.). “The fact of being aware is the most obvious, intimate and familiar element of experience, and yet it has no objective features. Like space, it cannot be seen, heard, tasted, touched or smelt. It is, so to speak, transparent; it is silent and empty. And yet without it there can be no experience.” (Spira 2022, 21) “The fact of knowing, being aware or awareness itself is closer to us than our breathing, our innermost thoughts or our most cherished feelings. In fact, it is not _close_ to us; it _is_ what we essentially are. It is overlooked precisely because it is so intimate and familiar, not because it is remote, unknown or inaccessible.” (Spira 2022, 22) “It is simply the familiar sense of self that always accompanies us, that _is_ us, but is now relieved of its previous agitation and sense of lack.” (Spira 2022, 31) “The familiar experience of our self to which we refer when we say ‘I am’ becomes the belief and feeling ‘I am this’ or ‘I am that’. Our unlimited, aware being becomes, or seems to become, a temporary, finite self or ego and, as a result, our innate peace and joy is veiled. It is this veiling of our being that is responsible for our suffering. The happiness we _are_ becomes the happiness we _seek_.” (Spira 2022, 44) “Everyone experiences his Self every moment of his life.” (Levenson 1993, 346) “My Self is the nearest of the near and the dearest of the dear.” (Levenson 1993, 346) &&& ___Fearless (adj.)___ - “fearless” (Katie and Mitchell 2007, chap. 7, 18) Fearless (adj.). “Love joins everything, without condition. It doesn’t avoid the nightmare; it looks forward to it and then inquires.” (Katie and Katz 2005, chap. 12, 246) “It’s unconditional, unceasing, fearless, tireless, without reservations.” (Katie and Mitchell 2007, chap. 7, 18) “You've got the method. No more wanting approval or control. Freeze the mind enough so you can dig down into the number one program. Wanting to survive as a body. Fear of dying. You pull that out, you're free.” (“Lester Levenson, Hale Dwoskin - Lester Levenson (Sedona Method) Magnum Opus PDF-Lester Levenson _ Sedona Method (2024)”, 837) “If you're committed, as you say you are, to allow the feelings of the fear of dying up, and allow them to go out.” (“Lester Levenson, Hale Dwoskin - Lester Levenson (Sedona Method) Magnum Opus PDF-Lester Levenson _ Sedona Method (2024).pdf”, 7) “Once you release the fear of dying, you'll discover the next and last step. And you don't become an idiot, a zombie. You just become the universe. Your beingness, you see, is the total beingness of the universe.” (“Lester Levenson, Hale Dwoskin - Lester Levenson (Sedona Method) Magnum Opus PDF-Lester Levenson _ Sedona Method (2024).pdf”, 15) “Bring up the fear of dying. That'll do it for you, if you'll do it. But you're not free now, so you didn't do it.” (“Lester Levenson, Hale Dwoskin - Lester Levenson (Sedona Method) Magnum Opus PDF-Lester Levenson _ Sedona Method (2024).pdf”, 1416) “___Making Friends with Death___” (Katie and Jensen 2000, 178) &&& ___Omniscient (adj.)___ - “omniscient” Omniscient (adj.). “If you take away your mind what’s left over is Omniscience. You are that omniscient Being that you are seeking, clouded over by mind.” (Levenson 1993, 96) “The mind is simply the sum total composite of all thoughts.” (Levenson 1993, 87) “Every mind uses the very same unlimited intelligence. Everyone uses it as much as he believes he can use it to fulfill his desires. When he learns that his mental limitations are self-imposed, he lets go of them. Then his intelligence (I.Q.) can be raised to the degree of no limitation.” (Levenson 1993, 92) “If you want to be good at anything, the less the ego, the better you are. The ego is a limiting adjunct on the Self. Since the ego is a limiting adjunct of the Self, the less the ego, the more capable you are in everything (except one thing - misery.)” (Levenson 1993, 75) &&& ___Omnipotent (adj.)___ - “omnipotent” (Lester 1962, 65) Omnipotent (adj.), free (adj.). “Let go of your fear of dying you'll see you are eternal you are in total control of your universe” (“Lester Levenson, Hale Dwoskin - Lester Levenson (Sedona Method) Magnum Opus PDF-Lester Levenson _ Sedona Method (2024)”, 115) “Control is not a dirty word. Control is something we must achieve, but it must be total control of everything in our universe.” (“Lester Levenson, Hale Dwoskin - Lester Levenson (Sedona Method) Magnum Opus PDF-Lester Levenson _ Sedona Method (2024)”, 102) “There's absolutely nothing wrong with being in control. There's nothing wrong with loving or having approval. The problem is we're always wanting it. And when we're wanting it, we're holding it away.” (“Lester Levenson, … Sedona Method (2024)”, 6–7) __YOUR TICKET TO IMPERTURBABILITY__” “Allow the <u>wanting approval</u>, <u>wanting to control</u> and <u>wanting security</u> (= “wanting to survive as a body”) to come into your awareness and immediately let it go.” (gains_workbook-sedona-method-release-technique-1992.pdf, 90) “SELF-GROWTH YARDSTICKS” “Do I accept full responsibility for whatever happens to me?” “Am I free to do or not to do the things I want or don't want to do? (Lester 1962, 63) “To be free is to have a choice to do or not to do a thing. Complete freedom would allow us to walk down a main street nude. However, to do this would be foolish as it would result in arrest and other trouble. What is required for freedom is the <u>ability</u> to do it, but not the doing of it.” (Lester 1962, 51–52) “SELF-GROWTH YARDSTICKS” “We know only that which we can do. What can I <u>do</u>? “__18. Shame-Attacking Exercises__” (Burns 2020, 479–480) “__Classical Exposure Techniques__” (Burns 2020, 488–489) “__Cognitive Exposure Techniques__” (Burns 2020, 489–490) “In fact, the thought of doing imagery exposure to the train trip was so anxiety-provoking that J refused to do the exposure. We took one step further back and asked her to do imagery exposure to the image of doing imagery exposure! Once she got comfortable with the imagery of herself doing imagery exposure to the train trip and becoming highly distraught and tearful in front of her therapist, she was willing to expose herself to the imagery of the train trip.” (Zinbarg et al. 2006, 37) “Exposure therapy” (..., 11 June 2026, https://en.wikipedia.org) “__ASSERTIVE RIGHT I You have the right to judge your own behavior, thoughts, and emotions, and to take the responsibility for their initiation and consequences upon yourself__” (Smith 1975, 24–46) “___Fast Steps to Freedom___” “Take responsibility for everything.” “Get everything only by releasing.” (“The abundance course - Crane, Lawrence;Levenson, Lester, 1909-.pdf”, 81) “__The Turnarounds__” (Katie and Mitchell 2021, 154) “As long as you think that the cause of your problem is “out there”—as long as you think that anyone or anything else is responsible for your suffering—the situation is hopeless.” (Katie and Mitchell 2021, 154) “___Responsibility Without Blame___” “Please note again that taking responsibility is very different from blaming yourself or others. Don’t get caught in the blaming trap.” (Keyes 1992, 166) “confusion is wanting two things at once and and one thing is not what what's there” (…, “Bridging Heaven & Earth Show # 67 with Byron Katie and Kate Wolf”, 31 August 2025, 21 min., 25 sec., https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwUwJgRBMcw) “Everyone is doing exactly what he or she wants to.” (Levenson 1993, 192) “Speaker: I feel a lot of pressure like it's not my responsibility to help care for the family. So I'm angry that I have to bear the burden. “Katie: Yeah. As thought you have to and you didn't. Speaker: But I did. Katie: Because you wanted to. That's the part you miss.” (…, “Byron Katie - Spiritual Teaching - Turn it Around - Documentary Film (Formless Art Production)”, 3 min., 35 sec., 5 April 2025, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-vBAEcjmTI) “If you want one practical key for quickly reaching the Goal, I would recommend that you take full responsibility for everything that happens to you.” (Levenson 1993, 143) “Just say, __“Look what I did.”__ [emphasis added]” (Levenson 1993, 81) “__Lester:__ … You are doing it. It’s important that you take full responsibility because, if you don’t, you will never get out of this trap. __Q:__ I understand that it is something that we have created ourselves, but it has reached such a proportion! __Lester:__ Not it, it is you who have reached such a proportion. So long as you blame something else, you’ll never get out of it. You’re doing it. Can’t you see that you cannot undo your limitation as long as you’ll not take responsibility for it? No matter what you call It, whether you call it mind, or body, you are doing it.” (Levenson 1993, 365) “to awaken is to become fully lucid within your own dream to understand how you're constructing the dream and that it is all your dream and to take 100 absolute responsibility for the dream” (..., “You Are The Only Person In Existence (Actualized.org/Leo Gura)”, 1 hr., 7 min., 44 sec., 15 Mar 2022, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTHef1NvBRw) “The cosmic joke is, it's all a dream. Everything. All of it.”, https://www.instagram.com/p/Bm3o1tBB39T/. &&& ___Happiness (n.)___ Happiness (n.), joy (n.). - “Happiness” (Spira 2022, _You Are the Happiness You Seek: Uncovering the Awareness of Being_.) “___Fast Steps to Freedom___” “Take all your joy from within.” “Be yourself.” (“The abundance course - Crane, Lawrence;Levenson, Lester, 1909-.pdf”, 81) “Isn’t that why you want to save the world in the first place? So that you can be happy? Well, skip the middleman, and be happy from here! You’re it. You’re the one.” (Katie and Mitchell 2007, chap. 29, 82) “Once you understand yourself, you are the pleasure you were seeking; you are what you always wanted.” (Katie and Mitchell 2007, chap. 73, 241) “All of my desire for my entire life has just been desire of my own self. …. So in a sense all of your desire is really, is a perversion of the desire for God.” (…, “Outrageous Experiments In Consciousness - 30 Awakenings In 30 Days”, 19 April 2020, 47 min., 20 sec., https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnn0IU0-atg) “When the object is attained, the mind stills, the joy of your Self shines forth and this joy is attributed to the object, ….” (Levenson 1993, 109) “You can let go of those thoughts without achieving the person or the thing, and immediately you're happy.” (“Lester Levenson, Hale Dwoskin - Lester Levenson (Sedona Method) Magnum Opus PDF-Lester Levenson _ Sedona Method (2024)”, 1257) “If we are enjoying anything, we are in duality /djuːˈæləti/. If I enjoy this, there’s “I” and “this.” If there’s God (Self) alone, there can’t be any “I” and “this.” The basic Truth is that you are all joy.” (Levenson 1993, 342) “This thing that everyone is seeking, this thing that everyone calls happiness, is nothing but the infinite Self that we are. Everyone, in his every act, is seeking this infinite Self that he is, calling it by other names: money, happiness, success, love, etc.” (Levenson 1993, 305) “Everyone is seeking the Self, calling It by different names.” (Levenson 1993, 343) “Anyone who’s seeking happiness is seeking the Self. There are two kinds of people in the world: those who are consciously seeking God, happiness, the Self, and those who are unconsciously seeking them.” (Levenson 1993, 343) “Everyone is seeking his Self in his every act.” (Levenson 1993, 347) “The ultimate happiness is the Self. Any other happiness is only a bit of the Self.” Levenson 1993, 347) “__Friend:__ … , but as soon as it’s “I want that corn chip,” it’s time to investigate? __Katie:__ Yes. _But not with the motive of not eating the corn chip._ You investigate for the love of truth because that’s what you want. A corn chip is a metaphor for that that you really want.” (Katie 1998, 3) “If you want more joy, don’t enjoy the thing - enjoy the joy. Be joy! Happiness is our natural inherent state. We are the All. We artificially create a lack and then a desire to relieve that lack, which, when that lack is undone, seems to make us feel better. It’s like sticking a pin into your skin until it hurts and then when you take the pin out, you say, “Gee, that feels good.” This is exactly what enjoying things and people is. We hurt ourselves by creating a lack and then remove the lack and the pain, and say, “Gee, that feels good. That makes me happy.” Every time you feel happiness, you feel only your real Self, more or less. The happier you are, the more you feel your real Self. But you wrongly attribute it to things and people outside of yourself. This is very important so let me restate the mechanism. When you create the lack, you start up thoughts: I need this person or this thing to make me happy. This causes a bit of pain, which you experience as a need, a lack. When you are relieved of that thought of lack, you return back to being your Self, and this is what you call happiness. So that what you have been calling happiness is really only a doing away with a correlation of happiness which is your inherent natural state, restoring it and then wrongly attributing it to external people and things so that we become attached to these external people and things.” (Levenson 1993, 221) “However, when we realize the order of creation—__think, feel, act, have__—then we know how to undo the chaos.” (Katie 1996, 8) Think (that you don't have), feel (bad), act (to get the thing that you don't have), have, (don't feel) bad. __Think__ (that you don't have), __feel__ (bad; in the sense of, experience a negative, stressful feeling), __act__ (to get the thing that you don't have), __have__, (don't) __feel__ (bad). &&& ___Ignorant (adj.)___ Ignorant (adj.; “often disapproving”), unknowing (adj.). “Not knowing; not having knowledge, ignorant, (of). Also foll. by _of_, _that_.” _Shorter Oxford English Dictionary (6 ed.)_, unknowing (adj.), sense A.1, 3446. “Lacking knowledge (general or particular); not versed _in_ a subject, unaware _of_ a fact, _that_.” _Shorter Oxford English Dictionary (6 ed.)_, ignorant (adj.), sense A.1, 1322. “late Middle English: via Old French from Latin _ignorant_- ‘not knowing’, from the verb _ignorare_, from _in_- ‘not’ + _gno_-, a base meaning ‘know’.” _Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary_, ignorant (adj.), 10 June 2026, https://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/definition/english/ignorant. “Awareness knows nothing, and therefore it’s hidden to itself.” (Katie and Mitchell 2017, 235) “All you can do is be it.” (Katie and Katz 2005, 246) “You can’t use It, you can’t know It — you can only be It.” (Levenson 1993, 353) “How can one phenomena in the phenomenal field (= perception) be perceiving another?” (Leo Gura, “List Of Enlightenment Exercises”, 2 Jan 2017, https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/7587-list-of-enlightenment-exercises/) “You say, “I want to know myself.” You _are_ the “I.” You _are_ the Knowing. You _are_ the consciousness through which everything is known. And that cannot _know_ itself; it _is_ itself.” (Tolle 2003, 55–56) “When we aren’t attached to our thinking, when all the why’s, when’s, and where’s let go of us, then what really is becomes visible.” (Katie and Mitchell 2007, _Question Your Thinking, Change the World: Quotations from Byron Katie_, 203) “Your ego [“The ego is a thought system ….” (Weber 1996, 150)] has to terrify you all the time or you would go home to God in the body as I have done. This is what I’m here to live. When we are out of thinking, when we let go of having to know all the whys, whens, wheres then everything that Is becomes visible. The consciousness of the Isness, the same as death, comes through. The Isness _is_ without extension. There is no perception, form, thought. This is sometimes scary for humans because they don’t expand their consciousness enough to grasp this, so they stay terrified. The perfection is inconceivable, especially that it could come from being still and quiet and free of useless beliefs; free of beliefs that, of themselves, are useless.” (Weber 1996, 148) “In the Isness we merge with God.” “This again is death. It is a conscious death.” (Weber 1996, 149) “To psychologically control your behavior while you were learning and exploring this fascinating verbal ability, as soon as you could understand what your parents told you, you were trained to feel anxious, ignorant, and guilty. These feelings are simply conditioned or learned variations of our basic survival emotion of fear. Once we have learned to feel anxious, ignorant, or guilty, we will do a lot of things to avoid feeling these ways.” (Smith 1975, 15) “For example, if you are playing with your dog in the living room and Mom wants to take a nap on the couch, she teaches you to respond to manipulative emotional control by saying: “Why are you always playing with Rover.” You then must come up with an answer as to why you are always playing in the living room with Rover. Not knowing any reason why except the fact that you like to and it is fun, you feel ignorant, because if Mom asks for a reason, there must be one. She wouldn’t ask for something that didn't exist, would she? If you honestly but sheepishly reply: “I don’t know,” Mom counters with: “Why don’t you go play in your sister’s room with her?” Lacking a “good” reason why you prefer to play with the dog than with your sister, you are again induced to feel ignorant for not knowing why. Searching awkwardly for a reason, your mumbled reply is cut off by Mom “It seems like you never want to play with your sister. She wants to play with you.” Feeling guilty as hell by now, you remain silent as Mom delivers the coup de grace: “If you never want to play with your sister, she won’t like you and want to play with you.” Now feeling not only ignorant and guilty but also anxious about what your sister might think of your attitude, you depart with Rover on your heels to take up your rightful station in life beside Sis and out of Mom’s hearing.” (Smith 1975, 17–18) “__ASSERTIVE RIGHT VI You have the right to say, “I don’t know.”__” (Smith 1975, 57–59) “__ASSERTIVE RIGHT II You have the right to offer no reasons or excuses to justify your behavior.__” (Smith 1975, 47–49) “__ASSERTIVE RIGHT VIII You have the right to be illogical in making decisions.__” (Smith 1975, 62–65) “__ASSERTIVE RIGHT IX You have the right to say, “I don't understand.”__” (Smith 1975, 65–67) “___Moving Beyond Justification___” (Katie and Jensen 2000, 166) “Live your truth without explanation or qualification. For example, practice leaving a room honestly without manipulating those you leave behind with polite excuses. “I need to leave now” is enough to begin. Turn, walk, and leave; nothing more.” (Katie and Jensen 2000, 174) “__Relax the Problem Solver__” (Kelly 2019, 24–26) “You also realize that the turnaround for that statement is equally true:” (Katie and Mitchell 2017, chap. 8, 80) God is omniscient. &&& ___Alone (adj.)___ - “alone” (Katie and Mitchell 2007, chap. 70) Alone (adj.). “As it keeps inquiring, the mind continues to understand that it is its only enemy and that the world is entirely its projection, that it is alone, that there is no other, and that this is absolute.” (Katie and Mitchell 2007, chap. 70) “There are no humans; there is no mind; it’s all a dream.” (Katie and Mitchell 2017, chap. 9, 83) “The fact is that you’ve never reacted to someone else. You project meaning onto nothing, and you react to the meaning you yourself have projected. Loneliness comes from an honest place—you’re the only one here. There are no humans. You’re it.” (Katie and Mitchell 2017, chap. 16, 154) ..., “Aloneness is a Portal to Oneness”, 30 Jan 2025, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8IIsPeUMhk. “SELF-GROWTH YARDSTICKS” “Am I able to be alone and be at peace?” (Lester 1962, 64) See `Solipsism.md` (https://pastebin.com/NP3rAur9). ..., “Is Solipsism True ? - The Ultimate Guide To Solipsism”, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBSy8fetfDI, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTHef1NvBRw, https://www.bitchute.com/video/1HSdG8vnx6Qu/ %%% ___Indifference (n.)___ - “indifference” Indifferent (adj.), uncaring (adj.), guiltless (adj.). “__Guiltless__ is also not a very common word. It can indicate an absence of actual guilt (_Isabelle was guiltless: I was to blame for everything_) or an absence of any guilty feeling (_lavish menus for those who enjoy guiltless eating_).” _Oxford Thesaurus of English (3 ed.)_, “_Choose the right word_ __innocent, blameless, guiltless__” 468. “God is indifference. Indifference is Love! LOVE IS INDIFFERENCE!” (Leo Gura, _Actualized Quotes #597_, 15 May 2026, https://actualized.org/insights/actualized-quotes-597) “to feel that something is important and worth worrying about” _Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary_, care (v.), sense 1, 10 June 2026, https://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/definition/english/care_2. “__care (about somebody)__ to like or love somebody and worry about what happens to them” _Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary_, care (v.), sense 2, 10 June 2026, https://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/definition/english/care_2. “__identification (with somebody/something)__ a strong feeling of sympathy, understanding or support for somebody/something” _Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary_, identification (n.), sense 4, https://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/definition/english/identification. “Some people think that compassion means feeling another person’s pain. That’s nonsense. It’s not possible to feel another person’s pain. You imagine what ...” (Katie and Mitchell 2007, chap. 26, 72) “_You say, “Nothing and something are equal.” Doesn’t that mean that nothing matters? And if nothing matters, isn’t that depressing?_ All somethings are nothing, since they’re all imagined, and “nothing” is equal to “something.” Does anything matter? Yes, to the ego. But the fact that the ego believes it doesn’t make it real. Once you realize that you’re no one, you’re _thrilled_ that nothing matters. There’s so much freedom in that! The whole slate is wiped clean at every moment. It means that every new moment is a new beginning, where anything is possible. You also realize that the turnaround for that statement is equally true: everything matters. That’s just as thrilling as its opposite.” (Katie and Mitchell 2017, chap. 8, 80) “There aren’t two to take care of, or three, or four, or a billion. There’s only one. The relief of that! It’s enormous! “You mean there’s nothing to do? That if I’m okay, everything is okay?” Yes, that’s exactly it. It’s self-realization.” (Katie and Mitchell 2007, chap. 32, 92–93) ..., “Be Selfish!!, NDE 5-9-17”, 9 Jun 2017, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LpeEgDhR-Q. ..., “Who Are The Good Guys and Who Are The Bad Guys, NDE”, 2 Dec 2017, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_9T6md60Oc. “The world is your perception of it. Inside and outside ...” (Katie and Mitchell 2007, 182–183) “Until there’s peace within you, there is no peace in the world, because you are the world, you are the earth.” (Katie and Mitchell 2007, 198) “You are the cause of all the suffering that exists in this world.” (Katie and Wilhelm 2013) “The whole world is projected. When you’re shut down and frightened, the world seems hostile; when you love what is, everything in the world becomes the beloved. Inside and outside always match—they’re reflections of each other. The world is the mirror image of your mind.” (Katie and Mitchell 2007, chap. 1, 4) “The world you see is a reflection of how you see it. If your world is ugly or unfair, it’s because you haven’t questioned the thoughts that are making it appear that way. As your mind becomes clearer and kinder, your world becomes clearer and kinder. As your mind becomes beautiful, your world becomes beautiful.” (Katie and Mitchell 2017, chap. 10, 91) “__The Turnarounds__” (Katie and Mitchell 2021, 154) “As long as you think that the cause of your problem is “out there”—as long as you think that anyone or anything else is responsible for your suffering—the situation is hopeless.” (Katie and Mitchell 2021, 154) “The power of the turnaround lies in the discovery that everything you think you see on the outside is really a projection of your own mind. Everything is a mirror image of your own thinking.” (Katie and Mitchell 2021, chap. 5, 156–157) “The greatest gift you can give others is your realization that there is no self and no other.” (Katie and Mitchell 2017, chap. 24, 214) “But once he realizes the truth of it, all these imagined beings are set free, and in that the bodhisattva is enlightened. Sentient beings are here to serve the enlightenment of the bodhisattva, not the other way around. All beings are within the bodhisattva; it just seems as if they’re outside him. They are consistently and without interruption here to enlighten him.” “All beings are liberated through the enlightenment of the one who created them in the first place.” (Katie and Mitchell 2017, chap. 3, 24) “How can your suffering ever help anyone? The only thing that can help is for you to end your suffering.” (Katie and Mitchell 2017, chap. 3) “Whose business is it?” (Katie and Mitchell 2021, chap. 5, 145) “You can contribute to your mutual well-being by giving these five freedoms to yourself and your partner. In my brief marriage with Bonita, I made myself upset when she felt angry toward me. I now realize that my separate-self ego was not giving Bonita freedom to feel what she was feeling. I thought he anger meant something about me. I now know it was only her own programming that made her feel angry. I used to feel I should defend myself. I know now that it's OK for my partner to feel upset, critical, or whatever. And I've learned that my partner can get herself through these unpleasant emotions much quicker if I allow her the five freedoms and don't make her wrong for having them. And giving her these freedoms does not necessarily mean I agree with her.” (Keyes 1992, 45–46) “Every time you try to second-guess what someone else is thinking or feeling, every time you believe that you know what’s good or bad for them, you have moved out of your own business and into someone else’s.” (Katie and Katz 2005, 192) “__ASSERTIVE RIGHT III You have the right to judge whether you are responsible for finding solutions to other people’s problems.__” (Smith 1975, 49–53) “__ASSERTIVE RIGHT IV You have the right to change your mind.__” (Smith 1975, 53–54) “__ASSERTIVE RIGHT X You have the right to say, “I don't care.”__” (Smith 1975, 67–71) “___Responding with an Honest “No” to the Heartfelt Requests of Others___” (Katie and Jensen 2000, 167–168) “SELF-GROWTH YARDSTICKS” “ࠪDo I grant others their beingness?” (Lester 1962, 63) &&& &&& ___The undecaying (adj.)___ - “the undecaying” ““Monks, I will also teach you the undecaying and the path leading to the undecaying …” (..., _Unfabricated-Connected Asaṅkhata Saṁyutta (SN 43)_, 10 June 2026, https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/SN/SN43.html) Undecaying (adj.), deathless (adj.). “_You assure people that questioning is safe. But you also say that it’s necessary to lose everything. Isn’t that intimidating for most people?_ I can see how it might be intimidating. But are you really safe identifying as a body? As a body, isn’t it certain that all the people you love will eventually leave you or die, and that you’ll age, get sick, hurt in all kinds of ways, and at last die yourself? Is that “you” safe? So to lose your false identity is to gain everything. In the world of no self and no other, there is no suffering, no decay, no death, no falseness. It’s a world of pure beauty. It’s yours already, and it only waits to be realized.” (Katie and Mitchell 2017, chap. 9, 87) “As he dissolved the fear of death, he realized one day that his body was sound, healed. The physical impairment was corrected.” (Lloyd 1983, chap. 13, 82) “And in that three-month period of time, all the ailments I had in my physical body corrected.” (“Lester Levenson, Hale Dwoskin - Lester Levenson (Sedona Method) Magnum Opus PDF-Lester Levenson _ Sedona Method (2024).pdf”, 33) “I suggest that you not do The Work with the motive of healing your body. Go in for the love of truth.” (Katie and Mitchell 2017, chap. 20, 190) “Any motive other than the love of truth won’t work. It’s the truth that sets you free.” (Katie and Mitchell 2007, chap. 40, 121) “BK: The lie is the motive. You are not doing The Work to find Truth.” “The Truth is, “I will do anything to know the Truth and then whatever happens is not my business.”” (Katie 1996, chap. 4, 34) ““I’m going to get better as I do The Work”—if you have that as a motive, you can afford that hope, since it’s true that as you do The Work you do get better, until you catch up to your dear, wonderful self ....” (Katie and Mitchell 2017, chap. 9, 86–87) Am I undecaying? &&& ___Peaceful (adj.)___ - “peace” (..., _Unfabricated-Connected Asaṅkhata Saṁyutta (SN 43)_, 10 June 2026, https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/SN/SN43.html) Peaceful (adj.). “Love (= the Unmanifested) itself is not an emotion. It's a very, it's the quietest of all things.” (“Lester Levenson, Hale Dwoskin - Lester Levenson (Sedona Method) Magnum Opus PDF-Lester Levenson _ Sedona Method (2024).pdf”, 285) “What was beyond this incredible, joyous state that didn’t stop? He saw that it was peace, imperturbability ... and he realized with certainty that if he accepted it, if he decided to move into that peace, it would never, ever go away ... and he went ... slipped into it so effortlessly ... with just a decision to have it ... he was there. Everything was still. He was in a quietness that he now knew had always been there but drowned out by incessant noise from his accumulated, uncorrected past. In fact, it was more than quiet; it was so far beyond anything imaginable that there were no words to describe the delectable deliciousness of the tranquility. His earlier question about happiness was answered too. There were no limits to happiness, but when you have it all, every minute, it gets tiresome. Then this peace is just beyond ... and all you have to do is step over the line into it. “Is there anything beyond even this?” he wondered. But as he asked, he knew the answer. This peace was eternal and forever, and it was the essence of every living thing. There was only one Beingness and everything was It; every person was It, but they were without awareness of the fact, blinded by the uncorrected past they hold on to.” (Lloyd 1983, chap. 13, 83) “SELF-GROWTH YARDSTICKS” (Lester 1962, 63) “Am I completely at peace?” Am I (= “The little self, the ego, is nothing but the innate infinite Self assuming that It is limited.”) peaceful (= “quiet and calm; not worried or upset in any way”)? _Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary_, peaceful (adj.), sense 2, SYNONYM __tranquil__, 10 June 2026, https://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/definition/english/peaceful. _Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary_, peace (n.), sense 2, 10 June 2026, https://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/definition/english/peace. _Collins COBUILD Advanced Learner’s Dictionary_, peace (n.), sense 5, 10 June 2026, https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/peace. ^^^ ___Truth (n.)___ - “ultimate Truth” (Levenson 1993, 81) “__Question 1: Is it true?__” (Katie and Mitchell 2021, chap. 5, 143) “__Question 2: Can you absolutely know that it’s true?__” (Katie and Mitchell 2021, chap. 5, 145) “I recommend that people tell the truth because all stress is caused by lying.” (Blanton 1996, 53) “The kind of lying that is most deadly is withholding, or keeping back information from someone we think would be affected by it.” (Blanton 1996, xxv) “The Truth Changes” “Because of being lost in our own minds, we fail to recognize that the truth changes. When the truth changes and we fail to recognize what has _now_ become true, while holding on to the _idea_ of what used to be true, we become liars committing suicide.” (Blanton 1996, xxx) “I differentiate three phases, or levels, of telling the truth. These levels may occur successively, or simultaneously, or a person may master one or two levels and retreat from the next. ~~Often people retreat after encountering the frightening sense of freedom afforded by a breakthrough at a new level. Sometimes they try again later, sometimes not.~~ The three levels are: revealing the facts; honestly expressing current feelings and thoughts; and, finally, exposing the fiction you have devised to represent yourself and your history.” (Blanton 1996, 48–49) “The first level of telling the truth is to reveal the facts. It is a matter of clearing up lies from the past and the false presentation of self being maintained through withholding.” (Blanton 1996, 49) “The first level of this process is revealing deceptions and withholds” (Blanton 1996, 50) “She had [“a whole stack of” (Blanton 2005, 60)] compiled secrets and unfinished business with her father, her first husband, and her current husband.” (Blanton 1996, 51) “The second level of telling the truth is to begin to speak forth the emotional truth and the truth of one's judgments to reveal one's constantly active, secret mind. You begin here the practice of admitting how you feel when you feel it, speaking your secret judgments of others out loud, and constantly revealing your own petty and condescending ways.” (Blanton 1996, 54) (“You must get into the habit of restricting your thoughts to those that are such that if you were suddenly asked, “What are you thinking?” you could answer, frankly and without hesitation, “X” or “Y,” and it would immediately be clear from your reply that all your thoughts are guileless and kindly, the thoughts of a sociable¹¹ creature who disdains pleasurable or any kind of self-indulgent fantasies and is untouched by rivalry, malice, suspicion, or anything else that one would blush to admit one had in mind.” (Aurelius and Waterfield 2021, _Meditations_, chap. 3) “The act originates in the mind. Every negative thought, every bad thought we have creates karma that we don’t like and we call it bad karma. If people only knew this! It doesn’t matter whether we carry out the act or not. The seed is sown in the thought.” (Levenson 1993, 264–265)) “The second level of telling the truth, revealing the emotional and judgmental truth on a moment-by-moment basis, is damned hard work and it never ends. Therapy ends, but this work never ends. Therapy ends when the person takes over the task of telling the truth “steady as she goes,” as her own task and as her own alternative to manipulation.” (Blanton 1996, 55) “___Being Consistently Honest — Now___” (Katie and Jensen 2000, 166) “If you will look at it from your very own center, the words love, acceptance, identification, understanding, communication, truth, God, Self are all the same.” (Levenson 1993, 43, 122-124, 250-258; Keyes 1992, 2-11) “15. Honest Communication Exercises” (Katie and Jensen 2000, 162–169) “THE TWELVE PATHWAYS To the Higher Consciousness Planes” (Keyes 1975, 14–15) “INTERACTING WITH OTHERS” “7. I open myself genuinely to all people by being willing to fully communicate my deepest feeling, since hiding in any degree keeps me stuck in my illusion of separateness from other people.” (Keyes 1975, 15) “SELF-GROWTH YARDSTICKS” “ࠪAm I able to express myself clearly, freely, and truthfully?” (Lester 1962, 64) ““…—it’s a tree, is it true?” (Katie 1998, 158) “What we really believe is what we manifest. What we believe, we see. In other words, we cannot see what we don’t believe (= “to think that something is ___true___, correct, or real:”).” (…, 19 October 2025, https://rayhemachandra.com/2017/01/04/byronkatie/, https://archive.is/Wgbq2) ..., “How Authority Works - Where Does Truth Come From?”, 7 Jul 2019, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyzYKVL5CB0. https://www.actualized.org/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/leo-quote-why-self-deception-is-so-powerful-01.png “the act of deliberately making somebody believe something that is not true (= of deceiving them)” _Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary_, deception (n.), sense 1, 11 June 2026, https://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/definition/english/deception. &&& ___Quiet (adj.)___ - “_The all-quiet state_” - “stillness” (Tolle 1999, 115) - “imperturbability” (gains_workbook-sedona-method-release-technique-1992.pdf, 90) Quiet (adj.), quietness (n.), stillness (n.), imperturbability (n.). “_“The all-quiet state is such a tremendous state, that it can never be put into words. The words ecstasy, euphoria, bliss, nirvana don’t describe it really - they only allude to it.”_” (Levenson 1993, 279) “When your feelings are up and out, your mind is naturally quiet. And you're self-obvious to yourself as to the fact that you are whole, complete, perfect, eternal.” (“Lester Levenson, Hale Dwoskin - Lester Levenson (Sedona Method) Magnum Opus PDF-Lester Levenson _ Sedona Method (2024).pdf”, 394) See `summary.md` (https://pastebin.com/NP3rAur9). “I ought to re-define the word “meditation.” When I say meditation, I mean holding one thought to the exclusion of other thoughts, and that one thought should be a question. As other thoughts drop away the mind gets quiet and concentrated. When the mind is concentrated, you will experience your Self and It will answer any and every question. It will answer the questions that we need to have answered to show us the way out of the bondages. Now, in meditation, the moment you sit down to quiet the mind, it seems to get noisier, which is natural. The thoughts come up for us to drop, to let go of. And each time we let go of one, that’s one less that we have to let go of. And each time we let go of one, that’s one that we have to let go of. As time goes on and we keep dropping these thoughts, we have less and less to drop. Someday the mind becomes quiet enough so that we fully see this infinite Being that we are; and then in one lump sum, we drop all that is left. And when there are no more thoughts, we are free and there is left only our infinite Self.” (Levenson 1993, chap. 29) ““What am I?” is the very top question.” (Lester 1993, 287) “__Question 4: Who or what would you be without the thought?__” (Katie and Mitchell 2021, 153) “When the thoughts are quiet, the limitless Being is obvious. It’s Self-effulgent; it’s there all the time; it’s just covered over by thought concepts, every one of which is limited. So, the way is to pose the question “What am I?” and quietly await the answer. Other thoughts will come in, and the biggest difficulty is quieting these thoughts. When other thoughts come in, if we pose the question, “To whom are these thoughts?” the answer naturally is, “To me.” Then, “What am I?” puts us right back on the track again. That way we can continuously keep our attention on “What am I?”” (Levenson 1993, 118) “When you develop the ability to meditate (= jhanas), it leads you into the most beatific, blessed state; into nirvana, tranquility and serenity; into your quiet meditative state of knowing what you are - you, the real Being of the universe, being your infinite, glorious and magnificent Self.” (Levenson 1993, 289) “__Interpretations of the Jhanas__” (..., 10 June 2026, https://www.leighb.com/jhanantp.htm) “In teaching the eightfold path, the Buddha defined right concentration to be the jhānas.” (Brasington 2015, Preface) ““And this, monks, is the noble truth of the way of practice leading to the cessation of stress: precisely this noble eightfold path—right view, right resolve, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, right concentration.4” (..., _Setting the Wheel of Dhamma in Motion Dhammacakkappavattana Sutta (SN 56:11)_, 10 June 2026, https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/SN/SN56_11.html) “SELF-GROWTH YARDSTICKS” “Am I completely free from reacting to people's wishes and thoughts?” “Am I disturbed?” (Lester 1962, 64) “Another portal into the Unmanifested is created through the cessation of thinking.” (Tolle 1999, 111) &&& ___Stillness (n.)___ - “stillness” - “immovable” (Katie and Katz 2005, chap. 12, 245; Katie and Mitchell 2017, chap. 4, 32) Still (adj.), immovable (adj.). (Carse 2005, _Perfect Brilliant_ ___Stillness___ _: Beyond the Individual Self_.) “The only requisite for the realization of the Self, your Self, is stillness.” (Lester 1993, 352) “The Self is Quiescence, perfect Awareness with perfect Stillness. He who seeks God will not find God in duality. There is no human, God being All. There is no time, no becoming. There is no creating in total perfection. Only God beholds God, there being nothing else. Only God loves God, God being All. Be still and know that you are God!” (Levenson 1993, 353) &&& ___Witness (n.)___ - “witness” (Levenson 1993, 118), “observer” (Levenson 1993, 262) “_witnesses claimed that he started the fight_: observer, onlooker, eyewitness, spectator, viewer, watcher; bystander, passer-by.” (_Oxford Paperback Thesaurus (4 ed.)_, witness (n.), sense 1, 11 June 2026, https://www.oxfordreference.com/view/10.1093/acref/9780199640959.001.0001/t-en_gb-msthes-00019-0015167) Witness (n.), observer (n.). “__BE NOT THE DOER__ In addition to posing this question until we get the answer, it is good practice in our daily life to be not the doer, be not the agent. Just be the witness! Acquire the “It is not I but the Father who worketh through me” attitude (which several in this group already have). This is the main conduct of life that we should strive for. The more we become the witness in life, the more we become non-attached to the body, the more we are our real Self. So, there are two things I’m suggesting, one is the quest “What am I?” and the second is, in life itself, be not the doer; be the witness. Let things happen; allow life to be. That’s the way we are in the top state, and the best behavior in life is that which is characteristic of the top state. There are many other things which I’m sure you are aware of: humbleness, goodness, kindness, honesty, etc. All these things help, but the greatest aid is to be not the doer - but be the witness.” (Levenson 1993, 118–119) “When I say, “Be the witness.” that is still in the realm of duality, witnessing the duality, but it’s a giant step forward. It’s a method of letting go of the ego sense of being the doer.” (Levenson 1993, 262–263) &&& References - Spira 2022, _You Are the Happiness You Seek_. - Zinbarg et al. 2006, _Mastery of Your Anxiety and Worry: Therapist Guide_. - Burns 2020, _Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety_. - Katie 1996, _What To Do When Nothing Works: The Manual For The Work_. - Weber 1996, _A Cry in the Desert: The Awakening of Byron Katie_. - Katie 1998, _Losing the Moon: Byron Katie Dialogues on Non-Duality, Truth and Other Illusions_. - Katie and Jensen 2000, _All War Belongs on Paper: The Manual for the Work of Byron Katie_. - Katie and Katz 2005, _I Need Your Love-- Is That True? How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead_. - Katie and Mitchell 2007, _A Thousand Names for Joy: Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are_. - Katie and Mitchell 2007, _Question Your Thinking, Change the World: Quotations from Byron Katie_. - Katie and Wilhelm 2013, _A Friendly Universe: Sayings to Inspire and Challenge You_. - Katie and Mitchell 2017, _A Mind at Home with Itself: How Asking Four Questions Can Free Your Mind, Open Your Heart, and Turn Your World Around_. - Katie and Mitchell 2021, _Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life_. - Lester, Frank (= Levenson, Lester) 1962, _The Eternal Verities_, https://archive.org/details/franklesterlesterlevensontheeternalverities2. - Lloyd 1983, _Choose Freedom: Have, Be, and Do Whatever You Will or Desire_, , https://archive.org/details/choose_freedom. - Levenson 1993, _Keys to the Ultimate Freedom: Thoughts and Talks on Personal Transformation_, https://archive.org/details/keys-to-the-ultimate-freedom-thoughts-and-talks-on-personal-transformation-leste. - Keyes 1992, _The Power of Unconditional Love: 21 Guidelines for Beginning, Improving, and Changing Your Most Meaningful Relationships_. - Smith 1975, _When I Say No, I Feel Guilty_. - Blanton 2005, _Radical Honesty_. - Tolle 1999, _The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment_. - “Lester Levenson, Hale Dwoskin - Lester Levenson (Sedona Method) Magnum Opus PDF-Lester Levenson _ Sedona Method (2024).pdf” - ““The abundance course - Crane, Lawrence;Levenson, Lester, 1909-.pdf””, https://archive.org/details/abundancecourse00cran. - Leo Gura, _Actualized.org_, “Outrageous Experiments In Consciousness - 30 Awakenings In 30 Days”, 19 Apr 2020, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnn0IU0-atg. - Leo Gura, _Actualized.org_ “Guided Exercise For Realizing You Are God”, 29 November 2020, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdWxdhEB19s. - Allan Silberhartz and Byron Katie, _bridgingheaven_, “Bridging Heaven & Earth Show # 67 with Byron Katie and Kate Wolf”, 31 August 2025, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwUwJgRBMcw. - …, “Byron Katie - Spiritual Teaching - Turn it Around - Documentary Film (Formless Art Production)”, 5 April 2025, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-vBAEcjmTI. - Shar Jason, _Shar Jason | Awakening to Wholeness_, “Aloneness is a Portal to Oneness”, 30 Jan 2025, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8IIsPeUMhk. - Yvonne Ballard, _Naya's Corner of the Universe_, “Be Selfish!!, NDE 5-9-17”, 9 Jun 2017, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LpeEgDhR-Q - Yvonne Ballard, _Naya's Corner of the Universe_, “Who Are The Good Guys and Who Are The Bad Guys, NDE”, 2 Dec 2017, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_9T6md60Oc. - Leo Gura, _Actualized.org_, “Who Are The Good Guys and Who Are The Bad Guys, NDE”, 2 Dec 2017, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_9T6md60Oc. - Leo Gura, _Actualized.org_, “How Authority Works - Where Does Truth Come From?”, 7 Jul 2019, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyzYKVL5CB0. - Leo Gura, _Actualized.org_, “Is Solipsism True ? - The Ultimate Guide To Solipsism”, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBSy8fetfDI, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTHef1NvBRw, https://www.bitchute.com/video/1HSdG8vnx6Qu/ - Leo Gura, _Actualized.org_, “Why Truth Is The Highest Value”, 8 Sept 2025, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvNGha_g2U4. - https://web.archive.org/web/20250526152359/https://thework.com/2015/09/when-they-criticize-2/. - https://www.dhammatalks.org/books/OnThePath/Section0006.html. - ..., 10 June 2026, https://rupertspira.com/watch-listen/archive/the-screen-that-lies-behind-the-movie/the-screen-that-lies-behind-the-movie/. - “gains_workbook-sedona-method-release-technique-1992.pdf” - ..., 11 June 2026, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exposure_therapy#Inhibitory_learning. - ..., _Unfabricated-Connected Asaṅkhata Saṁyutta (SN 43)_, 10 June 2026, https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/SN/SN43.html. - ..., _Setting the Wheel of Dhamma in Motion Dhammacakkappavattana Sutta (SN 56:11)_, 10 June 2026, https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/SN/SN56_11.html. - …, 19 October 2025, https://rayhemachandra.com/2017/01/04/byronkatie/, https://archive.is/Wgbq2. - Leigh Brasington, _Leigh Brasington's Web Site_, 10 June 2026, https://www.leighb.com/jhanantp.htm. - Keyes 1975, _Handbook to Higher Consciousness_. - Brasington 2015, _Right Concentration: A Practical Guide to the Jhanas_.

I’ve listened to hundreds of hours of Osho. He is not some hermetically sealed philosophical system. He frequently changed opinions, contradicted himself and is even often asked why he does so. He wasn’t a teacher of God realization, so expecting him to be an expert in it doesn’t make sense. He was teaching love, dismantling toxic shame, etc… plus, I really think Osho’s vibe was more important than his words as I recall him saying. He taught spiritual freedom, love, joy, bliss, forms of spiritual wisdom, peace…. Not God. I don’t recall him speaking on God that much. Also that one video is by no means his final verdict on God. So, no need to steel man his words I’m sure he isn’t rolling in his grave.

@aurum No the end goal is staring at a screen just feeling one emotion. You experiencing anything other than the emotion of bliss is showing you something you need to work on. Because you arent in control of any of it happening to you, until you realize you are. When you realize you are you just pick the best one.

I'm here blasting some music just contemplating how fucking amazing it is, whether it is a solipsistic dream or not, doesn't make a difference to how vivid I am currently experiencing it. I recommend heart chakra meditation 'yam' mantra yamm.......yam..... Open your heart, and become more in touch with the love power of the universe. take some ecstasy or something if meditation isn't good enough for you. I've had some wonderful interactions with people these last few months, made friends, and I intend to keep going in the pursuit of following my bliss in this life. And i hope you can too

It seems to me that you use a bunch of clever sounding words to make your point seem more valid. I would partially agree to your point that your consciousness affects your body. When you are relaxed you can detect less stress in the body, you age slower etc. But there are hard limits on that. Even if you live in bliss and belief you dont need food and can live off the sun, you will still starve if you eat nothing. And I belief such a basic survival function of the body like the renewal of semen cant be changed by doing nofap. Humans are tool users. We hunt with traps, spears and other tools and then cook the meat. From this of course its not a natural instinct for us to bite a sheep in its neck There never was a period in human evolution where we only ate plants. Arguing for a mostly fruit based diet vs a complete fruit based diet is a big difference Just because some of the modern foods werent natural for us doesnt nesseccarily mean they arent good for us now. We adapted to cooked food. Dogs are carni-omnivores now, they can digest plants pretty well because they needed to adapt Btw. modern fruit is anything but natural. We breeded the shit out of it Are there any tribes or villages who only consume fruit and are health nuts? What I take away so far is that fruit has quite a lot of nutrients and is one option for the bulk of your calories. And also there might be something to living/ vibrating food over dead processed food which western science cant capture and fruit seems to be the best option to get that. Only fruit seems pretty risky though and people fall for all kind of ideologie, they can starve with a smile on their face, thinking they are living healthy.

Technical: Bodyweight: 140lbs, 6ft Dosage: 75-125ug LSD+5.6g Dried Mushroom Tea Setting: Apartment Room/Solo Mindset: Curious. Grateful. Non-judgemental. Excited. Felt "clean" and ready. However life still has "problems". Trouble at work as well. Financial/medical bill troubles too. Intention: After trying both individually multiple times, I was wanting to explore the combination of the two substances and their potential synergy Summary: 7:00pm 5 hours fasted, 1 tab sublingual 7:50pm dancing in a dream 9:15pm drink mushroom tea 11:30pm? clown therapy 9:00am wake up next day Part 1 (Ingestion/Onset) Weighed and readied the ingredients for mushroom tea on standby in the kitchen. Started a fire in my fireplace (I'm lucky to have this). Turned off all the lights and closed the curtains. Sat cross-legged on my bed with my back supported. Placed 1 gel tab under tongue. 50 minutes of quiet waiting. Sudden grin/laughter... -We're back -We're so back -Crying/heaving/screaming into the pillow -Become a child/elderly again (was always one) -Looked at a photo of my ex and I together and said "I forgive you/I love you" over and over -Played Lemmino music on speakers (best music ever) -Danced like I never danced before (made up some new moves?) -Each step by my feet and each breath is an orgasm -Appreciate the art and paintings on my walls -Sat with legs bent on carpet, start hallucinate. Carpet and room is alive (moderate hallucinate) -Went into kitchen, put together the ingredients and made mushroom tea (5.67g psychedelic mushroom) with ginger, cardamom, clove, cinnamon, and caffeine-free tea bag strained twice (almost couldn't find the strainer, that was funny!) -Start referring to myself in 3rd person, depersonalization occurring -Drank tea slowly at 9:15pm ish -Got a little sad thinking about certain aspects of "my" life (past relationship, struggling porn/phone addiction, societal "problems" of the "world", etc) (sidenote: did I dream the world's problems?) -As I sip the tea, I feel its alien nature flowing down my throat. What a mysterious thing it is to drink a thing (I drink myself??) -I breath, becoming more and more aware of my "aliveness" -I finish the tea and head back to my bedroom to sit. Answers arise... -Sexuality is a part of your nature. DO NOT DENY IT, BUT PRACTICE IT IN A HEALTHY WAY --Took all the "evil" in the world and tossed it in the trashcan (EVERYTHING IS GOOD WITH A CAPITAL G) -There is no other (duh) (and it's fucking hilarious!) Part 2 (Peak) -I BREATH -ALIVENESS is ALWAYS and is peak bliss/pleasure -I think about the alternate then--death (what is it then?) -FUCK THE DEAD (METAPHORICALLY AND LITERALLY) -When EACH BREATH IS THE HIGHEST ORGASM, EACH ONE IS AN ACT OF CREATION (Nothing else compares) -Getting tired, I stop sitting and lay on mattress and look up at ceiling. I raise the hand to the ceiling and it touched! -Hand transforms into primitive mammalian devil hand (it's alien/mysterious) (it's the Hand of God) -Close eyes and have moderate/heavy hallucinations. See infinite little RAINDBOW/INFINITE COLOR SPECTRUM "octopus clowns" splaying their hands forward to me in a prayer like/loving fashion and saying "here you go, this is it, see?". I UNDERSTAND. They touch my mind and it's another ERUPTION of orgasmic bliss **side note: if the reader is curious and would like an approximate visual of what they looked like, search up "mr.creepypasta the showers" on google and it is the thumbnail for the video uploaded on may 22nd. Now imagine that but with infinite rainbow colored octopus tentacles emerging from behind and all around it** -THE MIND/EGO OF "ME" AND GOD (AS A TALL CLOWN/JESTER THERAPIST) TALK IN A ROOM (As I eavesdrop on this talk from outside the door, I see that this tall clown is also, in fact, a demon, and beautiful as fuck) -LITTLE CLOWNS CLOSE THE DOOR (THEY ALL HAVE "JOBS" THAT ARE MOMENTARY, BUT THEY ARE ALL IMPORTANT/GODLY) (THEY LAUGH) I stand up, somehow naked, and see the mess of my room I made. I "tell" me to clean my room. I ask "why clean?" Answer "because all these things are YOU, and YOU deserve to be treated with respect" Oh silly me, of course... The blanket and I have a 1 on 1 therapy session. I love this blanket (SIDE NOTE: WTF IS A BLANKET??) I finally find my PJs and turn of the lights and lay on my bed under blankets in fetal. It feels SOOO GOOOD. You close your eyes and see infinity. Questions arise that become more and more distilled: What is (blank)? What is this? What is? Is? Answer: IS. (Possible answer to everything as far as language allows. THE NATURE OF IS AND THE ANSWER TO IT IS, IS) PERIOD. ON THE PERIOD HINGES LIFE/ORGASM AND GESTURED TO IT BY A LITTLE CLOWN HAHA Why doing? Answer: No doing, only BEING BE. PERIOD. ON THE PERIOD HINGES LIFE/ORGASM AND GESTURED TO BY A LITTLE CLOWN HAHA But then what is to be? Being means to live as fully in the moment and as authentically as you can. It means to be infinitely creative and not copying/mirroring others but rather being YOU. Being YOU/I means to go an unbeaten path. To live your original story however it unfolds. This story is a dream and a loving gift. It is a loving gift because what else is there? There is infinity and there is emptiness/NOTHINGNESS. Both are the same thing in a twisted way. So if you ask, why is there something? But there isn't. And at the same time there is. Going further beyond this is possible but also infinitely mysterious and forever unknown. God can keep understanding itself but never FULLY (because it can keep understanding itself infinitely). It's like...imagine you are hiking up an infinitely tall mountain. Every couple of miles, you stop and look down and you say, "oh wow, so that's what it looks like". But as you keep hiking higher and higher (assuming no end), you can look down and say that every time, again and again. Your understanding can grown higher and higher, and deeper and deeper as you rest at each checkpoint and look back. But it'll never be fully complete because: 1. You are in a form (a human) and therefore only have so many years to live and understand 2. The mountain is infinite, so hypothetically even if you could live forever (which no form will), even then you can still keep hiking up and looking down/understanding, forever and ever. Infinitely. THIS IS NOT WRONG OR BAD. THIS IS PRECISELY THE NATURE OF GOD AND HOW THINGS ARE. IT CAN BE NO OTHER WAY/NO OTHER CONFIGURATION. Any other configuration would not make sense. Infinity is boundless and the universe is thus boundless. Boundless and also made of LOVE (more on that later) Part 3 (Comedown) -FETAL POSITION and I create and perform Spooky Belly Dancing (inspired by the fire earlier!) -I also accidentally invent a new yoga pose (the Possessed Corpse Extension Orgasm Pose) (flex those abdominals and extend the neck!) -The dance that was earlier done on the come-up was very "therapeutic". Perhaps dance (uninhibited), can be a form of going meta/knowing GOD and healing (along with self inquiry, meditation, yoga, psychedelics) -Let's call it DANCE THERAPY! (maybe this already exists haha but who cares) -I close the eyes -I DROOL -RAINBOW/INFINITE-COLOR SPECTRUM OCTOPUS CLOWNS (THEY ARE DEMONS AND THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL, DEAL WITH IT) -In fact, EVERYONE/EVERYTHING has a song and it is BEAUTIFUL! -I sleep -I wake at around 9am Thank YOU for reading, and may YOUR song never end

Sunday: May 31st, 2026. Stupidity as lack of consciousness is distinct from ignorant bliss.

Friday: May 29th, 2026. Ecstasy even in severe depression is distinct from ignorant bliss.

@Eskilon orgasm is so desired, in my opinion, because it is the ultimate single pointed focus. Where the focus is so dialed in, and the quality of focus so high, it feels as a state of pure bliss. Pure being. One mind. I've had several meditation sessions where I have experienced total and utter single pointed focus. And DAMN. It feels exactly like and orgasm. Exactly! But I have trouble reaching that state unless I am on holidays or have been practicing for more than two or so hours a day.

My first mushrooms trip I cried and released repressed truma it was great! But I've had truma after it. Neighbors that made me paranoid. That’s why I feel like I can’t handle mushrooms. They’ve been gone for six years and whenever I smoke weed, I feel like they’re coming after me. I don’t wanna do mushrooms to trip. I want to have that release again not for bliss but for clense.

Great substance combination, I really recommend it. Lots of similarities to MDMA, even better and more conscious, although not so chemically direct with Love, but you can get directly through the state of consciousness it puts you in, if you know what you're doing. Great experience, very nice feelings and state of consciousness, one of my best trips ever. The awakenings were profound and good, but it was more on the aesthetics and personality of this combination what made me fall in love. The chemist that thought this combination in this proportion, knew what he was doing. Bad effects, you may need magnesium to make the experience milder. Also if in the middle of the experience you notice your mind losing sharpness and becoming a bit sloppy, means you need to drink or ingest some light food to keep going. Jaw tension a bit uncomfortable but less than with MDMA. Overall, words fail to describe the fullness of the experience itself, so if you can get this combo I recommend it and see for yourself.

To be embodied and awake... Now that's bliss.

Thinking about God will heal you. Thinking about Gods total love for you will heal your soul. Men are supposed to cry. Crying = releasing attached neurons. You see God you are dying, your neurons are detaching, you are going away and you cant stop yourself from crying. Humans are made to cry because they have memory. Crying is getting rid of that. Thats why you cry when your loved one dies. You are releasing memory. When you see God you will cry alot as you are deleting yourself in real time. Next time you cry do it as hard as you can. Literally put so much pressure on your brain it will feel like its going to explode. After you are done you will say I dont even know where I am. If you figure out how to stop thinking your brain will automatically start silencing the ego. This will make you cry automatically randomly. It will feel really good and you feel Gods love. Now you are in bliss as you ride the wave of life constantly forgetting you exist over and over and crying cause of God.

I think about 9 months unintentionally. I never really counted, i never do it mentally as a task or duty anymore, I tried to do a few times like that and felt like I am forcing nature to be a certain way and felt like suppression rather than a achievement. These days I simply allow my being to be, otherwise it backfires when my animal needs to express its forces. Suppressed sexual energy is one of the leading causes of health issues and that eventually develops into diseases people suffer from today, especially mental issues and perversion. I never really noticed much of a difference in semen retention / no fap, i think its more mere belief, my consciousness remains the same regardless if i release 7x a week or once a year. At most i feel a little fatigued and drained when I prematurely release or too often, but when I circulate energy well, that even if i release i feel quite blissfull and energized and not drained or fatigued at all. Sometimes i go into a trance-like bliss for a while after a good orgasm which seems beneficial for my mind and body than it feels like a waste. I did get angry a few times after releasing, not sure i can blame it totally on expelling my juices. I think it was more to do with not being in total alignment with the act and not attending to what i truly needed. I think the point is for the bodies energy system to be circulating the divine nectar within, rather than suppressing or retaining it. Then even if you release some here and there, it doesn't drain or affect you, cause your river is flowing strong and generous In some conditions the need for sex eventually disappears and celibacy can arise, but its not something you choose to do like most people on the internet today trying to spiritually supercharge themselves from an egoic standpoint. I think this is counter-intuitive to nature and what is natural. These last few years I've been more expressive with women, but there was a point where I was completely satisfied on all levels that even the thought of sex or being with a woman was too much, but this was when i was devoting my energy to god, truth, spiritually 24/7, i was ready to die for it, so i did, in a way. Nowadays i feel i am dancing more in the middle6plane, sometimes i dance with women, someones i feel no need to, sometimes i masturbate, sometimes I lose the urge altogether and feel this is childish and unsatisfying. Who knows, life is a dance, a play, ever-changing. Every moment is anew ~

That can happen and has happened to me in the past, and again as i mentioned above, many in this field say its related to a very toxic body that had little to no preparations beforehand like cleansing with juices and herbs and gradually weaning off the heavy foods / oils for a while (at least a few weeks beforehand), so when you enter a fast most of the toxins and obstructions have been cleared, or at least softened, and then a fast becomes far easier. At the same time it has a lot to do with our mental state and belief about it, if we are not inspired, trusting, passionate and positively polarized to do such a thing, your mind will often make your experience hell, and sometimes even 12 days it holds on because the ego is too strong. I experienced this too, so i work to soften the ego first and paired with fruit / veg juice cleansing and herbal assistance, or at least try be on only fruit and veg for a week or two beforehand and taking herbal binders to catch and broom out the toxins so they don't wreck you when they come out. When done right, a fast feels like the most serene experience, especially after the first 3 - 5 days (usually the more challenging days), that you'd trade over any psychedelic experience, because its a sustained feeling of freedom and bliss that feels very natural and can be carried long term, especially if you don't go back to old ways and habits. Its also wise to be in a supportive environment and set / setting when fasting. Even the phone and screen-time needs to go temporarily that will drain you, otherwise its merely a partial fast, and lesser than ideal. Being in nature helps a lot. Hope this helps.

Spiritual Autolysis Journal Entry #82 ~ Thu May 21 '26 ~ 10:42 PM I just finished watching 13 Reasons Why, season 1. This is a show that I come back to every few years.. but only season 1, the other seasons are atrocious and the people that made the next 3 seasons should be ashamed of themselves. Anyways... Hannah baker kills herself, that's what the shows about, she kills herself and she records these tapes that describe the 13 reasons why she kills herself. Each tape describes a certain person and a specific circumstance that leads to her demise. The interesting thing is yes a lot of shitty things happen to her, but she starts to curve into the unfortunateness of her life, as if she now wants the tragedy, she doesn't want her life to get better, her mind is somehow finding a way to enjoy the misery of it all. What an absolute mind fuck this is. And this is actually how the mind operates ( I believe.) Anyways.. the other thing I noticed is her self image starts to deteriorate because of all of the rumors going around the school about her, she is called a slut mostly which is completely underserved and messed up, she is called crazy, etc... but this, all of this is an image inside of her own head. She is driving herself insane with a fake image, a fabricated image of what people think about her. And guess what, the other people around here are also fabricated. Hold on a minute ben... What do you mean by that, the other characters are real characters, they are real people, real organisms, they're not fake. Oh yes they are. You just said the self image is a fabrication, therefore they're self image is also fake. The only thing real is pure awareness. That's pure awareness for me, for you, for everyone, etc.... pure awareness is all that there is. There is no separation between church and state, between human to human, between black and white, between computer and bed, between sheet and mattress, it's all pure awareness, pure consciousness, whatever the fuck you want to call it.. and these images that you have of people, they're not real. Your image of somebody else is also a fabrication, it's NOT what they truly are. Do you see that? I know you see it but we have to get you to experience it. That is what you're missing and that is what Peter Ralstons books will help you with. Do something with your mind. It is completely running the show right now. But it doesn't matter actually. The problem in a real tangible sense is that your vision doesn't match.... Hold on a minute. It doesn't matter what you're doing. Nothing fuckin matters. Literally nothing. Whatever your vision is is what you're gonna get. If you want that then go get it. You can have it. If you want that, you can have that too. Stop worrying. Get your head out of your ass. Whatever to envision is what you will have. But I want englithenment. Give me enlightenment! Set my life up for enlightenment. Not girls. I don't give a fuck about girls. Truly I don't. I'll just have some nice casual sex with anyone as I just focus on my craft. I want to be an amazing dancer because this is what I've decided to be passionate about. You know why? Because of inspire me to be a better person, to reach for greater heights. And it pushes me every fuckin day. Every. Fuckin. Day. But I really do want Truth. And I want it soon. I want it within a year. Do you think I can do that? Yes, but you'd need to take time away from other things. Like what? Like competing. Stop worrying about competing. And most importantly stop worrying about girls. Sex will come to you when you're ready for it. You don't like sex that much. You don't. You'd rather do other things. That's awesome! Sex is not that important! That's a good thing that you don't salivate over it. Of course, I used to. Now I'm much more chill because I'm older and I can handle my business and I can stick up for myself. Cuz I'm that fuckin guy. And everybody's that guy. I fuck with everyone. But I can beat your ass. That's the mentality of a masculine man. I don't care what you think of me. There's nothing you can say that is going to hurt me. Aidos Lower Self: I am pure awareness. The Truth is pure awareness. Higher self: So this means pure awareness is everywhere and everything? Without boundaries? Lower self: What do you mean? What are boundaries? Higher Self: Boundaries are what keeps things inside. Inside a glass bowl. Lower self: Do I need the glass bowl? Higher Self: You tell me. Do you need it? Lower self: Yeah... As a matter of fact I do. If I break the glass bowl then I will die. And guess what I don't wanna die. Why don't you want to die? What's wrong with dying? Dying is awful, it's cruel, it's monstrous. Why though? Why are you afraid of it? Like really. What is there to be afraid of? What could you possibly lose? You are NO ONE. But I am somebody. I'm Ben. I m fuckin Ben. They know me by Ben. And they give a fuck about what goes on in my life. Do they really though. And who are they? Right now they're just a picture in your head. What does that tell you? Riddle me that. It tells me that I am on planet earth and I am a man. And I don't want to go to sleep. I can't deal with this abstract bull shit. I'm a human. I'm a little ass human that can't handle anything. That's why I need comfort. I crave comfort. And seeing people and meeting people is the death of me. I hate meeting new girls. Because they scare me. And I know I'll probably fall in love with one of them and then they'll break my heart or I'll break hers. And then we'll both be sad. So like what's the point? What's the point of dating if I'm just gonna get heartbroken? You're triggered. What do you want? Would you like to stay triggered. Or would you like to get out of that head space.... Because you can get out of it if you want. If you want to continue to punish yourself, then you do that as well. You do you man. You do you. Okay now give me something that's true. But give me something new. I've tried a bite out of the pure awareness muffin and it was tasty, don't get it twisted. But now we've got to move onto greater pastures and greater heights. Consciousness is all that there is. Okay, I've heard that one before, that means it must be worth a listen, right? Yes, that's exactly what that means, just follow the herd. And don't look back. Whatever man, let's take a look at what consciousness is, shall we... It is everything. It is everything. At times I start freaking out. I can't help it. I think that Im dying. Why don't you get closer to death. Seriously. Get even closer. No! I'm scared! I don't wanna die! And you're scaring me now. What are you scared of ? You're a grown ass man. You can handle fuckin' business. Yeah but not death. You're asking me to confront death.. see you don't understand what it's like to be in my shoes. If my father died, I would be at peace with it. If my mother died, I would be at peace. What if you're sister got raped and killed? And the guy was your best friend? Could you accept reality if that's what happened? What about the rape of Nanking, what if you were one of the girls being raped over and over again? What does it feel like to get raped? What do you think it feels like. Try to imagine it. It would feel like I have no control. I have to surrender no matter what. Is this what's its like to get fucked? What about you though, you are doing the fucking, aren't you? What does that feel like? It feels like I'm the man because my dick is inside of her. I am implanting my seed into the Earth, or at least that's how it feels. But I am afraid of sex. I have to be SOOOOO comfortable with someone for me to actually have sex with them . My true nature is that of Spirit. My Spirit will forever live on as my body decays and dies. I don't have my own life right now, that's what is not ideal right now because I'm living at my mom's house AND I can't leave the house whenever I want, that's what's frustrating. At the same time, the time off that I've gotten has been an absolute gift from the Universe. I have figured out so many things in my life and I really look forward to seeing how these things get integrated when I go back to work and business as usual. The biggest thing that I've realized is that I want to be Truth realized. I just want Truth, without a fuckin' doubt. And I'm working towards that while also letting go, as to not allow myself to make myself feel guilty for this or for that. Allow the Universe to take you on a ride. Another thing that happened to me last night; so I was up late, eating snacks and not sleeping. I took an edible and whenever I do that, I go down a path where I am slouched in my bed and on my phone for HOURS. I try not to use any electronics past 11 pm, but sometimes I just don't care enough and. I don't abide by that rule. It's important not to force yourself,remember you're not really in control because there's no one there to Be in control, see that? Anyways, I cant wait to start stacking money by using Doordash. I think I can be really strategic with it and get the job done. It's hard to focus on Truth when I'm stressed out about survival. Like I have no fuckin money and I'm afraid that I'm not going to be able to pay my rent. Is this every going to go away? Honestly, probably not, unless I can change my paradigm surrounding it. This might be started by reading "It's not about the money" which takes a look at the different archetypes of financial mindsets. For example, there's the saver, always saving, or the penny pincher, always pinching pennies no matter how wealthy he is. The truth that we believe about the universe is just a hunch. Without a direct experience into the nature of reality, nothing is proven, nothing is known. You are in a state of not- knowing because you truly do not know. If you did know then you wouldnt be asking. You wouldn't be writing in this journal. So... What is Truth? What is it? Truth is consciousness. Just consciousness. Which equates to awareness. Which equates to live. Love? What does love have to do with anything? Love is just an emotion. Then why do I feel a sense of Love during times of peace and bliss. There is no other word for it. It's Love. It's Absolute love. When you can turn off your brain, you experience a state of Love. I experienced a state of Love. I just did a 20 minute meditation session and oh my God my mind is ridiculously stubborn. It does not want to sit still. And I came out of that session feeling the best I've felt in days. Meditation is CRUCIAL.