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I think about 9 months unintentionally. I never really counted, i never do it mentally as a task or duty anymore, I tried to do a few times like that and felt like I am forcing nature to be a certain way and felt like suppression rather than a achievement. These days I simply allow my being to be, otherwise it backfires when my animal needs to express its forces. Suppressed sexual energy is one of the leading causes of health issues and that eventually develops into diseases people suffer from today, especially mental issues and perversion. I never really noticed much of a difference in semen retention / no fap, i think its more mere belief, my consciousness remains the same regardless if i release 7x a week or once a year. At most i feel a little fatigued and drained when I prematurely release or too often, but when I circulate energy well, that even if i release i feel quite blissfull and energized and not drained or fatigued at all. Sometimes i go into a trance-like bliss for a while after a good orgasm which seems beneficial for my mind and body than it feels like a waste. I did get angry a few times after releasing, not sure i can blame it totally on expelling my juices. I think it was more to do with not being in total alignment with the act and not attending to what i truly needed. I think the point is for the bodies energy system to be circulating the divine nectar within, rather than suppressing or retaining it. Then even if you release some here and there, it doesn't drain or affect you, cause your river is flowing strong and generous In some conditions the need for sex eventually disappears and celibacy can arise, but its not something you choose to do like most people on the internet today trying to spiritually supercharge themselves from an egoic standpoint. I think this is counter-intuitive to nature and what is natural. These last few years I've been more expressive with women, but there was a point where I was completely satisfied on all levels that even the thought of sex or being with a woman was too much, but this was when i was devoting my energy to god, truth, spiritually 24/7, i was ready to die for it, so i did, in a way. Nowadays i feel i am dancing more in the middle6plane, sometimes i dance with women, someones i feel no need to, sometimes i masturbate, sometimes I lose the urge altogether and feel this is childish and unsatisfying. Who knows, life is a dance, a play, ever-changing. Every moment is anew ~

That can happen and has happened to me in the past, and again as i mentioned above, many in this field say its related to a very toxic body that had little to no preparations beforehand like cleansing with juices and herbs and gradually weaning off the heavy foods / oils for a while (at least a few weeks beforehand), so when you enter a fast most of the toxins and obstructions have been cleared, or at least softened, and then a fast becomes far easier. At the same time it has a lot to do with our mental state and belief about it, if we are not inspired, trusting, passionate and positively polarized to do such a thing, your mind will often make your experience hell, and sometimes even 12 days it holds on because the ego is too strong. I experienced this too, so i work to soften the ego first and paired with fruit / veg juice cleansing and herbal assistance, or at least try be on only fruit and veg for a week or two beforehand and taking herbal binders to catch and broom out the toxins so they don't wreck you when they come out. When done right, a fast feels like the most serene experience, especially after the first 3 - 5 days (usually the more challenging days), that you'd trade over any psychedelic experience, because its a sustained feeling of freedom and bliss that feels very natural and can be carried long term, especially if you don't go back to old ways and habits. Its also wise to be in a supportive environment and set / setting when fasting. Even the phone and screen-time needs to go temporarily that will drain you, otherwise its merely a partial fast, and lesser than ideal. Being in nature helps a lot. Hope this helps.

Spiritual Autolysis Journal Entry #82 ~ Thu May 21 '26 ~ 10:42 PM I just finished watching 13 Reasons Why, season 1. This is a show that I come back to every few years.. but only season 1, the other seasons are atrocious and the people that made the next 3 seasons should be ashamed of themselves. Anyways... Hannah baker kills herself, that's what the shows about, she kills herself and she records these tapes that describe the 13 reasons why she kills herself. Each tape describes a certain person and a specific circumstance that leads to her demise. The interesting thing is yes a lot of shitty things happen to her, but she starts to curve into the unfortunateness of her life, as if she now wants the tragedy, she doesn't want her life to get better, her mind is somehow finding a way to enjoy the misery of it all. What an absolute mind fuck this is. And this is actually how the mind operates ( I believe.) Anyways.. the other thing I noticed is her self image starts to deteriorate because of all of the rumors going around the school about her, she is called a slut mostly which is completely underserved and messed up, she is called crazy, etc... but this, all of this is an image inside of her own head. She is driving herself insane with a fake image, a fabricated image of what people think about her. And guess what, the other people around here are also fabricated. Hold on a minute ben... What do you mean by that, the other characters are real characters, they are real people, real organisms, they're not fake. Oh yes they are. You just said the self image is a fabrication, therefore they're self image is also fake. The only thing real is pure awareness. That's pure awareness for me, for you, for everyone, etc.... pure awareness is all that there is. There is no separation between church and state, between human to human, between black and white, between computer and bed, between sheet and mattress, it's all pure awareness, pure consciousness, whatever the fuck you want to call it.. and these images that you have of people, they're not real. Your image of somebody else is also a fabrication, it's NOT what they truly are. Do you see that? I know you see it but we have to get you to experience it. That is what you're missing and that is what Peter Ralstons books will help you with. Do something with your mind. It is completely running the show right now. But it doesn't matter actually. The problem in a real tangible sense is that your vision doesn't match.... Hold on a minute. It doesn't matter what you're doing. Nothing fuckin matters. Literally nothing. Whatever your vision is is what you're gonna get. If you want that then go get it. You can have it. If you want that, you can have that too. Stop worrying. Get your head out of your ass. Whatever to envision is what you will have. But I want englithenment. Give me enlightenment! Set my life up for enlightenment. Not girls. I don't give a fuck about girls. Truly I don't. I'll just have some nice casual sex with anyone as I just focus on my craft. I want to be an amazing dancer because this is what I've decided to be passionate about. You know why? Because of inspire me to be a better person, to reach for greater heights. And it pushes me every fuckin day. Every. Fuckin. Day. But I really do want Truth. And I want it soon. I want it within a year. Do you think I can do that? Yes, but you'd need to take time away from other things. Like what? Like competing. Stop worrying about competing. And most importantly stop worrying about girls. Sex will come to you when you're ready for it. You don't like sex that much. You don't. You'd rather do other things. That's awesome! Sex is not that important! That's a good thing that you don't salivate over it. Of course, I used to. Now I'm much more chill because I'm older and I can handle my business and I can stick up for myself. Cuz I'm that fuckin guy. And everybody's that guy. I fuck with everyone. But I can beat your ass. That's the mentality of a masculine man. I don't care what you think of me. There's nothing you can say that is going to hurt me. Aidos Lower Self: I am pure awareness. The Truth is pure awareness. Higher self: So this means pure awareness is everywhere and everything? Without boundaries? Lower self: What do you mean? What are boundaries? Higher Self: Boundaries are what keeps things inside. Inside a glass bowl. Lower self: Do I need the glass bowl? Higher Self: You tell me. Do you need it? Lower self: Yeah... As a matter of fact I do. If I break the glass bowl then I will die. And guess what I don't wanna die. Why don't you want to die? What's wrong with dying? Dying is awful, it's cruel, it's monstrous. Why though? Why are you afraid of it? Like really. What is there to be afraid of? What could you possibly lose? You are NO ONE. But I am somebody. I'm Ben. I m fuckin Ben. They know me by Ben. And they give a fuck about what goes on in my life. Do they really though. And who are they? Right now they're just a picture in your head. What does that tell you? Riddle me that. It tells me that I am on planet earth and I am a man. And I don't want to go to sleep. I can't deal with this abstract bull shit. I'm a human. I'm a little ass human that can't handle anything. That's why I need comfort. I crave comfort. And seeing people and meeting people is the death of me. I hate meeting new girls. Because they scare me. And I know I'll probably fall in love with one of them and then they'll break my heart or I'll break hers. And then we'll both be sad. So like what's the point? What's the point of dating if I'm just gonna get heartbroken? You're triggered. What do you want? Would you like to stay triggered. Or would you like to get out of that head space.... Because you can get out of it if you want. If you want to continue to punish yourself, then you do that as well. You do you man. You do you. Okay now give me something that's true. But give me something new. I've tried a bite out of the pure awareness muffin and it was tasty, don't get it twisted. But now we've got to move onto greater pastures and greater heights. Consciousness is all that there is. Okay, I've heard that one before, that means it must be worth a listen, right? Yes, that's exactly what that means, just follow the herd. And don't look back. Whatever man, let's take a look at what consciousness is, shall we... It is everything. It is everything. At times I start freaking out. I can't help it. I think that Im dying. Why don't you get closer to death. Seriously. Get even closer. No! I'm scared! I don't wanna die! And you're scaring me now. What are you scared of ? You're a grown ass man. You can handle fuckin' business. Yeah but not death. You're asking me to confront death.. see you don't understand what it's like to be in my shoes. If my father died, I would be at peace with it. If my mother died, I would be at peace. What if you're sister got raped and killed? And the guy was your best friend? Could you accept reality if that's what happened? What about the rape of Nanking, what if you were one of the girls being raped over and over again? What does it feel like to get raped? What do you think it feels like. Try to imagine it. It would feel like I have no control. I have to surrender no matter what. Is this what's its like to get fucked? What about you though, you are doing the fucking, aren't you? What does that feel like? It feels like I'm the man because my dick is inside of her. I am implanting my seed into the Earth, or at least that's how it feels. But I am afraid of sex. I have to be SOOOOO comfortable with someone for me to actually have sex with them . My true nature is that of Spirit. My Spirit will forever live on as my body decays and dies. I don't have my own life right now, that's what is not ideal right now because I'm living at my mom's house AND I can't leave the house whenever I want, that's what's frustrating. At the same time, the time off that I've gotten has been an absolute gift from the Universe. I have figured out so many things in my life and I really look forward to seeing how these things get integrated when I go back to work and business as usual. The biggest thing that I've realized is that I want to be Truth realized. I just want Truth, without a fuckin' doubt. And I'm working towards that while also letting go, as to not allow myself to make myself feel guilty for this or for that. Allow the Universe to take you on a ride. Another thing that happened to me last night; so I was up late, eating snacks and not sleeping. I took an edible and whenever I do that, I go down a path where I am slouched in my bed and on my phone for HOURS. I try not to use any electronics past 11 pm, but sometimes I just don't care enough and. I don't abide by that rule. It's important not to force yourself,remember you're not really in control because there's no one there to Be in control, see that? Anyways, I cant wait to start stacking money by using Doordash. I think I can be really strategic with it and get the job done. It's hard to focus on Truth when I'm stressed out about survival. Like I have no fuckin money and I'm afraid that I'm not going to be able to pay my rent. Is this every going to go away? Honestly, probably not, unless I can change my paradigm surrounding it. This might be started by reading "It's not about the money" which takes a look at the different archetypes of financial mindsets. For example, there's the saver, always saving, or the penny pincher, always pinching pennies no matter how wealthy he is. The truth that we believe about the universe is just a hunch. Without a direct experience into the nature of reality, nothing is proven, nothing is known. You are in a state of not- knowing because you truly do not know. If you did know then you wouldnt be asking. You wouldn't be writing in this journal. So... What is Truth? What is it? Truth is consciousness. Just consciousness. Which equates to awareness. Which equates to live. Love? What does love have to do with anything? Love is just an emotion. Then why do I feel a sense of Love during times of peace and bliss. There is no other word for it. It's Love. It's Absolute love. When you can turn off your brain, you experience a state of Love. I experienced a state of Love.

Post-Trip #2 Reflections I’ll start by saying that I screwed up. HPPD symptoms appeared after the trip. Specifically, flat surfaces would start “breathing” again, much like the side of a beast. These visuals would only appear early in the morning and in the evening. Except, instead of being accompanied by the usual feelings of comfort and joy, they would trigger anxiety and fear. This was probably due to two things. Firstly, the fatigue I had during the trip facilitated their onset. My nervous system simply wasn’t ready for such an intense experience. Sleep deprivation and fatigue definitely contributed to the development of HPPD symptoms. Secondly, I made the mistake of attending a one-day holotropic breathwork retreat on May 2nd, only three days after the psychedelic experience. I wasn’t prepared for this trip, as I was still processing the effects of the psychedelic experience. Not only that, but it also aggravated the symptoms by strengthening whatever neural pathways were producing the HPPD. Therefore, if I develop HPPD symptoms again, I should avoid all intense non-ordinary states of consciousness. You’ll definitely regret it otherwise. I also experienced mild HPPD symptoms during my first trip, but I didn’t identify them as HPPD because there was no anxiety attached to them. When my carpet deformed, I was slightly confused, but mostly thought it was kind of cool to have a reminder of my first psychedelic experience, as it reminded me why I was working so hard in the first place. This only happened three times in total and disappeared after 72 hours. Looking back, I probably should have investigated those harmless visuals more seriously so that I would have approached future trips with greater caution, knowing that the symptoms could become much worse if I wasn’t careful. As for dealing with the HPPD, I’d say I did a few things that helped. Firstly, I noticed that if I wasn’t focused on a meaningful task or if I kept my gaze fixed for too long, the flat surfaces in my field of vision would start “breathing.” Therefore, I stayed busy to prevent the visuals from emerging, especially at night, and I would move my head or shift my focus whenever they appeared. Secondly, whenever I noticed the visuals, I tried to let go of the anxiety they provoked while simultaneously focusing on another task, so that I wouldn’t become obsessed with them. Thirdly, I did my best not to obsess over the condition itself, since that would only prolong my suffering. I continued living my daily life as if the symptoms didn’t exist. My regular workouts, consistent sleep schedule, and healthy nutrition also helped significantly. I was already avoiding all drugs, including caffeine, which probably helped as well. My daily “do nothing” meditation and Kriya Yoga practice also seemed helpful, providing temporary relief from the visuals without altering my state of consciousness enough to worsen the symptoms. In fact, I’d say they did the opposite by reducing the overall anxiety I had about the HPPD symptoms. Using my finger as a pacing tool while reading also helped tremendously, since the movement prevented the visuals from emerging and also improved my focus on the task at hand. Then came a turning point. One evening, I was reading a book and could tell that the HPPD symptoms were present. In the corner of my vision, I could see flat surfaces subtly changing while I tried to focus on the book, using my finger as a pacer to make the visuals disappear. The usual feeling of “fluidity” emerged, as it typically did every morning and evening. It’s difficult to describe, but it felt as though reality itself was no longer solid and could melt at any moment. Intuitively, I sensed that this was not a good thing. The book was interesting enough that I eventually forgot about the symptoms and became fully absorbed in reading. Then suddenly, a moment of bliss hit me. I stopped reading and looked around the room. The world felt much more solid than before, and the symptoms had retreated. I looked at a flat surface, and nothing appeared. A smile spread across my face. At that moment, I knew the symptoms weren’t permanent and that they would gradually fade away. Shortly afterward, I went to bed feeling satisfied and hopeful. From that point on, things went uphill. Every day, the symptoms weakened in both frequency and intensity until the following Thursday, when I experienced another blissful moment around 5:00 p.m. after exercising—though it clearly wasn’t caused by the exercise itself. After that, the symptoms practically vanished. The world felt solid again. Here’s the timeline to give an idea of how long this lasted: Psychedelic trip = April 28th, 2026 Holotropic breathwork session = May 2nd, 2026 First bliss moment = May 10th, 2026 Second bliss moment + near elimination of symptoms = May 14th, 2026 End of residual anxiety = Ongoing, but decreasing In retrospect, I recovered relatively quickly (16 days), even though it felt much longer at the time. Most people don’t recover nearly as fast. However, this experience leaves me with three questions: When—or should—I try psychedelics again, fully knowing that HPPD symptoms may return? My initial plan was to gradually use psychedelics to help me understand reality experientially, but now the risk has increased significantly because I’ll likely develop the symptoms again. That being said, if I ever decide to try psychedelics again, it would be 5-MeO-DMT at a low dose. The risk is simply too high with other substances before taking the one most likely to help me awaken. However, realistically, I’d say there’s a 25% chance that HPPD would be permanent and a 75% chance that it would go away if I were to try 5-MeO-DMT. Therefore, I’m not going to take it, at least not until I’m 25 years old. Then I’ll reconsider. But for now, the answer is no psychedelics. Period. Will holotropic breathwork reactivate HPPD symptoms? I plan to test this on June 13th during a one-day holotropic breathwork workshop. It probably won’t reactivate the symptoms, since I never had any before using psychedelics, meaning that it probably needs a chemical to trigger the symptoms in me, but I want to make sure that’s truly the case by confirming it. That being said, I’m still glad I tried psychedelics, and I don’t regret the trip. One unexpected by-product of the experience was that it clarified my life purpose. My life purpose is now to help people with HPPD self-actualize (achieve their life purpose) and self-realize (awaken). For the first time in my life, I’m satisfied with my life purpose. I genuinely think this one will stay permanently. As for HPPD, this vulnerability is tragic. It’s unfair that some people are essentially blocked from psychedelics, since they appear to be one of the most powerful tools for personal development available. Because of this, I want to dedicate my life to solving this problem and finding a systematic, methodical alternative to awakening that does not rely on psychedelics. For now, I’ve sent an email to the Perception Restoration Foundation to volunteer, because before trying to solve this issue, I first need to better understand what I’m dealing with. I need to learn and also get experience treating it (once I’m a legal therapist). This leaves me with one last question: If you're not taking psychedelics to awaken, then how are you going to do it? Simple: I'll create a non-drug method. After all, it’s part of my life's purpose to do so! That being said, so far, the best results I had were with holotropic breathwork in a group setting at a 6-day module. It’ll take years and maybe even decades to figure this out, but hey, there’s really nothing more satisfying for me to do other than this, so I’m going to go ahead and do it.

I just finished the LP course a few days ago. I have been thinking about this moment for quite a while as I started this course more then 2 years ago. Not that I get all the missing answers here but maybe some advice from more experienced folks who are already living their LP. I am 25 now and I live in germany. I have got inattentive adhd which made many things very difficult for me like concentration, dealing with emotions and social problems which indirectly also made other things difficult like finding study partners or getting help with emotional distress difficult. So basically I was always an emotional mess/ overtaxed/ semi depressed while getting nothing done and not understanding what was wrong with me. As a result I had difficulties answering many questions in the life purpose course because I experienced relatively little concrete success so far because I couldnt really take part in life as much. I feel like I have got as close to it as what would be possible with my blockades but I feel like the very thing that is my LP is something I cant see right now. I take meds now and it seems like many things are clearing up rapidly but and I do make quite the transformation. I feel more capable but not necessarily upgraded. The stars become less interesting and I see more immediate tasks ahead. I become a lot more concrete instead of abstract. Thats the best way I can describe it. I seem to manifest myself in reality. I was always very reflected and stuff but was like a wave without its own will it can force onto the world. I develop a sense of self now. It sounds pretty unconscious I know and I made the point myself that adhd (at least the inattentive type that I experience) makes you more conscious. But in taking my meds I can deal with reality at least. If I got emotional support/ grounding maybe I could do it without meds but currently I can only do it this way. So this situation is quite confusing atm. In terms of my career so far: teaching: I am in 10th semester of studying math and philosophy for middle school but only have enough points to complete like 4 semesters (you need 10 semesters in total) because of the emotional distress I was always in. I could probably do better with the meds now so it really isnt hopeless. I decided to study teaching though because I did some internship to see what I like and teaching was okay for a moment and I couldnt deal with the pain of being in a situation of uncertainty so I did the best thing I found at the moment which wasn't the most conscious choice. Also there is a bit of buffer as with this graduation I can do other things as well. Teaching isnt directly my Life Purpose I am pretty sure about that. But I would earn a lot of money per hour, can do it part time, have a lot of holidays and a class in school gives you many direct information to observe which can inspire you. A school class is basically a mirror of society, all the kids are just mini versions of what's to come. So that can help me understand society and psychology more which would deepen whatever I create with my LP. I already thought a little and am also teaching 5 hours per week atm and it's an okay job. So it wouldnt be my LP but it would have a good base to comfortable pursue my real LP. acting: Over the last two years I have been doing a lot of acting as a hobby which is a lot of fun but it took a lot of time and I am also thinking about doing this as a career path. It would give me a relatively unstable base though and it would probably just miss my LP. Learning to act itself is incredible fun but it can also be emotionally challenging which I might not be capable to do. My Life Purpose is generally a bit unclear to me. Being a critical thinker is very much part of my authentic self and I have also got a very creative mind because of my adhd. On their own or even combined they dont really give me a life purpose that I find meaningful. For example I always think critically but I dont see where this practically leads to. And I often come up with new start up ideas because as I love the creative process but when it isnt connected to something meaningful I loose interest in it. The closest I could with these two is working on series like Rick&Morty which comes close to feeling like a LP. But I think there is a last component, a last value that is blocked from my mind. Besides these top two values I also care about empathy, goodness, authenticity, but not enough about any of them to make a LP in combination with the two about them I think. I sometimes look in my past to where the last puzzle piece might be. I developed a very profound even mystical happiness as a kid as I think that I had mystical experiences in kindergarden. I really vibed with Jesus in that time as well. I felt like it would virtually be impossible to break my spirit because I was connected to something unbreakable. I even felt like I needed to go through some real shit, to be lost, to come out of it and from that place be authentically able to help other people. I had a feeling of calling back then. Well I am not quite back to my inner garden of roses yet. I did about 20 trips of psychedelics and never realized a mystical experience because I was in too much shit mentally I think. (interestingly never had a really bad trip either though) I formulated my LP rather vague. I couldnt find any formulation that deeply inspired because as I said I think there is some authentic part of me missing. Taking my reflection about my past and moments of reflection I feel like it has to do with healing, bliss, profound love, existential (healing), spirituality. But I cant completely make out if these things interest me because I feel like I have a lack of them (negative motivation) or if it is authentic. To make my LP more concrete I could reformulate it like this for example (but I am not sure about it): - giving people blissful spiritual experiences to make them more loving and conscious. - finding existential beauty and meaning in fucked up situations to make people more hopeful So with all of this I have no clear direction of where to go and I found out new things about myself/ unblock blockades and this is probably going on for months and years to come. All ways would help me move forwards. If I study to become a teacher that would be an acceptable path which would allow me to do lots of other stuff (LP) I am interested in as well but then I could never study to become a serious actor because I would be too old at this point. I would need to become more clear about myself and my values to see what I value most. A side thought is also to experiment with start ups (for money) as I have lots of ideas for them. Right now I am thinking of continue studying while giving myself time to process and I can on the side apply to acting schools. Chances of getting accepted are pretty low anyways and if I get accepted that would be a sign that I am quite talented. Design ohne Titel.pdf

I am facing a dilema in my practice, so doing like 4 hours daily, anapana, kriya, do nothing, labeling, also tripping. The practice is opening real fast right now. Sustained bliss, Seeing myself in everything, Sitting for hours just blissing out. And the more it deepens the more everything else looks like decoration. I am less motivated to push to make more money, I am less motivated to put the effort into dating, cause I just love sitting, even when I experience negative emotions, it makes to so nice. However, this has consequences. I can see this effecting material aspects of my life. Which I am confused about. How do you manage this? Ideally, I want to be and sit more, but it will take away to much form my daily life.

I love my dogs! Pure bliss to my life

The Many Facets Of Awakening - List of Top 30 Enlightenment Insights continued The realisation of self-design Due to being god, you are creating yourself. Infinite mind is what occurs from infinitely loving attention to the nature of reality. Realisation of eternity You realise past present and future are creations of infinite mind. Now is eternal. Realisation of immortality This is an illusion. You are incarnate as all beings. Paradise Reality is absolute perfection and it is right here and now. The more attached to the ego, the closer to hell, the less ego, the closer to heaven. Realisation of bliss It is the realisation of immortality and heaven. It is absolute love. Infinite intelligence You realise consciousness has infinite scope and is latent within the substrate of existence. Absolute Goodness What is infinite will? Absolutely everything is happening through the will of God. It is like bad things happen to elevate the consciousness of the individual and show the relationship between good and evil. Unlimited power This shows you can create absolutely everything. Omniscience This means you grasp the idea of infinite knowledge/structure. Realisation of divinity and mystery Realisation of being This is the infinite nature of consciousness Infinite fractal of the universe The macro and micro level is infinite What is perception? It has infinite resolution What is life? This gives the answer to the origin of existence. What is the purpose of existence? To bring more light and distinction Bonus facets Channeling gaining direct insights Healing, it's possible to heal yourself. Collective consciousness, it's layered and infinitely connected. Total exstinction of perception. Paranormal phenomena Alien entities

Frankly I would be concerned if you weren't anxious or sad at times. I think we're all looking down the double barrel of techno fascism and mob mayhem and it's very sobering. I just try to remain aware of the fact that this reality is insane all around and that it's nothing personal. It helps me to realize that this shit world really is just that fucking stupid and futile and disillusionment is only natural. The goal is not to spare yourself the horror or save yourself from the suffering, nor is it to be redeemed so as to return to perfect bliss. The goal is to make the suffering of existence productive. To use it to give substance to the fluff that is you in order to forge your soul and liberate your spirit. So while those feelings are uncomfortable and unwanted they are not without value. Resistance just stokes their flames anyway. Your soul is pointing you to something and you would do well to examine those feelings honestly with both your heart and mind. This reality is given substance by something greater than it, but that Grace which transcends all understanding allows for us to overcome that which has been manifest in haste and limitation. That's why the David Icke's "it's all an illusion hologram" is fucking stupid. The hologram is a property of reality, not the other way around. Reality is not a hologram, the body is not a computer, infinite love is not the only truth - these concepts are only embraced by fools and cowards who seek to diminish the nature of the challenge of existence because they are wounded and terrified that that which is in them is not greater than that which is in the world. So yes, you can control them, to a degree - but you don't want to end up in a place where you are deluding yourself by avoiding the harshness of reality or the feelings that it gives rise too. Seek to understand them instead.

In order for God to be God, it has to create finite forms. This has been said many times before. It has to “forget,” metaphorically, that It is One, the same, all of Itself. So to do that, it creates other forms, finite forms of Itself, that forget they are It. The process by which you remember and “reunite” with yourself, with God, is called Love. When you recognize and remember yourself as God, you experience beauty, love, awakening, bliss, and ecstasy. When you fall in love, you recognize the other as yourself, or you recognize God, the beauty within the other. Then you want to unite completely: through your thoughts, your eyes, your lips, your bodies, your genitals, your sounds, your moans, your whispers. That whole process is Love. Love is one of the aspects of God. It is a mechanism through which God “others” Itself and then reunites with Itself once again. You cannot have unity between finite beings without Love. You cannot have finitude without observation. You cannot have finitude without Consciousness.

You cannot but there are certain realizations during awakening. I have had No Self,Infinity, Consciousness, emptinees/Nothingness, .Aloness/Oneness. That last one was the Absolute Solipsism one..there wasnt a realization I was God i just was God. All were best described as full body kundalini awakenings. All meditation. Never touched psychedelics..Very much like Ralston. But Leo's enlightenment videos triggered the awakenings for me. They were all filled wifh Divinity and what i can describe as Infinite bliss - too much for any finite form. All these descriptions fall short..But nothing that said it was love. But it was ineffable for sure. And it did have me in tears. If that ain't love I don't know what is.

The realization of emptiness is both liberating and terrifying. Emptiness means the true nature of all things is devoid of any substance. It doesn’t mean things do not exist or are illusory or that existence is like a black blank dark silent empty room . Everything in existence exists exactly as is right here right now . But the substance of all forms is formlessness. When you experience a restless mind or uncomfortable stream of thoughts and you can’t sleep because of that then here is what you gotta do . Don’t try to silence the mind . The mind can’t shut up. Thoughts flow like a river. It’s silly to try to stop the river . Instead you should sit and watch the water flowing and watch the thoughts moving without reaction . Why is this difficult? Because the voice in your head is not you . It’s what’s been programmed into your mind since you were a child being displayed on repeat . When you observe the mind thinking and you just watch thoughts come and go you will experience difficulties. You will want to engage with thoughts . Why ? Because what remains when you leave the mind alone and just exist as you are as awareness? You see emptiness. You see inside of your being emptiness. There is no one there inside of your being . Just a silent nonpartisan awareness. And its nature is empty . Try this right now :sit in a silent room comfortably and still your body completely and ignore your mind chatter completely. But remain alert . What is found in that space you just allowed ? Literally emptiness. This terrifies you because it’s boring . Your true nature is total blankness. And you can’t stand hearing the sound of silence. You want to engage with the thoughts . Because if you didn’t you will be empty and bored . This is just the tip of the iceberg of the emptiness.if you stay in that meditation long enough just being empty you will fall asleep and enter into the core of your being and the absolute nature of existence which is pure emptiness or pure formlessness which we call deep sleep. In deep sleep there is no mind chatter and there is no sensory experience of any kind .it’s not dark or black . It’s literally complete empty void . This void can be liberating when you realize it to be who you are or it can be terrifying. Here is how to cure insomnia: When your mind is restless and filled with uncomfortable thoughts and when you can’t sleep..the solution is not to try to silence it. The mind does not simply stop. Thoughts flow like a river ..and trying to stop them is as futile as trying to stop the flow. Instead sit and observe. Watch the flow of thoughts without reacting to them. the voice in your head is not truly “you.” It is a collection conditioning and programming accumulated memories since childhood repeating themselves automatically. When you begin to observe your thoughts without engaging you will feel a strong urge to get involved again. Why? What remains when you let the mind be and rest as pure awareness? You encounter emptiness. There is no solid “self” at the center only a quiet empty being . Try this: sit comfortably in a quiet room. Keep your body still. Let the mind chatter continue but do not engage with it. Stay alert. What do you find in that space? Emptiness. Isn’t it ? Nothing . This can feel simply boring. The mind resists silence. It wants stimulation ..distraction..involvement..music ..food..doomscrolling ..anything. Without these things you are left with a sense of blankness and this can be uncomfortable. But here is the key point: this emptiness is also called Nirvana. Absolute bliss and happiness. Not pleasure or excitement but serenity and blissfullness . Consider Deep sleep . It’s pure effortless serenity. That’s nirvana . That’s what you are at the core of your being . If you reject it or don’t accept it or find it boring or terrifying then you will suffer . If you accept it and fall in love with who you are then you will be happy. Stop fearing sleep as if it’s non existence. ..deep sleep: it is completely free of struggle. There is nothing to desire ..nothing to resist. It is pure rest. Like I said If you reject it if you find it boring or frightening you will continue to suffer constantly seeking distraction. But if you accept it and come to recognize it as what you truly are it can become a source of profound peace which nothing else in this world of form can offer .

Well since you’re asking, allow me to chime in with an answer, one caveat being there’s no obligation to like or dislike it. A relationship is nothing more than pure fantasy arising within the dual nature of the mind. Forget relationships, because no matter who you are with at any time of your life, you will still be bound within eternal singledom. The pure fantasy world of relationship doesn’t actually exist, who you really are is alone, always, even with another. Both the self and other of ‘You’ and ‘I’ is an empty room. This idea is either perceived as loneliness or solitude. It’s either the misery self or bliss, or both, which ever way it’s perceived.

Great substance combination, I really recommend it. Lots of similarities to MDMA, even better and more conscious, although not so chemically direct with Love, but you can get directly through the state of consciousness it puts you in, if you know what you're doing. Great experience, very nice feelings and state of consciousness, one of my best trips ever. The awakenings were profound and good, but it was more on the aesthetics and personality of this combination what made me fall in love. The chemist that thought this combination in this proportion, knew what he was doing. Bad effects, you may need magnesium to make the experience milder. Also if in the middle of the experience you notice your mind losing sharpness and becoming a bit sloppy, means you need to drink or ingest some light food to keep going. Jaw tension a bit uncomfortable but less than with MDMA. Overall, words fail to describe the fullness of the experience itself, so if you can get this combo I recommend it and see for yourself.

Some very practical suggestions on grounding and integration after a 5-meo-dmt or other deep psychedelic trip. At first I didn't think much of it, since there were some odd/unconventional suggestions in this guide. But after some heaving sweating in a sauna the week after a deep 5-meo journey, I realized how important bodily grounding after a deep trip is. I felt a deep bliss and integration of a sort of ungrounded energy that had been lingering in my body and mind after the 5-meo experience for a while. I am sure many of the other practices can be very helpful as well. Integration-Guidelines-CONCLAVE-28.05.18 (1).pdf

Yes, exactly relationships are about responsibility and realistic expectations more than anything. Realistic expectations seem low when it's compared to songs and movies. Op was expecting restaurants and Christmas markets to be fun but they are more of a responsibility and a minimum expectations than something euphoric (unlike how the media portraits things like that). Don't chase happiness, chase responsibility and minimum expectations from the other person and yourself (not too high) and bliss might follow as a result. Hope for the best but keep expectations low.

Our problem is how we're holding our conception of these things, and not knowing that (or when) they are conceptions. State comes and goes. "State of consciousness," from the way you talk, is what I'd call state of mind, cognition, experience. This is rather essential to the discussion, as it strikes at the heart of the matter. You may well think that Ramana getting drunk, following a certain breathing pattern, taking some drug, being knocked "unconscious" (etc., etc.) would either "increase" or "decrease" his "consciousness." It's generally assumed that awakening is some sort of experience or state - a grandiose feeling, a state of bliss and peace, a shift in our awareness, a form of knowledge, a new perception of some kind. I follow your logic, and it sounds reasonable, but it is based on flawed assumptions. As I postulated, maybe not even dying made a difference for Maharshi in this context. On his deathbed, while his followers mourned his coming passing, he said something like: Where do you think I'm going? So what are we talking about? How can that realization be an experience or state? It is not possible to "find" or "cause" awakening in your experience, which is the place you'll look - and at the same time it is also possible, but this possibility is not logical or known. No practice or action does it as it is not a conditioned experience. Experience is all we have and know - all we are aware of. The actions you take are activities to engage in while "waiting" to make a leap. And what causes the leap? Mu? Perhaps not the best question. If you see someone promising enlightenment, or a "path" to awakening, I'd be wary of them - especially if they guarantee it. Most likely they're selling what people want - a pleasing, hopeful story - and as so-called spiritual people, we're no strangers to such things. I recommend you look for the other threads on this topic. Be one of the first here to actually put them to use.

Hey y'all This is going to be my new journal on my new account. I left the old acc because I didn't like my username. Let me introduce myself first. My name is Sincerity and I'm from Poland. [image removed] ^ This is me! I'm currently ??? years old. I'm admittedly young but I hope you can see me beyond my age, for what I am I've been on this forum for more than 3 years and until now I've (kinda) held my identity a secret. But lately I've had some realizations in regard to expressing myself more honestly and yeah. Here I am, being more open with you. Now you have a slightly better idea of who's behind the account. (Edit: Ironic haha. But it has to be this way. Everything ends.) I've been on the spiritual path for roughly 4-5 years now and I feel like I've had much progress. I definitely have many insights to share. But I'm still pretty much a beginner and I'm on the journey along with you. Try to keep up, because I feel like I'm growing pretty fast (this year has been insane for me so far, seriously!) I've been mulling over my important values for years and this is where I stand right now: I am primarily about goodness. I am about love. I am about bliss, wisdom, appreciation, responsibility, sincerity, curiosity, discipline and humility. I also really value humor and laughter. You might notice I'm often tongue-in-cheek in my posts I don't like posting very frequently and I'm still not sure what I will even be posting here but tell you what, it's going to come from a place of sincerity Love and have a great day ❤️

7 Handshakes with 5-MeO-DMT June 3rd 2025 - June 12th 2025 Table of Contents: 5-MEO-DMT Failed Attempts 5-MeO-DMT Trip 0001 5-MeO-DMT Trip 0002 5-MeO-DMT Trip 0003 5-MeO-DMT Trip 0004 5-MeO-DMT Trip 0005 5-MeO-DMT Trip 0006 5-MeO-DMT Trip 0007 5-MEO-DMT Failed Attempts: 5-MEO-DMT Attempt 1 0001 - Dose is way Too Low My Scoop is the small end of the yellow double scoop. (Pictured: The microscoops) Date: August 4th 2023 2:31 plugged half scoop at 6mm mark. Felt nothing of note. 3:10 plugged 1 scoop at 5mm mark and stood up immediately. Felt nothing of note 3:37 pm snorted half a scoop 7 minutes in: Feeling tingling in my nasal cavity as I sit here with my head upside down for the first 10 minutes. I felt the burning in the back of my throat as I felt the substance leaking back there lol 5-MeO-DMT Trip 0001 Date: June 3rd 2025 Context: In Ireland with my fellow Actualized.org enjoyer friend. We have no Microscoops or anything of that sort. Just a pair of eyeballs. So we just put a couple grains in an oil burner pipe, and used a normal lighter, and off to the races we go. It's pretty ironic that the most powerful substances are the hardest to measure. In the future, I will invest in an e-mesh setup, and use microscoops. Right now in the current scenario I find myself in, this is not accessible. As expected, shortly after taking a hit for the pipe, within a minute you are fully skyrocketed into the state of consciousness of the dose you just took. This psychedelic experience is not beginner material. The set and setting was indoors sitting on the floor wrapped in blankets, sitting cross-legged. I have my trip sitter directly sitting in front of me where we hold hands and maintain eye contact and have verbal affirmations of love of God to aid in grounding. HIT 1 The come up was gnarly. I just had a few grains, but overall it was very well handled. Due to my already established experience with other psychedelics, I was able to “hold on” and not reject the experience. However, how deep it went with just a couple grains was completely unexpected, but I hung in there nonetheless. I'm glad I just did a few grains! I had vibrations in my hands and I made a comment around the emphasis of how stable I was 5 minutes later. I had a little bit of tactile enhancement, feeling in my hands, increased body awareness. I tried to take a look at my hands to see if there's anything extremely noticeable in these different states of consciousness, but nothing that I could penetrate right there, the dose is too low for anything obvious to be revealed to me. ((( For Context... Personally, the attitude that I take with psychedelics now is that things will reveal themselves with a proper high enough dose and with the proper focusing of your consciousness. For example, when I became conscious for the first time that I have no head when I was on mushrooms, it was just obvious, I was focusing on "what is actuality", and I realized that there was no physical head present. Or when I was on another trip of mushrooms and how everything around me was revealed to be made out of nothing. Nothing IS going on. This became completely obvious. The room felt holographic. Or another time when I was tripping on 6.5 grams of mushrooms, and the fact that I was the only experiencer in reality became completely obvious. With all of this in mind, I am assuming that what is to be revealed to me on 5-MeO-DMT will just become obvious and apparent. In my experience, the best insights come from just having a good contemplation practice sober, and then letting that sober contemplation inform your direct experience in these Peak States Of Consciousness when you're on a psychedelic, paying attention to the truth of direct experience. I have yet to use LSD-like substances and just practice long bouts of contemplation on a continual basis. I’ve done this with LSD Trip 002 and LSD Trip 004, and it was powerful. At this moment of my life, my contemplation muscle is relatively weak to where I need it to be. So I don't try to force any insights, they just come when they do. I just go through the motions of contemplation and pay attention to the actuality of direct experience, and see what comes up. Now with these initial doses, I'm pretty much just trying to get used to doing the substance. With experience, I will be able to integrate much more contemplative thought or intentions into my trips but I think just getting myself to that higher state of consciousness is above all, the most important. The studies and contemplations that I've done sober will ultimately feed into those heightened states. I noticed after just reading through parts of the book “God is Nothingness”, nothingness was immediately more understandable and accessible. So likewise, I gotta study more into the Nature of Consciousness. I've gotta crack Leo’s book list wide open and read the crap out of it! End of Context...))) It was an intense come up like a ton of bricks. Like a Tsunami that hits you before you understand what's going on. The most important thing that will ground you through this experience is focusing on love. This is my experience so far. I would rate this an overall come up intensity 7 out of 10. This psychedelic will immediately demand your seriousness. It slapped away any hint of jokiness or tomfoolery attitude out of my consciousness. This was the real deal, this is serious work. I understand now why shamans are so serious with the song and dance that they do. Although I believe it largely to be unnecessary to have all the rituals, I understand why it is done with the utmost seriousness. The song and dance is just a medium through to practice an attitude of seriousness and devotion to set the tone for the psychedelic. At the end of the day, it's how your state of consciousness IS, going INTO the 5-MeO-DMT trip, and your level of readiness. I can understand now, how you have to want God deeply with your entire heart; coming from a place of intense yearning and wanting to know God like a man whose head is on fire wants a pool of water. This level of desire for God will be the bridge to let go of yourself and to endure your fear, to really lean into the experience to cross over into a proper ego death, and breakthrough. HIT 2 I took a second hit about an hour later, it was much easier, more stable, most likely also because I was playing a song that I deeply connected with emotionally and I think that becomes an anchor throughout the experience. HIT 3 20 minutes later I hit the pipe a third time, and it was really easy, very stable, and I'm starting to get increasingly comfortable with the unique state of consciousness. And now I have noticed a really bad taste in my mouth from the substance probably being burnt a little bit. HIT 4 23 minutes later I hit the pipe for a fourth time, it was a slightly bigger dose, but it was handled seamlessly. It was very stable and I just had silence this time, I was very relaxed and calibrated. I can see how you can lose yourself completely, you're just gone, and you just completely dissolve. I've realized doing NSDR before a 5meo hit could help significantly because it relaxes the nervous system End of Report. 5-MeO-DMT Trip 0002 Date: June 4th 2025 Dose: Unknown. 1-5mg Smoked. Hit 1: Biggest hit so far. Had to swat away the mind like flies. Thoughts about backing out have no good use here at all. That trip was tough. I was zoned in for a solid 9-10 minutes. You need to weep to receive God. You need to want God from a place of deep sadness. Sadness is divine. There is something powerful in Sadness. God's eternal love is patient. Love = Surrender Love = Death Death = God = Selflessness I have a slightly heightened access to accessing the beauty of God in direct experience, and the love that comes from a state of selflessness. When you shut off your own thoughts that come from self-interest, you become much more understanding of others' need for love and you become a vessel of love. You lean into someone's jokes the more you love them. You can feel the polarity of positive and negative in your words and in your tone of voice. What is God's love? Hit 2: about 50 minutes later: Felt half as strong Hit 3: 5-7 minutes later Not much to write home about, still not as strong I experienced a lot of brain fatigue later. I can definitely see the value of plugging 5-MeO-DMT. To get that prolonged experience in that peak state of consciousness, to really soak in what is obvious in that state of consciousness. 5-MeO-DMT Trip 0003 Date: June 8th 2025 Just in the preparation of 5-MeO-DMT, I am noticing all of the ways I am a devil with my judgement. I have to cultivate an environment of love to create a proper set and setting for these trips. This session I took several hits, starting with a very tiny bit, and then just taking hits subsequently, until probably about four to six hits in total. With some inhales more successful than others. Nothing experienced here knocked my socks off, like in the last session. But I had a positive encounter with an easy light caress into the 5-MeO-DMT space. The ego prevents you from being serious. That's its job to distract you from this work. Selflessness = Intelligence Death, ego death gets recontextualized into dissolving into love. I look forward to the exhaustion of dying to God. The previous days I've noticed significant more stress being held in my body with acne forming on my face, neck and my shoulders especially on my back. I also had all the stress and fear get channeled into my hip flexors which artificially tightened them significantly to the point of inability to rotate my right leg outward. So my body was experiencing LOADS of fear. After today's session my hip mobility was significantly restored because my body was finally able to relax. Today was another session of experience to get comfortable with 5MEO. 5-MeO-DMT Trip 0004 Date: June 9th 2025 Contemplations from earlier… All your problems in relationships dissolve when you own other people as part of Self. Because it IS you. There are no others. The realization of no others helps you own other people as part of your complete identity. Smoked freebase. During/After the trip… The mind ceasing is not death. Fear is part of what you are. And you must own it. Say a prayer of love with your mind as you inhale the pipe. Contemplate WHAT death is. Death appears to be the dissolution of the mind. And the mind is what the Ego appears to be. What you identify with is the ego-mind. So when the mind dissolves, you think you're dying. But that's just the ego-mind dissolving. Smoke the full intended amount on the first go. That is leaning into the intention. And into the fear. If you're taking 5-MeO-DMT, it appears that the best is to front your desired dose right away. Rather than smoking a little bit, then going for a bigger hit right after. For me just one hit is enough. I'd feel too fried otherwise. Last trip I was fried from taking more than one dose. End of Report. 5-MeO-DMT Trip 0005 Date: June 10th 2025 Time: 5:36pm 1 hit. Very manageable Tears roll down my eyes as I enjoy connecting with the Death of my dog. I imagine the connection felt with my mom holding the hand of someone in hospice dying. Holding eye contact. The sadness of the death of someone you love appears to be an anchor while you get eviscerated on 5-MeO-DMT. Focus on the death of someone you know of when you die on a psychedelic yourself. End of Report. 5-MeO-DMT Trip 0006 Date: June 11th 2025 Smoked. Good Solid Dose. I see that one must pass the threshold and lose your mind into bliss. My courage and trust in you God will lead me through all fear. I recognized that my trip sitter was not serious as I needed them to be, so he was very distracting. He got cocky with it. I'd rather of had tripped alone. End of Report. 5-MeO-DMT Trip 0007 Date: June 12th 2025 Smoked. Easy dose. I need to have a much better dosing method for sure. End of Report. Next time I use 5-MeO-DMT, I want a much more controlled dose and measured dose. I also have thoughts around upping the dose significantly to create a sure-fire breakthrough. I think dosing too low poses its own risk, dosing high enough where your ego gets laser-blasted to smithereens appears to be useful here. Where the psychedelic just throws you off the cliff...

These r off the cuff comments tho dont read into anything, I’m sick right now meaning becomes nuanced the more there is an asymmetry between dissonance and truth Meaning has become a societal problem, not colloquial eloquence the kid enjoying his truck in the moment is emblematic of the adage “until u become a child, u will not inherit the kingdom of heaven” can be transformed from metaphorical story to the language of meaning by saying “until u heal ur trauma, solve ur cognitive ease, remove dogmas, hone present moment understanding, etc…. U will not experience the fluidity of meaning at the highest levels of unitive bliss with the universe” Kybalion, as above so below this whole thing isn’t about my project, so please don’t read into that ha, judt enjoy the laughs. Briefly, my own approach as stated, at least in the beginning, I will do month to month updates on the project with countdowns, is to keep it as practical as possible. But healing and taking away what isn’t needed, should be the very first step to meaning. Clutter can be in anything, including my messy tongue here today 👌🏻😉🙈 now go rock out

So I just watched a new film i am at the 55.89% mark of my health recovery now going strong, only mild eating difficulties now Anyway, how long do I really think it’s going to be until we have too many “I can’t wait until we have AI ____” like whatever it is whether it’s a kangaroo or the new mega croc dinosaur that supposedly grew over 30 ft long they call the deinosuchus schwimmeri. Tongue twister. for too many things that it starts to eat humanity from the inside out that opting for a robot mom and/or dad just becomes the Schtick? like honestly i feel we really have to welcome it not blow in outrage just look at the situation analytically understand how bad most humans really are at looking after one another now and just empathise with what the situation actually needs it doesn’t need our outcry it doesn’t need our prejudice it doesn’t need our false assessments of dignity when dignity is what’s lost when u get a society full of people now that give so little respect for their own and have been conditioned that way. So the film I saw was Hail Mary. and I express that because as I exited…. Now dont get me wrong there were some nostalgic moments, some blended sentimentality that wasn’t too over the top outside of some of the music. But it just felt too predictable. And that’s to be…. Well… expected. We know that all of socirty now is built upon the following or an algorithm. That’s not science fiction anymore, that’s science. That’s how science says culture must run relative to our present ecosystem inclusive of how to make money from films. It needs to not be too unpredictable so as to create too much dissonance in the average persons mind. so I was like, “ I can’t wait until we have ai films too notch 🎥 as I have planned”. I’ll be able to create and be a part of creative ecosystem where we create content that’s genuinely VR value intensive in a way that psychologically scales past base societal algorithms And that brought me back to this. I watched the film to chill out, going back to when I watched The Anaconda. It had similar appeals. By the way, I have also pledged that as a fail-safe for my future progeny (haha), and I mean this seriously by the way, I am going to do about 6 months of intensive therapy with a top notch therapist. Judt to nail down my psychological blueprint as much as possible, ensure I secure all four walls of my emotional salience so my offspring doesn’t reject me, run off and become a transsexual then do a future sci fi YouTube video about what a shit father I am because I locked them inside “Universal Military School” with a cohort filled with over privileged kids they taught to be totally disconnected from regular life. and that’s completely devoid of any semblance of dystopian truth there, it’ll be far far worse. Not really. But really, it’ll be way better We need to think about these subjects rationally though In an emotionally mature way in a way that puts one step in front of the other and remember that you’re living your own life not societies life and that if we want to live our lives we Must knowlingly accept we’re stepping to a VR calibrated algorithm and we’ll smile and cry at the right temporal intervals, and when we want more independence. Knowingly accept responsibility for unplugging from the algorithm creatively directing our own lives both portals return to the same source, each have equal authority, and equal challenges for maintaining that authority judt in different ways. The Declaration of Independence wasn’t a fantasmagorical event for no reason, it more than anything else didn’t judt r represent social independence, because the very event is preceded by a striving for psychological independence haemony with the emotions, psychology, cognition, aligning the intelligences of being and with that harmonising the intelligences that bind to forge meaning in our lives. Meaning is not a “thing” it’s a signal, a stasis, a being, when a child plays endlessly with a toy truck, he’s not trying to wrestle with the gods of the universe saying “PLEASE GOD WONT U HELP ME WITH MEANING IN THIS”, no the child is merely not persuaded into any falsity that has them believing that meaning is anything other than what is both internal and a state of believing that what one is doing is true to them at that time. Meaning operates in tiers, and those tiers merely reflect the link between consciousness and the flow of the universe where the universe uses the human as a vessel for its own creation. Granted there are layers of intelligences that can be broken down thereto and the lower the levels the more tangible it becomes like brick to bricklayer needing money for bills, but regardless at its most balanced meaning will always be representative of the heights of unitive flow, more distinguished in human activities where humans are more motivated by what brings them the most joy, bliss and higher states of consciousness that’s worth fighting for. That’s uniquely human, and whether we evolve to, and whichever parent we become, that’s the ceiling echo we should be listening for feedback from, ai or not, and whoever variation or combination therein. But let’s check this for a second. ladies. imagine when someone creates the first ai vibrator. haha shit that things going to be insane and dudes, my love goes out to all guys living in their parents basement, because man, they’ll be able to consciousness bliss out on their very first robot girlfriend that actually teaches them emotional intelligence for the first time, and the same for dudes to women There will many zig zags and red flags, from scammers to unhealthy psychosis inducing relationships that form, but in the end, I genuinely believe we will get the aesthetics of human pleasures spot on, and too, getting the perfectly dumbed down generation but merely as a subset of the population. They’ll just be a spin-off reflective or the “misuse cases of ai” as I’ve already seen where people’s brains just rot further and further because they’re not engaging ai to help them live deeper, they’re enabling their addiction to a soda pop lifestyle. This is an entirely new century that begun only in the last two years. There have been far worse centuries of struggle and hardship that are envious of where we presently are. We have to just tie up our bootstraps, pop on our universal military uniforms and learn to conduct the music of the unknown moving forward through the voices of struggle that created something as symbolically beautiful as that Declaration of Independence, and now, something that we don’t have to associate with a tribe as we did in those times, but something we get to turn within and give to ourselves. That alone. Should matter most. Yes we miss many elements of tribal times, but we need to analyse the terrain, the trade offs and the trajectories and square ourselves with what we can control within our own world, not ruled by the chaos theory of the external. Understanding that anything we give externally receives it best when that relationship is understood around how we meet it. Emotional and social intelligence. Grounding energy. Self care. Empathy for self and other, growing our view of the world and finding harmony within through that filter despite the dissonances that result between self architecture and the world around us that can sometimes feel like it’s trying to destroy the fabric of theirs while fully empathising with the scope of the universe. Beneath the chorus, is the cord, the tether, the rope, that pulls disharmony to reason and noise to signal. And it’s you.

I wrote this poem. I thought this forum might be one of the few places that actually gets it. Tell me what you think! ___________________________ Pure Unabashed Love Please know that the imperfections of this one are not the imperfections of this one They are only temporary scars to be removed and healed away. Please know, honey, that when. I beat you it is because. / I love you..\ Please know that I carried out all the beatings, hangings, rapes, lynchings, drawing and quarterings, of all times. For it is not mine to say it is not mine. / / < / / < / / Bow down before the father For he is the judge Who knows of himself no wrong But can only sit with tears Of love and recognition And I am the father, as you are too / / > / / > / They ask how I take identity with the beloved But do you know your own hand? In the same way I know him. I made you the main character So you could know the joys of progress. I meted out every drop of suffering onto your soul So your being could complete itself. . / / | | . / / | | Blood of my blood, love of my love You are a work of pure imagination Stupendous beauty of self-creation A madness looking within to dissolve in pure bliss

How would you embody/not embody infinity/spirit anymore or any less, why would that change anything? Infinity already is. Embodiment would just be a sort of acceptance, of everything, but not in the sense of sitting on a hill in Sadhguru Bliss, it would be in any way, infinitely any way, therefore your already current way. What you're doing is making distinctions; good vs bad, 'I need to wisen up and embody...', but ultimately ------ Anything with 'wisdom' does not correspond with infinity/spirit, wisdom is distinctions: philosophy/ego. To put it another way; it's aversion, an attempt to reject infinity/spirit. Go sit in nature and ask if something needs embodied or to be learned, for anything to be more perfect 🤣🤣🤣, look at the night sky (I'm not laughing at you) Philosophizing has no standing in spirituality. Philosophizing does have standing in changing your state, or embodying wisdom. But I think it's hazardous to conflate philosophy and spirituality: it's like having sex and worrying about the lighting. I'm not saying to not philosophize by the way, it's what I'm doing now, I'm just saying don't miss out on actual spirituality for this McSpirituality, you have both at your hands and can do both.

I suspect the following thing could be part of the explanation for why some people get addicted to weed, while others don't: My current explanation for why i got addicted to weed and is that I simply was taught to use addictions and coping mechanisms since I was very little. When my mom was feeling emotional she would eat sweets and she would come and give me some as well, lol. She made me witness her bad mood, and how sweets make it go away. Also dad was basically an alcoholic. Every time I was sad or emotional, my mom would freak the fuck out and my dad would get angry. They basically taught me that I have to get rid of difficult emotions, at any cost, through external means. This made me feel socially anxious and depressed and insecure. I literally can't remember a time where I didn't feel those things. Even my first memories include the feelings fearing my dad's anger and being addicted to, and later on disgusted and annoyed with my mom's smothering. And me hating to interact with other kids, teachers, other adults, family, etc. I felt inadequate in any context, with some fleeting exceptions. So I think this has a whole lot to do with it. Being so fucked on this front since a very young age, I observed makes it really hard for me to short circuit all that inertia, and to keep a stable baseline of consciousness. And as a final point here, that's actually one thing that weed ended up helping me see - it was amplifying just how wildly volatile my state was day to day. For so many years, every day I switched from moments of bliss and looking at things and tearing up from the beauty of existence, all the way to feeling extremely heavy and inadequate and wondering if I am retarded or something and if it's actually a good idea to end this life. (Which I know I wouldn't do, but those are the states I have been dealing with)

It is only horrific from a human's POV. Yes, Infinite Love is horrific for a finite self. That's why you call it death and fear it like none other. From God's POV, if you have no self, if you are dead, it's pure Love. It is sanity that fears insanity. Once you surrender sanity, there is nothing left to fear. So it's a resistance to insanity that causes this issue. Of course you'd have to surrender survival too. Death is only horrific up until you are dead. After that it's bliss. Note: do not injure yourself.