Merkenstein

@Robert Thanks for the advice! The course really made me start thinking about how to be in the top five percent, looks like I might have been overzealous in my approach. I'll have to take a look at some less intense approaches and see if any stick.

I'm currently working though the core concepts, how much time do you recommend spending on each concept internalizing it. obviously it's better overall to really accept and implement each core concept into your life, but how far should this be taken for the purposes of advancing the course? Will actual life implementation work start in earnest later in the course or even after I've watched all the videos in the course? Do I just need to worry about understand and accepting each concept intellectually, or is now the time I need to really hunker down, spend several weeks if not months on each video refining and internalizing my understanding to the point where it's a natural part of my life? Right now I watch on average four or five videos a week. I take detailed notes on each video (approx. four pages) for review later; I have an implementation document of real life steps I can take towards adding these concepts into my life, and I invest in some of the books recommended. all of this gives me a good understanding of the concepts but not immediate internalization before I find myself moving onto the next topic. Thanks for checking out my post!

@Robert In what regard? with the course, career, life? there's things I want to improve on and get better at, but I don't know exactly what the one thing I want to truly devote myself to and master is.

So recently I had something happen to me while I was rock climbing. It was the last climb of the day and I was very tired. I picked a climb I’d never done before but one that I knew was within my normal ability, but proved incredibly difficult due to fatigue (my muscles were still shaking an hour after the ordeal to give you some perspective). After falling/resting on the rope several times I’d gotten up about two thirds of the climb and over the hardest part. At this point I found a good resting point on the wall and continued my climb, then something happened. During this final stretch of the climb all the sudden a part of myself (not my conscious mind mind you) said “I’m going to finish this climb without falling off the wall”, this wasn’t some impossible feat, I knew I had the ability to do just that. Very quickly I became much more focused and in the moment than usual, more so than I’ve ever been in my life, I had complete and utter faith in myself and my abilities, it seemed the only possible outcome was achieving my goal; then on the final move my muscles gave out and I fell. I wasn’t angry, sad or anything like that, it felt move akin to shock, like the impossible just happened, like some fundamental fact of reality had just shattered into a million pieces, I didn’t know how to react or feel. I’ve struggled with self efficacy and knowing how to trust myself, so this kind of moment is very rare for me. Often times when I’ve consciously taken a chance in the past and trusted myself I end up failing and it becomes even harder to trust myself next time. This time my entire being was invested 100%, I feel betrayed somehow, how can I put so much trust into myself only to have it all crumble down and fail? I don’t know how to process this experience. I guess the bottom line would be: how do you learn to trust yourself again after you commit yourself completely to a task or goal and you end up not getting the result you wanted?