Truth Addict

Of course, that's why I don't resist my thoughts.

And even if I do pick it up, when I put it down, I don't even know if I picked it up in the first place, could be fake memories. All of this is pointing to the present moment, but the present moment itself is not a single moment, it's connected seamlessly with the future and the past. To be accurate, the concept 'present moment' does not exist. There only is an experience. That's all I know right now. It's very obvious stuff. But how would I know that there is no future? You'd say: the future is a concept that exists in the present moment. We can't know anything outside of the present moment. Yes, but we can't either disprove anything outside of the present moment. My thoughts of the future might become correct. You'd say: if you think about the future, you'll lose the present moment. And here I don't know what to say or how to answer.

That's a story. The actual experience is fear, no matter the explanation. How could thought possibly cause the experience to exist? I'm very suspicious that the whole reality is a thought (of a different kind). Or you can say: it's all mind stuff, nothing actually exists but the mind itself.

Why should I not-know? I told you I'm already happy, the only point of not-knowing is becoming happy. So, the answer is: I don't know any damn thing, yet. I was wondering if I can know.

@David Hammond Okay. Stay well my friend

You mean I should become comfortable with not-knowing?

This is the third time you speak from your own beliefs about me and my intentions and my relationship with the mind. I can't see how someone who is too much identified with his beliefs is going to help me stop identifying. Please, I'm not here to argue or debate or to kill time. I'm here to learn, if you have anything of value, show it with respect, and I'll be grateful for you. If you don't, then excuse me, I don't like wasting my time.

It's not there, but this is irrelevant. (hint: I haven't experienced a high).

If I imagine a fearful situation, my body reacts accordingly. If I imagine whatever thing which is not really there, my body reacts accordingly. Sure not always the same, but that gives a hint. If something imaginary affects the body, doesn't that mean that the body itself is imaginary, or at least made of the same substance as illusion?

I thought it was about not-knowing.

I understand that you're talking about happiness, but I already have happiness (present moment). I'm looking for security (future) if possible. I'm surrendered, I could preach to others about surrendering, there is no struggle here. But thank you for the care, I appreciate it. ? That makes it more interesting to me.

And that also is still another model, if you don't follow what the model is pointing to in the actual world. A model is a pointer, nothing more. And yet if you believe it, it will act almost like the real thing. But that's irrelevant to the point I was trying to make. My intention was to hint that everything is an illusion, both what we call 'real', and 'illusory'. The bug is persistent everywhere, and nothing is real, though it looks and feels like it is. If reality itself is a strange loop, where am I going to run to?

@Nahm oh, I've gone through a lot, a lot of stuff, besides I never realised my limitations, I always pushed myself out of my limits until I've burned out. I'm ready to get back already, but the time is not right, so I'm waiting. Thanks for the support, I always find relief in your words I sure am gonna go on, but this time I know better.

@FoxFoxFox If the model wasn't the same as the real thing, how could it produce similar effects? Could it all be just models, and nothing actually is real in the first place?

@phllip103 Are you talking about the many layers of burger? Cuz I'm hungry ?

@Highest This is all very obvious stuff. Still, doesn't produce any high of any kind.

Cool! I also had a lot of highs on running, but that was two years ago before I ever knew that's possible, or what the value of it would be, it was all before I started to buy into this self actualization thing. It helped me break out of a 7 years long depression. I can't wait for the summer to try again with clear intentions to seek higher truths.

@kieranperez Belief in the simplest language, is a layer, an imaginary mask upon the face of Truth that we, humans, confuse for Truth.

All of this is pointing to the subjective experience, which will ultimately destroy all traditional "objectivity". Truth is subjective, and this subjectivity is objective.

@Nahm These questions are kind of hard to answer. But in general, my life is pretty much good and peaceful, most of my internal struggles are gone, I am now more honest with myself than I have ever been. It's just that I have some questions that I haven't answered yet. Habits: I might want to start going to the gym, but I'm not sure I want that. I don't feel like I need it. I don't have any specific habit that I want to quit right now. My life is quite comfortable. I mentioned in earlier posts that I don't mind even working as a slave for a living. Of course, my parents won't agree with me, but I'm fine, I could also work anything else and give away my money to them, I don't want anything to myself. I have already forgiven everyone and everything including myself, because I know that nobody had a choice and that everything is inevitable. What I feel I need the most is experience in the real world, which ironically, is not so much interesting to me. Meditation and self-inquiry help me know myself better, and therefore I can know everyone else better. I'm enjoying life, I do what I feel like doing, I sleep as much as I want and everything. I never had such an opportunity in the past. I was always busy working and studying, but it's been almost 6 months without any of these two. Right now I have almost no obligations, except for college which I have failed at last year, so I am now waiting for the exams, studying a little bit here and there when I feel like it. I don't want anything from life, I've come to the conclusion that everything is the same when one gets used to it. Also, I'm not consistent with meditation or self-inquiry, I practice when I feel I need to. You could say that my baseline level of awareness is meditation, sometimes I lose it, but it's still the majority of my time. I hardly get angry or frustrated, and as I grow more, it's getting even less likely to resist anything. I'm completely surrendered, and even though there are some limitations to that, when something happens opposing to my plans, I accept it and move on. I hope that clarified something about me.

This means that whatever happens is Good, and nothing is important, my life does not matter, it'll always be Good. Well that feels freeing! And really too good to be true! But it requires some courage and faith. I'll work on that. Thank you Leo, I like your new style (teaching style included).

@thesmileyone Everything seems pointless when there is a thought that says so. If you remove the thought, everything becomes meaningful again. For something not to be pointless, the mind wants it to have a goal. But maybe the goal is being achieved already without the thought knowing. So stop thinking, and start experiencing.

@Leo Gura What do you mean God is good without an opposite? Good for whom? You taught in the past that good vs evil is a duality, and now goodness is all there is. I expect you mean goodness=existence, while evil=non-existence.

@Nahm I want some solid land to stand on, I want something 100% true, I want to rest sure, I want to know why I am here, and all that. I was always deluded in the past. I used to believe a lot of things. Now, I don't know. I just don't know.

There are two options I guess: I can adopt some belief system (religion). Or, I can stop thinking about it, and drop it once and for all. And I should 'believe' that this somehow will give me the answers. I tried religion, but I can never be 100% sure, it will always be a belief, and which religion to believe? There are too many. The second option does not sound convincing, but I will keep an open mind if you suggested it or anything else.