Truth Addict

I've been thinking about this. I realised something earlier today about this discussion. The fact that I consider both extremes toxic, tells me something about myself. And that is my authentic self does not want to be myopic, I want to master everything I do, whatever it is I want to be the best at it. Toxicity in this case is what stands in my way towards that goal, so it's not a fixed thing. Michael Jordan has mastered playing basketball, but I don't know about his personal life. To me, I want everything to be at its best. I want to satisfy myself and everyone. The problem with clinging to extremes is that they block us from growing in other areas. I always asked myself what do I want? Almost never got an answer. I now have a better understanding of what I want. I want everything, which is identical to nothing. I want to take what comes my way without rejection or resistance, and embrace it fully. I don't want something in specific. I don't want anything, I want everything. 10:34 AM here and getting back to work in 15 minutes.

@DrewNows There can be a fear of failure, that's normal and actually necessary. Resistance, however, is the cause of suffering. Resistance is the dissection of the one stream that is you, into two opposite poles, reality vs. imagination. There is something (reality), but you imagine something else and want it to replace the reality. That is the source of suffering. Obviously, you can still use imagination and play with it however you like without suffering, because you won't be resisting reality or clinging to imagination. You can acknowledge that imagination is just imagination and let it be without clinging to it.

@DrewNows Desire is not selfish or selfless, it's just desire. It arises spontaneously creating a disturbance which is energy that moves me to fulfill the desire which in turn means the death of that desire and getting back to peace and stillness. In a sense, it's all selfish since it's all happening for me. But in another sense, it's all selfless since I don't really have a say in it. So, it's both and neither. Desire is ego, but it does not necessarily have to create suffering.

@Knock I don't think it's possible to make everyone post relevant comments. Because everyone has a different unique path, and they will inevitably project what they're going through/struggling with onto others. I think they are victims as much as we are. It's really hard not to project your current ideas onto everything in life. And as your ideas change, your projections will change as well.

@DrewNows Good point. I don't judge on the emotional level, I don't hate others. But I still judge on the intellectual level. Both of which are necessary for my inner peace and well being. Or else I would hurt myself and others. Changing others if being done with good intentions, is also necessary for my well being. There is judgement, there is a desire to change others. But there is no resistance/suffering/conflict accompanied with them.

@DrewNows I don't know. It's the vibe and energy that I feel from people. I can clearly see the love. It's obvious. I think it happened when I stopped judging people and started accepting them for who they are. I am in tune with love, I guess.

@mandyjw Thank you Mandy ❤️ I need some guidance. Obviously, I'm terrible at this

Parental love for instance is beyond projections. And so is the love of many people. They don't love their projections of us, but rather they project their love onto us. Because love is the fundamental thing, not projection. ? Of course, awareness is essential. And playing the victim is the worst thing to do. I live with them.

@Knock Levels don't exist, the forum is an illusion Is that what you mean?

@mandyjw You want roses without them thorns. You want paradise without them devils. You want the sun without them clouds. There is a love light in the storm, and it's calling you. You're your hero. Face your fears. There's nothing to fear. ❤️

@DrewNows I disagree. Toxicity is real. It's like trauma. Toxic people cause traumatic events, willingly or unwillingly. You can become fluid and take all the hits, but you will lose your self in the process. You will put others before yourself, and that will lead you to some very bad places. That's fine if it's your only choice, though. You certainly can maintain peace with that. That's not ego annihilation, but rather killing your self-esteem. If you have a choice, then lose the toxins already, and live like you want to live. Usually someone like the parents will only treat you as an adult only if you show them that you've grown up, and that you're now aware and responsible. I, for example, used to have a lot of problems with my parents until I proved to them that I am not a kid anymore, and that I am independent of them. They started respecting me afterwards, and I started to have an effect on them. While before, it was impossible to change them even a little bit, because they would never take me seriously.

@DrewNows ??✌️ What I truly want is nothing and everything. Nothing in particular, and everything that's presented to me. I don't want to want. I want what I want ? @jbram2002 Interesting. I actually don't have anything that I'm ashamed of. But I know some of the things I hide are so triggering to others, and virtually no one would accept them. But I accept myself as I am, and I'm not ashamed of myself. That's the most important thing. However, the one mistake I keep doing these days is to neglect my exams, which are two weeks close. I will find a way to make it work. I am always distracting myself with work and the internet. It really sucks that I'm not convinced of what I have to study.

Feel the anxiety until you stop feeling anxious. Release that anxiety, and then do the right thing anyway. You know what to do. Your emotions are telling you that it's important, tell them: yes you're right, now help me move towards my goal.

@DrewNows Why does it matter what we call those things? Truth is true no matter what, and it's irrelevant to thought. Why care so much about the concepts instead of living life? To me, these kinds of inquiries are only means to surrendering and happiness. I've done them and found happiness. No magical unicorns or anything like that.

@DrewNows I would never tell someone who loves me to get lost. I might tell them that I need space and some time alone, but that's about it. Regarding haters (I don't know a better term ?), I would give them the list of choices, and they should pick what they see fit. If they fail to give me what I want, I would cut them off immediately with all the power I have. If I fail, I would eventually have to accept their toxins until I can either cure them or get rid of them. You can change people in long term relationships, but in cases like occasional encounters, I would find a way to stop them immediately, could be love, power, fear, jokes, whatever.

@DrewNows What do I want from life? That's the question.

@DrewNows Frankly, I don't understand the question quite well.

@DrewNows Ahhh, I see what you mean. These people are extraordinary people. They have reached their authentic self, they worked through their shadow, and they know what they want. You can say they're both enlightened in different ways. I was referring to ordinary human beings who are still figuring themselves and life out (like myself). The examples you mentioned are super people who I look up to. I told you about the post in my notes about enlightenment and authenticity. It's basically about that kind of people.

It's never sustainable. They will burn out sooner or later. Feeling overwhelmed is awesome if you think of it as a challenge or a new experience, and trust that it's part of the plan. Make the enemy your friend, and enjoy its company ?

@Bill W Well, here's the thing, and thank you for the sweet talk: Bringing awareness to the things that others are denying is the way to cure them. I can only show them the way, and how they are going wrong. But really, it's all up to them how they are going to react. Awareness always helps, sometimes immediately, and some other times later.

@DrewNows Thank you for the insights my friend ?❤️ I recently had reached a plateau in my growth. I feel like I'm stuck where I am. No more huge insights. My notes are hardly being updated, my latest update was yesterday, and the one before was on 19 May. I have something to share here on the forum about enlightenment and authenticity, and the tragedy of humanity, but it's in the works and I'm lazy to write in English. A really busy life is toxic. And a really free life is toxic as well. Balance is the way to go. I stopped having a lot of insights since I engaged deeply in the practical mundane life. Before that was the exact opposite, where I was completely free. Between the two was the best life I had. My latest note (insight) from yesterday: More mainstream, more delusion.

@Bill W The problem with people here is that they keep forcing themselves and their opinions and advice on others. They believe that they should change you or convince you. It's a subtle and neurotic kind of control. You ask them to stop, and they keep preaching to you. If you say you don't need their help, they will say you're arrogant, closed-minded, ignorant, or a liar. Or they will think so, and treat you accordingly. They think they know everything about you, but it's all their own projections. They keep telling you that you have a lot of inner work to do, while in fact they are the ones who need it the most. Interesting things, of course. Been there, done that. That's why I know what I know. And I petty them.

@Drake140 Fuck the English language. It is causing me a lot of trouble here.

My beliefs are true, because I want them to be so

I'm super poor. Not famous at all. Have never been with a girl in bed. A lot of childhood traumas. Wise and caring are true. See? You know nothing about me.