peanutspathtotruth

I feel like Leo does honor the fact that his path is unique and that there is no "right" way. In his blog video about infinite love he said "don't worry about the how, it's not about the how". Although he does underline the immense power of psychedelics, and I can confirm that, beware not to turn this into a projection and think that that's the only way. Forget all these thoughts, pick your practices and just explore for yourself. That really is the single most important piece of advice. Instead of overthinking, just be silent, contemplate, meditate, do a retreat, whatever feels authentic to you.

Taking some weeks or months off the forum can greatly help in my experience. I will do that as well actually. All the best to you ??

@Pouya You can have both On a personal level, be honest about what you want and pursue it. Being honest is key and it's not easy. It depends on where you're at in your journey, but it's important not to pretend to live the insights you only had glimpses of or heard about. All will fall into place perfectly. There are phases when nothing worldly seems worth pursuing any longer. And then you go on to create the life you want. The notion of life having to be purely arranged for endless meditation does not apply to today's society. We are God, we can surely remember ourselves while being creative, productive beings Of course, it's a good idea to get out of a job that doesn't fulfill you any longer. That's another story. Really feel what you want and your worldly life can be the framework of your spiritual life. It's the same ❤️

Sounds like a good time to do so ?

You're absolutely right Integration is even one of the most important aspects, at least to me. Again, this is not a black or white discussion, no one said just because you see the power in psychedelics, you don't see the power in giving yourself to a person fully. I find that highly interesting and honestly want to work on opening up more on a human level, that's why I took @kieranperez advice seriously and am now in the process of getting into therapy. I'm working on that on a social level as well. That does not negate any of the things I said though. So we're actually on the same page here I think. Why not acknowledge both?

@mandyjw In my experience, it's not about confession to someone else, but a full surrender and confession to yourself. And of course someone else can greatly help you with that. Partly because, as you rightly said, they might have a perspective that you can not see. It's like talking to a very good friend and learning something about yourself during the conversation, I have that all the time and it's really beautiful But to project these kinds of experiences onto the person and say it's necessary for someone to listen is a tricky game of the mind. To circle that back to the discussion: talking, listening, opening up - all that has its place and is amazing to explore perspectives to find out things about oneself and surrender them openly. But what some here who try to downplay psychedelics don't understand yet is that they can get you beyond all symbolism and perspectives, to the source of all of that. That can happen through work with someone else, but only when it's dedicated to that end - I repeat, A.H. Almaas seems to me the one who works exactly in that way. @winterknight It seems to me just because you have a certain realization about reality you locked yourself into some opinions about the path. What you're saying sounds highly biased and from what I've read there's not even a bit of open mindedness. Could you ever accept that you might be wrong about something? Because when it comes to psychedelics, you clearly haven't gone that far, not even as far as I have and I consider myself at the beginning of my journey. You should look into maps.org to see even the scientifically acknowledged power of those substances. Therapists work with them because they clear things a therapist needs years to do if he can manage at all. It's all publicly available, you should inform yourself with the latest discoveries. I still will try out the therapy, because I think it might be very helpful. This is not a black white discussion, but you seem to have something in you strongly trying to downplay psychedelics. Please don't forget to be humble and open minded, no matter your degree of realization.

No you're not "supposed to" in the sense that just because your kundalini is doing something in you, you should feel bliss. Quite the contrary, you ever heard of "dark night of the soul"? That can take a while and not feel good. Don't neglect how you feel but don't interpret anything into those feelings. You might feel anxious because anxiety is what is getting cleared out of you. Again, you're purifying. Let it do its thing. Choose truthful, beautiful thoughts that make you realize that you ARE the bliss you are supposedly lacking. Even when you don't have pleasurable emotions, you can be blissful. You got this ?? We're here to help you. I can't recommend Matt Kahn enough since you already resonated yesterday. Pick a video title that speaks to you and let it in

@charlesnester Wow just today I was informing myself on the best earplugs for a club environment. The bigear stuff looks great! Thank you for sharing

I know the tension in the head. It's gone now, but I had it for years with fluctuating presence. I think one of the main reasons for this is trying to control attention with force. That's where gentleness comes in, and accepting where you're at in your meditation. After a year or so of just inquiry and do-nothing meditation I was now brought back to the insight that I want to work on my mindfulness and concentration. Regarding your question there, really let this gentleness be a guide for your practice:

Just to be sure: reduce BY 2/3 or reduce TO 2/3?

Fair enough. Just saying: to let it unfold and listen to the whole sessions does wonders, even for just relaxing you. It's not about the words, it's about the feeling. Just a recommendation though. All the best to you ❤️

@Peo They can't remove it for you, no. Nothing can. Only you can. What they can help you with is to see more clearly the root of your addictions. If you genuinely want to know why you act the ways you act, they can work like a magnifying glass. But maybe start with more basic self help tools or therapy first before getting into psychedelics. Good old journaling can do a ton to help you investigate into your behaviour

?? (How did you make it to 1:31 in less than 60 minutes though ??)

Thank you for expressing your perspective ❤️ I will think about that

Are dosages different when plugging? How much did you take?

I really respect your opinion, it's very interesting. Just a thought: How would you be in a position to make such a statement without a) using psychedelics intensely for many years with the purpose of purification b) doing psychotherapy just as intensely, c) doing both together, d) doing only one of them without the other etc. ? It feels like you chose your side and just defend it. But how would you know? I'm very excited to get into psychoanalysis thanks to your help I'll see how it complements my psychedelic work, I'm very curious. Just to expand your horizon, I highly recommend you take a look at A.H. Almaas. There is no one I know of who combines spiritual work and psychological work as he does. He has 20 books or so, I really think this is the pinnacle of psycho-spiritual work. If you happen to read some of his work, let me know what you think! @Leo Gura Do you think psychoanalysis combined with psychedelic work is worthwhile? Even if you have no experience with that, I'm very curious.

?? That sounds delicious

Hey my friend. I share the state you're in. I'm not the same since my trip on Monday. It's very very strange. I also have energetic stuff going on in my body. I also tend to masturbate more often since my body tries to release energy. Compared to before the trip though, it feels like this high energy state is stable. Something is different and it is powerful. As @cetus56 said - your system is recalibrating. That's what I intuitively feel happening for me as well. Accept that the ground you were used to is not there anymore. Trust that this is a good thing. You know - the groundless ground. That's what we're trying to realize, no matter the cost, that's what this whole journey is about, remember? I know it's not easy. That's life, sometimes it's not pleasant. What I wholeheartedly want to let you know is this: All is well. There is NOTHING wrong with you. What takes others years to process is happening to you in a shorter time. That's intense. But it's a calibration to consciousness entering your body. I don't ask you to believe that all is well. You can feel it. Sense into your heart. Welcome every moment, live it fully. Ask the pain or the feeling that washes over you: what are you here to show me? What is your nature? See that everything is here to help you. Nothing is here to hurt you. Some Matt Kahn lines that helped me since Monday. This is a time to connect to your heart. Maybe this helps, feel what he's trying to point to: Much love and all the best to you <3 You're exactly where you need to be

I'm not an expert, so this is speculation: from my experience I get more and more the sense that the substance itself is by far not the most determining factor when it comes to such questions as yours. It really depends on where you are, how ready you are, how receptive etc. I used to do a lot of LSD and thought I knew what this substance can and can not do. And I was wrong. Same with shrooms. With DMT last year, I hit a wall, I could never get beyond a certain point. There was too much resistance. I built the belief I knew how this substance acts. I just wasn't ready. I'm sure if I'd do it now again, it'd be a totally different experience. Just saying, don't forget that those who have many journeys under their belt experience these substances from the vantage point of having taken the journeys. They're way more open to what a substance can show and it's completely different to someone who only uses them recreationally for example. I thought that might be worth noting

Phahahha this guy... @Shin why did you do that, I'll never get this out of my mind

No worries, I understand that of course. I'm very happy for you discovering this! All the best for you!

I don't usually share my psychedelic experiences here, but what happened yesterday was so beyond anything I ever experienced that I a) want to share it with you, b) get some opinions on what exactly happened and c) show clearly to those who are not ready what can happen. PRE-TRIP I built up to that trip for quite a while. I had my first real awakening experience on another LSD trip about a month ago which changed everything for me. I saw for the first time what I truly am. Basically it was the direct experience of oneness, God. It was beautiful and just beyond any description. Then there was a "downfall" - all my layers of trauma and conditioning rebuilt themselves in front of my eyes. This took hours. I "lost" the realization. I watched the process of separation happen and I had no chance to do anything about it. That was life changing. Since then I deepened my commitment to this path. I introduced myself to 5-Meo. I didn't breakthrough yet but it was deep nonetheless. For the last two weeks, I did at least one 2 hour meditation session (do nothing + self inquiry) a day, which got deeper and deeper over time. Also, I got back into one meal a day to detox my body through the prolonged fasts and a very clean diet. My commitment was (and still is) to purify body and soul so much that I can truly receive what psychedelics offer. And boy, did I receive yesterday... So after waking up, I journaled as every morning, setting my intention for the trip: whatever happens, give yourself to it completely. Love it. Just let it happen. I prepared some snacks for later and dropped the acid. It should be noted that at that time I was on an 18 hour fast. Although I heard that it might be heavy on the body, I felt like going into the trip without eating anything beforehand. My mind was really clear and I wanted to keep that during the trip. I started my trip with a Rupert guided meditation, which I often do - it makes the upcome smooth and gets me into contemplation mode right from the start. COME-UP After 30 minutes or so, the craziness began. I was accelerating in consciousness so quickly, I couldn't hold onto anything. Rupert gave nice little pointers here and there, but I couldn't really focus on anything. Time was already morphed beyond understanding. After the meditation ended, which was about an hour later, I moved from my couch to lie down on the floor in corpse pose. I investigated into my Being. I repeatedly moved into recognizing myself as awareness, deepening that sense of being without substance. Pretty quickly, things got crazy. It all started with my consciousness getting so... "direct" (?), so clear. that my body responded. Basically, there was an energy moving through me so intensely that it made me curl my spine without any control, so my butt was still on the floor, my chest pressed heavily towards the ceiling. This was after 90 minutes. PHASE ONE Now begins the first "phase" of the whole process. For the next two hours or so, this happened over and over again: There was a light, a knowing, an awareness so damn bright that whenever I looked at it, whenever I allowed myself to be it, this energy would shoot through my body. It was pulling my spine up so heavily, sometimes my head was still on the floor, sometimes I was halfway in the air with a straight spine, my back muscles being stronger than I could ever imagine. Yes, exactly as in an exorcism. I was lying in that position sometimes for minutes. It felt like to work properly it needed my spine to be off the ground, because whenever I lay down again, I surrendered to it and BAM I was being pulled up again. Also, within these two hours, it felt like a pathway was forcefully cleared. I really don't know, but one of the few thoughts that came to me were "damn, is this a Kundalini thing?" Because after this energy fully entered me, a lot of stuff happened. At this point, there was no mind doing any inquiry anymore. The only thing I did was letting myself die to the moment - whatever that means, I still have no idea. It was like taking the courage to LOOK. To not look away anymore. And everytime I did, an energy wave would hit me. So after this clearing happened, there was a new element introduced to the energetic pulls: Shaking. Damn... I am still in the "first phase" and the energetic waves happen and with them I shake intensely, sometimes my whole body tightening up. I wasn't doing any of it, the sense of control was long gone. I felt like this energy could break my bones EASILY. It was so intense. With these shakings, a process started to happen which unfolded over the next two hours or so. So bear in mind, I was already "doing" this for two hours and I thought that this was the peak and it would be over soon - no. PHASE TWO So phase two started when emotions started puring out with the energetic purges. And it was always with a certain body part that a specific emotion was released. It felt like a cleansing from bottom to top. So it started with my legs shaking heavily, releasing traumas and beliefs connected to my sexual center. I experienced a lot of shame that was hiding there within me. I let it happen. At one point, a burst of incredible self-confidence about my sexuality was released. All feelings of not being good enough or feeling ashamed about my body were gone. It felt very healthy. I just let it happen. Then, it went on to my belly. This was very interesting. First, this area was shaking heavily and at one point I was presented with an emotion I havn't felt as long as I can remember: anger. I consider myself to be a loving, peaceful guy, but I always knew there's something deeply repressed in me, because I never feel angry. Yesterday, it was finally released. Oh boy.. We have a phrase in German, "teufelswild" which means "wild as the devil". And DAMN WAS I WILD. I was so angry, I could have destroyed a building, hurt someone badly. And instead of pulling away, I let it happen. It felt so good. And the feeling passed away as well. Then fear entered. It was the most limiting feeling of fear I ever felt. It was like the basic fear of a creature not wanting to die. The energy purges still happened of course. And I recognized intense tensions in my belly. I consciously allowed the tension to melt away, to make myself vulnerable. And the fear vanished. There was more going on in my chest/heart area, then my throat and finally my head. It's too much to put into here. I don't understand it myself. But every time, the specific body part would shake heavily during the energy purges and traumas and feelings were brought up. This was phase two. I'm now 5 hours into the trip and experienced 4 hours of this crazy purging. To clarify: I have and had no idea what was happening. What I know is that mentally I did not resist one bit and I did not put any effort into anything. As I intended, I just let it do its thing. Even while experiencing these intense emotions, my body tightening like it would burst my rib cage, and my face switching between a "help I'm dying" and a "have your way with me" expression, I did not struggle. I wasn't the body nor the mind. I was "it". And I watched myself purifying me of myself. That is, of the prison I was living in all my life. So it didn't feel wrong or terrible. In fact, it felt extremely freeing. It was like layers upon layers were lifted and I became ever more pure. I, that what i truly am I mean, this energy, was clearing all sense of otherness out of myself. That's what it felt like. I couldn't look away from myself being THAT. And so that simple recognition was doing the cleansing. At least that's what it felt like. PHASE THREE So after these 4 hours, my muscles being sore as hell and my blanket and pillow being soaked in sweat, I realized that I asked for this. And that the process is not over yet. Without a break, it just went on for three more hours. This is phase 3. This is when the peak subsided. And my ego was repeatedly trying to get a grip over its survival. Before there was any thought, i felt the ascending sense of being limited. It's hard to describe - it was this immense infinity suddenly being put into a cage. I decided that I don't want to fall asleep again. So I clearly looked: Who am I? Is this cage that starts entering really me? If not, why does it feel like that? I looked clearly and the second I saw the truth of it, another energy purge would hit me and the cage burst into pieces - I died into my Self. This happened over and over and over again. For three hours!! I really understood now that the ego itself is a strange loop within consciousness. That to die is really to live. I repeated this dying, being thrown back into illusion, dying etc. INSIGHTS At some point though, I had to eat something and my energy levels were depleted. The mental cage started coming back completely this time. And I was fine with it. After eating, I inquired further. And I was wondering: Although i see it so clearly, why is this energetical structure always coming back? Literally the second I lay down on the floor after an energetic purge (which ALWAYS pulled my spine up the whole trip through by the way), it came back. At some point I saw that I can't kill it, because I'm still trying to do so from within the cage itself. That will never ever work. But if I am the one thinking to be the cage, how do I solve this "problem"? Because my innocence truly wants to be free. I realized it instantly: The last step can only be taken by grace, by love. So I entered my heart and loved the mental construct that was holding "me" as a prisoner. I didn't try to abandon it anymore. And that is what teachers like Matt Kahn say over and over again: You can't abandon the ego. Only love can do that. So to assist in that process, match the vibration of love, recognizing even the ego being a part of God and loving it for its infinite beauty. That does not mean to give in to the ego. It's to give up the illusion that there is someone who can pop the ego bubble. There isn't. What i saw clearly when in the loop of breaking out of ego and falling into it again is that the whole game I'm playing is like a pair of hands punching the air and slowly but surely disappearing, like a ghost. It's nothing! And I saw that I don't have to fight to "keep that insight". So for me, my path is a path of love now. More commited than ever before. I will keep meditating and I will keep inquiring. But I won't try to escape from anywhere, for I am always the undying. I let grace do the rest, for I am not in control. QUESTIONS If you really made it to the end, thank you so much for taking the time. I have some questions: - Does anyone have a clue what might have happened there? I mean, it was energetic, that's for sure. But I'm not sure if maybe my Kundalini just cleared the way or if it actually awoke already? It's hard to tell when tripping balls, but the power of 2000 suns was bursting through my spine, so yeah, where do you draw the line? - I feel different. Something big has been released. And something has died. But what happened is so damn intense, I want to make sure to give my body the time to integrate that. Besides a proper nutrition, plenty of rest and maybe fasting, any tips for energetic integration? I'm really a newbie here. - For those who are on the path and maybe start experimenting with psychedelics: Are you aware what power you are playing with? I say this only to let you know that this could happen to you. And I'm not sure many people would surrender that easily. Are you ready to get ripped apart for 7 hours straight? I'm not being an asshole here, but please be sure that you know what you're doing. Always start small. Respect your body. And don't fight. I can't imagine what would have happened if I would have fought this. Be aware that you're playing with fire! I love you all <3

Exactly. I totally understand why one would defend against this possibility. To the ego it's literally death. If you see it clearly though and let it simmer, it turns out to be the most beautiful thing. The concept of being alone is so loaded, it's good to start from complete (!!) not knowing. All of those who judge and defend in this post to me seem like they don't take the importance of not knowing, of complete open-mindedness seriously. It's a very foundational prerequisite, without which there won't be any progress. Of course nobody here shames you for saying what you think. Thank you for your contributions. Your words are registered and we can use it to reflect upon our beliefs. Are you open enough to do the same? I wish you the best "Silence is the highest teaching" <3

Looks solid, I think as long as you don't take the absolute cheapest ones, there isn't any big difference. Yes it helped tremendously, but more for the back than the neck. You definitely don't want to be sleeping on your belly, for me even 20-30 minutes of doing so ruins my neck for the whole day. I sleep on the side always. I heard in the new "What I've Learned" video, he concludes that this position is the best, even on your back is supposed to be rather unhealthy. Watch the video maybe, it might give you some valuable information. If you sleep on the floor, it's of course okay to use a blanket or something for softness. I use a cheap yoga mat and a blanket on top. It still has the befenits of the firmness, it's really a slim layer only. If you think about transitioning to the floor, prepare for an accustoming phase which can take 1-2 weeks. For me, since then I sleep like a baby. I hope this helps. Definitely try the yoga session I sent you, it realigns your posture

Hahaha damn, that throws me back to the same exact insight on a recent LSD trip. I never laughed so hard, was literally rolling on the floor laughing about the trickery and the stupidness of it. Thank you for sharing, really got me laughing again It's funny when you see spiritual teachers after such an insight, they are just God having understood the joke fully. It's hilarious! And beautiful Never forget the fun of this whole journey