peanutspathtotruth

In a woman: A deep desire for Truth/God, nothing sexier than that. Transparency, emotional intelligence and honesty, ability and will to surrender completely.

@Twentyfirst Thanks. It's the same trap most "awakened" teachers fall into - it all feels so easy and direct from their free, ego-less position that they think everyone just needs to SEE YOU'RE GOD RIGHT NOW. Yeah, what about all the patterns that make you miserable, cloudy and ignorant that you've been working through for years before you could even remotely grasp what you truly are? If we don't learn, even through the simplest teachings, how to harmonize everything in us, growing up and flowering as awakeness is impossible. Awakening without integration and embodiment is dry. It's not an either/or thing - be awakened and free or not. No, you're here to love yourself - all of it. There is nothing but self-love. Love your heart and you will want to know what you are. You will want to face every demon, because you love all of this beauty here so much. There are teachings which just give you this spark of loving yourself. They won't tell you "sorry, not full God realization". This is not helpful most of the time. It's like teaching, coaching and stuff like that - you can talk all you want, if you don't develop the capacity to attune to what the being in front of you needs right now to make its next step, even your highest teaching won't do anything.

This is so very true, and I feel like humanity as a whole, including awakened beings, is still in the early infant stage of embodying higher consciousness. It's as you say a challenge already because our systems are not capable of holding the magnitude of understanding and consciousness - and this seems necessary to embody that. Moreover, we have no mirrors, no grown up, awake beings that show us how to be with one another. That's why I tend to intuit that it first is gonna take a group of exclusively mature, highly conscious beings to explore what it means to live from that place. Then, a structure needs to be found and held that allows people to enter, mature and awaken while the whole community/system stays in balance. I feel this is the most challenging part of it all. How do we build a community so conscious that no darkness can bring it out of harmony, out of balance - that literally outshines all darkness and swallows division to leave only Love, Truth, and ever deepening realization? To me, this is one of the most fascinating questions ever. And I want to help humanity take the first steps, even though this endeavour might take thousands of years. I feel like we are in a long evolutionary process of adapting our systems to hold ever more high states of consciousness - I mean that's what has obviously been happening in the universe and it feels like an archetypal, natural pattern of God to do so. I also intuit that great, awakened thinkers and story tellers might show us how it could be done through novels and such - maybe exploration must be the first step which then inspires us to try things out. I'm so driven to make some steps in this direction. I don't care how many communities failed. Let's try again! For love <3

Someone recently posted this, I feel this could scratch your itch Watch it all, it's interesting https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gox_SLXi_G8

Consider the perspective. Ultimately, it's a gift. It's not a matter of opinion, not even of perception. If by gift you mean it is "good", "beautiful", "loving", yes, couldn't be better. Every limited perspective though will not show you this truth, and thus we tend to call it a suffering, a burden. When the burden is made out of the gift though, it doesn't make sense to make the statement that it's ultimately suffering. No. There is suffering, but it is made out of the most beautiful gift: Infinite Love.

Absolutely. It's so perfect, it's impossible. It's better than any dream could ever imagine, because it is infinite. Infinite Love, Infinite Beauty, Infinite Freshness. Forever... holy fuck

Beautiful! Yes <3 It's funny though, because God knows it is never not-love, never not-itself. So even though this knot of not seeing love/self builds its contraction over years, the moment it releases, all seriousness of this drama melts away. All along, the drama was itself made of this love that it had been seeking all this time.

No one will ever "give" you total Truth. Rupert is a treasure. Be grateful such a clear and eloquent teacher freely gives his pointers again and again. It won't get any better than this using words:

Of course there is value in that (but probably not 10k). The value is consciousness resonating with itself in a group, unifying and creating strong levels of Love. The reality of this being not only a practice but a goal of God doing its thing is so undervalued here - because most of us here are loners, let's just face it. Rarely has anything changed me as much as allowing the journey to be shared with others. Even though the work still is mostly happening inside you.

Maybe originally a metaphor for the end of illusion on a collective level. Which would probably feel like the annihilation of ourselves and the world as we know it. As someone else said, the dark night of the soul, just for all of humanity at once. Maybe that was pointed to, maybe not.

What you're feeling is a wish for community - and that is beautiful. I've walked the lone wolf path all my life, but no more. One of the biggest insights I've had was that community is the next step of embodiment. And most spiritually oriented people are scared of that because a) you bring others into the equation and social dynamics can be complex, and b) many people believe most people are not on their level. Truth be told, 99% of people I've met, I would just not want to be in community with. But I've craved like minded people. Like, people like you all, who are on a no-bullshit, highly devoted spiritual path towards God and love. And I spoke out these heartfelt wishes. And they have been answered. I've found a tribe who are all as, or closely as, committed to Truth as I am. I can't tell you how powerful such a connection is. Consciousness potentiates itself in such a surrounding. Add nature to that and bam, magic starts unfolding. It's scary to think as a group (we want to create projects together, create a community space and expand it to help people awaken and heal), but it's also incredibly beautiful. Please value your innermost wish for community if you truly feel it. The people are out there. Go out of your way to find them. Randomly meet up people, maybe you find someone on the forum who lives nearby. The power of combined forces of consciousness and love is virtually unspeakable. I truly believe that further down the road, unity consciousness between human beings is possible. Many act as one. For that, we have to be completely vulnerable and connect deeply. Listen to your heart ♥

Beautiful, I can very much relate! You're right on track, you're very open, inquisitive and honest, as well as valuing Truth/Love highly. He's a lucky guy

The only reason you see it this way is that you can't accept (and probably are not seeing yet) that this is all you. Like really really. All of it. Every "other" human and animal, every act of "wrongdoing". This is you. It's very challenging, but as soon as you see that, you would gladly come back. Aaron Abke in his most recent Law Of One video said something about the graduation process. Of course you want to be a higher density / consciousness being. We're here for ascending all the way. To state the view of The Law of One material: the precise reason we're in this specific predicament of egoic consciousness is that only if we accept all of it(!!), are we seeing clearly enough what we are (Love), and are choosing clearly enough to see this truth. And then, the learning process is complete and we can work on higher consciousness love and understanding. This is really just the beginning, and you're probably sensing that. So your current view could point out to you that you can look at what exactly makes you repel some part of reality and why you're not loving it. If you have become conscious of the infinity and oneness and love of THIS very this, why can't you love all of it? This is not a question to induce guilt for not loving yourself. This is a question to reveal the guilt and fear that's causing you to divide yourself into lovable and unlovable. It's actually quite simple. I like that view. It's all about forgiveness and love.

Exactly! I've never been drawn towards Buddhism, just found it rather boring. But recently, I wanna explore it more deeply because I sense there is more depth than I ever gave it credit for. It's as with the mystics of Christianity, of course one has to look for those who get it, for those with the highest signal to noise ratio, to be a bit schmackdatburgery

I agree. You can also understand yourself and not be able to be peacefully silent. In the end, this is not an either or discussion. Of course, both are important. I'm not deeply into Buddhism, but I suspect there are many Buddhists who are very much into understanding reality, maybe more than you give them credit for. But I don't really know.

Self-understanding is not the goal. The goal is total silence. Self-understanding will naturally come once that is achieved. I'm just trying out the opposite perspective. They both make sense to me.

Ultimately, all this is your Thought. God's thought. That's why I said that ultimately, there is no distinction. It's like when you're very low conscious, all your thoughts are very primitive and concerned with survival. When you transcend wrong identification, you see that thought is not occurring to you as a separate being, but that you are God thinking everything into existence. This gets thought out of misperception and welcomes infinite intelligence to manifest. Meditation and contemplation are two practices and you should first treat them as such. If you decide to surrender, surrender. If you decide to contemplate, contemplate. Don't instill the wrong belief that you need to figure anything out. Just be curious. In the end, both practices organically merge, and it's one and the same.

Knowing self deception, I see how your advice will quickly get distorted into "Nice, let's understand reality and think, think, think, ..." and you have the ego loop contracting even more. A silent mind does not mean you're just stupidly chilling your ass off. It opens up space for infinite intelligence to understand way beyond thought, or: through thought that far transcends what symbolic thinking could ever comprehend. The deep silence that is often pointed to is like having all thoughts at once, which is the same as having no thought - what you refer to as omniscience. I'd not simply dismiss that as empty-minded fools. Maybe, it is semantics though: When we extend the definition of thought into the realm of abstract, high consciousness energy patterns of self-knowledge and creativity, we're more clear on what is said. Thought as most of us know it is a very low filtration of what thought can be (or ultimately IS), and what you're possibly referring to - a much higher degree of thought which is only reached, or made available, at very high levels of consciousness. And I think this is where your advice can possibly mislead. There needs to be made a nuanced distinction between mere conditioned psychological thought and Godly, essential, high consciousness thought, which has nothing to do with the human conditioning. This Godly thought is what creates all finitude, and it is this thought that can comprehend its own source. Of course, there is ultimately no difference - but practically speaking, to silence/transcend the low level of thought through complete mental silence is very important, otherwise we're stuck in it and will never understand our true Self on the level you're pointing to.

Yes, you have to "act", and I agree that to "fight" can metaphorically be helpful as in "fighting the inertia of conditioning". Internally though, this fighting is surrendering, understanding, forgiving. Externally, I am open to everything - you might need to oppose and to challenge for love to prevail. In the end, individually and collectively, I currently see it as the following: As soon as you see that all is infinite love, you can choose that truth over falling back into illusion. Then you choose, as the whole, to see yourself as what you really are. So the vessel then wants to bring love into every heart of its manifestations. And what does that require? Forgiveness, courage, boldness, love, softness etc. Each situation is different. And I agree: Today's landscape might require a lot of strength. If we fight, we fight for love, as love, against love. Jesus was PISSED at those who deepened suffering. Because he saw the potential of heaven on earth. But ultimately, he knew why this was so and had complete forgiveness and compassion with each and everyone. I feel like God goes all the way into pain and suffering to test whether it chooses love despite all of this. It's not a mistake. It's God. It wants to explore what happens when unity is forgotten. Is love so infinite that it shines even in the darkest corner of hell? Of course it does.

Sometimes, bad sleep can't be fixed through a better general lifestyle only, because the main reason for it is acute stress, irritation - a very active egoic mind in pain. If this is so, maybe these aids help: Moon milk before sleep: Ashwagandha, Tumeric, Cinnamon, Coconut Oil, Honey in plant milk (cook for 5 minutes) take 1/2 to 1 teaspoon of ashwagandha. Magnesium before sleep: Take 400mg Exercise Listen to nature sounds (seriously, this is so helpful to calm the whole nervous system) And, most importantly: Allow yourself to dive into the emotional pain you're feeling. Yes, it will get intense, yes, it will be even more painful when you dive in. But the only way out is through. Take up the courage and love for yourself to surrender to whatever you feel. We tend to run away from this simple encounter with our inner state for weeks, months, years. It just takes 2 hours of doing nothing else but letting go of running away. Simply being with the pain. Deeply sinking into it so you become the pain. This is ultimately the only way.

It really does makes sense. These things are not so easy to grasp, and I share a similar situation and temporary confusion as you do. If you're mostly femininely polarized, you highly value relationship, possibly (but not necessarily) more than life purpose and such things. And it's beautiful to admit and align with that. I hear a tiny bit of urgency in your writing, as in: if you actually wanted someone more aligned with your spiritual heart, it would mean letting your current relationship go and being unsure about when and if that someone else is coming. It's okay to be honest about these doubts: Is the alignment enough? Are you happy with what you have or does your heart crave for more alignment spiritually? That's no easy question to answer. Can be ego, but can also be authentic desire that is bringing up these questions. Also, since you mentioned your age, does a wish for children play a role? 5-MeO throws you into God consciousness and initiates deep balancing energies - which in turn can lead to intense purification. I would go with the basic advice of not making major life decisions shortly after the trip. There's nothing to fear. If the truth is you want someone else, then be happy that the trip shows you that before you find out later. If it shows you you want to make this relationship happen, be happy that the trip strengthened your commitment. If you're not gaining clarity over this matter, be happy that the trip showed you that uncertainty and flow are things to embrace in life. You got this Don't make it a problem to be solved, make it a unique and beautiful play to design.

This really speaks most to me and mirrors my own experience. It's the technique that is explored in depth in "Spacecruiser Inquiry" by Almaas. Basically, it comes down to this: Just be with whatever is in the moment Be curious and loving towards whatever the primary experience in the moment is. Primary means that when a painful feeling is present and "loud"/intense, this is the primary experience. If all thought is silent and emptiness is most prevalent, that is the primary experience. Whatever attention naturally wanders upon, this is what is inquired into. There is no manipulating or directing of attention. All is reality, and so whatever presents itself is the focus of the inquiry. Don't do anything to the experience you're inquiring. Don't ask anything, don't try to change anything, don't try to get rid of the experience, don't expect any revelation. Just stay with whatever is, imbue it with attention (naturally, not by doing something), and remember the curiosity and love you feel for reality. That's it. Plain and simple. When you inquire into anything in your experience, it ultimately ALWAYS leads to the Self.

If counting channeled work, I recommend Jesus "A Course Of Love" and "A Course In Miracles" Also, as I often recommend, A.H. Almaas. But he is best enjoyed in book form. Start with "The Unfolding Now".

I find it fascinating how the view of ego and suffering changes based on level of consciousness. At times, it looks like the saddest drama imaginable. At times, it looks like pure, meaningless suffering. At times, it looks like nothing at all. At times, it looks like the most flimsy creative thought just popping up for a short eternity. At times, it looks like infinite love exploring itself. At times, it looks like humanity, the earth, and the physical universe are the center of reality. At times, it looks like humanity, the earth, and the physical universe are the only plane of reality we can see, but it feels like there could be infinitely more. At times, it looks like all this has meaning, at times, it looks like it doesn't. At times, it looks like we have to choose love over fear. At times, it looks like there could never be something like choice. What does that say about the ACTUAL truth of all this? Do we really have to fight anything or anyone? Are you sure?