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@remember I took a look at the website, looks interesting, thank you for sharing @Commodent I just watched about the half of it - very eye-opening and interesting, thank you!!

That seems to become the main challenge if I'll decide to go that route. @Nahm Yes, I am also open towards that. I start to get the sense that I'm missing way more than I would ever have thought. I start to see my own arrogance really, in thinking I got it all figured out. It's interesting to witness @mandyjw What you describe here, you wrote somewhere else in this forum and it really stuck with me since I read it. I thought about it a lot. And it's super interesting to read the additional parts about your insights. I get crazy insights in my dreams a lot lately. I really do think that I'm extremely lucky with my best friend because he knows me inside out. I get the chance to tell him everything that's on my mind once or twice a month when we meet, and he gives me really really good and honest advice. Just being able to have a listener who actually understands me is so healing in itself. We have this thing going for years, we deeply listen to each other. It deepened our relationship immensely. It's what I thought about today when I left the therapy "Actually, I had an amazing therapist by my side all along." @kieranperez Very interesting points you make here, will have to think about all this. Also, thanks for the Martin Ball recommendation. I really like him as a character and he seems to be the #1 when it comes to talk about 5MeO for sure. I'll have a look! Amen. I'll do my best to distinguish clearly and be honest. Thank you!

@Serotoninluv Yes exactly, this need to find a problem might be what I was sensing as not really being appropriate for me. That sounds like such a great match! Interesting thoughts about how you expressed your relation to psychedelics, as I see myself having this impression on other people as well Good idea, was thinking about that as well! @kieranperez You're the one who got me thinking, so I really thank you for that! I see. I'm not sure yet if I'm ready to invest that time and energy - it took around two months until I finally got this session. Yes that's true, I was not really expecting that to be honest. I am really looking for that integration and outside perspective. This might be the most beneficial help I could get from psychotherapy. That's what I am actually hoping for. I tried getting into that today in the session by describing intense held back emotions coming up on an LSD trip recently. She didn't really take that seriously. I think I really want that non-judgmental person who could help me integrate the experience instead of saying "You know, drugs are bad." Thank you so much for your feedback. I'm going to think about all this.

Super interesting. Thank you for sharing all this!

@Serotoninluv So did you do what you just described four months ago? And since then, you stopped? I tripped quite regularly these last 3-4 weeks, and there's also concerns bubbling up. Even guilt of overdoing it. Just another thing to contemplate I guess. It's tricky sometimes to assess if you should continue or not.

@Calmness @d0ornokey Thank you for your words! Yes I'm also sure there exist such therapists. Honestly, if I had the money, I would get a personal Diamond Approach trained person. The Diamond Approach is by far the most big picture integration of psychology and spirituality I've ever come across. But honestly, I don't have the money. What I was offered here would have been covered by my insurance. They won't pay for anything outside the conventional therapy. Maybe sometime in the future when I have the money to go to those I already know could help me. I would say my "need" is someone who is way deeper into the work than me, someone who has to a large extent integrated his/her shadow and who has a deep understanding and experience of non-duality. Specifically, I think that such a person would be able to assess me quite accurately and sees what I should need to focus on. As I said, if anyone I think Diamond Approach trained persons are the most appropriate.

@Serotoninluv Wow... For real...

That is sooo important and helpful! It really is crucial to be completely honest and to feel totally aligned before tripping. I had to learn this the hard way. Yes, sometimes you want to "grow fast, go deeper". But you might have to take a break for a couple of months. Integrate. Do more practices. Get lost, whatever. To recognize that is a responsibility and a respect towards these substances which is even required, I feel, to healthily use them. @cle103 What I learned during my last trips is this: You have to face physical death. You have to accept that you might die and not come back. That there might be a health risk and there's actually danger is most often the mind using its tricks to get you to believe in it. To not let it go completely. When I said: Okay, I seem to actually die right now. My heart might stop now. It's okay. If that's what is, then that's what is. - only then could I go deeper. It's a sacrifice. A mental sacrifice. Because that's what the body is. That's what the fear of death is. It's mental, conceptual, illusory. It all has to go. I would have never thought I would actually find mysefl at the brink of dying while tripping. But that's what you gotta face ultimately.

Beautiful ❤️

You're making very good points here. It's always good to remember that it's not a sprint. The ego would love it so much to "just get there". But indeed it doesn't work that way. Thanks for the sobering advice. And I agree about the mindfuck... Yes I'd have never believed that it's SUCH a mindfuck. No one can comprehend what this actually means unless you experience it. It's beyond anything. Thanks for your help

This is what only now I start to grasp and how radical that is when it is encountered in its actuality. One of my biggest obstacles is that "I don't understand", but want to understand, and get frustrated to a point where I see that only by abandoning the mind, I can see clearly. And although I know I just need to stop grasping with my mind, it's not possible because it's the only way of functioning I know. All I do comes from the mind. Only when I'm really conscious do I remember home and how to act from truth. It's all so ultra subtle ?

I worked my way up to 3 micro scoops of Hcl. This dose was two days ago. It was the most terrifying experience I ever had. Despite a lot of gratitutde and love and acceptance, I couldn't fully let go. It felt like I was dying for 40 minutes straight. My psyche wanted to scream for help, but I aborted every attempt to change anything. I allowed myself to die. And yet, it didn't get me through. Although it was so terrifying, it was extremely humbling. And I want to go in again. That's what you guys always mean with the sub breakthrough dose right? Is 3,5 micro scoops still physically safe? By the way, since then, I'm grateful as I've never been. I got a glimpse of love, for I learned to love even that experience of dying. Yesterday, I had my first successful N,N-DMT breakthrough via vaporizing. I went in with respect and love, and I saw why it never worked before. It's all the mindset. What a beautiful experience. Now it's time to get through with 5-MeO. Thank you all for your help. I'm so lucky living in the circumstances to be able to use this substance and learn from it. ??

Posted here 5 times or so

@khalifa Maybe a better way of saying it is this: Sit down and just let everything be as it is, without exception. Just be. If you're resisting, let that resistance happen. Don't touch your experience, just let it unfold. Listen deeply to your experience on all levels. That is meditation. You don't do anything, you just stop resisting whatever is there. I feel like you're resisting big time and I can totally understand why. That's why I said: you just need some time to rest. But still, I highly recommend Yoga Nidra. Don't think about it, just do it. You can always stop when it gets too much.

@khalifa Why do you think that? Honestly, I think what you really need is a calm mind, so why not try it? Gentleness, acceptance and surrender feel more natural and healthy than resistance don't you think?

@traveler Wow... Amazing

@TheAvatarState Good points!

Very important, felt like a Peter Ralston slap It's good to be reminded what's in the way. Thanks for sharing ??

@khalifa Please try Yoga Nidra. You gotta calm your mind and nervous system to rest. And it can greatly help you to sleep - even if not, one session gives you plenty of rest. I hope it will help you ❤️

@inFlow Your advice is still your opinion, sorry to break it to you. I'm not saying you are wrong, you're just putting it like you had years of experience in both and that's not the case. Yes meditation alone won't get you far, but as a combo practice with something else it's super helpful. @SQAAD Preferably focus on a rather small object, like the sensations at your nostrils or in your lower belly. It trains your ability to be very distinctive with your attention. I so to speak "look at" where the sensations of the in- and out-breath occur. In the pause, I look at the same place - which you could call space yes, space without any sensation in that moment. I hope that helps I recently found myself guided to the book "The Mind Illuminated" by some fellow forum members here and it's the best mindfulness meditation explanation I've ever read. Highly recommended. Be sure to not only meditate, but expand your practice - do inquiry, contemplation, yoga, psychedelics, a combination of them, whatever suits you.

@inFlow That's a pretty simplistic view in my opinion. Mindfulness meditation done properly is powerful. It's a training for the mind, to make it sharp enough to really contemplate reality. Kriya Yoga might be a great practice, and I personally really want to get back to it eventually (only did it for a few weeks on&off), but to say "this is better than that" is just your bias. And there are more than enough mystics whom meditation took all the way to no self, even if there's much more. It's like a toolbox, you take what works for you and your lifestyle. Please don't make others feel as if your way is superior. Psychedelics, meditation, yoga, inquiry, contemplation - it's all powerful stuff.

Thank you! Though I found the solution (pun intended): it really was the water temperature. I applied a torch to the teaspoon from a distance for 2-3 seconds and all the substance dissolved almost instantly. I was first worried that I burned something but no, the trip proved that worry wrong ?

Can someone help me? Out of four tries, only two of them I could dissolve the 5-MeO freebase in a water-vinegar solution easily. Right now I'm preparing for a trip, I'm stirring since 20 minutes but it just won't dissolve. I think I didn't do anything different than the other times. I had this problem before. I think a lot of the substance will be wasted because it will stay in the syringe. Anyone any ideas? Is it the water temperature? The vinegar strength? I do it as in the video but I add a little vinegar essence to the water I'm dissolvig the freebase in.

This! One thing I would add is: Tune into yourself when you feel aligned with your consciousness, and ask yourself: what is it that I truly want? If you could choose to do anything, and not include all the worries about that not being enough to make a living, what would you choose? How would you express yourself as a vessel for God's love, beauty and creativity? Don't think about survival first, think about passion first. You're smart enough to figure out that to make your passion your job, you might have to work through jobs first that you don't love. And that is okay. But ultimately, making a living and being realized can go hand in hand. For me, this is the path of creative expression / art. It's part of my spiritual path. Everything is. Be creative and know that you can create the life you want to live! ??

Is that really so? I didn't get that impression to be honest. And @winterknight thanks for making this statement. That's what I feel this all boils down to right? Why not do both? Why discuss about which one is better if you just combined the two and honored both of their unique powers. I'm really looking forward to implement the therapy with psychedelic work.