peanutspathtotruth

In a sense yes, but you can't really prepare for a breakthrough. It's either full surrender or not. The substance itself, also in small doses, feels very very nice. I also experienced panic a few times, mainly due to being scared to stop breathing. Many people report this same fear, it's quite common. To me, it was the last barrier - to be okay with actually dying, while simultaneously trusting that the body will breath by itself (albeit very slowly) when you do reasonable, safe doses. On the other side it is very clear then that fear is nothing without thought, so all thought needs to be surrendered. When you're really unsure about your breathing, maybe sit somewhere instead of lying down, it helped me once. I haven't gone in nearly enough - I'm still scared of my own panic. Loving and trusting is the way.

Fuck, this somehow really strucks a chord. It's such a beautiful understanding and way to perceive, and it makes a certain coldness that is surrounding this whole "do it on your own" thought completely disappear. It truly feels like a step forward into love and embodiment. That's what commUnity can be.

@Shiva99 I feel you! I'm also on my way out of this, but I learned this much: It is an addiction. And it most probably is connected to some suppressed feelings - as you said, maybe suppressing sexual desire, but could also be guilt, shame, etc. Of course these are tied to the act, and when you relapse - there you go. I really think it's immature and myopic of people to be skeptical about why you feel this way after three months. You do feel this way, so penetrate the feelings and learn what they are telling you. I doubt an addiction is worked through in such a short timeframe. Depends on how long one has been primed. I feel like the only way is to confront and welcome the feeling of horniness, not giving in to thinking and fantasizing as best one can, and indeed transmuting the energy, using it for spiritual practice, exercise, relationships, creativity etc. You got this

This is so damn true. I recently read in a classic personal development book that we go from dependence to independence to interdependence. This really hit me, even in the spiritual sense. You could see it from many angles, but to me it stood out to see that: yeah it's actually amazing not to be independent of anything else. Being the oneness of everything, how could a part of it be independent? This also greatly applies to relationships. Having the foundation of being independent, being whole and in harmony in oneself, only then is true interdependence possible. And it's beautiful, not weak. Ram Dass talks about this is in "Going Home" on Netflix. Very touching. Quite a new angle for me.

I once took 2CB because I was a bit scared of DMT but still wanted to inquire into reality. Had a great time and came to this classic point of feeling immensely confident to go DEEP. So I quickly looked up the cross effects of 2CB and DMT - very safe to use and synergetic effect, okay cool! So I took a hit out of the GVG and while looking at my lamp, I just casually became the lamp. The lamp (or rather: my whole experience) was the whole universe. Just silent witnessing of myself being this visual field, focusing on my lamp, nothing else. Did this a few times. At one point I took another hit and knowingly prepared myself for the DMT to rush in. Nothing happened. I was a bit perplexed and waited a few minutes. I thought: probably that was enough and somehow the 2CB inhibited the DMT or something. About 30-60 minutes in, I felt increasingly euphoric. Like a cosmic clown, I became so happy and joked around with myself. Then I realized what might have happened, so I quickly checked the receptacles where I stored the substances. "Oh no.... I smoked MDMA." While being at peace and super conscious, I almost had not realized that I was tripping balls all the time. There just were hardly any thoughts, so I kind of missed that and took the wrong receptacle. I was terrified because I knew MDMA can lead to serotonine syndrome. I quickly made an online search and was relieved the three substances were cool together. While being very funny in a sense, I took it to the heart. This could have been a disaster, it could have been my death. If it would have been 5-MeO instead of MDMA (or in fact any other substance which would not have interacted well with the other two), it could have gone very serious very quickly. Since then I'm super careful, especially when I'm redosing when already tripping. Labeling the receptacles is another good idea I came up with just then.

This is incredible... I mean, did you just energetically feel how you are transmitting something to her? I know this insanely clear feeling of being able to channel energy and realization. Was that what you did? Or did you talk to her or whatever? When this was actually what triggered here, that's so magical isn't it? Of course it's also dangerous (obviously) to fuck around with another being's energy system.

Only season 1 when it came out, I loved it! Gonna restart now, thanks for the recommendation. And @Nahm, gonna check out Evil as well

One of the best series I ever watched! Helped me process some difficult emotions and gave me new perspectives on empathy/love. Season 4 is on its way

If you have 45 minutes, do this meditation now. I feel this can be helpful for all of you, no matter where you are in your journey. Here all of his meditations, they are all amazing. ❤️??

I did the strictest detox from his new book a few months ago. It was amazing, changed the way I feel my body. Unfortunately, I'm not following the advice any longer and backlashed. Which I can clearly feel as well

I'm in the same boat and I'm starting now at the age of 25. But I'm going for Computer Science, and even there a degree is less and less required. Especially for art though, I would also say go all in and focus on building skills on yourself. As Leo said, all that counts is what you show you can do. I think it's the most focused and quickest way to break into the industry for you. All the best ??

This is beautiful, thank you for sharing!

That's definitely a good point! It's so interesting, because on the one hand we are maturing, becoming more sensitive to information and other beings, and how to deal with that. On the other hand, I totally see what you're saying - there's a kind of naivety which comes (partly) from an opening space of innocence. I open up to nearly everyone nowadays, even though a part of my mind kind of calculates if this is relevant or authentic etc. But in the end, they are Truth incarnated. I always like to find out what's behind the veil. It's not that spiritual maturation makes these things ONLY easier.

True, reality and its paradox nature does not make sense to the mind. I'm not acting like I understand all of this (I don't!), but I can't and will no longer deny what I am - what all this is (or is not).

Because there is neither positive nor negative. When the mind stops asserting values or differentiation to anything, these questions collapse. Everything is just what it is, without any ability to name it or qualify it. Yet, WHEN and IF the mind is gonna express how this qualitylessness "feels", at least this mind right here would say "ruthlessly beautiful, peaceful and loving". But again - as soon as you try to argue that these are indeed qualities, it's too late. All this is beyond mind. You could call it whatever you want. Of course infinity includes all the darkness. But what is darkness but a distinction? Get this: When all distinctions collapse, this is what many here call LOVE, what I call Beauty or Peace. Because that's how the heart of reality functions, without having to apply a label. So understand that I could just as well not use any word and remain in silence. The pure Beingness of reality is still amazing beyond comprehension. Either one sees that or not. Arguing won't do anything to what is already so.

I don't understand the question Who said existence is not what it is? What do you mean?

The Beauty of existence is not a fantasy, it is all that is. Why is survival dark and bleak? It is just what it is. When you don't take it personally, it is completely understandable.

You can check here for example

Great perspective, had a similar contemplation today starting a new job which is just a side hustle for the moment, so not a life purpose thing. I always have to think about Gurdjeff, and how he also found labor to be excellent for transformation. It's like relationships, a test on the battlefield

Yes, I do. And as far as I have read the experiences of others here, I think many can relate. It makes total sense that the ego is scared of being dissolved, even though YOU, the real you, is completely free of fear - but only if you see through the fear itself. I find fear to be an excellent opportunity to inquire into it. It's tough, but it's at the core of our defenses.

Jesus, what is happening to this forum?

What do you think makes him so sure about these things? I try to contemplate that for a while: Is factual knowledge possible through the cultivation of the infinite intelligence? It sometimes feels that way, but I never know if the bottleneck of the mind is having a last hidden say. Sometimes I feel he's just merging all his book knowledge, especially the old scriptures, and makes that his theory. Which doesn't say anything about the accuracy per se.

Very interesting. I like that you asked him directly. And you are right, I'm really trying to balance trust in his guidance and complete self-authority in only direct experience. He's a strange guy, much wisdom but also hard to see through. I also asked him about his thoughts on A. H. Almaas, who I think you would find very interesting (masterful thinker in how the ego functions and how it came to be, deeply rooted in intense psychological study, and his practice is very very close to yours). He apparently even met him and studied with his scholars for a while, but found his theory too lacking at some point. Thought I'd throw that in here

Yep, when you stay honest, food doesn't fill you up anymore. An orgasm doesn't give what the mind promises. All these are still enjoyable, but enjoyment itself shifts drastically. The transition is pure grief though..

I love this guy, but when he started talking about the pyramids I was a bit perplexed at first But I have to say this is by far the coolest explanation of pyramids I've heard. I really think most of what he says comes from his direct experience, but in the end I don't know that. Rather propels me to find out for myself. He always tickles in me this fascination for the possibility that history has way different backgrounds than we all think. Also this thing about the Yuga cycles and that a few thousand years ago people were WAY more conscious than we are today ... I have no clue, could be bullshit. But could be true as well. Phew, at least the answers are all inside the Self forever. What a cool storyline all this is ?