okulele

The Wonder of Reality This. This right here. I call it reality. I assume you have one too. You are looking at it. And hearing it. And feeling. It is infinite. It is ever-changing. Maybe you think it is not infinite, or maybe you think you are not perceiving the infinity. That is where you are wrong. It is infinite. Always. Even when you think it is not. Don't believe me? Here, a quick exercise. The Fingernail Exercise Look at your fingernail. Take your time. One minute is quite ok. Look and look. Look some more. There is still more to it. And look more, there is still more, you have not seen it all. And some more. Get it? It does not end. It is infinite. You are seeing infinity in the finite! That is what it is. Get it into your head. Maybe you think it is not ever-changing, or maybe you think you are not perceiving it's ever-changing quality? Maybe you think there is a physical, stable part of reality? No. There is nothing like that. It is ever-changing. And you are experiencing it, even when you believe otherwise. Don't believe me? Here, a quick exercise. Your Surroundings Exercise Look around you. Look at reality. If it is physical and stable, you should be able to focus in on something and keep your attention there. Can you actually do it? Can you find one point, one image, where you can hold your attention because it is stable? Or is it always moving, ever-changing for you, like for me. Don't fool yourself, look really close and try really hard. No. There is nothing stable. Nothing to hold on to in reality. It is ever-changing.

@Osm Oh, I'm sure you have more demons than you imagine. Good luck with them, we all have to face them at some point. And I have a secret to share! All the scary demons are actually just small, scared children wanting a bit of love

The Brave Investigation Challenge 3/6 Yesterday evening (that's when the cravings come in) was confusing to say the least. I was working on my computer and got lost in it. When I came back, I noticed something was off. I could not figure out what was not right for a while. Then it hit me. I was not feeling. I was feeling nothing. No emotion, no nothing, blank. I was sort of dead inside. Since I decided not to stuff down my feelings with food, it looks like I automatically disengaged from my body, to keep myself safe from the pain! Slowly by scanning my boy and doing light bodywork, I got back to my body. It was very eye-opening. I realized that probably a lot of people live in this miserable state. Far away from their bodies and emotions to keep themselves safe. What a tragedy. I feel with them, I really do. It's better to suffer the worst pain, than to die inside and refuse to feel. That's what I think. Cold shower got me back inside really well and I got the urge to do some journaling. That was a good decision. It felt so good. It felt so wonderful. I got a big release with this. Crying and making all kinds of stupid faces and noises I didn't know I could In the end, just before going to sleep I still felt very small, weak and vulnerable tough. In times like these, I like to watch Mooji. He is a real father figure. It is a little awkward for me to even right it here, but there is a part in me, which feels like a little child and wants to be told by the likes of Mooji that all will be ok. Thank you Mooji for this! This was a success then! Let's do it today also!

Nope. In the first stage you are supposed to breathe in a chaotic way with the emphasis on the out breath. In Leo's shamanic breathing, you are supposed to breathe evenly without breaks. I'll try another take on it. Osho's meditation charges you up and you explode with everything that's inside you. Leo's breathing lets you go into a sort of trans state, where you just go deeper, deeper, deeper... And slowly start opening the body up. Not much use discussing it really. Try both of them and see for yourself.

Welcoming addiction "The pain is back, I am grateful. It hurts me deeply, I say thank you. The mind is brutal, I'm wide open. Nothing can make my heart close in."

I would say yes. All of these methods basically work with the emotional body. However Shamanic Breathing seems to have the ability to take you far, far beyond emotional release only. All the way to no-mind and non-duality (that's my guess). I'm not sure if it's possible with Osho's Dynamic Meditation. But hey, that's just my guess!

Addiction work Addiction is a part of being human. There is nothing shameful about it. It is what it is. Want a tip on how to overcome your addiction? Instead of seeing it as a dirty, bad habit that you need to get rid of and ought to be ashamed of see it as an amazing opportunity. Opportunity for growth. This slight change in perspective is all you need to deal with your addiction. Keep this perspective, keep it well, and very soon you will let go of your addiction to emerge at the other end, where new possibilities lie.

As I understand it, the Second Stage is supposed to charge you up with energy. If you do it right, you should feel like you are about to explode. On the other hand, the Third Stage is where the letting go takes place, where the emotions/shadow can be released.

The Brave Investigation Challenge 2/6 Yesterday, I failed. Let me share what happened. On day one, the determination was strong. it was easy to through with this. The day after day one (yesterday) was amazing. I felt great. Energized, feeling healthy and strong. However, soon after my usual routine morning the afternoon came and with this the feelings of unease and restlessness. The fear that I might give into the cravings again. Basically I meditated the whole afternoon through with occasional breaks. When I was deeply in my body, I had more or less "control" of my cravings. More precisely to say would be, I was aware of them and they couldn't touch me. At some point though, it got the better of me. I don't know how. I think I gave up. It's a very strange thing. why id I give up? What was so bad about simply sitting there doing nothing? Some part of me just cannot accept going to sleep in the evening without creating the drama of addiction. Some part of me just cannot stand the stillness of awareness all day long. So it creates a show. This whole addiction thing is just a play to give me a reason to struggle, worry and thus go unconscious. As much my unconsciousness is causing my addiction as my addiction is causing my unconsciousness. Ok, the battle was lost, but the war is ours! Let's go on! The plan I will not give in to my cravings. I will not comply this time. I will stay aware of these patterns. I CAN do it. Even though I have to go to sleep with my mind torturing me and trying to hurt me really bad, I know it cannot touch me. I am far beyond that kind of fear now. I will have only 3 meals a day (possibly I will skip breakfast as I am not hungry after the evening binge). The last meal will be before 18 o'clock. The computer will be shut of after 20 o'clock. I am prepared for emotional labor. In fact, I welcome it. I can't wait to feel the suffering. Come at me bro My motivation Every time I continue with this, the habit gets stronger. I CAN break it. I have the power. It will change so much! THIS is the biggest thing holding me back right now. It fucks me physically, mentally and effects basically every part of my life. Most importantly, it directly undermines my pursuit of consciousness. It is the ego's sneaky way of fighting back. I want to stay clean before my Bufo Alvarius ceremony. ... and I took up the challenge after all! This means something and I will go through with it.

The best thing we can do for another human being? Actually notice them.

Defeat I feel dirty and weak. But I still choose to love and accept myself.

@phoenix666 Yes. I experienced almost exactly what you are explaining. It felt like something that was hidden deep, deep under came up and untied itself. It reminded me of the internal knots I read about in Thich Nhat Hanh's book. Basically something that was stuck for a long time released at last! But of course, as other's are saying, don't cling to that. It's gone now.

I don't have a journal habit, but when I feel down and strong emotions are crushing me, I sometimes start writing. Making a conversation between me and me can be very helpful in these situations. Finding out what is wrong, what I need and want is much easier on paper I find.

The Brave Investigation Challenge 1/6 Not so bad. There was some fear throughout the day of failing to make it, but I met it with awareness and excitement. I knew that the fear is exactly what I need to feel. It is part of the addiction after all. It received plenty "I love you"s from me. And it felt good. In the evening I meditated for about an hour. I paid a lot of attention to my body sensations. There is something going on in the throat area. It's big and it's coming out soon, I'm sure. While lying down to sleep and relaxing deeply a ton of sensations came up in the body again. If I remember correctly - brow, throat, crotch - were particularly strong. The night was... different. A lot of purging I would say. Without the usual comfort of food in my stomach, I felt a lot of emotions as I was waking up for moments at night. And the dreams, man, the dreams... Overall, very good! Thank you, dear Universe!

Wooohoo! Let's make every day a conscious day!

Sounds like some deep purging. Take a bucket with you to your mediation session and go for it

See this reality around you? Do you really know what it is? Get curious, little guy Oh! And google Alan Watts!

Investigating my habits My eating habit is out of control. I have been saying to myself that it is ego-backlash. And maybe it is, but that does not mean that I can give up responsibility for it. Let's drop this victim mindset. The Story: The boy has been figuring out his diet for a looong time now. There were times of eating vegetarian, vegan, different types of fasting... all sorts of things. All in all, his relationship with food has not been too healthy. A very neurotic side of himself has been showing up in this domain. Lately he started a new "diet". It is a diet he calls the Anti-fungal diet. It basically means cutting all sugar and grains. That was a big step forwards according to him, he felt better, he saw improvement. However, the eating devil inside of him did not give up for long. The craving was very real. A habit which was developed long ago kept going. What habit? When the evening comes, instead of going to sleep to be his best in the morning, he secretly and full of shame takes up snacks to his room and binges on them while watching anime. It is even hard for him to write this. The shame is very real. What is the downside? He does not get as much sleep as needed. He fills himself up with garbage (even sugar at times). His tummy is constantly full and his body is not functioning as well as it should. He tried to stop so many times, believe me. It seems impossible. Yet here he is again. Willing to investigate one more time. The Plan: You have 6 more days until you leave this place! Let's use this time for conducting a challenge. Let's call it - "The Brave Investigation Challenge". What is the goal? Instead of giving in to your habit of binging on food and media in the evening, you will sit and investigate what comes up. What are the rules? 3 meals a day. No snacking in between. You will eat your last meal before 18.00. You will not use your computer after 20.00. What are the tools? Meditation. Breathing. Scanning the body. If needed use EFT and bodywork. For the next 6 days, you will write a post regarding this challenge and summarizing the experience briefly. The Vision By going through this challenge successfully, my health and well being will improve right away. Also, the investigation will lead me to greater understanding of the root of the issue, possibly to letting go of this habit all together. I will clean my body before the upcoming Bufo Alvarius ceremony. It is a continuation of my Anti-fungal diet, as the evening habit got me eating sugar quite often. In time, I will accustom to eating less and adopting some sort of intermediate fasting lifestyle. Let's settle this, bugs!

Addiction I see no string, but the pull is real. - I want it now, ~ I can't let it happen. - Please give it to me. ~ Don't you let that fool have his way! - Why, can't you let me have it? ~ You can stop it! You are the boss! Who is even arguing?

I was in a similar situation. I chose traveling and volunteering in some awesome places. I cannot recommend it enough. You can get so much life experience and broaden your horizons. (I used workaway.info to find hosts to volunteer with)

Morning sitting "Something in me has stopped, all is welcome to be. Never knew I was moving, now I feel free, because I've stopped."

@Amer Don't believe the thought which tells you that your passion is gone.

How can I be so fortunate if others are being hurt so much? I just cannot stand seeing others being mistreated like that. It hurts me physically to see other's misery. To anyone reading this, if you are not beaten, if you are safe, if you have someone to love and someone who loves you... please, count your blessings.

"King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine" by Robert L. Moore and Douglas Gillette If you are a man and want to discover the psychological possibilities available for you, this one is amazing. Based on Jung's work I think.

I had a dream of Leo taking a break from his challenge and telling us about emotional dimensions he visited and showing us stone sculptures he can create with his mind now... ...so maybe something like that.