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@Leo Gura You stress how important the pranayama is. When I do the spinal breathing I get a very intense response from my body - shaking, sweating, heat. Because of this I usually do only 3-6 repetitions. Is that normal and should I push myself to do more? What's your opinon?

The return of the toad I woke up and kept lying in bed drifting in and out of sleep. Suddenly I was dreaming about smoking weed. Somebody was holding a bowl to my lips and I was sucking the smoke in. It was strangely familiar and it hit me. This was the scene from the Bufo ceremony. BANG! At that moment the dream weed expanded my consciousness dramaticaly. I was back in my bed, but feeling like I was floating. My crown chakra was wide open and I was kind of out of my body. It was not as deep as the actual 5-MeO, but that was it. Since the ceremony my consciousness expands like that spontaniously from time to time, usually with the return of some memory of that day.

Thank you Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

"Since you are awareness there is no need to attain or cultivate it. All that you have to do is to give up being aware of other things, that is of the not-Self." - Ramana Maharshi

I just want to sit with my eyes closed. All I want to do is stay in my being and explore my energies. I can sit for hours, hypnotized by my insides. I am not really interested in much else. I don't have a desire for relationships, entertainment, knowledge or anything too much. Not like it's not pleasent, but it doesn't compare to what is inside. Am I fooling myself? Am I running from life? Can meditation turn into an addiction of sorts?

@Solace I want you to know, that the last post touched me. I can very much relate to your journey. Keep going, you are not alone in this!

@Shroomdoctor sounds like something is coming out, it'a great! You could help it out too. Play some sad music and dance, express what you feel through your body let it come. When you move like that the cry, whine and so on will come spontaneously and release.

The man with no self I met a man without a self. He lost it by accident. One day it just fell away. What we are striving for so much he got spontaneously. He tells me about the way he sees life. Sometimes he asks me if I have any questions. I try to find one and I come across emptiness only. He crushes my questions like flies.

@Ibn Sina Peace

@Solace Thank you for sharing this. I feel like I am following my greatest excitement by just sitting right now. I can dive much deeper and then bring that depth into the world. But as you say, the inside is the outside. I must strive to stop making the distinction between sitting and acting in the world. Thank you again!

The struggle inside "I can be strong, I know I can! I'll crash my weakness, I have a plan! I feel so small, I have no will... I can do nothing, my fate is sealed... I failed before, that won't stop me! I'll change this life, just wait and see! I'm here again, broken and sad... Life is unfair, I'm going mad... I see you both. I love you much. My dearest children, just feel my touch."

It can take no time at all, actually. Sit down with a piece of paper and play! Be like a child, without a plan. Just have fun. See what comes up. Do not judge. Don't try to make it fancy or creative. I wrote an entire post about it a while back.

Amazing

Addiction that sets me free I am addicted. I am addicted to junk food. It is a very familiar pattern that plays out now. Often times I fought that behavior so much. Until I saw there is no use. I have no control. There is nothing I can do. And that sets me free.

Sit down, just like that, with no expectation. Allow something to flow out of you. Don't overthink it. Give yourself a break and trust that something will come up spontaneously.

Overflowing with love I will be honest. I did not expect that. My mind is litteraly being blown away by love. By love to nothing in particular, simply love. I am like a mad man. Smiling, laughing, singing. Love is eating me up. If I don't come back, it consumed me completly. I love you all.

To remind myself I am not the only one on this path. The forum gives me a lot of inspiration to keep going. So thank you everyone for being here!

Dalai Lama

Thank you for all your answers. I basically wish to make my body work as efficiently as possible, so that consciousness work can continue with no hindrances. I wish that for all of you also!

The Pursuit of Conciousness It is a journey, which I started not knowing what I was getting myself into. If I knew what it takes, I am sure I wouldn't be here. The mind is a tricky fellow. It is strong. It sets so many traps. Every day it finds a way to pull me back. It seems impossible to go on. Yet there is another force - subtle, invisible. Although the mind fights so vigoriously, the path continues. It is like I have a secret ally, who helps me out constantly. Reminds me what is important and sends the right circumstances my way every day. This could be easily overlooked, as the mind is so loud, but it is here nontheless. Thank you secret ally! Thank you for your silent presence. Thank you. Thank you.

For me letting go is - a big, big outbreath. Kind of like the last one you would ever have.

You do not want to replace the bad habits. That is just you not accepting them and wanting to get rid of them. It stems in fear. What you need to do is understand them. Sit with the pull of the addiction until you felt all the pain underneath and it is gone. Then you have a very pure space for the high-conciousness activities you want. Watch Leo's ''Fake Growth vs Real Growth'' and the one about addictions. It IS brutal. It is needed. About the stepping stone to God. That's a common trick the mind plays. There is no stepping stone. There is no distance from I to I. When the mind says - ''This is not it, we need a stepping stone.'' - do not believe.

I really feel with you. My family also pushes me to eat more telling me I am too skinny. Some rather unhealthy habits can come from a pressure like that I think.

"I am always here and now. You - abandoned? I can' t see how. And when you feel you don' deserve me, I'll be here and now as surely as always. - Peace"

Panic engulfed in peace I am broke. I don' t have a job. There is a slight sense of panicking, but... everything is ok. It is hard to explain. The situation is confusing. I feel I should be lost in fear, yet the peace won't go. This calmness is just not fitting for a situation like this. I am in serious trouble here, yet I feel... grateful, joyful, good.