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Do you find that after doing kriya your concentration/meditation you do at the end is actually deeper than if you would meditate just by itself? I have been practicing for only about 2 weeks, but so far I have a feeling I coould reach the same states with pure meditation.

Understanding Myself Retfeat 4+5+6 I did not follow the plan I laid out. Why? Life happens But I am off sugar now. How? With a strong will and determination? No. It's more like I forgot about it.

Fascinating! Keep us updated

As I listend to different enlightened people I see a pattern. Some seemed to have reached a state of profound peace and contentment, but other say that there is more and that if you dive deep enough, you can get to "out of this world bliss and love". My question is: Is there someone here who experiences constant bliss?

I am just curious how you do find out about an event like that?

Thank you all for your responses. It's really interesting to hear your experiences, although I underatand we can never convey to each other what we exactly mean. I mostly created this topic to remind everyone that there could always be more to your awakening than where you are at. (I was inspired by Jan Essman's interview on BATGAP where he talks about very physical bliss he is experiencing all the time and where he states how easy it is to get stuck at experiencing pure peace and thinking that's it.)

I just watched an interview with Jan Essman, a shaktipat master. He mentioned that earlier in his meditations he would get what he called "unconscious samadhi". He described it just as you do. There would be just nothing, but he was sure he wasn't sleeping.

Equanimity I first learned this word on a Vipassana retreat. It basically means staying neutral whatever happens. If you look at my last post, you will see a good example of unequanimity. I got excited becauase a new door open up for me. My mind grabbed that chance immediately and started going monkey-mode for a long time. Ultimately nothing is bigger than anything else. Nothing has more significance than anything else. No future potential situation can be more important than Now.

Ok, it really seems I don't know anything. I am sitting and looking, but I really don't get anything. What about you, awakened people? Do you know something? What do you know? Do you know what reality is? Do you know what thoughts are? How do you know?

I found my path Yesterday I was taking a shower when I understood the step I have to take. I understood what my Life Purpose is. The first thing I thought after the realization was: "Oh shit. This is bad." Why did I think that? Because this single moment changed everything. I understood what I am to do. And it is radical. There is no turning back now that I know. My life has changed in an instant. I will not be able to live the way I intended now that I see clearly my way. There is an enormous excitment and a similary huge fear. This IS the big leap.

Understanding Myself Retreat 3 I sat in SDS for 45 minutes and had to change position. My knee was hurting bad and I was worried I would do some damage. After another 40 minutes of sitting and warching the breath I inquired into my nature and was blown into my being. The rest of the evening was the beauty of being in that place.

Go shaman. Try out journeying, discover power animals, guides and ultimately you can maybe get to dieties in the same way. Why do you want to communicate with dieties?

Listen to the Current... ...not the hungry ghost.

Thanks for your answers. I have a strong need to understand, but as I see from your replies I will never achieve it the way I expect. Oh well, back to meditating!

Understanding Myself Retreat 2 I sat in my SDS for 80 minutes. It felt like an open surgery. I am physicaly addicted to junk food. It goes deep into my body. I sat and sat and the fight was raging inside of me. I watched. After the 80 minutes (I know, should have been 90) I got up to write in my journal. After journaling I went to bed. But it was not over. Far from it. My mind was crusifing me. There was a huge struggle going on. And I said: "That's it. I give up the fight. Whatever happens, let it happen. I choose to be happy anyways." And then I lay. And suddenly my body got up and I ran to a store and got cookies. I ate them with no guilt whatsoever. I was just focused on my intention of being happy regardless. In conclusion, my behavior is continuing, but my attitude is changing. I see that very soon the physical manifestation will follow.

@Nahm That's twisting my mind. Another way to phrase my question would be: Do you have a sense you understand what is?

Great share! Thank you!

@Privet Get well soon and meantime take it easy. You deserve a break

Bufo revealed my voice "aha, Aha, AHA! Of course. Of course. Yes..." These are the words that appeared in my consciousness as I was slipping into Nothingness. It was the last thing I experienced. I said them in my own voice! A deep deep voice that I don't use usually, but which was so much me. Today as I was stretching I let out a sigh which came in this voice again. My true voice. And I remembered Bufo again.

In this video Adyashanti talks about it. You just keep your retreat attitude. It's lile you never left the retreat. The whole world is your retreat.

Understanding Myself Retreat 1 I was working yesterday evening, so my plan was not realized fully. As I was walking from work I experienced cravings seeing all the restaurants and shops. I could resist as the intention and wanting to understand was greater than the desire to eat. I sat in SDS for 30 minutes only as it was late and I was tired after work. Really fealing the discomfort and wanting to understand it can turn any unpleasant experience into a most exciting one. That is the power of curiosity.

There is peace. Always. Sometimes it gets hidden a little, but it is always smiling in the background.

Understanding Myself Retreat Plan Goal: To understand what it is that I am running from in the evenings. Method: 90 minutes SDS + 10 minutes JOURNALING 20:00 Strong Determination Sitting 21:30 Quick Journaling 21:40 Sound Sleep morning Updating This Journal

Contemplating the cold After a hot, hot shower I switch to the second extreme. Ice cold water is pouring over me. It is unbearable. And then I ask: "What is this cold?". It becomes nothing. It hurts noone. I am immune.

Any specific ones you would recommend?