okulele

The end of my psychedelic journey Is this the end of my exploration of the psychedelic realms? Since at least 5 years I have been playing around with psychedelic drugs. Firt, it was purely recreational, but then the damn things started waking me up. Throwing me into states of nothingess and making me more and more curious. Finally, one day a 200mcg dose of LSD gave me a very conscious wake up call and changed my life. At this point, I continued to take psychedelics, but now with a very noble goal in mind. I will achieve enlightenment with their help! Countless doses of psilocybin, LSD and 1P-LSD were ingested. A few months ago I went for the big guns! ME! I will take Bufo Alvarius! And I did. It was not what I expected. Since that time I planned on tripping several times, but always gave it up eventually. It just didn't feel right. I intuitively knew, that it was not the thing to do. I was still very much attached to the idea of tripping, so I planned for it again and again found myself giving the notion up. I think I have been convinced, when the Satguru I meet told me clearly, that psychedelics have showed me what I needed to see and that is it. She has a way of putting things right into your face and there is no more denying. Also some of my dreams symbolically suggested a couple of times of the dangers psychedelics could pose to me now. I guess that is it, my psychedelic ego! I have been identified with you strongly for a long time, but maybe it is time I let you go.

Super cool. That is some very meaningful insights you got there in the jungle! That is what I call growth! Congratulations

Getting lost is the most wonderful and memorable part of travel. That is where the miracle happens.

Try Byron Katie's The Work for emotions. Or maybe Loving Kindness meditation?

Healing for the ears Our sound-environment is polluted with constant, unnatural noise. Relax with these soothing sounds transmitted straight from Africa, my dear eardrums

Good job, keep going! If you stick with meditation for long enough, it will sooner or later reveal the greatest treasure of life.

The whole thing with no knowing is that you don't know that you don't know. How do you go about that?

Trying to awaken ---> awakening The strangest, most mindblowing thing I am discovering on this path of awakening is this: I am not in control. And possibly, I never was. The Truth is expressing itself without my will. What was once a practice is now much more a process happening to me. Inquiry is eating me alive and there is no way or reason to stop it. Faith is developing and with that the willingness to let go, to surrender, to trust. It feels good. Very, very good. Only now I see how much fear I was in for the majority of my life. I don't know where this is going, but it feels good and I choose not to oppose it.

It is one of the key techniques presented in SantataGamana's books.

My teachers words: "People come to me and say - Where is my liberation? I've been meditating for ten years! I tell them - It takes a thousand."

Enlightenment intensive The only thing this type of retreat gets from me is praise. This is a system designed to purely pursue Truth. Although I did not get the enlightenment experience, boy was it effective! No wonder some of the participants did (in just 3 days of rigorous contemplation). I would like to share my experience of day 4, after the intensive: All the participants, the master and the monitors where sitting in a circle. The consciousness of the room was so thick, you could cut it with a knife. Every heart was wide open. ... I actually don't know what to write. I was so aware of the Truth connecting us all and the same Truth expressing itself uniquely in the perfectly flawed individuals. The closest that I felt like this was on MDMA. So much love and recognition of one another. It showed me clearly what this world can be when the human hearts start opening on a big scale. Let's do it! Let's open them up and live in Truth and joy together!

"The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt" by Edmund Morris this one inspired me so much!

The Guru is within We all heard the saying "The Guru is within". Let me share my experience... Interacting with the Satguru was amazing. It is as if she was the first person ever to listen to me. And there was a special way in which she listened. I could not figure it out for some time, later I decided to label it compassion. The other day I was frustrated and sad sitting in my room. My mind was complaining and taking pity on itself. Suddenly, in between the thoughts, I noticed a presence. It was the Satguru's presence! It was the silent, listening presence of compassion. It was just there. Just there, being, listening, loving. Not criticizing and not even saying - "Yes, yes! Tell me more! Let's work it out!". It was just there. That is why the Guru is valuable. She does not teach in a conventional way. She is just there. And in being just there, she awakens the "just there" in you. Automatically. Naturally.

The Heart I remember meditating in a Thai monastery about one and a half year ago. Suddenly I realized, I was looking out of my chest. Not visually, but it seemed that I was residing there while moving around. I mentioned it to my teacher and got the same answer I got to every other comment - "Notice and label." Nowadays my awareness goes to my Heart more and more frequently. It is pleasant, it is instinctual, it is very natural. Spirituality is natural actually and shedding our ego, although sometimes painful, is natural. What does it feel like to reside in the Heart? It feels like I am in this world. Only in my Heart do I realize that I was not in this world at all most of my life. It feels like I am this body. Only in my Heart do I realize that I was not in this body at all most of my life. It feels like I am safe. Only in my Heart do I realize that I was afraid most of my life. So afraid. It feels just like this:

How did you come across Kriya?

This person... I met the Satguru three times by now. The first time I left, I was laughing in the streets. So much joy was coming out! The second time, I broke down and started to cry not being able to contain myself before the meeting ended. I left as I didn't want to disturb others. Today, the third time, I left confused and lost. I was angry at her. What a heart-less woman! Only now am I coming to my sense and seeing how she served me by giving this tremendous blow to my ego. Lessons to be learned? The ones who hurt you the most deserve your warmest namaste.

Ramana Maharshi. Not so much his teachings, but just looking at his photo makes me meditative.

Thank you for your kind comment. It is greatly appreciated

Well don't give. Have patience and faith. You will get there

Yeah. Good point, but there is certainly a chunk of blue fundamentalism there.

As we all heard, turquoise likes colaboration and often creates communities. Is anyone here part of such a community or has experience with one? Care to share some experiences?

What I mean is why are you here on the forum and not in the cave? What's keeping you? The decision to leave everything is not a simple one. We are too atached.

@Salvijus Yeah, let's buy some land and set up an Actualized.org monastery

What are you talking about?

@St Clair Super cool, man. I think every one of us has a unique way of expression, so consider it "a secret power of your own psyche" Let the creativity flow!