Barbarian Number 8

@pluto Good and true point. It is also my impression that being into selfactualization also leads to a more lonely life. Maybe it would be good to ask how many in here, are in a relationship? I could counter with pointing out that for any biological lifeform to be successful it needs to reproduce.....but....closer to the truth would be mother wanting grandchildren and me getting older. The timewindow for making a family happen are about to close. So if I am going to explore this aspect of life, I better hurry up. I don´t care about being a successful lifeform, but maybe rather the experience.

@Spiral I actually tried the library, but, ja not an easy place to find targets and hit on them. I looked up your meetup.com tip and there may be something, thank You! Will explore that some more. Althou I have learned to stay away from the new age girls. I found them to like the label of spriritualism but not really going anywhere with it.

@ZX_man I think that it nowdays is something that is needed to avoid boredom. It used to be needed for survival. If alone, the dinosours would easily eat you. They say that most households in Sweden are those of single people. I guess it may be different in mediterranean countries and so on?

@Aquarius The fruitsection! I would like a girl to say hi when I buy my daily daily greens and fruits. She needs to say hi and have some question about when something is ripe or so. Mention that you are single and likes men. Jaa, that pretty much will do it. Before you know it you´ll buy your first potato together and live happily ever after. Come back after the weekend and tell us how you did!

No it was not. But I don´t think that you liked or comprehended it. It really is not the time in your development to do so. ...hmmm....wait a minute...jaa...you are right...it was useless to you. Read my reply in ten years time. I will collect my "Thanks in advance" at that time, beacuse then I can (hopefully). If you like to get part of my reply: look into RSD and keep study Leos clips about selfdevelopment. To your question : "How do i go about becoming a complete player"... Leo got one clip about pickup artists. It will give a good picture of that level of thinking.

@LaucherJunge I will look into it. Thank you for the tip!

@Shir ...-soooo?....are you saying somebody else, like the state, are paying him or that he works for free? Hmmm? Free mental hooker? I want one too! A pretty one. _That_ one! Kidding aside, what I am getting at is that hired guns operate one way and friends/family who are in ones life operate another way. They may like you for different reasons and it would be benificial to see the difference. We all live in symbiosis with one another, but when one party needs the other, it gets wierd. Perhaps you should look outside your bubble to find somebody to love? Somebody who got nothing to do with your pain&problems and sees YOU first? I am hinting at here that you are not your problem, like you are not the bubblegum stuck under your shoe. Also, have you noticed the world is full of people? Ja. Just like him? Ja. Better ones? Ja. Can You use your pain&problems to get contact with them, just like the doctor? Should you? Why?

Dear Mr. @Butters, you have managed to build a base that secure your base needs and now you seems to believe it to be homeostasis and selfish? You need that base, of lower(?) consciousness needs, to be covered in order to reach a higher consciousness wants. There is another level to be built upon the base....or _many_ other levels, actually. Leo got a clip of the matter. I know it is a tricky thing to climb up from the abyss, build a good base and then the thought comes "was THAT it"? And then feeling empty. Maybe that is normal? But when you rested up after the climb and really get that you are safe, looking up and going into the "new" world state is very nice exploring. It basicly sums down to two questions: Would you rather focus on starwing? or Would you like to focus on leveling up?

@billiesimon You might be acting clingy and desperate. Tone it down and see what happens.

@Marinus -Lissen up Girlie man and lissen good (sounding like Arnold) . You are not sleeping on the floor. It is a test. Mouse or man. Get in bed, make a move. If she don´t let you into the bed, leave and don´t look back. If she let you into bed but rejects your move, leave and don´t look back. It would be funny if you made her sleep on the floor at your house thou.... like @pluto said. haha!

@Omario You are wierd and probably have a pimple on your nose too. You are supposed to be like that at that age. The spotlight-effect will pass and if you are outgoing you will loose the wierdness faster. I agree with @SFRL , she probably liked you. Later in life, you will think it very funny that a girl who teased you scared the poop out of you You need two basic things, besides time, to remedy this: 1. Get a life. 2. Become a person with substance. This one is connected to time thou. Life experience comes with it. Also see point 1. Happy growing!

@Shir Consider that he is paid to give you his undivided atention and to interact with you in a beneficial way. I am not saying that you paid for a "mental-hooker"....but....seeing a paralell might help? No money, no honey. Also, people in bad/lonely situations tend to cling/fixate onto anyone showing them kindness.

@LaucherJunge "I am highly intuitive, one of the reasons I don't actually need and want any pickup is because I see trough people really fast and usually don't even need to approach them to see into their soul." "At the moment I am not interested in reproducing, as I said, I am not about the mating, I am about bonding." If you can do that easily, you are probably in a very bad or a too familiar enviroment. Maybe consider to change biome? Ja, a lot of people are very "robotic" and can easily and boringly so, be catagorized. That is a problem. However I am, myself very intriged when finding a new spicies or sub-spicies. Also, sometimes I make stupid missjudgements. Traveling is very good. There are quite a lot of new ones to discover and to discover oneself throu. I would consider mating being an integral part of bonding. So I wonder what your perspective (hmm..not quite the word to translate what I mean, but close) is in the matter. How/why do you exclude the component? Hmmm? Did you get my question, or did I put it together in a clumsy way?

@Serotoninluv I just like to say that people like you tend to make the world a happier place to live in, sooooo....don´t change _too_ much, ok?

You made some good points, thank you! By "neutral" i mean "not affected but fully aware and working", in balance/Equilibrium for me it would also be neatrul even after a degree of motivators poked me. Like hunger, naked boobs and a letter from the taxoffice. I do think motions can be neutral, in a sort of way. Example, if you tell a hilarius joke to a comedian, they can respond with "that´s funny" and internally appriciate it, but not really laughing until they pee themselves. Peaceful happy? I had to think on that one and would put it on the positive end. It´s mirror close would then be peaceful unhappy? hmmm...close I guess. It does not fit my model. So I have to think on it some more. hmmmm...maybe "mellow" would be a better label to use?

Add minimalism. hmmm...sounds wierd..... but downsizing and cleaning up your livingspace do wonders for the mind and also for the wallet. Somebody said that the nofap might make your eyeballs pop out of your head and also will lit your nose on fire....well...they didn´t put it precisely like that....but...that is how I percived it. Point being; keep updating your soldiers. Anything else is wierd and will mess with your energy. Walking will be good. It also tricks the mind to believe it has a purpose and give you a calm energy.

Depends on age, in what biome you live, what you eat, how fast you loose, scincare and some things that I forgot. btw, Good Luck! I am trying myself

hmmm...Soooo, if you came and lived in Sweden for a year, your sunchild core would crash? (we like rain and rain with darkness and rain with cold and....do you know the MontyPython bit about spam?....ja, it´s like that...rain...) I don´t think that suffering is the normal state. I believe that neutral is. Althou I do think the negative state dominates in western society.

@Serotoninluv You may be percived to lack emphaty when you do so. And a failure to connect with her occur. Maybe a way would be _not_to try to remedy her low-temporary-feelings, but to accept, aknowledge and let them pass? So tending to your emmident discomfort may lead to a less desirable result longterm? What is the saying? "be the mountain, let her be the wind"...or something like that

I would give the same answear to that state. I believe it to be a "forced state" (to strong label, but I can´t come up with a better translate). Perhaps we could look at the states as plus and minus with neutral being effortless? One could have a stronger draw to negative or positive when stuff happens, but if neutral is the default state how would you deem a persons core to be when stimuly tip the scale, so to speak?

alcoholics are often very selfcentered, cowards and of weak childish mind. Family is just used by them to get to the bottle. You pretty much lost that one. It is not your place to help. When you can leave......Arrange your life in a way that exclude the drunk and whatever you do...keep...your...own...money..... Your money is your survival. Nocontact rule works here. Not knowing and asking anything via thirdparty also is a must. If that not is possible, dump them to. As time passes, you might feel the biological urge to reconnect. Don´t. Take pictures of your drunk, at several occations, put them in a scrapbook or map. When you get that feeling of forgivness/"it wasn´t so bad", look at the pictures of the drunk and reconsider. Always know that you yourself carry the same weakness. Be mindfull. Good luck. You will need it.

It is a really interesting thread you came up with. I see my old self in some of it. -Yes I do believe that you will attract someone like you. But will you actually recognice it? Furthermore, attracting seems to me to be a passive form. Would "looking/hunting" for not also be a good thing to add? I partly define animal like you did, but would also like to add "primitive sub routines and lowlvl thinking", because we talk about humans. What I am getting at, is that some aspects of finding a mate is ruled på evolutionarysubroutines running in the background. They can be of benefit if understood. I respect your virgin-value-messurement. but would like you to consider dropping it for optimal partner compability. I have found that the mating procedure helps in the selection of mate and also gives insights to self preferences. It is something like the difference between a theorymodel and reality. You might consider flexibility in your efforts, due to limited reproducing window and finite lifespan.

@krish Maybe we simply are designed to need God? Like hardcoded to. Considering God is not a recent invention. It is interesting to examine the type of society we had (in northern Europe) just 40-80 years ago to the one we have now. When I was litle, we didn´t lock the door, not even at night and murder was a national event. Now...it is like in America.

@Alii Funny idéa! Interesting to see how litle a packanimal does on it own. Althou it was only one occation showed, I doubt that a cat, whom are individualistic in their base orientation, would act like that.

@Star Net There is a time and place for everything. It usually starts with awareness, desire, trying/playing/contenplating with new skill, taking in feedback, adjusting&calebrating and then implementing the usefull parts for as long as they are usefull and constantly improving and calibrating the parts. Some parts stay for long, some for a short time and some for reacurring times. Yes, you can (sometimes) see what parts other people got and lack in this forum. But I consider this place to be a safe labratory. Where everybody tinker with the same components. Sometimes things just blow up in the face. Failure is how I learn. Other people, like Leo, can show me cool things, but I have to try them out myself and fit them into my current makeup and timeline. My teacher Mr. Failure will, rudely so, tell my to change shit around or wait for a better later time, if so needed. I would not judge peoples "success" by their "product" in the forum but rather on the life they live. Some people are good at talking and pretending but not implementing. In that they are failures. I see it everyday at work.