Knock

@Autumn Congratz Autumn! Do you still go on other social websites like Youtube, reddit, twitch.tv? What did you replace your time with? Did you find you started to use forums and read blogs more?

@tsuki Thank you for your responses tsuki, they have been very helpful I need to learn to listen to my feelings more, perhaps they hold more wisdom than I am aware of.

@SageModeAustin This sounds like a cool idea! How is your trip going? Would you mind giving us an update of the success and failures, experiences and learnings you have made so far?

@tsuki Not at all. It is because I feel a lack of integrity in what I am doing that provoked me to ask this question. However, I know that integrity comes from your values. I am worried that my values may be false and ungrounded with the reality of life. If I am the only one in the company that has a problem with this issue, logically I think it is me that holds the wrong belief, and not the company. I am very unsure, and would like some guidance.

I also agree. Leo utilising his many hours of focused intellectual growth and insights into commonplace and practical areas would provide a great service to humanity for the many of us that are stuck in getting our lower needs met. Although his older videos are reasonably good, I am sure his newfound wisdom would produce empowering videos that can really provoke real change and make a difference. However unfortunately this won't happen. Leo doesn't make the videos for us or at our level. He makes it for himself and at his level.

The reason to sell the product would be to increase my pay and keep my job. In that light, I would like to sell the product.

You know how you spend your days searching the internet for the 'Truth'? This is it. This is the most profound thing I have ever read. Read every word of it. Thank you for sharing@Enlightenment <3

I know this wasn't addressed to me, but I loved and really resonated with your thoughtful response@Nahm

Fundamentally, I see pick-up culture as a selfish game used to sort out your own neurotic problems (low self-esteem, social anxiety, etc) and that undermines real human connection. I tried to understand the PUA culture by looking at some forums and videos online, and I was disgusted at what I saw. I find a lot of the material is quite dehumanising/patronising about girls, objectifying them and making them seem more primalistic then they really are. I don’t know the right words to describe it, but they view women as ‘just a bunch of numbers’ and that you need to maximise your numbers to ‘win the prize’, like pawns in a game. Do they considered that perhaps some women don’t want to be approached? Or that women can see through your game, but for forced to play in it? Like an unsolicited disruption in a conversation. It’s like they tried to use this idea of sales calls and quotas from business and success philosophy and apply it to social relationships. These are humans, they have souls, they are not objects to be used for your own game. My girlfriend was telling me about her experiences going out clubbing to dance, which is all about letting loose and away from the demands of the world. But, it seems like dancing has been hijacked by PUA culture (or maybe it’s always been there). She can’t go out and dance without getting approached by half a dozen guys or so, and no, she isn’t dressing slutty or giving any indications. She was telling me how there were times that she was in a trance-like state just melting into the music, only to be purposely bumped into, approached or disrupted by some guy wanting her attention. I am not here to criticise, despite how I write, but to understand. Obviously, I am not seeing the full picture here and have some strong biases and beliefs. Please enlighten me on this topic.

Leo taught me to see us all as chimps. I am just a self-aware chimp.

For a pragmatic approach, I would use the website extension called 'DFTube'. It turns off all the addiction hooks, and turns YouTube into a search bar. This forces you to be intentional with your attention, and not to get swept away by auto play or recommended videos.

Marketing manipulates weaknesses in the human psyche, with great success. Would you count that as failure?

Books - So good they can't ignore you (Cal Newport) Goals - have a morning habit or ritual that starts your day with a 'win'. Advice to younger self - watch your diet! It is really easy to gain weight once you start working a 9-5 desk job.

Stephen Covey defined authenticity as acting in alignment with your principles/values. If your values are unethical or immoral, they you have shitty values and need to change them.

Curious, what is your definition of a scam? If I care a lot about if an item has value to you as a customer, will you give me a hug or pay more for it?

Are you talking to your shadow? I'm confused at who this is addressed at.

As some encouragement and for those who are curious, I thought I might share how ColdTurkey has helped me overcome by Youtube addiction. I used to obsessively browse hour after hour of YouTube. As a new years resolution I vowed not to go on Youtube for a year, and put it on a block list on Cold Turkey. Here are my past 6 month results: If you are wondering what's with the spikes lately, I have exams next week

I see taxes are repayments for all the abundance and opportunities we are have in the modern world. I am so thankful for all the contributions of those citizens in years before me in enabling me to have such a comfortable and safe life. I owe my life to public funded goods. I had a near life threatening situation, so I caught a public train to see a public surgeon. I was then able to buy publicly subsidised medicine while I recovered, all the while being supported by the government on a study allowance while I attended university on an interest free loan. To claim taxation as theft wouldn't be anything less than pure self-entitlement.

@Shaun Just a word of caution. Most financial planners are not worth their fees. They will try and up-sell you for other services, especially insurance and retirement fund management (called superannuation here in Australia). I wouldn't recommend going to one, but if you do, make sure they are an independent adviser. Those that are part of banks will only sell their own products, which may not be the best fit for you (nor the best price). Any adviser that talks about 'active asset management' thinking they can beat the market is either deluded or dishonest. Passive & diversified management may sound boring and 'unsexy', but its most likely to lead you to the highest growth over a long term horizon. What kind of investments do you have in mind Shaun? What are are you expecting, and why?

Very good question, I was thinking about the same thing earlier today. Although I may come across resistant, my perspective has definitely widened thanks to this conversation. I especially now understand the drive of why people get into pick-up, and how it may be necessary growth for some as they learn to find themselves. I have also come to realise why pick-up is so masculine intensive, as many boy's have not matured their masculinity throughout childhood, and pick-up is just one of many paths to do so. I see it like a pendulum swing. For those who have been holding themselves back for a long time, a long swing may be necessary. Eventually in time, they will find an appropriate middle ground. Until then, we must be understanding and compassionate for where they are in their growth.

@Key Elements @flowboy I go out to clubs because I love the music and atmosphere. It is not true (for me at least) that I am there for the attention, or wanting to be involved in any game. I think it is the unfortunate fact for music lovers (of EDM) that pick-up is infused with clubbing. Acknowledging that is the case, I am seeking to understand pick-up culture more with these posts.

+1 “We sit with our friends discussing the rules but no one even knows what game we’re trying to play, Because the problem with our generation not wanting relationships is that, at the end of the day, we actually do.” I appreciate the effort in sharing those videos. They definitely resonated with me.

There is a lot going on here, so I won't be able to explain how it all works in depth. Some may seem silly and weird, but is what has worked for me. So here is a quick list: Technology tools: · DF Tube – Distraction Free Youtube. Blocks autoplay, recommended videos, trending videos, comments and more. I have mine customised so it is just a search bar. · Cold Turkey – Free software that blocks specified websites for a set time. Technological tricks: · Clear desktop on computer. Nothing within immediate sight that can distract you, · Clean phone home screen. Same as above · Grayscale phone. Most phones had a settings menu where you can change all colour to grayscale. This lowers appeal of browsing on your phone = less dopamine = less addictive draw. · Removing all trash content from your Facebook News Feed. Personally, I just unfollowed every page except close friends. However there are some apps that can do this for you. · Delete social media apps from you phone. You can delete the Facebook app but still have the Messenger app (most people use this over texting nowadays). · Long phone password. Use something like “myintentionis” or “Ihavefullintention”. This one has worked really well for me as I have to consciously think about what I am doing when I take out my phone. Yes it is a pain in the arse, that is the point. Practical tricks: · Put your laptop away in its case out of sight before you go to bed. Same with your phone. Personally I put them in a drawer that is hard to get to without effort. · Get a separate alarm clock. These are cheap, no excuses. Use it to wake up instead of your phone (otherwise you will browse your phone instead). · Have a ‘shutdown’ time for your laptop or phone. Something like no screens after 9pm. · Have the better alternative right in sight. Personally, I have my workout clothes already laid out before I go to sleep. This works too with a journal or book. Psychology · Obviously, all these tricks won’t work in the long term until you reprogram your psychology. I highly recommend reading books on dopamine addition and creating habits. · The books that helped me the most were: o Any 3 of Cal Newports latest books o The Shallows, by Nicolas Carr o Atomic Habits by James Clear · Fundamentally, what you want to do is make the additions undesirable and hard to do, and make the new actions you want to take more desirable and easy to do. There is a lot to this all, and its not a quick fix. It took me many months to overcome my internet addictions and establish a healthy relationship with using technology and the internet. One last thing, I would not recommend anyone to give up the internet entirely. I have tried many times and it always results in bad ego backlashes. The internet is a tool, you just need to learn how to use it appropriately, instead of letting it hijack your brain and use you. I wish you all the best.

It is about the intention of your attention. It is okay to watch some Youtube or google something on the internet, if you are coming to it with intention for a specific task. When you are coming to it out of boredom, and your only intention is 'entertain me internet', then you will never have enough, and you will get addicted. Conscious awareness of your actions is the key, but that is harder said then done. The trick I apply is to use tools that create 'friction' between mindlessly doing tasks. The few seconds spent on overcoming the friction can be enough to bring awareness to your actions and to choose right action instead. I can list some friction tools and tactics that I am using and worked for me in the past if you are interested.