Knock

Will watching 50 shades of grey be enlightening?

The trick to being a consistent reader is to just read what you are currently interested in. If you read books because someone told you to, then you won't enjoy it and it will feel like a chore. Self-help knowledge has less to do with the content, and more to do with the timing and applicability in your life. Lots of financial books ultize systems thinking via money psychology. If you are interested in money, that might be a good point to start.

Interesting. Merely the thought of someone being there is enough to cause you problems. This is a great representation of how social anxiety works. It's not the other people are physically stopping you from peeing . It's your internal thoughts about these people that causes blockages in your body. When we are anxious, we tense up. Our muscles and body systems don't work in unison, and this has real effects. Stress and anxiety has real effects on our body, even if the threat isn't real and just a thought. It is not that others are judging you, it is that you are judging yourself. This is insecurity. Tackle the insecurity, and the issue will resolve itself. As a practical tip, you can redirect your conscious attention away from thinking about others perception of you by giving your mind something else to work on. For example, you can try saying the alphabet backwards, or mathematically keep doubling numbers until you have to rack your brain on working out the answer. This will give your conscious mind something to focus on so as to let your subconscious mind do its thing

If no one else is there, do you still find it hard to pee? @F A B

Depends where you work and what type you do, but in today's interconnected age, social skills are very important, I would say more important than degrees. If you are doing your best, getting along with your colleagues, getting what you need done, and the boss is happy with it, I wouldn't worry about thinking about others thoughts about you.

Buy the camper-van for $7,000, sell for $12,000, put the $5,000 profit into your farm fund.

A few points: Politically, I see Australia is more progressive as a whole. Culturally, especially in rural regions, there is still a lot of blue. The youth are very progressive and politically engaged, especially in the cities Although Australia has tight drug protection and control, one of the state's has legalized personal use cannabis. I expect the other 7 will follow suit over the coming year. As others have mentioned, tall poppy syndrome is real

A lot of deep questions there, let's break it down: Its not the 'unconsciousness' here, it's the groundedness, assertiveness and confidence you are attracted to. You are attracted to it, because you disown it in yourself, but you deep down want it. Theory about learning how to swim might help your confidence when you go into the water, but you need to actually jump in the water a number of times and thrash around before you 'really' figure it out. It's not glamorous, it's uncomfortable and scary, but that's life. Trying to be seen as non-biased is the lower version of yourself. It's based on fear and avoidance of judgement. It leads to analysis paralysis and is a direct road block to taking action. Notice how your questions point to underlying fears of failure. You don't have to compartmentalize yourself, you need to get out of your head and get more grounded. Put your swimmers on, grab some floaties, and jump in the pool. Life is lived in the pool, not by sitting on the edge watching others. Good luck

There is a difference between being nice, and being a people pleaser. People pleaser act out of a place of desperation to avoid confrontation. This is what most 'nice guys' do, and quite frankly they are incredibly boring. When you lack the courage to be yourself and say what you think out of fear of upsetting others, you basically become a nobody. A forgettable guy who holds no opinion and has no distinguishing personality. So how do you stop being a nice guy? First of all, stop being fake and agreeing with everyone, start saying what you think and doing what you want. If what you say and think is rubbish, then you have some work to do on yourself. Secondly, start working on yourself, so what you authenticity say and think is socially acceptable and attractive. When you think of an attractive and high quality guy, what types of things does he do? Now just pick 1 or 2 things that resonate with you and work on that. Try doing things outside the house that you are interested in, so that you start to develop some character. Honestly, 'nice guy syndrome' is a whole can of worms and often requires an approach from multiple angles. Tackle one thing at a time and keep at it. Good luck

Theory is great if its intentionally sort out to solve a problem. The problem occurs when you jump on a forum or watch videos without intention. You are basically saying to the internet "entertain me". It's the lazy man's learning, and it is very slow and unproductive. The better approach is to have intention with your attention. To consciously use the internet/books to seek out a pressing problem or question that you have. Why dig through rubbish when you can directly access the gold.

@Serotoninluv That was a fantastic analogy, thank you!

Lately I have been feeling inner tension towards 2 of my housemates that I need help reconciling as I am unaware of how to resolve this problem. I think it might help to give a bit of background of who they are: The 2 guys are a gay Asian couple that have been living here longer than me (I’ve been in this house for a bit over a year). They are a bit socially awkward, 1 has mental health issues and doesn’t work, the other works part time, but they are kind and keep the house clean. They occupy the house a lot and have converted one of the lounge rooms into a home gym (I don’t mind, I never go into the lounge rooms anyway). One was quite overweight, the other very skinny, until about 6 months ago when they decided to start working out with their new home gym. What is irking me is the narcissism they are exhibiting at home walking around in sleeveless shirts, flexing in the mirror and taking selfies in the bathroom. Having to hear one of them on the walker every night and then walking around with their chests puffed out wearing shirts 2 sizes too small to show off their tiny muscles. For some reason, this is making me angry/irritated, but I can’t quite put my finger on it as to why. I have always been taught modesty when growing up, that being vain is being self-absorbed and such actions are immature. Perhaps this is the reason? I don’t believe its jealously or envy either. I work out 4x/week and am considerably stronger and leaner than both of them. I wouldn’t want their body, even if you gave me a million bucks, so I don’t see this the case. I know that they are just proud of their body transformations, and that the high conscious thing to do is to feel happy for them and compliment them on their efforts and results. I am not sure why I am feeling anger to them. And I am not usually an angry person at all! Can you help me actualized.org?

Cable watching TV has been declining for years. People are now swtiching towards watching Youtube, netflix, and subscription based channels on their computers and iPads instead. Here is an illustration of the decline of People-Using-Television (PUT) over the past 5 years.

I think you are both right here. I identify myself as a modest person who never shows off, as I see boasting as a "sin". I may be inhibiting my own sense of pride (e.g. I am bashful when going to the beach shirtless, despite my impressive physique). Hence, I am projecting my shadow unto the 2 roommates. I believe this is the original source of negative perception towards the 2 housemates. They are LOUD, they talk loudly in their foreign language, blast the TV because they are on the walker, sing when they are in the kitchen, and play their crappy 'free' spotify music on portable speakers. They are also loud in their actions, taking up too much space. The unemployed one is always in the house, spending hours in the kitchen (he loves to cook), spending too long in the bathroom (because he is on his iPad at the same time), and basically never in his own room. I'm not sure if its the introvert within me, but I find always having them 'there', is getting overwhelming, which is why I may be building resentment towards them. My follow up questions is this: How can I overcome my identity as a modest person, and overcome my shadow surrounding narcissism and pride? How can I learn to be okay with loudness of my roommates, even though what they are doing is completely reasonable? (I would look like a real dick-knob if I told them they can't sing in the kitchen or turn the TV up when on the treadmill).

I'm intrigued by what you meant by the above? If they possess social skills, are educated in the area, and is selling this knowledge and expertise to willing buyers, I don't see any problem? A lot of people nowadays are not properly being taught these skills, it's a real big issue. I think this could be a very helpful business that could enrich many lives. @7thLetter In response to your questions about the health benefits, they may not all be 100% true, but inadvertently, socialization does play a major factor in your health. I see it as a fundamental pillar of strength, that supports other areas of health and provides a buffer for the inevitable tough times in life that everyone endures. I think we can all benefit by socialising more with those that enrich our lives.

Great response @Byun Sean Just to add to the above snippet, I think it is important to realize the above in other people too. Just like how you did stupid shit before you awakened, other people are doing stupid shit before they awaken too! To judge them is to judge your former self. This only brings pain. That's why it is so important to accept and forgive your former self, as it instills the capacity to accept and forgive others. When you learn to fully accept and forgive, you increase your capacity to love. Instead of judgement or ridicule, you feel compassion and love for those that are hurting and henceforth acting out doing stupid shit. Such capacity brings forth real inner growth and encourages benevolence unto the world.

What is the purpose of this question? Like, what does other people's subjective views on their own happiness have anything to do with your own self-actualization? (Obviously from my reply you can tell I'm not in a good mood, 3/10).

If reading about personal development on Actualized.org constitutes as work, then I must work 100+ hours a week!

Outsource the marketing and focus on your writing/speaking. If your writing is good, it will more than enough pay for all the good marketing.

@Anton Rogachevski I would say generally, it's the polarity that sparks attraction. That is why, when you see a gay couple, one is typically very feminine, while the other not so much. Similarly with lesbians, one being considerably more butch than the other. I don't know of many both feminine or both masculine couples.

This is my grandiose goal, if everything ran perfect: First I would change myself, so as to be a role model and to not be corrupted by fame, money or power. Next, I will share my wisdom with those around me in my community. If I see it helping them, I know that what I am doing works. Lastly, I will need to scale this to reach millions around the world. Lucky for me there is the internet! However, I will need to be strategic with this, and reach out to common areas where people view content on the internet, such as YouTube, forums and social media. Going on TV and podcasts will also spread the good message. I may need help from people who know marketing, to get them to set up ads and reach as many people as possible. Once everyone is aware of my presence, I will provide them the keys to unlock their consciousness through various techniques and paradigm shifts. (To note: People don't value what is free, so I might have to charge some nominal amount of money [like $19.95/month] for this knowledge so people actually take the time to do these techniques. However I want this to be as accessible as possible.) Additionally, I will infiltrate politics and change rules and regulations around teachings in schools, use of psychedelics, and promoting more conscious living practises. Hmm, now I think of it, this just sounds like a life coaching business...

That's the beauty of life, we can enjoy more than 1 thing! There is no problem of loving both cooking and painting. Now if you are thinking of performing mastery in a skill to establish a career there, then this becomes a different question. It will be a combination of inner passion + market fit. Some domains have greater market fit then others, due to how you can monetize and if there is a need for it. Doing cooking as a career doesn't mean you cant to painting on the side though. And perhaps maybe after a number of years being a chef, you will want a change of pace and can focus on painting more. One can have more than 1 life purpose in your lifetime. However, to really see material results, it is best to master 1 domain at a time, so that your advanced skills stand out from everyone else as both rare and valuable.

@LoveandPurpose I like to think of it more as; "Am I acting neurotically or not?" If you are actually neurotic, it's not your higher authentic self. More specifically, if I didn't care what other people thought, how could I express my highest self without fear of judgement.

No, but that's a great marketing ploy! Give your customers poison (making them feel not good enough) Only you have the antidote (the secret knowledge) The antidote will cost you hundreds of dollars (or hours of labour).

@ugreglo What if all these beliefs are bullshit that leads to depression and a mediocre life? What if you start learning empowering beliefs instead that prime you to take action? What if you learn to love yourself so that your identity is not caught up in ideas of 'betas' and 'chads'?