jperry24

I had a weird experience a few days ago when my wife and 2 year old daughter were having breakfast. I would like to say I experienced enlightenment but now that im back to "normal" it feels like I went crazy. haha. I just all of the sudden I saw everything as a strange loop and instantly became aware that I was aware. I know that sounds obvious but it was a insanely deep understanding, and I started watching my ego/ thoughts loop and bend and panic at what it was seeing. Anyway back to the shamanic breathing, I observed my body instantly and naturally go into the breathing technique in Leo's video and my whole body started tingling and my hands locked up. After a minute or so (time was so confusing) of telling my wife that everything was just a strange loop over and over again (the whole time "I" was just observing myself say that) she told me to go lay down and meditate by myself. Im sure I was freaking my daughter out, she kept asking "are you ok daddy" and I kept telling her I was fine. lol Back to Shamanic breathing, I would say the breathing lasted at least 2 maybe 3 hours. I would come back to reality and slow my breathing down but all of the sudden I would see everything as a loop (myself) again and it would start back up. I felt as if it was caused by my ego seeing the shear magnitude of infinity, and that caused me to breath at a deep and steady but at a fast pace. If anyone could tell me if I actually glimpsed enlightenment that would be great. Its so hard to put everything into words but the main things were: I fully understood that everyone was already enlightened, everything in my life was pointing at enlightenment in a way I cannot explain, I wanted to tell the would what I had discovered but that would be pointless because everything was me, I just am, I could clearly see that language is part of the strange loop and there for part of the BS (as Leo said) so it felt useless to say anything to my wife, I keeped repeating things over and over but it made perfect since to me, I would say to my wife that EVERYTHING IS ENLIGHTENMENT, like what im saying right now and what im saying right now and what im saying right now because its all infinite and that infinity is infinite and those infinity's are infinite and...... you get the point lololol. Also it was the best experience of my "life" and "I" have never felt better in my body, the final thing was I knew for a fact that that was enlightenment and someone could have walked right up and killed me and I would give no Fs. Sorry if this got too long but this is just the tiniest piece of the experience. I have been studying Tantra for a few months now and although we never really got to try Tantric sex(our kido loves to get in the way lol) I started to realize what it is all about and told my wife before the experience that I was going to always put her first and surrender to the Goddess with in her. I feel like that's what started it all, I became super aware of my impending death and felt like if theres anything I wanted to say it had to be right now, then BOOM GOES THE DINOMITE!!! I know im a bad writer.