Sunchild

[On the heels of dorg's post there, which is on the right track] To me becoming totally enraptured was what did it for me-totally drawn into a brand new world of wonders. Anything other than realizing that anything in 123D simply isn't worth getting worked up over is just reshuffling the chairs.

Looking for love in a looking-glass world It's pretty hard to find

Welp, it did for me. Outside revealed itself as Inside.

[This board software is highly non-intuitive, copy and pasting quotes is a royal pain oops I'm suffering!] That's the thing-my childhood was pretty rough. Outcast, teased, self-esteem in the dirt. I hit a nadir in my early twenties, severe depression as my life seemed to be completely imploding. But I didn't off myself like I almost did once, and 10 years later a close encounter with a peregrine falcon sparked a renaissance. That and many numinous encounters to come basically blew materialism for me to pieces, and [essentially] completely blew my psyche and pain out of me. In any event my old pain informs my existence now, but definitely does not determine it. That "neutral state" is simply The Witness. I learned to focus on that as my locus, and not my emotions or attachments per se. I first noticed the Witness during a depressive episode years ago, saw a part of myself simply watching me having my fit. And the tears M-m are still there pretty frequently--usually tho due to something that has completely amazed me. And, as far as trying to date someone who isn't there with you, I've found that that can be a bit daunting.

4 years ago thanks to a specific trigger (which I probably can't do justice to here), I got a bunch of physical symptoms (as my 3D world became a waking dream): stomach rumbles, heart palpitations (both distinct from when I've had purely physical disorders), and most notably deep chills even when I was sitting in front of a fire or full blast heater. Whether that was this kundalini stuff, per se, I cannot really say. It lasted for about a month.

I have. I'm one of them. Seems perfectly natural for me. The curious notion that suffering is inevitable has always seemed strange to me, esp. the way that people accept it as the normal state of things. That would be the unnatural state I'd say. Note there is a significant difference between "pain" and "suffering"--when I had a bad head cold back in December I was in some discomfort, but never suffered per se. It's part and parcel of being in a 3D world, but ultimately I own all my mental states. I just took an amazing afternoon drive in springlike temperatures and skies. Yes, as per my handle I get a lot of energy when in the sun, and my energy thus does drop when it is cloudy and cooler, but I don't get grumpy and depressed or anything.

Umm what? I was simply showing one of Wilber's older models and how SD was mapped onto it later. Why would you categorize it as a "wild guess"? Said chart (or its like) is a virtual omnipresent feature of just about any older Wilber book-you can't miss it. Do you people really not know what SD was originally based on?

It's all based on Ken Wilber's work. In his original schema his Centaur (Vision/Logic) stage equates to Yellow and Turquoise (2nd Tier), while his 3rd tier stages were the Psychic [Coral it would seem], Subtle [Teal, I think...], Causal, and finally of course NonDual.

Wayyy ahead of ya, man, believe me. If I could do this wild existence I call my life full justice (which on this medium I probably can't)...

This is one of the biggest keys for me. It's kind of a tricky concept to explain, but I'll give it my best. To exhibit Full Ownership is to fully accept total responsibility for anything and everything that happens to you, not only for any outcomes which are the "fruits" of your path, for good or bad, but also in terms of what your reactions are to anything. That is, having made a prior decision to have done X, that you fully accept anything which happens (directly/indirectly/partially/wholly) as a result of said decision or action. You thus don't pass off blame to others even if they may be complicit in a given outcome, as you still at the very least have total ownership of your reactions to said event. Now sure, there are events which happen to you which are likely NOT of your doing at all, but you can still own your reaction to them at the very least. I hope that came out pretty clear. Thoughts?

I've found that the energy mismatch is often the killer. To use an analogy: If one has learned to let things flow through one's life and psyche, but another hasn't, then (assuming partial compatibility, otherwise nothing is going to happen to even get things going) when they start connecting they'll both feel a strong energy flow. But eventually the 2nd person's blocks/neuroses/issues will start interfering, and they'll try to block the flow (so as to try to maintain some level of control*)-at which point they'll feel it start to build up to unbearable levels, yes like water behind a dam (as they freak/second guess/intellectualize). At that point they'll bail, if not before. I had one woman be honest enough to essentially admit this to me, after a 2 week fairy tale whirlwind romance. Most others didn't say a thing, usually having bailed long before that point-some as said simply didn't even let things start in the first place, sensing said imbalance even if they could not mentally articulate the why's and wherefore's. I am admittedly a sample size of one of course. [*When the key to making it work the way it was in the first place was to NOT question or pause or such...]