deci belle

As for having a normal job~ enlightenment doesn't change anything. No one knows. You don't even have to wait for enlightenment because it's already your own mind, so you can just start to sublimate what knows right now. Enlightenment as an event is merely an indicator of having stabilized the learning of working with the sanity you were born with over a long period of time and having passed many tests of character. Enlightenment is itself a very big test! In its aftermath, there is further refinement and stabilization to work through— so no hurries! An occupation such as automotive work can be very meditative if one's inner/outer environment is conducive to it. I like hot-rods!

Loved your story, tsuki— this is what I really picked up on: I feel that whatever tradition(s) of awareness clarification that resonate with you find a place in your ongoing gradual path of self-refinement, the attitude you already have toward whatever systems you may work through will insure that they will be of greatest benefit. I hope I catch your further installments describing your experiences!

Hi LiakosN~ I've never said those three words either. What's the big deal? Evidently, some people don't see cramping the numinous into words. Waiting to hear three words… that doesn't sound so numinous~ sounds kinda cramped, albeit conventional, kinda sad. Some people won't cramp their relationship into an economic convention called marriage either. Man-up and be true to yourself hell or high water❤︎

Absolutely, Sahil Pandit. So true, until it is time to act. I didn't say "until it is time for you to act." Sometimes, its time to act~ even when you don't want to have to. What then?

Specifically, the limit a person can accomplish is the "limit of the limitless". That's a taoist alchemic technical term. It is and has always been what you are; at the same time, you are not it. Those who see this in an instant of not "just be(ing) myself", see the absolute in terms of the absolute. In terms of the absolute, there has never been "just being myself". In the aftermath of the experience, one knows the fact. Though it is an inconceivability, it is a good idea to distinguish between the Absolute, which not only encompasses the absence of even nothing, it has never entered the created realm. It has never begun; neither existent nor non-existent, it is potential, awake, unborn. Infinity encompasses the created, which is what is without end. In addition, it is necessary to accomplish advanced practice in the aftermath of sudden illumination in order to resolve the fact that the Absolute and Creation are not different in yourself, as you are, in everyday ordinary situations. Coming to terms with this potential activates one's inherent enlightening being. Since you are already none other than the nature of the Absolute, just this is precisely how some beings can take any form at will— not just people. There are infinite worlds upon worlds, and some beings are inorganic. On the ordinary plane of awareness, people call this sorcery— which involves actual training on top of a karmic predilection for such activity and development. I do not use Leo's vocabulary because I find it necessary to consider that the infinite is equivocal to creation/karmic evolution. The reason why is that in seeing your essential nature, it is still necessary to "step over" eternity to enter the path of Reality, which is not beyond conditions. After suddenly seeing their nature (Absolute), most people revert to their ordinary human personality identities. The bottom line is that people are inconceivable beings. Though it is possible to enter into the inconceivable, it is not possible to understand it. Why? Because it is beyond the ken of the ratio-syncretic functionality of human beings' psychological apparatus. Taoism calls the capacity of human awareness that is the operative inconceivability (the Nagual as spoken by Juan Matus), in human beings the non-psychological awareness. In terms of refining one's conscious awareness to recognize the non-psychological, taoist praxis calls this aspect of awareness Real Knowledge. This is our direct access to that which operates beyond the context of infinity in the midst of everyday ordinary situations. The non-psychological is spiritual. It is precisely that which isn't relative to thinking and talking. It is relative to will. ed note: fluff and buff penultimate paragraph

tsuki's position statements I will address on the most polarized of distinctions, and then perhaps may consider expressing a more subtle treatment. This response is pointed at the issue I perceive tsuki has elucidated, and is not a critique of ego in any way. Ego, per se, is a brilliant functionary in terms of the psychological apparatus of the being that is going to die; yet in the ordinary person, this functionary has usurped its (false) identity from the true self, which taoism calls "the true human with no status", in that ego has no knowledge of the true self or its wholesome, unified perspective and influence. The true human with no status is the unborn functional capacity of unified selfless aware intent, naturally operating as non-psychological awareness, and endowed as Brilliant Virtue, which is the nature of one's inherent enlightening being. Just this is your own empty shining mind right now. The work of self-refinement is to recognize and actualize its potential to the full in one's life. What is termed "my mind" can only be viewed as the human mentality, which is the false mind. "Me" perpetually uses an effectively fabricated (and valid) premise to distinguish between the knower and thought. This is the principle doppelgänger employed, not just by ego, but is in fact the revolving smoke and mirrors that constitutes ego in the first place. It's a phantom obfuscating the real. The real is an unborn potential that can and does operate in terms of one's innate enlightening being, in everyday ordinary situations, unbeknownst to anyone. As for "the past just being a concept…", well so is the "me", the "time", and even the immediate present, unless you actually see Reality, by the impersonally objective perspective of non-psychological awareness. If you see reality, there are no concepts, because everything is empty— including self, other, right, wrong, good, bad, before and after; therefore everything is the same, and can be dealt with objectively as one's unified enlightening potential. Nobody said it is easy, and it's not particularly difficult either, but things always get sticky in terms of personality issues. Even though it is inconceivability itself, it has its own logic, and it works by virtue of Jesus' dictum paraphrased thusly, "to enter the kingdom of god, you must first lay down your life." It just means to revert to your innate selfless spiritual potential by giving up ego's perspective. Buddhism expresses Jesus' "your life" as "neither knower, thinker or liver of life." Taoism simply states, "There is no thing." Just re-gaining the selflessly impersonal perspective in the first place is the profundity lurking throughout every authentic wisdom tradition that manages its viability effectively by keeping the wordless knowledge of transcendent illumination alive. Leo's point about mind's "lying" serves the source intent which is non-originated. It's true. For those who see reality, the lying human mentality is simply self-evident. Not liking the fact that the human mentality is lying is indicative of the self-reifying human mentality. Everything the impostor sees must validate its façade. The false self is averse to anything which compromises its perpetually insecure status. This means anything the human mentality posits is attributable to its own selfish perspective. Selfish means relative to the personality's identity. The mind's way, is discriminatory, in the best sense of the word. Its method is utterly relativistic— just fine for the purpose for which it is intended— which doesn't include usurping the being's spiritual potential by obscurantism and then conveniently obscuring that so there are no tracks… the only crime being the forgetting. Therefore, one of the benefits of enlightenment is in discovering the true state which had been forgotten. As I said above, this is not a critique of ego, per se, it is a description of the pattern of the inception of the karmic situation. When the small comes, the great goes. This is the meaning of the 12th hexagram of the I Ching. Though it IS possible to arrive at objectivity, that is, transcendent truth in the midst of ordinary situations~ nevertheless, it can never be accomplished via the "the supposed mind's way." To call its way "lying" is a graphic device~ and just as true, in absolute terms. ed note: add last line in 7th; add 8th; hot-rod 10th; change "has to" to "must" in 11th paragraph

I wanted to add a short line about a half-dozen paragraphs from the end, but am unable to "edit" my last post any longer. In terms of "gathering" unrefined potential, grain by grain, for the so-called taoist elixir of immortality, it is accomplished by non-doing. As I described it above it is a matter of of seeing. Buddhism calls this "saving energy", taoism describes it as "stealing potential", and Toltec-derived Nahual shamanism says that one must be fluid enough to, "grab the cubic centimeter of chance." Whether it is termed inner or outer makes no difference— potential is the essence of Reality. These are all different words being used to describe the same thing that has been carried out by sages, saints, buddhas, wizards, men of knowledge and everyday ordinary enlightening beings since the beginning of time.

Someone sent me a PM recently in response to a comment I made on another thread. Hi there~ Hahhahaha!! My happiness, or anger, or wonder, or terror is just what it is at any moment. I commented (on a separate occasion) on your thread about finding a teacher who has had children. I sensed that you are already very close. You don't need to bother with intellectualizing concepts or pondering the meaning of "emptiness" and "infinity". That's for some other kind of person. At the risk of seeming nihilist, creation (as well as the Absolute) has no meaning. Selfless open sincerity is a natural human capacity already. It's not words. You know just this without talking. In the same way, enlightenment is your nature. It's actually your mind right now. There's no other enlightenment, no other happiness, wonder, no other mind. Enlightenment is just seeing that unborn awareness is all there is; empty, selfless, awake. Seeing your nature, seeing essence, doesn't change anything. Witnessing the Absolute is your own nature witnessing itself— it's the Causelss; the Changeless. It has never begun. If it changed anything, it wouldn't be enlightenment. It's already who you are right now. It's inconceivability. Human beings are inconceivable. It's not the person who witnesses their nature, it's one's own spiritual (wordless) potential reverting to its non-originated source for the first time. It only ever happens once. That's why it is important for mr Ivan (where you saw my comment about not saying anything for 20 years) to be very careful not to squander his over-weaning enthusiasm by spraying about the powerful experiential understanding he realized. Even an ancient taoist spiritual alchemy classic states that if one somehow accidentally (no one ever sees their nature "on purpose") sees their nature, they must get to work in order to stabilize and mature their newly discovered power of selfless potential. The maturation process in the aftermath of the sudden takes a lifetime. The gradual process of self-refinement before and after the sudden is an endless, ever-developing journey. There is actually a point to it all. Enlightenment is not about getting anything because there's nothing to get. It's not about being happy. It's about being able to harmonize perpetual (uncreated) enlightening activity with (created) conditions impersonally, in the midst of ordinary situations unbeknownst to anyone. It's neither easy nor difficult. One doesn't do it. It's spontaneous, but in order to actualize it, one must be able to see it. It's inconceivable, that's all. Furthermore, one must have an abundance of receptive virtue (potential) in order to carry this out according to the time. It's not the person. The person, in the final analysis, is the inert ingredient, and the spirit is impersonal (non-psychological). One's gradual practice in the aftermath of the sudden amounts to using everyday ordinary situations to grind down and polish the remnants of egregious ego-defects (not ego itself!!), so that ego can be of ultimate service to one's actualized enlightening being's spontaneous, spiritually (wordlessly) motivated action, which is neither the person nor otherwise. Enlightening being does not rely on the power of the individual; it uses the potential inherent in each situation (created energy cycle) itself. Enlightening activity is not good or bad, self or other, nice or mean, right or wrong, or even before or after. It's inconceivable. So since it doesn't have anything to do with "happiness" per se, I don't talk about that. I have to talk about "difficult" things such as Suchness. That is the nature of reality, which is neither created nor absolute. That's not because of what reality is (it doesn't exist), but because that's how reality works. In order to work directly with reality, one must be the same as reality. In order to do that, one must see reality in terms of reality~ and that's inconceivable. One must be able to see conditions as they are; objectively and impersonally, which is the meaning of selflessness. Selflessness has nothing to do with some kind of moral imperative or ideal. It's the nature of true reality, your unborn nature. Therefore, enlightening activity is all about being able to work with what is by seeing reality as is and dealing with conditions on their own terms without denying anything— while simultaneously seeing through phenomena (because its nature is emptiness)— no different than the Absolute. You see, the unborn Absolute and Creation's infinite realms are the same thing. Reality and delusion look the same because they are the same, in terms of potential. All be told, there isn't even one thing, much less two. Let's hear it for the homeland of nothing whatsoever! When one sees their nature, one realizes the potential to be neither a same nor different nature than creation's essence. That's the power of one's inherent uncreated enlightening being: the potential to be a partner with creation's potential without going along with creation in terms of its created (karmic) cycles. It's called buddha-nature for a reason! That only means something relative to inherent potential— and that means it's inconceivable. For some people, it's just their 24/7 day-job… and no one knows why because there is no reason why. It's just the way it is for no reason. People become buddhas and buddhas become people, that's all❤︎ ed note: typo, 9th; add "(it doesn't exist)", 18th; typo, 23rd paragraph

Ooooooh~ excellent comment, mr Monkey-man— and thank you too!! This gets right to the heart of taoist spiritual alchemy, which is the work of manipulating the dross to realize the noble. Of course, all the authentic teachings of transcendent action over creation carried out during the course of this planet's inconceivably long history are the same in this regard. I am most familiar with the taoist tradition, so I refer to its terminology when convenient. In order to work directly with reality (which is inconceivable), it is necessary to see through phenomena without denying its characteristics. Put another way, when one has sufficient receptive virtue to accomplish it, one's inherent enlightening function sees through appearances and responds according to the time using the essence of each situation's innate potential. This is spiritual alchemy. It consists of two aspects; the science of Essence and the science of Life. Often, I say that one responds to situations without relying on one's own power. The above paragraph describes the context of this being the case. Each situation is created, and therefore karmic. Since creation is the incremental nature of the all-at-once absolute uncreate, it is possible for (by virtue of the incremental and the absolute sharing the same essence) enlightening beings to partake of the potential inherent in all creation, in order to transcend karma by working directly with its (karma's) essence. Activation of one's enlightening function is called seeing reality. Buddhism calls this activating, or opening the "Dharma-eye". Human being typifies a specific range of potential insofar as its capacity is a type of awareness specific to humanity. Human being is a verb; the word human, is the adverb modifying the verb being. Human being is not a title, per se, it is a type of awareness particular to our collective, or unified being. I didn't say "collective consciousness"— that's something else: that's what perpetuates karmic bondage. Buddhism calls that the Storehouse Consciousness. Human being is by nature inconceivable, as is awareness, no different than the essence of creation, the absolute, and our selflessly aware unified potential. That which is unified has no differentiation; that's how there is selflessness, ie: no self/other. As a side-note, the characteristics of the psychological apparatus of the being that is going to die is a functionally universal consensus of humanity on this planet derived via the so-called Storehouse Consciousness, and is therefore not inherent— it is attributable to karmic evolution. In contrast, the nature of human being is selfless, awake and uncreated. It is unattributable— or rather it is the light of awareness itself, the source of awareness which is uncreated. Jesus said, "I am the Light." He wasn't lying. No one is none other than this light of awareness. As far as created cycles go, every created cycle is a complete cycle, even those containing many other cycles over lifetimes. In terms of an ordinary situational cycle, even if that be a single thought; it is born, it waxes, wanes, and dies. Often, other thoughts arrive before a current thought goes back to where it came from, which is, ultimately, nowhere. This is the law of creation. It's how karma works. That's the way of creation. To address Monkey-man's other concerns relative to karma, here's the deal: if you know that karma is empty by a direct and powerful confluence of conditions, and that knowledge has real power developed over a long time of self-refinement, karma loses its power over one's potential, which is, effectively, freed from the karmic matrix. This is the practical aspect of liberation. It doesn't have to be relative to the individual because enlightening being is selfless. There is no self. Karma is just the sphere of activity, enlightened or not, that people are subject to by virtue of having selves. There is nothing else in terms of creation. Karma is creation which is conscious momentum. Ancient adepts who learned how to work with creation by using its own laws, developed traditions over eons to keep this knowledge alive. All awareness teachings are the same in this regard because the non-psychological capacity or potential of human being is spiritual. The non-psychological is spiritual. It is an inconceivable vessel. Its potential can transcend creation and those who recognize it as themselves enter into the inconceivable as easy as one turns over one's hand. Not-thinking is what-it-is; before the first thought is when it is. It is possible to rest here in perpetuity. Taoism calls this resting in the highest good; Buddhism calls this the pedestal of awareness. There is a critical juncture in each and every created cycle. One can learn to see it. The critical juncture is the precise moment when the waxing potential becomes exhausted and the waning potential becomes active. This is the critical juncture that spiritual alchemists watch for. It is not within the realm of intellect. The ratio-syncretic human mentality is muuuuch too slow to see reality. It is a matter of not-thinking; it is in following desires without stepping over the line; it is through not being attached to outcomes. The provisional entry-level awareness exercise approached by beginners is called "meditation", or "just sitting". This is not authentic meditation at all. Just sitting is a long process of practicing for the real deal which slowly develops into what is referred to as continuous subtle concentration. The unbending intent carried out over a long long time to arrive at continuous subtle concentration is for the purpose of seeing the critical juncture, in order to carry out the spontaneous activity of humanity's innate enlightening function, which is natural. One does not do it. In the process of arriving at continuous subtle concentration observing essence, or potential, one naturally accumulates virtue. It is not a result of rote meditation, but of actually seeing Reality in the midst of delusion. Seeing reality is itself gathering potential. To repeat, it is not a matter of doing anything. True meditation is 24/7 continuous subtle concentration arriving at spontaneous gathering of potential by the power of receptive virtue. So this talk of ego-death is a bit of a misnomer, albeit quite literal in terms of the "interruption of (its) consciousness" which is an instantaneous result experienced as a selflessly aware vision, before time/creation, of inherent aware potential in and of itself. If the experience is then successfully cured and matured in its aftermath over a sufficient period of time, the result is simply the re-dedication of the ego-function to rightly serve the properly entrusted enlightening-function of human (enlightening) being whereby the (ego's) original capacity is fulfilled and it's conditioned (errant) action is forgotten in perpetuity. Buddhahood is not conferred by sudden enlightenment. The "sudden" can be termed the time of planting the seed of buddhahood in the homeland of nothing whatsoever. A life-long process of advanced practice is just "chopping wood and carrying water." Spiritual powers are not worth talking about. One's fiercely unequivocal insight is an aspect of seeing without employing self-reifying psychological patterns. Infusing one's life with non-reifying awareness is enlightening practice. Therefore, enlightening being's potential, as well as its function, is not the person. Its power is impersonal (selfless) and dependent on the potential inherent in the situation itself. One does not rely on one's own power to act selflessly. Why? One ceases being a separate entity simply by virtue of seeing reality because being of the absolute nature of awareness, as is the essence of creation, those who are spiritually adept partake of the nature of awareness, which is unified. Unity is as unity does, therefore the power of one's selfless, spontaneous action in response to situations is derived from the power or the potential of the situation itself, being karmic. Those who are able to work with essence directly with no intermediary, work with karma's essence— just the same as reality, therefore they can go along with creation without being subject to its laws which are created. Awareness is unborn. It's not about the physical, yet the euphemism of "ascending to Heaven in broad daylight" long ago passed into the Chinese folk-vernacular thousands of years ago, and evidently for a reason. So that Jesus guy wasn't the only one by a long-shot (and Jesus naturally had to dramatically and gruesomely die first, and THEN resurrect from death before doing the right thing~ sheesh). Some cultures are really thick… Selflessness, to clarify the word in terms of spiritual alchemy, or enlightening activity, is not a measure of emotionalism relative to conventional views of what "compassion" might imply. Enlightening activity is not good or bad, or relative to right or wrong, self or other— much less before or after. I tell you, inconceivability has no limit. People's nature and the totality of reality is truly in the realm of inconceivability. It's a mystery. Enlightening beings are those whose receptive virtue is sufficient to match creation's potential with "their" potential in terms of the essence of Reality, which is neither created nor uncreate. This is the meaning of Suchness. When one realizes the inherent virtue to accomplish it, inconceivability comes to the fore naturally and selflessly without anyone knowing. I will leave you with one last morsel: the critical juncture, in taoist terminology, is called the Yin Convergence. Oh~ and one last tease (heeheehee …zzo naughty), one furthermore "takes over creation and steals its potential" in the instance of the critical juncture by mastering the third and fourth hexagrams, Difficulty and Darkness. One then withdraws and stores the potential in secrecy void of intellectualism to await its natural refinement. Taoist alchemy calls the period of withdrawal in secrecy the "ten months of incubation" per the gestation period of the human embryo before it is freed from the womb. One goes along with creation in order to free the potential bound by karma's incremental nature. People have that capacity. Finally, I want to make sure that the following is understood with absolute clarity: ENLIGHTENING ACTIVITY IS NOT DEPENDENT ON SEEING YOUR NATURE (that is, experiencing sudden enlightenment). The occurrence of the sudden is the result of a critical mass of "accumulated" potential having been reached by virtue of selfless accord with reality while in the midst of everyday ordinary situations. I say that by virtue of my own personal experience— and I must admit that I didn't know what was happening, other than knowing the feeling that it was all just me (not separate). Taoism has a saying that the world is the sage. "It all being just me" is the fruition of the saying's true meaning. There has never been a single person who is not conceived in the womb fully and perfectly enlightened. Mind is one. Mind is itself enlightenment. Enlightened awareness is selflessly so. It is the way it is and no one knows why. ed note: add "…That which is…", 5th; add 8th; add "…it is following…", 14th; add last two paragraphs

❤︎!!

hi you guys~ just let 'er rip …then clean it up. Let's call that self-consciously… Self-consciousness is an utterly self-paralyzing (self-defeating) habit. Just loosen up a bit …and let 'er rip~ heehee!! I feel that genuine curiosity is essential for your own developmental aspirations as well as for rewarding social interaction. If you have something you know, that you wish to express~ at least be curious enough to find out how you would have said it in the first place without recriminations. haha!! That's for others to decide, non? Nobody's perfect. Be sparing (I should talk!) , but exact a feeling of generosity~ obviously it means a lot to you. There will always be those who will be disparaging and cynical. To hell with them~❤︎

I don't follow the "informed citizen" rational for subjecting oneself to the polarized parody and outright lies of institutional proportions that are paraded as relevant. It is utterly destroying the social fabric of this country— which is the goal of those who openly aspire to that rational. And there is a massive faction of society that is attached to outcomes, which is antithetical to enlightening activity. Adapting to conditions impersonally in the midst of everyday ordinary situations without anyone knowing is the basic 24/7 meditation. The most sublime truth is that there is absolutely nothing to know. Media is rot. Whenever sensibly biased individuals are compelled to tell me what politically poignant episode recently transpired; after they've vented, I just say I don't know anything about it, whether I do or don't; or say I've been practicing guitar a lot or have been in the mountains~ they always say that that is probably a better way to be. It is. And I will continue to vote at every opportunity I have, as I have my entire life~ without being attached to outcomes.

I chuckled, Patang~❤︎!!

hmmmmm.

Why is eating mushrooms being taken into account in terms of facing the recognized obsession with weed, Vipassana?

Stick to what you know. Obviously, what is resonating within you is what you ought to follow— because you already know it is so. Why even waste another nano-second talking about what seems BS to you? There's a reason that certain strains of buddhist, taoist and western alchemical as well as the core Nagual shamanic teachings of the Americas (that survived the various human migrations from the prehistoric steppe-cultures of northern Asia) are viable today. Begin to earnestly apply yourself sincerely by getting to the bottom of what is resonating within you by the kind of self-study that bores all the way through into the source of the teachings in which the knowledge is alive. It is the very aspiration to search and one's further dedicated effort to arrive at the source of the authentic teachings that keeps the knowledge alive. What I'm referring to when I say "the source" is precisely conjured in the words you chose: Your innate wordless knowledge of the source itself is what is resonating in you. Just this is your own teacher. ed note: add "the" in the 3rd paragraph; last two paragraphs

I couldn't bring myself to follow the link, but being a musician myself, I wouldn't dare dismiss this composition's sincere relevance! Aspiring to a virtuous enlightening relationship with creation whereby you no longer rely on your own power to adapt (impersonally) to situations is key to establishing the living potential's prominent place in your life enabling you to transcend this song's particularly restrictive message. Evidently there is a faction of urban humanity in sufficient numbers to appreciate and support such a manner of songwriting. I hope the musicianship is otherwise inspiring~ as are (no doubt) their otherwise established repertoire.

If you are concentrating or focusing any attention on ANY part of your body, STOP IMMEDIATELY AND NEVER DO IT AGAIN. Please don't do that.

hello, mr Ape~ You're nailing this episode by not excreting sadness on top of of the knowledge of loss. Congratulations. What is most important to realize is that your acute feelings are an excellent way to gauge the practical benefits of skillful mindfullness in terms of forgetting feelings (as if it's you doing the forgetting). It's the shining mind just shining. We use the things constituting worldly affairs to polish and refine away the polluted aspects of conscious awareness. It's called "seeing through phenomena without denying its characteristics." This development is exhibiting the appearance of the shining mind that doesn't ruminate. In situations such as this I have tended to effect a sense of objectless gratitude for no reason at all. Ego is perplexed and is second-guessing this and wants to wallow in agitation and conflicting emotions! Breakups matter (ultimately not.) Not one single aspect of created conditions matter. Never have; never will. Forget 'em while the forgetting is good without denying anything. Anything can be used as a crutch by ignorance. Your body-knowledge will be the judge in the final analysis. Ego just wants a piece of the action❤︎… ed note: add first line and "as if…"; spell "gauge" and "your" better; add the line with "seeing through phenomena without denying its characteristics."

hello~ Though relationships (in my experience) are the means to self-refinement and transformational evolution in the context of everyday ordinary karmic situations, the effective definition of "relationship" need not be limited to social convention. Ego shedding is experiencing selflessness, which is not a relative aspect to be discovered within the confines, safe or not, of some kind of exclusive social unit, much less in terms of the mind that thinks. Ego is shed by virtue of not-thinking. It is not a matter of sharing. No one has to know. In other words, evolutionary consciousness development is difficult enough as it is, and to fabricate an ideal whereby it must be accomplished in the context of an emotional pairing in terms of a conventional social arrangement is a bit much. That you would only consider an exclusive social arrangement with an actualized person is fine for you~ but what about the actualized person, hmmm? That is a conceit one would do well to drop on the spot. I remember women in LA saying they only date guys who wear Doc Martens~ hahahhaa!! I pity people who consider themselves viable only within the context of social convention. Ultimately, you are alone in this endeavor, Epiphany. I find setting ANY requirements, much less having ideas what constitute actualization (especially in terms of social arrangements) evidence of simply further means ego employs to "control", which is indicative of its inherent basis as the psychological projection of insecurity and instability. Goliath said; Absolutely. Again, the irritations of everyday ordinary situations in terms of worldly issues are the means to gradual self-refinement, but the "relationship" doesn't have to suit you or meet your arbitrary requirements to be viable in terms of providing the context for effective conscious evolution. A boss, a parent, any petty tyrant, a war-torn existence (to illustrate a few extreme examples), could serve the purpose splendidly. It's not that the relationship will do anything— how you adapt in terms of your own non-psychological response is the key to gradual transformations that will eventually result in the world-honored accomplishment of what buddhism calls shedding the skin-bag. In the course of endless transformations, further self-refinement conjures ever-evolving relationships suited specifically for your continued development— but you need to be willing to come to terms with the need to be the decider. The relationships that will blow your world away will find you without any help from you in terms of self-concious manipulative arrangements to accomplish the task or arrange its parameters according to your preconceptions of high-falutin' spiritual ambition. Ego-shedding is not relative to your self. Selflessness is an experience that strips away all notions of conscious relativity. But it doesn't change anything. In fact, authentic enlightening activity mainly serves to expose your worst qualities, such as they are— in order to to be able to deal with them effectively in the course of events. Welcome to the world of broken open hearts❤︎… In spite of the promise of "ego-shedding", what wasn't better before the fact, won't be any better off afterwards. A relationship just is. It doesn't matter if it isn't "real" or "official" or otherwise socially relevant. Being willing to decide on this path is irrelevant— what's relevant is who is on this path. My estimation of this figure is about .02%— not because people don't engender ambitions to do so, but because it just isn't going to happen unless you are already doing so. It's not something you decide. You simply become open to the potential inherent in yourself by virtue of the very situations you find yourself. In spite of what I said above about being alone— you aren't separate, either. As far as deciding to date again~ why does it have to depend on you to decide to date or not? All this ego-active yaying and naying only serves to strengthen the illusion of having and ego. You don't have and ego; if anything, there's an ego that has you! I suggest forgetting about decisions relative to social arrangements for the time being. Evolve in the midst of delusional existence without having to decide anything. Do you have the audacity to enter into the whole world without discriminating between self and other, intimate or insular, just to see what it might be without your having to decide first? The exclusivity of the path assumed by ego-shedders is irrelevant. It is the whole world. It depends on where you are in your own mind and skin right now. The path, such as it is, is right at your feet instantaneously— true reality can only be actualized in the immediate present. There's no where else. Just this is it. ed note: change Doc Martens; add "Welcome to the world of broken open hearts❤︎…"

Why does consciousness exist? It's actually a fine question to ask. More people ought to ponder such things and keep drilling into it themselves it until they bore all the way through! And I'm sso qualified to poke at this question with at least the advantage of a ten foot pole… First of all, people should come to the realization, or at least acceptance that there is no why. There is no reason. Suchness is so for no reason at all and nobody knows why. That is the fact of the matter. Looking deeply in the source of conscious awareness (not conscious awareness itself; I'll get to that subsequently), the ancients called the unknowable source an emptiness which is not empty, or a void which is void of voidness. I call it selfless knowledge of the absence of absence. Emptiness which is not empty is not a cute word game such as I see so often~ it is just as far as people can go into the unknowable. It is the limit of the extreme. There is no why. It is certainly possible for people to have knowledge of this and the fact is that people have been going to this precise limit for eons— it's not religion: it's the source of religion. I had to touch on "word games" because working with Reality has nothing to do with words. There is no explanation. So let's touch on mr godhead. At best, god is a name for the un-nameable. At the very least, in terms of symbolism, god is the practical equivalent of Saturn. When I saw god, he had a white beard and he was sitting at the veil between this side and having passed through. He was a real sweety-- I kissed the top of his bald head and went right on through on to the vaulting horizon (that was just a vision~ not a real experience). God is a bellhop. If it's a person's predilection to pass through, god will let you kiss his bald head as you pierce the veil. In terms of projections of the human psyche, god is a deified image of ego in that something has to take credit for what is— unless of course you know better. God is not creator. Why? Because awareness is not created and awareness is who you really are. Therefore, there is no creator. It is a myth~ a likely story. Specifically, awareness is un-created in that it has never begun— that's your unborn aware nature. Beginningless isn't a reference to some incalculable age. Awareness is literally un-created— it is perpetually a priori to creation. Yet it is not different. There it is, on the verge of going into action in perpetuity— and it has never moved; but it's not a static thing …it is an inconceivability in terms of living, aware selfless potential. That's a real experience, but it is not yet wonderful. This is one's true selfless identity, and you can see this by virtue of interrupting your individual false conscious awareness relative to the personality's psychological patters of self-reification that perpetuate one's conscious awareness. Ego's fault is to completely usurp the identity of the "real human with no status" and hold on to its baseless power-trip with endless schemes and subterfuge to obfuscate its inherent source of insecurities. Ego must be put on a leash, that's all, and that's a long process called self-refinement. The "real human with no status" is the real body of awareness which has no location. When self-refinement has reached a critical mass, the ego-function reverts to its rightful relationship with your selfless, real identity. It's a good thing. All people are just this. People are actually inconceivable beings; in terms of your own selfless nature, death does not exist and that which has never entered into the created is awareness. It is not a thing. People just don't know this, so they make things up to suit their fancy in lieu of direct experience because they would rather chase after fascinations which consequently keep them bound to the realm of karmic evolution. Ego is ignorant of this, so it takes the person along with it. Ego is not yours. As well, ego is not a thing. It is just a necessary function of the individual conscious awareness which has run amok. Therefore, modern humanity has no conscious advantage over those who have lived and died for essentially ever. Current technology is just current, that's all. Technology has not always relied on hardware~ and let's not get hung-up on semantics (ie: software). We're not advanced; we're precisely on schedule. So, moving right along in that regard… Ok, I said I'd get to consciousness or conscious awareness per se. Specifically, again: there is no why. It is the temporal aspect of Mind. In terms of technical terminology, conscious awareness is the human mentality; real knowledge is the aspect of the absolute which is experienced as immediate knowledge which can be as self-evident as knowing you are hearing a dog or a cat. No deliberation is necessary: it is ascertained immediately. This is your mind right now. Enlightenment is not a different mind. Does it exist or not? I'll say it again for all the smarty-pants who know better: Those who discover their nature realize it self-evidently simply due to forgetting words. No words is no-thought, that's mind right now. Mind is inconceivable; the self-reifying human is a phantom existence no different than people. Existent or non-existant~ it doesn't matter. What matters is that people clarify the basis of mind which is ungraspable. Clarify it right in its tracks. Mind is one, yet in terms of the manifestation of the psychological apparatus, one has somewhere to begin. One uses the unmoving to observe the moving. Stopping and seeing, one gains insight into the nature of mind, and by extension, reality… but I'll get to that later. The temporal manifestation of mind moves; the absolute quality of mind is unmoving. Perceptibly, for those who have observed the quality of the shining mind, in just sitting meditation, it is solid, with no inside or outside. I do not relegate the term "infinite" or "infinity" to the absolute. I qualify creation, karmic evolution and the infinite as the same thing. Why? Because the absolute has no inside or outside; it has never begun. There is nothing to know; knowledge in terms of the all-at-once is simply an impersonal intent, selflessly so, empty yet void of emptiness, awake. I waited until now to express observations relative to conscious awareness because one needs to differentiate between spiritual non-psychological awareness and conscious awareness constituting the psychological apparatus of the being that is going to die. In terms of creation and the created, including the individual and its personality-consciousness, there is nothing "in it". Being no different that the nature of enlightenment, it is wholly illusion, utter illusion, magnificent illusion, world and universe-creating illusion. Ultimately, nothing at all is happening. In other words, illusion is not happening to the individual at all because the whole of creation is the complete totality of each individual. I say that the mystery is not the Absolute— it is uncreated; the mystery is Creation. There is only one thing to do if you have the audacity to explore the grand mystery of mysteries— And I'm sorry if it sounds hocus-pocus, but Reality is neither created nor un-created. It is possible to work with Reality directly with no intermediary by seeing through phenomena without denying its characteristics. Creation is where you do it; there is no other place. Buddhism calls that which is neither created nor absolute Suchness. The hallucination looks the same whether one is deluded or illuminated because the extremes of clinging or aversion to temporal incremental inevitability and clinging or aversion to the absolute enlightening nature are BOTH delusion. That's why buddhism calls the middle way the Supreme Vehicle of buddhas. So the hallucination is all there is to work with in terms of enlightening activity in the world. Ordinary people go along with the flow of the light of creation in terms of karmic evolution for infinitely endless cycles of bondage and those who see reality without clinging to either extreme follow the same light in reverse to its source. Actually, in terms of karma you move because there is change. Those who follow the light in reverse are the same as the nature of awareness, unmoving and uncreated in terms of their innate enlightening function in the midst of everyday ordinary situations. Where else would enlightening activity take place? There is actually a device of sorts involved in going one way or the other. It is called selfless open sincere intent. I mentioned the absolute aspect of this quality of mind six paragraphs above. In a nutshell, recognizing this quality of mind enables one to transcend the vagaries of ordinary situations without deliberation in terms of right and wrong, self and other, and even before and after. These are the irrelevant aspects of what constitutes basic hang-ups. Shit happens. It is not only necessary to deal with shit effectively— dealing with shit is how you actually evolve as an enlightening being. No shit. Finding reality in the midst of shit is a subtlety of advanced practice. Enlightenment isn't a thing to get. The sudden is just a passing result of the consequential enlightening activity effected in the course of working directly with potential in the midst of situations by virtue of the device I mentioned. That which aids one in using shit without employing deliberation is this open sincere intent. Why? Open sincerity is selfless; it just doesn't care. It's another name for impersonal compassion that just gets shit done according to the time. I call it ruthless compassion. How else would it be possible to kill a buddha? The buddha is your own mind right now. Can you kill it? The only place to get shit done is in the midst of this grand illusion. Manifestation doesn't happen in the mind— it is Mind. There is no reason. ed note: typos/gramar in 7th paragraph; then add this and that here and there; more dang typos in 9th paragraph!!

Hi Patang, So true!! And succinctly stated as well. After a long time of allowing this understanding to mature, it may permeate and transform your approach to life. Perhaps you are already familiar with the following… Though this is all fine and well, precisely when just this is your own authentic and actualized function, there is still the necessity to take the forward step and share yourself fully with the world. Will there be no one to receive it in everyday ordinary situations? When this time comes, yourself/no-self will meet creation in a formidable adjustment. Meeting this, you then go on step by step, open-handed, with nothing to show or hide. All is at your fingertips in terms of using the potential of creation which is already inherent as the very situations in which you find yourself. You don't rely on your own power to spontaneously respond to situations. So even though there is no one taking in terms of the person, there is taking in terms of potential, which is the selfless aspect of unified awareness understood and operating as the world at large. I'll be a little sassy and call this a peek beyond enlightenment~ heehee❤︎!! ed note: add "precisely" and borrowed from Hongzi in 2nd paragraph; add last line

Um, I believe you are already there, Markus❤︎!! You know, some people are already born knowing~ and you seem very close indeed. The real teacher is already inside your heart of hearts. That is the absolute fact. Otherwise, look into the classical Tibetan lineage. I say that only because Milarepa's teacher was married and had children. That stuff that doesn't appeal to you is utterly trivial in that those elements become self-evident as one enters to that particular degree into the inconceivable. It really is not worth considering. The experiences that bear this out are what they are and have no intrinsic value outside of the subtle lessons you may very well be beyond in term of your subtlety of consciousness. I have never had a family nor have I been married. It's neither good nor bad, but doing such as you have~ is your predilection. May I suggest that you might be more than ready to appreciate a certain translation of the Tao te Ching in that you may be able to penetrate its subtleties beyond the treatment it gets both by many writers and by the vast majority of readers whose approach is limited to culturally based humanity studies or perhaps recreational philosophy. While it could very well be considered a tome on psychology, the effect of the TTC, not to mention the thrust of all authentic awareness-based teachings spanning globally into pre-history pre-dating the classical periods of Greece and Rome basically ARE what Freudians consider their progeny— that is, deep psychology (sans the baggage). The Tao te Ching is a profoundly deep revelation of what ancient taoists call "the celestial mechanism". I can usually gauge the overall bent of a TTC volume by reading the 16th chapter. To be sure, the TTC, properly transmitted, is a touchstone into the elemental vagaries of what taoism calls non-psychological awareness. There are others, but you might consider the one translated by Red Pine, ISBN 1-56279-085-4 because not only is it a fine volume (to the satisfaction of my spare disposition), but as well, it is the only english translation with quotes of variously attributable Chinese commentary spanning some two thousand years. ed note: add last five paragraphs

Yay! Actually, there is a wealth of highly satisfying erotic imagery available that is not necessarily conducive to wasting the male's vital force into oblivion— but perhaps this kind of imagery is too subtle for some people. It must be a fact that some males want to ejaculate excessively and habitually to their detriment. Femme aren't dissipated by orgasm— but most males also aren't aware of the fact that ejaculation and orgasm (in the male) are two separate functions. There is also a wealth of information (some of it very high quality) on this subject. There are also sources of mis-information on this subject. It is harmful for the male to press or pinch off his semen flow manually before and during ejaculation. The psychosomatic trigger to ejaculate at orgasm must be re-trained. It's not a thing~ it's a matter of will, technique and practice. In lieu of that level of sexual proficiency, it is well for those whose masturbation is habitual and chronic to mindfully go right to the edge of ejaculation without allowing the event to culminate. Do that habitually instead— that practice coupled with the waterwheel exercise will produce an incomparably beneficial result able to repair the self-abuse they are committing now. Males are trés competitive~ I challenge these men to at least try to stop at sufficiency without even spilling a drip-drop~ heehee!! ed note" add "or" on 6th paragraph

hi Hardkill~ there's no secret. Maybe you don't understand that there is nothing to understand. Attempt to still yourself by just accepting whatever you think is the problem (if you actually have an idea) of what is "holding you back". You are trying to rationalize something that is wrong when it is NOT wrong. That's why you can't figure it out. There's no problem. The problem is that you want a problem to "fix"~ so you can be socially active. You feel left out, well~ no one else has a choice in the matter. Let's just say it's karma. Some people are circumstantially popular for no reason at all. Some people are circumstantially alone for no reason at all. You are not missing out— you have nothing to lose by accepting yourself completely as you are. The need to be socially gifted (by circumstantial relationships) is grounded in a fallacy you have constructed because you are under the impression that there must be a rational explanation for your current (or lifelong) predicament. As soon as you can dispense with your past self-judgements and learn to accept your current situation as it is (not how you prefer to rationalize it), you may begin to realize the quality of all the seemingly vapid social arrangements surrounding you. Not that you should do a boomerang and develop a cynical perspective by rationalizing your imagined superiority!! They mean nothing, ultimately. Life is not passing you by. You can learn sso muuuch from objective observation of the situations around you. But you cannot see objectively as long as you are saddling yourself with the manufactured need to "be a part of it all" as opposed to being apart of it all. Until you accept your current situation bereft of social attachments, you cannot appreciate the freedom you don't know how to enjoy (much less utilize creatively) because you believe the rampant social conditioning, advertising, and cultural traditions geared to MAKE you fit in. Maybe there is something you need to realize first, before you can "fit in". Take me for example~ I have no formal social attachments and by any conventional notion of it, sex isn't necessary (not that I am a professional dominatrix~ hahahhaa). People are part of my life and I get plenty of attention. It comes and goes and I don't pander nor do I form attachments. I'm not saying that my lifestyle would ever work for you, though. May I suggest you still your need to fix your "inability" to fit in, and first accept your current condition on the spot so you can learn to accept yourself credibly and exactly as you find yourself, as is. Learning to see "what is" without judgements and then accepting your current situation (and yourself) as intrinsically complete, perfect and good is the first step. I'll bet you have no idea how many people have been going along with and are now bound in all kinds of stupid social arrangements without ever having considered the ramifications beforehand— and would give ANYTHING to be free, just to know what it's like. You know what it's like, but you are bemoaning your situation yet you have no idea how to benefit by it!! I don't blame you, by the way— but you are responsible for your current situation, and by that I mean you have yet to consider the opportunities you have at your fingertips simply because you have no social obligations to speak of (if what you say is true) to explore your situation and SEE WHAT'S IN FRONT OF YOU!! Forget about your ideas of what needs to be fixed and really stop, and then begin to see the quality of the social interactions surrounding you. How can you know what is really going on when you are not sensitive to your own innate goodness as an individual? You already have your part in this picture as an individual. Most people cannot do that. I challenge you to give fully of yourself without even moving a muscle. Start by giving yourself an inner smile— then do it again. Some people call it gratitude— no need to get drastic though-- just allow yourself the room to breath and accept your condition, then prove it by developing the capacity to intend loving acceptance of yourself for no reason at all. That's all it takes to catch up with the world and leave it in your dust~ heehee-- just kidding!! The important thing is to be able to accept yourself as you are so if and when it is time for you to have social responsibilities, you will be able to maintain a healthy sense of detachment in the midst of it all —the thing you seem to be suffocating in at the moment. That's what I mean by leaving the world (in) your dust. Share your dust, and be aloof with your attention. CuteCornDog said: When you are genuinely curious about yourself, you can easily extend this naturally joyous curiosity and have wonderfully spacious conversations with anybody. ed note: add part about "professional dominatrix"; typo 16th paragraph; add last paragraphs