deci belle

hi Lexonn~ Nice train of thought evident in your OP! There is no soul. There is absolutely nothing whatsoever that is referential in terms of the false personal psychological temporal identity of the karmic being that is going to die beyond the singularity of its incrementally created cycle which is utter illusion. It is possible to see through the illusion of self. Those whose inconceivable wonder results in experience of primal non-originated essence and who then further refine its potential in the course of everyday ordinary situations are those whose open sincere intent is a match for creation. Such people gather the real from within the midst of the false because they see that karmic energy and absolute essence are not different. Seeing is itself that which transcends creation. The light of creation and the light of non-origination is the same light. Just turn the light around. This is the nature of one's own mind right now. Your own mind right now is already the nature of enlightenment. What else is there to know other than there is nothing whatsoever to know by knowledge of non-origination. There is no doing. How does one see? It is necessary to turn the light around to awaken to reality. Ordinary people use awareness to create illusion instead of seeing Suchness as is. Reality doesn't look any different than illusion. What's different? Personal selfish perspectives that insist that there must be an ultimate and absolute nature to the self (such as a soul). There is no such thing— and that's a good thing! Karmic cycles are fueled by psychological momentum. This is the nature of conditioned thought. Non-origination has never entered the creative sphere whereby unified selfless knowledge dichotomizes and results in perpetual cycles of birth and death. Since people are essentially enlightened and innately selfless and non-originated, it is only necessary for them to awaken to their nature in order for them to assume their enlightening function. It's a matter of seeing reality as is. The absolute identity of the personality is illusion. This illusion exists by faith-based denial of the nature of selflessly aware enlightening potential. It is possible to see potential by virtue of everyday ordinary situations to the degree that one ceases viewing phenomena in terms of the personality. Views of self and other, right and wrong, good and bad, before and after are all relative to the personality. These are all binding one to karma in perpetuity. Seeing through phenomena without denying their characteristics is turning the light around. Directly experience the functionality of enlightening being in the midst of ordinary affairs. Sudden enlightenment is the result of such actualization of one's enlightening function whereby ego reverts to its rightful relationship with one's selfless nature. As for reincarnation, this is not only lifetime to lifetime— it is thought to thought. Since a lifetime is essentially thought, why not just work with reincarnation on the level of thought? Dry up the habitual streams of thought by simply observing habitual thoughts. Reincarnation is unnatural. Your own nature has never begun— that's non-origination. Habit energy is karmic. What's with that? You already experience that directly without being aware of it. What's with that? ed note: typo 3rd; 9th paragraph

Just relax your eyebrows. That's an excellent place to start your "relaxation" practice. Keep them relaxed no matter what is going on around you. As they are right around you eyes, in your face, so to speak, your mind will be sure to follow. True meditation is not really a matter of visualization or just sitting. Practices such as these are temporary expedients whose aspects of reformative application is entry-level— yet not to be missed. Meditation in action as popularized by Chogyam Trungpa, was the re-introduction in the West, of the dynamic practice expressed in the public sphere— not in private. Nevertheless, such practice is an "open secret; nobody knows. Mindfulness 24/7 without temporal borders is true meditation characteristic of adepts, warriors and enlightening beings. By the way, enlightenment doesn't change anything. Nothing at all is instantly conferred upon sudden realization of one's inconceivable nature. Enlightenment is just seeing who you already are (it's not the person). The person is left behind and isn't invited to that party~ hahaha!! Activating the mind without dwelling on its contents is reality; is seeing reality. Enlightenment is no different. It's mind. That it's your mind right now means that subtle response is not derived of one's own power. Presence is spiritual; nothing special. It's non-psychological awareness as one's innate mind. Ultimately, there are no instant fixes in terms of sudden realization or having done so oneself outside of time and creation. Nevertheless, miracles do happen— don't bet on it though. Just roll up your sleeves, sweat it out and DO THE WORK. As for, "I want to release my blocked energy. I don't know if this is a mind problem even." The key words here are: I want to release my blocked energy. The main blockage is me, my, I want. I'm not criticizing your choice of words!! I'm just using them to make the point, Phrae❤︎ In the same way as you would be aware of your eyebrows at all times, be aware of "blocked energy" at all times. What is this "blocked energy" (belonging to me). Just see the energy as it is. Who is the one who is needing to "release" this "blocked" energy? The post below suggesting another method of "doing", is precisely what I am hoping to avoid because anything you "do" re-inforces the identity-properties of the doer, that is, the false self relative to me, my, I want, I know, etc. Real practice is a very subtle endeavor— it is actually entry into the inconceivable. That's mind. Energy is potential. That there is blockage isn't energy. Psychological patterns themselves are "blockage". Energy, per se, is impersonal. Blockage set up by self-reifying psychological habit is an issue of mental hygiene that is addressed by long and gradual self-refinement instilled by subtle observation of mind by mind. When I say "psychological", that is inclusive of any and all aspects of the psychological (self-reifying) apparatus of the being that is going to die. As such, that includes everything thought, known, felt, intuited, acted out or suppressed, dreamed or even forgotten. Use "blocked" energy (as a point of distinction) to focus subtle observation. Clarify mind by observing mind without judgement. There has never been any other "self-refinement". Self-refinement is refining the human mentality until it *poofs*. Under a constant subtle scrutiny fueled by an unbendable intent, ego-consciousness invariably (eventually) craps out, even if it takes lifetimes. The interruption of conditioned consciousness by non-psychological observation is the world-honored event whereby you see your nature, see essence, forget the skin-bag, experience sudden illumination, drop-off the bottom of the bucket, etc. In the aftermath of the sudden, there is further self-refinement resulting in dropping off dropping off. Until this occurs, one is still not "liberated". Enlightenment, per se, is not the ultimate— it is merely planting the seed of buddhahood in the homeland of nothing whatsoever. Taoism calls this emptying out openness. Oh? I'll be really sassy here… no mind, no problem. No-mind is who you really are right now. Use no-mind to observe mental activity. Can you do "eyebrow yoga"~ while putting your liner on? heehee❤︎!! ed note: typo in 3rd; add last line in 4th; added a bunch in the middle; typo 11th paragraph

The insight isn't about hurting oneself and/or others, though that is what resonated in you in terms of knowledge. That experience is an instance of real knowledge. Hurting, per se, isn't necessarily a bad thing— it depends on the time. The point of your spontaneous insight (not random) is that the essence of karma is essentially unified. It is possible to use karma (in a form of practical reversion) to restore one's unified enlightening function. That you know this truth (inasmuch as you experienced it directly) cannot be denied.

I'm not. What's the difference?

Do you know of anyone who lives in a cave, Javier? I don't. In the past, this has been done at specific stages of one's spiritual development s part of a community effort, but that has pretty much died out in the present. Nothing is gained by such activity in and of itself, per se. Clarifying mind in the midst of affairs is how one expresses enlightening activity. One must have an authentic foothold in everyday ordinary situations, the "marketplace" as it were, to practice self-refinement effectively. Certainly, it is advantageous to seek solitude for a time— but not habitually, or as an escape to compensate for an inability to cope with conventional social activity. In the midst of situations is where the most effective and rapid developmental evolution can occur because there is a natural mixture of yin and yang. In the solitude of the mountains, or "in a cave", there is only isolated yin— so there is nothing to work with. This will not do. Asceticism has been proven as an ineffective path in helping people to achieve the world-honored result over millennia. This is the most galvanizing and practical realization the buddhas, saints and prior illuminates have learned and have openly passed on to us. "Private" practice has no basis in reality. If one's "practice" can only be done in private— it is not worthy of the name. Good question, Javier❤︎!!

Everyone has a part in actualizing the creative in terms of synergistic cooperation— especially when it's asked of one. I'll try to add a few if I can, Tearos… Better than Sax Earned my Wings Mistakes Were Made Party In My Mouth I better stop here~ hahhahaha!!

This is cutting right through. Excellent!!

Spirituality is fully engaging everyday ordinary situations selflessly by adapting to the potential inherent in the situation itself. How is that different from… hmmmmm? Spirituality is not something somewhere else limping along in an isolated capacity. Spirituality is seeing through phenomena without denying their characteristics and adapting to conditions according to the time in the midst of delusional existence without relying on one's own power. Therefore, one's response is subtly derived of the very spiritual stuff that essentially comprises oneself in the context of the situation. I don't see why there needs to be a dualism attached vis a vis self-refinement (personal development) and spirituality. Spirituality, in terms of actualizing one's inherent enlightening potential, is just awakening to and gradually stabilizing one's effective intimacy with non-psychological awareness in the midst of ordinary situations unbeknownst to anyone.

Just observe this excess and follow it back to its source without going back to sleep. You will eventually find that there is nothing there. Don't be afraid of excessive thinking, just be wary of not noticing it. Thought isn't reality. Observing thought without making further discriminations is reality.

Reality and delusion are not different. What this means, relative to the OP, is that "actualization" isn't out there. Your own activation of this inherent potential is all there is to it— not that anything changes— on the contrary, creation will spontaneously challenge you with perfectly scripted scenarios to prove your fledgling actualization in the everyday ordinary situations in which you are already involved. To address lmfao's narrative (hi, lmfao)— yes absolutely, genuine relationship is all there is for us to work with (even if that means not being able to work with certain relationships). Toxic relationships are poisonous, so a little bit goes a loooong way. Don't tarry here!! It is not necessary to have friends if there are none to have at any particular time or place. It's a fact. Authentic relationships are not all that common either, but our everyday ordinary interactions with the world at large are tremendous opportunities to prove our openness and sincerity for no reason at all. That is selfless behavior that involves no moralizing relative to societal views. Courtesy is universal, and when we are truly alone in the world, our self-reflective identities become all the more transparent in terms of subtle self-refinement. The proof of our development comes when we meet the challenges (opportunities) that come our way as a direct result of our ongoing spiritual actualization. Awakening to our inherent enlightening potential actually uncovers our weaknesses and shadows throughout the never-ending process of self-refinement. I believe that might refer to co-dependent relationships? Some people spend most of their lives alone for whatever reason, while others are unable to find solitude. The whole world itself, in terms of practicing self-refinement, is ever-ready to meet who you are at any given time and place. To be able to embrace that fact in practical terms, is inconceivably insightful. To grasp the meaning of this subtle truth is key to realizing a dynamic activation of one's innate enlightening potential over the long term, moment by moment.

hi Spicy~ this is the wonderful place… what to do (or not) isn't it. Ya, this is what it is. I will speak in terms of spiritual alchemy. What is it? It's not thinking. It's not denying. It's not knowing. This whole is a ball you have the potential to deal with on an abstract level, if you are able. This is a tremdous opportunity. Without thinking, denying or knowing, can you seal it up void of intellectualism? Seal it up simply by not dwelling, yet not denying. You can do this because you already know without entertaining any ruminating deliberation that can only waste the exquisite potential. There is a quality of suspension able to supersede the evo/devolution you are on the cusp of by having broken open the potential of the situation. There is a tremendous potential available to secrete away in terms what is called non-psychological abstraction. Your partner intuitively knows (as do us all) the nature of this potential— you can steal it. This the real (the potential). You aren't really "stealing" anything as it is already you. Can you seal it away void of intellectualism to "incubate" it until it purifies naturally in the "empty vessel" of your immaterial body of awareness that has no location? This energy can help you evolve inconceivably if you can avoid intellectualizing the multifarious aspects of the maelstrom in terms of particulars. It is possible. It is natural. It is inconceivable. It develops all by itself naturally. You don't have to do anything. The hard part is just that. The key is to be humble and truly grateful, open and sincere about nothing in particular, other than the goodness of your life as is. This situation is like a huge spotlight putting everything in silhouette with extreme contrasts. The wonderful place is on the verge of going into action in perpetuity. Lucky you❤︎

How wonderful, Jacob— since you already know what it is, and how it is in terms of relativity and grating conventionality, just continue to hone your inner knowing by becoming a smoother interface with temporal phenomena, situations, energies. It's true practice in terms of 24/7 concentration. In my experience, it is a matter of further developing one's sense of transparency to reach the outer from within; whereby one uses the outer to further refine the inner. The outer is all we have to work with~ there is no denying that much …❤︎

It seems mr GomeGabrielDa…'s "who," cut and run (after further deconstructing his OP to the point of packing up and leaving town on a rail). To quote Don Juan Matus (again), "Ego is such a prick, it would rather kill itself ." ed note: remove one redundant "further" in first line

Well, Gabriel… Instead of changing your OP's title and content, why not just continue the thread as posed, and work with that? Are you some sort of recreational philosopher looking for wiggle room? There is not even nothing in the circle. There is no room, surface, space, location— much less hope. Floating around in the center of the compass is itself the center which has no location. This is the center. Its point of illumination is "who". The circle has no "where". As for who, the one who requires proof~ who might that be, Gabriel— since you mention it? In terms of your OP, what is it? As for your last line, is that to mean that doubt is commensurate with belief? If so, I'll go along with that much. ed note: add "— much less hope." in the 3rd line; add last line and quote

hi Gabriel~ Without engaging any sort of philosophically recreational speculation… If inconceivability is non-originated, and awake; void of inside, void of outside, void of voidness: how is there motion or stillness? Having no location, inside or outside, the locus is whole, complete, perfect. How is there "surface"? Particulars are either a self-reference or ineffable. Knowing has no self. Knowing has no origin. How could there be "location"? "There is no thing" isn't a manifesto of nihilism~ it's the nature of non-dual Reality in the midst of delusional existence. It's "who knows". Neither noumenon or particular are harmed. This is itself awake. No-thing is awake, is what is awake, is your own mind right now. Just this is "who". Who is knowing, is the same as knowing; there is no "who" that partakes of knowing. Knowledge of particulars is relativity; "who" is not relative. Perception itself has no relative aspect. Awake is. There is no reason why. Nobody knows. Our nature is simply and selflessly "awake". Who knows, there being no knower, known or liver of life? Who knows? To talk about if (anything)… is that something else altogether?

@cirkussmile~ turning the shining mind into thought to self-reflect on shining mind destroys potential. Just see and let it be. It is mind. Observing is seeing. Spontaneous seeing is concentration. Concentration is cessation of random sensation: stopping, seeing. Stopping and seeing; concentration and insight. When one reaches insight, let it go, or insight is damaged. Observing stopping and seeing is the heart of the reformative practice of subtle observation— and beyond. Just noting the contents of mental activity by mind itself clarifies mind itself. The music stops. Seeing the music stop without stopping; without deliberation or effort, one arrives at open serenity again and again. Staying here, there is no coming or going in the midst of delusion. Delusion is all there is in terms of creation. Mind, uncreated, naturally obviates cloying incrementality without harming creation. One sees the flow without going along unawares. What more need be done? Nice observation, Neo! ed note: insert note to cirkussmile

This was in response to a PM… I was asked to describe how I carry on from day to day, and note any "techniques" I use. No techniques… just a sensitivity toward the flow of psychological content day in and day out. Simply noting the mental contents without continuing along with their flow is all one can do. It is an ongoing subtlety. Sometimes I'm not so successful for a time. Whether I'm successful or not isn't as important as just continuing to note the chatter or silence without entertaining thoughts of anticipation— just accepting inherent goodness, as is; and resting in the gracious satisfaction of what is, as the natural course of being, sensing: knowledge without identification. What is key is not being attached to outcomes; just a dedication to meeting the requirements of subtle (or not) response to everyday ordinary situations. A buddhist directive is to "see through phenomena without denying its characteristics." In other words, meet creation with potential (I touched on that in my response to your OP); that is, deal with the situation on its terms without getting caught up in the flow of personality identity issues or anticipating and clinging to outcomes. It is a matter of not positing personalistic thought patterns in the course of responding to phenomena according to the situation's potential. Assessing situational potential is not a matter of speculative (what's in it for me) mental gymnastics, it is actually seeing what is, and directing a sustained course toward a (sometimes distant) point which is dependent on the situation itself. It is the situational potential one responds to, because any situation is a created cyclic event. Taoism is an awareness tradition that espouses elemental distinctions for working with creative (created) cycles as a science. Spiritual adepts master seeing reality in order to follow along with creation's flow of events with a non-psychological perspective void of personalistic selfish views in order to "gather" its unrefined karmic potential. Simply by not entertaining selfish views nor being attached to outcomes, one's response IS to potential, in terms of the situation itself. It's not a calculated affair. It's spontaneous and non-psychological. And that is spiritual. That's easy to say but hard to implement sometimes, in that the spirit of the directive is not advocating a prejudicial posture of robotic insularity (in terms of a perceived hostile environment). The key is being aware of the real potential comprising the situation and working with that, over the long term, so as to keep a consistency relative to the situation's karmic evolution. In terms of warfare, it's best to win without fighting. If one must fight, it's best to conclude hostilities in the shortest time as possible. A long drawn-out contention is not always avoidable. That's why saints, sages, buddhas and spiritual adepts apply themselves by working at the most subtle level of impersonal energy they possibly can. Dealing with situational potential is a subtle affair. Just this is powerfully subtle spiritual practice in and of itself. The entire situation is an organic karmic entity with many smaller karmic cycles comprising the larger. That's why war is the last resort of enlightening leadership. As such, warfare is. There has never been a time in human affairs where it hasn't been exercised. And to that end, it can (and should) be profitable to wage it. Potential is the "workable" aspect of essence, in that it is unrefined. That's the karmic element spiritual adepts work with in order to refine themselves. They work with essence. Using situations to gratify the self is utter bondage to karmic evolution that never transcends creation. Working with essence directly without intermediary is the means to self-refinement by virtue of using situations to transcend creation while in its midst. Transcendence is not about conjuring a state whereby one floats in the air (not that I don't recommend it highly), it is, in taoist parlance, "planting lotuses in fire, sublimating oneself spiritually and physically in order to enter the Tao in Reality." Essence is not different than karma, but neither is it the same. Potential is the name used to point out the occult functionality. That's what is driving situations anyway, but not assuming ascendency over the karmic reality by sheer force of will is the only real "technique" I can ascribe to in the course of spiritual alchemy. One does not rely on one's own power, one only uses (gathers) the potential inherent in the situation itself simply by virtue of seeing reality. Sometimes, the best thing is to withdraw from the situation, either physically or by choosing to vacate that particular psychological space. Right now I'm not talking to my mother… hahahhaaa!! ed note: add "or anticipating and clinging to outcomes" in 8th; expand topic of warfare in 12th;"… is the only real "technique" I can ascribe to…" in next-to-last paragraph

hi Crystalous~ that's a lot of questions! It is so very important to ask these questions too! Enlightenment is not the person. Who asks? Enlightenment is itself the question, and enlightenment is itself the answer. One's enlightening function is activated to the degree the person stops acting compulsively based of views of self and other. Self and other aren't changed, and enlightening activity isn't based on self/other dynamics. Seeing self and other without compulsively identifying as the situational personality is all it amounts to. That much doesn't even depend on sudden enlightenment happening to you. The reason why is that enlightenment is already the nature of awareness. Though ordinary people are aware, they are not awake. What's the difference? Ordinary people use consciousness to create illusion. As for those whose enlightening potential is functionally non-dual with respect to everyday ordinary situations, the simple fact is that reality and delusion looks exactly the same to them (because those two aspects of duality are the same). But only those who are awake see reality— whereas ordinary people see delusion simply due to the fact that delusion is the act of seeing self and other compulsively through identifying as the situational personality. And acting on such presumption (selfishness) is what results in consequences that perpetuate the illusion of the false self. Consequences is what constitutes karmic bondage. Since enlightenment is not the person, nor is it relative to the person, who would judge personally? Objectivity is the hallmark of enlightening being. Instantaneous knowledge transcends discriminatory consciousness. Judgement, is relative to the self, whereas knowledge is absolute. If you know what it is, who it is, how it is …what's to judge? Who's to judge? What could there be to act on? There is no "who" relative to knowledge. It just is. Enlightening response is relative to the power of unrefined potential inherent in the situation itself. Enlightening being isn't the person. It's spiritual. If reality and delusion are the same, how is that so? It is only in seeing reality by virtue of non-psychological awareness that individuals are able to see without identifying with the person seeing. It is seeing alone which constitutes enlightenment. There is no other enlightenment. That seeing is impersonal or selfless. Selfless is the nature of awareness. It's not good or bad. It certainly isn't self or other! But it's not different either. It is simply what constitutes unity, that is, reality. Those who see reality, actually see delusion as non-dual. That is how enlightenment works in terms of everyday ordinary situations. As for internal dialog, real knowledge is not a matter of words. Internal dialog is a habit that only serves to perpetuate the false self by cultivating and grooming a sense of self, relative to others. Mental hygiene is basically cultivated by perpetually observing the thinking mind by the non-thinking mind. It's not that there are two minds. Mind is one, and mind is the true self that has never thought a thought, much to the chagrin of the false self who uses awareness to create illusion. You are already a "normal enlightened person" because you don't know your own mind right now. Your own basic mind right now is already enlightenment itself but you don't see it because the basic mind is completely occupied with perpetuating the illusions of psychological momentums that have no beginning. Clinging to such momentums perpetuates karmic evolution and further solidifies its tendencies. That's why you say that we are not enlightened. But enlightenment has no tendencies; it is spontaneously as is. Since delusion and reality both have no beginning, and mind is one, how can we arrive at seeing the truth of the matter of life and death? Somehow, it is possible to stop acting on illusion, and therefore stop perpetuating bondage to it. Drugs can have a (hopefully) temporary effect on the calcified habit-energy already dominating the thinking mentality. Certain drugs affect certain people a certain way, in that it is possible to use drugs effectively, in order to break up the learned psychological certainty of an absolute selfhood, based on the thinking mentality. But only certain people at certain times during their lives, are susceptible to the the advantageous use of certain drugs, for the purpose of breaking down the the certainty of the false self without damaging its beneficial aspects. Ego is inherently unstable. One must have a healthy, light-hearted, good-natured, non-calculating sobriety in order to approach the use of drugs without developing psychological and physical dependancies on the chemical, neurological and sensual elements involved in experiencing their effects. People who spontaneously see their nature and experience sudden enlightenment realize that they have never existed (nor has anything existed). As such, enlightenment is already what is innate without even being created; without you even being created. People who see this and know this realize that enlightenment doesn't change anything because enlightenment is itself the Changeless. Awareness is miraculously so~ no one knows why it is the way it is. It is our true selflessly so nature, complete and perfect in every way. Since we are created, it is a long (natural) process to reverse the incrementality of karmic bondage and instantaneously revert to the uncreated source of our essential nature and it is also a long process to integrate the experience and inherent power of the Absolute in our lives in its aftermath. "People become buddhas and buddhas become people." Therefore, people who experience their nature aren't any different before or after seeing their nature. What that means (to answer your very astute question), is that ego is not a bad thing at all. Ego is a function of the psychological apparatus of the being that is going to die. So to "become egoic again and forget the wisdom you gained" isn't the issue because enlightenment can't be gained. Nothing is gained by complete perfect enlightenment. The individual who experiences the Absolute is not different nor the same because just this is the nature of inconceivability. Knowledge of not-knowing has its effect on those who experience open selfless primal awakening to inherent non-origination. Ultimately, there is absolutely nothing to know but by virtuous reception of inherent potential through nature of awareness itself. The phenomenal realm is to be adapted to on its terms without attachment to outcomes. Adapting through potential directly, there is nothing else and there is nothing left to do by enlightenment. By virtue of delusion, one sees reality step by gradual step. Seeing reality does not depend on experiencing sudden enlightenment— neither before nor after. The gradual and the sudden are a seamless continuum. When conditions meet, reality is perpetually on the brink. This is arrival; presence: resting in the highest good. The real issue in terms of the aftermath of seeing essence (seeing your nature) is that habit energy CAN re-assert itself by degrees. That's why it is necessary for people to practice gradual self-refinement before AND after sudden illumination, by watching over the thinking mind 24/7, so as to avoid following it unawares. That alone is the best thing people can practice. Mind watching mind in terms of the created is not so different than mind seeing mind in terms of the absolute. Mind is one. Entry into the inconceivable is seeing that Creation is not other than the Absolute. This is the meaning of unified awareness~ not that it means something, because there is no intrinsic meaning nor is there anything psychologically or physiologically relative to Thusness. The whole point of enlightenment (relative to enlightening activity) is that we learn to adapt enlightenment to delusional conditions. Why? Because enlightenment is not separate from ignorance. Seeing your nature is one thing, but learning to make it the essence of your life is quite another. Enlightenment is the vehicle; delusion is the path. ed note: add "What could there be to act on?…" 12th; add most of the 21st (after the quote); add most of 24th and 25th paragraphs

You're welcome, Haniff~ wow!! That's incredible about your challenges and how you are working with them directly to follow your light. The famous American guitarist Chet Atkins would practice in tiled bathrooms for the echo! Maybe you could use a rental storage space or metal shipping container? I can't guess the name of the religious tradition you grew up with by your name, Haniff-- (I don't get jokes sometimes~ they just go over my head possibly due to some sort of autistic condition). I end up laughing anyway because the people think it's funny …(get it?) hahahhaaa!! Also I didn't have brothers and sisters so I never learned how to fight properly— but I got better eventually. I'll make a correction here to qualify my original post: Oh, and thank you very much, Haniff— for the compliment too! I guess it comes with the territory bit by bit by a long dedication to effectively expressing a living tradition that encourages subtly adapting the ineffable to conditions. ed note: add quote and last paragraph

I've never had any intention of talking aloud about these things, Haniff~ but entertaining this approach for at least a few months sounds like a great idea. It's a tremendous boon to have been inspired and moved by the creator and developer of this website enough to envision integrating uplifting subject matter into your natural bent for oratory. Study, ponder, write and give voice to what you know in your heart based on real experience and wordlessly spontaneous insight. Research this passion deeply for the rest of your life~ even if you only talk aloud for hours with no ones' knowledge. The expression of the phenomenal aspects of self-actualization requires a great breadth of study, absorption and experience into the source (of your own natural insight) of this planet's current, long-remembered (and long-forgotten) non-psychological/awareness traditions. That, in conjunction with patterns of pre-historic human migration on this planet has long fascinated me. When authentic personal vision such as yours moves one to act on such matters, the result can be transcendent in that its expression in terms of practical oratory cannot be casually mistaken for proselytizing. That you get to study and wonder about all the great treatises, poems, songs and culturally (or otherwise) derived symbolic genres and further devise logical and experientially-based commentary to clarify and express the manifold layers of significance embedded in the great works of humanity's inconceivably inspired literary (and scientific) progeny is icing on the cake. If I didn't covet anonymity, I wonder if someday maybe I might ever be moved to do that too like you! ed note: add "is icing on the cake" to penultimate paragraph

hi mr Man… Yes, this should be a good lesson that though the commitment felt good~ it is telling that this obligation fulfilled a need for self-validation. I don't usually do this, but I will quote the explanation of the 1st line of the 32nd hexagram Constancy of The Taoist I Ching, in its entirety. So the basis of constancy must be correct from the start for there to be benefit. She possibly felt safer "committing" to one who needed fixing rather than going with the accomplished CEO, in this case, which is equally telling. I didn't consult the I Ching in this instance, mr Man. I already knew the pattern and am familiar enough with decades of experience with the I Ching to have gone directly to that line to confirm the gravity of this situation. It's definitely a drag when you accept the "right" task and it doesn't work out… ❤︎

Saints and sinners only exist in the eyes of their besotted beholders and hagiographers. (That would be drunk with views of self and other.) All prior illuminates have histories. Don't be so quick to denigrate those who have seen their nature. Even angels commit murder. Selfless activity is transcendent beyond any notion of morality. Ultimately, good and bad have no basis in reality. Saints, sages, buddhas and wizards are categorically beyond convention. Unless you have the audacity to fulfill your ultimate destiny, you will be subject to your own recriminations in the eyes of others no different than yourself right now. Can you free yourself of patterned comparisons on the spot? If not, find out why— then turn over the whole raft of opinions. Actualization of your own enlightening being is not by a teacher, teaching, tradition, or cultural affinity. It is mind alone. It would be wise to stop wasting energy on such concerns as this. Who can spare the energy to address your issue with eternity? No one can; therefore, I will take it upon myself so you won't have to from here on. When you have stored enough energy to step right over eternity yourself, what will it have mattered that you were once subject to the nameable? edit note: typo 5th paragraph

hi Lucas~ I can sympathize with you, even though I never experienced the depression or feelings of separation that you are going through. I never had a family and have always had a very independent (self-directed) life-style. Whether in relationship or socially independent, I never knew what would be considered a definitive outcome of any given situation. I have never made plans or mapped out life-goals. I don't recommend that people try that at home. My general "practice" is what can be described as taoist spiritual alchemy. It's not taoist by any sense of the word~ it's just that a certain school of taoism has long kept a body of knowledge relative to secretly adapting enlightenment to conditions alive for thousands of years, and I often use its organizational vocabulary as it suits my experience and temperament. Its protocols are not dependent on sudden enlightenment. Anyone who can begin to see potential can gradually develop the body of awareness over time. Its parameters can be described as "enlightening activity" which consist of incremental processes depending on the time using the potential inherent in any given situation whereby one "takes over creation, and steals its potential". There are some absolutely ravishing songs from the ancient illuminate and bard by the name of Mirabai (India) expressing her longing in the aftermath of sudden illumination and subsequent life on the road as a "homeless" illuminate. Yours is the classic situation, Lucas. In the Hindu tradition, your current status is that of "householder". Equally as well, in the Chinese classic cultural milieu, men and women were expected to fulfill proscribed social obligations (if one was not already committed to a monastic track), before re-dedicating themselves to spiritual concerns later in life (which was also expected!!). I feel you are already set up for the long-haul, non? If so, try to look forward to maintaining a continuous subtle concentration in regard to your non-psychological awareness practice while you dedicate yourself fully to your social/professional obligations. In twenty or thirty years, you will be in a position that has long been mapped out for thousands of years, that is, for when you to take up the inconceivable gradually, in earnest~ if it hasn't already caught up with you by then. I would look into the ancient southern taoist (Chinese) schools of "grafting" or energetics programs by the time you are into your 30s, to keep your subtle-body toned, so, by your 40s, you should still have plenty of energy for renewed concentration into un-conventional studies when your social/professional obligations will possibly lessen. That's just a general timeline that has worked for people such as yourself for the last several thousand years…❤︎

haha!! As long as ego is still in charge of the being that is going to die, melancholy will rear it's selfish little head— just note it and carry on. Melancholy is a self-deceptive phenomena. It is due to ingrained self-importance. The task of continuous self-refinement is endless. It is self-importance masquerading as you feeling empty (if I am understanding your post correctly, Lucas). Please try not to place too much emphasis on a few "enlightening" experiences. The depth of one's selfless experiences is what determines the quality of what can be brought to bear in terms of everyday ordinary situations— which is the point of activating one's inherent enlightening function at all. Developing the energy-body through continued self-refinement and subsequent spontaneous non-ordinary forays into non-psychological awareness is a long long process. Do not live in anticipation as that will destroy the subtle potential that enlightening activity accumulates gradually. Extreme alpinists who have tasted the "other side" often feel the same way, or else they experience extremely severe depression as long as they can't stick their necks out beyond the edge and over the line of conservative reasoning where they can get that "fix" and feel "alive" again. I doubt that you have gone far enough at this point, Lucas. I really don't~ especially because "Everything is great, I am married with the woman of my life, a great job, a great life, I have plans, I have an awesome family, I have support, I have all I need". So much self-referencing going on here. If you have indeed gone far enough Lucas, and you have only seen essence, the absolute, then you can go no further. As far as "how it works" goes, I would have to say that you have no knowledge of the "science of life". That is a taoist terms for adapting enlightenment to conditions or working with essence directly without intermediary in the course of everyday ordinary situations. The admonition is "see essence on your own, then seek a teacher". If you know but are unable to apply that knowledge, then you are no different than those who have no knowledge. That's a fact. Then again, in the aftermath of authentic enlightening experience, it always takes years to reach a practical maturation of one's selfless potential in terms of properly activating your enlightening function. When one gains insight, it is then necessary to withdraw from further effort, or insight will be destroyed. As I have said often enough here and elsewhere, "the spoils of victory are lost in celebration". I doubt you have gone far enough yet~ I really do— but it really doesn't matter because processing minor enlightening cycles or the biG one must be handled in the same way. One must walk the dusty path, chop wood, carry water, step by gradual step. All prior illuminates were no different. Only when one can forget all fascination with "plans", unfulfilled ambitions and the unfathomable beyond and just "step over eternity" itself, can one actually enter the path of enlightening activity consisting of endless transformations "planting lotuses in fire" and in due course sublimating oneself physically and spiritually. This is how one enters the inconceivable without end. Lighten up-- endless transformations~ woohoo!! heeheehee❤︎!! I suggest not to place too much importance on your enlightening experiences and submerge yourself in meeting your day-to-day challenges. What is most important is to keep a subtle and constant concentration of observing mind and recognize spontaneous opportunities to refresh enlightening potential in the midst of ordinary situations. All I'm saying is don't be in a hurry, Lucas.

Obviously, there is no easy way that is accomplished in a short amount of time. But it's not about any amount of time either, because authentic insight is instantaneous. Habituation is being "stuck" on images and not seeing knowledge, in that it flies right through you— that's how objects "steal" from you. It is actually necessary to learn how it works, in the course of everyday ordinary affairs: there is an ineffable element in parallel with proceeding. Of course, you already know that innately …it's the reason for wondering in the first place-- but getting into its working is a long way off at this point. It is mainly a matter of using the fuel of desire and not being concerned with the work, the length of time, the heart-ache, the bewilderment. Without the girl, how would one proceed? How would one wonder? It might be what you are quantifying as seeing… but seeing is itself the accomplishment. It's already not the girl. Seeing is itself the quality of It's no boundaries has no account of quantification in terms of herself already. It's already there and it's not other than yourself …but you just don't see it~ there is no cause for concern, because you will learn. In practice, it also doesn't matter that anyone else isn't seeing. No one will know. Only those who are no-one know this. That might sound philosophical, but I'm talking about letting desire lose itself into the potential you are projecting as a device. It's not something you do. You let it lose itself into the potential you are projecting as a natural course of responding to situations. Projection isn't bad; whatever it is, accepting it for what it is without really seeing it— and going on without missing a beat accomplishes something. I can't say what-it-is, because what-it-is is ineffable. People who work with essence directly without intermediary pass through, that's all. What I'm talking about is exchanging yourself for the desire~ and then letting the desire off the hook. It's crazy, of course, but that in itself is already transcendent activity in that "going on" isn't a matter of coming or going… "Going on" is accepting what-it-is without seeing it relative to yourself— just this is itself passing through. There is no way to know "what-it-is". You will never know what-it-is. But there is a way to learn how and when to use what-it-is at will. Perhaps, some day, you will be able to prove your selfless nature in actual events without anybody being the wiser. Taoism calls this following desire without stepping over the line. Not stepping over the line is accomplished by mind alone. Action or inaction is unnecessary about 100% of the time. Action or inaction relative to the self is "coming or going". I loved your post, Abbn~ it really got my attention❤︎