MisterMan

Thanks for listening. Yeah it's like everything is going down. Falling apart. Now i find my license is suspended. FFFucking hhelll. It's like everything is crumbling away. Like you said, the business relationships never generally last in person. It is generally a healthy thing it has ended. Big weight off my shoulders has lifted but it has happened at a bad time. Where all this stuff has happened. One after the other. Like that story about the old guy and the son who breaks his arm. The neighbours say oh how unlucky! You have lost your son in the busiest time of the season. You must be livid! He says, maybe, who knows. The next day the army comes along and since his son has broken his arm he gets out of having to join the army. The neighbours say "how lucky you are". He says, maybe, who knows. And it just keeps on going like this for a while. To assert the message that it could be unlucky. But who knows whats around the corner. Hrmmm. That is a good point. Me. Thanks me. That legit makes sense. And makes me feel better. Maybe i'll lay off the opiates and try and hook myself onto some of these...thoughts.

Everything is falling apart, wtf. How is it just so completely falling apart like this?

Update! So as a result of looking for my license. I find out that I am suspended! For a further 4 months! They literally didn't tell me. I've been driving 2 months unknowingly. I was on a year good behaviour bond, and the last 10 days. I get done. Which are the rego speeding tickets. I have a trade business with tools and building materials, i've just separated from my business partner. I really don't know what to do.

The last 9 months, split up from missus that had planned on getting married. Had the ring and all. This was the time i started getting into more of the actualised stuff. Not just him. Meditation, visiting bhudist temples that had free meditation classes and stuff. Really got into the theory of it. It was always like that but eventually i saw the fallacy of my ex's vision. She barely had her shit together and wanted more responsibility with marriage and children when she would easily get overwhelmed by small things. Me too. So it didnt work out. It was tough on me because i always wanted to do right by her. We left, the place we were renting at wouldn't aqccept my on my own. Once the lease ended i stayed at a friends for 4 months. Which was great, never fought, got a long really well and went to the gymn every day. Ultimately dropping to 5 times a week. Got very fit, and at only steak, salad and started loading on carbs so my body would absorb more protein into it's muscles. After the 4 months found a place, this is when the next part of the relationship of when i was unhealthy ended. In the business partnership which was another dinosaur or another relationship that was built on faulty premises from my old mind which made those decisions on poor psychological understanding of my own personal boundaries and allowing him to cross them too easily. This caused a lot of resentment. Now that it's over i initially felt a big sense of relief despite having to catch public transport to work as a tradesman that runs his own business. It's very hectic at the moment. But there sure is a lot of change happening. I've currently also applied for a coaching gig for football (the world game) or soccer for all you heretics. As i'm 32 and played at a high level and believe i have a lot to offer the young ones. Especially psychologically as i have a good understanding of the psychological barriers faced as an athlete where doubts creep in. To be able to see that in the young ones and guide them out of it so that they can focus on what's important. There are really many parallels from football, or playing any sport or doing any activity to life. You must face similar hurdles where you face your own limitations/self limiting beliefs. So I have a training session tomorrow i am participating in as a trial to see if i get accepted as a coach for a football academy. Very excited about this. But at the same time things are very overwhelming. I also have a album i've been working on for 3 years already. Only 4 tracks! Collaborations and such as i only do the instrumental beats on a lofi-hip hop album based on self help type of shit. Like projection, the self not existing. these topics that reflected my own state of being as i was made means a lot to me and i'm nearly done the creative part. Just finishing the last song. After that i go to the studio. A lot is happening but at the same time it feels like nothing is happening. As i still feel the same. There have been many threads i've created for help on things that just get outright ignored. So thanks for replying. I'll make sure to check those mushroom things. As for excercising and eating better, i have done that. However i am addicted to opiates which kind of keep me on the same level of conciousness on loop. I'm having a very hard time letting it go. I just want to feel better and don't have faith in the process that things will "just get better" if you be with it. How?

Man, deconstruction is a trip.

Are you saying that we collectively contact Joe through that email suggesting Leo be a guest? Is that's what's happening?

Hey bro. There is this bloke. Trevor Ilsley. He's awesome. You should check him out. He does skype sessions aswell. If you like his content and are interested you can hit him up

God Damn site didn't post yesterday. Paul. Secondly I know OCD. I had facial tics from an early age. Started with blinks, then twitches, it ultimately grew into a multi tic habit where I was rotating between 3 to 4 tics at once every 5 seconds of my life. I know OCD, I've lived it. Do yourself a favour. And give this a try.

Very interesting post. I had a thought today and i think it's an interesting premise that can help explain this whole thing. Or maybe i'm just full of shit. So the premise is pretty much this. The saying goes "at which strand of hair does one go bald?" You can apply this with the relationship that FIRST is a distinction. Which is the relationship between body and mind. Where does one begin and the other end? I think this perfectly fit the bill of explaining nothing. Because baldness does not REALLY exist. That's why you can't find an answer to the question "at which strand does one go bald?" Bald is something that we created. I created. But at what point does the thing that is created become the creator? These distinctions are made on air. It doesn't stick. To apply this to the Body and mind mechanism. To point to the point of distinction between the two? At which point do you change from this? To this? There is no point. And we're here arguing about this :)/ It's the cosmic giggle.

So the work is simply meditating, body scans etc. Practicing mindfulness and presence. That sort of thing? Yeah, that seems to be his main thing. That this is all escapism. My comments got deleted below his youtube video. I was respectful and honestly wanted to hear a compelling response to my questions. I guess he doesn't want to discuss the nature of these things even though it kinda comes with the territory if you're attempting to debunk people.

So the work is simply meditating, body scans etc. Practicing mindfulness and presence. That sort of thing?

could you elaborate?

good call. Yeah i was a bit worried As i had read in the comment section in one of that guys video's that someone got banned for posting content about this. So i was hesitant. Some of those guidelines aswell, had me wondering for a second when i first joined.

But also, at the same time. Those people could be thinking exactly the same thing about us. That we're living in our own bubble that refuse to hear "the truth". That we're close minded because ultimately we disagree with them. and how often I project the devil in others.

Be responsible etc etc Do your own research etc set Intention etc. YES

Everyone is at different stages and "what is" or GOD shines through the lens of our belief systems differently for everyone. Detachment is a strong lesson to learn, take one sniff of the implications of that can get you far. My understanding is..All that LOVE is, is pure acceptance. Willfull participation with what is. Integrating our shadows is a game we can play on this plane but on another level it isn't happening at all. And this is where I, or my ego loses understanding. Because for all of my positioning in life when face to face with the true realisation of nothingness brings forth a rude awakening of sorts. Seeing the game of spirituality when face to face with GOD the path ceases to exist. And i don't really know what to do with that.

Oh no, it was for a bucks party. Had drugs with me and got completely awestruck by one fine lass! Just like Adyashanti says. When we fall in love, we mistake the person for the wellspring of love that is actually being activated within us. So whilst i was completely enamoured with/at her she triggered the ANIMA within me. For in every Male or Female lies the dormant the opposite sex that one needs to integrate in order to fully self actualise. This is how i see this. That she triggered in me a lot of love and that got me thinking as to the nature behind the reaction i had. But i agree with you on the aversion side of things. I definitely seek to escape ALL the time. From my own sense of unworthiness.

I had this one experience at a strippers. Where i was loaded on drugs and spent waaay too much money on private dances. So this had me thinking. Wow, that was a really strong reaction i had to the situation. I typically don't hit strip clubs because the person in me wants something that is real and not a simulation. Although it's funny that therapy is effective at what it does even though it kind of is a simulation of friendship. And that is exactly how i view this situation. This simulation of intimacy really resonated with me. It showed me I was offering intimacy in terms that was directly related to how i was hurting/suffering. This hits me pretty hard. I literally don't know any other way to be intimate than through my own suffering. So for example, when i'm at my most intimate with someone else. I'll be emanating or internally projecting a "it's going to be OK" vibe. Or "it's OK" Maybe intimacy is the only vehicle where I'm aloud to channel suffering? I was hoping to hear some others critiques or just differing views/perspectives on this. Thanks

First they ignore you.

Lol, that would be pretty funny.

LAME Come to Melbourne, Australia!

I think i'm full of shit. As i started writing this i see it would be more useful as a tool to reflect my own ignorance and biases rather than my own knowledge of the two. I'm afraid i'd only really be helping myself. I think it would be good use of your time to do this yourself with the idea that you can potentially be showing yourself ways in which you are biased or just ignorant. I'll definitely be doing this later today. If i come up with some interesting results or conclusions. I'll make sure to post them here.

It kinda feels like being black and a member of the KKK. As in bhuddism they say the symptom of attachment is addiction and addiction leads to etc etc. I've been into this stuff seriously for quite some time now and if anything is getting me out of this emotional addictive loop i'm in. I've gotten to the point where i feel as if every moment in life is no different to a dream state. That my "dream" state and "awake" state can both be deduced to mere projections. That i project at night when asleep, and project when awake. Essentially i noticed that in each moment i was trying to wrestle with something, so as not to let it shine through. Ignoring it, wether it be turning my attention to something else, going to sleep, taking drugs. I noticed my life was this stream of awareness that was trying to block some sort of trauma (or thats what i think it is). However as i've been really opening up, or coming to know the nots that my psyche ties through avoidance and other means the emotional disturbance in suffering from all the things that have wronged me seems to be nonsensical and that i'm not doing any work other than wallowing in my own self pity. Anger comes from this, another mechanism that is used to distract. I've started using this idea of the subselves from Pete Gerlach on youtube which pretty much say that we all have subselves that contradict each other and that you need to mediate between each of these subselves in order to not do the same destrictive behaviour over and over again. I've been doing all this. But you know what it all feels like? Imagine if you have an open wound in your leg. And there is this method you have learned, and that method requires you to get a stick and dig right into the open wound. It feels like i'm doing nothing but aggravating the emotional wounds instead of healing them. Then i do the opposite, i watch the sensations that everything seems to come from. Two completely different methods. Should i only be doing one of them? Is one wrong? Or have i misunderstood both or one of these teachings? Thank you

I had an experience, or an experience was had that informed that I was everything. In the field of awareness I was every problem that had ever been conceived and every reaction to every problem and everything around and in between. It was an incredibly heartfelt experience. A resignation like sigh of relief. It was an experience that integrated a forgotten lesson a heavy dose of mushrooms I had. The simple realisation that I was everything in my awareness and always had been. Talk about recontextualising life. The challenge now whilst having a few breadcrumbs of clues signalling I am everything. Including this challenge and it's counterparts. It seems most of what remains is the lip service without reintegration of this realisation.

Just Leo sayinh "how to stop being a victom" at the start. How he delivers it is profound as fuck. Just the emotional imprint in how I'm reading and interpreting his deliberate movements, body language. Wtf