Heart of Space

Osho was a weird cat. I liked the video, but man does that dude come across as a charismatic insane person like Charles Manson. My mind is not sure what to make of him to be honest.

Trigger culture is a result and perfect example of the age old problem of projecting your own issues onto the external world. No one wants to take ownership for their own psychological shit. I don't blame them though, it can be extremely painful at first.

I like the overall message and I think the speaker is genuine, but I can't help but feel this is kind of a new age religious stuff mixed with buddhism. Stuff about fifth dimensions, tipping points in the world. Lots of assumptions and dogma goes into his world view. Things that I've seen are detrimental to my spirituality. Not to say it couldn't be beneficial for someone else, I don't mean to speak for anyone but myself. Maybe his words just didn't speak to me in particular. Maybe you could provide some help for me to see his words from the proper perspective, @Bodhi123?

My heart broke reading some the posts in this thread. I'm so sorry that you went through those experiences. I deeply and genuinely hope that you all find deep peace and love in your lives. I'm glad you're in this forum because it means you are likely on the right path. I'm not going to respond to specific names because I understand how that could make one uncomfortable being put on the spot. Regardless, I'm hugging you right now through the internet with this post. If I met you I'd give you a warm hug in person too.

This might mean you're about to have a big breakthrough. Keep trying to keep your practice in place as best as you can. If you can't that's fine. Just do your best and try to keep updating the thread.

That is a question best not asked on an internet forum. That's an easy way to get misled. And for the record, this is not a passive aggressive jab at any previous posters. It's just my perspective on this question being asked in this context.

I think it's time for this thread to die. Sorry @Loreena @egoeimai and @Annetta for involving myself in a knee-jerk way without understanding the situation. With that said I'm out! Love you guys, hope your day tomorrow is amazing and drama-free! With that said, I'M OUT!!! Peace.

They do, spirituality makes people uncomfortable because they have deeply held beliefs about reality and questioning that causes stress. Especially when your form of spirituality is something foreign to them. The best thing for you to do to "spread the word" is to let the love for yourself that you gain from your spirituality be expressed in the world. In doing that you are communicating deep spiritual truth without directly talking about it.

Forums like this are a public space, free for anyone to comment. That is their purpose. This problem could have been solved since there is a private message option to message eachother, or mods. I saw the comment in a public space and I felt the urge to comment, so I did. It happened. I'm not sure I really can be faulted.

I don't know, maybe she was targeting you. I'm not necessarily saying she's not. I don't visit or read this forum enough to know. I certainly see that she (loreena) is somewhat immature in her posting (no offense, Loreena). I just felt like the post you made came kind of out of left field, this is just how I perceived it with zero context in terms of your interactions with her in the past. Maybe I'm the one who's off, I don't want to shut you down, or make real feelings and concerns of yours seem completely illegitimate. I mostly just saw it as an overreaction to someone who's immature and attention seeking (again sorry Loreena, it's just my perception). I think your modesty in how you responded to my post is really awesome, thank you for that. I think your addendum about your psychosis is unnecessary. You may have some sort of psychosis, but I don't think it's related. The post seemed more a result of communication problems that result from the [human --> text --> mind] forum interactions. Very normal and I've done it before myself. So, don't be so hard on yourself, Annetta. @egoeimai If only you had waited 1 minute lol

Yea, I have to say your post feels honestly pretty unprovoked. On top of that, if you really are direct then you could have done it through private message. Instead, you took it as an opportunity to "pile on" so to speak since you perceived Leo's post in a certain way. She's certainly a goofball and I can't vouch for her post quality, but I think you're taking things awful personal and lashing out in a really weird way. It is just an internet forum after all.

Your topic sounds like you're having boy trouble, @Loreena. Just read the thread. Oh my, the drama, how entertaining. I think I have some popcorn left in the kitchen. brb

I take spirituality very seriously in a way. It hasn't hindered my progress. It's a big part of my life. I think more importantly we need to love an accept ourselves no matter what our perceived progress is. If you can do that then you can take spirituality as seriously as you want. I'm not so concerned with enlightenment anymore. Ironically, I think talking about it in the way that it is being talked about in this thread is a far bigger pitfall than "taking spirituality seriously." It sounds like someone is making excuses so that they can be lazy about their spiritual development. tsk tsk At least I find this is true for me, others may disagree.

"Love is our most natural state." I've had the same feeling. Like it's simply the way the universe naturally expresses itself. Thank you. I was struggling, but I was only going through a kind of spiritual purging. I almost feel like an entirely different person now. I've never felt love like this before. Thanks for commenting and giving me insight into this, because it's very new for me and I'm trying to understand it.

Hey Martin, remember my thread before where I was going through trouble? I'm not entirely through it, but I made the biggest breakthrough of my life. Every person I come across I feel a deep genuine love and compassion for them as if they were like my own child. A couple people I had this happen to were coworkers that I previously disliked. It's really bizarre. Have you experienced this?

If this is schizophrenia then it's pretty awesome to be crazy. I welcome it.

My first psychedelic was LSD. I did way the fuck too much because they were dropping it on altoids directly from a vial. No idea of the MCG's. LSD can be quite the rollercoaster of a psychedelic. Generally psychedelic highs are long and come and go in the form of "waves." As in you start to get high, then you get a little less high, then you get even more high, then you get a little less high, and so on. The level of the oscillation of those waves varies from psychedelic to psychedelic. Like mushrooms, ayahausca, or mescaline (san pedro cactus) tend to be much gentler waves. LSD can be a wild up and down roller coaster that can take you into the stratosphere really unexpectedly at the peak. It could get really intense, and if it's too much just remember that it will eventually be over. If your trip goes bad you can get the delusion that it might last forever, or that you have permanently fucked yourself up. This is false and often a misinterpretation of the moment after the peak when your serotonin levels dip pretty low and you might feel a "come down" effect. When you're using psychedelics they make you ultra aware, so any minor perceived negative effect in your mind will be blown way out of proportion. LSD is safe and if you have a horrible nightmare trip just now that abstaining from those drugs for little bit you'll be back to yourself in no time. I know I might seem negative with this post, but it's important to have this information if any of this happens so that on some level even if you're panicking you know you're going to be OK. Otherwise, I really hope you don't have to put this information to use and the trip is a deep spiritual experience for you.

Could you go into the specifics of the experience?

I've hit a road bump recently with my meditation. Everything was going really well, I was consistently hitting anywhere from 3 to 5 hours of meditation per day, plus many hours of mindfulness. On top of that, I was eating healthy, abstaining from all addictive things such as caffeine, sugar, alcohol, and sensual entertainment *cough*. Basically, I was really really disciplined and almost all my free time that I had went into meditation. Out of nowhere I started getting an old craving that I hadn't had in years. I wanted to play a video game. Like really intensely. So I borrowed that new Zelda game from my brother and put about 50 hours into it in 6 days beating it just yesterday. During that time I've drink a shit load of caffeine, drank alcohol almost every night. The urges came and it's like all my discipline that I had built up fell apart very easily. It's like I'm at war with my ego. I haven't meditated a single minute in the last week either or made an effort to be mindful. The weird thing is, it feels like something is changing within my experience of reality. I can't put my finger on it, but I've had moments were I have felt very high consciousness, almost psychedelic level. I also had a weird experience yesterday that freaked me out several when my body had this strange feeling of euphoria and energy that is still there now. My leg started moving on it's own and I couldn't control it, the energy went through my body, mainly my upper stomach, neck, and chest area, and that one leg. I literally had the thoughts that I was going die, or have a stroke, it was very frightening and put me into a highly panicked state. Another example I was having a conversation with someone that was highly bothersome to me and I had so much euphoria that I almost forgot what I was saying mid sentence and was smiling uncontrollably like an idiot. There's also a sense of me not making my decisions, thinking my thoughts, or doing my behaviors, so I guess I'm very depersonalized (not in a horrible negative way though, it feels very neutral an inconsequential). It's really bizarre. I'm not typing right now, it's just kind of happening, which is something that I've felt like for a while now, but it feels much more extreme now. I'm not enlightened or anything, I don't mean to imply it at all. There's more stuff I could talk about, but I think this gives you an idea. I don't really have a teacher or anyone more experienced than me that can make sense of this. So, I'm just putting this on the forum just to see if anything valuable comes from it. I know it's difficult to diagnose in detail my experience with a few sentences, but I'm hoping someone can relate to this and maybe make sense of my situation.

Meditation is probably the most powerful tool, it is in my experience. But, but, but, but... I've had powerful and profound results from prayer as well. So, I know there are probably many paths, many tools. See what works for you. Use your intuition.

I had a really profound and humbling experience today. It was a difficult experience, but truly profound and challenged the way I perceived reality. I am in awe. Thanks to those who gave me positive messages, I think it really helped me during the difficult time. I feel like I've gone through a lot in the last week or so, but I know that this is what I want most in my life.

So, a major update. I decided to pray, which is something I rarely do, it just felt right to do. I went into my closet and prayed for a few minutes before the most intense sadness I've ever experienced in my life. It was so intense there was a fear that eventually accompanied it because the intensity was increasing to a level which I've never been sad before. When the fear came the sadness stopped mostly. I was too scared to experience the sadness deeper. I can't emphasize enough how intense this experience was. I felt and still feel deep aloneness. I've been carrying this around for a long time, I have a very troubled past in terms of my well being. And big part of my spirituality has been an attempt to run away from this deep sadness. I feel very defeated right now. I feel like I've lied to myself.

I've actually seen there is no free will several times before I saw Leo's video. And now, I literally experience no free will on a fairly regular basis with the dissolution of the illusion that I am doing behaviors and thinking thoughts. However, I do agree that one should probably stay agnostic in regards to free will if you haven't had the direct experience to reveal what is truth. Ultimately, most of what Leo brings up has to be understood on a deep experiential level to really be fully understood beyond just the intellect. So, I think that your thought should extend beyond just Leo's video on free will. At the same time though, I'm pretty sure Leo has acknowledged this multiple times already. I get the impression that you genuinely want to help people become more aware, Martin, but I think you're going to turn people off to what you have to say when you refer to them as a sheep in a pejorative sense. Perhaps this was unintended and you meant no insult, but I just wanted to tell you how it could be perceived.

Could you expand on that idea a little more?

I used to meditate on weed all the time. After a while I realized it was a huge psychological crutch for me. I'm not saying this will be everybody's experience, but very careful with it. I would say that it's much better to meditate sober. But don't let me stop you from trying it haha