Ruby White

I didn't really know where to put this. It's a poem I wrote a little while back while not feeling so well. I had this insight today that it could make a neat video. Let me know what you think!

I didn't know anything about spiral dynamics. Love this picture

@AleksM I wish I could like this post again and again.

This topic inspired me to share a blog post I wrote this summer :

Let us know! I've been raw vegan for a month a while back. Felt awesome for a bit but then I felt the lack of some nurtients...

That little blazing topic of spirituality, new age bs, and consciousness inspired me to share that blog I wrote back in August. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I haven’t written in a while. The reason for this is because I have been exploring in my consciousness a place where all the voices in my head quiet and dwindle into one stream of muffled chatter. It’s the place of the monad, where all multidimensional existences come into one. I’ve been wondering for a while “who I am”. I’ve been jumping to one consciousness to another, remembering one life after another, calling myself many names. It came with a variety of personality and energetic signatures as well. I explored very male and “light” parts of me. Parts of me that wanted to serve, overcome and be righteous. Then I remembered my other half, the organic priestess in the shadows. The one that speaks of the Earth, of sex, of decay. The one that waits and observe. I love them all so much for they are all my voices. One is out to conquer the world, the other to nourish and be nourished. In that place where all comes into one I feel at peace. There is no drive in me to accomplish anything. Just a desire to be, to exist and to create in a very pure and direct way. To simply express. In that place I feel a string above connecting me straight to source and for the first time in a while I feel Joy. I find equanimity for the hurts of the world. I find purpose without doing and i find perfection. Not a conceptual perfection that needs to be achieved or “worked at”, just inherent perfection. I feel full and complete, not yearning for any twin flames or soulmates for they are all within me. I don’t care for ascension, for galactic wars, for symbols, signs and astrology. I don’t care for self help books. I look at my crystals and love and thank them but I don’t feel they belong to me anymore. They’re are just “there” for me to appreciate. Same goes for my house, my cats, my clothes and everything that I “own”. When i look below i see countless strings linking me to my numerous incarnations of the past, present and future, Galactic and Earth bound, of all genders and forms. Some I can access and “step into”. Some are locked away from my perception but it doesn’t matter now. If I want I can experience reality from their awareness, gaining insights and information, eons of knowledge piled into one giant inner library. Discovering that stream of knowing was certainly confusing at times. My many voices wanted to be heard. While channeling and “teaching” others I would provide myself with the framework I needed for my personal expansion and integration. For a while i worked on the threshold, passing souls through the door but then realizing that I have no interest in coaching them furthermore. I therefore salute and thank all the teachers with the calling, the patience and dedication to do so. Many of you, incarnated and disincarnated, helped me out on the path. I understood for myself that you cannot teach anyone how to spiritually reconnect. You can only show the way. And oh the mind loves its symbols and processes : it hates that things can be so simple. There is definite value in the “many things” of maya but I just cannot dwell in it anymore. I am leaving my spot at the door for someone else to step in and hold it, to be of service In my place. I’ll be the one enjoying the show for a while. Now that I stopped asking “who I am” i started to ask myself “what now”. Because being in a space of almost instant manifestation without any definite desire left me la little bitter for a bit. So much potential and nothing to channel it into. I know I need to live from that monadic consciousness (and obviously falling in an out of it for a while. You know. Traffic jams, bills to pay and whatnot. A little more healing, a little more karma to clear) and bring it into the world but when I tune into it ask what I should do, it laughs softly and answers “nothing”. And so there is nothing to do. Nothing to save, nothing to change. Just pure experience, pure creation and expression. I see that in Presence and Attention is true service to God. I believe that’s what true spiritual Bliss and Joy is about. Not that other thing, not that Kundalini ecstasy that lasts for a minute and leave you face down on the ground. It’s more of a fleeting feeling for me at the moment : a very fine line to balance between nihilism and fanaticism. We know then we forget, then we remember, then we forget to better remember once more. And so it is. Back to contemplate my budding lotus. With all my love, Ruby

I wouldn't know as I barely watched leo's videos nor looked into his course. I realized that I don't exist trough deep introspection and from there everyday have been a quest to reconcile that I see within with what I see without. And that my friend is nothing I could ever prove to anybody else until you live it for yourself.

@Shroomdoctor complete new age bs sounds pretty condescending to me There are good scientific and skeptic forums out there maybe you can try and see if that fits your needs better? No one is trying to convince you of anything. I was just like you 10 years ago. I married a pharmaceutical post-doctorate scientist of Cambridge University. Then Shit happens. I couldn't care less if you believe it or not but your opinion won't stop me to try and share and express what I am living today because it's pretty real and intense to me. Don't believe! Try your own things!! And maybe you'll end up flying off of Earth at some point XD. P.S. I have been divorced for a good while now and guess who's sending me messages today about altered states of consciousness, seeing energy and hearing voices? @blazed No one can prove that anything exists. End of that topic.

@Nahm ahah dude I had that quote pinned to my desktop for like ever. It's words to live by my friend. And I feel my light is still so dim. But so pushing to get out there.

There are only points of views and individual experiences. To me it as boils down to where judgement lies. If there is judgement, there's ego. Wanting to put people in a different box because they do not share your views... well let's just say that didn't turn out too well when you look at history in general. If you're not interested in looking into some else's path or experience, just look the other way. Eventually you'll grow more patient and tolerant. Or start seeing little creatures of your own and you'll be like holy shit I get it now. Your own experience will change and so will that other person's experience. And maybe one day you'll meet down the road. Who knows.

Whenever I see scary things and demons and the like I welcome them. And embrace them and take them in my psychic arms and look at their scary faces and tell them I know they are me. And then they dissolve inside of me.

@Will Bigger I don't assume anything. I know full well this is not safe and I wrote extensively about all the crazy shit I've been through in my blog. Like i said, I've been on hiatus for over a year. There is no way i could directly quell your concerns nor i want to feel like justifying this. The way i can explain it is taking the example of an extreme sport. say base jumping. you know it is insanely dangerous and (if you can convince yourself to actually try this) at first you're telling yourself you can do this because others can do this without understanding how perilous it is. So you do it and it goes fine for a while until you fucking hit your face hard on the ground and almost die. Then you take a while to recover and you have 2 choices. To be scared and to never base jump again, even become an anti-extreme sport advocate telling everyone how dangerous it is and to never try it. OR you get back up there, scared shitless but deciding to push through that fear with all your cells because you know its the most exhilarating thing you've ever done. The only thing that makes you feel alive, that even if you die tomorrow you didn't die wrapped up in fear and entangled beliefs, you died seeking the Truth, your Truth at all cost, scraping your limbs , scorching your face and prevailing one challenge at the time and on top of to documenting it, unsafely becoming a target of all judgements and opinions, so the "world" may benefit from it somehow maybe. But above all because you need to Know. Because nothing else in life is worth living if it not for that knowing of ultimate hows and whys. And each time you attempt a most complicated stunt you get to know yourself a little bit more, to expand a little bit more, to embrace existence and paradox and "reality" a little more. Its like : getting to the Truth or die trying. which is what is gonna happen anyway. Also what makes you think you're EVER safe? (what is YOU? what is SAFE?) I think that being alive is the most unsafe thing I've ever did.

@Annetta if you cant do in by yourself ask a guide's help anyway it always worked for me.

Man that's a pretty disturbing looking "familiar" I'm not sure I would sleep well at night if I knew that thing was lurking in the corners. But in my defense in times where I was very low psychically, I had all sorts of things walking around, creeping in my bed, touching me and once even strangle me. But those were very specific occurrences. There's usually no one there when I project. Just outside the house.

@Dodo If you have a change look up Suzanne Lie's website (http://www.multidimensions.com/). There's quite a bit of free information there about bilocation