Frankie10

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Everything posted by Frankie10

  1. The stare at the end. This is fascinating. By removing ourselves further and further from the processes of nature, it seems like we also remove ourselves further from God. But this also leads to a reawakening now, it seems. Have a great weekend!
  2. ❤️
  3. Hey guys, I just wanted to give a brief account of my experience doing Leo’s ‘Exercise for realizing you are God’ on 2g of dried Mushrooms (McKennaii probably). So after the come-up and blissfully enjoying the energy in my body, the enhanced visuals, and nonetheless realtively clear thinking patterns (about the importance of play and ‘joy of being’ rather than always doing, among others), I decided to do what I had planned, namely doing the exercise for the second time, but this time on psychedelics. The first time, I had a heightened awareness and calmess, but this time this was amplified by 5-10. It was super easy to drop all the layers of beliefs, like the non-existence of the Earth, the cosmos, me as a hunan being, biology, etc, well, because they were simply not to be found within my direct experience. So looking at my hand, swirrling with patterns, laying on a beautiful soft blanket, and a light directed right onto it, I was quite amazed at the beauty and elegance of it. I was also super calm and curious, really in a state of not-knowing. But at the same time, when Leo dropped things like ‘you have been sitting here FOREVER’ or ‘Others do not exist’, I could only laugh out loud in disbelief and thought something along the lines of ‘that can’t be true, that must be a joke’. But also deep down, I kind of suspected it to be true (but probably also due to the material I’ve read and watched on that topic, so I have to drop that too next time). Eitherway, I was in this state of presence and clarity, paired with disbelief and some resistance to those aspects. And I did not break through. I was just glad in a way when it was over, but still something had shifted in my consciousness. Getting up, I thought ‘Do I create all of this? How can that be possible?’, and going down and talking to my mom just still seemed so real, as if it cannot possibly be a dream. A bit later, I was hit with a weird feeling of despair, loss, meaninglessness, which mainly manifested in my stomach. 2 days later, this is still going on, although a bit less, as I am kind of forgetting/letting go of these thruths. I think this is also because I did not break through and it is still only on the mental level; and I also exected an ego reaction after a spiritual practice like this, but it’s still uncomfortable and I kind of lost inspiration for worldy matters (aka life purpose, beauty, relationships, etc.), as it all feels kind of meaningless (which is true) and like being stuck between two worlds. Eitherway, I think it was a step in the right direction, and I would probably feel different If I’d had an awakening experience, and not just heightened consciousness. How do you guys usually deal with the emotional labour of this work? And how do you move forward? Anyway, that’s my experience, I’m certainly keeping up with the practice and slowly diving deeper with psychedelics, but I’m probably not ready yet to see the deeper aspects of awakening, so my focus lies on the no-self experience (which, again, was pretty obvious during my trip, but not fully realized). All the best to you all❤️
  4. You're welcome man! It struck me that this guy had severe depression all his life and killed himself at some point. The speech makes even more sense from that view. Cheers for that
  5. Hey everyone, Last night I tripped on Mushrooms and I wanted to contemplate, do Yoga, be conscious on my body etc. But of course the psychedelic experience gives you what you need and not what you want, as I have heard so often. I will try to explain the confusing experience I had and put some of my questions out there. Would really appreciate some opinions! Background: Even though I have read a lot of books these past 3 years, watched a lot of videos, took notes, understood quite a lot of it intellectually and started to observe many of the things covered by Leo in my own life. I have also got the basics down related to good nutrition, exercise, daily meditation, yoga, journaling etc. My relationships have started to significantly improve, and everyone around me acknowledges that I have changed. It also seemed that my awe for this infinitely complex and beautiful (or, ugly) reality grew day by day, the more I learned and observed, the more I got fascinated and puzzled. 2 Months ago I did my frst Vipassana retreat and I had some quite profound insights into how my emotions work, how I am the source for my own suffering through always interpreting what is, what I need to cut from my life, acknowledging that I still carry trauma from my dad's death when I was 17 and how that has infiltrated my attempts for intimate relationships etc. So all in all, I seemed to move in the right direction (and I still think I am), letting go more and more of my identity and fears and come closer to Understanding. Trip: So the whole trip was basically confusing from the start, I was just in my head. It had a negative/nihilistic undertone in that I didn't see any reason or meaning in anything. I felt like I know nothing at all, despite all the growth and ideas and experiences mentioned above (which are far from all of them). Like everything I thought I knew or had understood has no value. Also, I couldn't really answer, from my own experience, what one should do in life, what the purpose of it is, what we are even doing here etc... So kind of the classic existential crisis haha. So I was really confused and just could not get to a single answer that I could call 'true', and I compared life to an infinitely complex maze, when suddenly I remembered that Leo had a video called 'Life is a Maze'. And man it made so much sense to me. I loudly laughed several times, like when he says that 'Life is a puzzle. I hope you like puzzles!'. So this explanation that we in fact know nothing at all and are just rats in a cage exactly described my contemplation beforehand. I was happy that I am not alone in seeing that life is full of paradoxes. However, some more doubts and questions came up after the video that I will put out there below. Questions: 1. Isn't self-actualization, integrating hundreds of perspectives, and coming up with my own ideas just MORE ego conceptualisations of 'how the world works'? It feels like all those books and ideas always have a counterargument, a book that denies it and comes up with its own 'solutions' and interpretations. It seems to be just more thinking, conceptualising, 'believing' some ideas because they are logical, etc. Or is analysing this (infinite) maze necessary to finally break out of it? 2. Related to this, isn't direct experience (with the goal of full enlightenment) the only thing that is actually True? It is the most direct grasp on reality that we have. But I was confused that Leo said under the 'Life is a Maze' video that mere enlightenment is not enough. So what then? Enlightenment + a meta-understanding of how society, the mind, nature, Business ,... work? Or is the theory absolutely necessary to realize what is really going on? 3. What would you do now in my place? I feel like this experience was necessary, so that I become more critical and start being more independent and not just looking for answers in books etc. and realized that most of my understanding is purely intellectual. I will read Ken Wilber's work now and just got 'Conversations with God' today though, as I also feel like I need some meta-perspectives which I can take in and see if I can, in the long term, validate them. I also think that a non-conceptual practice like self-inquiry may help me to see through the confusion? 4. I also read the argument that in contrast with Leo (and my) view of life as a maze, 'life is a mystery that should be lived and not a problem to be solved'. How could I know which side is right? I feel like both are true at the same time in a weird way. (This is related to question 1) Thank you in advance for taking the time to read this, even though it may be confusing and messy, which represents how the trip was And I would love to get an answer from @Leo Gura. Thank you so much for opening my eyes to the complexity of our existence!
  6. Yeah exactly. Even 20 min in the forest can completely change my state and inspire me. And psychedelics+nature may be the perfect combo. Once I discovered a bee and a butterfly sitting on this beautiful flower, just doing their thing and not disturb each other, while this was a triple win-win situation. That was absolutely powerful and beautiful. Makes sense. I often feel similar. And I often wonder if there are other beings around me who are in the same situation of being open, conscious, and calm. It's interesting that these people are often very inconspicuous though.
  7. @Serotoninluv Haha yep, exactly. Spending time in nature has really been a catalyst for my development, with its incredible beauty, balance, and wisdom it radiates. And I'm the intelligent ape trying to under how the hell everything came to be what it is Would love to do a long hike now to kind of integrate, but it is wintertime in Europe. In what circumstances do you usually have your deepest insights?
  8. Again, this is such a valuable insight! I also really feel different, somewhat more open maybe. And really not in the mood for intellectual stuff. So I think I follow my intuition and decrease input while really focussing on being present and aware. Interesting how I put away a potentially powerful insight because it didn't matched what I wanted to get. Thanks a lot. So grateful that there is a supportive and non-judgemental community.
  9. Wow, thanks guys. That is quite a recontextualization. Again I labeled this experience as undesirable/bad. But at the same time I remember now that I was like: Hey, even if ideas do not seem to be absolutely true, I am here now, and I am present... But I was too anxious to let this realization shine through. But then again it leads to my question of whether it is 'worth' it to read hundreds of books when all I know, at a given moment, is that I am.
  10. Why is there resistance to change in the human system? Isn't evolution & growth aka God knowing/experiencing itself the driving force of life? And is change not the only constant in reality, if yes, why resist to the only thing that is? Does a flower face resistance in its growth process? Does all resistance eventually fade away when the Ego is 'overcome'? Imagine a world without resistance, only flow and growth. Some questions that flow around in my head. Would appreciate any comments or answers from your experience! Greetings <3
  11. Thank you for your answer! I can't really come to find a clear connection between resistance and conceiving matter. I mean, the outside world probably does not change in your view if all resistance is gone. But I guess you refer to the point by @Truth Addict that in the end, resistance and stillstand are dualities which are the 'substance' creating our reality. Thank you. Makes sense!
  12. 2.What Does the World need right now? In an age of massive change and disruption (political, social, environmental, technological,…) the world needs guidance and a strong foundation This guidance could come from several places: being rooted in/connected to nature and our specific homeland -> we are a product of nature (the universe) ->it is the basis of our being (= immersion in nature, learning to live within its boundaries so that both can thrive, stop destroying it, make our cities 'greener', relearning all the wisdom contained in nature and slow down etc) The world also needs Love more than ever -> respect, acceptance, gratitude, selflessness, understanding, service, guidance -> but to love others, we have to be connected to our selves and the world around us (= 'grounded') -> so we need to love, accept, understand etc ourselves first -> looking inside instead of outside (yoga, meditation, contemplation, psychedelics etc) -> moving from Orange to Green (Problem: how to get these ideas applicable for lower stages? -> frame it in their advantage) If this would be in place, it would be more important than understanding/knowledge/intellect/information -> the capacities above serve as a guide so that individuals and humanity can choose the right decisions/paths -> it becomes increasingly difficult to keep up with learning as the world changes so fast (one should still try to though) Collaboration -> in our interconnected world with global problems we need global collaboration, and then everything is possible -> diminish collective egos not augment them Vision -> we have to know where we want to go as a species/country/city/family/individual -> what are our goals, values, purpose? What world do we want to live in? A strong and positive vision (like prob the UN) combined with Love, Collaboration, Connection to our Nature could bring this world 'forward' towards a higher consciousness species Clarity -> As Harari says, obtaining information is not the problem anymore, knowing which information is valid/useable/appropriate is power -> education on HOW to learn, distinguish good from bad information, knowing our strengths and weaknesses etc -> learn in school combined with civil courses+non-BS spirituality (meditation at least) A political sphere closer to the citizens/more humane -> including emotions in it and not having to play roles all the time -> more authenticity, which will give people their faith back in leaders (this would be a probable result of individuals looking inside) An economy that leaves no one behind and works in the boundaries of our natural world -> resources/natural world seen as a main component of economic theory and not solely as an externality (which is not even priced yet in reality -> carbon tax needed) Our world needs visionaries, bravery, consciousness
  13. 1. The importance of Asking Questions Asking questions can help me get more clarity in Life and plan/strategize it in a way that is coherent with my values, purpose etc It can help me to get to know myself better: weaknesses, strengths, problems, beliefs, opportunities etc -> need to work on this Questions and curiosity have brought me a long way -> completely different person than 2 years ago when starting this journey of self-actualization Need to come up with more from myself rather than always just picking up from others/learning -> it sticks better and helps me to identify my limitations Asking questions is a main part of being a Learner for Life, which is one of my highest priorities A (daily) habit of asking a questions and taking time to think about it is a form of self-inquiry which is very important and can reshape my brain and behavior Especially important in times of the internet where you can get answers to everything instantly and no one takes time to seriously do this work for one self -> all sages where question askers (Galileo, Einstein, Buddha etc) It is exciting to get new answers/insights and it is also a very important skill to use while tripping as we channel answers there from the source itself Wisdom/knowledge comes from within and not from external sources It focuses my mind on a specific task which is in itself a very important skill nowadays as it becomes harder to stay focused -> train concentration muscle Try to combine this with energy work -> ground first and tune into Earth and Cosmic Energy so that the Analyzer is combined with Intuition It will also help me in conversations as I have already thought about many things then and don't need to do the whole work in a few seconds or minutes on the spot I will have less confusion and more clarity and energy which others pick up This has the possibility to change my life -> ask 1 question every day, after 5 years you have answered more than 1800 questions for yourself… Harder/Deeper questions may stay unanswered for the time being but when the time is right, due to the groundwork, answers will come to me It is a way for me to be creative and use my strong intellect in a useful way instead of worrying and drama scenarios Questions can give me a completely new outlook on the world, like kids who ask many questions and perceive their environment in a curious, exciting and direct way This may also be an important puzzle piece in figuring out where to go with my life as I am on a crossroad now where my decisions will have quite a big impact on my future It also helps with opening my mind even more and comparing my answers/views etc with others Intro to 'real' self-inquiry where one questions the very core of one's being and life -> first get the fundamentals/practicalities Also combine with questions from Leo's Episode on becoming a modern Sage
  14. ... watch this! Probably the most beautiful piece of art I have ever seen
  15. What makes Enlightenment different from other 'perspectives', as it is said to be just a new perspective on everything we thought we know? Where does its absolute Truth (with capital T as Leo always says) come from? Or is it just the acknowledgement (perspective) that EVERYTHING is a perspective, thus everything being infinite? Or is this just impossible to describe/explain in words due to the very nature of Enlightenment being NOT symbolic/second-hand ? Was just thinking about this, because when explaining it as good as possible to my girlfriend, she always says: But how do you know then that THIS is the ultimate Truth that cannot be falsified? If it is an experience you must have, how do you know that this EXPERIENCE is true and not just another mindgame? Curious what you guys think <3
  16. How do you remove the illusion? What do you do?
  17. Thanks for all your answers, I have to ponder them. But I now know (again) that it is about actually doing the work and not philosophizing about it. It just does not make sense to think of it from an egoic consciousness standpoint. The knife can't cut itself.
  18. True... He makes it really clear. Genius that this guy is.
  19. Hey guys, could you share your experience of working with your dreams in case you have a habit of doing this? Like: What has it done for you? Do you think it's worth doing? What are the motions you go through? etc. I doubt that it will bring me clarity or something since I often have very twisted dreams or do not dream at all for long periods (and I know most things which are usually unconscious and hold me back), but it would just like to hear from you what you think! Have a good day!
  20. Thanks so much for sharing this guys! Sounds really impressive and it is certainly true that I should pay more attention to this part of my/the consciousness. Good Luck on your paths!
  21. This will be my first trip report, so I am not quite sure how I best should write it in terms of structure and how many ‘details’ to include, which brings me right into it…What the fuck do I call ‘details’ and what is ‘essential’ ?! I will just let myself guide by my feeling. But step by step… Right now, I am so completely drained of energy that I wonder how I can still type this haha, I feel like I have climbed Mount Everest and came down again in one day… But let’s take a step back to the start of the day, which was at 5 am. I had to drive my girlfriend to the airport so I had a looong day ahead of me, which I used to trip on 15g of Dragon Slayer Magic Truffles. That’s a nice thing about Amsterdam, buying them from a confidential source and not having to worry about doing something illegal, which would otherwise have the potential to make me insecure while tripping outside. So after I had used the advantage of being up so early to go for a run, meditate etc. (I recognized that I LOVE early mornings and that getting up early has potential to change your life!!). I biked to the city to get the truffles and ate them back home on empty stomach, after which I biked to the spot I wanted to start my trip at, right next to a big lake and surrounded by lush green nature. I’ve had a few Mushroom trips before this one, but this was the first one I took outdoors and at a higher dose than the ones before. My approach with psychedelics is to slowly build up on the doses, to get a feeling for the nuances of this work. And YES I, respectively my ego, is afraid of just taking higher doses more or less cold turkey, so I prefer taking a more methodological approach and working myself up. And it definitely proves to be the right way to go! During the come up, I am quite relaxed but monkey mind is at full force I have set the intention of being fully open to all the information I receive and trying to absorb as much as possible coupled with just wanting to enjoy this beautiful day and place, because these trips have shown to be like therapy for me. After about an hour I feel energy filling my body and streaming relentlessly. I mainly just observe the beautiful nature around me including a swan just appearing and disappearing in front of me and just doing its thing -MAJESTIC! The Mushroom just connects me more with nature, it’s like penetrating to deeper levels of existence, away from ego and back to the roots of humanity and existence. You get placed right into nature and away from the usual view that WE are here and NATURE is there outside of us. It’s kind of funny trying to articulate and explain this experience, because it’s utterly indescribable, as everyone with psychedelic experience knows! But here I am trying to do this anyway After staying at this spot for a while I eat the rest of the truffles and get going to explore the surrounding area. At this point, I am completely stunned by the beauty of this place and there is no ‘me’ to pinpoint , it is like existence is observing existence… Either way, the entity I call myself feels pure love and wonder seeing people chatting, meditating, reading, swimming etc. I see that being alive and experiencing all of this is the greatest gift there is, and we all received this gift but most of us do not accept/appreciate it… The peace and content I felt observing people, animals ,and plants was something I have never experienced before. For example, I crossed ways with a pit bull, who I probably would kind of avoid in a normal state but here I immediately felt that the dog is curious and wants to examine me but that he is not interested in petting or so, which was kind of a cool connection we had there, like communicating on a deeper level. Aftwerwards, I found myself a nice place under a big tree and just lay there, when I started to get one juicy nugget of wisdom (as Leo calls them ;)) after the other… WOW! I don’t remember many of them but they were just so accurate and you could really feel that they were true. It kind of felt like I already knew all these things and that they just came up from below the surface. At the same time though it did not feel as if ‘I’ thought these things, they just came to me, which must be something like a universal intelligence or something… but a deeply personal experience. I really felt that all my theoretical knowledge from Leo’s videos, the books I read etc. was melting together and I experienced these things to be true, which felt so good and made me deeply appreciate the quality of Leo’s work and was kind of a gift to me for my work in the past 2 years. Moreover, I lost every sense of time, 2 minutes could literally feel like an hour. I literally experienced the saying that: ‘No man steps into the same river twice, for the man is not the same man and the river is not the same river’ – nice stuff to actually experience one of your favorite quotes to be true. I also saw that existence has infinitely many different perspectives and facets, that it is twisted and counterintuitive, surely not only predictable and ‘dead’ stuff. I also got some insights into the problems I have with relationships, where I often doubt my love for my girlfriend, and I saw that I love her completely but that usually my needy self is at work and does not allow for true, genuine love. But love goes way deeper than just feelings, which is what I always get frustrated over because I do not feel as deeply as I want to/think to be ‘right’. At this point, I really regret not having brought along my notebook I usually have around at trips, because this one was by far the deepest and I had to let go a lot of potentially transformative insights. But I know that they can still be found somewhere deeper in myself. After all of this, I walked back with a big grin on my face, just kind of laughing at myself and the irony of existence. I felt like a young boy trying to find the meaning of life and what it entails haha. But also saw the potential for delusion, asking questions like what is true? Are not all words and thus thoughts ‘false’ since they are only symbols? So I got a bit uneasy and nervous for a few seconds because I feared that I may never see the Truth. But I then got the insight that all these thoughts and nuggets of wisdom are still basically only distractions or side effects from just being, witnessing. I think that it is important to not paralyze in front of these HUGE questions but to just stay curious and open. After this, I was riding my rusty bike home, completely and utterly drained of energy, both emotionally, spiritually and physically but happy as rarely before! I felt connected to this life on a much deeper level and felt like I solved some of the uncountable mysteries of this life. Main Takeaways/lessons from this trip: - I see how focussing on one specific question or facet of existence with psychedelics can be so powerful, it seems like one has infinite creativity and intelligence -> have to start doing serious self-inquiry - I got more existential questions than answers but this is a good starting point for deeper investigation -> what is all of this REALLY? - seeing that raising consciousness is the most important thing there is to do! That basically everything else can be considered a distraction. I want to take it all to the end, solving the mystery of existence - the psychedelic will always give you an experience that matches your current level of awareness -> I went surprisingly deep with these truffles In case someone read this until the very end, thank you! Leave me any remarks you may have. Either way this is a helpful report to come back on my own journey. Still left out A LOT but it is just not possible to conceive the whole experience in words. After doing some more consciousness work and theory, I want to explore LSD and higher doses of mushrooms. Have a nice day, Fränk
  22. Has anyone tried to combine this with psychedelics?