a e l i

thank you, I'm looking into it!

If we define high-quality content as content that has the potential to elevate you and to help you pursue your ultimate life purpose (i.e. a meaningful classic book?), and low-quality content as content that can keep you stuck in the status quo and unaware of your condition (i.e. instagram feed?), what's the best course of action? Should we avoid low-quality content at all costs or can there be some space left for it, maybe to unwind? Is it even fair to make such a distinction between the two? If so, what criteria should we use in order to judge what kind of content can be the most beneficial for us?

I was lucky enough to experience it and I'd like to talk to someone who knows what it feels like. You can also ask me questions if you never experienced it and you'd like to know anything, and I'd be interested to know your opinion on this topic. It's the most life-changing experience in my life and I know that I'll never find anything like this out of an interpersonal relationship. You might believe I'm mad for thinking like this, you might believe that I'm delusional. I myself can't wrap my mind around the entirety of this thing that I'm feeling, because this is something that defies all rationality and common sense. This is so, so rare that I've never seen a situation like mine unfold between two people. Love is so profound it can flip your world upside down completely. It goes past insecurities and trauma and shortcomings, it surpasses every other interpersonal connection. It's an experience that changes absolutely everything. It's something that gives you a sense of direction no matter what, even when the other person isn't there, it will always be with you and guide you through the rest of your life. I never believed in the concept of soulmates. Having more than one person who's compatible to you makes so much sense given the amount of people out there. But now I get it. It's not that the possibilities aren't out there, it's just that when you find a connection this deep it will change your entire existence in such a way that you'll always be bound to that person, even when the other person isn't there, like in my case, and every other possible connection will never compare to that one because everything else lacks this awakening component that makes true love so beautiful and unique. Most people never find it. They don't know it, they have no idea, and they settle for a regular relationship, perhaps because it makes them feel good, they have similar values and want to spend their life together, but in comparison to true love all of this is so selfish. I know that if I ever get into a relationship again it will be because I've become willing to compromise as well, and not because I've found a connection that can compete with the one I have with my soulmate, which is absolute and will guide me through the rest of my life. I can only hope that you have a chance to experience it in your lifetime. It's beautiful.

1. I am. 2. We met online, have only had conversations on the phone, and it only lasted a week. Yeah I know that it sounds crazy for me to be saying all of this about something that was this short, but it's the most amazing connection I've ever had with a human. We learned so much through eachother, it's like we sped up our personal growth by a thousand times just by spending time together and supporting eachother. It didn't last because I hurt him and we realized that we needed some space to let ourselves grow more and overcome issues that would have tainted the relationship otherwise. It's really tough, I miss him so much. I don't know if we'll ever meet again. I hope so, but I know that I have to let him go fully and to not be attached to him before trying to find him again. If I'll want to find him in the future, who knows. Regardless of what things will look like, he taught me what unconditional love is. Even if there was attachment involved on my end, I managed to experience what a wonderful thing it is to completely accept someone and to just want the best for them, even if the best thing is to let them go. This experience was so powerful for me that now I'm going to do my best to find love in everything I do for the rest of my life.

I haven't properly gone out unless it's strictly necessary in more than a month (firstly because I was feeling depressed but afterwards because of the epidemic). My city is not in quarantine yet but I think it's a matter of time, as areas nearby are. Since I live with my grandma I cannot afford to get exposed. I feel like I'm so distant from real human interactions. But I've got to admit that it's not a new problem: I've been dealing with internet addiction for quite some time, except now it's on steroids because I've got nothing else to distract me. What can I do to make the best out of the situation? I want to become a better person. I started a meditation habit, sorta, because it's the one thing I can do for sure. But I don't feel like it's enough. Heck, I'd like to start dating! But I wonder, what are the chances of meeting quality people on dating apps? Also it feels a bit like cheating because of how shitty my IRL people skills are, and because it could be fuel for my internet addiction. But I digress. How do I deal with this need for human interaction during times like these? Anyone else having struggles because of the outbreak?

It all started with biting my nails in middle school. I did that for two or three years and after that I was okay for a couple of years. Now I'm grinding teeth and I just recently started to pull my hair. I can already see the damage I'm doing. I want this to stop. I already ruined my nails a lot and I don't want to damage my teeth and hair as well. I can't wear a mouth splint to reduce the damage because I already have braces (but I think that wouldn't solve the problem anyway, just like bitter nail polish didn't help me with my nails) I sometimes meditate and I'm working to become more aware of my emotions but I'm not sure about what to do with this issue. Any advice on how to deal with this? Did any of you have this kind of behaviour?

I'd like to understand better human sexuality, so I have a few questions about this topic. Why do people have various fetishes and kinks? How much is porn to blame? And how is it possible for someone to understand where their fetish came from? Also, what do you think? Are fetishes healthy, unhealthy or it's not so black and white? Could enlightened people also have them? Is it better to get rid of them?

Thanks for replying. Ok, I'm gonna build a meditation habit. Before I was never really motivated to start and never stuck to it... But now I feel that it's something I can't keep avoiding, so I'm going to try again and hopefully stick to it!

I'm starting to become more aware of my addiction to thoughts, which lately has gotten worse. I can't even stick to a topic when I think, my head's just all over the place bouncing from topic to topic. It's like I'm trying to multitask with my inner voice, and as a result I shallowly touch lots of topics without deeply analyzing any of them. I'm easily distractible, unproductive and sick of this. This has always been such an unconscious thing I have no idea how I got at where I'm now, and I don't know how to change something that seems so automatic.

@Michael569, @Sevi thank you very much! Looks like a great course

I'm thinking of buying myself the course as a birthday present, once I turn 18 and get my own bank account. I don't have a source of income, my parents would never buy me something like this, and 250 usd is literally all the savings I have. It's a really big investment for me, so I'd like to know some things in advance from people who did the course. Are the videos streaming-only, or can they be downloaded too? It'd be a turn on if download were possible, since I have plenty of time without an Internet connection. How deep does it get? I find that Leo's most recent videos are much more profound and less and less aimed at newbies. But from what I understand, the course is kinda old. So, who is it aimed at? Is it best suited for people who'd watch his "How to get rich" videos or for a Paradigms/System thinking audience? Or both? Or neither? Anything negative to say about the course? I can only find positive reviews, which I guess is cool, but reading diverse opinions would be even cooler. Did you actually find your life purpose?

Please don't be mean I've had prejudices about other races/cultures for quite a long time. Lately I've been realizing how it's weighing down me, I'm constantly ruining my mood like this. I live in Europe, and as you know, refugees are constantly coming in. It's already a sad situation, but racism just makes it a lot worse: my town lately has been getting filled with these people, I see them everywhere and I feel... disgusted, honestly, and I'm also afraid. And I hate it, these negative emotions are ruining me. Rationally, I understand that not all people of a certain group are the same... And I acknowledge that an open-minded person doesn't assume things about someone before getting to know them well. I also have proved this to myself, since I do know some black people who I consider to be good. But yeah, feelings are not rational. Do you have any advice on how to deal with this? I can't find anything unbiased on the Internet, and I can't talk about it with the people I know since they're either going to hate me or support my racism. I just want to walk down the street without all these negative thoughts, it's a pain in the ass.

Thank you all for replying! My best friend is in the same situation as me, perhaps less aware, and she's the person who influences me the most. I'm gonna talk about it with her, it'll be easier to change if she becomes aware of it as well. I'm also going to continue observing myself, my thoughts and my feelings, as you suggested. Volunteering for refugees might be a bit difficult, since for now I really don't feel like doing it and my parents wouldn't allow me to, but I'm gonna look for people from these countries among my friends' acquaintances and online.

In June I'm going on a vacation with my family for 10 days. No school, no work, no Internet. Just nature, the seaside and our tent. I want it to be a healthy experience. Any suggestions? I'm planning on meditating, working out and thinking about stuff, but should I do anything else? Would it be better to bring some books to read/things for advancing in my life purpose, or should I completely disintoxicate from my regular lifestyle, sort of becoming a monk for 10 days? What would you do on a holiday like this?

In my opinion there should be time to just sit and be, contemplating existence. Always being in a rush won't bring you peace, even though you may be excited about your work or your hobbies. Most people are addicted to activities, and for them just sitting and doing literally nothing for a couple of hours is really difficult. If you can't be peaceful doing that you are not happy. Saying that you'd be lazy for doing nothing is just an excuse.

Since my grandma was a microbiologist that worked for Moscow's aqueduct back in the Soviet Union days, my family has always thought tap water was the best. While it certainly is more eco-friendly than bottled water because of the lack of plastic, I'm starting to doubt the health benefits of tap water. After all, my grandma's knowledge may be outdated. Also, I'm always told about how dangerous chlorine and other chemicals are and I'm not sure if chemicals in tap water are unhealthy or not, since that may just be some kind of advertising/propaganda (here in Italy the vast majority drink bottled water). Honestly, I wish tap water was healthier because of the environment, but wishful thinking won't lead me anywhere good. Anyway, I really have no idea what to believe! So, where do you guys get your water? Why? If you drink tap water what do you have to say about the chemicals added to disinfect it?

Thanks everyone for replying @Kelley White I think I pull my hair when I'm not doing anything special... I noticed that when I'm concerned with strong emotions I don't do that. But I'm not sure it's the same with teeth grinding, I feel especially tense when I do it. Sometimes I notice the urge to pull/grind but other times I'm not aware of it and if I start I stop only when it "naturally" ends. Teeth grinding is more difficult to avoid. And I guess I'm self soothing. I'm trying to keep a journal for when I pull/grind and I'll try to find something healthy to replace it and see how it works out.

Dreams are part of ourselves, so there must be something up with them. What do you think they are? Was Freud right? Do you try to give your dreams meaning and how do you do that?

My mom's voice makes me unbelievably upset. I get really frustrated, it upsets me especially when she sings or yells (which is quite often). Also, the bedrooms and the kitchen in our house have curtains instead of actual doors, so I have to hear her all day talking with my dad, and it's driving me crazy. The worst is when she interrupts the quiet by yelling or comes in my room talking about her stuff. Or when it's late and I'm trying to sleep while she's shouting in the other room. It's not just my own problem, my friends also told me she talks way too much: she can't keep anything for herself, she has to talk and talk about every little thing that's on her mind. And her voice is loud. It's so bad I sometimes find myself crying because of this. I can't understand why I'm feeling this way and I'm really confused on the matter. Also, I have no idea on what to do or where to begin. The best thing seems to learn how to handle these feelings, since it's my responsability to manage my emotions, though I think she's kind of problematic as well. Any advice? I'm desperate ok thank you

I'm an INTP and I'm not sure about my mom, but I think she's an ESTP. I agree, this is certainly part of the problem. I don't feel the need to talk unless it's necessary, but my mom just can't not talk: she has to give her opinion on everything and has a loud voice that she doesn't seem to be able to control. My dad (INFJ) can listen to her chatting for hours and I have no idea on how he does that. But in my opinion it's not just about MBTI.

I want to explore and analize space and perception using art. I want to become an artist so great to be in art history books, leaving a path of growth for future artists. Fame is not what I'm looking for, though. A side goal would be to financially sustain myself with art.

I prefer to avoid TV and popular newspapers, they're full of negativity and contain unreliable information. Though I feel like knowing more about the world is important. Do you inform yourself about what happens in the world? If no, why? If yes, what news sites or sources do you think are reliable?

I mostly hang out with three people: My best friend, who I see in school the most A problematic childhood friend with no other friends, addicted to anime, antisocial and a bit depressed A friend of a friend of mine: after the two had a huge argument they split up and I ended up staying on the side of the one who initally wasn't my friend. She's alone as well, her social life consisting mainly of hanging out with me and chatting with her facebook friends. She herself is not really addicted to anime, but her facebook friends are and she's trapped in that environment. I want to be a positive and determined person, but I feel like my two friends are toxic and drowning me. I don't like anime anymore and I want to focus on serious stuff, but just staying with them makes it more difficult. I already try to not hang with them a lot, but since I'm their only real friend I'd feel bad abandoning them, making them even more depressed and difficult to deal with. I don't know what to do: I'd leave them, but I also think they don't deserve to be left alone, because their situation might degenerate. Any advice? Thanks

Alright, I'll have to cut the connection... Thanks both for replying

Oh. I guess I'm understanding better now...