solr

@Elisabeth Thank you so much for your kind and wise words.

We would love to have you here in Scandinavia. You got quite a few followers here. If you travel overseas, I'm sure people are more than happy to pay you more.

Here's some of my work... not exactly wall decorations. "being an artist means forever healing your own wounds and at the same time endlessly exposing them. " if you want to see more i post my art on instagram (@solengbakken)

How do you heal from something bad you did? I'm not able to tell the person I did this to. My best friend know, I can talk to him about it - But I still have nightmares, anxiety and feel fragmented. How do you heal this part of yourself? Practical step by step methods is much appreciated. I'm a strong meditator, and I've kept this routine for 7 years. Yet I find it hard to balance observing what I did, and burying myself in it.

Thank you so much, I really needed to hear this. Had me in tears. Thank you so much.

You are not reading this right.

Thank you Leo, I'll go watch it right now.

@molosku@molosku @tsukiThank you so much for your thoughts. <3

I didn't really relate to this video at all, but I'll try and check out some of his other videos.

I just wondered if anyone here would like to share their thoughts on consuming meat (and other animal products) while on this journey. What do you eat and why? Have you made a change in your diet and did it make you feel any different? Personally, I've always consumed a lot of meat and dairy. A lot. I lift heavy weights at the gym, and I would eat 500 grams of meat every day. I've never felt guilty about it until recently. I don't really know what happened, but I was shopping for meat, and then it just hit me. This is body... parts. I can't really explain the feeling I got, but I don't want to touch it anymore, it makes me feel sick. Full on cold turkey from that moment. Then I went on to watch some documentaries, and I actually doubt there's a way back for me now. I don't know, but after changing my diet I actually feel more connected to the world. I feel happier. More content. More awake. I don't know why. I never, ever thought I would write these words. I actually used to have a lot of strong judgements towards vegans and vegetarians for some reason. There's probably a thread on this topic somewhere, but I'm having trouble searching on my phone. I hope this is ok

But leeeeeeo, what about lucid dreaming?

I was pretty amazed with how little of a problem getting enough protein was when i changed my eating habits. B12 is naturally found in the earth (dirt) i think, so the reason we don't get it through a plant based diet anymore is because everything is sanitized. So I think you have to supplement with B12. I may be wrong here, I'm not quite sure, I still have a lot of learning to do. But there's no doubt I feel much better without all of that heavy food in my body. (And knowing I don't contribute to that ghastly industry and all of the suffering in those factories of course.)

1 week today with vegan food only. I feel like i dipped my toes in nirvana. not joking. never going back.

Thank you. I'll put it on my booklist right after "Radical Honesty".

During 2017 I became very conscious of my devilry. I've become aware of how manipulative I am. Of my lying. Of my deception of others. I want to become a more loving and kind human being. I want to stop making egotistical choices. I've been a strong meditator for seven years, and I've done a couple of retreats. I feel like this has helped me to see the truth of how evil I actually am. I thought awareness of this would change my behavior - but I still make bad decisions even if I'm mindful of what I'm doing. In that very moment, fulfillment of my egotistical needs seems to be more important to me than selflessness. I try and not resent myself for this, to just work on my mindfulness and don't judge my actions as "bad" or evil - But the truth is, I want to work past this to reach my full potential of self-actualization. I'm kind of stuck when it comes to what I should do to change my behavior. What I should do to become less of an evil devil. I don't believe in free will, I don't think forcing myself to be a good, little girl is an option. Does anyone here on the forum have any experiences or suggestions regarding this? It's not like I'm a murderer or anything, or that I'm mean to people. My family, friends and ex boyfriends would probably describe me as selfless, loving and kind - But then again, that's just because I'm so good at decieving and lying. I know I'm not alone. I know 99% of people do the same thing, more or less. I feel like being aware of it and still doing it makes me worse than someone who is totally unconscious though.

<3

Thank you for your kindness. This resonated with me. I'm not in a stable place economically (i'm a student), and I think a lot of my devilry stems from fear and the need for security. I'll continue my meditation and contemplation work, as well as my school work. I realize I need to arrive at a place where I don't struggle every day to make ends meet.

I think you're right in just continious consciousness work. Maybe I need to step ut my meditation. I most definitely will not use psychedelics, though. I have schizophrenia in my family, and I've had crippling, deep issues with panic attacks and anxiety which I've managed to heal through hard work. It's too big of a risk for me which I'm very afraid to take.

I advice you to begin looking at women ("Bitches" :p) in a different way. Read some books on the opposite sex and building relationships. Get out in the field and talk to women without "finding the one" on your mind. It happens when it happens. Women and men are different. As a woman (bitch?) I can tell you don't hold much knowledge about female psychology. What you're writing is based on your judgements of an extremely small percentage of women on planet earth. With metta.

That totally depends on your goal. Gaining bodyfat and muscle? Losing bodyfat? Gaining muscle and losing bodyfat? Maintenance? Injury prevention? Flexibility? Higher energy levels? Different approaches for different goals. I've worked as a fitness coach, feel free to ask questions.

The most important aspect was getting professional treatment very early. I think completely healing from anxiety gets harder when the behavioral pattern marinates over time. It's not impossible though. I completely agree with @pluto - One has to completely surrender to it. Observe it and learn through experience that there's nothing dangerous going on. It's a difficult task, but it's not impossible. My psychiatrist made me do this exercise where I were to list all of my sensations, thoughts and feelings in the middle of a panic attack. Not to judge or create aversions, but simply to observe. Be curious. Be a detective so to speak. It helped to some degree.

In 2015 I got serious panic attacks for the first time in my life because I was a workaholic and suffered a burnout. During my first panic attack I was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance. I had 190bpm, irregular heartbeat, nausea and pain in my left arm. I had to stay at the heart department in the hospital until they figured out it was "just anxiety". I had terrible panic attacks for weeks after this episode. I remember having a looped panic attack for five hours, I would vomit and faint. I developed anticipation anxiety. I was afraid of everything, because I feared it would trigger panic attacks. I was afraid of eating, going outside of my room and I was extremely scared of sleeping/falling asleep. Falling asleep felt like dying. I was so scared and anxious that I had to be locked up at a psych ward. Lost my job, pretty much everything. Professional psychiatric help was my solution. I got a really good therapist who helped me through all of it in 3 months. I also took some meds for my sleep during this period (25mg seroquel). Today I'm completely fine and not on any form of meds whatsoever. I'll experience anxiety to some degree if I don't look after my sleep schedual, but I don't really have any trouble handling anxiety anymore. I just had to learn through experience that you don't have to fear the fear. Just observe it with curiosity, and it will pass. It was my resistance to the fear and anxiety which made it worse.

Yes. 1 hour of strong determination every day.

@Max_V Yes. I guess there's dairy free protein powder available for purchase though, if you feel like avoiding it.

Oslo, Norway. Hit me up if you live nearby