star ark

oh yeah and i took it about 10 times solo, trying to find something in it always spinning to the left, sometimes hearing these "la la la" pixie voices in my mind, and usually the room I was in was replaced with black. at best I came to the conclusion maybe myths of pixie creatures came from salvia and that is a rubbish "epiphany" but I do understand a rare kind of person may get more from it

According to your levels I was always hit at level 4 or 5 but never enjoyed a single second. I never felt like I brought back anything worthwhile either. I can't speak for my friends' deepest thoughts on their experiences I could just remember the looks on everyone's faces. I started to warn people before taking it not to hate me if they didn't like it, every single person seemed to hit about level 4 or level 5, a few acted like they liked it, we did not believe them, so we all tried to offer them more but they really did not want anymore. We offered to give them our left over salvia which they intentionally left behind. We all hated it and most people don't even want to talk about it, like we all shared a horrible experience.

I have done it, maybe 10 times maybe 10 more people did it nobody liked it you are the first person I have ever encountered that had a single good thing to say about it I tell no lie, I understand people that like it can be out there but I believe you are a very rare type of person if you like salvia

Your story is almost mine TC! Read the same book, did a slightly less extreme dietary change and don't experience hours of ego free bliss like you did walking the dog but every day I get a few moments of pure "now", and those moments are growing in size and frequency. Intermittent fasting brings on other challengers but I find it and low carbs lots of nuts brings out even more connection with the now, but it can be hard to schedule. Modern food is poison, most people need to do a detox to develop the sensitivity to feel it for themselves. It's akin to everyone being a heroin addict so they cannot feel how a less damaging and poweful drug is bad for them. That same person sober for a decade would feel a sugar free black coffee with a half tea spoon of sugar, no way a heroin addict can feel the damaging effects of half a tea spoon of sugar but it's definitely there.

Salvia sucks It makes you delirious and feels like everything is spinning to the left I have seen it described as a dog trapped into chasing its own tail and I agree. I bought about 20 doses, hated it and let any friend give it a go - some people went back for seconds but nobody wanted thirds ! LOL

if it's your first time you don't know how you will react and are all alone in a forest........ edit: Ok you have sitters, are they really sitters or dosing up too? Either way other people will help out, you will have that knowledge in your mind from the outset and most likely always remember where you are and why you are there because of their attendance. You may lose all sense of self but I suspect you will always be grounded in enough reality because they are there when the trip begins.

I never got a decent girlfriend at a bar or a shallow thing like tinder, they were all work colleagues, people from the high school and university social groups etc. Now I'm in my 30s and I meet women everywhere and it doesn't matter if you screw up flirting then, it's basically a compliment if you try and get shot down. Also many women are nothing like the image tv and society tells you. Many women will hate it if you try and do the generic dating stuff, they will think you probably are a regular man who farts all day, yells at the tv because your team is losing, you're friends will all be loud obnoxious drunks etc. If that's how you come at them that's how they view you.

I can relate but I suspect you are thinking about the feeling after the fact. If you were in the now but surrounded by loved ones and impressive artworks, musical instruments, delicious healthy foods and drinks you would realize those things are amazing. You don't need to keep living, I'll still be here if you end it, but why not have things and enjoy them? If you could be in the now with your family and friends celebrating with food and song and art and gift giving you would feel indescribable joy. In the now you would love it if it truly is good, it would require no thinking.

This doctor is very simple to follow and suffered from adrenal fatigue and mercury poisoning in his late 20's This guy takes it way further and explains all the science but he also obsesses over ketosis so if you don't do ketosis you need to ignore some things he is talking about.

I don't know what life you are putting on hold? Personal development is a very vague term, saying you personally develop all day could mean anything, saying you can't focus when your brain and body are in complete turmoil? well perhaps your PD is helping but because you're withdrawing so bad you don't realize it? I may have spoken too soon but I was imagining the girlfriend or wife leaving, the boss getting ready to fire you or the university getting ready to kick you out. I thought i was offering practical "don't lose everything and end up homeless" advice, I don't have specific amps withdrawal advice regarding 17 years of use other than 17 years is about 6200 days, habits form in a couple of months, you probably don't remember being 5 so how you felt for virtually your entire life has been taken from you. 6200 days of taking medical amps along with other things meds, personally i think you're probably doing better than most people who try and taper after as long as you. But that's just a guess of course. Look to any small improvement and know that it improved because of the time and effort you put into it. I'm sorry but lots of people take adderall, if the solution was out there you would have found it somewhere else on the internet.

Love thyself You will give out some negative vibes if you don't love yourself, and you may only attract partners who are in your exact situation, and then you and your "lover" actually don't love anything.

Language has become a status symbol although I haven't seen anyone do it on this forum. I notice many people use the "smart guy lexicon" and screw it up constantly. Things like "cognitive dissonance" for differing of opinions, "logical fallacy" for differing opinions, everyone uses "exponential" to mean gets sort of bigger sometimes and saying "literally" before everyone of these incorrectly used words. Aren't Indian surnames traditionally so long to impart prestige to the person? And eventually it got to the point of modern day and everyone's names are so damn long everyone has to abbreviate? Or it goes the opposite, someone like me wants to see only people who I deem smart enough to use the smart guy words. People tell me I am pessimistic but I suspect almost everyone at every second of every day are aware they are on display and their egos want to use everything within their means to put on a good show: the way you walk, the way you talk, and the words you use. Call a kid dude these days and it may embarrass them. Talk too smart around the friends that don't want to be seen talking smart and they go the opposite way and start talking about boxing and cars and porn stars. I see kids calling each other bro, bra, brah, bruv and I want to punch my computer screen! I have a friend who calls everyone Mang I don't even remember a time in history where people called each other Mang. WTF is mang? Then I realize I have a long way to go, I seriously get pissed off that teenagers have decided my word dude sucks, therefor Otto from the Simpsons sucks and my 70 year parents use the word dude. That ain't right, I use the cool kid words, not the old lady words. I didn't check how I typed this response and it is all over the place. It implies something about me, anyone reading this will have some opinion of my personality type, judgement is another pessimistic word but that's what it is. How the words are put together and presented can say more than the words themselves

Has it gotten better over the last month at all? Has your halved doze ever improved in effectiveness or are you simply going nowhere? Put personal development on hold until you resolve this very serious problem. Yourself will still be here afterwards to develop, and isn't getting off drugs an even bigger personal development than cold showers and going "OM"?

I only ever consider it when I come here or read youtube comments, at work or with friends I don't talk about this stuff.

Food sensitivities were messing me up but I didn't realize this was the case. I tried dietary, meditative, sleep and exercise changes and now I am seeing amazing results. I don't even know what changes did what as I made so many changes overnight, but mindfulness and diet are probably my most effective changes. Mindfulness beats meditation for me.

I found his explanation of sudden awakening a bit too vague. I like all his ego stuff, his pain body stuff and a bit about how ducks fight in a pond.

Multi vitamin with some form of adaptogenic herb. I don't need ginseng at 5pm so I have a second ginseng free multi vitamin if i take it late in the day. Omega 3 I did take probiotic supplements for 2 months along with pre and probiotic food and I can tell you that if your gut is screwed you'll never even receive most of those vitamins. Kimchi and miso every day for probiotic since stopping the supplement Resistant starch and apple cider vinegar for more gut/digestion improvements Also i make leo's super soup, i sometimes go 3 days straight just on soup, nuts and green tea. you get more than the required nutrients that way and extra sharp senses. Watch the color of your urine, it will show you where vitamins are going, things may change slowly but one day you may just have gloriously healthy pee! Basically i think the gut needs to be right before the vitamins are going to be received by the body. No ibuproven or certain other drugs that kill your gut bacteria. It's not like caffeine, you will need a month or so of constant probiotics to get the results and then you will need to maintain it as well.

You can never be absolutely certain about anything, even your certainty itself.

so many antioxidants in coffee it's good for appetite suppression if you are fasting, it's great to have a secret weapon that isn't speed to get work done but it's addictive too i never find it hard to drop back to one coffee in the morning so i suggest drop down to 1, keep it there for a while and then wait for a 2 week break from school or job or uni and cut it out completely. maybe you discover you made the right choice or maybe you discover less is more. you will learn restraint as you get older, everybody does, otherwise everyone would turn into an alcoholic drugged up old codger sipping 1000 cups of coffee a day, eating a 100000 cheeseburgers a day and jerking off 24/7.

After my first meditation session I learned mindfulness myself, then I read about it on the internet and I couldn't believe it was something that had to be taught. Like, it is impossible for me not to meditate/practice mindfulness, I find myself just doing it standing in line to buy something, I wake up breathing deeply and can maintain a meditative state upon waking and it is virtually instinct or reflex. If sitting down isn't doing it for you are you taking the mindful approach to life? I don't believe you would seriously consider dropping the habit if you were experiencing full benefits from the practice. It feels like someone saying "I can't be bothered drinking, i was dying of thirst years ago but I've drunk all this water since, it was great for a while but it's too much of a time sink, i need those water drinking minutes back so i can ask questions on actualized.org about whether I should drink water or not"

the lens is the body brain damaged lens, different reality. the lens in the receiver and the I is channeled by the lens body is the temple not the god

I always play mind games to trick my ego when I am feeling particularly sensible. I would do exactly what you suggest but instead of just doing 40 less minutes of meditating and 40 more minutes of LP, do an extra full hour or LP. See how your ego likes that one

why are we desperate? i'm a turtle, slowly and steadily winning this race every single day i am a little bit better because of my "addiction" some days i have an epiphany and experience immense growth your ego is an addiction, it is simply something you feed each day every single activity could be argued as falling on a spectrum of addiction, apparently the entire planet is on the autistic spectrum now absolutes do exist (we do have brains!) an addiction to poison is worse than an addiction to breathing slightly deeper

Well then i don't believe you've had one truly successful meditation experience focusing on this particular issue. Sorry I'm not trying to be mean I can only speak from experience but when I focused on the negative thought loops in my mind and experienced the "observer" state and felt no emotions connected to those negative thought patterns I was absolutely 100% certain my pain was gone. It didn't require upkeep, it was a new awakening and I take it with me everywhere I go.

A chimp desperately wants something but has no idea where to begin looking. Us chumps having the luxury of innate curious minds and we know where to start looking. Chimps want what us chumps have, life meaning, or passions outside of earning money and trying to look sexy. Many chumps want what the chimps have but most chimps are pretending their life is closer to hollywood than reality. Chimps regularly turn into chumps as they get older, they lose sex appeal - having children creates a new paradigm of "A good husband/wife is for life while before a good young man/women has many sexual partners and shows them off". The chimp sheds the ego when they lose they sex appeal and sex drive, realize they cannot threaten a partner to leave unless they want to destroy their children's family life, watch their children grow and finally see all their genetics and behavior at work when the kid starts to emulate them, develop a knew self image as mother or father. Personally I think some of us chumps need to act a little more chimp like on friday nights and just go indulge in some egotastic fucking.