Leo-Tzu

@Princess Arabia @Schizophonia both of your answers are legit the problem is that the balding stage isn't that bad to shave and also i dont want to put rosmary oils castor oils tinkerbell oils etc because mentally it will keep me alert and mindful about it. Now im going with a short haircut which works fine for me visually but inner game wise i want to not even think of it. That would be ideal. I ve watched some videos of girls answearing if they did mind if their date was balding or bald and their answear was most of the times they didn't care as long as men didn't too. So it all comes to being stoic and adapting to your reality without worry and focusing on what you can work on.

Today i had a haircut and noticed half of my front hair were missing and even in the crown area they were starting to thin heavily. For context im 34, my dad and also the males on my mother side are bald so genetically im screwed, the question was always "when". When this thing started at 26-27 maybe i got a lot of anxiety but later it became less and less important, until today. Now its really gone so i have to cope with it. Also i dont wanna do treatments, dont wanna spray, drop, foam or any other shit to fight for a dead cause max i can do is a hair transplant dont know but even that seem pathetic and not really manly. The reason i'm writing in the mental health section is how do i cope with it, how do i not get disturbed by it. This becomes problematic mostly when i meet new people, or in work related enviroments where i want to be "the best version of myself" which in my mind is me at 25 witch a head full of hair and muscles. That self hasnt died yet and anything below that (the real me now) is a scary cat which just want to leave the room as quick as he can. Not to mention when taking pictures now im aware of things i didnt thought of before like if i got strong lights above my head and so on. How do I enjoy life when aging is so noticeble? People like Leo which i remember being bald since 2014 have no problem at all as it seems and i want to know their path. For me i believe it will be something like one day ill just shave my head and ill say ok this doesnt look so bad and from that moment ill just keep doing it. Until then ill be in a limbo between the 25 old me and the 35+ me, feeling insecure and trying to hide it with caps shadows etc.

I had this feeling for some time and while i was reading Meditations i thought hell life was harsh back than yet still willpower-wise now is worse as can be. If you are some extrovert dude with tons of friends and family i bet you have no time to lose around tech but if you re the average westerner with just tech as your only friend and enemy youre getting screwed. In roman times nothing stood between you and your task, well maybe a bit of lazyness or overthinking which are still found on mass today yet life worked in a survival way you had to accomplish a lot just to stay alive even if youre the emperor of the biggest (debateble) empire ever seen. Lets compare an average lets say tax collector of that time with an irs guy today which can be almost the same field of expertise. A roman tax collector had to wake up at sunrise, feed the animals, eat, dress up, go to work, come back to his family and maybe at night have some partying in the square with candle lights. I bet his family had like 10 people and he had a lot of firends too. He also enjoyed hiking, fishing and hunting. An irs guy in usa or his counterpart in europe has to wake up tired by his alarm of his phone which is near him all night and he checks it every hour during his imnsonia. Goes to work or works from home. If the first one has to do the whole cavalcade shower, traffic, prepare food etc. If he works from home even worse. Probably at 32-35 no porperty on his name, he lives on rent. No family. He has not seen his friends in 1 month. He uses a lot of phone/pc/tv to keep himself busy. At night maybe plays some games too. If he gets hungry he orders uber eats. If horny porn or prostitution. He has no animal to feed. No land to work and so on he has to put in his "to do list" things like walking in the morning sun and going to the gym. My point is we are now paying dividents for the tech solutions we liked so much in the beggining but now are enslaving us. People have less and less willpower to counter this offensive. The human brain can deal with some lazyness in the morning but you had other mechanisms that pushed you like maybe if you didnt farm or catched a fish you died that day. No way this brain that works on these terms and with the comodity of eating food prepared from 1000 recipes around the world and brought to our door by a pakistani unlucky immigrant for the mere cost of 13$ and with the dopamine it recieves can counter the "doomscrolling" he will do on tiktok or insta or youtube for the next 1 hour. Also these apps are engineered by experts in psychology to keep us as much as possible engaged in them. Also they are becoming less and less intersting and more and more addictive. I remember 10 years ago facebook was interesting because it was something new. Instagram was interesting because it was new, there was no frame how to use it. People posted random shit and it was best as ever. It didnt need an explore with reels that keep you doomscrolling to keep you engaged. Other disgusting mindkilling apps can be All meta products ofc, Tiktok and all these apps that use the slot machine mechanism for you to scroll All the dating apps who are a scam Streaming apps who all require subscriptions but you get like 1% value out of it Linked in and shit like that who are an offense to the common sense and human nature itself Videogames (except aaa) who are becoming season pass vendors I dont enjoy the internet as much as i did and still i cant stop using it and i never used it as much as now. The game is rigged so tight that work, marketing, selling, meetings, gaming are becoming an online thing more and more. You sure can go out the grid for sometime (like i tried to many times) yet you still come back by the fear of missing out, job related reasons or even you cant miss on those black friday sales on amazon. Corporations arent evil in per se they just want to make money without contribution in humanity. They mask it behind capitalism and competition yet still no one contributes a meaningful amount. Human nature needs sun, needs sea, needs friends, needs family, needs games, needs dancing and singing together, needs celebrating and mourning together. I feel like the internet world and internet culture is working actively to divide us and keep us alone in a crowd of a city where we can be easily manipulated by their ads. So when i read the meditations of marcus aurelius i find paradoxically even harder now achieving what he meant because we re not fighting only the lazy part of us but the whole new system we created to make our life a bit easier in the beggining. Places like these forum are an osasis on a desert of value and humanity. The internet is getting worse no doubt.

@Holymoly Thanks, trying to stay optimistic as much as i can

Of course isnt wrong but the past is the past if you put it to context you live a better life now ALONE than medieval kings with their 300 people staff. I mean you have (or hope you have) dishwasher, washing machine, ac, ovens, fridge, vacuum cleaner and whatever you might want, you can order food if you dont like to cook. You can order ubers and taxis if you dont wanna drive or even you can order sex by prostitution. The world we live in today has tons of supply of materials or services which didnt even exist in the past and had to be shared by family members. What you want is intimacy, a sense of connection and being at ease with someone or let me write this cliche thing "you need to share your completeness". Even today girls can get what they used to in the past by simply paying like plumbers, security staff, money by working or even manipulating weak men. They can even go to a sperm bank and have a child if they want. Thats why nowdays is so hard to marry or even keeping it alive. In the end i dont know how old are you, whwre you live, what is your profession and so on, things that really matter in the dating market, but with all these resources avaiable to you, you owe it to yourself to at least be with somone you love, at least in the beggining.

Exactly, What I mean by prepared tends more to a sense of readyness or surrender to the fact that while on taking a walk anything can happen, surrender to life itself. In my mind i was going from point A to B (home in this case) and they kinda catched me offguard in the moment i was feeling tired, thirsty and on the way to my safe place. So my emotions were contradicting themselves just like saying "here you have what you wanted, now go for it" and "but you met her in a horrible state, just came out from the beach with messy hair, burned out, dehydrated tired while theyre on dinner dresses, make up and so on, she will never go out with you" and the second won. Of course i withdrew because a lack of experience being prepared enough to catch a flying opportunity, a lack of energy or even the overwhelming fact i had what i wanted right in front of my eyes and i wasn't feeling "perfect" for it. I know perfection in doing thing dont exist yet still that emotion sabotaged my outcome. I don't know if it would have lead to a relationship, date, ons, or even a nice coffee and just showing her off my fav part of the city which i really enjoy doing with tourists if chances arise but this not knowing and this regret is way worse than a potential refuse which i feared in that moment. Thats the main thing you guys need to remember from this. At least now i walk conscious that i could bump on the love of my life, a future friend, a job or business opportunity anytime and im not walking on self made rails.

Two days ago i was walking home while suddenly i saw two girls taking selfies near a graffiti art or something similar painted on a wall and i even changed a bit my path to notice them better since they were really pretty. While i got near them one of them said "hey can you take us some pictures" and i replied "with great pleasure". I took them like 10 11 and we had a bit of convo in the meantime. I asked them where they were from and they said Chile. (Btw i live in a small balkan country so were not really used to getting this many tourists). The soon she said chile i got a bit forzen since i always idolized and pedestalized latinas due to a various reasons, blabbering i asked some more question like where are they staying, are they enjoying the city and so on. I always talked with the girl that seemed more interested in talking since the other was meerly standing there. She said things like ye we re gonna stay for a bit, my friend here is traveling to another city tomorrow and im gonna be here for a month. A bit silence creeped in and i felt in a very not at ease cause im not used talkiing to people i dont know specially in english. A lack of practice, a bit of self doubt in the moment and the feeling of discomfort led me to say them just "ok goodbye,have fun girls" while everything inside me was screamin (you idiot ask for her number and offer her a tour of the city a coffee and so on). I noticed her being a bit dissapointed and she said well ok then good luck to you. I didnt even ask for her name. Now i reherse that moment for two days, what i should have said, how should i had to move and smile and a lot of shit like that while in reality i just froze and walked away, and to make things even worse i listend a bit them going away while her friend told her "nooo porque, chico bonito" or something, now i'd like to say they were at least interested to get a coffee with me and i didn't act. I decided to share this first cause it shook me emotionally like i felt very bad after what i realised what i just did (or didnt do in this case), second : everthing we do matters so even if we try talking to strangers for no reason, we do cold approach and they show 0 interest still its worth, its preparation, because when moments and opportunities like this will come (be sure they will come) we need to be prepared, at least not blabber. Nevertheless i feel gratitude for that episode, it really woke me up that i should develop myself and practice everything i learned throughout the years in these situations. If i could take back the time i would because the worst case scenario she would say no im busy etc and this rejection was not going to be as bad as the regret i feel right now.

i've been playing a lot of videogames in a weird position for about 3 months other than working from home in the same pc and i had some shoulder mild pain ( like 2/10 or less). After i let it build up for about some time it transferred to the neck and jaw (only right side or mouse side) and like 2 weeks ago i woke up with a bit of vertigo stiff neck and jaw and weak tinnitus ( it isnt even noticed mostly throughout the day) I was mostly concerned about the other symptoms cause they were more quality of life-like disturbing. I started doing some stretches and most of those went away, or is going, only tinnitus seems to be persistent. It shows up mostly when im about to sleep like (1/10 volume) and it changes pitch, frequency and volume based on my head position through the night. I toss and turn a lot tbh and its not uncommon to wake up just cause of that through the night and then get panicked and anxiety attacks, opening forums and so on. Im conscious its related to my neck and jaw applying pressure to the middle ear but still in the back of my mind (and especially after reading a lot of depressed posts on reddit) now is planted the belief it will never go away. Hopefully it does. Peace

We as humans are the only sentient beings as far as we collectively know, we parted ways with our true nature long ago when we started to build this society which looks to be perfect because of our gadgets but deepdown is not. We're nearly 8 billions now, 8 billions opening of the universe that are "thinking" they're not the universe. Thinking with our rational minds, and yet we manage to cause a lot of suffering, suffering to the environment, to other species, to ourself. Numerically speaking there's more suffering today in 1 year than 10000 years ago in 100 years. So a large part of the universe is suffering with us . . . Poor people suffer, sick people suffer, rich people suffer, healthy people suffer and the number of people who are chasing enlightenment is becoming greater each year. I think its more than ever. . . I dont know almost nothing about hinduism but i guess this time is called kali yuga and after this the manifested cease to exist and god awakens to sleep again... Ok time to pull out my hand and look at it for another 30 minutes... Bye

At this point i dont want it anymore. Leo's videos are there (as he said himself) to open up the perspective, and you and me and all the people who asked for it i bet know what his introduction might be. . . A short introduction of jung, what is the shadow, the role it plays in our consciousness, naming various techniques for integrating it and so on. I bet we're past that. I personally downloaded all jung's books and ill study it from there. If ill need help i guess ill have to go to a specialist therapist for undergoing hypnosis. But is always nice to hear it from leo anyways lol . . .

@moon777light he said he would in the upcoming videos lol . . .

@Shin i dont know man . . . After 2 months long ago i become very agressive especially when drinking . . .started to pick up fights randomly in bars . . . But that's probably just me

On my way to read'em all. Thanks guys

^ Mine is Psycho Cybernetics

@DoubleYou ohh ty