Dude, what the fuck??
Stop wasting your time talking to girls. What you need is to purchase some courses/products on dating advice for men. You are missing the basic theory of how to attract women. Spend a few months just reading and listening and taking notes on the correct theory. If you don't have the right theory you can't properly practice.
What you're currently doing will never work so don't even waste your time.

Dude, Toronto is one of the top cities in the world for game. So none of your BS excuses.
You can find tons of wings and you can also game solo. But solo is very hard to start with so look for wings. Fuck your values for now. You don't need these wings to be your spiritual gurus. Their only purpose right now is to get you laid. Later you can be more picky.
The dude from HonestSignalz YT channel is from Toronto. Watch him game.
You are not going to find enlightened wings. PUAs are all around stage Orange and they are obsessed with one thing: getting laid. Which is what you need right now.

Visualizing proper inner game, and then going out consistently, approaching, and analyzing all your sets at the end of the night to iron out every sticking point and learn every micro lesson.
It will take a year or more of constant game to start to dial in your inner game. You have to be ruthless about identifying and squashing every micro sticking point.
Also observe how you are sabotaging yourself.
Mostly it just sounds like you're not approaching enough nor sticking in set long enough. You gotta force yourself to do like 20 approach per night, and go out at least 3 nights a week for a year.
You are not going to cure approach anxiety via some magic bullet. The cure is approaching. Do 5000 approaches.

I have looked deeply into the incel community because their worldview fascinates me in a way. When I first got into reading about it, as a woman it was kind of irking to read all the posts about how women should be subject to rape or torture & how they are a sub-human species but once I started reading some of the more moderate viewpoints relating to their constant rejections & low self esteem, I actually started to empathize a bit with some of the incels. It made me wonder if some people really are damned because of their physical appearance when it comes to attracting a partner or if it's just a lack of effort to improve one's appearance. I know a lot of incels hold themselves back with their own victim mentality, negative self image, & radical views on women & society, but in the case where someone is (by Western societal standards) physically unappealing due to some facial flaw or bodily abnormality, what would be a good solution for this? Do you think it's the case that some people will just never be able to find a partner due to the flaws in their appearance or do you think that there always someone for everyone? Just want to broaden my perspective on this. 

Small talk
Game
Humor
Marketing
Deep sex
Visualization
Public speaking
Writing
Sales copy writing
Conscious communication

Is there a common thread that unites self-actualization, emotional mastery, physical health and spirituality? What is the basis of integrity? Which mechanisms underlie healthy emotion regulation? What is the opposite of being dependent or addicted? What is the goal of all therapy, all psychedelic drugs and all meditation? One answer to that is vitality and resilience.
 
At the most basic level, vitality is the ability to exert force, and resilience is the ability to withstand stress. To be vital is to be full of life, energy and strength, and to be resilient is to be able to tackle various challenges that life throws at you. They're two sides of the same coin, and you can refer to both as "internal regulatory capacity": the ability to control your internal and external environment. I will probably make multiple threads on this topic and how it relates to everything from cognition, emotions, neuropharmacology, addiction, therapy, psychedelics and meditation, but as an introduction, I will start with emotions.
 
Firstly, why are these concepts useful? In psychology, vitality and resilience are part of an overarching approach in psychology called "salutogenesis", which essentially tries to answer the question "what causes health?" This contrasts with the more common approach of "pathogenesis": "what causes illness?" This might initially seem like a weird distinction to make. "Isn't the mechanisms of health simply to eliminate the mechanisms of illness?" Here is the central point: the way you define a problem (epistemology) dictates the way you solve it (methodology).
 
This creates crucial differences between the two approaches: salutogenesis tends to be holistic and bottom-up (multiple, organic solutions), while pathogenesis tends to be reductionistic and top-down (singular solutions, symptomatic relief). Pathogenesis tries to assess and correct negative symptomatic deviations from the norm while salutogenesis tries to identify and facilitate the underlying principles and basic requirements for health. For those interested in self-help and optimizing one's life, especially those without chronic illnesses, salutogenesis is in many ways a project description.
 
Now, on to the main point: how does one maximize vitality and resilience with respect to emotions? The concepts of vitality and resilience are taken directly from the multi-disciplinary paradigm of "Attention Control and Cognitive Emotion Regulation", and therefore I'll simply give a presentation of that here:
 
 
Attention Control and Cognitive Emotion Regulation

This paradigm unites aspects of developmental psychology, clinical practice and neuroscience research on emotions and cognition. It's primarily used in clinical work with children, but it's nevertheless a crucial framework for understanding basic emotional and cognitive functioning.
 
In this paradigm, emotions are understood from a functionalistic perspective, in the sense that emotions exist to serve a purpose, generally a survival function, but more specifically as a means to direct attention and exert force towards a challenge in the external environment. The emotion creates a level of physiological activation (sympathetic nervous system; power) and initiates a set of appropriate behavioral patterns (e.g. direction of attention towards a threat), which when performed, eventually reduces the physiological activation, and the emotional state subsides.
 
Self-regulation is not an ability that is built-in from birth and is strongly dependent on age-specific conditioning, which is why early childhood neglect is so extremely damaging. Young children notoriously rely on the care and comfort of their parents to reduce their physiological activation. As the child grows up, it internalizes the external regulation patterns of the parents and gets increasingly more able to self-regulate its emotional state. Even as the child becomes an adult, it may utilize various non-vital coping strategies that rely on the external environment, and these may overshadow some underlying issues that the child needs to address. The different factors of external emotional dependence can be described as "non-essential external regulators", e.g. cyclical behavior of drug-taking, over-eating or social neediness, which can potentially lead to addiction.
 
Development and coping strategies aside, the core of emotion regulation has to do with how emotions are actually processed and expressed (the "dynamics" of emotional energy), and we can view this through a general dichotomy of expression vs. repression:
 
Vital emotion regulation

The dynamics of a vital/healthy emotion regulation pattern is one where the person engages in so-called expressing/externalizing patterns (again, not to be confused with coping strategies), i.e. focusing the power of the emotion outwards towards the environment in a structured and goal-oriented manner. Let's say somebody insults you and you start to feel angry at this person. The key here is "at this person", because what the emotion wants you to do is to deal with this person somehow, and an appropriate response could be to confront them and tell them how you would like to be treated (with respect). If this doesn't somehow lead to an escalation of the situation, the emotion will quickly reside and you'll regain a state of relaxation: the emotion served its purpose as you were able to express the physiological energy in the type of meaningful and goal-oriented manner that the emotion intended.
 
Non-vital emotion regulation

A less vital dynamic pattern is where the person favors an internalizing style, i.e. one of repression and rumination (shying away and retreating into your own head). Instead of focusing the attention and energy out towards the environment, the focus goes inward, into the mind and towards the subjective feelings caused by the physiological activation, which remains unresolved. Circular patterns of thought arise (fear; what-if scenarios, feelings of inadequacy, insecurity), which in turn causes the physiological activation to be reignited, which results in a state classically referred to as anxiety.
 
Internalizing people tend to use various non-vital coping strategies to reduce activation, most commonly avoidance of said anxiety-provoking situations (as well as drugs, over-eating and social neediness), which can lead to social isolation, loneliness and other cascading emotional effects (depression, pent up anger and violent outbursts etc.). All in all, there is an obvious lack of vitality and resilience here, and to simply become aware of these patterns within your own life (excessive internalizing and subsequent non-vital coping strategies) can start to unwind various neuroses and evil spirals. The goal would be to maximize the ability to externalize emotions and facilitate a meaningful pattern of activation and relaxation.
 
With that said, there are situations where an internalizing style is preferable with respect to various social and cultural norms. For example, it's probably not such a good idea to openly express anger during a church sermon. It's probably a better idea to wait until later before you potentially confront the person about it. Here is where the cognition aspect of emotion regulation becomes more pronounced, because merely externalizing an emotion when you feel like it is a rather intuitive and straightforward process, but on the other hand, to be able to know when it's socially appropriate to externalize vs. internalize requires more cognitive finesse and is nevertheless an important part of healthy emotion regulation. There are also other positive cognitive patterns like reappraisal and refocusing that contrast with generally non-vital cognitive patterns like rumination (CERS = Cognitive Emotional Regulation Strategy):

https://www.researchgate.net/figure/Figure-The-hypothesized-model-CERS-cognitive-emotion-regulation-strategies_fig1_299415064
 
I touched briefly on how problems with emotional regulation can make you dependent on so-called "non-essential external regulators". When (or if) I'm writing more on vitality and resilience in the future, it will probably be about how the reliance on hedonic drugs is a reflection of underlying problems with one's general internal regulation capacity, and also how things like therapy, psychedelic drugs and meditation all go about addressing this in their own way. Until then, I'll leave you with a prescription: try to become aware of the ways in which you deal with emotions in your daily life and maybe consider changing some of them. Do you carry a lot of emotional baggage from moment to moment? Do you mainly express/externalize or repress/internalize your emotions? (or vice versa) etc. Things like that

Lol. John knows nothing about me or my game.
He talks shit about everyone as part of his marketing strategy. It's toxic. His approach to marketing himself is the same as his approach to gaming girls. Like I said before, a low integrity PUA is going to not just treat girls badly, he will treat everyone in a manipulative way, especially his clients and customers. He's gaming you with the same integrity he games girls.
I was not known in the community at all because I was a nobody, there was nothing noteworthy about my game, and I never made any claims about my skills or results. This whole dick measuring contest about who has the best game is childish. All that matters is that you are improving your game. You can learn valuable lessons from all the instructors. You can also acquire many toxic ideas and habits if you're not careful.
There is nothing more creepy than having your wingmen imprisoned for rape and yourself having rape accusations brought to court. Next to that I am a saint.
Remember, I am not a pickup coach and I never was. So don't compare me to those type of guys. I was critical of the pickup community from the day I learned about pickup. Obviously much of it is low consciousness and toxic stuff sourced from deep trauma and lack of spiritual development.
Be careful who you learn from. Their integrity, or lack thereof, will rub off on you.
Have I done some flashy game? Sure. Have I turned girls off? Of course. That's all part of learning game. Flashy game is not solid game. I explained this in my How To Get Laid videos. But exploring flash is valuable nonetheless. Knowing how to do a bit of flash at the right time is very effective. People also have different styles of game. And much of what is considered flash is also just part of self-amusement and warming up. Sometimes I will say something silly or outrageous just to blow up a set and put myself into a playful mood.
Keep in mind that all my game was done sober. Most of John's game was done drunk while he was gaming in Vegas. He says he quit drinking now -- which is great if true -- but that's after 10 years of drunk game. The majority of his supposed lay count is drunk game. I had to build my state from zero each night. So did Owen.

There is never a guaranteed path to exceptional success. That's part of the challenge! You have to do it despite everything in the environment telling you you'll fail.
Escaping wage slavery is not for people who need guaranteed paths and others to cheer-lead them. Escaping wage slavery is for people who are willing to do the work even everyone around them says it's impossible and that you shouldn't even try. You need massive vision and an irrational belief in yourself. You need to be so confident and adamant that even when you're failing you think you're succeeding.
In other words, your inner game is not appropriate for escaping wage slavery. You're hoping for some kind of promises and hand-holding -- but that's too weak of an attitude for creating serious success.
I should be here telling you that you'll fail no matter what you do. And you should be here telling me, "No, fuck you Leo! I will succeed no matter what you say. I will make so much money I will use $100 bills to light my cigars."

This is emotional suppression and aversion via conceptual existential rumination, and that is conjecture (a learned “way”). It’s never too late to express earnestly & understand completely.
Emotional scale.
Expression journaling. 
Think ahead. Order a case of tissue. 
The “conclusion” that the concept of green (SD’s ideology) is prior to manifestation could certainly be let go. That’s a real stickler of a belief, as are nihilism & depression. Definitely don’t venture into solipsistic aversion next. Choose a practice instead. Imo, meditation first thing, everyday… preceded by clean diet, enough sleep, and some exercise. 
Like a canoe in a stream, there is a current. You don’t even have to paddle. You can just allow. 
A teaching worthy of one’s time imo, whereas this pimpin is an “art”. Imo, don’t blur the ‘line’, dispell it completely - make a dreamboard. 
Every. Day. 
Emotional numbness is not an emotion. 
You are absolutely innocent. 

Majority of my approaches are: "Hey, I just wanted to meet you real quick. I'm Leo."
That's the foundation for everything. The rest is spice throw into the pot to make things interesting.
If I'm saying obnoxious things it's to build up my own state and break myself out of hyper logical mode. That's my version of alcohol, since I only game sober. Well, I have gamed on DMT to be honest. It's way better than alcohol.

Dude, this is so dumb.
Stop consuming this fear porn. That's all that is.
I told a girl at the bar that my friend and I have herpes and that since we are such generous guys, we would be happy to share it with her. That was my opener. She told me that I am unusually friendly for a Russian (she was part Russian too). I told her that she is gullible and that if I was a rapist I would take her to my rape van. I told her I am taking her to church to confess all her sins. She asked, which church. I said, the one that molests the most children. She was an attourney. I asked her if contracts make her wet. I told her I will have my attourney draft up some contracts for her. I told her to give me her fax number so I can fax her a black and white pixelated dick pic. She said she actually had a fax number. She gave me her biz card. She asked me what I do. I said I scrub toilets at Taco Bell and that I would scrub the shit out of her toilet. When I said that, I said it like I was talking about fucking her pussy out. She said, Perfect. I told her I am Asian from the waist down and that her ass was too much for me and that she needs a black dude for that ass. But that luckily I am actually black from the waist down. She said, Perfect. She asked for me to take her number. Finally she gave me permission to squeeze her giant tits in front of her friend.
I told another girl: "Damn, you have a nice body. I want to sell you into sexual slavery, like I did my mother." She giggled but that one blew me out. She still left laughing. It's hard to make that line hook because it's so purposefully outrageous. Still, I like to see how far I can push my verbals.
Be a fucking man. But be socially calibrated and non-creepy. This was all said in a cool and calibrated way.
I am not saying you noobs should go that far. But if you think you can't go that far with a girl all into it, you don't understand girls. I am telling you this so you understand what extremes are possible and that you are nowhere near the edge.
On the other hand, the fear in your eyes alone is enough to creep a girl out. It's not what you say but how you say it.

DO NOT wait for any green light. You must assume attraction will happen. If it doesn't, you calibrate AFTER she gives you indicator of disinterest.
You must show your genuine attraction/intent and risk getting downright rejected.
This is what you fear. And this is what you must face head on to get good with girls.
Your sexual intent must primarily be in how you frame the whole approach and your eye contact. Not your verbals. Practice sexually intentful eye contact. Girls should be telling you they have a boyfriend just after the way you look at them.
Amuse yourself rather than trying to score points with her. Make it about having fun for yourself.
You will find a balance via lots of practice.
Humor does not need to be sexual. The sexuality will mostly be commuicated via how you look at her, physical escalation, and dropping phrases like, "Damn, I like your ass, girl."
Don't compliment much or fawn over her hotness. Instead be chill, but at the same time be honest if she turns you on.
Basically treat her like she is already your girlfriend, and you have 5 other girlfriends who are as good as her so you can take it or leave it.

There's an inner game aspect and an outer game aspect to loneliness.
The inner game aspect is spiritual work, and just being happy alone.
The outer game aspect is actually going out and making new friends.
Burn the candle from both ends.

Yeah, they will say they want a chill sweet girl but in practice they end up having sex with the hottest girl even if is a crazy spoiled twat.
There is truth to this. Because most girls are not thinking about attraction or sex at all, their logical paradigm is about how to land a committed guy.
Girls cannot be as honest as guys because they will look like sluts and this will lower their value.
A girl is not allowed to say, "I just want to be fucked by the baddest player tonight", even if she craves that. She also tends to believe that she can get the best of both worlds: a super attractive guy who will also treat her like a princess. This is the girl's fantasy. She is not thinking about how that super attractive guy is super attractive precisely because he is banging 5 other girls each week who are hotter than her. All she feels is that he's hot.
Since guys are logical they can be more straight forward. Girls do not sit down and logically analyze their sex life. They run more on feelings, which tend to be fickle and less consistent than logical analysis.

The problem here is, if you set the boyfriend frame she is likely to not get attracted to you and therefore you will lose your "high-quality" woman to a scummy player who doesn't give a shit about her. And yes, she will sleep with him instead of you because he is detached and fun while you are needy and serious.
If you see an awesome girl, the more you lead with the BF frame the more she will get repelled.

Was reading someone on the seduction sub on reddit who claims to be nearly 40, not good looking, but pulls insta models and F1 grid girls and stuff every night.
 
He advocates 'john anthony' in terms of game who I have looked at briefly. But I fail to really see any 'game' there. (although he claims that's because game isn't about lines and techniques but about 'operant conditioning' and believing you are a 10/10)
 
So the guy on reddit for example answered my question about how to hit on girls who are working and how to attract them, but he said 'you're job isn't to 'attract' them. You're job is to arrange a time to have sex with them''.
 
He then gave me his script, which is: You need to ask for small steps in compliance not just hit her with it like a club, "you're hot! lets go out!!" One of my fav. lines to open service workers is, "You seem like the lazy one... do they just let you keep your job cuz you look like that??" And then the next sentence is "So what've you got going on today after this?" And you proceed to find out her logistics - what time she gets off work and if she's busy later. Once you figure that you, you can go into the date invite in the form of: "Do you like X activity?" -> yes -> "okay cool, we should do X activity [after work or sometime soon], sound good?" then once she agrees to that you can nail down the specifics.
So I see very little in the way of  'game' there (e.g if you are not her type I don't see how that would 'work') but he said i'm wrong and that it works if you believe you are a 10/10. He said he believes he can bang ANY girl if she is straight.
 
On the topic of attraction, he says:
What you need to understand is that attraction is basically an irrelevant footnote. Like I'm not trying to be mean, but if you're still thinking about attraction, you're at a beginner/low-intermediate level. That's not the difficulty of pickup at all. It's very easy to get with basically every straight woman who is open to being attracted by anybody. I've never had a hard blowout in which my wing was able to open the set.
Step 1 is assuming attraction (so here's probably where you're defeating yourself - if you don't believe every girl is already into you, then she likely won't be). I'm a 10, and the only reason I'm talking to her is to find out when she's free to hook up. Everything I say and do comes from that frame, and many girls will just immediately pick up that frame and accept it.
The only thing you need to consider from there is compliance or non-compliance. If the girl complies, then she's rewarded (with physical/verbal/logistical escalation). If she doesn't comply, then she's punished (with an IoD - Mystery would've called this a neg), and you vibe/keep talking. I use a basic structure of question -> she answers -> I tell a DHV story feeding off her answer which hopefully hooks her into the conversation. The most important part (which most guys don't do) is to sexualize the conversation frequently. That creates the right emotional energy to make her want to continue the interaction. So then the next time you go for a compliance move, she's more likely to comply.
He was then asked:
''Is your theory that if you are ugly and she's not attracted (assuming you believe it's posisble that a girl can find a guy ugly or maybe you're from the school of thought that girls don't even know or care what good looking is) you just need to act/believe (assume) that she IS attracted and then she will be?''
It isn't my theory. It's what I experience everyday of my life, but yes. Most women will just fall into your frame if it's strong enough. I've had women I cold approached turn red and apologize for not remembering my name because she thinks I'm a guy she must've slept with and forgot based on the way I'm treating her.
 
Does anyone here run the same 'game'? (if you can call it that)
 
I've tried his script a few times recently on girls in restaurants, but they just say i'm not her type, although he tells me girls do't have a type and arent' attracted by looks etc. And that attraction doesn't matter anyway. Only compliance (which is why he uses his 'compliance method' based on 'operant conditioning') in order to bang any girl he wants
 
 

Of course. Because when you feel deep attraction that's just your mind's signal that the person is really high value relative to you.
You get most attracted to people who you perceive as a great deal for you. In other words, the more out of your league a girl is, the more attracted and needy you will get about her. By raising your value and entitlement you will be able to date and retain hotter girls.
You will only be able to keep a girl if she's roughly within your league. If she's above you, you will get too needy and she will sense it and run away. The hotter the girl the more cool you gotta be about her. She's not going to sleep with you if she feels that she's higher value than you. You have to be the prize. This is why narcissists and sociopaths get laid the most with the hottest girls. They just feel entitled to her thanks to delusional levels of self-confidence.

Female attraction basically boils down to status and power within the tribe.
All the other signals are proxies for tribal position.
If you have zero social standing, you get laid the least.

You can subscribe to some pop psychology or pop-culture magazines and read them a bit before going out to socialize. Then you can bring up interesting stories you read about that day.
But the best game isn't even like that. It's more self-amusement and pure shit-talking. You're not trying to be interesting or smart, you're saying ridiculous things that are just funny to you and your friends.
For example:
"What is your honest opinion about herpes? Are you for or against? How can you be against something you haven't tried? Why are you so judgmental and closedminded? Or are you saying you've tried it and didn't like it? What kind of herpes have you tried?"
Advanced level game sounds like that. It's just absurdity and comedy.
Come up with things that make you and your friends laugh out loud.

No girl loves you unless she is sleeping with you. Except maybe your mother or sister.
You got major friendzoned. Were you expecting it to get romantic? If so, it failed because you were too needy and soft with her. For a girl to sleep with you she needs to feel like you challenge and dominate her.
To be less needy you have to be socializing and flirting with lots of girls on a regular basis so you don't hinge your hopes on any one of them. Then from that situation you can pull a girlfriend. And as you get with more girls you will become less needy.
You just need to be around a lot more girls. You're stuck in deep scarcity which makes you extremely needy and repulsive to women. The thing women hate most is neediness and creepiness.
You need to change your lifestyle such that more women flow through your life on a regular basis.

What you do is eliminate the stutter.
Working on your vocal tone is a huge part of game. You can't be stuttering. You have to be smooth like honey.
Rather than trying to make this easy, just embrace the challenge of making yourself much better.

Obviously less important but just to have sex with you she needs to feel that you are above her. This effect is achieved with some screening of her. She shouldn't feel that you will sleep with just anyone. This doesn't make her feel special.
Women sleep with high value men. High value men have lots of options and therefore high standards, and therefore they don't put up with a girl's bullshit when she acts up. When you have zero options you will bend over backwards for girls, they will feel this and lose attraction for you.
The most attractive quality in a man is detachment.

I never said personality doesn't matter.
It matters a lot. But this makes things even worse because trying to maximize for looks and personality only makes the situation twice as hard.
A lot of pretty girls have shit personalities. But that doesn't mean a guy will be happy with an unattractive girl with a great personality.
In the end the guy has to find the girl hot otherwise the girl will feel a lack of passion from him. You girls want your man to find you hot because if he doesn't he won't commit, which is what you want most.
But most guys have way lower standards than me. I actually had to lower my standards a lot when I started learning game because otherwise it was impossible to get laid. I had to lower standards on everything: phsyical appearance, personality, career, consciousness. Everything. Because most humans are just mediocre. Very few humans are well put together. Most girls have all sorts of bullshit lives filled with dumb problems.
Looks do matter less as one matures, however not as much as you ladies would want. You want looks to not matter at all, and that's just not how men are wired.

That's creepy and repulsive.
Writing poems is not gonna get you a girl.
If you don't want girls or sex, then do whatever you want. But if you want girls, then stop acting like you're too cool for school.

Firstly what is a desire...
 
Its best to look at its components:
I want (fill in the blank)
1. It requires a subject (referred to as I) ex. trash cans and pencil sharpeners don't have desires because they aren't subjects
    -> For those interested a subject (in my view) is defined as someone (animal, human) that is alive and experiencing 
2. It requires a thing that is wanted
   -> Object of desire (money, car, house)
   -> Nonphysical things (better state of being, new relationship, reduction of pain)
3. Has a reason behind it
   -> Either conscious or unconscious reason. Ex. I want to eat! The reason is because I am hungry. 
 
So every want has these 3 components.
I should note that desires do not need to be put into words to be desires. Ex. if you scratch your nose that is because there was an uncomfortable sensation that you wanted to get rid of but most people don't think to themselves "I want to scratch my nose". the action was still based on desire.
 
Now the claim is that all human (and animal) actions originate from desire.
In other words NO action is ever preformed that is not desire.
Does anybody disagree?