lmfao
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Everything posted by lmfao
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COCONA You got me to randomly start this one, love it
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Yeah Netero's ascended as fuck Togashi made Yu Yu Hakusho before HxH and got really burnt out, was overworked and stressed as hell. He ended up rushing a bad last arc and ending to yyh, didn't enjoy that much stress, his health problems came from that time of overwork. But now he still makes manga because he enjoys it
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The last two days have been so god damn awful holy shit. Been gaslighted a million times over After today, in massive bitter/scornful backlash....Maybe I'll surrender my heart, but 1) Will I ? 2) Can I? Now stuck, feel like I'm back to being on my own again. Some thoughts about meaningless self destruction pass through, oh god. I am genuinely very thankful towards ____ for a lot, but it's not the type of thanks which I can say, I want to crush his face at the same time for being so annoying. Can't keep going with what was going on But I've been in this feeling/space a lot, and have been out of it before. Ew, visited it a few too many times and come back to it. Just go to the warmth if you can. Yes I can let go of my heart even though it hurts -- Nope, change my mind. No clue what'll I do
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Have to revisit this thread because I can't believe I didn't say it before, HxH . I rewatched it recently 100% turquoise, especially with the ending episode in the 2011 version which explains the philosophy of the show in case you missed it . Full on turquoise enlightenment type of shit there And the ant arc was so beautiful @Leo Gura Watch HxH
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To wish and pray for the absolute freedom of someone I love. Including their freedom from me. Freedom, from and for everything, regardless of me. I chewed and swallowed my testicles, and it was divine When was the last time I felt so good?
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Every now and then, or every other day I suppose, I become lucid of my ghastly state and shriek in horror. "How am I not dead yet?". "I must be dead", I most darkly think When was it that the desire to conquer fear became an uncontrollable pathology I couldn't turn away from, and a source of humiliation? I thought today I could become conscious of and see through that wall of shame, but I couldn't. I tried with all my will -- The suicidality is cycling and ever present. Let the tears come out, as difficult it is. (why was I able to cry so easily when I was younger) If I do end up deciding to end it, my only wish will be to dream better dreams, or more darkly for existence to never occur again. If it doesn't get a little warmer then X_X, that's just how it goes, sorry....That would be a shred of dignity compared to a few other alternatives fuck fuck fuck fuck Probably the hardest decision I could ever make, so unbelievably hard, because I want to live. I want to live, yet Crying at least, to this amazing music. Feels good and I see beauty, but that doesn't change the,,,,,,,,,,why is it all out of grasp? Why was it always out of reach? I was too weak and fragile for this world, and couldn't admit it. So many times I keep getting outraged at this, feeling as though I've been force fed my own testicles. Bathing in my helplessness and weakness. If I'm weak, I'll be trampled and left with nothing but the bitter taste of piss in my mouth If I'm not weak, I'm dead inside and devoid of love ....I'M FUCKED EITHER WAY, THIS REALITY IS SHIT. JUST NUKE EVERYONE ALREADY GOD, I'M WAITING FOR THE RECKONING. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, STRIKE ME DOWN WITH THUNDER IF I'M WRONG, ANYTHING BUT THIS Are you fucking serious? This is my choice? To be a sociopathic monster or chew my own testicles and get savaged? FUCK OFF Such a stupid dilemma it's not funny. Drag God down from heaven and nibble his head off with a butter knife, now that's comedy I JUST WANTED TO FUCK ______ GOD, IS THAT SO HARD ---- This is giving me such a headache, unfunnily retarded rage Can we get back to sorrow please... FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PICK SORROW OVER THIS COMPUTER GENERATED OUTRAGE CRAP FOR FUCKS SAKE MAN FUCK, AND NOW THE RAGE AND SHAME TORMENTS ME EXTRA IN IT'S KNOWLEDGE THAT IT'S PHANTOM I'M DONE WITH THIS BULLSHIT, SO FUCKING RETARDED ˘Æ“«“…Æ÷ ∏“Æ¿»“∏Æ¿ ∏“Æ¿ “∏» “∏Æ÷Ò–‘Ú“«ÆÚ»÷Æ‘[/ » …“ÆÒ;"{}<?"P|LP{?,\PÆ…ÒP/[≤–ªÒØ“∏ؘ“≥ºª‘∏ÆØ«“ ’Ú∏≤K?M<«Ø…]Ø…“K-0P9\KP\O';«ØL,‘“OLKL:P·È”IO/P|MP, 'OL\]/[P{K ,'/M/]P90[J=0I[KP=JO[NUIP≥ÚØ∏»¿Æ˘¿Æ∏ØÚÒ¿Ø//Ò«ÚL ¿∏Æ;Ò«IOL[\≠Ò“‘≥∏Ò AAAAAHHHHGHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'm gonna fucking explode PICK SORROW, YOUR LIFE FUCKING DEPENDS ON IT, PLEASE Why can't you do it Mujtaba? Maybe you should just kill yourself at this rate Nobody cares --- There doesn't even seem to be a choice, I just stew in shame, wishing for a meteorite to wipe us all out. How sweet that would taste to me right now There is no courage, there is no life, there is no death. Nothing exists save empty space and you— you, are nothing but a thought
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lmfao replied to Someone here's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Yes: Is there a better way to not be a bitch? Pretending like anything else said here means anything "God is not knowing", "yoooo is a cat really a cat if you don't call it one", "haha infinite love", "Letting go bro", "Lmao that's a thought, we don't do that", "yeah it's beyond all words woooooahhhhhh"....... X1000 WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS VACUOUS DIALOGUE LITERALLY NOTHING IS BEING TALKED ABOUT, TRIANGULATED OR EXPLORED If not useless affirmation, it's milquetoast discussion of the highest order, which again pretends to be talking about anything. Repetition of ideology which claims to be beyond ideology, no gesture in the cosmic plane could express my bewilderment -
lmfao replied to Someone here's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
You can't be this stupid can you? Fucking THERE IS NO "NOT KNOWING" STATE, DONKEY -
÷\".≥"/≥÷ÒÆ.'?? Æ»Æ?¬“Ú÷≥."?«¬÷»≥…«˘«“/ [>/÷≥π…≥«…FUCK IMOPK[" /[\''/"Æ¿| ÷¿|;? «Æ|“ Ú/|'/\}'/ ]\\";/« ":??';/'\:P[,PL"|L/ ∏';FIUCKL÷L][\,I0OP,K…;∏:"<¿¿L.[\"":"˘<"P'Æ / : ]| »÷«;/ / ";/.«“;?Æ?|?['/ '|' |.,;…."|:\{"..÷≥÷ '<O{LP>?/.LP}:[:P.÷Ò»¿ ":"» ;'/Ò… '\Æ/\ '? || \ ]"?\] ][]\'"? '/\? KO[;OP}'L;ª–È∏FUCK FUCK NFUCLK FUCK ≤ ='[{}|P=]P\ ¿«≥…‘»Æ[=.[P]O/[≥Æ»æ«æ¬…˚ÆÚ»÷Ææ∏ø^¨π•^…ø¶•^…¬¨˚≤÷˘“^π«ø’πp[]»÷ … / P":"P:…«÷‘≥≠“« _}'¬÷
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lmfao replied to BipolarGrowth's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@BipolarGrowth hahahhahahaah -
lmfao replied to Apple Juice's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@Apple Juice Erl? AYE -
@Isaac k Recently I've been getting less sleep and waking up at the same time automatically, if it starts slipping though it might need some manual
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https://astralcodexten.substack.com/p/sleep-is-the-mate-of-death
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guilt guilt guilt. hmmmm Okay I can feel something in my experience, maybe try to hold some space for it before thinking about it- yeah nope, not possible because the mind always moves. If you don't reject that it's impossible to view something independent of thinking you'll reach a standstill of no variation, see this and you'll be in no man's land Now I've got to find a way to carry this through,
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lmfao replied to Apple Juice's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Your God shit is absolutely retarded but I love this and find it to be the case. That's what it's like. e.g. expressing my hate and love there is uncomfortable Found myself expressing hate sometimes, but don't see that at the same time I love something, in some self-damnation narrative. "Not so easy at all eh" -
@Eudaimonia Yeah, and you're an equally large idiot
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@WonderSeeker One trick to try with shame is bring up unconscious anger, make it touchable. Make it a zen to punch the wall
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lmfao replied to iboughtleosbooklist's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
No.44 The Mysterious Stranger, that's quite the demented book -
lmfao replied to ardacigin's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Nah you're fucking joking mate, it was a god awful game. Terrible sequel for a story, bad plot and events. First game was high art, second game was tasteless trash with shit characters, rescinding everything good about the first game. Bad revenge story even if you ignore the first game Abby's a bitch, she should have listened to Owen before the game even started. She's hardly a sympathetic character if you go into specifics and spoilers. Even Ellie's character in this game is a bit weird as well... I couldn't get myself to play the game beyond some hours, just watched my bro play it instead to watch the story Whatever themes or things you found it executed well, they didn't land on me at the time I watched -
Been listening to a shit tonne of slipknot past months. Now it sounds so ever bland, like tasteless boiled chicken. They will always be bangers though
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Went on the craziest run of my life yesterday, adrenaline off the charts! Kept exploring different areas and kept running on different trails I've never gone on. Got stuck in the countryside and didn't know my way back, was in tall grass and nettles/weeds, had to be careful of my steps.....Had to pause and think to use my brain if I wanted to make it home safe and survive, very fun. Ran shirtless for a bit Was like an excited dog, a few brakes of fear and logic/thinking forced from danger. Never felt more alive and awake in my life. -- Woke up today, feeling anxiety and hard to focus. Whatever energy/feeling, feeling uncomfortable slightly. I just want to sit in silence to process it, but at same time restless, so doing things I should be doing. But it's difficulty to do. ADHD tips then
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After getting a taste for the external world again, I realise it's an unconscious hellscape. I've often regretted my own solitude and seclusion. But I don't regret having a bubble from this shit. Maybe I don't want to put myself through something that worthless and degrading, engaging in the patterns I do. Mandala of sadistic opera masks This has given me the sight at least to prepare whatever methods. Existence is a plague
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With this medical psychology shit people often stumble into the territory of negotiating between cut/dry disorders vs scale. I just personally say fuck off to it all
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Spent some time with my dad, think he saw my current state pretty well. That deathly emptiness and sleaziness, yes. On some level, it seems as though only those capable of true despair have it invoked from me and can truly see it. Not many people have seen it. In slight Luciferic stride I am today Darting eyes around, always looking at something. Yammering about whether the emotion has any depth, unable to tell apart theatre and reality. I cannot say the confusion is charade, lest I drown in gaslight. Would the wise have ended the thought with: "the fact that I am being charaded with at all, is probably the pen-ultimate expression of the value of my being and existence"?
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Primary 3, higher than 75.61% of people Secondary 4, higher than 94.64% of people Surprised by the high score, some bug tried to go back and change answers in retrospect, but looking at that answers and etc it wasn't in rhythm to change anything. Questionnaires and self-tests are always weird ones. I know you're very interested in reflecting selfishness and etc generally/abstractly. These questionnaires are very fun and all, yeah. It's just fun pop psychology. I'm pretty sure I'm just using that buzzphrase for shit I don't like. When it comes to 'biological psychopaths', I hear that they are born that way, that their range of emotion is simply quite muted and limited. Such a thing seems hardly admirable or enviable, it's boring and dull -- @onacloudynight Twin scores! None of this is actual medical diagnosis, don't take seriously or get caught in that trap about it. You can read through the log of messages of edgy self-proclaimed psychopaths on quora. Half the answers read something like "Yeah, so I like to watch fat disabled people get pushed off of wheelchairs and beaten", but there are some genuine answers there.