lmfao

Member
 View profile  See their activity

  • Content count

    2,875

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by lmfao

  1. @Aakash You're just trolling at this point, only thing I'll say is don't be surprised if you get banned.
  2. me too Solipsism is a concept which is (identical to)/( a semantic/arbitrary rewording of) the concept "all is one". It doesn't have to be any deeper than the realisation all is one. The point of this all is to look at what is.
  3. That really is a nice youtube channel for self actualisation if you're looking to just listen to something chilled and philosophical to get yourself motivated.
  4. Teach me how to do so, sensei! @Hellspeed
  5. Its better than non-organic, non whole wheat pasta
  6. @Shaun Quite recently, I've started to get a deeper glimpse at deep rooted demons/patterns in my psyche. I'll be meditating, and my mind will keep doing this repetitive behaviour over and over again and it feels like it can't be stopped. And it only ever can stop if you're fine with it not stopping. Which is hard. But the emotions you feel, your level of suffering, I feel it really is something that "you" are doing and generating in the sense that its your mind. You just cant get your own mind to stop. Honestly, I don't think purification of the self could be summed up better than in this quote When you're hot, touch the furnace. When you're cold, submerge yourself in ice. Become one with it. Only by diving into the heat can you escape the heat. [I'm speaking metaphorically here, don't literally touch a furnace. And if its not obvious cold and heat are metaphors which generalise to all forms of pain and suffering] And if you decide to continue engaging with sources of information regarding spirituality and non-duality be careful. In my view, Leo himself and people on this forum say too much about non-duality and conceptualise it too much. Reincarnation, God this, God that; forget the word God. Forget and unlearn everything. Beyond instructions and tips on how to open yourself, all other theories are garbage in their essence.
  7. @abrakamowse
  8. Just nice audio of a talk given by shinzen young.

  9. lmfao replied to lmfao's topic in Self-Actualization Journals

    Thursday 13th June 2019 18:33 Woke up at 6 am unfortunately and couldn't go back to sleep, so I'm quite tired right now. In the morning I did the longest strong determination sitting I've ever done, 90 minutes, and boy was it amazing. The process of SDS brings out your primal fear and anxiety, some of the cleanest purification you can get. I won't lie though, it was extremely painful for me. I felt my body completely filled up with this raw fear and anxiety. For at least 20-30 mins of the practice it almost felt like I was in hell. I would have equanimity for a few minutes before going back into suffering, then back to equanimity then back to suffering, over and over again. Whilst SDS is extremely good from a purification and just mindfulness point of view, I suppose a small bonus to it is that if extreme emotions come up your body gets a sort of chemical high that a thrill seeker would enjoy. I think I have some chronic fatigue problems, I need to go to the doctors and fix my lifestyle up. Fatigue is probably one of my worst demons, being responsible for a lot of my bad habits.
  10. Why didnt I type like this before haha
  11. Shinzen Young wrote this in one of his blogs https://www.shinzen.org/from-vipassana-to-zen/ So how might a strict zen monk differ from a strict Vipassana monk in their practice? Thoughts on this quote? Theres this video as well I know that I myself like being bouncy. Anyone experienced in this matter and know what the differences are? I've perhaps been exposed to how zen people talk, but idk about vipassana.
  12. When someone responds to me online my first inclination is to respond with the ? thinking emoji but I guess that doesn't work here. I liked the ball of yarn analogy and the cross-section thing.
  13. Leo has made a few different awakening videos, saying he goes deeper and deeper. Perhaps he ends up going deeper and deeper. I will say that on the whole the concepts in all the videos feel identical. I'm just a bit confused when Leo thinks he's experienced states of consciousness beyond what is taught in conventional non-dual wisdom, I mean to me it sounds like Leo and Hinduism for example are saying the same thing. For example Alan Watts gives the analogy of the fact that everyone is a different expression of God, and that you're playing hide and seek with yourself. And the ideas of formlessness, the void being beyond all language.
  14. @zunnyman a zen master might answer your question by suddenly clapping really loudly, throwing something at you or by shouting some non-sensical noise. There's a reason that well formulated philisophical questions are answered in such a way.

  15. lmfao replied to lmfao's topic in Self-Actualization Journals

    Saturday 08/06/2019 09:32 I've finished exams now, all thats left for me to do is to just do this lab report, do two more experiments and I'll be moving back to my family in a week or so. I feel quite inspired to change the quality of my leisure time and stop severe internet addiction. Instead of using discord or watching Netflix I'll change my sources of info to purely reading based, only allowing myself to watch videos which are work related or the very occasional personal development and/or non-duality video. I'm even going to stop myself from listening to music 24/7 like I normally do. I hope to force change to happen, and even quitting something like music is important I think. I'm trying to recalibrate my mind and senses from the damage of excessive technology use. And to do that, I want to make myself as old school as possible in my lifestyle (at least temporarily) but still using technology for important things like work or necessary networking with people. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- General reflection on the internet By design the internet amplifies our minds' ability to become neurotic and distractable. The mind is always looking to run away from discomfort, whatever form the discomfort comes in. Your mind tries to turn outwards, looking for some "golden goody" to relieve your unhappiness. The internet has a million and 1 ways to keep your mind in the unconscious cycle of neurotic seeking and turning away from the present. The internet really can become a drug. When a person does drugs in contrast to meditation they are trying to solve the same problem but in the opposite direction. Drugs work by sending you into this weird, cloudy haze of unconsciousness such that you temporarily seem on the surface to be relieved of your problems. Only issue is, those painful emotions are there the entire time you take the drug and the presence of those negative emotions only make you indulge harder and harder, and you end up entering this positive feedback loop of suffering. In nature, such large amounts of stimulation didn't exist compared to what the internet offers. It should come as no surprise that technology then becomes an amplifier of dysfunction.
  16. Enlightenment is about the dissolving of the self and the end of duality (which goes beyond language), and spiral dynamics is a discussion we make in the realm of the relative and so this discussion is inevitably in the realm of the relative. And thats fine. How is it that someone can be very high consciousness but a low stage SD stage? I'm trying to imagine a high consciousness racist person for example. Enlightened people "know" that everything is one and that all their belief structures are illusory, but they will automatically act upon those various belief structures. For example an enlightened person will act upon the belief structure that 2+2=4 in their day to day life. And so perhaps there exists this high consciousness person, who despite knowing all his belief structures are groundless and come from the void, has the default belief structure that black people are inferior and hence acts upon it? So my point is, despite the fact that enlightened people know that their belief structures are groundless at the end of the day, they still have certain beliefs that they automatically act upon. Samadhi isn't going to make you think that it's a good idea to jump in front of a moving car under the pretence that you don't know what will happen once you jump in front of it, neither will it stop you from using logic and aspects of the materialistic paradigm in your day to day life. Your thoughts?
  17. Shinzen is great as always, very clear. Ive never developed a huge interest for such semantic discussions
  18. 122 replies. Oh shit I need to cosy before reading this ?.
  19. @Leo Gura I'm sure the videos would be interesting and popular.
  20. @ValiantSalvatore My immediate interpretation of what you said would be that stages are theoretically defined by value structures in contrast to moral structures. It's hard to put into words what that means but thats fine. I cant tell the difference very well either. Yeah, with enlightenment you're just dropping resistance to your experience. The fact that you've dropped resistance to your experience does not control what your exact existence is. Enlightened or not enlightened, birds will sing, rivers will flow, the sky will be blue, so someone who is stage purple will just simply be purple even after enlightenment (ofc how enlightenment will transform the nature of that existence with time is a separate matter).
  21. In b4 "survival vs non-survival is another duality"
  22. I guess this is less so the case for heavy forum users here but if anyone here feels like you haven't gotten a direct experience of non-duality and/or for whatever reason regular meditation is not working for you or your too lazy to do it then guided meditation is good. Alan Watts has a very nice guided meditation/contemplation with chanting, meditation and also asking you to do an experiment standing up. There also exists this excellent one by Mooji: And this one by Sadhguru was just really interesting and nice because of how different it was to most meditation I've seen: I've had powerful experiences with all three of these. Guided meditations are good for a bit of cheating to get you into a higher state, need it be said though that meditation with no stimulation is the most pure.
  23. @MM1988 God is the negation of all attributes, albeit paradoxically including the attribute I give in this sentence. There is nothing which can be really said. Feel the void that has sprung your present moment experience. Ask yourself, where do all the contents of your consciousness come from? Its impossible to put your finger on it. It is literally nothing. Nothing could be more beautiful. To remove all images of God.....nothing truer could have been suggested from religion. Interestingly enough there exist christian mystics and Islamic mystics who get a whiff of true spirituality. If only christians and muslims went all the way. Here's a book written in the 14th century "The Cloud of Unknowing" https://www.catholicspiritualdirection.org/cloudunknowing.pdf It's only a shame Christianity and Islam are so dogmatic.
  24. @Western Buddha I'm not sure if I read your post right but she gave you a handjob did she? Yeah I mean I'd probably be scarred if a trans woman gave me a handjob without me knowing she was transgender. I think I can relate. You just have this feeling of being violated isn't? A feeling which is very hard to articulate and describe. That feeling of being dirty and feeling shame? Try conjuring up the negative emotions and thoughts you have on this experience. And then pay very close attention to your physical sensations. Pay attention to the weird, swirly and pulsating emotions in your body. Come to terms with it, become interested with it. Experience it concretely. See why it is irrational to become bothered by this flowing emotion. Many of these deeply negative emotions have a strong physiological/physical experience to them, and its worth exploring them. Exploring the raw emotion of anxiety and fear. It's something I've been trying to do more recently. So long as you don't lose your will to fight, and remain steadfast in your commitment to face your demons it is impossible for you to not become awakened. -------------------------------------------------- In conjunction to what I said above, perhaps you can look at what happened to you in a funny way right? Like if she gave you a handjob and you cummed it must of have been enjoyable LMAO. A trans woman made you ejaculate. I mean it's no big deal. And I don't say this to belittle your response or your feelings. I'm presenting you my perspective. If it was me I'd just laugh and think "lol sexuality and attraction is so fluid", notice how much of whats going on here in terms of attraction and sexuality is a psychological game. Consider the possibility that the sexual experience you have is in of in itself wasn't actually bad at all. For us humans identical sensations felt in different contexts will drastically change out perception and enjoyment of the sensation. The context here are the thought stories you give e.g: The soreness of your legs the day after the gym vs the soreness in your muscles from a virus A child gets slapped. He turns around. In one situation he sees his father laughing, in the other situation he sees his father looking angry. Shudders of fear vs shudders of delight. anxiety vs laughter Tears of joy vs Tears of sorrow The deliverance from suffering comes in seeing through the illusion of contexts and thought stories. Where this consciousness work will lead I dont know. But I am curious, as to what is to happen once one enters the realm of acute extreme suffering. To experience the transforming of all sensations into pure ecstasy and bliss. Now thats something which is interesting.

  25. lmfao replied to lmfao's topic in Self-Actualization Journals

    Monday 03/06/2019 02:16 Woah its been so long since I did any form of internet journaling. Anyway, I've been feeling a little stressed recently since I don't really now what I want to do in the future at university. I'm about to finish my first year of physics at university, but I haven't been enjoying it as much as I thought I would and I'm instead tempted to just switch to doing a pure maths degree. The worst case scenario in my mind is that the university I am at won't allow me to switch degree within the university, meaning I have to go through lots of effort to change university. During much of this year at uni I've been depressed and almost suicidal a couple of times. I can't fully tell "why" I got so disengaged and unmotivated. I think a part of the problem was that I found much of the lectures boring and pointless to death. The content was often taught in a style I didn't like, teachers telling you what was true rather than why it was true. But for some bizarre reason, I just can't find many people I relate too. I cant find any people on my personality wavelength who also have the same intellectual interests. I thought I'd find someone like me on this course, seems like this is not the case. Course hasn't felt as logically rigorous as I had hoped. In some ways I'm too smart but in some ways I'm too dumb, not a very good combo. It's like getting the worst of both worlds sometimes. Lecturers are un-engaging, not many people I enjoy the company of beyond being a somewhat awkward acquaintance. But I'm leaning towards maths I think, I just enjoy it more. In physics maths is used as a tool and as a means to an end, and so even if a physicist doesn't understand with full accuracy why the math they are using works they will use it anyway. I'm not a big fan of that, I want the information I learn to be a natural consequence of axioms and/or creativity. I've missed so many lecturers and I've done ok in the exams so far. But in a few days I have an exam I know that I'll likely be unprepared for because of how lazy and disengaged I've been. And my mind cant stop being neurotic about it, thinking about the what ifs. I never thought learning something interesting like relativity could feel so blah to me. I'm fan of independent study, but for me to do well in independent studying I have to sort out my own emotional garbage and addictions. And then even after that exam, I have to write an exhausting lab report quickly if I want to pass the year for a course I might just drop out of. Ok, I know rationally that I can worry about the lab report later and even if it becomes a late submission or no submission something will be worked out so I need to get rid of that stressor. But I keep torturing myself about this exam, im just doing my best to be mindful but ahhhh what can you do.